Mother's Day gifts at church - PLEASE help!

[eaglei]

Our pastor is looking for a more *meaningful* gift for the moms this year. He doesn't want to do flowers, that will be pretty for a few days, then die. Rather, something with long-lasting value - like a mother's love.

 

Any suggestions?

 

I'll check back later, hoping for HELP! :001_smile:

 

Thank You!

[Rebecca VA]

A plant? You can buy pretty pots of flowers or small indoor plants. The church can plant trees in their honor.

[hmvaughan4]

http://www.crunchybetty.com/diy-picture-tiles-you-will-never-buy-a-photo-frame-again

 

I used to make these for the kids that I taught. I'm not sure how possible it would be with a large group of kids though. They're pretty inexpensive and very cute!

[Chelli]

 

This came across my Pinterest feed the other day. I thought it was really cute.

[Tita Gidge]

Maybe a nice vase to go with the live flowers? Or in that vein, silk flowers made into a pin?

 

We're Catholic, so last year my daughter's catechism class did rosaries. A parishioner donated the beads, and to keep down costs each child got to chose between a rosary bracelet, a chapelet, or a car rosary - each uses a smaller number of beads than a full rosary.

 

A small scented sachet. For those who are sensitive to the aroma, it's not super strong but we had a basket in the back that women could choose to "share the love" with other moms by passing on their sachet to a mom in our local shelter. For those with teenaged boys, it's the best gift a mom can have (to place the sachet into their shoes, which are piled by the back door stinking up the mudroom LOL). You can put these into small organza bags from the craft store, or we've done donated pantyhose (new!) and tied them off before putting them into small, sewn pockets. The latter we did on a smaller scale, but most people who can sew are usually able to knock out several little palm-sized sachets. They can go in the car, closets, the aforementioned smelly shoes, in a pillow ... we've used dried rosemary, roses, and lavendar. I hear they sell scented lavendar batting, too. I know it's iffy with so many people more sensitive to aromas now, but it's an idea.

 

We've also done stationary. Just a few small pieces of paper cut to memo-size and tied with a pretty ribbon. The papers were stamped (you can use Bible verses, flowers, anything really). To accompany it was a regular ballpoint pen, to which the kids each picked a plastic flower to attach to it length-wise. It was attached with floral tape, hopefully you can envision this - kind of like some stores to do keep their pens from walking away from the registers LOL. We packaged it all up in a small canvas bag from the craft store.

 

Pictures are long-lasting; a nice set-up, digital camera, and maybe even a wireless printer (or have a separate pick-up table the following week for printed copies) would be all you needed. I've seen a number of relatively simply photograph holders (the kind that you slip a non-framed photo into something that resembles a paperclip) that wouldn't be hard to make, or even to buy in bulk.

 

As Catholics we love us some prayer cards; not sure about other faith traditions, but the idea shouldn't be offensive to any, I don't think -- if you can find an appropriate piece of artwork or a Bible verse or something, it's kind of like a grown-up version of a bookmark. Make up some pretty (prayer cards), have them laminated, and pass those out. I use them on my home altar, as bookmarks in my Bible and devotionals, and there are even some taped on my fridge. Many uses, is the point.

 

It's hard to know without knowing the budget or what size church we're talking about, but there are a few ideas that might at least lead you towards something you know will work for your situation :)

 

"Meaningful" is so subjective, you know? I think the thought is what matters; I'm not particularly sentimental, nor am I a tchotchky person ... but I still accept the many things I receive on that and other days because of where it's coming from. I actually love live flowers. Even though they do die in a few days, it's a good reminder for me to appreciate the beauty around me before it's gone. That's especially important to me on Mother's Day, as both a mother and a daughter. I know it won't be for everyone, though, which breaks my heart!

