Article: "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother"

[PrincessMommy]

I thought it was a great article and definitely agree with the others who said it was a disuccusion we need to have. Unfortunately I think it will do little. I remember it being discussed when Va.Tech happened.

[unsinkable]

 

 

And think of the kids OF the mentally ill, people who don't write heart-rending articles and who don't cope. I know a man who, at age 7, witnessed his psychotic grandmother kill his psychotic mother.

 

And as to the comments on the article, I think there is a rather basic human response to mental illness: fear and loathing. The average Jill on the street has this gut reaction to the insane. I often struck by the idea we do NOTHING to deserve our genes and our upbringing, we just PLOP arrive on earth with them. A heartfelt realization that you could have been that poor schmuck muttering and scratching on the street would go a long ways. If you teach your children anything about mental illness, make that the foundation.

 

I agree.

 

The average Jill also has a horrified reaction to seizures, too. The noises, the movement, the incontinence...I try not to look at other people's faces when DD seizes in public. I try to tell myself people are doing the best they can.

[8circles]

And think of the kids OF the mentally ill, people who don't write heart-rending articles and who don't cope. I know a man who, at age 7, witnessed his psychotic grandmother kill his psychotic mother.

 

And as to the comments on the article, I think there is a rather basic human response to mental illness: fear and loathing. The average Jill on the street has this gut reaction to the insane. I often struck by the idea we do NOTHING to deserve our genes and our upbringing, we just PLOP arrive on earth with them. A heartfelt realization that you could have been that poor schmuck muttering and scratching on the street would go a long ways. If you teach your children anything about mental illness, make that the foundation.

 

 

You know, I agree. But I think its hard to not have fear & loathing to mentally ill people who hurt you & do things worthy of fear. My sister is MI. She scares me & I do loathe her, as much as I hate to type that its true. I also love her, as my sister, and don't wish her any harm. I pray for her to be healed regularly. But I'm not sure there's anything I can do besides that. I have compassion, but that itself is pretty powerless.

 

She's a master manipulator, too, and has almost finished her degree in psycho-therapy. Lord help us.

[Alessandra]

The article is heartbreaking.

 

I read something in the NY Times this weekend -- a study of people who had committed mass shooting crimes.

 

'Most had left a road map of red flags, plotting their attacks and accumulating weapons. In the 100 rampage killings reviewed, 54 of the killers had talked explicitly of when and where they would act, and against whom. In 34 of the cases, worried friends or family members had desperately sought help in advance, only to be rebuffed by the police, school officials or mental health workers.'

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/15/nyregion/sandy-hook-shooting-forces-re-examination-of-tough-questions.html?_r=0

 

It seems there is no help, or very little help. Parts of the op's article that resonated with me

 

'No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.'

 

'I don't believe my son belongs in jail.'

 

Where, oh where is the treatment?

[GinaPagnato]

Okay, here's what I've been thinking. Would there be some means of channeling the intelligence and aptitude of some of these MI individuals for good purposes? Many of them, including Lanza, have been described as geniuses, with high IQs. Are there programs that work to harness their gifts and make them work, work, work in fields that are of great interest to them? I'm ignorant in this regard; perhaps there already are such programs.

 

I'm just thinking of teenage boys. And hormones. And anger. AND mental illness. When we have boys who aren't mentally ill, we recommend to one another that it's important to keep them busy and active. Tire them out physically and mentally, kwim? So, are there programs that can assess these individuals and say, "Okay, this guy is a math wiz. We're going to have him work in a related field under supervised conditions (internships/mentoring/apprenticing) so he can receive praise for his giftedness, and have the satisfaction of working for something meaningful.

 

Could this be done?

[8circles]

Okay, here's what I've been thinking. Would there be some means of channeling the intelligence and aptitude of some of these MI individuals for good purposes? Many of them, including Lanza, have been described as geniuses, with high IQs. Are there programs that work to harness their gifts and make them work, work, work in fields that are of great interest to them? I'm ignorant in this regard; perhaps there already are such programs.

 

I'm just thinking of teenage boys. And hormones. And anger. AND mental illness. When we have boys who aren't mentally ill, we recommend to one another that it's important to keep them busy and active. Tire them out physically and mentally, kwim? So, are there programs that can assess these individuals and say, "Okay, this guy is a math wiz. We're going to have him work in a related field under supervised conditions (internships/mentoring/apprenticing) so he can receive praise for his giftedness, and have the satisfaction of working for something meaningful.

