I feel like we're inherently unlikable

[Mommy22alyns]

Not here, but IRL.

 

Rebecca joined a gymnastics team last May. We were also new to the gym and she never took preteam. During competition season, everyone was passably nice and cheered for all the girls. But before and after, it's like we don't even exist. DH and I feel like we don't fit in at all. It even goes down to basic communication - we were the last to know that Rebecca needed grips. I had to sit in the lobby and eavesdrop to find this out. NOBODY said anything, not a coach, not a parent, no one. People will smile when they open the door for us, but then we're promptly ignored. And Rebecca has had continued problems feeling like she's fitting in. Girls would rather pair up with pretty much anyone but her. When the coach says to say something nice about another team girl, no one picks Rebecca. We're all feeling left out and sad. I don't even know what to do or say to my daughter. She's a fantastic kid, great attitude, hard worker, friendly and kind to everyone. What's wrong with us? :crying:

[Dandelion]

I'm sorry you feel that way. :grouphug: I would be inclined to chalk it up to people just being absorbed in their own lives. No advice, but here's another :grouphug: .

[NotSoObvious]

She's 10? I think it's a really hard age to jump into an existing group of girls, no matter what it is.

 

Can you invite another girl over to play? Or nurture friendships with the other families outside of the gym?

[Catwoman]

No advice, just :grouphug:

 

I'm sorry they aren't being friendlier. :(

[Myeightkiddies]

Is Rebecca the newest member of the team? If some of the girls have been together awhile, they will just naturally gravitate toward each other. This is true if they happen to go to school together. When a new girl joins, Rebecca should reach out to her to make her feel welcomed (which I am sure she would anyway). The same is true with each new one. Before long, Rebecca will be a veteran, and most who ignored her will be gone (or she will have new friends with the newer girls).

 

Chances are that it isn't really you. Most likely the other moms don't know how to approach or it is easier to hang out with those they have seen. Just go sit next to one and start chatting about a common interest - upcoming event, uniforms, supplies, etc. Next time you see that mom wave, smile, and say hi. Do the same with a different mom. Try not to focus on just one of the parents. If that parent doesn't show up or quits, you won't be left with no contacts. Try to approach a new mom each week. You'll discover who will be happy to chat and who won't. I know it has been a year, but next year can be different.

 

After (or before) each practice, approach the coach and ask for an update on events, supplies, etc. that may not have been announced via correspondence. If there is something, take a moment to share it with the other parents. They may or may not know about it, but if they don't, they will appreciate you taking the time to let them know. Don't give up.

[Anne in CA]

Some groups are impossible to break into. I went to a church for five years where I only made three friends. They used to talk about not being a "bless me club", but they really were. They had been through a lot before we got there and no matter how much we volunteered or what we did we were not included in much socially We made lots of overtures, which were politely accepted, but at the end of the day, when we joined a new church and so many women went out of their way to include me in things, I knew how dysfunctional the old group was.

 

This may not be a group that is "open" to new members. If you decide to stay in spite of that I would make sure to communicate to the coach that they need to do a better job of letting you know what you need to get for your dd. Not telling you about the grips was not cool.

[PrairieSong]

Did you ever try to do anything with any of the families outside of gymnastics? Coffee, lunch, invite them to your house, whatever? Do the other families socialize like that with each other?

 

Do you try to start conversations with the other parents? I am an introvert and sometimes have to force myself to get outside of myself and make overtures in group situations.

 

Sometimes it is very hard for the new person/family in a group to fit in. Sometimes the members who have been around longer don't even realize this. A friend of mine who is an outgoing person went to the ladies' group at our church when she first moved here years ago. She went home and cried because not one person spoke to her. I was not there, but I doubt it was on purpose. The ladies did not get together and decide as a group not to talk to the new person.

 

Maybe there are things you can do to reach out, that you are not doing now. Maybe the other families do not realize how excluded you feel. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope you can find a solution!

