If you were living another life

[Just Another Jen]

What would you be doing?

You know- if you had taken a different turn on the road somewhere?

I don't mean in a regretful way- just different.

I blogged mine. I'd still have the same family (which means my DH would have taken a different turn as well so we'd meet over there.) We'd just be over there and I'd homeschool and own that sweet book shop.

Edited September 29, 2008 by rivendellmom

[Lizzie in Ma]

What would you be doing?

You know- if you had taken a different on the road somewhere?

I don't mean in a regretful way- just different.

I blogged mine. I'd still have the same family (which means my DH would have taken a different turn as well so we'd meet over there.) We'd just be over there and I'd homeschool and own that sweet book shop.

 

Wow, yours sounds just like mine! There was the sweetest bookshop where we used to live that I wanted to make a life with. It was an old mill and there were books everywhere and comfy couches and nooks and crannies and coffee and a place to live upstairs and a woodstove, and out the windows were rivers and meadows. And there were cats too. I would want my exact same family but oh how I wish that had been possible.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I'd be single and living in a tiny, sparsely furnished place (except for the bookshelves) with a big garden and chickens. Boy that sounds good today.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I don't know. Except for finances right now, I love my life!!! Probably, I would have made some different decisions regarding money that may, or for that matter, may not have any bearing on our current situation.

 

Other than that, I don't know that I'd change much else.

[elegantlion]

I love your bookstore!

 

Dh and I would have married and instead of buying a house we would have traveled the world. We would have done freelance writing and photography to support ourselves.

 

We would now be semi-retired and living on some secluded island where the native birds sing each morning and the dog plays in the ocean. Ds would still be homeschooled, but we'd have to wipe the sand out of the books from doing school on the beach. The cat would chase lizards in the house.

 

I would own clothing that would air dry quickly in a hot humid climate. My house would have been built by my dh and exude character, charm and finally be decorated without resale value in mind.

 

Dh could finally use his wordworking skills to build furniture and hand carved doors that American tourists would shell out big bucks for.

 

Okay, I like that, thanks I needed that this morning.

[Mom2boys]

I would still have my same family, but I would be living in Seattle, or Europe, with enough money to fly back to Ohio whenever my parents needed us.

[shell in SC]

I'd either be a outdoorsy, climber type in the Colorado Rockies or married to a bum.

 

DH is definitely the best thing that ever happened to me!!!!

 

shell

[WTMindy]

I love my life and it is hard to imagine a different one. I guess I'd choose to be missionaries, or teach in a missionary school somewhere.

[Just Another Jen]

Paula,

Your island school sounds good too. I imagined myself sipping tea on the many rainy days in England. But then I read yours and I thought about nice chilled tropical drinks. Maybe in my "different" life I'd split the year between the two. :)

[TammyinTN]

The only change I would make to my life right now would be to have a big old home out in the village like the one we had before this move. Other than that...I'm good! :D

[HRAAB]

I can't imagine life with my dh and dc, so they would still be in it. In my dreams I'm living outside a small village where everyone walk or rides bikes. A small, quaint cottage with plenty of bookshelves. I have my garden, orchard, chickens, milk cow. Sheep too. It's quiet. I can't hear cars or planes. Things move slower. Time seems more natural, not so much in this fast forward mode. I would still homeschool. And we'd find time for tea every afternoon.

 

Janet

[Year Round Mom]

There would be a slightly larger age gap between baby #2 and baby #3!!! 2 in the same age range I can handle; 3 is just ridiculous!

[mysticamethyst]

I am honestly not sure where I would be; can bet it wouldn't be good though; I had a very troubled, bumpy childhood, a bad teenager. I was very young when I got married and really had no direction. Having children gave me a sense of direction and where I wanted my life to go. I would like to say I would have picked up my camera, and traveled, living off what I could make here and there. But, I didn't learn to even use a camera till my oldest son was born. I am happy with where my life is except maybe for our finances, but then those can always be better for everyone, right. :001_smile:

[cathmom]

I'd be a married German professor with several children.

[Julie in CA]

Do you mean a different lifestyle, or a real choice that I've made that I would have made differently? I don't have any regrets about the choices I've made that led me to where I am, but in terms of lifestyle...

 

I live in a rural farm area where it's hot and dusty. I am married to a farmer. I have 5 dc, teach them at home, and pretty much stick close to home, enjoying my free time gardening/landscaping, or reading.

 

I could see how I could have ended up married to a "sensitive" man, living a life in someplace like San Francisco, where there were more opportunities for cultural enrichment. I love SF from an architectural standpoint, and also think I would be better suited to the weather by the coast. I probably wouldn't have more than 2 kids if I lived a lifestyle different than I do now, so that would be different.

