TED Talk: Why domestic violence victims don't leave

[Joanne]

 

 

My professional bucket list is to make one about the evil insidiousness that is non physical abuse.

 

The formula and stages apply even in the absence of physical abuse.

 

[Stacia]

So important! Thanks for sharing this great video, Joanne.

[Ravin]

Not sure I'm up to watching it tonight. I've seen a woman choose her abuser over her children. DV is a frequently used ground for termination of parental rights in my state.

 

I consider it a failure of our society that there aren't better mechanisms for breaking this relational pathology.

[Rosie_0801]

My professional bucket list is to make one about the evil insidiousness that is non physical abuse.

 

I'll help send it viral on FB.

[krsmom]

 

 

My professional bucket list is to make one about the evil insidiousness that is non physical abuse.

 

The formula and stages apply even in the absence of physical abuse.

 

What a great idea Joanne. It's easy to know what physical violence is, but often very difficult to define other forms of abuse.

[LucyStoner]

And once some one does leave, our criminal justice and family court systems often work against the victim's interests and needs and de facto work favor of the abuser.

 

I want the law changed so that DV is charged differently and not shoehorned into discreet assault charges. I also think committing DV in front of the kids should be a whole separate charge of child endangerment.

 

It is not easy to leave. My SILs abuser was arrested multiple times before they charged him. He was also involuntarily committed several times when they could have charged him. Each arrest and release told my SIL that the cops wouldn't help her. Handing the victim a brochure is a sorry excuse for policing. I found half a dozen of those brochures when we were helping her set up housekeeping.

[LibraryLover]

That is powerful.

[Ohdanigirl]

I'll help send it viral on FB.

Me too.

[Rosie_0801]

And once some one does leave, our criminal justice and family court systems often work against the victim's interests and needs and de facto work favor of the abuser.

 

 

Yeah. Maintaining a positive front to the children about their other parent is absolutely the civilised thing to do, until it turns a person into an accomplice to their own abuse. It all gets a bit weird from there.

[Ravin]

And once some one does leave, our criminal justice and family court systems often work against the victim's interests and needs and de facto work favor of the abuser.

 

I want the law changed so that DV is charged differently and not shoehorned into discreet assault charges. I also think committing DV in front of the kids should be a whole separate charge of child endangerment.

 

It is not easy to leave. My SILs abuser was arrested multiple times before they charged him. He was also involuntarily committed several times when they could have charged him. Each arrest and release told my SIL that the cops wouldn't help her. Handing the victim a brochure is a sorry excuse for policing. I found half a dozen of those brochures when we were helping her set up housekeeping.

Often charging the abuser isn't worthwhile because it comes down to his word against the victim's that he assaulted her, and DV victims recant. They don't make good witnesses. They refuse to testify our of fear or loyalty or both. It's a lot harder to build a case on impeachment of a victim-witness, even assuming you can even get them on the stand. So prosecutors tend not to bother.

[LucyStoner]

Yeah. Maintaining a positive front to the children about their other parent is absolutely the civilised thing to do, until it turns a person into an accomplice to their own abuse. It all gets a bit weird from there.

And why do these abusers get visitation before the criminal case and social work investigation is concluded and treatment completed and reviewed? I think it sprouts from the utterly antiquated idea that the DV is just something between the adults. No, violence in a child's home in front of them is violence towards them. They need a break from the primary aggressor. My SIL has taken the whole kids need their dads thing to give the abuser more time than the court social worker recommended. Much of the legal help she's received seems to reenforce that idea. I can't decide if it's because she is scared of him or if she wants to pretend her kids have a good dad or because she is taking bad advice. It's tough to watch and there is a razor thin line between supporting the victim by respecting her decisions and endangering the children because the victim can't be their best advocate or may be negligent all on their own due to the past abuse and toxic patterns/dynamics.

[LucyStoner]

Often charging the abuser isn't worthwhile because it comes down to his word against the victim's that he assaulted her, and DV victims recant. They don't make good witnesses. They refuse to testify our of fear or loyalty or both. It's a lot harder to build a case on impeachment of a victim-witness, even assuming you can even get them on the stand. So prosecutors tend not to bother.

In some jurisdictions the victims recanting doesn't matter.

 

By using discreet assault charge to respond to DV we ignore the larger, ongoing pattern that is doing the real damage.