[Mommy22alyns]

Part of the problem might be that we live the farthest from the gym. Pretty much everyone else lives in the vicinity, but we're 40 minutes away in a totally different rural town.

[PrincessMommy]

We had a similar experience last year on swim team (although communication was okay since it's all done via list-serv)... but yeah, totally get what you're saying. We're not doing swim team this year... kids didn't love it enough to do it no matter what. If we'd been welcomed more we might be more inclined... but everyone is busy with their friends and lives... no room for one more.

[catz]

We started at a very small dance studio a few years ago and I felt this exact same way. But now that I've seen the dynamics of it over several years, that's just how things roll. I do intentionally volunteer more and do what I can to foster relationships with those kids. But really many of the families there are just REALLY busy - have 2 working parents and are constantly on the go. Communication is dodgy - sometimes it gets out in e-mail and sometimes it's word of mouth. My relationships have improved with everyone over time, but it has taken a while. I think it's just good to remind yourself not to take it personally - people generally operate in their own comfort zones and bubbles. :grouphug:

[catz]

double post

[Jennifer in MI]

Is it possible that the other girls are jealous of your dd? My dd joined a new team this year too. My dd was the newest, youngest, smallest kid on the team. Dd kept complaining about one girl on her team being mean to her. Long story short - this girl was the smallest, youngest, cutest kid last year. This girl was jealous of my dd. She told the other girls all sorts of things about my dd. Poor kid. We got it all worked out. But it was hard for a while. Now, I feel dd is respected for her work ethic. Other girl isn't fond of dd, but she isn't mean.

 

((hugs)) What does your dd think? Can you talk to the coach? Is there another gym to check out?

[Jennifer in MI]

Is it possible that the other girls are jealous of your dd? My dd joined a new team this year too. My dd was the newest, youngest, smallest kid on the team. Dd kept complaining about one girl on her team being mean to her. Long story short - this girl was the smallest, youngest, cutest kid last year. This girl was jealous of my dd. She told the other girls all sorts of things about my dd. Poor kid. We got it all worked out. But it was hard for a while. Now, I feel dd is respected for her work ethic. Other girl isn't fond of dd, but she isn't mean.

 

((hugs)) What does your dd think? Can you talk to the coach? Is there another gym to check out?

[Remudamom]

If they are in competition with each other maybe it's a Dance Mom syndrome thing?

[Jennifer in MI]

If they are in competition with each other maybe it's a Dance Mom syndrome thing?

 

This. Your dd is amazing. The other moms and girls are jealous.

[Mommy22alyns]

 

This. Your dd is amazing. The other moms and girls are jealous.

 

 

Me? Really? Wow. It really hurts to think that grown ups could be so petty. Rebecca was far and away the highest scorer of all the L4 girls last season. *sigh* We're always sure to be pleasant and encouraging to everyone else.

[Jennifer in MI]

 

 

Me? Really? Wow. It really hurts to think that grown ups could be so petty. Rebecca was far and away the highest scorer of all the L4 girls last season. *sigh* We're always sure to be pleasant and encouraging to everyone else.

 

Yup. I just re-watched your dd's videos. She really is VERY good. The other moms are jealous. Really. My dd moved up to L4 in January. Five days before her first meet. The other moms were so sweet to me. VERY nice. Dd had a good meet. Not great. But, the moms were SO supportive in an "isnt-she-cute" kind of way. There's a difference now that Meg is competing with their kids. And, Meg is now beating them. I feel it. They don't root for her anymore. It's tough. ((hugs))

 

Meg has been asking to move to a national gym. Is that an option for your dd?

[AngieC]

I'd be willing to bet it's a combination of being new, so everyone is set in their ways and Rebecca's ability/scores. Is there even one girl on the team that she could try to form a friendship with outside of the team? Might be worth a few 40 minute drives to help her break into the group. Maybe suggest an ice skating trip or bowling or pottery painting - whatever the kids like to do. Alternatively, you could offer to have a girl over for the day and offer to drive one direction if the other parent will drive the other.

