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S/O what age to leave kids home alone?


Just Kate
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Dd and I are getting hair cuts in the morning and ds (age 10) doesn't want to come along. I imagine we will be gone around 2.5 hours. Is that too long for a 10 year old boy to stay home alone?

 

Ds is pretty responsible. He will stay in the house and won't use any kitchen appliances. He would also have a cell phone on him.

 

My husband (who's out of town) says leave him. But I'm unsure. WDYT?

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I leave my 9 yo that long.  It would be no problem for him.  He has a cell phone in case he needs me or dh.

 

On the other hand, that might be a long leave if it's really his first time home alone.  Mine have had lots of practice and they started first with 20-30 minutes and then got to practice more by being "alone" but with dh upstairs asleep (he works nights) for longer.  I think if I left one of them alone for 2.5 hours cold it might be nerve wracking and I wouldn't want that.  But if he's up for it, then I still think it's fine.

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I leave my 9 yo that long. It would be no problem for him. He has a cell phone in case he needs me or dh.

 

On the other hand, that might be a long leave if it's really his first time home alone. Mine have had lots of practice and they started first with 20-30 minutes and then got to practice more by being "alone" but with dh upstairs asleep (he works nights) for longer. I think if I left one of them alone for 2.5 hours cold it might be nerve wracking and I wouldn't want that. But if he's up for it, then I still think it's fine.

Good point. Ds has stayed home alone before but never for that long.

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I think it's too long to leave him for the first time but I don't think it's always wrong for every 10 yr old. I'd want to start with short trips of about 30min or less, then build up to an hour or so, etc. If he was used to being alone for an hour or so I'd think it was no big deal. My DS's school sent home guidance when he was younger that recommended leaving kids for short trips alone starting at age 9/10.

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I would be fine leaving my 10 year old that long…but he's stayed by himself before for shorter time periods.  I would start with a shorter time frame.  One thing that is important to my DS is knowing exactly when we'll be home, and having me call should I be delayed.  Otherwise, he worries.

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I would, but I would also want to have an agreement with him about what he *would* be doing for that time. Does he plan to read? Watch a movie? Have a snack? Etc. And he would need to have a backup pan in case he couldn't reach me (reception issues, etc.).

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I wouldn't have left my daughter that long at that age because she would have freaked out.  I was the same way at that age.  I wouldn't  have been comfortable at all being left for 2.5 hours when I was 10.  I think a lot of it depends on the child.

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I've started leaving my kids home alone for very short trips around age 9, then worked up to longer stretches. 

 

I would leave him home. You won't be doing anything that keeps you from your phone, and he sounds comfortable with staying home. 

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How far from home will you be?

 

I think 2.5 hours is pretty long, especially for the first time, and I have to admit that I wouldn't have left my ds home alone at all at that age, but if you want to give it a try, I think there's a big difference between being able to get back home in 5 minutes and being an hour away.

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Please tell me that whomever rated this thread with one star did it by accident. :glare:

 

I'm giving it 5 stars in retaliation. :D

Lol Thank you for that. And I appreciate the 5 star love. :)

 

As for Ds, I decided to take him to my parents' tomorrow. I made the mistake of asking their opinion (why do I do that?) and they worry that he's too young. I have left him for thirty minutes or so before, and I honestly think he would do fine tomorrow. But it's not going to hurt him to wait a bit I guess.

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Lol Thank you for that. And I appreciate the 5 star love. :)

 

As for Ds, I decided to take him to my parents' tomorrow. I made the mistake of asking their opinion (why do I do that?) and they worry that he's too young. I have left him for thirty minutes or so before, and I honestly think he would do fine tomorrow. But it's not going to hurt him to wait a bit I guess.

He will probably have a good time with your parents anyway, so unless it's out of your way to take him there, everything will work out just fine.

 

I suspect that if you think he would be fine being alone in the house, you're probably right, though. :)

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The salon is about 10 minutes from my house and my parents live less than 5 minutes from the salon. No big deal really...other than I'm annoyed that I didn't just trust my own gut (and the Hive!) and instead asked my parents. Oh well.

You'll have plenty of other opportunities, so don't beat yourself up! :)

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My oldest two have both been allowed to stay home starting at 9. My youngest will probably be older before I let him stay home alone. He's much more impulsive. My oldest one had to show me that he knew how to call dh's cell and the neighbours before I started leaving him for about 30min and then once we hit a spot where he called me to ask a question I felt better about leaving him for longer because I knew after that, that he would call if he needed to.

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Here the child has to have reasonable supervision until 14. At 10 that would be someone in the house but by 12 an available neighbour might count as long as nothing actually happened and you weren't gone long. Of course if something did happen you may be prosecuted. Once they turn 14 they are magically not only old enough to care for themselves but also able to care for younger kids.

 

Afterschool and holiday programmed cater for children up to 13.

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Here the child has to have reasonable supervision until 14...Once they turn 14 they are magically not only old enough to care for themselves but also able to care for younger kids.

 

Afterschool and holiday programmed cater for children up to 13.

We have the same basic circumstances here, but the age is 12. After school care is provided for elementary school only. High school begins at age 12 (7th grade) and they are expected to care for themselves at that point. An exception is made for 11 year olds who have taken the Red Cross babysitting course. Both of my kids took the class, not so much for the babysitting, but to be able to stay home alone a few months earlier, lol!

 

I don't know if it is illegal to leave kids younger than 12 alone, but I know 11-12 is definitely legal. As a homeschooler, I prefer to err on the side of caution. If anything did happen, I wouldn't want the authorities to have any cause to claim neglect.

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So, for anyone who is curious, I decided to leave ds home alone yesterday while dd and I got cuts/color (well, I got color). And.....he did fine. :)

 

I was able to text him several times while we were gone and then I called him when we left. He watched tv and played minecraft on his ipod. That's it!

 

So glad I gave him the chance to grow up a little. Thanks for all the advice.

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