Appalling Mother's Day Church Videos

[bolt.]

In preparation for Mother's Day, I've been seeing those sappy video links through Facebook (etc). Seriously, I don't know who finds this kind of condescending sexist saccharine clap-trap inspirational!

 

Example video:

 

https://skitguys.com/videos/item/mom-goggles

 

In this, two bumbling dads have taken on a weekend of caring for their own children, have chaos, order magic 'mom goggles' online -- begin to see things through their wives' gracious and skilled lenses, and make very sappy thankful phone calls about 'not knowing how she does it'. Additional Christian content is added about how God specifically made Moms so wonderfully capable, patient and gracious -- no one else can measure up.

 

First question: Did you find that video inspirational? Funny? Something else positive? If so, help me understand how that works for you. I won't criticize... I do want to "get it."

 

Second question: Did you find that video sexist? Condescending? Sappy? Something else negative? If so, help me by venting and making me feel less alone in my criticisms. Which gender was it more condescending to?

 

Why? Well, I'm supposed to be participating in a Church service on Mother's Day, and I'm sure a video like this one (if not this exact one -- probably!) will be shown. If I don't get to vent and discuss it, and if I don't understand what good it did... I'm not sure how well my speaking role is going to go.

 

What I want to say back to this type of messaging is this:

 

Stop making Morherhood something it isn't. Responsive capable parenting is a perfectly normal human capacity that grows from love, intelligence, and exposure to tiny humans. It's one thing to be grateful to someone (like your wife or mother) who is dedicated, and takes the time to develop those skills. It's another thing *entirely* to regard it as some sort of cosmic gender-specific miracle. That's both illogical *and* unbiblical. How do we do it? We work hard and figure it out. It takes years, and then we get good at it.

 

I don't know why it makes me so irritated, but it does.

[Guest]

I'm really, really glad our church doesn't do this, and that we're not on Facebook. In fact, our church doesn't make a big deal of mothers day at all, because we have unmarried women in the church, childless women, those who have lost children, etc. And quite frankly, being a mother doesn't mean one is more blessed or favored by God than a woman with no husband or children. There are different areas of service for different members of the body, and one isn't superior or inferior just because it is different. On Mother's Day, we get a nice centerpiece of roses for the service and send each mom home with one. No topical sermon, no hoopla, no problem.

 

 

And I have a REAL burr under my saddle over any media that makes men look like morons to lift women up. The idiotic, lazy, bumbling dad stereotype is so highly offensive it isn't funny and I think we can show our appreciation for one sex without degrading the other.

[Amira]

I hate the sanctification of changing diapers and folding sheets.  I am not a saint because I gave birth and take care of my children.

 

I hate it when men are portrayed as incompetent parents because they are male.

 

It think it was equally condescending to both sexes.

[marbel]

I didn't watch the whole thing.

 

Yeah, it's stupid.   

 

Honestly, I can't imagine seeing something like this in church.  I just don't get why something like this would be shown.  But, Mother's and Father's Days are barely acknowledged at mine.  I think there is a specific prayer for the parent being celebrated on the day, and that's it.   And that is fine with me.

 

[Aiden]

I despise videos like that.

 

If women took those videos seriously, how much respect and love would we feel for our husbands--who must be incompetent, bumbling idiots? Why would we marry to begin with if men were such buffoons?

 

If men took those videos seriously, they'd completely check out of fatherhood--after all, they're so obviously unable to do it with even a modicum of competence, so why not take off on golf or hunting trips every weekend and leave the women to do what only women can do?

 

I am tired of people portraying motherhood as something it isn't. It isn't a job; I don't want a made-up job title to make it sound impressive. It isn't the impossible task that only the very special, gifted-by-God women can do correctly; I don't want to be placed on a pedestal because I love my daughter and do my best to take good care of her. It is a role that has value, and I don't want it to be put down, but I also don't want it to be elevated as if it's more important or more difficult than the role of fathers.

 

I think it was more condescending to men than to women, but it was not a fair or healthy portrayal of either.

 

[Mimm]

I had to turn it off.

 

My husband changes diapers, gets up with the baby, helps with laundry, and housework and works 40+ hours a week. It makes me really uncomfortable to pat myself on the back for being a mom.

[Hyacinth]

Oh, I am right there with you!

 

One of the pastors I know recently tweeted something like, "Praying for the ladies at the retreat this weekend. Praying even harder for the men at home with the kids." Gah.