 

Also there is bias. Statistically the conviction rate is correlated to the socioeconomic situation of the victims.

[Rosie_0801]

And why do these abusers get visitation before the criminal case and social work investigation is concluded and treatment completed and reviewed? I think it sprouts from the utterly antiquated idea that the DV is just something between the adults. No, violence in a child's home in front of them is violence towards them. They need a break from the primary aggressor. My SIL has taken the whole kids need their dads thing to give the abuser more time than the court social worker recommended. Much of the legal help she's received seems to reenforce that idea. I can't decide if it's because she is scared of him or if she wants to pretend her kids have a good dad or because she is taking bad advice. It's tough to watch and there is a razor thin line between supporting the victim by respecting her decisions and endangering the children because the victim can't be their best advocate or may be negligent all on their own due to the past abuse and toxic patterns/dynamics.

 

Possibly still trying to behave the way she thinks a good woman should. Anyone with a conscience has to make their peace with it somehow. 

[Ravin]

And why do these abusers get visitation before the criminal case and social work investigation is concluded and treatment completed and reviewed? I think it sprouts from the utterly antiquated idea that the DV is just something between the adults. No, violence in a child's home in front of them is violence towards them. They need a break from the primary aggressor. My SIL has taken the whole kids need their dads thing to give the abuser more time than the court social worker recommended. Much of the legal help she's received seems to reenforce that idea. I can't decide if it's because she is scared of him or if she wants to pretend her kids have a good dad or because she is taking bad advice. It's tough to watch and there is a razor thin line between supporting the victim by respecting her decisions and endangering the children because the victim can't be their best advocate or may be negligent all on their own due to the past abuse and toxic patterns/dynamics.

They may not be charged. They may play the system and get orders of protection and play head games which not all judges see through (apparently) working against the victim to muddy the waters.

 

And that thin line often gets tossed in favor of protecting the children, with CPS involvement. Which may act as a wake up call, or may give the abuser an in to create solidarity and an "us vs them" against the state situation and dig his claws in to the victim's psyche even deeper.

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

Right to share... I shared on FB.

 

My SIL was shot in her car, while trying to leave.

 

 

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

If he doesn't hit me, then it is not abuse... right?   Not by a long shot!

[LucyStoner]

Possibly still trying to behave the way she thinks a good woman should. Anyone with a conscience has to make their peace with it somehow.

I tend to see it as an "all of the above" situation.

 

Still, the needs of the victim may in fact conflict with the best interests of the children. It's dicey. The best outcomes I have seen where the kids are at risk even after the abuser is gone are with strong wraparound supports that address the financial, legal, counseling and health needs of the victim and kids. Such help though is hard to come by and not available everywhere. And not all victims are ready/able to utilize it even when it does happen to be available.

[PrincessMommy]

Thanks for sharing, Joanne.  I hope you will be able to do that video yourself someday soon.

[kiwik]

Right to share... I shared on FB.

 

My SIL was shot in her car, while trying to leave.

I am so sorry to hear that. It is the other major problem though - the most dangerous time is when the woman does leave. Also there are enough problems maintaining your community network when you divorce. If you take your husband to court for assault you are likely to ostracise yourself and lose far more than just your marraige. Also the courts here (NZ) don't often prevent the father seeing the kids (supervision may be ordered though) so the woman often can't leave town to make a new start (not that you can really disappear in NZ anyway) and is forced to constantly deal with the ex and may be subjected to constant custody cases because her ex wants to jerk her round.

[G5052]

Yes, a friend sent this to me earlier, and I sobbed.

 

My father was an abused husband.  It was so very sad, but even when it was over-the-top-bad with multiple professionals and myself trying to intervene, he wouldn't leave.  He was in a nursing home for his last months where he got three meals a day, wore clean clothes, and had a bath every day.  He was regularly denied that at home in his last years because he couldn't do those things himself on top of the physical and emotional abuse that had gone on for ages. They were alerted by his doctor to watch my mother when she visited the nursing home, and he had a roommate.  She had to behave around him.  People say that nursing homes are horrible, but for him it was a tremendous mercy because they took such great care of him away from my mother.  