 

Could this be done?

 

I think its worth persuing. I'm not sure how it would work without some form of forcing to follow the program. My MI sister is very smart, I don't know about genius but very smart. She can barely read an analog clock but has a master's degree in, I won't say because it'll be too identifying. She was breezing-through law school & dropped-out when her professor was "out to get her". She's now studying psychotherapy & knows all the tricks about what to say & how to play the game. But, she can't hold down a job because her coworkers are always plotting to make her look bad. She looks fine to most people but can snap at any time. She refuses treatment. She cycles through different addictions (never illegal drugs AFAIK) - right now she's borderline anorexic. She lives with my parents. I've recently come to the conclusion that I can no longer expose myself or my children to her abuse. It scares me that that itself could push her over the edge & she knows where I live. Sounds irrational to most people but I assure you its not.

 

How do you harness anything with her?

[Denisemomof4]

Momoflaw, your fear doesn't sound irrational at all. I completely understand. :(

[Candid]

Okay, here's what I've been thinking. Would there be some means of channeling the intelligence and aptitude of some of these MI individuals for good purposes? Many of them, including Lanza, have been described as geniuses, with high IQs. Are there programs that work to harness their gifts and make them work, work, work in fields that are of great interest to them? I'm ignorant in this regard; perhaps there already are such programs.

 

I'm just thinking of teenage boys. And hormones. And anger. AND mental illness. When we have boys who aren't mentally ill, we recommend to one another that it's important to keep them busy and active. Tire them out physically and mentally, kwim? So, are there programs that can assess these individuals and say, "Okay, this guy is a math wiz. We're going to have him work in a related field under supervised conditions (internships/mentoring/apprenticing) so he can receive praise for his giftedness, and have the satisfaction of working for something meaningful.

 

Could this be done?

 

Maybe, but it depends. For an alternate story line for a similar kind of kid: http://www.amazon.com/The-Radioactive-Boy-Scout-Frightening/dp/0812966600/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355757169&sr=8-1&keywords=the+radioactive+boy+scout

 

His mother is mentally ill, his father probably has aspergers, and his step family (that he lives with) is detached from him. He injures himself so badly it takes a year and multiple surgeries to repair his eye. Still no adults pay enough attention to realize this child is building a nuclear device (not a weapon, just an energy source, but an energy source that can wipe out a huge amount of land and people around it if it goes wrong).

 

The boy scout should have been better monitored but then maybe he would have been Adam Lanza. Hard to say.

[unsinkable]

Okay, here's what I've been thinking. Would there be some means of channeling the intelligence and aptitude of some of these MI individuals for good purposes? Many of them, including Lanza, have been described as geniuses, with high IQs. Are there programs that work to harness their gifts and make them work, work, work in fields that are of great interest to them? I'm ignorant in this regard; perhaps there already are such programs.

 

I'm just thinking of teenage boys. And hormones. And anger. AND mental illness. When we have boys who aren't mentally ill, we recommend to one another that it's important to keep them busy and active. Tire them out physically and mentally, kwim? So, are there programs that can assess these individuals and say, "Okay, this guy is a math wiz. We're going to have him work in a related field under supervised conditions (internships/mentoring/apprenticing) so he can receive praise for his giftedness, and have the satisfaction of working for something meaningful.

 

Could this be done?

 

It sounds like they might have tried to get him interested/involved with computers....and maybe guns?

[LibraryLover]

It sounds like they might have tried to get him interested/involved with computers....and maybe guns?

 

 

 

I remember reading that another child- Kip?- who killed his parents and two students, had parents who also tried to channel his energy and obsession (?) with guns by taking him to target practice. They knew he wasn't well and were trying various ways to work with him. (Is it possible to go to a practice range and borrow guns? Or do you need to own your own?)

 

Maybe young men in need would do better working nature, or maybe a horse ranch. (Of something not about guns beyond gaming). I don't know. It's possible Adam got the best care available- not saying the best care available is the best care. Obviously. He was from a very upper middle class/wealthy family (325k year in child support and alimony), and probably did have access to care.

 

I guess there is too much we don't know about *how* to care for the mentally ill, even if some resources are available.

