2013..I want to be more than mediocre.

[fairfarmhand]

I've been thinking lately. (dangerous thing!)

 

One thing that I am concerned about is that in so many areas of my life, I am settling for "Good Enough."

 

While I am not doing fabulous at my diet, it's not that bad.

My weight..I have about 15 pounds that I need to lose, but I'm not that fat and most of my clothes still fit.

Spiritually... I'm doing okay. Nothing to write home about.

Organizationally, I am managing. There's still mess in way too many places but I can find most of what I need.

Homeschooling...well, it's all right. I'm not failing by any means, but neither am I excelling.

Fitness...Definitely could be better there, but it's okay.

Marriage and parenting....meh. Its fine.

 

I am not excelling in any area of my life. Most of all, I think it is because I am distracted. I feel that I am pulled in 100 directions most of the time. I know that it is unrealistic to expect amazingness all of the time in every area, but I do feel that I could improve almost every area of my life and give greater effort.

 

So in 2013, I am changing the way that I look at things. I am hoping to figure out 12 areas of my life and each month focus on improving that one area. While I know that I probably won't be able to maintain excellence in more that one or two areas all at the same time, I am hoping that by focusing on that area for a couple weeks will teach me some things about myself and give me some traction in my life.

 

So this is part of the reason that I deleted Facebook and I think that after the first of the year, I will be limiting my WTM forum time too. But it will be okay. I believe that this is where God has been leading me through the past couple months and I am excited about the changes.

 

Anyway, here's my list so far of the focuses that I will be working on. (in no particular order)

 

1. Prayer

2. Bible study

3. Marriage

4. Parenting

5. Homeschooling

6. Organization

7. Time management

8. Fitness

9. Diet

10. Fun (I am such a serious, routine person. Why do I have to write fun on my list?)

 

 

SO there are my thoughts. I need some suggestions to finish it out.

 

Secondly, does anyone have any suggestions about the order in which I should tackle these?

[nono]

Hey I am no help. I am aspiring to get to mediocre this year!!

[LaxMom]

No specific thoughts on how you should tackle your list, but...

I was just having a discussion along these lines the other day, though it had to do with children and the <shrug> "you did your best" mindset. I think it may be wise to instead be of the mind to ask "what more could I have done?" If you examine and conclude that you could have done more, but didn't care to, that's perfectly legitimate but, if you desire to improve, you're habitually seeing where you can do that.

 

Know what I mean?

[texasmama]

I would tackle one of the items on your list which seems more "doable". When you experience success, you will be encouraged to continue. You go, girl!

[fairfarmhand]

No specific thoughts on how you should tackle your list, but...

I was just having a discussion along these lines the other day, though it had to do with children and the <shrug> "you did your best" mindset. I think it may be wise to instead be of the mind to ask "what more could I have done?" If you examine and conclude that you could have done more, but didn't care to, that's perfectly legitimate but, if you desire to improve, you're habitually seeing where you can do that.

 

Know what I mean?

I totally understand.

 

My youngest is 5. I finally feel that in the last 2 years I finally emerged from the "baby fog" that defined my first 12-13 years as a parent. I spent 12-13 years pregnant, nursing, potty training, etc. and I was just holding on.So now, I feel that I need to move past just muddling through everything and really excel at something, even if it's just for a few weeks.

[fairfarmhand]

I would tackle one of the items on your list which seems more "doable". When you experience success, you will be encouraged to continue. You go, girl!

Without a doubt, I am tackling prayer and Bible study first. I know that above all those activities will fuel everything else in my life. If I can become more consistent in those two areas, I know I will improve in everything else. If I don't improve in anything but prayer and Bible study, then I will still feel like the year was better.

[Miss Mousie]

1. Prayer

2. Bible study

3. Marriage

4. Parenting

5. Homeschooling

6. Organization

7. Time management

8. Fitness

9. Diet

10. Fun (I am such a serious, routine person. Why do I have to write fun on my list?)

 

 

 

In trying to help with order, my first thought is "set yourself up for success." You've already mentioned prayer and Bible study as "doable," so that helps with the very beginning.

