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How do you get them to STOP TALKING???!!???


Dmmetler
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I'm seriously wondering if I need to send my DD8 to PS to discover that she can think other than out loud! The kid talks...constantly. Not necessarily to anyone-just a continual stream of consciousness, like reading a James Joyce novel. I know she CAN be quiet-she can get through a church service without trouble, and I haven't heard complaints from her ballet teacher, but at home, it's continual and constant. It doesn't help any that I'm highly auditory and tend to focus in on sounds, so it's hard for me to tune out her chatter. I really wonder if she's even aware she's talking out loud?

 

We've run into trouble lately because she'll literally lie in a dark room and talk to herself for hours on end-which then leaves her sleep deprived the next day, and me sleep deprived because I have trouble sleeping with the talking. If I tell her to be quiet, she will be for a short time, and then it's like she stops concentrating because it starts again.

 

I've tried encouraging writing, and she did a 7500 word story for NaNoWriMo, talking the entire time!

 

Any ideas?

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no ideas, but my ds talks nonstop at home and it drives me batty. Dh complained about it too until he spent time with the scouts one weekend and decided our son may talk nonstop but at least he isn't as loud as other boys ;-) He talks in the bathroom, when doing school, when playing alone, when people are in the room talking....he just talks and talks. I feel badly b/c honestly, I don't listen all the time!

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Ds used to be that way. He had to think out loud, tell me everything that popped into his head, and would talk to himself while playing in his room (or playing anywhere really). He clammed up starting at around 14. Now I have to pull words out of his mouth, and often I only get one or two words.

 

I don't know if that's just a teen boy thing, but if girls are like that too, you might someday long for the days when she talked constantly.

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My DS talks all day too. He talks in his sleep at night. He expects to be listened to as well which is tiring. I have no advice. I've told him to please be quiet. When he was younger, we'd have "talking time outs" which were just times for me to have quiet. I like quiet. He wasn't in trouble during these, it was just time to practice keeping our mouths shut. Now that he's older, I've tried to train him that he doesn't need to share every idea in his head but I'm a little worried that he may go too far in the other direction as he gets closer to being a teen.

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We had to give Hobbes ways of interpreting others. His rule was: if someone says 'Uh-huh' or similar three times in a row, it's time to be quiet and let that person initiate conversation. It sounds a bit mechanical, but it helped him to start noticing other people's needs. He does much better these days.

 

Laura

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We had to give Hobbes ways of interpreting others. His rule was: if someone says 'Uh-huh' or similar three times in a row, it's time to be quiet and let that person initiate conversation. It sounds a bit mechanical, but it helped him to start noticing other people's needs. He does much better these days.

 

Laura

 

I never thought of that! I'm going to try it with my son.

 

OP, I have a constant talking 8 year old too. I'll be watching advice you get!

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Op, your James Joyce comment cracks me up!

 

Some people just talk. The fact that she can be quiet is a good sign.

 

Apparently home is where she can get relief from being quiet.

 

Would it help to specifically establish that certain times and places at home are quiet times just like church or ballet class?

 

Btw, I have a couple 'talkers'...I feel your pain!

 

eta: I love this line from the Anne of Green Gables movie:

I know I chatter on far too much... but if you only knew how many things I want to say and don't. Give me some credit.

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I'm seriously wondering if I need to send my DD8 to PS to discover that she can think other than out loud! The kid talks...constantly. Not necessarily to anyone-just a continual stream of consciousness, like reading a James Joyce novel. I know she CAN be quiet-she can get through a church service without trouble, and I haven't heard complaints from her ballet teacher, but at home, it's continual and constant. It doesn't help any that I'm highly auditory and tend to focus in on sounds, so it's hard for me to tune out her chatter. I really wonder if she's even aware she's talking out loud?

 

We've run into trouble lately because she'll literally lie in a dark room and talk to herself for hours on end-which then leaves her sleep deprived the next day, and me sleep deprived because I have trouble sleeping with the talking. If I tell her to be quiet, she will be for a short time, and then it's like she stops concentrating because it starts again.

 

I've tried encouraging writing, and she did a 7500 word story for NaNoWriMo, talking the entire time!

 

Any ideas?

 

 

My son did this, constantly. He outgrew it. I thought he was never going to stop talking. Before the talking phase, he hummed constantly.

 

Now he's a typical, teen male whom you have to prod to talk.

 

Anyway, I just reminded him thousands of times that he was working now, so he needed to be quiet, and not be in the habit of talking through his assignment out loud because it would disturb others.

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No clue. ds9 is like this. I know it is partly due to his adhd. He is not only talking nonstop but he is LOUD, he has no lower volume and I have auditory sensory issues. I am very close to sending him to ps just to make it stop in the house. I have a headache everyday because he is non freaking stop, yelling, and talking and singing and everything on high volume coming out of his mouth. His brother smacks him everynight because they share a room and ds9 talks to himself loudly and obnoxiously for hours each night and brother is trying to sleep. He has been kicked out of things because it is non stop and loud and often inappropriate for the setting. My only hope is the meds we are trying for the adhd finally kick in and he learns to shut the heck up because I am turning into a real witch of a mom because it never stops. There is literally not a minute silence from the time he gets up until 1-2am. My ears need a break from him.