[dbmamaz]

in my experience its really hard to find technical mentors who are gifted enough in human relationships to be able to really help a disturbed, brilliant, tech-leaning kids. its also hard because the areas of their intersts arent always going to be areas that have practical applications, and expensive science and technology tools are generally paid for by companies looking for a way to find new products or new employees. plus, the most effective services for troubled people are generally the first to be cut when times are tough . . . if its not prison or a hospital, its not necessary.

 

My sister is also mentally ill. the last time I saw her she spent hours with my daughter, telling her what an awful person I was. My daughter was maybe 14 at the time? she said she'd seen a side of her aunt she hadnt known existed and hadnt wanted to see.

 

i hate to say it but sometimes i think we have to accept that mental illness is a part of life . ..a very horrible part of life . . . but not one we can get rid of as easily as we've gotten rid of polio and death from pneumonia.

[sassenach]

And think of the kids OF the mentally ill, people who don't write heart-rending articles and who don't cope. I know a man who, at age 7, witnessed his psychotic grandmother kill his psychotic mother.

 

And as to the comments on the article, I think there is a rather basic human response to mental illness: fear and loathing. The average Jill on the street has this gut reaction to the insane. I often struck by the idea we do NOTHING to deserve our genes and our upbringing, we just PLOP arrive on earth with them. A heartfelt realization that you could have been that poor schmuck muttering and scratching on the street would go a long ways. If you teach your children anything about mental illness, make that the foundation.

I'm kind of amazed that anyone walking this earth could avoid interaction with the mentally ill. It seems like every family has at least 1 person. Maybe not in the immediate, but geez, let me list it out- bipolar gma (on one side), bipolar cousin(on the other side), a smattering of depression, personality disordered, and various other issues. Dh has a brother with schizophrenia (that scares the carp out of me when I think of my kids and genetics), his mom has a personality disorder at minimum....... Who are these people who get to skate through life without encountering MI?

 

Totally forgot my brother with Aspergers- gentlest human on the planet. I don't even really think of AS as a mental illness, though I know everyone has a different experience with it.

[Incognito]

The author of the article really isn't trying to assert that she is in the same situation. She is using the current situation to draw attention to the issue of youth/adult mental illness and the quandry families are in as regards treatment.

[Lady Florida.]

the comments really show how ignorant people are of this problem.

 

I found it terribly sad that people would make those comments after the mother poured her heart out in the article.

 

OR the right type of help for the worst cases has not yet been discovered.

 

I think this is quite possibly true. However, because people aren't willing to talk about severe mental illness, the kind that isn't helped by our current methods (meds or otherwise), progress is slow. Awareness and willingness to have a national and international conversation about MI can help move things along. That has often been the case with other diseases. Cancer was once called The Big C because no one wanted to talk about it. HIV is another example that needed awareness in order for more research and research money to become available. We must be willing to have the difficult conversations about this.

 

 

when the mentally ill become adults they can choose not to take medication or treatment anymore. I get that occured because of abuses, where people tried to control others by declaring them mentally ill.

 

A common occurence with mentally ill adults is that the medication makes them feel normal. For some reason they are unable to understand it's the medication, and think they're "okay", so they stop taking the meds. We've seen that cycle with someone we know, but are powerless to stop it.

[LibraryLover]

The author of the article really isn't trying to assert that she is in the same situation. She is using the current situation to draw attention to the issue of youth/adult mental illness and the quandry families are in as regards treatment.

 

 

 

I understand that. I did go read the article.

 

We really don't know how to care for the mentally ill, even when there is treatment. It's not enough, not the right, kind, not covered by insurance etc.

 

Each case/person has their own over-whelming needs. I guess we can't even begin to imagine how many children do not do harm, because the right combination of treatment was found. Do we have any sense of what might work, and was doesn't? Is it all just a giant crap shoot? Are their more mentally ill young men in the US than elsewhere in the world? Japan, Canada, and Australia have some of the lowest rates of homicide, mass and otherwise. What do their mental health programs offer that we do not? Are their services more coordinated, less expensive?

[asta]

Autism spectrum disorders (including Asperger's) are not mental illnesses. They are a different wiring of the brain - no different than how one person may be a polyglot and another have a photographic memory. No one knows what causes any of them - Autism, being a polyglot, or having a photographic memory. The brain is a big, big place, about which we actually know very little.