[TechWife]

Often charging the abuser isn't worthwhile because it comes down to his word against the victim's that he assaulted her, and DV victims recant. They don't make good witnesses. They refuse to testify our of fear or loyalty or both. It's a lot harder to build a case on impeachment of a victim-witness, even assuming you can even get them on the stand. So prosecutors tend not to bother.

 

When my niece's husband assaulted her in front of a police officer, it was taken out of her hands. To this day I am thankful that the police responded to her 911 call quickly. He was assaulting her outside as the police pulled up. The police officer became the witness and she was not required to testify, although she did. That day he was charged with assault, false imprisonment and child endangerment. He was unable to make bail and the time he spent in jail awaiting trial was enough to allow her to move out and finally make a break with him. Unfortunately, his sentence was not very long at all and he was given credit for "time served" as he awaited trial. 

 

Domestic violence is a very scary thing, it not only puts the abused at risk, it puts the responding officers and extended family at risk as well. There aren't words for what I think about abusers.

[TechWife]

Often charging the abuser isn't worthwhile because it comes down to his word against the victim's that he assaulted her, and DV victims recant. They don't make good witnesses. They refuse to testify our of fear or loyalty or both. It's a lot harder to build a case on impeachment of a victim-witness, even assuming you can even get them on the stand. So prosecutors tend not to bother.

 

I'm sorry - but there is often physical evidence that goes along with the victim's testimony. Medical records speak very loudly in many cases, as do neighbors. Oftentimes there are multiple reports from the police from repeated calls to the house, either by the victim, the family or neighbors. A good attorney is careful at crafting a case. Those prosecutors that "tend not to bother" are not good attorneys. 

[TheBugs]

Edited. Understanding why victims don't leave, and recognizing the signs of domestic violence, what can allies do? What legal routes can we take that won't put the victim in further danger?

[umsami]

I know someone in a DV situation and will not leave. The police have been called to the home multiple times and there have been multiple arrests. But the victim told me she always recants, she tells the police she lied. She said the police told her not to call the police again and that they will not help because she has lied so many times. How can this be? Aren't the police trained for these situations? So what can you do in this situation?

 

She may be trying to protect herself or her kids.  It may not make sense to somebody on the outside, but the most dangerous time for a DV survivor is when she leaves, or right after.   We lose three, close to four, women each and every day in the United States to Intimate Partner Violence.  Many of these will have friends who say, "well, she knew he was going to kill her…or she always said he'd kill her."  Nicole Brown Simpson said the same thing.  Attempted choking, a gun in the home all increase risk of death. (Battered women who have been threatened or assaulted with a gun — even once — are 20 times as likely than other battered women to be murdered. Those who have been choked are 10 times more likely to be killed..)

 

 

I've been working in family violence prevention for the past few years.  Things are changing for the better, slowly, but surely.  Some departments are now using tracking devices on offenders, to help enforce restraining orders.  Guns are being removed  in some states from abusers.  Recently, some states got special cameras which can detect bruising before its visible.  

 

Still, we haven't even come close to tackling emotional abuse, financial abuse, etc.  DV among wealthy women is severely underreported, and they can often face a very powerful spouse with unlimited legal resources to really truly ruin them, remove kids, etc.  If a woman was a SAHM, and her husband was the working partner, similar situations can apply….and she can lose her kids and everything else in a nasty divorce case.  

 

 

This is one of the best series I've come across that goes through the 10 different tactics abusers use.  What's interesting is that she includes interviews/statements from abusers.   Trigger Warning, of course.   http://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/one-sided-power-games

[happi duck]

Thanks for posting this.

[Hyacinth]

I have a question about the abuser.

 

In the talk, the speaker said that she walked into a well-laid trap (or something to that effect). I'm wondering if the abuser actually had the foresight to plan such a relationship. "I'll sweet talk her for a while. Then I'll move into the stage where I isolate her. Then I'll start threatening her with a gun." Or is it more of a pattern that the abuser himself doesn't even recognize at the time--one where he seeks more and more control but doesn't know himself where it's going to lead?

 

I don't know if I'm making sense here. Ignore me if I'm not, and I'll try to re-word my question later. Thanks.

[TheBugs]

I don't know what else to say. I think there has to be better training for police in this situation because it seems that taking steps and getting law enforcement involved can cause an escalation in violence.

[Joanne]

I have a question about the abuser.