 

Marriage: choose the month *before* your anniversary. All that build-up could make the actual date spectacular! :)

 

Homeschooling ... maybe March or April, if you follow a traditional school year. You'll be out of the Feb. Blah Zone and have three months or so to wind up and maybe focus on a project that synthesizes some of the year's major concepts (I'm thinking of Lewelma's science fair here, somewhat, but it could certainly take a number of different forms).

 

Fitness - late spring, or whenever the weather starts turning so beckoningly pleasant. Make it easy to get out and move!

 

Homeschooling in July or so - whenever you do your best intense planning for the coming year - followed by organization, to make sure you have everything you need and can find it/work with it efficiently.

 

I would also caution against aiming for a standard that requires superhuman effort on a frequent basis. Fast-track to burnout! Instead, develop your overall goals for each area, and focus on choosing one to three small things that can be done consistently - e.g., tidy up the kitchen desk twice a week, make the binder system more accessible so we're not just tossing papers around intending to insert them "some other time," etc.; give DH five sacred minutes of focused attention before he heads to work every morning. I hope that makes some sense!

 

Hope something in there helps. I admire your ambition and can't wait to find some for myself! :p

[fairfarmhand]

 

 

 

I would also caution against aiming for a standard that requires superhuman effort on a frequent basis. Fast-track to burnout! Instead, develop your overall goals for each area, and focus on choosing one to three small things that can be done consistently - e.g., tidy up the kitchen desk twice a week, make the binder system more accessible so we're not just tossing papers around intending to insert them "some other time," etc.; give DH five sacred minutes of focused attention before he heads to work every morning. I hope that makes some sense!

 

Hope something in there helps. I admire your ambition and can't wait to find some for myself! :p

 

Here's what I am thinking....I am going to give myself a weekly goal related to the monthly focus.

 

So for my organizational month, I will choose 4 of my most disorganized areas and sort them out, one area per week. That gives me whole week to accomplish it. So that would probably be my sewing/laundry room, my closet, my kitchen cabinets (did you know that I have FIVE junk drawers in my kitchen!!!!), and my kids' closets.

 

Another question....do time management and procrastination reform each get their own months or are they closely related enough to go together? :rolleyes:

 

Thanks for the suggestions Miss Mousie! I like the idea of Marriage Month being close to my anniversary.

[Jan in SC]

I would write a goal and then break it into smal measurable tasks.

 

Ex- I want to study the first 7 books of the Old Testament in 2013.

1. I will read the Bible for 15 minutes three times a week. (Mom, tues, thurs.)

2. I will work through xxx Bible study for those seven chapters on Wednesday for 30 minutes.

 

Ex- I want to improve my overall fitness in 2013.

1. I will walk 20 minutes four times a week before lunch.

2. I will take my children to an active outing every other week and I will fully participate.

3. I will do stretching exercises four days a week for 10 minutes.

 

You can obviously change your goals and the measurements as needed. I would choose two or three items and focus on those and have a more general idea for your other goals. As the new ones become part of your lifestyle, you add in more specific items for other goals.

[unsinkable]

Hey I am no help. I am aspiring to get to mediocre this year!!

 

Love it!

 

I had such a chaotic, traumatic childhood that I always joke that I want an "extra medium" adulthood.

[Miss Mousie]

Another question....do time management and procrastination reform each get their own months or are they closely related enough to go together? :rolleyes:

 

 

 

Because these are both "long-term behavior" areas, as opposed to "clean out the closets" areas, I would definitely give each its own month. And you know what? I don't think I'd make them adjacent months, so you'll have a "second wave" of sorts that doesn't come too quickly on the heels of trying to cement the new routines generated by the first.

 

Uh ... again, not sure I'm making sense. Darn this cold!

[Desert Rat]

Hey I am no help. I am aspiring to get to mediocre this year!!

 

 

Exactly this. Several years ago, we had finished up with the worst year yet. My goal for the new year was to drink more water. That's it. And guess what?! I did it. :)

 

OP, I admire your determination. That's a big list to tackle. I would do one a month. You said you wanted to start with Bible study and prayer. Make little goals regarding that for January. Add on another goal in February while maintaining January's. And so on.

[mommymilkies]

I would write a goal and then break it into smal measurable tasks.

 

Ex- I want to study the first 7 books of the Old Testament in 2013.