 

I'm quite sure that I would have ended up in a job that indulged my creativity more fully. Probably interior design or maybe still education--but only educating in non-traditional ways. Certainly not as a standard teacher in a classroom.

 

Rather than monthly grocery shopping in bulk and loading my Suburban to haul it all home, I can see myself walking a city block or two to a small market to buy fresh bread/veggies every couple of days or maybe even every day.

 

With all of that said though, I'm just where I belong!

 

My dh cannot even *imagine* the hell it would be to live a lifestyle such as I described above.

 

Good question though! Thanks for asking. It gave me time to really consider what the alternatives might have been. I would actually love to incorporate some of the things from that other life into the one I currently have, but they're just too disparate. I'm happy where I am. :001_smile:

[Harriet Vane]

Once in England, it is likely I would have just stayed, met someone, married, settled there.

[swellmomma]

I would have my masters in Psychology working as a school counsellor. Own my own home. Be married with kids, though since I would never have married my ex-husband I guess my older 2 would not be here. For me that path was close, I was in university studying psychology and do very very well in it. WHen I met my ex at the bar one night and went home with him only to get pregnant. I moved in with him teh day I found out at 5.5 weeks along even though we didn't know each other pretty much. I dropped out of university to raise my son and then my dd who I got pg with just weeks after ds was born. I never imagined that after 2 kids we would split. I have no regrets and if I could still have my same children just with us in a better financial situation, and with a spouse it would be perfect

[3lilreds in NC]

I would be a speech pathologist working with children somewhere.

 

Actually, since I would still have dh and all three lovely lil reds, I would be homeschooling them, but would have my master's degree in auditory and speech sciences so I *could* be a speech pathologist if I wanted to. :D

 

I will be a speech pathologist someday. I just decided to put my degree on hold because I knew we were going to have kids. Had I known how long it would take to *have* the kids, I would have gone ahead and gotten my degree. Ah, live and learn. :)

[Riverfront Headmistress]

I'd have my pre-kid body back.

[Kate in Arabia]

Before I got married I had wanted to join the Foreign Service; I took the Foreign Service exam and missed the passing cut off by one point. :glare:

 

So life went on, and then just a few years ago I got a notice from the State Dept that they had uncovered a problem with the exams that had been administered for a certain spread of time, and that everyone who had missed by just a point or two from that time was now considered to have passed. I was invited to continue the process, next was a personal interview and oral assessment. I still had a twinge of wanting to do it, but by then I had kids and was happy being a SAHM. It would have meant a radical change in our lives.

 

But my dream has always been to live an international life, and I managed to get that but in a different way than I had first intended ;)

[JFSinIL]

If I had not declined the free semester in Paris working at the film archive there (hey, I knew no French!) I'd be a major film archivist in the tiny world of, well, film archival folks. Living (probably) in or just outside Hollywood, certainly not wed to a Cubs fan who will never leave Illinois until the Cubs win the World Series (is this the year? hubby is clutching his tickets, eyes glowing and heart pounding) and hence not parent to the crop of of four kids currently generating enough laundry to choke several horses.

[Karenciavo]

We would live in bright blue house, on the coast, just outside of Lunenburg, NS. My dh would have time to paint and would have a gallery in Lunenburg. We'd have a few animals: chickens, sheep, maybe a cow. We'd also have a small boat and a few lobster pots.

[Just Another Jen]

Karen,

Beautiful! maybe we should start another thread of dream houses.

 

jen

[clwcain]

Had I not met the woman I married and returned the practice of the Catholic Faith, I would have drowned myself in the Adriatic in 1997.

 

Had my wife and I not gotten married, I would have gone to seminary. Although whether I would have been ordained a priest or not, I have no idea. And, while I would have initially sought out the Jesuits, I'm not sure I would have stayed in formation with them. But that's a whole 'nother topic of speculation... :D

 

Had we gotten married (as we did) but been more averse to starting a family, homeschooling, etc., I would still be working in the entertainment industry.

 

ETA: If we were childless by misfortune, we would have expatriated to Rome, Italy by now.

Edited September 29, 2008 by clwcain
one last thought...

[Sarah CB]

I love my life and am incredibly grateful for every aspect of it, but if I could have another life and I had to do it differently, I'd be single or I'd have a SAHD for a dh and I would have a degree in international relations with a specialty in Russian history (and maybe even language). I would work as an independent consultant on Russian affairs.

