You know you've let go when...

[Chris in VA]

You are decluttering a cabinet and come across the sympathy cards sent to you when your brother died, and you read each one, and then you are able to throw them away. 

 

My friend was rather appalled at me for doing so, but I told her they did not contain any anecdotes about him, or really any connection to him at all, but were just signs of kindness towards me (they were mostly from parishoners, and my brother died 9 years ago). I knew I'd never read them again. It felt kinda weird, but I did it anyway.

 

Would you have tossed them?

 

 

[Miss Peregrine]

Yes, I would have.

 

:grouphug:

[Spryte]

Yes, I would have tossed them.  I don't save cards.  Maybe if they had contained something very personal, but not generally. Your brother wasn't in the cards, his memory is in your heart.

 

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Liz CA]

Yes. No question. It's a good sign that you were able to appreciate the cards and then discard them since it has been 9 years. You have grieved and processed it.

[Miss Mousie]

Yes, as you describe those particular cards, I would have tossed them.  I'd save the ones that contained some special handwritten message, maybe, but not just "with sympathy, Mrs. George Smith" types.

 

 

[marbel]

Yes, I would have tossed them.  I only keep cards with something personal and meaningful written in them.

 

[Heatherwith4]

Yes.

[Catwoman]

If you were comfortable tossing them, it was the right thing to do. :grouphug:

[Freckles]

Yes, I would have thrown them away. I only keep very very personal or sentimental cards made by my husband who is an artist or my children.

[Cindy in FL.]

I think that it is a very personal matter, so it would be whatever works for you. I have my mementos from my brother in a box that personal checks come in, so very small. I also have the book from his funeral and some of the more personal cards. I have a bigger box of my mom's stuff. I go through them once a year or so.

[gardenmom5]

yes.

 

(my mother died in 09. I don't think I have any cards. none of them were about her - just generic sympathy cards.)

[Beth S]

Actually, I'm glad you shared this.  It motivates me to write more of a rememberance in a sympathy card--not just sign my name.

 

[elegantlion]

Yes, I would have. 

[Scarlett]

You are decluttering a cabinet and come across the sympathy cards sent to you when your brother died, and you read each one, and then you are able to throw them away. 

 

My friend was rather appalled at me for doing so, but I told her they did not contain any anecdotes about him, or really any connection to him at all, but were just signs of kindness towards me (they were mostly from parishoners, and my brother died 9 years ago). I knew I'd never read them again. It felt kinda weird, but I did it anyway.

 

Would you have tossed them?

 

 

Yes.  (((hugs)))

[Susan in TX]

Yes. After the death of my MIL and having to deal with all of her stuff, I throw a lot more away. The question I ask myself is: Do I want my kids to have to deal with this when I'm dead? IF the answer is "no" than out it goes.

 

Susan in TX

[HRAAB]

Now I'm wondering what I did with the sympathy cards for my mom and dad.  Probably in a box somewhere.  I think unless they said something very particular, I would toss them.  If you're comfortable with that, then I think that's the right thing to do.  Life moves on.  Plus I'm not one to keep cards.  My mother on the other hand kept almost every car she ever got.  I did throw all of those out except a few from my dad to her that were very special.

 

It's a good feeling - for me anyway - to move forward and let go.

[PrincessMommy]

I threw away all but 2 cards I received when my mom died back in March.  This was only because those two were written by friends who didn't know my mom personally but understood me and what I was going through.  They said some very personal things about their own experience with grief and it touched me. 

[Truscifi]

Yes.

[marbel]

Yes. After the death of my MIL and having to deal with all of her stuff, I throw a lot more away. The question I ask myself is: Do I want my kids to have to deal with this when I'm dead? IF the answer is "no" than out it goes.

 

Susan in TX

 

Asking that question has helped me to get rid of a lot of things. I think it is an important question to ask as we get older.  It can be hard to give away "precious" things but will they be precious or just something to deal with when our kids have to deal with our stuff?   (Obviously there are things that should be handed down but I'm talking about things are are essentially meaningless like cards with a signature and no other message on them, etc.)

[-M-]

You are decluttering a cabinet and come across the sympathy cards sent to you when your brother died, and you read each one, and then you are able to throw them away. 

 

My friend was rather appalled at me for doing so, but I told her they did not contain any anecdotes about him, or really any connection to him at all, but were just signs of kindness towards me (they were mostly from parishoners, and my brother died 9 years ago). I knew I'd never read them again. It felt kinda weird, but I did it anyway.

 

Would you have tossed them?

 

Yes, I would have discarded them. I discarded items like that -- and much more -- over the last three years. You must do what feels right for you. I know your friend likely meant no harm, but I am always surprised when folks try to define or limit the grief of others. The experience of loss is so... personal.

[Meadowlark]

My brother died 4 years ago. I did not keep any cards at all. I hadn't really thought of it though until I read your post. I kept other sentimental things such as the eagle on his casket. So no, I am not the type to keep those things (unless from my husband or kids). Now, I just packed up baby clothes to consign, and oh my, it was like Niagra Falls and SO hard on me. Everyone has their thing I guess.