 

Maybe it's a generational sentiment that is still passed off as funny? I mean, my dad (who is now 75) would have needed divine assistance to manage the house and kids if my mom wasn't around back then. He was unengaged, and he regarded childcare and housework as the domain of the woman.

 

I can't think of any men I know currently raising children who operate that way. They're all engaged and responsible and perfectly capable of handling a weekend of solo parenting without a pity party or a celebratory pat on the back for enduring it.

[AimeeM]

I think you're looking too much into it. I'm not sure what to say - I thought it was amusing. 

ETA: I have more to add. Phone ringing. Be back! Lol.

[Mimm]

What's the opposite of that video? One that shows the man as a professional working hard for his family and his wife just doesn't get it, doesn't realize what it takes to earn a living for the family? How horribly insulting would that be??

[bolt.]

So, it was amusing to you (AimeeM) because it exaggerated the distinctions in a way that showed their humour -- by making them unrealistically extreme? And because 'unrealistic exaggeration' is part of the humour, you find it odd to object to it being unrealistic? That makes sense.

[Guest]

Oh, I am right there with you!

 

One of the pastors I know recently tweeted something like, "Praying for the ladies at the retreat this weekend. Praying even harder for the men at home with the kids." Gah.

 

Maybe it's a generational sentiment that is still passed off as funny? I mean, my dad (who is now 75) would have needed divine assistance to manage the house and kids if my mom wasn't around back then. He was unengaged, and he regarded childcare and housework as the domain of the woman.

 

I can't think of any men I know currently raising children who operate that way. They're all engaged and responsible and perfectly capable of handling a weekend of solo parenting without a pity party or a celebratory pat on the back for enduring it.

Hmm...

 

I wouldn't have been offended by that, because my husband DOES need prayers when he tries to step into my shoes and I'm out of town. My skill set is vastly different than his, and he struggles with what I've specialized and put in place to help *me* get through the day. If I were to try out his role I'd need even MORE prayers, because I am utterly incapable of doing his job. I don't have the decades of specialized study and training, the thick skin to deal with multiple bosses, or the drive to face down the adverse and challenging circumstances he deals with every single day.

 

We couldn't do one another's jobs with much success. We complement one another. We are different. The Lord blessed us with a varied set of talents, skills, and desires, and asking either of us to swap out for one another's role isn't ideal. I mean, at least my husband does a pretty good job of taking care of the house, meals, education, and child rearing when I'm sick in bed (like last night) or out of town (like with my board duties). It would be a laughable fail if I had to step in for him.

 

Of course, maybe I'm just a bumbling, incompetent woman who needs to go back in the kitchen :p. Because if I had to play highly educated PE/SE for a day I'd probably get him fired, whereas when he takes over for me I just end up with a slightly messy kitchen and otherwise fed, bathed, happy kids :)

[bolt.]

What's the opposite of that video? One that shows the man as a professional working hard for his family and his wife just doesn't get it, doesn't realize what it takes to earn a living for the family? How horribly insulting would that be??

Pretty bad.

 

I also wonder at all the, "Gee, we were surprised to learn that women's work is hard the first time you do it, with no training, preparation or support." What on earth makes that news? All work is hard on your first day! Everybody gets better at whatever they do once they have done it for years. A newbie isn't as fabulous as an experienced pro? That's to be expected. (And it doesn't make someone a bumbling idiot unless they act like one.)

 

It's like the show 'undercover boss' -- of course s/he can't do every job in the company by virtue of being a smart everyday human. Skills take time to aquire. The world doesn't run on common sense. Nobody turns to their neighbour and says, "Hi, friend? What's your occupation? Why don't you let me do your job for a day. I'm smart, and I'm sure that I'll need nothing more than common sense to be successful!" <~ anybody would come off looking like a fool if they did that.

[SKL]

Ugh, blah.  :P  Does that answer your question?

 

I think it is insulting to everyone in the room, male or female, parent or not.

 

Lucky for me, I never have to worry about getting those gross cards and stuff from a husband for Mother's Day.  Being single does have its privileges.

 

Actually I kind of hate a lot of things about Mother's Day.  For example, why aren't there any Mother's Day cards that say, "You're an OK mom.  I appreciate what you do, but let's not overdo it."  :P  I am NOT the best mommy in the whole wide world, I'm not "Supermom," sometimes I don't even want to look at my mom self in the mirror.  I do work hard, but so will my kids when they are moms.  So I'm kind of over it already.

