Why is {family member} obsessed with "changing classes"?

[PeachyDoodle]

Delayed double post. Something weird happening with my Internet. Carry on. :)

Edited January 26, 2016 by PeachyDoodle

[PrairieSong]

Funny thing, I went to a public high school and never went to prom. Some of my homeschooled teens have been to prom.

 

Also, once someone said to me that it is good for kids to go to school so they can experience a few bad teachers. Seriously? You WANT some of your kid's teachers to be bad?

[redsquirrel]

Funny thing, I went to a public high school and never went to prom. Some of my homeschooled teens have been to prom.

 

Also, once someone said to me that it is good for kids to go to school so they can experience a few bad teachers. Seriously? You WANT some of your kid's teachers to be bad?

 

I've heard that one as well.  weird

[Slojo]

And here I was expecting this thread to be about social climbing (changing ones socioeconomic class).

 

What a weird and rather pointless worry.

 

I did, too! LOL! (I was thinking: Oh, this is going to be good...)

 

The weirdest was: Worried about PE and whether they were going to learn their times tables on time (whatever that means) -- this worry for my 4th grader who is tackling pre-algebra this year. 

[Guest]

My SIL was so sorry for DD because she "wouldn't get to pick out a special backpack."

 

Actually, my kids all had backpacks, in part because we were in co-op. Granted, no, we did not have to worry about picking a "cool" (i.e., expensive trendy) new one every year. This SIL is obsessed with brands and clothes and accessories, so I guess this was a terrible deprivation. ;)

 

Even though my college DD does have a nice backpack this year, it is only the third backpack she has owned AND I urged her to get a Jansport because they have a lifetime warrenty. :D

[knoxinsox]

"You should be sending them to school so they will be exposed to all the sickness, so they will build immunity!"    

 

Nope, we've never built immunity.  We just have have cranky kids with runny noses who can't go anywhere because they've been sick or are sick.  All winter long. Rinse and repeat.  BTDT.

[Reflections]

OMG Peer pressure and bullying (pro bullying, y'all!) are SO important for typical childhood development. Can't learn to be a man without them. ANd the sooner the better!

 

We got this one too. 

[Miss Tick]

Also, once someone said to me that it is good for kids to go to school so they can experience a few bad teachers. Seriously? You WANT some of your kid's teachers to be bad?

I've heard something like that, too. My thought was "does that require a whole YEAR of their life at a time?"

[catz]

Changing classes?  Hmm ... interesting.  To me that brings to mind executive function skills - like organizing your work.  And also getting to work with a variety of people.  There are many ways to bring that to a homeschool kid and honestly in more valuable ways.  Some junior high kids also lag with executive function, especially when puberty is at it's peak and are much easier to hone after a huge growth spurt.  And just saying "changing classes" as if it's life critical just sounds dumb.  Explain yourself human - what is exactly so critical that must be gained by changing classes with an 11 year old.  Who knows what they were actually thinking. 

 

I have a 6th grade homeschooler who's thriving.  Executive function stuff is natural for her.  She does many outside classes and people pull me aside regularly and tell me that she's a delight to work with.  And I lock her in the basement 23 hours a day!  ;)

[fdrinca]

I've not had many objections to homeschooling, but I did get this weird interaction while MIL was visiting a few weeks ago.

 

DS8 and DD7 came home from gymnastics. It's late, and they always are a little...emotional?...when they come home. Nerves are close to the surface. 

 

Both kiddo found themselves in tears because of the treatment of their little brother by DS8's teammate. (Little brother had written an odd sort of note for the teammate, and teammate made fun of the note, but not in front of little brother. Could have been MUCH worse.)

 

MIL's reply? If they went to school, they'd get used to kids being mean to each other.

 

No thank you!

[Guest]

My dd got the, "Oh, it's too bad you missed out on the field trip!" gig from the child of the then-superintendent of schools. Dd told her that she would have been able to go as she was in London that week.

