Homeschool fail

[Scarlett]

My ds13 was attempting to count the months until he turns 14. It went something like this

 

October, August, September, March.....wait, wait, August, November, October.....wait, wait. I got this....I was standing in front of him mouth open, dumbfounded. He finally started at January and was able to easily recite all 12 months to my decided relief!

 

Any homeschool fails you want to share?

[PeterPan]

Man, I take neither credit nor blame for 13.  My dd spent a couple years around then telling me 3+4 was 8.  She finally grew out of it.   :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Tammi K]

One of mine insisted that London was the capitol of Paris.

[GSOchristie]

My son is very bright as far as math goes, people are always commenting on it and it did make me just a *tiny* bit prideful.  One day at our co-op someone asked how many months until his birthday, to which he replied, "what month is it?"  He then proceeded to mix days of the weeks in with months, in the wrong order.  Pride officially gone, yep, we never did calendar, or looked at a calendar, or bothered to learn how our society counts time at all.  

[Catwoman]

My ds13 was attempting to count the months until he turns 14. It went something like this

 

October, August, September, March.....wait, wait, August, November, October.....wait, wait. I got this....I was standing in front of him mouth open, dumbfounded. He finally started at January and was able to easily recite all 12 months to my decided relief!

 

Any homeschool fails you want to share?

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it! :D

[Guest submarines]

While it isn't exactly a "fail" in my opinion, but it was funny to me.

 

DS, at 5.5, wasn't interested in counting, and we were not into early academics, so I never explicitly taught him, only modeled. Another mom at a playground was actively "educating" her very advanced 2 year old. "Can you read this? Can you count that? How do you say this in French?" and so on.

 

DS watched her for a little bit, and then eagerly exclaimed: "I can count! One, two, three, five, nineteen, eight, one hundred!" He stood there, very proud of himself. The other mom stared at me like I was a total failure. That was 2 minutes after I told her that we homeschooled.  :smilielol5:

[Lisa in SC]

Just last night, older ds asked dh if he could please check the tracking to see where the lawn mower carburetor ds had ordered was currently, and when it was scheduled to be delivered. He had also ordered a gasket from a different company. Dh checked and informed him that one part was in Minnesota, and the other was in Idaho. Ds seriously asked, "Which state is closer to us?" I looked over at dh and said, "Homeschool fail." All three of us laughed. Ds does know geography...but he is 14. Fortunately, he is my 3rd child, so I know it was one of many puberty-induced brain fogs. It'll come back to him in a year or two.

[Scarlett]

Oh you guys are making me feel better.

 

I also failed on the handwriting front. :/.

 

But he can do algebra.

[Scarlett]

While it isn't exactly a "fail" in my opinion, but it was funny to me.

 

DS, at 5.5, wasn't interested in counting, and we were not into early academics, so I never explicitly taught him, only modeled. Another mom at a playground was actively "educating" her very advanced 2 year old. "Can you read this? Can you count that? How do you say this in French?" and so on.

 

DS watched her for a little bit, and then eagerly exclaimed: "I can count! One, two, three, five, nineteen, eight, one hundred!" He stood there, very proud of himself. The other mom stared at me like I was a total failure. That was 2 minutes after I told her that we homeschooled. :smilielol5:

That is hilarious.

[Scarlett]

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it! :D

But hey don't forget he understands the science of leverage.

[MyThreeSons]

I should probably post this anonymously, but my 18yo cannot tie his shoes. He did learn how, when he was something like five or six, but he has some sensory issues and doesn't like shoes at all, let alone tight shoes. So, when he absolutely must wear shoes, he generally just snugs up the laces a little and tucks the ends inside his shoes. Yes, I know it seems like the laces inside would trigger more sensory issues, but that's the way he does it. He keeps his soccer cleats tied, and slips them on and off.

 

I really think he could re-learn fairly quickly, but he is going to need to want to learn first. 

[Dmmetler]

About a week ago my accelerated, reading at a post high school level 8 yr old couldn't tell DH how many letters were in the English alphabet-although she did know Latin and Greek

[Scarlett]

I should probably post this anonymously, but my 18yo cannot tie his shoes. He did learn how, when he was something like five or six, but he has some sensory issues and doesn't like shoes at all, let alone tight shoes. So, when he absolutely must wear shoes, he generally just snugs up the laces a little and tucks the ends inside his shoes. Yes, I know it seems like the laces inside would trigger more sensory issues, but that's the way he does it. He keeps his soccer cleats tied, and slips them on and off.