[Amira]

 

 

Actually I kind of hate a lot of things about Mother's Day.  For example, why aren't there any Mother's Day cards that say, "You're an OK mom.  I appreciate what you do, but let's not overdo it."  :p  I am NOT the best mommy in the whole wide world, I'm not "Supermom," sometimes I don't even want to look at my mom self in the mirror.  I do work hard, but so will my kids when they are moms.  So I'm kind of over it already.

 

No one in my family has ever gotten me a Mother's Day card because they're smart that way, but I could go for one with that sentiment. :)

[Pawz4me]

I've never been interested in cards or flowers or anything like that for Mother's Day because IMO it's all just too over the top.  But yeah -- I could get behind SKL's version of a Mother's Day card!

[ThisIsTheDay]

Even without the condescending videos, I am extremely uncomfortable when churches make a fuss over Mother's Day. I don't want a flower, a CD, "first dibs" at Communion, etc.  It shows a gross insensitivity to those who long/ed to be mothers but who struggle with infertility or not being married, etc.  Let's just keep the focus on Jesus.

[Zinnia]

You guys have obviously never attended southern Baptist churches.  Videos like that every week. 

 

Of course, we no longer attend a SBC, so there might be a correlation.  :)

 

[G5052]

Even without the condescending videos, I am extremely uncomfortable when churches make a fuss over Mother's Day. I don't want a flower, a CD, "first dibs" at Communion, etc.  It shows a gross insensitivity to those who long/ed to be mothers but who struggle with infertility or not being married, etc.  Let's just keep the focus on Jesus.

 

Yes, I dislike Mother's Day at church.  It's fine at home with the cards and lunch if they remember.

 

But church.  UGH.  I do what I do because I do it.  I'm not anything more special than millions of other mothers, and of course there are plenty of wonderful people in the world who are not mothers.

 

And then all of the rhetoric about honoring our mothers.  My mother was a violent, disturbed individual who tormented me until the very end.  I have no interest in honoring that sort of person, mother or not.

 

And yes, DH is perfectly capable of managing without me, and has done so for weeks at a time when I was away dealing with eldercare issues.  OK, maybe he didn't mop the kitchen floor the whole time, but they ate 3 meals and wore clean clothes every day.  And he did a bunch of home projects that needed doing that I'm not capable of.  Sounds like shared responsibility to me!

[Pawz4me]

First question: Did you find that video inspirational? Funny? Something else positive? If so, help me understand how that works for you. I won't criticize... I do want to "get it."

 

Second question: Did you find that video sexist? Condescending? Sappy? Something else negative? If so, help me by venting and making me feel less alone in my criticisms. Which gender was it more condescending to?

 

This isn't deep or insightful and thus not likely helpful, but IMO it ranks high on the Silly Meter.  Possibly it blew up the meter.

 

All I could think about was how much longer until it would be over.

 

I'm finding it hard to believe that whoever made it thought it would convey anything meaningful to anyone over five or so.

[marbel]

Even without the condescending videos, I am extremely uncomfortable when churches make a fuss over Mother's Day. I don't want a flower, a CD, "first dibs" at Communion, etc.  It shows a gross insensitivity to those who long/ed to be mothers but who struggle with infertility or not being married, etc.  Let's just keep the focus on Jesus.

 

Are you being facetious?  I hope so... but I think not.

 

The worst church Mother's Day experience I had was the first MD after my mom died.  I walked into church (we had been going less than a year so I wasn't expecting this) and was offered either a red or white rose to wear.  One color, if my mother was alive; the other, if she was not.  I don't remember which color was which nor do I remember the euphemisms for "alive" and "dead" were used by the lady at the door.  I had never heard of such a thing, but I guess it is common in some places. 

 

I was stunned.  My mom had died in January so it wasn't fresh grief, but still.  This was 2002 and as you can see I am still mad about it. 

 

Our church's rather "plain" worship service used to bother me.  Mostly at Christmas because I missed the Advent wreath candle lighting.  But more and more I'm glad we don't have any "extras."  Just music, prayers, preaching. No movies, no skits, no special shoutouts to anyone.