 

If one reads the non-sensational snippets of the news stories out there, one finds that the killer in question had to have a special aide due to an inability to feel pain. e.g. the aide had to prevent him from burning himself or getting cuts. That is a genetic problem normally referred to as congenital analgesia. Things like that don't come in isolation: when a gene is damaged to that degree, a person will have things going wrong elsewhere.

 

This is a person who was already in university at age 16. Despite whatever was going on with his body or his mood, he was obviously intelligent. No one in the general public will ever know exactly what was going on in his mind simply because the one person who could tell the story is dead.

 

 

a

[asta]

P.S. The author of this article, I believe, does the public a great disservice by lumping the reality of her son's life with the general populace of the mentally ill. In study after study, the mentally ill are found to be on the receiving end of violence, not the perpetrators.

 

What this woman is dealing with is not what millions of mentally ill deal with every day - e.g. depression, bipolar, schizoaffective. She is dealing with a child who has something very, very wrong at an intrinsic level. This isn't a "oh, take this pill go to this therapy" situation. As sad as it is to say, her child sounds as if he is one of the very few individuals on this planet whose brains simply aren't firing in a safe manner.

 

 

a

[AnIslandGirl]

Autism spectrum disorders (including Asperger's) are not mental illnesses.

 

According to the new DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to be released officially May 2013) ASD is a mental illness, contrary to popular belief. By categorizing it as such, patients are able to get medical treatment covered through insurance policies and educational accommodations to help support more children.

[Incognito]

I understand that. I did go read the article.

 

We really don't know how to care for the mentally ill, even when there is treatment. It's not enough, not the right, kind, not covered by insurance etc.

 

Each case/person has their own over-whelming needs. I guess we can't even begin to imagine how many children do not do harm, because the right combination of treatment was found. Do we have any sense of what might work, and was doesn't? Is it all just a giant crap shoot? Are their more mentally ill young men in the US than elsewhere in the world? Japan, Canada, and Australia have some of the lowest rates of homicide, mass and otherwise. What do their mental health programs offer that we do not? Are their services more coordinated, less expensive?

 

I don't know extensively, but I am in Canada and know one person well who is bouncing around in the system because of issues like this. For this individual, it has been far from perfect but after being locked up a few times he has been able to get some help. He was most recently living in a halfway house type thing, but after expressing to someone violent thoughts he has been put back in the prison mental institution. It was part of his parole, as I understand. For his family, it has been hard. There was one point where his father was considering provoking him to attack him, so he could get his son locked up an be forced to get the help he needed. So in Canada, it is not perfect. But if there are no group home type situations in the US, then it is better here. The group home thing has been good for this individual. It is about the only real shot this person has of leading a somewhat normal life on the "outside".

 

I think one of the biggest problems is the issue of medications/non-compliance and how to force someone to comply. I empathize and understand why someone doesn't want to be on drugs with strong side effects all the time, but having seen what happens when a person thinks they are "fine" and then spirals again and again - having to be incarcerated and forcing compliance as parole works (sort of, for a time), but it would be sooo much better if there were laws available to force compliance in other cases.

[justLisa]

I read the article. I am having a hard time getting past the title, because I hate it. I hate all of the comparisons coming out of this. I don't know it bothers me but it does. This is horrible. But NOTHING else is like it. Maybe similar, maybe it gets a lot of people thinking and relating to it. But no one is his mother or like her because they don't know. She is dead.

 

There is mental illness on my father's side. My grandmother passed away and was on several different meds. My uncle did something horrible 30 years ago or so and is in a home now and will be forever. My parents moved to another state to get away from family. My mother worried about us losing a dad because he was always called to handle one of his brother's schizophrenic fits.

 

I definitely think there needs to be more awareness. I don't know how this will happen, but it needs to take presidence over some of the other issues on the forefront

[EmilyK]

I definitely agree with the concerns about the mental health system.

 

this article gave me a different perspective on the original article.

 

http://sarahkendzior.com/2012/12/16/want-the-truth-behind-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-read-her-blog/

[I.Dup.]

I read the article. I am having a hard time getting past the title, because I hate it. I hate all of the comparisons coming out of this. I don't know it bothers me but it does. This is horrible. But NOTHING else is like it. Maybe similar, maybe it gets a lot of people thinking and relating to it. But no one is his mother or like her because they don't know. She is dead.

 

There is mental illness on my father's side. My grandmother passed away and was on several different meds. My uncle did something horrible 30 years ago or so and is in a home now and will be forever. My parents moved to another state to get away from family. My mother worried about us losing a dad because he was always called to handle one of his brother's schizophrenic fits.