 

In the talk, the speaker said that she walked into a well-laid trap (or something to that effect). I'm wondering if the abuser actually had the foresight to plan such a relationship. "I'll sweet talk her for a while. Then I'll move into the stage where I isolate her. Then I'll start threatening her with a gun." Or is it more of a pattern that the abuser himself doesn't even recognize at the time--one where he seeks more and more control but doesn't know himself where it's going to lead?

 

I don't know if I'm making sense here. Ignore me if I'm not, and I'll try to re-word my question later. Thanks.

 

No, I got ya. I still struggle with this question. The isolating and removal of access to strong, healthy women in the case of my abuser was *absolutely* planned and deliberate. But the other, creeping areas of progressive control? It is hard to say. He would often say/do things in front of others that I now know are outrageous, but the fact that he'd do or say them in front of others makes me wonder (still) if he knew everything he did.

 

There is not a manual for the progressive abuse dynamic, but the patterns emerge as if there was one. The commonalities are massive. When I give the "power and control wheel" to clients, they often respond with some form of communication that they thought a lot of that was normal.

 

When ex and I went through the Forensic Psychological Evaluation (as a part of the court case he put us in - a tactic mentioned in the TED talk), I asked the Psychologist the same question you just asked. He didn't have an answer, really.

 

*Sometimes*, not often, but *sometimes* I almost feel for the abusers in that they are under-researched, under-treated and we've failed them as well.

Then I remember the last incident when xh lived with me and I say some things I can not repeat here.

[Joanne]

I know someone in a DV situation and will not leave. The police have been called to the home multiple times and there have been multiple arrests. But the victim told me she always recants, she tells the police she lied. She said the police told her not to call the police again and that they will not help because she has lied so many times. How can this be? Aren't the police trained for these situations? So what can you do in this situation?

 

It IS the dynamic. It's not only that she worries about her safety if she leaves. It's that, after all this time, after all these times she did not complete leaving, after all his words, hits, pushes, and punches she believes she is not worthy. She has been stripped of her power. (And don't assume she began the relationship "with low self esteem" because that is a lie from the pit of hell that serves to blame the victim.) However, women often end up without self esteem after years of progressive power, control and abuse.

She is powerless in an insidious way. And each time he abuses her and she doesn't follow through she feels worse about HERSELF, not him. This diminishes her worth even more.

 

She stays because years of staying have created the dynamic in which she can not sustain the momentum to leave. It is unfathomable to those not experienced or educated on it. But it is a very real psychological imprisonment that often comes with a life sentence.

[TheBugs]

Edited. I would appreciate if anyone with links to education and resources for family and friends of victims would provide those links.

 

 

[TheBugs]

...

[Joanne]

I get that. I am not asking why she stays. I am asking why the police won't help or can't help. We have called the police to do welfare checks but it made matters worse I think, in that she has drastically cut of communication with everyone that wants to help.

 

Edited: I am going to just leave this up for a few minutes and then delete all my comments because the abuser person is stalkerish and eventhough I am in a different state and think I am anonymous on this site, you can never be too careful. 

 

The bold is a huge part of the dynamic.

 

 

[Joanne]

Further to my last comment, I do understand that multitude of reasons a victim might stay. What I really am trying to find out is why would the police say not to call ... And what do the friends and family members do because we don't know what to do and calling the police makes things worse and causes more isolation for the victim. So if anyone wants to advise me please send me a PM.

 

I doubt that the police actually said that. I would not believe it unless you heard it from the police yourself.

 

You can offer support, and access to education, and help support any effort towards gaining power on the part of the victim.

[umsami]

There's a great conversation going on Twitter about #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft (some are using #WhenILeft)

 

For resources, try thehotline.org  and http://www.nrcdv.org/dvrn/   Also, local shelters/groups sometimes offer support resources for families.

 

 

ON a side note, this directory of over 3000 shelters in the US recently launched.  https://www.domesticshelters.org

[LucyStoner]

I'm sorry - but there is often physical evidence that goes along with the victim's testimony. Medical records speak very loudly in many cases, as do neighbors. Oftentimes there are multiple reports from the police from repeated calls to the house, either by the victim, the family or neighbors. A good attorney is careful at crafting a case. Those prosecutors that "tend not to bother" are not good attorneys.