 

Lastly, is there anyone else new(er) to the team that you could try to hang out with? My dd started at a new gym last summer and it seems like newer parents hang out with other new parents and those who have been there hang out with other old timers.

[AngieC]

Also, I thought I remember something about the coaches wanting Rebecca to skip some levels. Do all levels of team practice together or will Rebecca be with entirely new girls next year? Maybe things will sort themselves out then.

[itsheresomewhere]

Lately, I find the pettiness among the moms worse than the kids. Are there any other gyms in the area to consider?

[catz]

 

 

Me? Really? Wow. It really hurts to think that grown ups could be so petty. Rebecca was far and away the highest scorer of all the L4 girls last season. *sigh* We're always sure to be pleasant and encouraging to everyone else.

 

Well, if that's the case, that may not be helping any. Especially as a newcomer. If you see a kid come up for years, I think it is easier to be more supportive than a newcomer showing up and outshining everyone. It probably is a combo of things.

 

My oldest gets attitude for a couple things when he ends up in a new group of kids until they get to know him. I had a parent walk up to me last week at a piano recital and ask me how many hours a day kid practices and I said like maybe 1 hour a day? And she said "well, he's clearly a genius then" and walked away? Ummm ... ok. A - not a genuis, B - been at it for 7 years C- had been working on the piece for 6 months. D - His teacher didn't even think his performance was that great. And E - don't put my kid on some imaginary pedestal. Irritating! And this is a parent I've know for a couple years. How about just staying, nice job, I can see you worked hard on that without making about your own kid and ego. All kids are on their own journey!

 

Hoping things improve somehow!

[Mommy22alyns]

The coach is wanting her to score out of new L4 (old L5) and move to new L5 (old L6). He said something about optionals, but I don't know specifics. She is taking privates with another girl to learn optional skills. She's not the only one.

 

The only other new parents are L3 parents and we only see each other a couple of times as their practice times don't always overlap.

 

I really feel like Rebecca might get along better with the older, higher level girls, but it looks like over the summer she'll still be with the same group. They won't decide until summer is over what level they'll compete at.

 

Because we're so far out of town, I feel like our options are limited, and even if we changed gyms, the same thing might happen all over again. Despite communication problems, I like the HC and the L4 coach and their vision for Rebecca's future. HC is envisioning her at L9-10 at around 12-13.

[Remudamom]

 

 

Me? Really? Wow. It really hurts to think that grown ups could be so petty. Rebecca was far and away the highest scorer of all the L4 girls last season. *sigh* We're always sure to be pleasant and encouraging to everyone else.

 

 

Bingo. Got to be it.

[Tita Gidge]

I'm not familiar with your daughter's performance (videos?) or any history at the studio/gym, so this may be coming out of left field but I'm throwing it out there any way ...

 

Might it be the vibe you're giving off? I wondered when I read the OP, and then wondered more as the thread progressed and I learned of your daughter's talent level.

 

I'll give you an example from my real life. I have a dear friend of six years who only became my friend because she was persistent. Our kids were on a team together, but she had joined whereas I had three seasons with the team (and the parents). We were nice to her, she was friendly back BUT there wasn't any off-the-field bonding happening. Finally, at the end of the season party she asked for my phone number. Our kids were having fun together (finally, off of the field) and I think she wanted to capitalize on that. So I gave it to her, assuming she'd not follow up. Boy howdy, was I ever wrong. She followed up and then some!