 

I definitely think there needs to be more awareness. I don't know how this will happen, but it needs to take presidence over some of the other issues on the forefront

 

 

 

I agree and I was put off for the same reasons you listed.

[Denisemomof4]

I read the article. I am having a hard time getting past the title, because I hate it. I hate all of the comparisons coming out of this. I don't know it bothers me but it does. This is horrible. But NOTHING else is like it. Maybe similar, maybe it gets a lot of people thinking and relating to it. But no one is his mother or like her because they don't know. She is dead.

 

There is mental illness on my father's side. My grandmother passed away and was on several different meds. My uncle did something horrible 30 years ago or so and is in a home now and will be forever. My parents moved to another state to get away from family. My mother worried about us losing a dad because he was always called to handle one of his brother's schizophrenic fits.

 

I definitely think there needs to be more awareness. I don't know how this will happen, but it needs to take presidence over some of the other issues on the forefront

 

 

but going on that one blog post alone, can't you see this is a scared, single mom raising a disturbed son who she fears? I can understand how she feels like she is raising someone like that monster. This is what she fears. She is also a single mom. Her lawyer husband also left her for someone else, another thing she has common with N.L.

 

I can identify with N.L. Too but I can't comprehend ever placing a gun into an unstable person's hand, let alone buy them an ASSAULT RIFLE. It just doesn't make sense unless she was also unstable.

 

ETA: nothing else is like it. i agree with that. What is sad is that the woman fears she is raising someone like that. She won't be the first one and it is horrific to be in that situation.

[justLisa]

but going on that one blog post alone, can't you see this is a scared, single mom raising a disturbed son who she fears? I can understand how she feels like she is raising someone like that monster. This is what she fears. She is also a single mom. Her lawyer husband also left her for someone else, another thing she has common with N.L.

 

I can identify with N.L. Too but I can't comprehend ever placing a gun into an unstable person's hand, let alone buy them an ASSAULT RIFLE. It just doesn't make sense unless she was also unstable.

 

 

Oh I totally see that from the post. I just don't like the title of it. I am not hugely invested in feelings about it, it's just bothersome all around

[Denisemomof4]

 

 

Oh I totally see that from the post. I just don't like the title of it. I am not hugely invested in feelings about it, it's just bothersome all around

 

 

I can understand that. :)

[I.Dup.]

I definitely agree with the concerns about the mental health system.

 

this article gave me a different perspective on the original article.

 

http://sarahkendzior...-read-her-blog/

 

 

Wow. I do think it was highly inappropriate and odd for her to use the title she did.

[Denisemomof4]

 

 

Oh I totally see that from the post. I just don't like the title of it. I am not hugely invested in feelings about it, it's just bothersome all around

 

 

I can understand that. :)

[Denisemomof4]

Stupid Verizon wireless.

[Denisemomof4]

:angry:

[justLisa]

Really Denise? Ok I hear you already :lol:

[I.Dup.]

Denise, step away from the post button. :D

[Denisemomof4]

Ladies!!! :lol: I kept getting an "internal error" message!!!

 

But I understand Lisa's stance and all. :biggrinjester:

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Wow. I do think it was highly inappropriate and odd for her to use the title she did.

 

My understanding is that was not the title she originally gave it. I don't know who changed it to this one.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Wow. I do think it was highly inappropriate and odd for her to use the title she did.

 

My understanding is that was not the title she originally gave it. I don't know who changed it to this one.

[justLisa]

The board is currently being freakish.

[justLisa]

The board is currently being freakish.

[justLisa]

The board is currently being freakish.

[Denisemomof4]

Eta because I thought Lisa was teasing me (and I welcomed a break from the heavy content of this thread) but I just saw Bill post FIVE times to the wine thread so........ Editing. :)

[Denisemomof4]

:)

[Denisemomof4]

Yes, again.:)

[asta]

According to the new DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to be released officially May 2013) ASD is a mental illness, contrary to popular belief. By categorizing it as such, patients are able to get medical treatment covered through insurance policies and educational accommodations to help support more children.

 

 

A few things:

 

One, it is currently December 2012, not May 2013.