 

I really think he could re-learn fairly quickly, but he is going to need to want to learn first.

Yes....the wanting to......my ds learned to tie his shoes at age 4. He watched me intently and then practiced very seriously through one entire Sunday morning service. Oh how I wish he wanted to learn how to write cursive.

[Scarlett]

Oh and since I'm telling on ds13 he also pronounced eligible like legible without the L. And when I corrected him he told me he was "pretty sure" he is right.

[redsquirrel]

I have had so many parents tell me their kids don't know the months of the year that I am more surprised when I meet one who does. It's like we spend all this time in 2nd or 3rd grade making them memorize it, and then never truly make them use it again until they are older. It just evaporates in the meantime.

 

And I know quite a few middle school age kids who cannot read a clock face. They understand time but have only seen digital clocks, so little hand and big hand elude them. They get all flustered in my house because we don't have any digital clocks on display. My son takes perverse joy in wearing a watch with only 12, 3, 6 and 9....in Roman numerals.

 

But, before you think he is hot stuff, he is in 8th grade and due to only wearing slip on shoes or velcro he cannot tie laces.

[Scarlett]

About a week ago my accelerated, reading at a post high school level 8 yr old couldn't tell DH how many letters were in the English alphabet-although she did know Latin and Greek

Ha ha...love it.

[Kareni]

I remember my teenaged daughter asking once why veterinarians were so often out of work. She'd just seen a man on a corner with an "out of work vet" sign. 

Regards,
Kareni

[Scarlett]

I remember my teenaged daughter asking once why veterinarians were so often out of work. She'd just seen a man on a corner with an "out of work vet" sign.

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

LOL. Priceless! Love it.

[Mrs Mungo]

Have him read Chicken Soup with Rice over and over, lol.

[jeninok]

My 12 year old can't ride a bike, can't even walk next to a bike without falling over, but he can skateboard??

 

He thought the civil and revolutionary wars were the same thing, and announced it loudly in the middle of a special exhibition about George Washington at the museum this spring.  We were there at noon on a tuesday and he had already happily told everyone who made eye contact that he homeschooled......  :lol:

[Scarlett]

Oh my word. All of these are just making me laugh so hard.

 

My son does know how many claps there are in the Friends theme song. A fact he hotly debated with his step brother recently.

[Scarlett]

Have him read Chicken Soup with Rice over and over, lol.

Ha ha .....that would show him.

[Hypatia.]

With the help of YouTube, my 9 and 7 year olds finally learned how to tie their shoes today.  DS1 had forgotten and needed a refresher after a summer of wearing sandals, he was very peeved when DD1 figured it out before he did.

[Tiramisu]

No one has mentioned reading a clock.

 

:001_unsure:

[Scarlett]

I wouldn't allow ds to have a digital clock in his room or a digital watch until he learned to read analog. He still struggles with it though....like handwriting I wonder if it really matters in the grand scheme of things.

[kewb]

No digital clocks/watches allowed until you can read an analog clock in our house.

 

One of my many fails..My 13 year old dd forgot The Pledge of Allegiance. 

[Onceuponatime]

In second grade, while we were visiting DC, someone quizzed dd about Abraham Lincoln. She had never heard of him before. I'm thinking, "Wait, you don't understand, we are  doing a history cycle and we haven't got to him yet. Ask her about Alexander the Great."

 

In fourth grade, she totally failed the maps/geography portion of the ITBS. I mean a big fat 0. She had no idea what any of the questions meant. Mea Culpa.

[Tess in the Burbs]

This week both my kids wrote down Wednesday on paper with their spellings no where close. I know we learned this years ago!!!

[Heather in Neverland]

My oldest ds is a notoriously bad speller. We were watching the spelling bee on TV a few years ago and we were laughing about how he will never be on that competition.

 

He said with mock indignance, "Hey! I can spell!"

I said, "OK. Then spell GIRAFFE."

 

He said "G, E, R... I mean J, I, R... Oh, wait. I forgot the H."

