Have you shared your own college transcript with your children?

[Pegasus]

In an effort to emphasize that DH and I do not expect perfect grades in every college course, I dug out copies of the transcripts from our college days.  My DDs seem to put a lot of pressure on themselves and while I want them to do their best, I also want them to accept that sometimes their best will be less than straight A's and that is OK.

 

It seems to have worked.  Younger DD will start dual enrollment courses in the fall and was stressing over whether she would do well enough to meet our expectations.  Now she's laughing and poking a little fun at the less than stellar grades we sometimes earned.

[regentrude]

We have not.

DH's and my college transcript each consist of three grades from three comprehensive final exams covering 5 semesters of math, 8 semesters of experimental physics, and 8 semesters of theoretical physics, respectively. We got As.

There is no lesson there.

[MerryAtHope]

Not the actual transcript (I doubt I even have a copy right now!), but many experiences, both with regard to grades and otherwise. 

[The Girls' Mom]

Since I'm in college right now, they've all seen mine a lot lately..lol.  They've also seen the F I got when I was 19 and just stopped showing up for a class, and how that mistake is still following me.  (I've drummed into their heads to make sure to WITHDRAW from a class if needed, don't just not go)

[cintinative]

Since I'm in college right now, they've all seen mine a lot lately..lol.  They've also seen the F I got when I was 19 and just stopped showing up for a class, and how that mistake is still following me.  (I've drummed into their heads to make sure to WITHDRAW from a class if needed, don't just not go)

 

Totally off topic, but this is one of my recurring nightmares--being in college and flunking out of a class because I didn't go/couldn't find it and/or couldn't find the office I needed to go to withdraw.  So this sort of freaks me out. =)

[The Girls' Mom]

Totally off topic, but this is one of my recurring nightmares--being in college and flunking out of a class because I didn't go/couldn't find it and/or couldn't find the office I needed to go to withdraw.  So this sort of freaks me out. =)

I have a similar stress dream a LOT.  Especially at the beginning of a new semester.  Mine usually involve a sudden and inexplicable remodeling of the school, and an incomprehensible schedule.  Sometimes I also lose my clothes.  

[Gwen in VA]

My kids know my grades.

 

They laugh -- I attended a top university, but my high school GPA was not a 4.0. Back in the day, students could get occasional B's and still get into top colleges!

 

My kids know a lot about many of the decisions dh and I made -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. They know the why's and they know the consequences of them.

 

And my kids know ALL about my numerous bad thermo profs. (Why can't thermo profs teach?) They even know all about their infamous grading policies -- one gave all scores within one standard deviation of the mean a C.......... Since there was one student who got 100% on all assignments, including the test where the average was 32, the standard deviation was rather large. At one point it was possible to have a NEGATIVE score and get a D!

Edited May 11, 2016 by Gwen in VA

[G5052]

I haven't shared details because I want them to do their best and find their own way.

 

But they know that I almost didn't pass a few classes, and that it was a rocky road for me in graduate school because of working full-time. I still did very, very well academically overall, but I don't want them to feel that they have to be perfect.

Edited May 11, 2016 by G5052

[Penguin]

Yes, we have shared. Not actual transcripts...they are not on hand. My undergrad GPA was nothing to brag about and I went on to do very well in graduate school.

 

My husband's GPA was just average (I don't recall the number), he "only" has an undergrad degree, and he has had a very, very successful career.

 

I don't think they see much connection with their own paths, however. Maybe because times have changed so much. Maybe because we studied engineering and they are not STEM, idk.

Edited May 11, 2016 by Penguin

[Mom22ns]

Not the actual transcripts (I don't think I have a copy), but we have talked about our college experiences good and bad. DH and I each failed one class in college, retook it and got a decent grade. Our GPAs were not stellar, but have never impacted us negatively. Dh got his masters with a 4.0 much after his undergrad. We did try to relieve some of the pressure on our kids. We discuss making sure grades are good enough to accomplish what you are trying to accomplish. For ds, that is a bachelor's degree. For dd it is first getting admitted to nursing school, then the degree. Both may pursue more advanced degrees later and are aware there are GPA requirements for that.

 

I guess our position is we want them to do their best, but not get down on themselves if their best is not perfection.

[texasmama]

I haven't shared my college transcripts, though I would not mind doing so.  I have shared the information about my own college experiences, though.  I was a poor undergraduate student for the first two years.  I was a dedicated graduate student, but I made one B in a class I worked very hard in.  I think there are some lessons worth sharing in that.

[Kareni]

I shared all the report cards (samples from second grade through college) that I found in an old file.  It was actually fun for me to read through them and see all the classes listed that I'd forgotten about.  And there was that C in penmanship from fifth grade ....  My daughter enjoyed seeing them all, too.  They ranged from handwritten (Australia) to computer (US) and back to handwritten lengthy comments (Jamaica) to computer (college).

 

Regards,

Kareni

[MysteryJen]

No, but I am tempted to. But it would be to make a point that work and school are not mutually exclusive. A car is not a right or a necessity where we live. And a little ambition is not a bad thing.

