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The Biter


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What, oh what, oh what do you do with a toddler who Will.Not.Stop biting?

 

He bites me.

 

He bites his siblings.

 

He randomly walked up and bit an elderly relative at a family gathering.

 

I've tried biting back, it has no effect.

 

I had the dentist check his teeth in case they were bothering him, they're fine.

 

This behavior really needs to stop, and I have no idea how to facilitate that.

 

I think he does it for attention?

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I have a biter as well, although as mentioned by myblessings4 it is because he is sensory seeking. We have used chewey tubes and chewelry with some success.

 

The Biting Solution by Lisa Poelle has been recommended to me but I haven't purchased it yet, the reviews look good, it may be worth a try.

 

Edited because I can't type on my iPad

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I had a biter.

First, you probably need to let go of the "this really needs to stop" idea.  Sorry.   :glare:   Here's the thing: there is NO magic parenting fix that will stop a child from engaging in undesirable behaviour, especially in the toddler ages.  You teach, you redirect, you teach, you shadow, you intervene, and *eventually* they mature through the stage and start to be able to consistently use the tools that you are teaching.

 

Look for triggers, of course.  Get the child chew toys that he can use and EVERY time he bites, redirect him to a chew toy.  Offer chew toys *before* starting a playgroup or other gathering.  Take chew toy breaks.  Shadow the child around other people.  Read books like "Teeth are not for Biting."  If it's triggered by anger at all, teach tools for appropriate behaviour when angry.  (Toddler-appropriate tools, of course!)

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I don't have any answers for you, but I'm glad you are working to stop it.  My niece had a biter and she just went with, "eh, she'll outgrow it".  In the meantime her two older siblings were terrified of her!  They basically gave her everything she wanted because if they didn't she would bite them. Mom didn't intervene. :confused1:  "siblings have to work things out on their own.."

 

She bit until she hit preschool and the teacher would not allow her in anymore if she continued biting.  My niece finally dealt with it then (don't really remember how) but by then she was 4-5 and had learned to be a terror already.  

 

Sorry this is hard!  :grouphug: Don't give up!

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My youngest was a biter. We went with melodrama. The bitten person would cry and wail and get lots of attention and the little biter would get none. We found she had started biting out of frustration, but it took seeing the person she had bitten get lots of attention for her to figure out it wasn't a good strategy. We also worked on trying to prevent the inciting events and catch the frustration before it got overwhelming for her. She still has a stormy temper, but she has learned to make a good argument instead of lashing out.

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Ugh. Don't know, but have seen them. It usually goes away in 6 - 12 months, I hear, whether or not you try various elimination diets. Though that might help pass the time. Best of luck to you.

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It is frustrating. I had two biters. I was a biter...My mother was a biter. The honestly truth, when I am really angry, my teeth ache in wanting to bite. It is a strong urge. My mother has told me she feels the same. Now that my two are older, my bite prone dd tells me she does too. Haven't asked ds about it. Time and maturity are all I have found to overcome it (for my littles/as well as myself, I guess). In the meantime, watch and be ready to swoop in when possible. And, be glad if they are "in the family" biters.

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How verbal is the little nipper? We had a little biter in a child care setting. I think he did it out of frustration - he wanted communication but couldn't verbalize his message - biting got everyone's attention.

 

Calvin was a screamer rather than a biter, but it was definitely frustration at being unable to communicate: once he was talking well, it went away.

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It is frustrating. I had two biters. I was a biter...My mother was a biter. The honestly truth, when I am really angry, my teeth ache in wanting to bite. It is a strong urge. My mother has told me she feels the same. Now that my two are older, my bite prone dd tells me she does too.

I couldn't help smiling. It's like the opening sentences of a werewolf steampunk novel.

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It is frustrating. I had two biters. I was a biter...My mother was a biter. The honestly truth, when I am really angry, my teeth ache in wanting to bite. It is a strong urge. My mother has told me she feels the same. Now that my two are older, my bite prone dd tells me she does too. Haven't asked ds about it. Time and maturity are all I have found to overcome it (for my littles/as well as myself, I guess). In the meantime, watch and be ready to swoop in when possible. And, be glad if they are "in the family" biters.