[Pippen]

"Meaningful" is so subjective, you know? I think the thought is what matters; I'm not particularly sentimental, nor am I a tchotchky person ... but I still accept the many things I receive on that and other days because of where it's coming from. I actually love live flowers. Even though they do die in a few days, it's a good reminder for me to appreciate the beauty around me before it's gone. That's especially important to me on Mother's Day, as both a mother and a daughter. I know it won't be for everyone, though, which breaks my heart!

 

Through the years I've been given many things on Mother's Day at church--cut flowers, 1 potted flower, fridge magnets, booklets, Mother's Day pens, bookmarks, etc.

 

Personally if you're shooting for meaningful and longlasting, I'd rather have something that I wouldn't have to feed, water, store, or feel guilty about killing, tossing, not wearing, not using, or putting in the thrift shop pile. Like a note saying I was being prayed for all year or a donation of time/funds to some group in need in honor of the women of the church.

 

Cut flowers are good for me too. It's nice for a few days, and then I don't have to tend to it or make any decisions about it.

[happi duck]

Through the years I've been given many things on Mother's Day at church--cut flowers, 1 potted flower, fridge magnets, booklets, Mother's Day pens, bookmarks, etc.

 

Personally if you're shooting for meaningful and longlasting, I'd rather have something that I wouldn't have to feed, water, store, or feel guilty about killing, tossing, not wearing, not using, or putting in the thrift shop pile. Like a note saying I was being prayed for all year or a donation of time/funds to some group in need in honor of the women of the church.

 

Cut flowers are good for me too. It's nice for a few days, and then I don't have to tend to it or make any decisions about it.

 

 

I totally agree. 'Stuff' most often ends up a burden.

 

I prefer a cut flower but in my childhood church, moms were given a small annual flower in it's own pot that was wrapped with foil so it looked nice. Moms could keep it around like a cut flower if they chose or plant it.

[PrincessMommy]

Through the years I've been given many things on Mother's Day at church--cut flowers, 1 potted flower, fridge magnets, booklets, Mother's Day pens, bookmarks, etc.

 

Personally if you're shooting for meaningful and longlasting, I'd rather have something that I wouldn't have to feed, water, store, or feel guilty about killing, tossing, not wearing, not using, or putting in the thrift shop pile. Like a note saying I was being prayed for all year or a donation of time/funds to some group in need in honor of the women of the church.

 

Cut flowers are good for me too. It's nice for a few days, and then I don't have to tend to it or make any decisions about it.

 

 

I agree... I think cut flowers are quite nice. Otherwise, what one mom likes may very well end up in the thrift store pile for another mom. Everyone's tastes are very different.

[Laurie4b]

I'd much prefer the flowers myself. Or high quality chocolate ;)

[Plink]

Seconding the vote for chocolate - or if you really want my opinion, just skip the gifts all together. I think it is rather weird to receive Mother's Day gifts from anyone other than my immediate family.

[Heidi]

I like getting flowers for Mother's Day as long as they are edible and taste like chocolate.

[Pippen]

Chocolate works for me too! One lovely dark chocolate truffle that I didn't have to share with anyone and I'd be happy.

[eaglei]

Thank you, everyone, for your suggestions! I'm going to copy and paste to an e-mail (no names, etc.) and forward some ideas to my pastor!

 

The many references to chocolate reminded me of one lady in our church who is severely allergic to chocolate! :ohmy:

[gardenmom5]

this is a touchy subject. we had one bishop who did something every year he thought had more meaning - it felt condescending and I hated it. those years, I really, really didn't want anything. I'd rather have dead flowers (aka: cut flowers). now, with our new bishop, we get chocolate.

 

plants can be planted (make sure it is an easy to grow plant for those who dont have green thumbs.)

fridge magnets - and they're more likely to succeed with humor than an attempt to be profound.