 

I got the, "You're denying the ps students of your passion for teaching. It's too bad the students in ps don't have the best teachers!" from a retired state senator. Um, maybe you should hire better teachers! I pointed out that my first responsibility was to my OWN students.

LOL, yeah, I've heard that one, too. I use to volunterily assist with the first grade students at PS, before I HSed my kids. So, we parents who stop volunteering at school so we can homeschool our own kids are hogging all that committment and dedication for our own kids. Tsk, tsk.

[LibraryLover]

I'm not going to say I am an Oscar- winning hser, but when my always-hs'd child went to public high school for 9th grade, the 'changing classes' thing was novel and brilliant to her. She loved it.  lol

 

Edited January 27, 2016 by LibraryLover

[Katy]

So I guess I'm the only one that assumed this was about socioeconomic classes, rather than class rooms?

[PrairieSong]

So I guess I'm the only one that assumed this was about socioeconomic classes, rather than class rooms?

No, you're not. I thought it was about socioeconomic classes, too, and so did some others. See above.

[PrairieSong]

I've not had many objections to homeschooling, but I did get this weird interaction while MIL was visiting a few weeks ago.

 

DS8 and DD7 came home from gymnastics. It's late, and they always are a little...emotional?...when they come home. Nerves are close to the surface.

 

Both kiddo found themselves in tears because of the treatment of their little brother by DS8's teammate. (Little brother had written an odd sort of note for the teammate, and teammate made fun of the note, but not in front of little brother. Could have been MUCH worse.)

 

MIL's reply? If they went to school, they'd get used to kids being mean to each other.

 

No thank you!

What I don't get about this is that, to some people, bullying is "normal" and kids should learn to deal with meanness. But in the adult world it is called harassment or battery or assault, something you could lose your job over and/or be arrested for, not something "normal" that will toughen you up.

[Jenny in Florida]

OMG Peer pressure and bullying (pro bullying, y'all!) are SO important for typical childhood development. Can't learn to be a man without them. ANd the sooner the better!

 

Yep, I still remember the blank looks when someone at church suggested to me with great confidence, "Well, they have to learn to deal with mean people eventually, don't you think?"

 

And I answered, "No."

 

Finally, one of the three or four moms with whom I had been talking murmured something like, "Oh, you don't? Well, then . . . " and wandered away.

 

Now, of course, my son managed to experience bullying and peer pressure even without going to school, sometimes even on the playground at that very church. So, homeschooling him didn't get in the way of those very important developmental experiences.

Edited January 27, 2016 by Jenny in Florida

[Katy]

"You should be sending them to school so they will be exposed to all the sickness, so they will build immunity!"    

 

Nope, we've never built immunity.  We just have have cranky kids with runny noses who can't go anywhere because they've been sick or are sick.  All winter long. Rinse and repeat.  BTDT.

 

Yep, even homeschooling doesn't stop sick kids from going to church, or grocery store clerks from coughing all over your groceries (I'm certain that's how I caught this cold).

[heartlikealion]

I went to public school. I did go to prom (I think my junior year. Junior/senior prom). It was pretty uneventful. Of course this is probably because my platonic guy friend was my date and he refused to dance. Anyway, don't some homeschoolers hold their own prom?

 

Rotating classes had its perks, but there is also a sense of anxiety if you forget where you are supposed to go and when. I occasionally have nightmares where I am late to class and don't know where I am supposed to be going.

[PeacefulChaos]

So, ITA that these are all really weird things for other people to bring up as to why you shouldn't homeschool lol, but.....

 

Some of them are still things that I personally remember fondly, so I'm kind of like, aw, darn, they won't have that experience.  I know that even if they went to PS they wouldn't have the same experience as me either way, but Idk... I can't say that a tiny part of me just loved all of high school so much that I think it's a little bit too bad my kids won't get any of that.  Please understand, though, I'm not saying this is anything that would make me decide not to homeschool - just a bit of an, aw, darn, oh well moment.  You know what I mean?  