 

Dh and I were laughing so hard! So that is a family joke now. Whenever someone is spelling something we say "oh, wait. I forgot the H!"

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I was writing out the math notebooks for the week. I did ds's first. Some 2's multiplication problems, some adding, basic subtraction, intro to 3's multiplication.

 

Then I did dd's. some adding and subtraction review questions, fairly big numbers. Divisibility rules, some multiplication.

 

Then I realized.... I never taught ds subtraction with borrowing! Oops. We started it that day. Lol.

[Tiramisu]

I wouldn't allow ds to have a digital clock in his room or a digital watch until he learned to read analog. He still struggles with it though....like handwriting I wonder if it really matters in the grand scheme of things.

 

 

No digital clocks/watches allowed until you can read an analog clock in our house.

 

One of my many fails..My 13 year old dd forgot The Pledge of Allegiance. 

 

We taught it at the age appropriate time, say 1st and 2nd grade, but for some reason, it does not stick well or come naturally, and we use analog clocks. 

 

ETA: Mine with dx'd processing issues says she can read the clock but she has to look at it and then close her eyes to be able to say what time it is.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

AMDG

 

Oh, Brother!  Where to start . . .?

 

I didn't allow digital until she had "mastered" analogue but, years later, she *can* tell time on an analogue but won't without being coerced.

 

My seriously brilliant 14 year old kid writes like a struggling first grader.  Her penmanship used to be just dreadful, though it is improving.  And I really do feel that this is a fail on my part. I used to think that it wouldn't matter but I don't think that anymore.  I worry about the simple act of writing a nice hand-written note to someone.  I worry about the essay component of the SAT.  I worry about note-taking in college.  I used to think that she could just type them but lately I have terped a couple of university classes and in one, they aren't allowed and in another, while they don't seem to be expressly disallowed, only one or two kids use them.

 

On the other hand . . . my kid is probably the kindest person I know.  She is genuinely sweet to everyone and never excludes anyone.  She is devout, LOVES poetry, and is super sharp in math, is so creative and loves to sew.  I wouln't trade!  I wouldn't do anything to shift the balance.  Like Barbara Streisand and her nose: one or two things might not be perfect but I wouldn't for the world change what I've got.

 

Oh, and we had almost exactly the same experience as a pp but with George Washington instead of Abraham Lincoln.

 

 

[elegantlion]

I have to endlessly remind ds to put his name and date on his papers. So he will often write "name" and "date" instead. 

[Scarlett]

I have to endlessly remind ds to put his name and date on his papers. So he will often write "name" and "date" instead.

LOL. my ds13 has done this.

[Guest submarines]

In second grade, while we were visiting DC, someone quizzed dd about Abraham Lincoln. She had never heard of him before. I'm thinking, "Wait, you don't understand, we are  doing a history cycle and we haven't got to him yet. Ask her about Alexander the Great."

 

In fourth grade, she totally failed the maps/geography portion of the ITBS. I mean a big fat 0. She had no idea what any of the questions meant. Mea Culpa.

 

I know it is a for laughs thread, but I have a serious questions to those who do a history cycle. Don't you talk about other historical figures if the context arises? Why not? Is it believed that "mixing" history and doing it out of order is detrimental? 

 

My kids are into ancient China and Japan right now, but if we were visiting DC, I can't imagine not talking to them about Abraham Lincoln, among other things before hand. But we do do history out of order, and my kids *are* often confused about the time line.  :w00t:

[Guest submarines]

AMDG

 

Oh, Brother!  Where to start . . .?

 

I didn't allow digital until she had "mastered" analogue but, years later, she *can* tell time on an analogue but won't without being coerced.

 

My seriously brilliant 14 year old kid writes like a struggling first grader.  Her penmanship used to be just dreadful, though it is improving.  And I really do feel that this is a fail on my part. I used to think that it wouldn't matter but I don't think that anymore.  I worry about the simple act of writing a nice hand-written note to someone.  I worry about the essay component of the SAT.  I worry about note-taking in college.  I used to think that she could just type them but lately I have terped a couple of university classes and in one, they aren't allowed and in another, while they don't seem to be expressly disallowed, only one or two kids use them.