 

[MercyA]

Even without the condescending videos, I am extremely uncomfortable when churches make a fuss over Mother's Day. I don't want a flower, a CD, "first dibs" at Communion, etc.  It shows a gross insensitivity to those who long/ed to be mothers but who struggle with infertility or not being married, etc.  Let's just keep the focus on Jesus.

 

Thank you.  I will never forget when some well-meaning church greeter insisted that I take a Mother's Day gift, even after I said, "No, thank you, I'm not a mother."  Obviously, he didn't know my situation, but it was extremely painful.  I think it was a book of devotions for mothers that I tossed when I got home.  I probably shouldn't have been so upset, but Mother's Day was difficult at the time.  I wish people would just *think* a little more.  

 

Regarding the video, I don't find things like that at all appropriate for church.  Aside from the stereotyping, it shows a lack of reverence. 

[MercyA]

The worst church Mother's Day experience I had was the first MD after my mom died.  I walked into church (we had been going less than a year so I wasn't expecting this) and was offered either a red or white rose to wear.  One color, if my mother was alive; the other, if she was not.  I don't remember which color was which nor do I remember the euphemisms for "alive" and "dead" were used by the lady at the door.  I had never heard of such a thing, but I guess it is common in some places. 

 

I was stunned.  My mom had died in January so it wasn't fresh grief, but still.  This was 2002 and as you can see I am still mad about it. 

 

That's horrible.  :grouphug:

[ThisIsTheDay]

Are you being facetious?  I hope so... but I think not.

 

 

 

 

Serious.  Moms were asked to go up first while everyone else waited in their seats.  It was horribly awkward.  Do I go up and feel like I'm gaining some sort of approval just because I'm a mom, or do I remain in my seat with my family and get to be a regular person?  I eventually went up, feeling pressured.  To be fair, I would reluctantly do the same today, if I were caught off guard.

 

We're at a new church this year.  I'm pretty sure that there will be no special attention on moms.  Thankfully.

 

[Tammi K]

I watched the first 3.28 minutes of it and had to turn it off. Aside from the content, I thought the film style, music, etc was obnoxious - loud and annoying.  

 

The content was ridiculous. There's no way I would have married a man who couldn't change a diaper.  Yep, there are things I'm better at than he is. And, I'm happy with that (After all, I don't want to be the one switching snow tires in spring so I'll just keep the gender balance the way it is in our home)  But, this isn't about gender balance. This is just showing men to be incompetent boobs. And, I for one wouldn't want to be married to one.

 

 

ETA: The other thigh that bugs me is the idea that Mothers look at their kids through some sort of reality altering goggles.   Yeah, I DO think my kids are pretty wonderful but I'm not about to mistake any one of them for a Rembrandt.  (Although my daughter is ridiculously good in art  :tongue_smilie: )    Most Moms I know see reality pretty well. We don't have Mommy Goggles that make poop smell like rose. We just clean up the poop because it is part of caring for a little person, even if it does stink.

Edited April 29, 2015 by Tammi K

[SparklyUnicorn]

I didn't take it that seriously.  I thought it was funny. 

[Catwoman]

I just watched the video and I thought it was stupid, but I'm not all up-in-arms about it. I don't really understand why anyone is particularly offended by it. It's silly; it makes the dads seem as dopey as most sitcom fathers, and the ending was a knockoff of a Hallmark cards commercial, but that's about all.

 

I have never seen a video shown in church, and I certainly can't imagine why anyone would choose to show that one, though. It seems entirely inappropriate for church.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Even without the condescending videos, I am extremely uncomfortable when churches make a fuss over Mother's Day. I don't want a flower, a CD, "first dibs" at Communion, etc.  It shows a gross insensitivity to those who long/ed to be mothers but who struggle with infertility or not being married, etc.  Let's just keep the focus on Jesus.

 

Yeah I have to wonder if a mother actually came up with that idea.  That would seem silly to me too.

[T'smom]

The "funny" parts were kindof funny. The "serious" part was too cheesy. I thought it also poked fun at the moms when the kid with a little chocolate on his face, looked like he was totally smeared with chocolate when the mom goggles were on. And the kid standing on top of the tiny slide and the mom goggles make it look like she's on top of a skyscraper. I thought that was funny because I can totally relate to that!

 

If this was shown at my church, I would roll my eyes and move on. I don't think it is worth getting upset about, but neither do I find it worthwhile.