For example:

Because, like, I loved having a locker.  I remember getting a locker in middle school and thinking it was awesome.  And then as a senior I got the locker that had been 'passed down' from one friend to another over the last several years.  

I didn't mind changing classes, and liked having different people in each class (though the idea of the OP's relative that this is something that needs to be practiced for years is :lol: - it's quite easily picked up in college, I assure you!!   :D ).  

I went to prom and loved it.  I know there are homeschool groups who have proms, even locally, but as of right now (could change in high school, you never know), these aren't people we know, so I don't see why we'd be involved in it.  

Same with graduation.  Our state homeschool convention includes a graduation ceremony and I'd really like for my kids to take part in it.  There's a local one, too, but again - not really involved with those people lol.  

 

That's just my thinking.  It's NOT that I think these are valid reasons for anyone to give - if they are to someone, they clearly have different priorities than I do.  But I'd be lying if I said there weren't things like this that I thought about occasionally.

 

And I'm not trying to derail or argue with anyone or anything. :)  I'm just sort of talking.   :p lol

"She will never learn to ride on the bus"!!!!

 

:lol:   And you know, little kids have such an obsession with buses!!  What is up with that?!  

But seriously, though, does one really need to 'learn' how to ride the bus?  I mean, it isn't like riding the school bus is adequate training for riding the bus in the sense of public transportation - they don't stop on your block specifically for you to get off and wait to make sure mom and dad are home!!!   :D

 

 

 

Both Link and Astro did go to PS for awhile, so they both had lunch boxes and backpacks.   ;)  Though I still kind of want to buy them new ones for no specific reason, because I find some I think they'd like that are cool.  But then... why?  lol  I always say we'll use them for traveling, but...

 

What I don't get about this is that, to some people, bullying is "normal" and kids should learn to deal with meanness. But in the adult world it is called harassment or battery or assault, something you could lose your job over and/or be arrested for, not something "normal" that will toughen you up.

 

My only guess is that some people seem to think that learning to deal with other personalities and stuff can't happen unless it's in a school situation.  Because the fact of the matter is, there are people in the world who are rude and/or spiteful to others, and chances are, everyone is going to have a run in with someone that isn't just 'casual rudeness' (between strangers, like a person being rude in line but never seeing you again, etc), but that is someone they know and it's a bit of a 'thing'.  I think these people think that in order to learn how to handle oneself in conflict like that, they need the practice of years of PS to get them there. 

I don't agree with them.  But that's my guess - they really do see it as real-world training.   :)

[theelfqueen]

I did, too! LOL! (I was thinking: Oh, this is going to be good...)

 

The weirdest was: Worried about PE and whether they were going to learn their times tables on time (whatever that means) -- this worry for my 4th grader who is tackling pre-algebra this year. 

 

At least this would be more interesting for someone to be obsessive about!

[theelfqueen]

I'd have to point out that my children have all figured out how to go from calculus class to physics class to orchestra to work to sports, all as high school students. Gosh, they even have to CHANGE BUILDINGS at the college sometimes, and sometimes even require driving! GASP!  :lol:  Without even the advantage of practicing since middle school. 

 

Well obviously this is because your children are exceptional.

 

[Guest]

My weird familial response was "...but what about 280 days of school?"

 

Once I pointed out that the public schools set this requirement NOT for the purposes of educational competence, but as a union delimiter of teacher hours-at-work, he got pretty quiet.

 

Follow the money.

[Guest]

I'd have to point out that my children have all figured out how to go from calculus class to physics class to orchestra to work to sports, all as high school students. Gosh, they even have to CHANGE BUILDINGS at the college sometimes, and sometimes even require driving! GASP! :lol: Without even the advantage of practicing since middle school.