[Gentlemommy]

You know what I wish our church would do? Have all the moms take the day 'off' from their various ministry volunteer positions. While we do have some teen boys and husbands volunteering in the children's ministry, it's usually the women there every week. It would be amazing if when I got there Sunday morning to work, I was told to go to take the morning off, go to the sanctuary to listen to the service (which is never get to do sinceim volunteering) and maybe have a small breakfast/brunch set up after. Even just coffee/tea and pastries, but whatever it was,something I could actually SIT and EAT without having to get up and chase my kids. Lol

[Jenny in Florida]

I, personally, do not like cut flowers, because I hate watching them die.

 

Sadly, I also seem to kill most of the potted plants people give me.

 

As a vegan, I woudn't eat the chocolate.

 

Something we got a couple of times was a simple candle with a pretty ribbon tied around it. I liked those. And I was thinking you could combine that with Tita Gidge's suggestion of a laminated card on which you had printed something appropriate. You would hole punch the card and attach it to the ribbon tied around the candle?

 

In general, I like things that are both pretty and practical: notepads or bookmarks personalized in some way, embellished pens, coffee mugs, etc.

[Alessandra]

I like the cut flowers -- one rose (or whatever) is lovely. Your pastor's basic idea is sweet, but perhaps someone else picks up after him, lol? A lot of mothers live in houses that are FILLED with stuff -- we don't want more!

 

One thing I wanted to add. Years ago, when I was younger, my church at the time (in a big city) gave a flower to all the women in the congregation. I thought it was a lovely gesture, because it acknowledges that some women may be wishing they were in a position (married?) to start a family, or may be actively trying (naturally or medically) for a family, or who have had a miscarriage, or may be caring for a relative's child... I could go on.

 

Btw, I mean this as a JAWM post.

[TravelingChris]

Why won't you have chocolate as a vegan???? THe chocolates I eat don't have anything in them except chocolate, sugar and vanilla (or vanillin). None of those are from animals. I am confused.

[LuvToRead]

I like the cut flowers -- one rose (or whatever) is lovely. Your pastor's basic idea is sweet, but perhaps someone else picks up after him, lol? A lot of mothers live in houses that are FILLED with stuff -- we don't want more!

 

One thing I wanted to add. Years ago, when I was younger, my church at the time (in a big city) gave a flower to all the women in the congregation. I thought it was a lovely gesture, because it acknowledges that some women may be wishing they were in a position (married?) to start a family, or may be actively trying (naturally or medically) for a family, or who have had a miscarriage, or may be caring for a relative's child... I could go on.

 

Btw, I mean this as a JAWM post.

 

My church always gives a gift to every lady present, not just the mothers.

 

Anyway, to answer the question, I always appreciate chocolate, too. Or a nice ink pen.

[Jenny in Florida]

Why won't you have chocolate as a vegan???? THe chocolates I eat don't have anything in them except chocolate, sugar and vanilla (or vanillin). None of those are from animals. I am confused.

 

 

Most sugar sold in this country uses bone char in the processing. It's not "in" the chocolate, but many vegans are very careful about the sugars we buy and use in order to avoid it.

 

Also, even most "dark" chocolate contains some dairy, unless it is specifically labelled "dairy free."

 

I do eat chocolate, but only after I read the label carefully and check to make sure it is vegan appropriate. I've never been handed anything in a group setting that met those criteria. And, unless each piece was individually labelled so that I could check, I wouldn't eat it.

[JuanitaL]

You know what I wish our church would do? Have all the moms take the day 'off' from their various ministry volunteer positions. While we do have some teen boys and husbands volunteering in the children's ministry, it's usually the women there every week. It would be amazing if when I got there Sunday morning to work, I was told to go to take the morning off, go to the sanctuary to listen to the service (which is never get to do sinceim volunteering) and maybe have a small breakfast/brunch set up after. Even just coffee/tea and pastries, but whatever it was,something I could actually SIT and EAT without having to get up and chase my kids. Lol

 

That would be lovely. Fix them breakfast or brunch, without letting them feel some sort of obligation to set up, serve, or clean up. One thing I always hated was the recognition for - oldest mom! youngest mom! mom with the most kids! etc. Hated it.