[Remudamom]

Eeks, I can't imagine anything good. If dh and I hadn't married, and I had stayed in my home town I imagine I'd be caught up in the country club/junior league group, worried about what type of plastic surgery I was going to get next, and if my hair appointment was going to conflict with lunch out.

 

Possibly divorced and watching my children smooze it up with a new mother that's their age? Desperately trying to keep up appearances, live in the right neighborhood, throw the right amount of luncheons, pay back dinners and social commitments?

 

Nah, I'm happy here. Thank God.

[Mom to Aly]

I would have married my ex, because I have to have my dd, but I would have been much smarter in my marriage, left him, and have much more money now! Not taken the emotional and verbal abuse, not let him tear me down. I would have written the same book, pushed it harder, and written more, hopefully have been published by now.

 

Just taken better care of me, had much better finances, taken care of my life in hand long before I did. Woken up, long before I was forced to.

 

But my dd would be the same--I wouldn't change that for anything. She just wouldn't have had to put up with any of the crap her dad put her through. Ever.

[Mad Jenny Flint]

"And we'd find time for tea every afternoon."

 

This is so exciting, because you CAN do this. One small change every year builds me the life I so earnestly desire.... I just have to be brave enough to go for it, a little more each day.

[Plaid Dad]

I would be a monk, probably a Benedictine.

[Just Another Jen]

Gosh- thanks for all the responses. You all have got me thinking. I think that Jenny is right- there is a lot of this that can be done now. I've spent so much time-thinking well after this crisis I'd like to/ or I'll start _____. This was a great reminder that small changes do count. I'm such a all or nothing type.

Now, if the economy will hold out long enough for me to sell this house....

 

See I'm doing it again-already. :confused:

[Jami]

I suppose if not for marriage or if we hadn't decide to start a family and have me at home full-time, I would have continued my graduate degree in history. I did about 2/3rds of my coursework for my MA, but decided not to pursue PhD studies once dh finished his degree and found his first job. I'm not sure I would have even enjoyed a career in academia, but it's what I was good at at the time and I probably would have stayed on that track. I would have wanted to do some of my coursework abroad in England, since British history was my focus. And maybe I would have stayed there indefinitely. :001_smile:

 

It's so hard to imagine doing something other than *this*.

 

I didn't imagine myself marrying young (at 21) or having children necessarily. In high school I was more likely to imagine having that PhD or going to law school or working for the State Department. But once we married and began to talk about our future children and we started reading about homeschooling and classical education, so many things sort of fell into place for me. It's a good fit. (most days)

[Kelli in TN]

Honestly? Truthfully?

 

I would have continued on the same disasterous path, self-destructing all along the way. I can't imagine how low I would have sunk. It would have been dreadful.

 

Once there was a baby to think about everything changed.

[Heather in Neverland]

I would be "Carrie Bradshaw" and live in Manhattan. I would dress funky and carry expensive purses and go to trendy restaurants with my BFFs. I would be surrounded with cultural experiences, travel extensively, go to poetry readings, etc.

 

or

 

I would live as a missionary working with children in the villages of Africa.

 

or

 

I would live like Little House on the Prairie (but with indoor plumbing and electricity)...simple, quiet, happy with lots of children.

 

I can imagine lots of different ways to live life. It's too bad we only get to do this once!

[Peso]

Nun

[Trivium Academy]

I'd be a journalist and my dream was to work in Australia which would mean a different dh. Hmmm. Can I keep the kids? :P I'm still learning about myself so I wouldn't want to go back and take a different road.

[kalanamak]

I'd be a social worker in the midwest, married to a professor of science of some sort. I'd have short hair (it is windy back there) and crabgrass (my folks hated crabgrass lawns, but I always liked them). I don't know if I'd have kids. We would spend winter break in Mexico, and have folk art in the house. Hubby would probably leave me in middle age, and I'd be unnecessarily bitter, but, in the long run, probably better off without him.

 

I was thinking of this couple the other day. I was 20, they were in their late 40's, and had adopted 3 boys from Central America. Hubby left her for something young and thin, heavens knows what she saw in him, for he was short and dumpy. The couple had been the "twins"....same tastes, long trips, same hair color, same figure, and he ran off. The wife went a bit mad, and then I moved. I always wondered what finally happened to them. I thought them lovely as a couple.

[sweetbaby]

In higschool, I dreamed of becoming a fashion designer and was proposed with an opportunity to model which I turned down so I would have been a traveling Top Model. LOL I would have had my own clothing line also, of course.

 

In college, my ideas changed so I had my heart set on becoming a teacher then later changed to nursing. Now I'm at home teaching. Go figure! :lol:

 

So I guess I'm on the right path.