I will admit, though, that when I was very young, I attended a tiny private school. I remember learning that colleges had different buildings one may go to, even in the same day! I remember thinking that seemed so intimidating, like, "How do they know where to go? How is it they don't get lost all the time?" :D

[Cinder]

I will admit, though, that when I was very young, I attended a tiny private school. I remember learning that colleges had different buildings one may go to, even in the same day! I remember thinking that seemed so intimidating, like, "How do they know where to go? How is it they don't get lost all the time?" :D

 

This reminds me--I nearly got lost on my first day of high school. I went to a large-ish private school and not only did we have to go to different buildings, but some classes were on the upper campus and some on the lower. You could take the school bus from lower to upper, but if you were going from upper to lower you had to walk. Back then we had 10-minute breaks between classes to accommodate this. All freshmen were required to go through orientation during the summer where we met some of our new classmates--though we already knew most--and took a tour of the campus. I was amazed at how big the place was. A few weeks later it's the first day of school and my first opportunity to walk from upper campus to lower. I ended up just following the crowd which, thankfully, was generally headed the same way. You see, there were 2 main routes for going down and on this route--because at least I remembered that Spanish was down this route, not the other--about halfway along is a section of dorms for boarding students. And when a few students went *that* way I wasn't sure if I was supposed to go that way too or this way with most of the other kids. Thankfully, *this* way turned out to be right and I learned later about the dorms. My college was actually easier to navigate so I never got lost there. :p

[PeachyDoodle]

So, ITA that these are all really weird things for other people to bring up as to why you shouldn't homeschool lol, but.....

 

Some of them are still things that I personally remember fondly, so I'm kind of like, aw, darn, they won't have that experience.  I know that even if they went to PS they wouldn't have the same experience as me either way, but Idk... I can't say that a tiny part of me just loved all of high school so much that I think it's a little bit too bad my kids won't get any of that.  Please understand, though, I'm not saying this is anything that would make me decide not to homeschool - just a bit of an, aw, darn, oh well moment.  You know what I mean?  

For example:

Because, like, I loved having a locker.  I remember getting a locker in middle school and thinking it was awesome.  And then as a senior I got the locker that had been 'passed down' from one friend to another over the last several years.  

I didn't mind changing classes, and liked having different people in each class (though the idea of the OP's relative that this is something that needs to be practiced for years is :lol: - it's quite easily picked up in college, I assure you!!   :D ).  

I went to prom and loved it.  I know there are homeschool groups who have proms, even locally, but as of right now (could change in high school, you never know), these aren't people we know, so I don't see why we'd be involved in it.  

Same with graduation.  Our state homeschool convention includes a graduation ceremony and I'd really like for my kids to take part in it.  There's a local one, too, but again - not really involved with those people lol.  

 

That's just my thinking.  It's NOT that I think these are valid reasons for anyone to give - if they are to someone, they clearly have different priorities than I do.  But I'd be lying if I said there weren't things like this that I thought about occasionally.

 

 

I totally get what you're saying. I think about those things too sometimes -- experiences I had growing up in school that my kids won't have. But then I think about the experiences they're having now that I never had the chance to have. This is what's normal for them. These are the memories they will look back on fondly (at least, I hope so). We all have our personal set of experiences, good and bad, and they are what make our lives unique.

 

I will admit, though, that when I was very young, I attended a tiny private school. I remember learning that colleges had different buildings one may go to, even in the same day! I remember thinking that seemed so intimidating, like, "How do they know where to go? How is it they don't get lost all the time?" :D

 

Heck, that terrified me! When I was in high school. After having changed classes for eight whole years! Obviously my extensive class-changing training did nothing to prepare me for the gauntlet that is college life. How did I ever earn a degree?? :D

[Garga]

When people make these statements, they are remembering the things they loved about school: riding the bus, changing classes and that sense of a fresh new thing happening every hour or so and talking to friends in the hall, talking and joking with friends at lunch, getting a brand new bag and lunchbox every year. These are the fun memories. I remember those things and loved those things, too. They want their loved-one to experience them.