 

She pursued me like nobody's business. Like, I was getting flashbacks of Single, White Female the first few conversations LOL. But you know, I really (easily) came to like her. By the time the next season began, we were doing weekly get-togethers and 2-3x/week phone calls. It felt like I had always known her. Another mom in the stands expressed surprise that I had become so buddy-buddy with my new friend. It sparked a conversation in which I realized that while my new friend had always been friendly ... she did give off a vibe. Not a bad vibe, not a snobby vibe, not anything I could really pinpoint (except in hindsight I think it had to do with her nervousness about not fitting in and being the new parent) but ... just a vibe that wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy and welcoming (herself).

 

I'm wondering if you might be inadvertently giving off a cool vibe, and that's part of why you can't break past the civil niceties of this parent group. If your daughter truly is a threat in the talent department, even more so that they'd read you as cool rather than nervous/new. I hesitate to call it Dance Moms because I simply can't go through life believing people like that exist (**fingers in ears, don't want to know they aren't just acting**) but it's a reality that people ... moms ... feel threatened in that arena.

 

Whatever it is, I hope you're able to reconcile it in a way that's satisfying. I like the suggestion about finding off-the-mat ways to connect with even just one child.

 

Also, in my line of work I'm always the new one breaking into established work groups. I've learned from my friend that I just have to be persistent and take the lead in those situations because if I sit back and wait ... I may never be approached. And at least in the case with her, I'd have really missed out!

[Remudamom]

I'm afraid Dance Moms do exist. I've seen some in my hometown.

[Tita Gidge]

How does one even get to that point?

 

Is it a living vicariously thing, a crazed Mama Bear thing, or ....?

 

I've seen some crazy baseball moms, but they've got nothing on Abby's moms!

 

I knew they wouldn't be nominated for any Emmy's or anything, but I sincerely hoped they were acting.

 

Suddenly my husband's idea to become hermits in the hills of the Dakotas seems much more appealing ...

[LibraryLover]

I agree that talking first is a good idea. Even if you simply comment on how nice the leotard is, or ask the group of parents where they like to buy groceries, as you're coming from far away and need to shop before going home.

If they have been unfriendly from day 1, I would start conversations and see where they lead. I've often noticed that parents are exhausted. They aren't trying to be unfriendly, they just don't have the energy to go the extra mile.

If there is a child your dd likes, I might say (on a weekend, and because you've been there a year), "We're going for ice cream/lunch/whatever. Your Zoe and my Ashley seem to be getting along well. It might be fun for them to chat together outside of the gym. Would you like to join us? Or perhaps Zoe could come along with us? I can drop her off home right after." Offer your cell number etc. Make sure the venue is local and popular...Panera at the mall, perhaps?

[LibraryLover]

H

 

I've seen some crazy baseball moms, but they've got nothing on Abby's moms!

 

I knew they wouldn't be nominated for any Emmy's or anything, but I sincerely hoped they were acting.

 

 

That show is awful, and we watch it. :(

 

DD and I have a pact that we do not buy any products advertised. My dd even said, "I will never know what Whisper lipstick is like." lol Which cracks us both up.

That show is horrible, but obviously partly staged. Abby was a co-host on The View in February. Last week, the show was all drama about which cute tiny kid was going to get to do a back flip in the dance segment. The big DM deal is currently pitting two little 7 years olds against each other, which includes torturing those sweeties about which one gets to be on The Stupid View, which aired in FEBRUARY .

They make kids cry, and that sucks. The moms are egotists, every single one.  Why would anyone do that to their children, even if some of it is acting?  I really do not understand how parents have the right to sell their children like that. (And I include myself. I wish the show was Hockey Moms, as nobody in my family likes to play hockey. )

 

Please don't talk about DM. It is my greatest shame. I don't even have cable, so we watch it the next day on the stupid computer. I hate myself.

[Tita Gidge]

Your daughter's comment cracked me up. I admire that you're taking a financial stand, I hadn't thought to do that before but now I might have to!

 

 

Please don't talk about DM. It is my greatest shame. I don't even have cable, so we watch it the next day on the stupid computer. I hate myself.

 

Don't hate yourself. It could be worse. You could be me.