 

On the other hand . . . my kid is probably the kindest person I know.  She is genuinely sweet to everyone and never excludes anyone.  She is devout, LOVES poetry, and is super sharp in math, is so creative and loves to sew.  I wouln't trade!  I wouldn't do anything to shift the balance.  Like Barbara Streisand and her nose: one or two things might not be perfect but I wouldn't for the world change what I've got.

 

Oh, and we had almost exactly the same experience as a pp but with George Washington instead of Abraham Lincoln.

:001_wub:  :001_wub:  :001_wub:  :001_wub:  :001_wub:  :001_wub:  I love this. 

[Scarlett]

I know it is a for laughs thread, but I have a serious questions to those who do a history cycle. Don't you talk about other historical figures if the context arises? Why not? Is it believed that "mixing" history and doing it out of order is detrimental?

 

My kids are into ancient China and Japan right now, but if we were visiting DC, I can't imagine not talking to them about Abraham Lincoln, among other things before hand. But we do do history out of order, and my kids *are* often confused about the time line. :w00t:

Sure but sometimes an entire historical figure gets missed in daily conversation.

[Onceuponatime]

I know it is a for laughs thread, but I have a serious questions to those who do a history cycle. Don't you talk about other historical figures if the context arises? Why not? Is it believed that "mixing" history and doing it out of order is detrimental? 

 

My kids are into ancient China and Japan right now, but if we were visiting DC, I can't imagine not talking to them about Abraham Lincoln, among other things before hand. But we do do history out of order, and my kids *are* often confused about the time line.  :w00t:

 

Of course it's not detrimental. It's just that no parent can be prepared for *every* eventuality, especially a first timer. I still call dd my guinea pig.  I did much better the 2nd - 5th times around. I'm practically a pro now.

[Guest submarines]

Of course it's not detrimental. It's just that no parent can be prepared for *every* eventuality, especially a first timer. I still call dd my guinea pig.  I did much better the 2nd - 5th times around. I'm practically a pro now.

Thanks! I just wasn't sure. I totally understand what you mean, I have guinea pigs too, and just having 3 will never achieve a pro status.  :001_cool:

[mommyto4]

My oldest ds is a notoriously bad speller. We were watching the spelling bee on TV a few years ago and we were laughing about how he will never be on that competition.

 

He said with mock indignance, "Hey! I can spell!"

I said, "OK. Then spell GIRAFFE."

 

He said "G, E, R... I mean J, I, R... Oh, wait. I forgot the H."

 

Dh and I were laughing so hard! So that is a family joke now. Whenever someone is spelling something we say "oh, wait. I forgot the H!"

 

Thanks for the laugh... my daughter keeps asking why I am laughing!  I have a very, very poor speller here too, so I can totally relate.

[SailorMom]

I don't think you can really call yourself a homeschooler until you've experienced at least a few really humbling 'fails', lol :)

Those people at parks and grocery stores who want to quiz our 3rd graders on ancient Chinese poetry to prove public school is better make sure of it :scared:

We've had a quite a few where I followed my DH around the house desperately explaining why the kids hadn't "gotten to that yet"!

[mathmarm]

Not homeschooling yet per se, but I have been a teacher for a long, long time. I can share a boat load of If-You-Recieved-A-General-Education-Doesn't-Matter-Where-You-Went-To-School-You-Should-Know-This type of fails.

 

I have included questions that include pictures of analog clocks in questions on tests and quizzes and had even "good" math students miss them utterly.

I have had students not be able to spell common nouns/words

 

I have had students taking a test in my stats class not know all sorts of things that I learned in 1st-3rd grade.

Things that my college and high-school statistics students haven't known in the past:

how many ounces in a lb,

objects in a dozen (and bakers dozen)

days in a leap year

letters in the alphabet <-- This I 100% refuse to tell them!

US Presidents there have been

How many stars and stripes on the US Flag

How many planets in the solar system

States in the United States of America (seriously? Seriously?!!)

Cards in a standard Deck**

The basic definition of a mammal, reptile, fish or bird (The kiddy ones that you learn between 2nd and 4th grade!)

 

I can understand one or two type brain freezes every once in a while, or even just now knowing something, but to have several of my students who are high-school graduates and 2nd year college students, in a single class  lack this type of basic and common knowledge really irritates me and I refuse to tell them after a point. I had students go to the Dean about this, saying I didn't prepare them for the test properly and included tricky or unrelated questions on the tests or quizzes!!!

