Slache Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I started a thread asking about martial arts for my son and the general consensus was that he won't make friends in a martial arts class. We have no other kids at our church and we've had no luck at the park aside from my children learning to hit and picking up a few new words. I thought a martial arts/gymnastics/sports sort of thing would be better because the kids there be better behaved with more involved parents. Is that foolish? Here's what I want: Meets year around. No more than 2 time a week, once a week preferred. Less than $100 a month. Fun. I don't care if it's coed. I don't care what the age group is. I don't care if he doesn't gain a skill or knowledge. All ideas welcome. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Do you have any churches that do mother's day out programs there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Our four year old socializes with his family. That's the bulk of it. He also does ballet once per week, it's about $20 for an hour of creative dance/ballet for his age. We also do an elective co op as a family, and he has four hours of classes and play with 3-5 year olds. It's $150 for our whole family for ten weeks. In the fall he'll be doing swim lessons, they don't usually take kids before they're five but he can handle it. That's an hour and a half of lessons and then free swim time with our swim friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 Do you have any churches that do mother's day out programs there? I've only just heard of these. I don't even know what they are. I will definitely look into it. Thank you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Oh, and my four year old doesn't really have friends - I've noticed my kids don't really have loyalty and preferences for specific friends until about first grade. He has buddies he plays with and plays alongside, but it's not a deep best friend situation like my older girls have with their two best friends. That develops more in the 6-7 range than the 3-5 range for many children and is developmentally very normal. The cliques start getting tight in second and third grade :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 It's 2-3 hours a pop, 2-3 days a week. Lots of churches run them. Kind of like preschool,Sunday school, and playtime combined. Much cheaper than traditional preschool. The good ones fill up fast here. They run the public school year. Lots of mom's with school age children work there. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 MDOs here are once a week and about four to five hours long so Mom can actually do something. You might find programs vary. How about storytime at the library? It's a way of meeting other families, but you have to be proactive and strike up a conversation. The socialization then happens when you've chit chatted several weeks and you ask if your new aquaintance would like to go to the park after storytime next week. I think the key is to go to these fun classes and things, but not expect any playtime/socializing to take place there; rather, take the extra step of getting to know the parents aand then invite from there. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 How about a tot tumbling class or a kindermusik type of activity? Sometimes dance studios have a mixed class dance/acrobatics for the pre-school set. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 nm 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Is there a big enough homeschool community around you that you could start something? I know that many people don't feel like pre-K is "homeschooling" but whatever - at least around here, every kid 3 and up is in preschool unless the parents are planning to homeschool. We made most of our good friends at that age through preschool homeschool meet ups. What if you made a field trip group? Or do you have any talents that you could share? Art, storytime, science time, dance? At this age, I feel like it doesn't take that much and I generally have a "if you build it they will come" mentality about finding friends for this age. If you say, hey, other families "preschool homeschooling/planning to homeschool" want to have a weekly Lego building time at my house/that free library room? Or whatever. And a bunch of people may bite. It's nice to have a focus beyond just "park" for some families but then you get the other people who are likely on a similar path. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I would consider changing churches to one with more kids. I would look for an early childhood music class and informally suggest park trips afterwards. I don't know if it meets your parameters, but I think preschool is awesome. A whole different ball of wax than regular school. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 Is there a big enough homeschool community around you that you could start something? I know that many people don't feel like pre-K is "homeschooling" but whatever - at least around here, every kid 3 and up is in preschool unless the parents are planning to homeschool. We made most of our good friends at that age through preschool homeschool meet ups. What if you made a field trip group? Or do you have any talents that you could share? Art, storytime, science time, dance? At this age, I feel like it doesn't take that much and I generally have a "if you build it they will come" mentality about finding friends for this age. If you say, hey, other families "preschool homeschooling/planning to homeschool" want to have a weekly Lego building time at my house/that free library room? Or whatever. And a bunch of people may bite. It's nice to have a focus beyond just "park" for some families but then you get the other people who are likely on a similar path. I speak Spanish! That's brilliant! Thank you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I speak Spanish! That's brilliant! Thank you! Oh yeah, a half hour of I'll play little games with them in Spanish followed by hang out time would do super, super well around here for the age 3-5 yo homeschooling set. That's perfect. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Four is a really hard age, frankly. They're too young for most homeschooling things or elementary activities, but they are too old for the "Mommy and Me" classes and playgroups. It's really an age that is centered around preschool. Even early childhood music classes have a difficult time filling spots for 3-5 year olds, in comparison to the toddler aged classes or the elementary lessons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I would see if there is a support group in your area. Not a co-op, but a support group. If you were in our area, we'd have park days, field trips, holiday parties, and other stuff, and we happily take 4yo even if they don't have older siblings. And as you know, I disagreed with your assessment about the MA class, but it does depend on the class. My children do say that they find that the kids in their usual class are better behaved than the kids in the evening class, but I'm not sure if that's accurate or not. (The daytime homeschool class is smaller, so I think that colors their perception a bit -- more kids mean more commotion in general, which my kids might translate as not as well behaved.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 I would see if there is a support group in your area. Not a co-op, but a support group. If you were in our area, we'd have park days, field trips, holiday parties, and other stuff, and we happily take 4yo even if they don't have older siblings. And as you know, I disagreed with your assessment about the MA class, but it does depend on the class. My children do say that they find that the kids in their usual class are better behaved than the kids in the evening class, but I'm not sure if that's accurate or not. (The daytime homeschool class is smaller, so I think that colors their perception a bit -- more kids mean more commotion in general, which my kids might translate as not as well behaved.) The ladies in the other thread thought we should visit the local classes and see what we think and I think that's a fabulous idea. My sister in law is coming to town next week so I'm gathering ideas for now and we'll go visit a few classes soon. I'm really hoping it works out because that's what he wants. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 The ladies in the other thread thought we should visit the local classes and see what we think and I think that's a fabulous idea. My sister in law is coming to town next week so I'm gathering ideas for now and we'll go visit a few classes soon. I'm really hoping it works out because that's what he wants. Maybe it is a "both/and" sort of thing -- You could enroll him in a martial arts class because he really wants to try it (and if you are lucky make a friend or two), AND you could try to informally advertise your own homeschool/preschool playgroup, spanish language group or whatever? The group you start would be free or low cost! We've made few friends through classes. After attending the same TaeKwonDo studio the past year and a half, just this month a mom asked to set up a playdate for her child and my DS8. That's been my experience with most "classes" as well that are people gathering to learn a specific sport or skill. When DD was preschool age and she was my oldest, we had a lot better luck with looking for or organizing our own playgroups or informal co-ops with others who had preschool age kids and were planning to homeschool, and making friends that way. I wouldn't rule out checking out more traditional co-op that continue thru elementary age either. The co-op we're in has a preschool age class and allows families to join whose oldest child is still preschool age. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I'll second the library recommendation. Aside from the preschool story time (which they may or may not have), some libraries have nice kids areas. One library in our system has an entire playroom, another has just some toys, and a few of the others only have computers and books and no toys. I don't know about the other 20 or so libraries in our system - those are just the ones within reasonable driving distance. Our library also has crafterday for the 6-10yo crowd on Saturdays, which is something like 1.5-2 hours of making some crafty project. A 4yo is too young for that, BUT, people with kids in that age range often also have a younger kid, who may be playing in the play area while big sibling is doing the crafty stuff. Some grocery stores also have a play area where you can drop them off while you shop. Some Wegman's, some Tops, IKEA (not a grocery store, but w/e). Some times of the day have more kids than other times. You can ask the people working there what their busy hours are for various age ranges. The Y has childwatch, which is babysitting while you work out. Again, some times may have more or fewer kids in the 4yo age range than other times. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 When my kids were that age I found mom friends at their classes. We had family playdates. It's possible with any kind of class . One year I 'bought' friends by putting dd in preschool. :D 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I think structured classes can be a great for a 4 year old that is interested and engaged at whatever is happening. Both my kids did great with certain classes at that age. But for socialization? I'd start my own preschool playgroup if nothing like that exists in your area that would be welcoming for you. That has been the best for my kids in terms of getting to know other kids and making real friends. My kids have now developed friends through activities, but it took a LONG time to get to the point where were inviting those kids to stuff outside class and vice versa. In structured activities, there's less time for kids to actually socialize. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakelly Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 When my youngest was that age, I started a weekly park playgroup. It was a huge hit. I ran it for several years, with much success. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 When my children were 2-5, even though they were in pre-school, much of our socialization came with me driving to the parks that were the most full. Every time. We didn't go to the park down the street because it was often empty. We went to the park where I knew there were other people, every day, without fail. We did this from when my first was three, up through today, where we finally live in a neighborhood chock-full of children. We made a lot of friends that way. Nothing formal, just the park. It was great. Lots of free play, skinned knees, that kind of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 The baseball little league by us starts at 4. My son plays with his brother, a one little boy his age at church. I wish he had more friends too, but I really don't have time or energy to do anything extra just for him. :( my olders kinda take priority right now. If you lived near me, I'd have you over for coffee and a play date ! :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 We took a weekly class at the nature center. It's great if you can find a 6 or 8 week program so he can see the same kids every week. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I have found that my kids never really made friends in structured activities like dance, martial arts, etc.- the kids tend to come to the classes with their parents, they don't usually have time to socialize during the class because they're supposed to be paying attention to the instructor, and then when it's over people just leave. So, I agree with the suggestions to look for a playgroup and if you can't find one, start your own! Preschool can also be really nice if you're not opposed to it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThursdayNext Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 What worked for me was joining a Bible study. After going to class for a while and getting to know the people in my group, I befriended the moms with kids my age, inviting them to my house for lunch and a play date. I didn't feel like I could invite people over after just seeing them at the park. And although I could have chatted with the other parents at kid activities, I'm not good at small talk. It was awkward to try to get to know people, and everyone seems to want to watch their own kid or look at their phone. But if you are good at making new friends and chatting this could work well for you. Activities on their own are not enough to really get to know another kid. Personally, I think kids need a one on one or small group unstructured setting to really make friends. And starting at age 6, close friends rather than random kids do become important. I really like having people over at our house, and going to theirs. Without that, I don't feel like we really know them. What I wish I had now, though, is a 6 year old girl who could just be dropped off, without the mom and siblings staying. Because sometimes I just need to get other things done, but DD needs more social interaction. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 A mom's morning out program at the local Methodist church meets all your criteria. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKWAcademy Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 gymnastics! My son is in no way a gymnast but he loves his classes. He started out in a co-ed preschool level class. Now he's in a boys only class. It is only once per week now but I wish it were twice. He hasn't made lasting friends yet but he loves hanging with other boys. you could put him in summer camps and see if you meet any similar families. or swimming lessons. Just because it only meets temporarily doesn't mean you can't meet people to have play time with during the year. Then, the play would be free. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKWAcademy Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 What I wish I had now, though, is a 6 year old girl who could just be dropped off, without the mom and siblings staying. Because sometimes I just need to get other things done, but DD needs more social interaction. me too! but I'd need for her to have a twin brother for my guy to play with, too! And they'd have to live out in the boonies like we do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer132 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Gymboree has a class that meets for two hours a week for 3-5 year olds (oldest child ages out at 6). It is a drop off class. My older two LOVED it when they were that age. They went twice a week and took a music class there on a third day. Our Gymboree had opportunity to go three times a week. They did make friends. It is partly structured, partly free play. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 We like MOPS, the kids go to the kids program and I got to know a lot of moms with same age kids that way. I invite people over or to meet at a park and the kids get a fair amount of play time in that way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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