 

But people tend to forget all the bad parts about school. Like the poster above who said that her mother remembered how wonderful lunch was, but she only remembers it because it was the only bright spot in the day.

 

When people say these things, it's ok to understand where they're coming from: that they think the kids are missing out on something awesome. If you're talking to someone reasonable and if you feel like discussing it (and most of the time I wouldn't), you can say, "Oh, I know--lunch was the best! And no, my kids won't have that particular experience. Instead, they're going to have different experiences that they love. And if we're doing this thing right at all, the experiences they have will trump what we had in school." But only do that with loving, kind people, like grandma. Not with shrill, "you're making a mistake" homeschool hating people.

 

When people say, "But how will they learn to deal with mean people/bullies/bad teachers?", I understand their point. There are soooo many co-workers, managers, bosses, etc that will be mean, bad, bullies. How do you deal with a co-worker who doesn't knock you down and take your lunch money...but they do steal credit for your ideas? How do you deal with an unreasonable boss who has complete control over your job?

 

I don't think you have to have a bad teacher or deal with a bully to handle these things later in life, but some people do. They feel that if you have had to work around a bad teacher, you'll know how to work around a bad boss, etc.

[heartlikealion]

I wonder if the "bad" teacher comment actually meant strict/challenging? But bad? Nobody needs that, really.

 

Edited: I did not mean to imply that homeschool teachers can't be challenging, etc. I just meant I wonder what people meant with that comment.

Edited January 27, 2016 by heartlikealion

[FaithManor]

Well, at a couple of parochial schools I taught in many moons ago, the kids did not change classes much, and well, they did just fine in college. Sheesh. Not hard to learn there.

 

If I had a quarter for every time I have heard, "What about prom?", I would be able to buy myself a nice facial. People still feel sorry for my kids for never attending one, and my kids all think prom is a crazy waste of money, LOL.

[Guest]

When people say, "But how will they learn to deal with mean people/bullies/bad teachers?", I understand their point. There are soooo many co-workers, managers, bosses, etc that will be mean, bad, bullies. How do you deal with a co-worker who doesn't knock you down and take your lunch money...but they do steal credit for your ideas? How do you deal with an unreasonable boss who has complete control over your job?

 

I don't think you have to have a bad teacher or deal with a bully to handle these things later in life, but some people do. They feel that if you have had to work around a bad teacher, you'll know how to work around a bad boss, etc.

Yes, but here is what I said a couple of times to others who raised that objection: simply having endured it does not necessarily mean a person developed healthy, adequate tactics for dealing with douchebags. Often, ways that an adult person behaves dysfunctionally harkens back to mean and despicable things that they were teased about or bullied about in childhood. I have seen more than my share of grown twenty-somethings (indeed, I was one) who are hypersensitive about some aspect of themselves because they were ridiculed so much as a kid.

 

So, simply being exposed to crappy things does not equate to a person devising good coping skills or dealing-with-awful-people skills as an adult. A good case can be made that growing into an adult who manages nasty people well would be in spite of childhood experiences, not because of them. If this were not so, then the most relationship-savvy adults would be those who were the most abused and poorly treated, but we know that the opposite is true.

[Chris in VA]

Yes, but here is what I said a couple of times to others who raised that objection: simply having endured it does not necessarily mean a person developed healthy, adequate tactics for dealing with douchebags. Often, ways that an adult person behaves dysfunctionally harkens back to mean and despicable things that they were teased about or bullied about in childhood. I have seen more than my share of grown twenty-somethings (indeed, I was one) who are hypersensitive about some aspect of themselves because they were ridiculed so much as a kid.

 

So, simply being exposed to crappy things does not equate to a person devising good coping skills or dealing-with-awful-people skills as an adult. A good case can be made that growing into an adult who manages nasty people well would be in spite of childhood experiences, not because of them. If this were not so, then the most relationship-savvy adults would be those who were the most abused and poorly treated, but we know that the opposite is true.