 

Sigh. It might be a long summer....

[Nan in Mass]

The actual transcripts, no. I don,t know where they are. The stories, yes. They,ve heard the stories (and their lessons) from the time they were little. Stories of one,s parents and grandparent and aunts and uncles are a really important coping mechanism/comfort in our high strung family. I don,t think any of us would have lived through our teen years without them.

 

I loved seeing my father,s grades from uni when he dug them out to show me. : )

 

Nan

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I'm a first generation college grad and did not have the benefit of family history like Nan's family. I would have loved family anecdotes to get me through the college years.

 

I  was paranoid about my academics and feared being thought an imposter  so I pushed myself to do the best I could.  As a result, I set the bar pretty darned high and I realize that although both of my children are capable of doing just as well they probably won't. Neither have that competitive drive I had as a youth. They have also heard me say that there is more to life and success than academics and those traits and abilities should be fostered as well.  What good is earning straight A's when one has no/low self esteem and inadequate people skills? 

 

To answer the question in the OP, no, they haven't seen my transcript but they know how well I did.

[Sunshine State Sue]

Yes.  Ds's first semester was Calc 2, Physics, Chemistry, Intro to CS, freshman seminar, and basketball.  When he was stressed over some grade that first semester, I elaborated on my grades for my first 2 years.  I worked hard (well except for dropping physics), but it was not reflected in my grades.  My grades improved starting junior year, likely because I took more classes within my majors and fewer gen ed classes.  I also emphasized that I was happy with a 2.5 GPA because that's what he needed to maintain his academic scholarship.

Edited May 11, 2016 by Sue in St Pete

[Garga]

Not transcripts, but I told my son who struggles in math about how in 7th grade our math teacher put us into three groups: the good students, the ok students, and the ones who completely didn't get math AT ALL. Throughout the year, she'd call each group up to the board, give us a problem, and the first person who solved it in the group got to move up to the next group. The A group winner got a prize.

 

On the last day of school I begged (begged!) her, "Mrs. Zapanta, PLEASE don't make me play the group game at the board! Please!"

 

But she made us. By then, my group consisted of just me and one other boy. It was so shaming to stand there in front of a class of 32 kids and be the last two.

 

Of course, Billy got the answer right so on the last day everyone knew I was the worst math student in the class.

 

 

I told him that story about 3 weeks ago, and also about how I always stumble over knowing if .001 is 1/100 or 1/1000 and have to pause and think about it every time.

 

And ever since I told him those things, it's been like magic. He's suddenly doing much better at math and doesn't fuss and whine about it. Very strange! But I'm happy!

 

I think my story worked because up until that story, I've always been very positive about math and have never acted scared of it or said, "Oh, it's too hard" or anything. So I think he thought that I learned math easily and naturally. I didn't. I worked hard at it and now it doesn't scare me at all. I think it gave him hope to know that he could master it one day, just like I did. And it's ok if it takes some time, like it did for me.

Edited May 11, 2016 by Garga

[regentrude]

I loved seeing my father,s grades from uni when he dug them out to show me. : )

 

When I was a kid and staying with grandma, I found dad's high school report card. My dad was not a stellar student in some subjects and his grades in Latin and Russian were very bad. My grandma was mortified and tried to tell me "it was only this one year". My dad had a good laugh about it.. because he fully admitted to having been a lazy student, and it was so NOT just this one year. But Grandma could not let his image be tainted for us kids, LOL.

 

[RootAnn]

DH had a 4.0 in college (Electrical Engineering). I did not (mechanical engineering). I am perfectly willing to share my transcript - and showed it to DD#1 last week when I was digging through some records.

 

The kids have all heard my stories, good & bad, academic & social, about college. They are usually pretty impressed by how well I wrote at different ages. I'm always mortified at my spelling from elementary years. (My kids absolutely take after me in spelling!) I think it is a good thing to share your experiences with your kids. 

 

Gwen - Not all thermo profs are bad. Mine was a gem - both as a professor and as a person. He went onto be a personal friend to both DH & I until his death about 10 years ago. We both learned a ton in his class & he set me up with a great foundation for later classes.

[daveswife]

Yes, I have. They seem to think I'm some kind of genius and I have no idea why. When they saw I graduated from college with a 3.45 GPA, there was this realization of  "Oh, that's why mom says to just do the best job we can and not worry so much about getting all A grades. She really means it!" They are much better students and have much higher grades than I ever did. I'm so proud of them!

Edited May 11, 2016 by daveswife

[Miss Mousie]

Not transcripts, but I told my son who struggles in math about how in 7th grade our math teacher put us into three groups: the good students, the ok students, and the ones who completely didn't get math AT ALL.

<snip>

 

:huh:   :crying:   What a sad story!  Hugs to your 7th grade self!

 

And :hurray:  to you for working so hard to overcome it.