 

I watch Honey Boo Boo. And I like it. I love me some Mama June like nobody's business.

 

I'm so ashamed! I hide it from my family, they'd have a field day and never let me live it down!

 

I find myself repeating June-isms often. My family isn't really sure what's wrong with me LOL.

 

So, yeah - could be worse. And at worst, you're in good company ;)

[Hockey Mom]

Me? Really? Wow. It really hurts to think that grown ups could be so petty. Rebecca was far and away the highest scorer of all the L4 girls last season. *sigh* We're always sure to be pleasant and encouraging to everyone else.

 

It's the same way for pretty much any sport/competitive league. Don't give those parents the satisfaction of knowing it bothers you.

 

:grouphug:

 

ETA: It's not just the 'dance moms' who are petty like that. It's dads too.

[Mommy22alyns]

I'm not familiar with your daughter's performance (videos?) or any history at the studio/gym, so this may be coming out of left field but I'm throwing it out there any way ...

 

Might it be the vibe you're giving off? I wondered when I read the OP, and then wondered more as the thread progressed and I learned of your daughter's talent level.

 

I'll give you an example from my real life. I have a dear friend of six years who only became my friend because she was persistent. Our kids were on a team together, but she had joined whereas I had three seasons with the team (and the parents). We were nice to her, she was friendly back BUT there wasn't any off-the-field bonding happening. Finally, at the end of the season party she asked for my phone number. Our kids were having fun together (finally, off of the field) and I think she wanted to capitalize on that. So I gave it to her, assuming she'd not follow up. Boy howdy, was I ever wrong. She followed up and then some!

 

She pursued me like nobody's business. Like, I was getting flashbacks of Single, White Female the first few conversations LOL. But you know, I really (easily) came to like her. By the time the next season began, we were doing weekly get-togethers and 2-3x/week phone calls. It felt like I had always known her. Another mom in the stands expressed surprise that I had become so buddy-buddy with my new friend. It sparked a conversation in which I realized that while my new friend had always been friendly ... she did give off a vibe. Not a bad vibe, not a snobby vibe, not anything I could really pinpoint (except in hindsight I think it had to do with her nervousness about not fitting in and being the new parent) but ... just a vibe that wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy and welcoming (herself).

 

I'm wondering if you might be inadvertently giving off a cool vibe, and that's part of why you can't break past the civil niceties of this parent group. If your daughter truly is a threat in the talent department, even more so that they'd read you as cool rather than nervous/new. I hesitate to call it Dance Moms because I simply can't go through life believing people like that exist (**fingers in ears, don't want to know they aren't just acting**) but it's a reality that people ... moms ... feel threatened in that arena.

 

Whatever it is, I hope you're able to reconcile it in a way that's satisfying. I like the suggestion about finding off-the-mat ways to connect with even just one child.

 

Also, in my line of work I'm always the new one breaking into established work groups. I've learned from my friend that I just have to be persistent and take the lead in those situations because if I sit back and wait ... I may never be approached. And at least in the case with her, I'd have really missed out!

 

 

I've been wondering about this too. DH and I are so introverted. He does like to chitchat with another dad who's regularly there, but it's not all the time. I should just put a sign on my forehead that says, "Not conceited - SHY!"

[Miss Mousie]

I've been wondering about this too. DH and I are so introverted. He does like to chitchat with another dad who's regularly there, but it's not all the time. I should just put a sign on my forehead that says, "Not conceited - SHY!"

 

 

Oh, gosh, you inspired a flashback to my sophomore year of high school. One of the girls I had been trying to befriend since freshman year – mid-popular status – told me in a note that people thought I was stuck up.

 

:confused: Me? Stuck up? What on earth do I have to be stuck up about? I was completely bewildered.

 

I was (and still am) grateful to her for telling me so, because it gave me incentive and encouragement to try to force myself out of my shell. After many years of working at it, I am more at ease now, but it is still a struggle.

