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When do boys stop whining?


Gil
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Oh no.

I have two boys (8 and 9). Not only do they still get childish attitudes but their voices still do the shrilly-whiny thing, I'm not sure if they do it consciously or not but its immediate and absolutely annoying and grating.

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I will use an exaggerated whiny voice back at my kids when they do that to me so they get a taste of how obnoxious it is; they don't like it and it does encourage them to drop the whiny tone.

 

I tell my kids there are appropriate ways to disagree and I will listen to them if and only if they speak in a polite tone. I am deaf to whiny or rude tones.

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My boys are teens, so no little kid type whining, more like teen whining.  It's different, but annoying none the less!

 

True.  When they get older, the pitch gets lower, so it's easier on the ears, if not the nerves.

 

Also, the taller they get, the more that you will want to throw something at them when they whine.  I recommend hacky sack balls.

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I taught gymnastics to girls 5-17 for years, I have a PhD in whine. :-) 

 

The tactic I used the most was to let them know I couldn't hear them if they used a whiny voice. 

 

"I'm sorry, I don't understand whining. Can you please repeat that in your regular voice?" 

 

Repeat as needed. Over and over. Without showing weakness - aka getting upset. It was the only thing that worked relatively well and stayed. They would learn not to whine at me, but I'd still hear them whine at the other instructors. 

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Whining is one of my big pet peeves, so when my boys started whining, I did my best to nip it in the bud. I would tell them that I don't understand anything when spoken in that voice and that they should try again in a normal voice. Then if they kept repeating the thing they were whining about, I would say something like, "yes, you said that and we have already addressed that."

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DS never whined (DD not so much either, she's more of a screamer) but if he did I think the acoustics of it would have gotten better when his voice started changing around 11-12, definitely by 14, he has a very deep voice.

 

In fact I'm positive neither of mine were whiners because I have a niece who is and it feels like a hot poker in my brain when she starts in.

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My 27yo is a whiner.

 

My 24yo's best friend can usually make my jaw drop right after he scrapes his own up off the floor and says, "He didn't tell you, did he?"

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My 27yo is a whiner.

 

My 24yo's best friend can usually make my jaw drop right after he scrapes his own up off the floor and says, "He didn't tell you, did he?"

 

When I read the thread initially, my mind went straight to my 38 year old brother.

 

We still call him Whiny Hiney because he never did outgrow his whining or his being a butt. 

 

But I didn't want to discourage the OP :lol: Then I saw your post and thought I'd holler out an AMEN!

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I don't allow it.  As soon as one word comes out as a whine, I shut them down.  One whine= 3 laps around the yard, then try again in a regular voice.  (Alternatives could be scrubbing grout, wiping baseboards etc. ) 

 

I agree.  You need to find an immediate consequence to shut it down.  I tend to double whatever they are whining about, or automatically say no to any request that is whined at me.  Occasionally the older ones have been forced to write out "I will address my mother in a pleasant tone of voice." X number of times.  

 

I cannot stand the wheedling voice thing, so I shut it down immediately.  

 

With very rare exceptions, the "whine" has been stamped out in our house.  Knock on wood.  

 

Also, explain to your kids why, and give them a good whining demonstration so they see exactly why it is so horribly unpleasant.  

 

And I did have to explicitly explain to one of my kids that continually reminding me of a want that I could not immediately meet (DYING of thirst when I had no water with us and we were a 15 minute walk from home) was a form of whining.  He somehow didn't realize that just because it wasn't a whiiiiiiiiney voice didn't mean it wasn't a whiney thing to say.  :-)  

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When did your boys stop whining? Like, vocally/ physically whining?

Someone please tell me that this stops.

 

When I quit listening to it??  ;)

 

Actually, I listened just long enough to see if there was an actual issue behind it (rare).  If there was, I addressed it.  If not, I redirected as best I could.  As they got into their teens, however, it got harder to redirect - usually complaining about having to do so much schoolwork.  I finally got fed up and told them they had to do it whether they wanted to do it or not, so they may as well quit wasting time complaining/whining about it .... and get to work!!  That seemed to work with my own kids (boys and girls).

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Oh no.

I have two boys (8 and 9). Not only do they still get childish attitudes but their voices still do the shrilly-whiny thing, I'm not sure if they do it consciously or not but its immediate and absolutely annoying and grating.

At 12 it is tapering off to make way for teen angst and overt aggression.

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I think it's a personality thing. I am a (trying to reform) whiner, my ds is not. 

 

Whining is a very non-effective way for children to communicate their needs. Maybe explain how non-effective you find it, and skill them up on more helpful ways to communicate. 

 

Being tired and/or overwhelmed are triggers for my own whinging. As a parent, if I saw those triggers,I'd try to deal with them and ignore the whining.

 

I think it's often a personality thing too.  I had two who were prone to whining right from the get-go, and three who never did.  Their personalities continued to develop along those lines (two who were more dramatic about everything, and three who were just very calm and even-tempered).  We worked at nipping the whining in the bud as soon as we could--  but it did need constant pruning!   :)

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