 

Now this is fascinating! It does seem to be some kind of an instinctive urge, this has been going on pretty much since he got teeth though it kinda seems to be worse lately.

 

I think he bites for lots of different reasons.

 

Some is probably sensory.

 

Some is frustration. He will be three in August and is getting more verbal every day, that does seem to be helping with some of his other challenging behaviors (like screaming) but so far hasn't impacted the biting.

 

Sometimes it is anger/aggression as when he and another child get in a conflict over a toy.

 

Sometimes it is a game (he pretends to be a T-Rex and chases everyone).

 

Sometimes it is teasing (because it gets people to react!)

 

Sometimes it is probably attention seeking.

 

Sometimes, as at the family gathering, it is most likely feeling overwhelmed.

 

I hadn't thought of getting him something to redirect his biting too--like a chew toy for a puppy I suppose. I think I will look into that. He reminds me a bit of a puppy nipping at my heels, except his head isn't at heel level so I get nipped on the rear end instead. Not appreciated, that...

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The goal is to watch like a hawk and stop them before. Keep correcting, they do finally understand. Please don't bite.

This. Don't flick or anything either. 

 

FWIW, our youngest is turning into a biter. I pay attention to the one who gets bitten and remove LO somewhere else.

 

 

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I've tried biting him back not as a punishment but in an attempt to teach him that biting hurts. I really don't think he understands that bit.

 

Worked with one of my older children, and I only had to do it once. Didn't make an impact on this one though.

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I'm curious--those of you who have had a biter--was that child also a mouther?

 

Most of my children have not been inclined to mouth non-food items very much,though I know that is common among babies/toddlers. This one is my exception, mouthing and eating non-food items, spitting--just generally engaging with the world orally. I'm wondering if the biting just goes along with that.

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How verbal is the little nipper? We had a little biter in a child care setting. I think he did it out of frustration - he wanted communication but couldn't verbalize his message - biting got everyone's attention.

 

This was our biter.  Once he started talking more the biting stopped. 

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I'm curious--those of you who have had a biter--was that child also a mouther?

 

Most of my children have not been inclined to mouth non-food items very much,though I know that is common among babies/toddlers. This one is my exception, mouthing and eating non-food items, spitting--just generally engaging with the world orally. I'm wondering if the biting just goes along with that.

Looking into oral sensory processing may be helpful. Those are all oral sensory seeking behaviors. Lots of info online, but if you exhaust options at home, OT can assist. Drinking applesauce (thick stuff) through a coffee stirrer or thin straw, crunchy carrots, chew toys, kazoo or harmonica, electric toothbrush...

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I'm curious--those of you who have had a biter--was that child also a mouther?

 

Most of my children have not been inclined to mouth non-food items very much,though I know that is common among babies/toddlers. This one is my exception, mouthing and eating non-food items, spitting--just generally engaging with the world orally. I'm wondering if the biting just goes along with that.

One of mine was. The other no more than average. That one was a screamer though-- meaning for no reason at all/just suddenly at the top of lung capacity.

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I'm curious--those of you who have had a biter--was that child also a mouther?

 

Most of my children have not been inclined to mouth non-food items very much,though I know that is common among babies/toddlers. This one is my exception, mouthing and eating non-food items, spitting--just generally engaging with the world orally. I'm wondering if the biting just goes along with that.

 

No, my biter was more of an attack-in-fury biter.

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My boys didn't bite but they were mouthers and having allowed items to chew really helped.  Having a chewy tube around their necks (or chewy jewellery) gave them an allowed outlet.  We left the chewies behind when we went out, and they seemed to do fine with that.  They grew out of it in the end.

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I had a biter. I tied a carrot around her with yarn, like a necklace. I told her that every time she had the urge to bite, to take a chomp out of the carrot. It was funny because as the day would go on you'd see little bites had been taken. It took a while to break her of that habit. It really hurt!!

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