 

Two, a mental "disorder" is not the same as a mental "illness". The DSM has all sorts of nifty (sarc) things in it:

 

DSM-V at a Glance

 

Highlights of the proposed changes for the upcoming fifth version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) include psychotic disorders, mood disorders, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, addiction and related disorders, eating disorders, sexual and gender identity disorders, ADHD and disruptive behaviors, childhood and adolescent disorders, neurocognitive disorders, neurodevelopmental disorders, sleep-wake disorders, and somatic distress disorders.

 

Three, Categorizing something as a mental illness just to (hopefully) get another entity to pay a bill helps no one in the long run.

 

Four, Homosexuality, Hysteria (as in, WOMAN, you are HYSTERIC!), and some other equally stupid @ss things have been in prior iterations of the DSM. It isn't the bible or a bible; it is a consensus document that is put together by a bunch of pantywaists who have been bought and paid for by PHarma for so long they wouldn't be able to find their way to a hospital if you wheeled them in through the psych ward.

 

/soapbox

 

 

a

[Candid]

My understanding is that was not the title she originally gave it. I don't know who changed it to this one.

 

 

The first title was "Thinking the Unthinkable." However, the new title is presumably changed by her since it now appears that way on her blog.

[I.Dup.]

A few things:

 

One, it is currently December 2012, not May 2013.

 

Two, a mental "disorder" is not the same as a mental "illness". The DSM has all sorts of nifty (sarc) things in it:

 

[/font][/color][/size]

 

Three, Categorizing something as a mental illness just to (hopefully) get another entity to pay a bill helps no one in the long run.

 

Four, Homosexuality, Hysteria (as in, WOMAN, you are HYSTERIC!), and some other equally stupid @ss things have been in prior iterations of the DSM. It isn't the bible or a bible; it is a consensus document that is put together by a bunch of pantywaists who have been bought and paid for by PHarma for so long they wouldn't be able to find their way to a hospital if you wheeled them in through the psych ward.

 

/soapbox

 

 

a

 

 

 

LOL! Love it.

 

I heard the same thing about the title change, I'm sure it was a ploy to gain more readers. Still in bad taste, IMO.

[Dory]

 

A common occurence with mentally ill adults is that the medication makes them feel normal. For some reason they are unable to understand it's the medication, and think they're "okay", so they stop taking the meds. We've seen that cycle with someone we know, but are powerless to stop it.

 

I know that personally when I'm feeling better, it's not that I don't realize the meds are working, but there's this hope that maybe whatever is wrong with me is fixed now and I can leave it all behind. I have yet to take meds that make me feel ok though. They can numb me out enough that I seem better, but it's a horrible feeling to have a normally active brain slow down to the pace of a snail. I am mild enough with my problems that I have managed to find natural ways of handling things. It's not as pretty, but it works and there isn't the danger of me going off my meds or me feeling so horribly numb.

[Alessandra]

Okay, here's what I've been thinking. Would there be some means of channeling the intelligence and aptitude of some of these MI individuals for good purposes? Many of them, including Lanza, have been described as geniuses, with high IQs. Are there programs that work to harness their gifts and make them work, work, work in fields that are of great interest to them? I'm ignorant in this regard; perhaps there already are such programs.

 

I'm just thinking of teenage boys. And hormones. And anger. AND mental illness. When we have boys who aren't mentally ill, we recommend to one another that it's important to keep them busy and active. Tire them out physically and mentally, kwim? So, are there programs that can assess these individuals and say, "Okay, this guy is a math wiz. We're going to have him work in a related field under supervised conditions (internships/mentoring/apprenticing) so he can receive praise for his giftedness, and have the satisfaction of working for something meaningful.

 

Could this be done?

 

Here is an article about a Danish father who has a company that successfully employs people on the spectrum.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/02/magazine/the-autism-advantage.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

 

'For nearly a decade, the company has been modest in size — it employs 35 high-functioning autistic workers who are hired out as consultants, as they are called, to 19 companies in Denmark — but it has grand ambitions. In Europe, Sonne is a minor celebrity who has met with Danish and Belgian royalty, and at the World Economic Forum meeting in Tianjin in September, he was named one of 26 winners of a global social entrepreneurship award. Specialisterne has inspired start-ups and has five of its own, around the world. In the next few months, Sonne plans to move with his family to the United States, where the number of autistic adults — roughly 50,000 turn 18 every year — as well as a large technology sector suggests a good market for expansion.'

[cathmom]

These are the adults that can survive on their own in society, because they are higher functioning. It is a lot of work, but so worth it. I don't think the author of the article has that choice or will have that option later.