1. I will read the Bible for 15 minutes three times a week. (Mom, tues, thurs.)

2. I will work through xxx Bible study for those seven chapters on Wednesday for 30 minutes.

 

Ex- I want to improve my overall fitness in 2013.

1. I will walk 20 minutes four times a week before lunch.

2. I will take my children to an active outing every other week and I will fully participate.

3. I will do stretching exercises four days a week for 10 minutes.

 

You can obviously change your goals and the measurements as needed. I would choose two or three items and focus on those and have a more general idea for your other goals. As the new ones become part of your lifestyle, you add in more specific items for other goals.

 

 

Great idea. OP, I am right with you! Though I would definitely label many of those as sub-par for me depending on the day. I have been reading the GTD thread and making a million lists (one of my favorite hobbies) and really need to break down what I need to work on for myself-not just tasks that need done. I've been thinking of setting a goal a week and working day and night and really focusing on that one thing for the day (while hopefully not forgetting the other ones that should become habit).

[torikei]

Great ideas! I might have to try this too.

 

Tori

[fairfarmhand]

January- Bible study

February- Prayer

March- Time management

April- Fitness

May- Diet

June- Parenting

July-Procrastination Reform

August- Fun

September- Marriage

October-Organization

November-Homeschooling

December-

 

So here we go. This is my tentative breakdown....I am open to suggestions and rearranging it. And I need one more category.

 

Suggestions?

[Miss Mousie]

And I need one more category.

 

Suggestions?

 

 

Review and Revel In Success! :)

[Anne]

 

Great idea. OP, I am right with you! Though I would definitely label many of those as sub-par for me depending on the day. I have been reading the GTD thread and making a million lists (one of my favorite hobbies) and really need to break down what I need to work on for myself-not just tasks that need done. I've been thinking of setting a goal a week and working day and night and really focusing on that one thing for the day (while hopefully not forgetting the other ones that should become habit).

 

 

Where is the GTD thread? Sounds like something I need to read!

 

Thanks,

Anne

[Scarlett]

I've been thinking lately. (dangerous thing!)

 

One thing that I am concerned about is that in so many areas of my life, I am settling for "Good Enough."

 

While I am not doing fabulous at my diet, it's not that bad.

My weight..I have about 15 pounds that I need to lose, but I'm not that fat and most of my clothes still fit.

Spiritually... I'm doing okay. Nothing to write home about.

Organizationally, I am managing. There's still mess in way too many places but I can find most of what I need.

Homeschooling...well, it's all right. I'm not failing by any means, but neither am I excelling.

Fitness...Definitely could be better there, but it's okay.

Marriage and parenting....meh. Its fine.

 

I am not excelling in any area of my life. Most of all, I think it is because I am distracted. I feel that I am pulled in 100 directions most of the time. I know that it is unrealistic to expect amazingness all of the time in every area, but I do feel that I could improve almost every area of my life and give greater effort.

 

So in 2013, I am changing the way that I look at things. I am hoping to figure out 12 areas of my life and each month focus on improving that one area. While I know that I probably won't be able to maintain excellence in more that one or two areas all at the same time, I am hoping that by focusing on that area for a couple weeks will teach me some things about myself and give me some traction in my life.

 

So this is part of the reason that I deleted Facebook and I think that after the first of the year, I will be limiting my WTM forum time too. But it will be okay. I believe that this is where God has been leading me through the past couple months and I am excited about the changes.

 

Anyway, here's my list so far of the focuses that I will be working on. (in no particular order)

 

1. Prayer

2. Bible study

3. Marriage

4. Parenting

5. Homeschooling

6. Organization

7. Time management

8. Fitness

9. Diet

10. Fun (I am such a serious, routine person. Why do I have to write fun on my list?)

 

 

SO there are my thoughts. I need some suggestions to finish it out.

 

Secondly, does anyone have any suggestions about the order in which I should tackle these?

 

 

Friendships

Charity work (and this can be as simple as helping out a neighor or a family member in some way)

[SJ.]

I would definitely have fitness somewhere near the beginning. For myself, once i began working out everything else fell into place - I ate healthier, I felt better, I became a better mother, I became a better wife, I had more energy, you get the gist.

 

This idea of yours is beautiful fairfarmhand, I wish you the best on your journey this new year!