 

Now, I hand out a page of these type references on the first day of class and tell them to learn that info if they don't.

I do NOT give this sort of basic knowledge during tests or class.

 

**I have had several students fail to figure this out even when I give them clues/hints.

 

Me (when asked about the cards): Please remember that there are 4 suits and each suit has an A, 2-10, J, Q, and K. There are no Jokers in the deck"

Student: But what does that mean?

Me (thinking): This is college statistics, not elementary school. I want you to figure it out!!!

Me (aloud): Count the cards in each suit and find the number, now quiet please, we are having a quiz.

Student: I don't know what suits your talking about. There are only red and black cards.

Me: There are 13 cards in each suit of cards.

Student: But there are only 2 kinds!!!

Me: ....Ok, just write your definition/assumtion about a deck of cards and then do your best.

 

Trust me, your home-school fails aren't unique or unusual.

[alisoncooks]

Related to a homeschool fail (more like house-cleaning fail):

When my oldest was about 5, and was practicing CVC words, she needed explanation to understand what a m-o-p was.  

She had never seen one.

:huh:  :eek:  :o  :o

[J-rap]

My daughter didn't know our home phone number for a long time.  I mean, a LONG time.  I guess she never needed to fill out a form or call home!

[Kareni]

My daughter didn't know our home phone number for a long time.  I mean, a LONG time.  I guess she never needed to fill out a form or call home!

 

I suspect that with the popularity of cell phones (with their address books) that this will become even more common among young people.

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

[Scarlett]

I suspect that with the popularity of cell phones (with their address books) that this will become even more common among young people.

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

I agree. It is one thing I've been obsessive about with ds....making him memorize my cellphone number even though he has a cell phone. I fear (irrationally) that he won't be able to connect with me if we get separated.

[Catwoman]

I agree. It is one thing I've been obsessive about with ds....making him memorize my cellphone number even though he has a cell phone. I fear (irrationally) that he won't be able to connect with me if we get separated.

Same here. We bought ds13 his first cell phone when he was 4 years old, and I had him memorize a bunch of phone numbers in case we ever got separated or if he was with us and there was an accident which made it necessary for him to call his grandparents for help. Of course, now I realize it was complete overkill to have him learn our home number, one of our office numbers, my cell number, dh's cell number, and my parents' home and cell numbers.

 

I was such a paranoid idiot, but I really wanted him to be prepared. :rolleyes:

 

PS. I'm glad you started this thread -- it was a great idea! I keep reading the comments as they're posted and I can identify with more of them than I'd like to admit! :blush:

[mathmarm]

My daughter didn't know our home phone number for a long time.  I mean, a LONG time.  I guess she never needed to fill out a form or call home!

When I went to school, one of the first assignments we received (think it the first week of school) was knowing our personal contact information: correct/proper names--a lot of kids went by nicknames that had nothing to do what was on their birth certificate!--addresses, phone number, dads work number and our parents names.

This was before identity theft was common so the teacher taped a card with this type of information on each students desk during the first quarter of school. We played games with this information in class, and a type of Person Bingo too!

 

Our parents were expected to work on this with the kids at home and nearly everyone learned this information during the first couple of weeks at school. Kids got this assignment all throughout PreK, Kindergarten and 1st grade. Writing all of this information neatly on a form was part of the first grade end of the year exit exam!

 

I still memorize peoples phone numbers!

[Scarlett]

I love reading the fails too.

 

Anybody else?

[Scarlett]

When I went to school, one of the first assignments we received (think it the first week of school) was knowing our personal contact information: correct/proper names--a lot of kids went by nicknames that had nothing to do what was on their birth certificate!--addresses, phone number, dads work number and our parents names.

This was before identity theft was common so the teacher taped a card with this type of information on each students desk during the first quarter of school. We played games with this information in class, and a type of Person Bingo too!

 

Our parents were expected to work on this with the kids at home and nearly everyone learned this information during the first couple of weeks at school. Kids got this assignment all throughout PreK, Kindergarten and 1st grade. Writing all of this information neatly on a form was part of the first grade end of the year exit exam!

 

I still memorize peoples phone numbers!

Twice recently, when given bad news about friends long in my past, their phone numbers popped into my mind. Very freaky.