I'm no expert in this field, I'm only relating what my dh had to go through for years while he worked his way through college. There are some options out there for people who are mentally ill or have disabilities and hopefully there will be more options in the years to come.

 

My dh works for a company that helps these kind of people live in the community, and the hardest thing is that the state CONSTANTLY changes the rules on them. When budgets are tight care for the mentally ill is the first thing cut. They are adults, they have rights, they can't be forced to do anything, even take their meds. There is very little inpatient care anymore - they keep trying to run mental health care for profit but there is no profit to be made, so the care is less and less. The state needs to spend money on these people's care or WE WILL ALL PAY. Jail is not the appropriate place but it's the only option in many cases now.

[TravelingChris]

I was listening to a talk show today and the host talked about a recent study about the mentally ill, homicide rates and the level of care in given states that was available. There was a direct correlation with not having proper facilities for the mentally ill and having mass murders occurring. That is because, unlike regular murders, mass murders are normally done by the mentally ill, particularly either bipolar or even more commonly paranoid schizophrenics. So according to this professor, the answer is having appropriate mental health facilities and the laws to enforce placement in them. I think there could very easily be safeguards in place not to let the bad practices of old occur. I don't think most people with MI relatives are looking to clog up facilities with promiscous teens or whoever used to be wrongly placed in these facilities. But when you have a fully grown adult hell bent on either committing suicide or hurting others, you need to have safe place for them which isn't jail. Oh and it isn't just a problem with young adults. The mental health units in Florida are full of elderly patients kicked out of nursing homes for being violent. The units can't find anyone to accept them and so they stay in a mental health facility which is not set up to deal with Alzheimer people at all. I mean every one else there is a major depressive, bi-polar or schizophrenic and they are Alzheimer patients who have turned violent. It really isn't the same and they become both victims and victimizers of others because it is hard when the old man is over six feet tall, big and violent.

[kalanamak]

I'm kind of amazed that anyone walking this earth could avoid interaction with the mentally ill.

 

Aside from seeing a homeless person on a city street circa 1969, I didn't know anything about mental illness as a kid (and that person might just have been an old drunk). I saw a panic attack when I was 17, a friend's mother, but it wasn't that dramatic and I didn't know what it was.

 

I recall a man at a huge (100s of people) rural music festival saying some odd things to me, but I really think it was just trying to share my sleeping bag, and thought this made him sound mystical or something. (He hadn't checked that I was an ISTJ and find all mystical stuff bosh).

 

I saw a man on LSD stare at the sun in college, and a very odd Libertarian (self-proclaimed) who clutched a plastic model of a battle ship and wore cowboy boots and stomped slugs in college, too, but I didn't think about mental illness at the time. I met three proclaimed Libertarians in college and this was the one I preferred, actually. My vision of mental illness was Shock Corridor or One Flew Over The Cookoos Nest (which I read and then saw the movie).

 

I didn't have a clue, nor see truly decomped people until med school, and I have no one in my family or social life who is mentally ill. I have some family members I consider foolish, or selfish, but nothing in the DSM.

[FaithManor]

Dd the medic, is all for inpatient, long term treatment facilities. This is because she sees the end of it that the police see. She is there to talk the person down and try to prevent them from hurting themselves while PD is enroute to help. She is there to pick up the person they have hurt - the innocent spouse stabbed by his schizeophrenic wife that he's been valiantly trying to care for because there isn't anywhere else for her to go - the attempted suicide, the murder victim, and the suicide that was successful. Oh, the 13 year whom she could not rescucitate who had been mentally ill for so long that her suicide was actually a relief for her parents, who had SERIOUS health problems because of taking care of her so long without assistance - in home assistance or long term in patient and maybe that child would still be alive, maybe those parents wouldn't be dealing with that tragedy.

 

I have an aunt that is schizophrenic. To be honest, my cousins are practically looking forward to the day she passes away. It may sound cruel, but if you knew what they have had to deal with day in and day out, you might not think it sounds so cruel. My aunt is completely and utterly tortured in her mind. She has no peace and no rationality with which to process the fact that she's a tortured soul. It is truly horrendous.

 

I've watched what my cousins have endured both throughout their childhoods and now as the adults who are responsible for her. Additionally, I've done respite care for children with RAD. I have physical scars from that. This leads me to believe that we need to fund some beautiful, well-run, tightly controlled, safe, secure mental health facilities where loved ones can place their relatives when they can no longer care for them and NOT feel guilty about doing so.