[Laurie4b]

I wanted to add that I am not sure it's a good idea to do gifts for mothers. Mothers get gifts on Mother's Day from their kids and their hubbies usually do something nice for them as well.

 

But Mother's Day is a particularly "loaded" holiday. In every congregation on Mother's Day, there are women who want very much to be mothers--some are single with not a mate in sight; others are married and infertile. For those women, Mother's Day hurts . And the gifts to those who are mothers can feel like salt in the wound.

 

Our church no longer gives gifts on Mother's Day. We acknowledge the day with prayer--gratitude for our own mothers, healing for those whose mothers inflicted pain, comfort for those whose mothers have passed away, blessing and strength for mothers in the congregation, and healing, comfort, and hope for those who want to be mothers but can't. We've received a lot of appreciation for this approach.

 

To me, here's what you have in the balance: a gift that may make women blessed to be mothers a little happier (or may give them something else to toss or have to watch die or not eat because of dietary needs,etc.) vs. something that rubs salt in the wounds of other women. This is a case when I think we should consider "mourning with those who mourn" of more importance than "rejoicing with those who rejoice".

[BakersDozen]

One thing I always hated was the recognition for - oldest mom! youngest mom! mom with the most kids! etc. Hated it.

I hate this, too. Our church only did this one year and that was because the pastor's wife had just had a baby so of course she had the newest baby.

 

I would love for churches to not give gifts on Mother's Day. If anything, provide a nice table of refreshments (a separate table for kids would be nice so they don't plow through the snacks before the adults get a chance to take a bite).

[Jenny in Florida]

But Mother's Day is a particularly "loaded" holiday. In every congregation on Mother's Day, there are women who want very much to be mothers--some are single with not a mate in sight; others are married and infertile. For those women, Mother's Day hurts . And the gifts to those who are mothers can feel like salt in the wound.

 

And then there are women like me, who have very mixed emotions on Mother's Day. I'm thrilled to be a mom to my own kids, but I have no relationship with my own "mother." And sitting in a sanctuary listening to other women wax poetic about how wonderful their own moms are is a painful reminder to me.

[Tita Gidge]

As to something meaningful, what about a sponsored donation of some kind?

 

Sponsor a baby drive (diapers, bottles, blankets, etc.) where any donation receives a small card of acknowledgment. The card goes to Mom, or another special woman, and rather than trinkets going home with the women of the congregation ... in honor of these women, real moms in need will get stuff they can actually use. People can purchase and directly donate an item OR they can make a cash donation which the church can then use to purchase baby items for donation.

 

I love the idea of a luncheon/brunch though. And the best idea of all was giving moms the day off from volunteer church duties. Brilliant!

 

FWIW, as a family we've always celebrated all women in our family on Mother's Day. I have aunts who became religious sisters and aunts who stayed unmarried to care for elder relatives -- none are official mothers, but have definitely played a significant role in our formation. Such is the nature of a large, close-knit family I think. There is the nicest lady at church who has taken a real liking to my daughter, and we've always acknowledged her on Mother's Day, too; I don't know (or care) if she's childless by choice or by desire, but she's a great role model and strong supporter of my kids and I like to show our appreciation for that.

 

I get a lot of flack from my adult friends (ones I met as an adult who aren't from my culture) because they don't even like to share Mother's day with their own MILs or even moms sometime (!) ... and I've wondered if I wasn't being weird to include all of my non-moms. Reading these posts, I'm encouraged to continue honoring all of the important women in our lives. Thanks for the thread, OP!

[AndyJoy]

My church provides 3-4 different book titles of interest to moms on a table in the foyer. Those who want one take one. Those who don't just pass. There is also a vase of carnations so each child can give on to his/her mom.