 

I cannot like this enough.

[greenbeanmama]

So, ITA that these are all really weird things for other people to bring up as to why you shouldn't homeschool lol, but.....

 

Some of them are still things that I personally remember fondly, so I'm kind of like, aw, darn, they won't have that experience.  I know that even if they went to PS they wouldn't have the same experience as me either way, but Idk... I can't say that a tiny part of me just loved all of high school so much that I think it's a little bit too bad my kids won't get any of that.  Please understand, though, I'm not saying this is anything that would make me decide not to homeschool - just a bit of an, aw, darn, oh well moment.  You know what I mean?  

For example:

Because, like, I loved having a locker.  I remember getting a locker in middle school and thinking it was awesome.  And then as a senior I got the locker that had been 'passed down' from one friend to another over the last several years.  

 

My children have lockers!  When our high school remodeled, our next door neighbors got a section of lockers.  When they decided to move, they passed them on to us (complete with stickers that they stuck on.  So we have six lockers by our back door.  Each person in our family gets one locker for backpack, shoes, and jacket, and the leftover locker holds the bird seed and squirrel corn because it's easily accessible.  It works great!

[SharonM]

Mil was objecting to homeschooling because her friend said that our kids wouldn't know how to stand in line. :-0 I still giggle about that one. She said it with all seriousness. Dh proved to her that our 4 yr olds could stand in line and Walk in line!!!

[Slojo]

When people make these statements, they are remembering the things they loved about school: riding the bus, changing classes and that sense of a fresh new thing happening every hour or so and talking to friends in the hall, talking and joking with friends at lunch, getting a brand new bag and lunchbox every year. These are the fun memories. I remember those things and loved those things, too. They want their loved-one to experience them.

 

But people tend to forget all the bad parts about school. Like the poster above who said that her mother remembered how wonderful lunch was, but she only remembers it because it was the only bright spot in the day.

 

When people say these things, it's ok to understand where they're coming from: that they think the kids are missing out on something awesome. If you're talking to someone reasonable and if you feel like discussing it (and most of the time I wouldn't), you can say, "Oh, I know--lunch was the best! And no, my kids won't have that particular experience. Instead, they're going to have different experiences that they love. And if we're doing this thing right at all, the experiences they have will trump what we had in school." But only do that with loving, kind people, like grandma. Not with shrill, "you're making a mistake" homeschool hating people.

 

When people say, "But how will they learn to deal with mean people/bullies/bad teachers?", I understand their point. There are soooo many co-workers, managers, bosses, etc that will be mean, bad, bullies. How do you deal with a co-worker who doesn't knock you down and take your lunch money...but they do steal credit for your ideas? How do you deal with an unreasonable boss who has complete control over your job?

 

I don't think you have to have a bad teacher or deal with a bully to handle these things later in life, but some people do. They feel that if you have had to work around a bad teacher, you'll know how to work around a bad boss, etc.

Totally cool - I probably "overplay" the "That's great! Your kid got to do X because they are in school!" comments so as not to come off as a know-it-all homeschooler who is "just giving her kids this superior experience" (eh, sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not, and sometimes it's a wash -- but on the whole, my kids have experienced some cool things, some of which would still be available to them if they were in school, some which are pretty different, and some which -- just for sheer frequency of being able to do it -- has added tremendously to their experiences - i.e., the frequency at which we can take field trips and road trips, even while working around my work schedule and their school work). 

 

The bullies thing puzzles me because my kids have managed to run into difficult people without school (not a lot, but enough to get the concept of a "difficult person"), and they are growing in their ability to deal with them. Do people have neighbors? Well, we had a pretty awful neighborhood bully that we'd actually not like to repeat now that he's out of our kids' life. And they have group experiences in which they have to work out parts and who's doing what and who's idea "gets heard" and that one dominating kid all the time, and they are 8 and 10. I'd think that they'll get even more experience with that as teenagers and in college, and they will be able as prepared as anyone else to deal. 