[jenn-]

Oh, gosh, you inspired a flashback to my sophomore year of high school. One of the girls I had been trying to befriend since freshman year – mid-popular status – told me in a note that people thought I was stuck up.

 

:confused: Me? Stuck up? What on earth do I have to be stuck up about? I was completely bewildered.

 

I was (and still am) grateful to her for telling me so, because it gave me incentive and encouragement to try to force myself out of my shell. After many years of working at it, I am more at ease now, but it is still a struggle.

 

I got this a lot growing up and I am sure people still think it about me. I am shy, plain and simple.

 

To the OP, I've been at the same gym for the last 5 years. If I didn't approach people, they wouldn't approach me. As we have switched from progressive classes, to different level of team our practice times have fluctuated a lot. Sometimes that meant starting all over because my one or two acquaintances I sit with might not have switched with me. Right now I am lucky in the sense that there are 6 or 7 moms that sit for practices right now (a lot just throw the kids out the car door and come back for them) and most of the time I am included into the conversations. Even though I have been talking with these same ladies for 18 months (and some of them off and on for most of these years), it still feels awkward to jump into a conversation, but I do it anyways. If I don't, there are 9 very long hours at the gym each week.

 

As for needing grips, that's your DD's coach's job. He should have told you directly or your daughter or sent out a newsletter. Our squad requires them starting in level 5 (now the new level 4) because of the amount of bar work increases. The year my DD was held back in level 4, I thought I was lucky because at least I wasn't going to have to add that expense. Guess whose level 4 child was required to have them because of constantly ripping up her hands. :glare:

[LibraryLover]

Your daughter's comment cracked me up. I admire that you're taking a financial stand, I hadn't thought to do that before but now I might have to!

 

 

 

Don't hate yourself. It could be worse. You could be me.

 

I watch Honey Boo Boo. And I like it. I love me some Mama June like nobody's business.

 

I'm so ashamed! I hide it from my family, they'd have a field day and never let me live it down!

 

I find myself repeating June-isms often. My family isn't really sure what's wrong with me LOL.

 

So, yeah - could be worse. And at worst, you're in good company ;)

 

 

My dd is hilarious. She has very wry sense of humor. Her delivery is excellent.

 

Are you kidding me? I love June.

 

The only reason I don't watch Honey Boo Boo is because I can't seem to find current full episodes anywhere. (That no cable thing, so I need a computer resource.) I've seen every episode from season I.

[Audrey]

I'm afraid Dance Moms do exist. I've seen some in my hometown.

 

My local equivalent is Hockey Moms. It's unbelievable. They get so nasty, they draw blood. Literally.

 

 

Sheesh! :001_rolleyes:

[AStableBeginning]

 

 

It's the same way for pretty much any sport/competitive league. Don't give those parents the satisfaction of knowing it bothers you.

 

I know where you are coming from and have felt it this year. Unfortunately, it stinks but I agree don't let the parents see you upset. I have experienced another mom from our sister gym critiquing my child's bar performance at a big meet. I have her play by play on video because they did not see me standing there. When my child faulted and took a step, they cheered!

 

Just keep building your child up and do not let anyone else's jealousy stand in your way. Hugs!

[Giraffe]

I've been wondering about this too. DH and I are so introverted. He does like to chitchat with another dad who's regularly there, but it's not all the time. I should just put a sign on my forehead that says, "Not conceited - SHY!"

 

Oh, gosh, you inspired a flashback to my sophomore year of high school. One of the girls I had been trying to befriend since freshman year – mid-popular status – told me in a note that people thought I was stuck up.

:confused: Me? Stuck up? What on earth do I have to be stuck up about? I was completely bewildered.

I was (and still am) grateful to her for telling me so, because it gave me incentive and encouragement to try to force myself out of my shell. After many years of working at it, I am more at ease now, but it is still a struggle.