[laughing lioness]

Getting Things Done Thread....GREAT stuff! I linked a couple of Looking Back/looking ahead in the middle of the page- from AONC and another site. Great stuff as far as what you want to get done, breaking it down in to manageble action steps, deadlines, etc. Have a Great New Year!

[LibraryLover]

Hey I am no help. I am aspiring to get to mediocre this year!!

 

 

lol Yes. I have a huge life change coming up, and my greatest goal is to simply tread water.

 

I also recommend the documentary Happy, which is streaming on Netflix.

[vmsurbat]

One little suggestion as you make goals: don't aim for perfection all the time. What do I mean? Two examples from my life this past year:

 

Email Inbox: I had let my inbox grow to 700+ emails in there. I read somewhere (maybe the Zen blog?) about a ZERO email inbox daily---that's right--process them all, whether filing, replying, or putting on a to do list. Sounded great to me. I spent a week whittling my inbox down to none, zero, nada. But I didn't like it. It made my inbox look "cold" to me. I like seeing, right at the ready, my kids (away from home) emails to read and reread, or the latest newletter from someone I care about. So I adapted to "only the number of emails that I can see on my monitor", which is about 14. That way, I don't lose track of anything and I can always have fewer than the max (and often do).

 

Chair by my bed: I put a new (for us) upholstered chair near my bed a couple of months ago. Soon, it was piled with things and looked messy which I didn't like. I decided that I wouldn't put ANYTHING on it. But that fell short because I like to air my clothes after wearing and the best place is on the chair. So I modified to "everything has to be put away when I get dressed in the morning." My clothes air overnight and then are either put away or put in the hamper. No more pile-up and the few clothes draped overnight don't bother me on the tidyness scale like they did when left out all day.

 

So, all that to say, I found goals/limits that work for ME.

[JumpyTheFrog]

I would put cleaning up your diet before fitness. For many people, cutting the junk out gives the improvement they need to even feel up to starting an exercise program. Also, an improvement in your energy will make it easier to continue the program, rather than just give up.

 

I listened to a podcast recently about forming new habits. The guest said that a study showed that participants took anywhere from 18 to about 150 days to form whatever new habit was being studied. He said we often hear "It takes 21 days to make a habit" but that the study showed there is a big variation between people. I imagine that some habits also take longer than others for a particular person.

 

Your list is very ambitious. I feel overwhelmed just reading it! What is the one habit that would the biggest difference in the rest of your life? Think about the 80/20 rule. 80% of the benefits will probably come from just 20% of the new habits. In other words, choose the 2-3 habits that would make the biggest difference and don't bother with any of the others (unless they are easy habits that you already almost do) until you establish them.

[LibraryLover]

As for email. If you're constantly getting A Eagle, Rachel Ray, or Lands' End updates etc, you can request they be stopped. In each email they ask (at the bottom) if you want to stop receiving updates. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. I even stopped Groupon, as I realized I never once bought anything, no matter how great the deal.

[Cindy in FL.]

I think I'd add self education to the list.

[Impish]

Hey I am no help. I am aspiring to get to mediocre this year!!

Me too!

[mommymilkies]

 

Where is the GTD thread? Sounds like something I need to read!

 

Thanks,

Anne

 

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/442845-so-from-discouraged-now-organizing-to-have-time-for-the-components-of-your-life/

 

:)

[shanvan]

No suggestions, just cheering you on. I'm in the same place and getting ready to do the same things. Sounds like you've read The Happiness Project. Have you checked out the resources on the blog that will help you keep track of your goals?

 

Scroll down to the Make and Track section and you can download a sample chart.

[Catwoman]

Hey I am no help. I am aspiring to get to mediocre this year!!

 

I'm right there with you! :)

[readinmom]

I know we all reflect on what we can do better, especially at the beginning of a new year. Maybe you could approach it in smaller chunks, more specific, that your other goals could fall under. Some of us approached Christmas giving into fours: something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. If you applied the same principles it could look something like this, and not so overwhelming...

 

Want: Homeschooling goals

Need: Family/Spiritual life

Wear: Lose 10 pounds, be a size X by Thanksgiving, workout goals, etc.

Read: Bible, other books or educational goals