4 year old still filling a night time d*iaper...

[Dianne-TX]

I'm not concerned, but she's my only child out of 4 that has done this.  She's rarely been dry overnight and is sometimes dry after her nap, but it's never been consistent.  I had bed*wetting issues growing up that were just developmental as did my mom when she was younger.  DD has no medical issues, emotional issues, no pain, nothing and is normal otherwise.  I'm fine with waiting it out for her developmentally, if necessary, but I'm just wondering if anyone could offer any ideas on what to do, if anything?  I've looked into getting a P*eapod bed mat that has good reviews and may help her if she can sleep in p*anties, not a diaper.  That's one of my thoughts anyway.  Any other suggestions?  Thanks.

[purplejackmama]

No worries. 2 of my boys have been almost 6 before they woke up dry. They are both very heavy sleepers and would never wake to use the bathroom.

 

I would not worry about it. A few things you can do are to limit liquids after 5 and wake her later on in the evening to use the bathroom.

[ktgrok]

The problem isn't sleeping through her full bladder, the problem is she is still filling her bladder when sleeping. An alarm might wake her up to go, but really, she isn't supposed to NEED to get up during the night, as her kidneys are supposed to slow down when you are sleeping. Better to keep on as you are, and just be patient. Once that change happens she will stay dry overnight on her own. 

[Guest]

I had this happen with one and it was an issue until 7 years old. It was well within the normal range. She just slept hard and had a small bladder. We did about a week with a potty alarm and that helped immensely.

 

I should add though, those alarms don't work very well until they're a bit older. We tried them when my son was newly five and no dice.

Edited August 15, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Tanaqui]

In order to be dry at night, a few different things have to happen.

 

First, the bladder has to be big enough to make it through to morning.

 

Second, if it does get full at night, sleep has to be light enough to wake her up.

 

Thirdly - and this is the most important one - her body has to produce the hormone that slows urine production while sleeping.

 

That's purely developmental, and there's not anything you can do to speed this process. Most children are dry at night by 6 or 7. A few aren't dry at night until 10 or 12, and a very small percentage of the population doesn't ever grow out of bedwetting. This usually isn't anything to worry about (medically, I mean), though you can ask the pediatrician for advice if she doesn't make any progress by 7 or so. (If she had been dry for a while and now had started bedwetting again, I'd suggest going to the pediatrician right away. Bedwetting in a child who has outgrown it can indicate a medical issue, some of which are quite serious.)

 

You can try waking her up at night to pee, but that's a real hassle. You can try limiting liquids after the last pee of the night, but that almost never works for anybody. I mean, everybody tries it. Or you can let it go. That's probably best. The tricky part is working hard not to make her feel bad about this. It can be frustrating, still changing diapers at four! Don't let her think nighttime diapers have anything to do with maturity. They don't. It's just physical.

[EmseB]

At four I'd just stick with diapers or a pullup and not worry about it.

[Rachel]

Keep with the pull ups. If you have trouble with them leaking I found some great washable bedpads on Amazon. The brand is Medline and they run about $20 for 4 of them.

[kewb]

My dd was 12 before she stopped having weekly accidents. Very heavy sleeper.it runs on dh's side of the family.

[KrissiK]

My dd has the same problems until she was 7 or 8 years old. She sleeps deep, we'd try to wake her up when we went to bed to go to the bathroom but she would be combative. So, we just waited it out and she grew out of it.

Edited August 15, 2016 by KrissiK

[amo_mea_filiis.]

My almost 12 year old has *just* started being dry more often than wet.

 

At 4-7 I was using medical diapers with booster pads with him, and he'd still leak!

[catz]

Oh, I consider that no big deal at all at 4.  I think my son had his last night time accident at 8.  He would go longer and longer between over time, but it took a while.  Being careful about beverages close to bedtime and not letting him get over tired did help.  We have a neighbor girl that took until age 12.  My dd was night trained when she was day trained practically, so they're all different. 

 

4 is still awfully little.  Some kids still need daytime reminders at that age!  I wouldn't sweat it at all!

[redsquirrel]

In order to be dry at night, a few different things have to happen.

 

First, the bladder has to be big enough to make it through to morning.

 

Second, if it does get full at night, sleep has to be light enough to wake her up.

 

Thirdly - and this is the most important one - her body has to produce the hormone that slows urine production while sleeping.