 

My parents' church once persuaded a local coffee shop to sell them discounted coupons for a free Italian soda or latte. This was a bit hit. Another thing they do is have a men's dessert bake-off in honor of the moms which is judged by a panel of moms. And they make a point of reminding the men to clean up after themselves in the kitchen.:)

[8circles]

And then there are women like me, who have very mixed emotions on Mother's Day. I'm thrilled to be a mom to my own kids, but I have no relationship with my own "mother." And sitting in a sanctuary listening to other women wax poetic about how wonderful their own moms are is a painful reminder to me.

Yes, this. Our church has never focused a lot on mother's day or similar holidays but I'm still not looking forward to it. I usually try to serve in the nursery.

[lil' maids in a row]

Our church gave donations to a local, denomination run shelter for elderly women. The moms were given a nice bookmark with information about the shelter. During the service they ran a video about the plight of many older women (poverty, lonliness, poor health etc) and showed many before/after pictures of women who had been helped by the shelter. I am SOOOOO glad the funds went towards helping the needy, instead of giving me a gift that I didn't really need.

[Alessandra]

I wanted to add that I am not sure it's a good idea to do gifts for mothers. Mothers get gifts on Mother's Day from their kids and their hubbies usually do something nice for them as well.

 

But Mother's Day is a particularly "loaded" holiday. In every congregation on Mother's Day, there are women who want very much to be mothers--some are single with not a mate in sight; others are married and infertile. For those women, Mother's Day hurts . And the gifts to those who are mothers can feel like salt in the wound.

 

Our church no longer gives gifts on Mother's Day. We acknowledge the day with prayer--gratitude for our own mothers, healing for those whose mothers inflicted pain, comfort for those whose mothers have passed away, blessing and strength for mothers in the congregation, and healing, comfort, and hope for those who want to be mothers but can't. We've received a lot of appreciation for this approach.

 

To me, here's what you have in the balance: a gift that may make women blessed to be mothers a little happier (or may give them something else to toss or have to watch die or not eat because of dietary needs,etc.) vs. something that rubs salt in the wounds of other women. This is a case when I think we should consider "mourning with those who mourn" of more importance than "rejoicing with those who rejoice".

 

I like what you posted better than what I posted. Eloquently put!

 

I hate this, too. Our church only did this one year and that was because the pastor's wife had just had a baby so of course she had the newest baby.

 

I would love for churches to not give gifts on Mother's Day. If anything, provide a nice table of refreshments (a separate table for kids would be nice so they don't plow through the snacks before the adults get a chance to take a bite).

 

Refreshments for all sounds nice.

 

And then there are women like me, who have very mixed emotions on Mother's Day. I'm thrilled to be a mom to my own kids, but I have no relationship with my own "mother." And sitting in a sanctuary listening to other women wax poetic about how wonderful their own moms are is a painful reminder to me.

 

I hadn't thought of a situation like yours. One more reason not to 'celebrate.'

[Jenny in Florida]

I hadn't thought of a situation like yours. One more reason not to 'celebrate.'

 

 

Oh, dear. I certainly didn't mean to imply we shouldn't celebrate the day. I just hoped to put forward the idea that a little sensitivity to the fact that not everyone comes from the same kind of traditionally "happy" family might not be out of place on a day that can be an emotional landmine for some folks.

[Alessandra]

Oh, dear. I certainly didn't mean to imply we shouldn't celebrate the day. I just hoped to put forward the idea that a little sensitivity to the fact that not everyone comes from the same kind of traditionally "happy" family might not be out of place on a day that can be an emotional landmine for some folks.

 

 

You're right. I phrased that badly (writing before coffee, lol). I should have said something like, 'one more reason not to force a celebration on anybody.'

 

At the church I mentioned in a previous post here, I had one friend who did not like children much (and I think had some issues with her own mother) -- she always went to another church on mother's day, to avoid having a rose offered to her.

 

'Emotional landmine' is good.