[SparklyUnicorn]

The "funny" parts were kindof funny. The "serious" part was too cheesy. I thought it also poked fun at the moms when the kid with a little chocolate on his face, looked like he was totally smeared with chocolate when the mom goggles were on. And the kid standing on top of the tiny slide and the mom goggles make it look like she's on top of a skyscraper. I thought that was funny because I can totally relate to that!

 

If this was shown at my church, I would roll my eyes and move on. I don't think it is worth getting upset about, but neither do I find it worthwhile.

 

Yeah it was mostly cheesy.  That's the right word.  I was not appalled. 

 

Kinda like when people make fun of women for carrying big purses, wearing ridiculously high heals, gobs of make up, spending an hour in the rest room, etc.  There are some hints of truth with some women, but plenty of women don't do that or don't do all of that.  I don't take it personally. Same with this video.  There are men who don't have as much experience taking care of little kids.  Same with some women.  So it might appear magical or mysterious.  My husband does plenty of stuff, but honestly when the kids were little I did most of that stuff.  I never worried about leaving the kids home with him, but for example, he'd take good care of the kids and the house would be a mess.  Whereas I'd take good care of the kids and the house would not be a mess. 

[HS Mom in NC]

I don't do Mother's Day at church anymore.  I call friends struggling with infertility and childlessness and we go do something else.  I wouldn't have a problem with Mother's Day at church if they represented the full spectrum of motherhood ranging from the joys to the woes (including the pain of childlessness and grieving for dead children) and everything in between as long as it was balanced on other days celebrating singleness and childlessness by choice because God made some women for other things instead and those are just as valid. 

I've attended Southern Baptist Churches and Bible Churches and I agree SB churches are worst on Mother's Day in my experience. I've seen the read vs. white rose thing and found it incredibly annoying considering there were people there whose mothers didn't die at a very old age, including younger children whose mothers had recently died.

[marbel]

Maybe this is a spinoff thread but... WHY do churches do stuff like this?   What is the reasoning behind it? There are so many possibilities for hurt feelings and awkwardness, and what does Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc have to do with worshiping God anyway?   Do Jews and Muslims have similar things at their worship services?  I just don't get it.  

 

I could see maybe, just maybe, on those days reading from the ten commandments and talking about what it means to honor parents.  But even that is a stretch.  The churches I've been attending for the past 20 years don't do topical sermons; the pastor(s) pick a book and go through it week by week till it's done.  Any current events that need mentioning are brought up in the pastoral prayer.  Of course if it so happens that a current event is relevant to the passage, it would be brought into the sermon. 

 

I just don't get it.  I guess because I haven't experienced it really.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Maybe this is a spinoff thread but... WHY do churches do stuff like this?   What is the reasoning behind it? There are so many possibilities for hurt feelings and awkwardness, and what does Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc have to do with worshiping God anyway?   Do Jews and Muslims have similar things at their worship services?  I just don't get it.  

 

I could see maybe, just maybe, on those days reading from the ten commandments and talking about what it means to honor parents.  But even that is a stretch.  The churches I've been attending for the past 20 years don't do topical sermons; the pastor(s) pick a book and go through it week by week till it's done.  Any current events that need mentioning are brought up in the pastoral prayer.  Of course if it so happens that a current event is relevant to the passage, it would be brought into the sermon. 

 

I just don't get it.  I guess because I haven't experienced it really.

 

I assume people start off with good intentions.  And I also assume that we are a bunch of thinking people who think of every damn detail.  LOL  I wonder how many people think this hard about it!

[HS Mom in NC]

On the video itself, I'm embarrassed on behalf of anyone who participated in the making of this video and for Christians who would buy the licensing and show it to anyone else.  I. hate. stupid. Incompetence isn't funny.  I don't know any dads who are incompetent and it's insulting to represent them this way and insulting to an audience.  I'll say it again, I. hate. stupid.

[Renai]

They're all engaged and responsible and perfectly capable of handling a weekend of solo parenting without a pity party or a celebratory pat on the back for enduring it.

 

You don't know my dh. He is a good father and provider, but I praise him to high heaven when he takes on our two intense kids for any length of time. Not because he's incompetent -  - but it takes a lot out of him, specifically patience, that he just doesn't have in abundance. At all. And it's not pretty.