 

That's purely developmental, and there's not anything you can do to speed this process. Most children are dry at night by 6 or 7. A few aren't dry at night until 10 or 12, and a very small percentage of the population doesn't ever grow out of bedwetting. This usually isn't anything to worry about (medically, I mean), though you can ask the pediatrician for advice if she doesn't make any progress by 7 or so. (If she had been dry for a while and now had started bedwetting again, I'd suggest going to the pediatrician right away. Bedwetting in a child who has outgrown it can indicate a medical issue, some of which are quite serious.)

 

You can try waking her up at night to pee, but that's a real hassle. You can try limiting liquids after the last pee of the night, but that almost never works for anybody. I mean, everybody tries it. Or you can let it go. That's probably best. The tricky part is working hard not to make her feel bad about this. It can be frustrating, still changing diapers at four! Don't let her think nighttime diapers have anything to do with maturity. They don't. It's just physical.

 

That is fascinating. I had no idea such a hormone existed. I learn such interesting things here.

 

My kids were at the other end of the spectrum. At 18 months they each just stopped being wet when they woke up. That was it. They never had to sleep in a diaper again.  I had to train them to use a potty, but they woke up dry. I've always wondered how that was possible, because it was so different from their peers, and now I know. They just happen to start making a particular hormone at a very young age. Luck of the draw.

 

And yes, four year olds are still so little!

[Upennmama]

4 is totally normal. My kids doc didn't even want to discuss interventions until 7. We did use a pee alarm with 1 kids, it worked in 2 nights, but the child was 7. 

[cjzimmer1]

That is fascinating. I had no idea such a hormone existed. I learn such interesting things here.

 

I agree, I too had never heard of such a thing.  But it would explain a lot for me.

 

I remember once having a conversation with one of my friends where she had told me about due to a genetic condition all her kids had nighttime problems till much later but how very common it was even for kids without this condition. I never really gave it any consideration before because my 5 oldest were all dry overnight long before we ever started potty training (so well before 3) so I never had to give the nighttime stuff any thought.  However, my youngest has been potty trained for at least 6 months and still soaks a diaper overnight. I knew it was in the range of normal from my conversation with her so I hadn't been worried but every time I buy a box of diapers I do secretly hope it will be the last one.

[bethben]

I had a boy who was 11 before he stopped. I just bought pull ups and overnights. Sleep was more important for all involved than trying to get him to stop. One child was 6 before she stopped and with her it was just being lazy. We figured that out when we were tucking her into bed saying goodnight and her pull up was already full.

 

 

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[Hypatia.]

4 is still in the range of normal, so it's not something I would worry about.

 

I used a bedwetting alarm (the Malem Alarm) when my oldest was about 6/7, per his request. He wanted to stop having to wear GoodNites and waking up wet. It took nearly the full 12 weeks that the directions talked about, but it did work. First he learned to wake up when he needed to pee, and then could eventually make it through the night without having to get up. Afterward my then 5 & 3 year olds asked for their turn with the alarm (because, siblings) and were dry within 3 and 1 weeks, respectively. I'm now using it with my 3.5 year old. 

[Seeking Squirrels]

My 8yo still wears a goodnights to bed and she usually changes it once in the night. Both are quite full. Doctor still isn't concerned. We don't really do anything. I'm not going to disrupt her sleep (and my own or my *me* time) to wake her to go. They say limiting liquids at night does very little to help. We did get an alarm system and she's asked to try it twice, but each time she does not want to use it a second night. I'm not going to push it right now. 

[Jennifer132]

My oldest child stayed dry all night at 2.5. My second was two (she'd get up and go in the middle of the night). My third child started staying dry the day she stopped sucking her thumb at night. Three weeks before she turned 5. She does have medical issues though, and that could account for the lateness. My fourth is four and a half and is still sometimes wet in the morning. But she is becoming more motivated to stay dry now that big sis is dry.

[Janeway]

The problem isn't sleeping through her full bladder, the problem is she is still filling her bladder when sleeping. An alarm might wake her up to go, but really, she isn't supposed to NEED to get up during the night, as her kidneys are supposed to slow down when you are sleeping. Better to keep on as you are, and just be patient. Once that change happens she will stay dry overnight on her own.