 

So no major ideas to help. just a lot of sympathy and commiseration.

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I remember the days when I used to worry because my younger DD didn't start talking as early as my older one did. Let's just say that she has more than made up for her slow start since then.

 

 

Haha same ds I mentioned was nonverbal at 3, he has been in speech therapy since 3 years old as a result. He has more than made up for it.

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LOL... my son does this too! He cracks me up because when he's coming specifically to tell me something or to ask me something, I know a full minute ahead of time because I hear him talking to himself, rehearsing what he's going to say on his way to see me. I admit, I do tease him a bit about it. I sometimes call him AT&T. "A" Talks & Talks. hehehe...

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Joy and Simon are my talkers. They both have desks in the bedrooms where they do their work, talking all the way through it with the doors shut. The rest of us work in the family room and chuckle at the ongoing monologues in stereo.

 

I give myself timeouts when I need a break. I am a quiet person and relish those silent moments.

 

Joy is starting to get a bit better with age.

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some kids need something extraneous stimulating so they can concentrate. when 1dd was a teen, she really did need music while she did her math. (she was partial to the pirates of penzance - very specific as to which version.) I know I functioned better with music in the background.

 

the other option is to get yourself earplugs. . . . . (i've a relative who talks incessantly. earplugs are wonderful.)

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No helpful hints to give you but wanted to say I completely understand. My dd10 talks or sings non-stop. She talks her way through math even. She sings or talks to herself constantly. I often feel like I live in a musical with everything turned into a song even the most mundane things. I generally don't mind too much because I kinda like that about her but sometimes it can get on my nerves because I am generally quiet.

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We had to give Hobbes ways of interpreting others. His rule was: if someone says 'Uh-huh' or similar three times in a row, it's time to be quiet and let that person initiate conversation. It sounds a bit mechanical, but it helped him to start noticing other people's needs. He does much better these days.

 

Laura

 

 

This is genius. I've been trying to make this same point to my children, but didn't really have the right words. Thank you!

 

OP, PS won't slow that down much. My 3 were PS'd until last year and they have ALL been "talk your ears off" talkers at home. In fact, it was even WORSE, because they talked all over each other in their rush to get the pent up words out at 3. I'm like you and I don't like chatter. I don't know where these kids GET this (I do, it's DH LOL)

 

As a PP said, they will clam up around the teen years. Or my oldest did. I'm sort of hoping for it with DD and YDS. ODS isn't so clammed up that I'm regretting him being more quiet ;)

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I'm seriously wondering if I need to send my DD8 to PS to discover that she can think other than out loud! The kid talks...constantly. Not necessarily to anyone-just a continual stream of consciousness, like reading a James Joyce novel. I know she CAN be quiet-she can get through a church service without trouble, and I haven't heard complaints from her ballet teacher, but at home, it's continual and constant. It doesn't help any that I'm highly auditory and tend to focus in on sounds, so it's hard for me to tune out her chatter. I really wonder if she's even aware she's talking out loud?

 

We've run into trouble lately because she'll literally lie in a dark room and talk to herself for hours on end-which then leaves her sleep deprived the next day, and me sleep deprived because I have trouble sleeping with the talking. If I tell her to be quiet, she will be for a short time, and then it's like she stops concentrating because it starts again.

 

I've tried encouraging writing, and she did a 7500 word story for NaNoWriMo, talking the entire time!

 

Any ideas?

 

Oh my gosh! The bolded made me laugh!!

 

My girls want to chatter all day too. Because my girls have Tourettes I have to balance the realities of vocal tics and standing by my rules as teacher mom. I rarely ask them to be quiet out of class, like your daughter they have pretty good manners in social settings. I never ever ask them to stop tic-ing.

 

In September (first month of school) I posted classroom rules on our main bulletin board. The rules are all based on creating a peaceful, respectful, studious environment. I spent that first month constantly reminding them to correct themselves and why. They always need time at the beginning of the school year to remember what's so awesome about a quiet productive classroom. Now I've backed off and quietly point to the rule (in our classroom closet now :D ) or give them the look and remind them with minimal words.

 

I'm a Montessori teacher and the girls both went to a Montessori school, so peace (internal and external) are a big part of our foundation. I think many people have to be taught how to find it, how return to it, how to want it, etc.

 

It works for us. It doesn't solve the problem, but it's helped. Like KrissiK said, sometimes I'm a little harsh and say "I can't talk about that right now" or "You need to stop talking"

 

Plus... I don't know... they're kids! They're funny like that sometimes. I know it's... ugh... fill in the blank... exhausting?! irritating?! :willy_nilly: But it's part of the job I guess. Sometimes you've got to give them a big kiss, hand them their work and go hide in the shower. (I lock the door)

Stay strong mom!

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