 

I haven't watched the video yet though. But I do dislike things that make men look like idiots. Just because a person doesn't have a particular skill set (as Arctic Mama put it), doesn't make that person stupid, only skilled at something else.

[SparklyUnicorn]

You don't know my dh. He is a good father and provider, but I praise him to high heaven when he takes on our two intense kids for any length of time. Not because he's incompetent -  - but it takes a lot out of him, specifically patience, that he just doesn't have in abundance. At all. And it's not pretty.

 

I haven't watched the video yet though. But I do dislike things that make men look like idiots. Just because a person doesn't have a particular skill set (as Arctic Mama put it), doesn't make that person stupid, only skilled at something else.

 

Yes patience does not come naturally for some.  I'm so used to my kids I don't notice half of what they do.  My husband sits in a cubical all day and it's so quiet you could hear a pin drop.  He comes home and flinches because the kids are being..well kids!  I don't even notice.  But he's not used to it. 

[Renai]

 There's no way I would have married a man who couldn't change a diaper.  

 

But, you wouldn't know he couldn't change a diaper until a baby was involved, no? I remember the time I got home and the youngest's diaper was on backwards. It was funny, but also I could have care less. It caught pee and poop and that was all that mattered to me! (It got easier with one size cloth diapers as it was glaringly obvious by size which way was front, lol)

[Orthodox6]

Our previous parish had a simple, non-tacky way of acknowledging Mothers' Day. As people came up to venerate the priest's hand cross at the end of service, each person was offered a carnation. Red if the person's mother was living, white if the mother was dead.

 

That's all. Acknowledgement with a low-key symbol.

[marbel]

I assume people start off with good intentions.  And I also assume that we are a bunch of thinking people who think of every damn detail.  LOL  I wonder how many people think this hard about it!

 

If there is any place that should think hard about how their actions affect people, it's where people go to worship!  :-)

 

ETA: OK, I know a place can't think about anything, but y'all probably know what I mean.

 

[Catwoman]

I assume people start off with good intentions. And I also assume that we are a bunch of thinking people who think of every damn detail. LOL I wonder how many people think this hard about it!

I agree.

 

I would assume that churches celebrate Mother's Day because they are trying to do something nice for moms. I think some people are overly sensitive to the idea that a small minority of people might be upset about it. Until I read about it on this forum, it never occurred to me that it would be a problem. I have childless friends and friends with fertility issues and they still celebrate Mother's Day with their own moms or view the day as a way to remember their own moms and grandmothers. I have never heard one of them say that Mother's Day shouldn't be celebrated simply because they weren't moms.

 

Personally, I like Mother's Day. My mom, grandmothers, and MIL enjoyed it while they were alive, as well, and our family takes the time to remember them a little bit extra on that special day. I'm sorry if others have negative connotations of Mother's Day, but they are certainly free to decide not to celebrate it.

[SparklyUnicorn]

If there is any place that should think hard about how their actions affect people, it's where they go to worship!  :-)

 

ETA: OK, I know a place can't think about anything, but y'all probably know what I mean.

 

Well, I hate flowers.  Not that I actually HATE flowers.  I just don't like receiving them as a gift.  But if someone gives me flowers I know they meant well.  They probably did not know I don't like them.  Who on earth would assume that?!  What offends one person won't offend another.  KWIM?

 

I always find it odd when random strangers wish me happy mother's day.  How would they know I'm a mother? 

[Catwoman]

This isn't deep or insightful and thus not likely helpful, but IMO it ranks high on the Silly Meter. Possibly it blew up the meter.

 

All I could think about was how much longer until it would be over.

 

I'm finding it hard to believe that whoever made it thought it would convey anything meaningful to anyone over five or so.

:iagree:

 

I definitely wouldn't consider it "appalling."

[Catwoman]

Maybe this is a spinoff thread but... WHY do churches do stuff like this? What is the reasoning behind it? There are so many possibilities for hurt feelings and awkwardness, and what does Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc have to do with worshiping God anyway? Do Jews and Muslims have similar things at their worship services? I just don't get it.

I would assume that the main reason churches acknowledge Mother's Day and Father's Day is because they fall on Sundays, and many people attend church on Sunday.

 

I think it would seem kind of odd for them not to mention it in one way or another. I don't think most people are thinking in terms of "hurt feelings and awkwardness," but of doing something nice to honor moms and dads.