 

However, what is offered for out-patient care in this nation is pathetic. At some point, the tax payers should rise up. Seriously, the state doesn't want to pay for anything and private insurance doesn't want to either which means no help, no therapy, no safety, no....meanwhile, mentally ill people get taken advantage of, get injured, abused, and killed out on the streets and the mostly deeply disturbed are a danger to themselves and others. It's high time this country had some honest discussions about MI, and shifted our spending priorities. I'm appalled at all of the things that get paid for with public money and then there is ZERO community mental health assistance.

 

For what it is worth, a city not all that far from my home, once had a psych hospital, a true, blue psych hospital and it was fantastic! It was a loving, nuturing facility with several levels of care from minimal, to out patient, to respite care for those keeping their loved ones at home but needing regular breaks (often families were offered one weekend of residential care per month, a week at Christmas, and three weeks total for the rest of the year which may not sound like much but it was LIFE for those families and a chance to take their other children and do something together that normally would not be possible).

 

When my uncle with MS was suicidal, he spent 30 days there and they helped him a huge bunch. In home services that he needed were coordinated from there from that time forward until he had to go to a nursing home.

 

The workers were HIGHLY trained. I can't say enough good things about it.

 

Then the state decided it didn't want to fund that anymore. Private insurance companies dropped their coverage of inpatient services to on 72 hold per year. Several activist groups picketed and said it was EVIL to place your relative in long term care. Without support, it closed it's doors. The number of homeless individuals in that community SKYROCKETED. The number of children abandoned to foster care because their parents had no where to turn grew exponentially. Violence against the mentally ill increased by those same numbers. Deaths on the streets exploded. Some 15 years later, it is VERY easy to see how devestating it was to lose that facility and the top notch people that worked there.

 

Some people require 24/7 never close your eyes care. One or two adults that have to work jobs and take care of other people can not provide this in the home. Something has to give.

 

I know from experience. Dh and I cared for a minor in our home, not one of our own children but a relative, for six months. Of the first six weeks, she was suicidal and med changes were necessary. It was the most bone tired, exhausting, emotionally crushing experience we've ever had. We NEVER slept at the same time. Never...we were on a suicide watch. We never turned out backs. If dh was not there, I couldn't shower, change my clothes, walk to the mail box, anything unless I kept her at my side. No privacy, fear of taking her anywhere, fear for our other children, no sleep, the morning comes anyway, trips to the psyche specialists, trips to the therapists, trips to the pediatricians, trips to the social worker, homeschooling responsibilities in order to try to keep educating her, and no sleep....night after night after night of sitting with her, listening for every noise, jumping at every sound, crying over her, loving her, wishing things could be different for her, hoping the next thing worked...

 

Sigh, she is okay now. I don't know if I could have done it for more than six months.

 

So, I'm all for appropriate in-patient, long term, Mental health facilities.

 

Faith

[LibraryLover]

I was listening to a talk show today and the host talked about a recent study about the mentally ill, homicide rates and the level of care in given states that was available. There was a direct correlation with not having proper facilities for the mentally ill and having mass murders occurring. That is because, unlike regular murders, mass murders are normally done by the mentally ill, particularly either bipolar or even more commonly paranoid schizophrenics. So according to this professor, the answer is having appropriate mental health facilities and the laws to enforce placement in them. I think there could very easily be safeguards in place not to let the bad practices of old occur. I don't think most people with MI relatives are looking to clog up facilities with promiscous teens or whoever used to be wrongly placed in these facilities. But when you have a fully grown adult hell bent on either committing suicide or hurting others, you need to have safe place for them which isn't jail. Oh and it isn't just a problem with young adults. The mental health units in Florida are full of elderly patients kicked out of nursing homes for being violent. The units can't find anyone to accept them and so they stay in a mental health facility which is not set up to deal with Alzheimer people at all. I mean every one else there is a major depressive, bi-polar or schizophrenic and they are Alzheimer patients who have turned violent. It really isn't the same and they become both victims and victimizers of others because it is hard when the old man is over six feet tall, big and violent.

 

Was CT on that list? I always thought of CT as having a good/decent level of care. :( <sigh>

 

If you have I link, I would really like to read it.

 

It's all so sad. So sad.