The trouble is that in most jurisdictions they can only charge individual assault charges and they can't bring in the pattern evidence like neighbors who consistently saw and heard disturbances, medical records from multiple events even if those assaults weren't reported, history of prior arrests until sentencing. Whereas the defendant can say anything in their own defense.

[LucyStoner]

I have a question about the abuser.

 

In the talk, the speaker said that she walked into a well-laid trap (or something to that effect). I'm wondering if the abuser actually had the foresight to plan such a relationship. "I'll sweet talk her for a while. Then I'll move into the stage where I isolate her. Then I'll start threatening her with a gun." Or is it more of a pattern that the abuser himself doesn't even recognize at the time--one where he seeks more and more control but doesn't know himself where it's going to lead?

 

I don't know if I'm making sense here. Ignore me if I'm not, and I'll try to re-word my question later. Thanks.

I doubt most abusers are all that in control of the plot. I mean, there are probably some who are but usually it seems they are living out a dynamic they themselves learned at home or absorbed from the surrounding culture which enables/reinforces the abuse.

[Rosie_0801]

Bugs, there's not a lot you can do until the victim comes asking. As far as I know, there is no one to call when you suspect/ know bloody well someone is a victim of non-violent DV.

[Ravin]

I'm sorry - but there is often physical evidence that goes along with the victim's testimony. Medical records speak very loudly in many cases, as do neighbors. Oftentimes there are multiple reports from the police from repeated calls to the house, either by the victim, the family or neighbors. A good attorney is careful at crafting a case. Those prosecutors that "tend not to bother" are not good attorneys.

Physical evidence of injury without testimony that the abuser was the one who caused those injuries isn't going to do it. With an uncooperative victim/witness and no third parties, it still won't necessarily stick.

[Laurie4b]

 

My professional bucket list is to make one about the evil insidiousness that is non physical abuse.

 

The formula and stages apply even in the absence of physical abuse.

 

I hope that you will do that. All physical abuse also includes emotional abuse, but not vice versa. Much that starts out as emotional abuse progresses to physical, but even if there is not physical abuse, emotional abuse is devastating for the victims. (As I know that you know).

 

I think the relative absence of things written about emotional abuse compared to physical abuse makes it harder for those women to get help. For instance,the book "Why Does He Do That?"  nails the dynamic of entitlement + culturally supported beliefs about women=abuse. If you give that to someone hoping they will be able to apply it to emotional abuse and become an ally to the woman,  the multiple examples of physical abuse and relative lack of examples of emotional abuse can contribute to the potential ally instead thinking: "this is an over-reaction." I hope I'm being clear! I actually think that the more that is written about emotional abuse the better. It's the precursor to physical abuse and is its own damaging prison for those who experience it. At least other people can see the bruises of a victim of physical abuse. It can be hard for others to see emotional abuse, particularly if the abuser is subtle and foregoes overt verbal abuse/berating/name-calling and employs more mind games that lend plausible deniability for any given instance .

 

So, I hope you do your TED talk!

[Rosie_0801]

In articles and talks about sexual abuse for children, there are prevention recommendations like teaching kids correct names for body parts, etc. Where is the list of prevention recommendations for domestic violence? 

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I'm sorry, but I just can not care. I was physically abused as a child. So were my 11 siblings. My father eventually got 29 years and my mother got 20. My FIL keeps telling me that it wasn't fair, that the judge wouldn't consider my mother not culpable because she was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I don't f***ing care. I'm a mother, and I have zero sympathy for mothers who do not protect their children.

 

Now, my mother has divorced my father, and had turned herself around as much as one can in prison. We have a good, careful, respectful, long distance relationship. She knows what she did was wrong; and she's over trying to make excuses. She didn't protect her children, and that's inexcusable.

[umsami]

In articles and talks about sexual abuse for children, there are prevention recommendations like teaching kids correct names for body parts, etc. Where is the list of prevention recommendations for domestic violence? 

 

 

There are warning signs regarding potential partners….but often times somebody in a new relationship either doesn't acknowledge them or thinks things are not that bad.   Often times it takes sadly a bad previous experience or a friend speaking up.