[Miss Mousie]

I haven't shared my transcript - not sure where it is.  But I know DS has heard a few stories from DH and me about various aspects of college.  He is, shall we say, not in danger of overambition ( :D ) as it is....

 

I'm sure he'll hear a lot more as we get closer to application season.

 

[bugs]

 

 

And my kids know ALL about my numerous bad thermo profs. (Why can't thermo profs teach?) They even know all about their infamous grading policies -- one gave all scores within one standard deviation of the mean a C.......... Since there was one student who got 100% on all assignments, including the test where the average was 32, the standard deviation was rather large. At one point it was possible to have a NEGATIVE score and get a D!

 

My thermo prof thought he was helping us differentiate between enthalpy and entropy by consistently emphasizing the first syllable in both (ENthalpy, ENtropy).  What a goof.

 

I have not showed my kids my college grades - I want them to have higher standards :tongue_smilie: .  But, I have taught/explained to them that tenacity can take you far.

[daijobu]

 

Of course, Billy got the answer right so on the last day everyone knew I was the worst math student in the class.

 

 

I told him that story about 3 weeks ago, and also about how I always stumble over knowing if .001 is 1/100 or 1/1000 and have to pause and think about it every time.

 

And ever since I told him those things, it's been like magic. He's suddenly doing much better at math and doesn't fuss and whine about it. Very strange! But I'm happy!

 

I think my story worked because up until that story, I've always been very positive about math and have never acted scared of it or said, "Oh, it's too hard" or anything. So I think he thought that I learned math easily and naturally. I didn't. I worked hard at it and now it doesn't scare me at all. I think it gave him hope to know that he could master it one day, just like I did. And it's ok if it takes some time, like it did for me.

 

What a horrid experience!  

 

I'm a fan of James Tanton's solutions to AMC problems.  He always begins his solutions with "Step 1.  Read the question, have an emotional reaction to it, take a deep breath, and then reread the question."  I think he's right in that it's okay to begin by saying, "Whoa!  I have no idea what this means or how to solve it."  If you aren't having this reaction, then the problem is too easy, lol!  

 

And for the record, I often need to look twice, or count zeros to the left of the decimal or convert to a power of 10.  

[elegantlion]

Since I am currently a college student and ds just finished his first year, we do discuss grades. In high school (homeschooled) he didn't care about grades, not sure he still does. Final grades came out this morning and I'm a bit miffed, he got all As and I ended up with As and one B.  :glare: I'm the perfectionist.  :coolgleamA: I am happy for him and he'll rub it in once he finds out (he's in Japan and I emailed his grades to him, still haven't heard back). 

[Sunshine State Sue]

They are much better students and have much higher grades than I ever did. I'm so proud of them!

I always knew ds had the potential, but he never really applied himself before college.  I used to describe him as bright, but unmotivated. 

 

In college, he's a frickin' genius.  After the initial shock of college level academics first semester, ds has turned into a highly motivated student.  He is a much better student and has much higher grades than I did.  I had to drop out of the college of engineering because I really wasn't prepared, but he is bright and capable.  I used to just feel relieved and amazed.  More and more lately, I'm feeling proud.

[katilac]

I just came across mine while looking for something else. I'm amazed at what a red hot mess it is.  

 

The grades aren't stellar but aren't bad, except for getting a D in math and failing badminton of all things, but there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to most of the classes I took. Exploration is good but my transcript looks utterly random (well, I guess it was). Our advisors pretty much glanced over our planned schedule to make sure we didn't have conflicts, there was no actual advice offered. They did not have to know anything about your major. It was a job for tired profs about to retire. 

 

I'm glad that dd's college approaches it differently. In addition to your regular advisor, you can meet with exploratory advisors, who will help you figure out potential majors and minors and a road path for getting there. Her freshman advisor asked questions that showed she actually knew what was going on, and they even had a second person look over the schedule. 

 

I'd share it if asked. I don't think it's occurred to them that I'd still have those clay tablets from ancient times, lol. They do know I regret my lack of focus   and my lack of knowledge about the college process in general. And they know I failed the first semester of high school algebra, I think that's enough to make them feel better, lol. 

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I got a copy of my student records last time I was on campus. Not only transcript but the application and the admissions note sheet (most of which is in cryptic code but has certain things circled).

 

I had forgotten how many Cs and Ds I had. A lot of courses were a struggle but I'd forgotten how many. There is actually a thread on my class Facebook page about why one classmate is proud of his 2.9. It was one of his grad school admissions essays.

[FaithManor]

Yes, LOL. And they get a look of horror on their faces. 

 

They see that I transferred in 12 credits of DE, one AP, and then CLEP tested a class. Despite all of that, in order to get all of my required performance groups and lessons in for credit, my first semester was 17 credits, and every semester after was 20-21. They noted that I had one B that first year and it was PE. :lol:  That describes me in a nutshell right there! It also gave them insight into why I am pretty much against them taking more than 16 or at the most 17 credits per semester and would rather see them take a summer term course or two if necessary in order to graduate in four years.