[Catwoman]

Thank you. I will never forget when some well-meaning church greeter insisted that I take a Mother's Day gift, even after I said, "No, thank you, I'm not a mother." Obviously, he didn't know my situation, but it was extremely painful. I think it was a book of devotions for mothers that I tossed when I got home. I probably shouldn't have been so upset, but Mother's Day was difficult at the time. I wish people would just *think* a little more.

 

Regarding the video, I don't find things like that at all appropriate for church. Aside from the stereotyping, it shows a lack of reverence.

I think forcing the Mother's Day gift on you was way out of line. :grouphug: I'm sure the guy meant well, but no means no!

[Renai]

I agree.

 

I would assume that churches celebrate Mother's Day because they are trying to do something nice for moms. I think some people are overly sensitive to the idea that a small minority of people might be upset about it. Until I read about it on this forum, it never occurred to me that it would be a problem. I have childless friends and friends with fertility issues and they still celebrate Mother's Day with their own moms or view the day as a way to remember their own moms and grandmothers. I have never heard one of them say that Mother's Day shouldn't be celebrated simply because they weren't moms.

 

Personally, I like Mother's Day. My mom, grandmothers, and MIL enjoyed it while they were alive, as well, and our family takes the time to remember them a little bit extra on that special day. I'm sorry if others have negative connotations of Mother's Day, but they are certainly free to decide not to celebrate it.

 

Our church in TX gave flowers to every woman, not just mothers. They said that any woman could be a friend, aunt, sister, who had a love for the children in their lives.

[Lady Florida.]

More than anything I think it shows that not only are some churches stuck in the 20th century (at the latest), they didn't even make it to the latter half of last century.

 

I think of Mother's Day as a private family thing anyway. I'm not into getting Mother's Day wishes from the wider world. 

[*Lulu*]

Okay, I have seen several of the Skit Guys videos, and all the ones I've seen have been pretty good. A little playing into the stereotypes of Christianity, but with a point. (Usually the bald guy is the "smart" one explaining stuff to the other guy.)

 

This one seemed to be fueling stereotypes instead of dispelling them.

 

Maybe since I only have seen videos prescreened by our church's staff I haven't seen ones like the this before?

 

Maybe they just missed the mark with this one because the idea of perfect moms is ingrained in the culture at large?

 

There were a couple of parts that made me smile, but I don't care for the idea that just because I've given birth I've lost my ability to see my life and children for what and who they really are.

 

Then again, I'm not a huge Mother's Day fan to start with.

[*Lulu*]

I would assume that the main reason churches acknowledge Mother's Day and Father's Day is because they fall on Sundays, and many people attend church on Sunday.

 

I think it would seem kind of odd for them not to mention it in one way or another. I don't think most people are thinking in terms of "hurt feelings and awkwardness," but of doing something nice to honor moms and dads.

I agree that this is where the thought is.

 

Unfortunately it ignores the fact that not all families fit the idealized Leave It To Beaver mold.

 

I like how pp talked about the church focusing on ways that all the women were care givers and important in the lives of their families.

 

Mother's Day is a take it or leave it thing for me. Last year was the first year ever that it was not about what every other person in my larger family wanted. My joy isn't in that manufactured moment of recognition, my joy is found in the little things sprinkled throughout our days and weeks. Those moments are worth so much more to me than any card my kids could buy.

[Shamzanne]

I despise this and would never, ever be part of a church that would show this drivel. It is far removed from what the church is and should be about. 

 

[Tsuga]

One of the pastors I know recently tweeted something like, "Praying for the ladies at the retreat this weekend. Praying even harder for the men at home with the kids." Gah.

 

See, that joke I get. Because even if it was the man away for the weekend, I'd still want someone to pray for me and I'm not even religious... Kids can be a PITA.

 

I'm not a fan of Mother's Day (I prefer Women's Day myself) and those videos are ridiculous. But I'd like to take that pastor's comment in context. He might spend a ton of time with the kids and be a very adept parent.

[MercyA]

I think forcing the Mother's Day gift on you was way out of line. :grouphug: I'm sure the guy meant well, but no means no!

 

Thanks, Cat.  It was an older gentleman, and I'm sure he just wanted to make sure every woman received a gift.  He probably didn't even notice what kind of book it was.  I really shouldn't have taken offense when none was intended.  However, as you said, no means no, and the greeter seemed completely oblivious to my discomfort.  A little sensitivity goes a long way!