 

Some lists:

http://laurashouse.org/lhteen/redflags/warning-signs

 

http://www.womenaresafe.org/emotional.html

 

http://news.yahoo.com/check-warning-signs-potential-abusers-050113351.html

 

 

I would also add look for narcissist behavior…as it seems to be common among abusers in my experience.  

http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder

[Rosie_0801]

 I have zero sympathy for mothers who do not protect their children.

 

That is a very, uh, absolute statement. Women can't protect their children from anything they don't know is happening. A fist in the face is obvious. Non-violent abuse often isn't.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

That is a very, uh, absolute statement. Women can't protect their children from anything they don't know is happening. A fist in the face is obvious. Non-violent abuse often isn't.

You're right; I should add qualifiers. I have no sympathy for mothers who watch abuse happening to their children from the man they are living with or are romantically involved with and do nothing to stop it.

[Rosie_0801]

You're right; I should add qualifiers. I have no sympathy for mothers who watch abuse happening to their children from the man they are living with or are romantically involved with and do nothing to stop it.

 

You're asking something very big from very vulnerable people. It's pretty hard to stop someone abusing you if they want to, when they have any rights at all to your children. Most forms of abuse seem to be legal. Assault isn't, but in order for a woman to up and leave, she has to have money, which she probably doesn't; somewhere to go, which she probably doesn't; people who will believe her, which she may not and even if she did, they might not know what to do or how to help because they're afraid too.

 

I know you're seeing this from a mother's perspective, but you are missing the abused wife's perspective. Divorce doesn't end it.

[umsami]

You're asking something very big from very vulnerable people. It's pretty hard to stop someone abusing you if they want to, when they have any rights at all to your children. Most forms of abuse seem to be legal. Assault isn't, but in order for a woman to up and leave, she has to have money, which she probably doesn't; somewhere to go, which she probably doesn't; people who will believe her, which she may not and even if she did, they might not know what to do or how to help because they're afraid too.

 

I know you're seeing this from a mother's perspective, but you are missing the abused wife's perspective. Divorce doesn't end it.

 

Rosie brings up a really good point.  I know some survivors who stay precisely because they don't want their husband to have even partial custody due to abuse (emotional and/or physical).   Many US states have moved to joint custody agreements/50-50 by default….and proving otherwise, can be very difficult…especially if the partner has more financial/legal resources.  

[Rosie_0801]

There are warning signs regarding potential partners….but often times somebody in a new relationship either doesn't acknowledge them or thinks things are not that bad.   Often times it takes sadly a bad previous experience or a friend speaking up.

 

Some lists:

http://laurashouse.org/lhteen/redflags/warning-signs

 

http://www.womenaresafe.org/emotional.html

 

http://news.yahoo.com/check-warning-signs-potential-abusers-050113351.html

 

 

I would also add look for narcissist behavior…as it seems to be common among abusers in my experience.  

http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder

 

They aren't enough. These things slip by because each individual incident seems fairly reasonable.

 

If someone was asking me, I think I'd tell them to talk to their new partner's ex's relatives.

[umsami]

They aren't enough. These things slip by because each individual incident seems fairly reasonable.

 

If someone was asking me, I think I'd tell them to talk to their new partner's ex's relatives.

 

Yes, if that's available.  

 

There are some people pushing for public DV registries in various countries.  There's also been talk about creating one in the Muslim-American community, especially as it seems like abusers will just go find another poor-girl "back home" to marry.  

[Mergath]

I doubt that the police actually said that. I would not believe it unless you heard it from the police yourself.

 

 

You might be surprised.  Years ago, back before dh found a working treatment for his bipolar disorder, he got drunk one night and was threatening to kill me.  Dd was a baby, it was the dead of winter in MN, and dh told me that if I wasn't out of the house in ten minutes he was going to kill me.  So I called the police.  The cops talked to dh (who then left to stay in a hotel for the night) but after they finished taking my statement one of the cops said, "We aren't the drunk police.  Don't call us for something like this again."  For some reason, if the abuser is also an alcoholic, the cops seem less inclined to take the abuse seriously.

 

I also had one cop (during a different incident) tell me that if I just found Jesus, all my problems with dh and everything else would go away.

 

I like most cops and I respect them as a group, but some are asshats.

[Liz CA]

So - off topic - but can we still link YouTube and TED talks after SWB's request to strictly use only text or photos we wrote / took ourselves? YouTube, Google Images and TED are considered public and not copyrighted, yes? Or no?