I don't think that change ever happened for me. I get up several times at night to go to the bathroom. It has always caused me problems.

[mommyoffive]

So does the alarm actually do anything?  If this is hormone related than how does that fix things? 

 

Is the only thing you can do for older kids, just to wait it out? 

[RKWAcademy]

My son was 6 before we finally used the alarm.  It only took a few days, and he was dry after that.  I think 4 is early to be concerned and early to use the alarm.  It takes some maturity to handle the beep and know what it means.

 

Someone (possible on here) once mentioned to stop giving the kid milk after 4 and it helps bedwetting.  Doesn't sound very scientific but I swear it helped.  I cut out milk at 3pm.  Nothing but water after that. 

[blue daisy]

My 6 year old still soaks a pull up every night. We've just started working on it (limiting fluids, making her get up and go if she wakes at night but not waking her on purpose yet). I'm not worried about it and she isn't bothered by it either. In fact, like another poster, we would sometimes find her with a full pull up before she fell asleep because she didn't feel like getting up. Lol. So, we're addressing those issues before using an alarm or waking her to go yet.

[Okra]

Goodness!  Four years old!  This is no big deal!  Put her in pull ups if you don't want to use diapers.  She can put them on and off herself.

 

We had children who were 11 before they stopped wetting the bed.  Four seems shockingly young to even think about worrying about this.

 

So, re-adjust your expectations to no big deal, buy some pull ups so she is not wearing baby diapers, and don't let her worry about it either.

 

I would not buy a bed alarm.  This will fix itself with time.

 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

I don't think that change ever happened for me. I get up several times at night to go to the bathroom. It has always caused me problems.

Have you ever been examined to see if you have a spastic bladder?  My grandmother had this issue all of her life.  The bladder periodically spasms so you end up needing to go during the night, sometimes frequently.  Drove my grandmother nuts and she tried everything to change it before the doctor finally disovered that her bladder was spasming.  She realized that her mother had probably had the same problem.  

[Laura Corin]

Does she like the feel of a wet nappy?  One of mine was wetting a nappy at night when he was quite big.  One night, I had to go back into his room shortly after putting him to bed, and I could smell that he had wet his pull up.  He was definitely awake and could have got up to go and pee.  I asked him, and he said he liked the feel of the warm pull up.  

 

I sympathised, but we had a talk about how there were some things that felt good but really weren't the best idea.  He stopped.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I don't think that change ever happened for me. I get up several times at night to go to the bathroom. It has always caused me problems.

This can be a symptom of sleep apnea. In sleep apnea, you're constantly waking, without knowing, and the body never has a chance to produce the hormone.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Goodness! Four years old! This is no big deal! Put her in pull ups if you don't want to use diapers. She can put them on and off herself.

 

We had children who were 11 before they stopped wetting the bed. Four seems shockingly young to even think about worrying about this.

 

So, re-adjust your expectations to no big deal, buy some pull ups so she is not wearing baby diapers, and don't let her worry about it either.

 

I would not buy a bed alarm. This will fix itself with time.

I agree that a 4 year old is nearly a baby and is not an issue yet, however, bed wetting doesn't always fix itself. There are people who don't outgrow it and wet as an adult. The percentage of adult wetters are low, but it does happen.

[Rachel]

So does the alarm actually do anything? If this is hormone related than how does that fix things?

 

Is the only thing you can do for older kids, just to wait it out?

The alarm is activated when a child starts to urinate. It wakes them up to use the bathroom. It is supposed to teach a child to recognize the signal of a full bladder.

[Janeway]

Have you ever been examined to see if you have a spastic bladder?  My grandmother had this issue all of her life.  The bladder periodically spasms so you end up needing to go during the night, sometimes frequently.  Drove my grandmother nuts and she tried everything to change it before the doctor finally disovered that her bladder was spasming.  She realized that her mother had probably had the same problem.  

Yes.

 

I have a kidney malformation. There are medications I have been on in the past. I cannot even drink soda because it sends my bladder in to spasms. I feel like the medications did a mediocre job. Plus, it really interfered in college. I suffered a lot in college because I had a roommate and had to get up all the time during the night. I was always tired and my roommates always were unhappy with me. 

 

How did she solve the spasm problem? My quality of life has been so affected by this issue.

[OneStepAtATime]

Sadly she really never did. She would just go to the restroom a lot.