Edited January 27, 2016 by Slojo

[heartlikealion]

Being bullied didn't really teach me coping skills (or it did? I don't know. But nothing worth wishing upon people). It just gave me something to reflect on later in life when I realized people that do it must be pretty unhappy and/or insecure.

Edited January 27, 2016 by heartlikealion

[Garga]

Yes, but here is what I said a couple of times to others who raised that objection: simply having endured it does not necessarily mean a person developed healthy, adequate tactics for dealing with douchebags. Often, ways that an adult person behaves dysfunctionally harkens back to mean and despicable things that they were teased about or bullied about in childhood. I have seen more than my share of grown twenty-somethings (indeed, I was one) who are hypersensitive about some aspect of themselves because they were ridiculed so much as a kid.

So, simply being exposed to crappy things does not equate to a person devising good coping skills or dealing-with-awful-people skills as an adult. A good case can be made that growing into an adult who manages nasty people well would be in spite of childhood experiences, not because of them. If this were not so, then the most relationship-savvy adults would be those who were the most abused and poorly treated, but we know that the opposite is true.

I agree with you both. I hope I didn't sound like I was one of those people that thought kids should have bad teachers or deal with bullies in school. I was just saying what the mind-set is of people who believe that. I think that if you manage to get through childhood without having your self-esteem ripped apart, you're better able to deal with bullies at work and difficult co-workers. You're stronger about yourself on the inside.

 

But not everyone agrees with me, hence all the people who say, "They'll have to learn to deal with bullies, etc.".

 

People who say that were never bullied the way I was or they'd never say that. The very idea makes me want to scream and throttle the person saying it.

[HS Mom in NC]

I haven't had anyone foolish enough to confront me directly on the subject, but the weirdest question I ever got was, "So do your homeschooled kids wear a school uniform in your homeschool?"  She wasn't kidding, she really wanted to know if they wore a uniform during our homeschooling. 

[slackermom]

She wasn't kidding, she really wanted to know if they wore a uniform during our homeschooling. 

 

My dd wore her fuzzy fleece "uniform" to homeschool every morning. She loved it so much, she even slept in it too!

[Mimm]

Yes, but here is what I said a couple of times to others who raised that objection: simply having endured it does not necessarily mean a person developed healthy, adequate tactics for dealing with douchebags. Often, ways that an adult person behaves dysfunctionally harkens back to mean and despicable things that they were teased about or bullied about in childhood. I have seen more than my share of grown twenty-somethings (indeed, I was one) who are hypersensitive about some aspect of themselves because they were ridiculed so much as a kid.

 

So, simply being exposed to crappy things does not equate to a person devising good coping skills or dealing-with-awful-people skills as an adult. A good case can be made that growing into an adult who manages nasty people well would be in spite of childhood experiences, not because of them. If this were not so, then the most relationship-savvy adults would be those who were the most abused and poorly treated, but we know that the opposite is true.

 

SO agree with this. I actually feel quite disgusted with people who use the whole "gotta get used to bullies" line of reasoning and I assume they must have been bullies when they were in school. No one who has seen the life long damage that bullying can do to a person would advocate that anyone go through that.

[luuknam]

In Asia, high schoolers don't change classes.

 

Asia is a big place. In Thailand, they did change classes (at least in the school I was in, which was a pretty typical school, afaik). They did however also sweep the room at the end of the last period of the day. And shoes were left outside of the classroom, in the hallway.

 

"You should be sending them to school so they will be exposed to all the sickness, so they will build immunity!"   

 

Why did that not work for me despite being in school from preK-12, with a bonus year as an exchange student in a Thai high school? I don't need to send my kids to school to expose them to germs, I get enough colds etc that I can cough and sneeze all over them often enough myself (I probably get the germs from taking them to homeschool and other kids' activities).