 

 

Me three. I've been told I come across as conceited when the truth is I'm so shy that casual conversation can leave me hyperventilating.

 

OP, :grouphug:

[Melissa B]

We joined a new gym this year too. You and your dh will really need to put yourselves out there and be accepted into the gym as a family; it's not just your dd being accepted as a gymnast. Gymnast families tend to be very tight due to the long hours together. Volunteer whenever there is a chance, go to the team building events over the summer and say hi to everyone - parents and gymnasts. When you are in the lobby, smile and join the group (no matter how uncomfortable you feel at first.) There will be no need to eavesdrop to get information if you are standing/sitting with the group. For us it was a double barrier to cross as our dd is the only homeschooler and several of the parents are educators. It was stressful at the beginning of the year. What worked best for me was to introduce myself to one parent at a time and ask about that person's child. How long has she been in gymnastics? What school does she go to? If you want to fit into the group you will honestly need to be interested. Watch how the other kids do in practice and at meets. Praise/sympathize with the parents regularly. It has to be a two way street. And when you are new to the gym it tends to fall on you to start the balls rolling (even though common sense would dictate that it should really be the other way around. :rolleyes: )

[LMV]

Congratulations to Rebecca on a successful season and best wishes on L5 (and of course the kip). I'm sorry that things aren't going so well at the gym. Our (now thirteen) daughter was ten when she switched gyms (mainly because she came to live with us and the gym she is at now is very close to where we live but my MIL was familiar with her old gym and had vetoed it for my husband's little sister so we sensed it wasn't the best place for her) after taking a more than six month break from the sport completely. At the time she started at the gym my husband's little sister was finishing up her final L10 season and my MIL was very involved in the parents' organization so we had a connection there which did help. My SIL has continued with D1 gymnastics in college, still trains at her old gym during summer/ school breaks, and drives her niece to practice on those days which probably does up her "cool stock" considerably. In spite of these advantages this is really the first year that our daughter has a training teammate she is really friends with. In the past all of the girls were good teammates (they cheered for her, encouraged her, and included her in things at practice) but they weren't involved with her outside of the gym. I didn't think this was so bad because she was ten when she scored out of L8 and then competed an abridged L9 season right after she turned eleven. The rest of her L9 team were 14-18 so the age gap was significant. I would say it was a bit more significant because emotionally she was probably a little younger than her chronological age as well. Honestly, I would have let her go to teen night at a local club with them even if they had invited her. Things have gotten better as the age gap has closed and she has healed from her earlier trauma (with her biological parents not due to gymnastics). Are the girls on Rebecca's L4 team her age? Our gym doesn't compete L4 (although I guess we will this fall when L5 is renamed L4) but we usually have some seven year old L5s and the gap between seven and ten can be large for some girls. If this is the issue then moving up with some girls closer in age may work some of this out.

 

I will also concede that there are some crazy gym moms out there and maybe you have some at your gym. We're blessed that we really don't. We had one mom who came across that way (but as I got to know her I realized that she was so over invested in her daughter's gymnastics because that was an escape from everything else in life that was pretty awful for their family at the time). Her daughter is no longer rushing through the levels and had a successful L8 season. With the changes to L8 and her struggles with bars she may repeat L8 in 2013-2014 but her mom's reaction to that is totally different to her reaction three years ago when the coaches wanted her to compete L7 instead of scoring out and her mom pulled her from the gym with a lot of drama. Her second tour through our gym has been much different and she acknowledges that gymnastics is her daughter's sport. So even purported crazy gym moms can have epiphanies. We all have our moments….

 

Best wishes to Rebecca in her gymnastics journey. If she doesn't already have her kip then we're sending strength, coordination, and timing to help with that.

[Mommy22alyns]

Thanks! She's mostly got her kip, but good thoughts for a front tuck would work. ;) The other L4 girls, there's 2 who are younger, one almost exactly the same age, and the rest are 11 or an older 10.