When/How do you start making schoolwork mandatory?

[wendyroo]

My son is 3 and a half, and most days we do about 30 minutes of sit at the table learning time (FIAR, crafts, light reading instruction, etc). For now, this is completely optional for him. He normally loves it, but I don't try to force it is he decides he doesn't want to do any activities on a given day (very rare) or if he wants to skip a particular activity (occasional).

 

The other day my mom asked when the lessons would start to be mandatory and how I would make that transition. DS is my oldest, so I don't really have any experience.

 

When did you start requiring certain work from your kids? How did you explain to your kids why they had to do it? Did you go the route of school is their job? Did you talk about what would be required of them if they were in public school?

 

I'm starting to think about this now, not because I think it is time to start forcing more learning on DS - I figure that is, at least, a year away - but rather because I am noticing that DS is not a kid that is motivated by challenges or a drive for independence. He is very easily frustrated and overwhelmed and more than happy to just let me do things for him. I anticipate that this will prove challenging when it comes time for more formal schooling. Even now, he is unwilling to even try riding a trike or putting on his own coat or using the remote to turn on the TV because he says they are too hard. He is more than capable of those tasks and has watched his peers doing those things, but he has no interested in mastering the skills himself.

 

Thoughts? Ideas? Am I a first time mom over thinking things?

 

Thanks,

Wendy

[KAR120C]

The other day my mom asked when the lessons would start to be mandatory and how I would make that transition. DS is my oldest, so I don't really have any experience.

At three it was his choice whether to start something at all, but once he started he needed to quit politely (not wander off, not speak rudely, etc.) At four, I started asking that he finish some portion of what we started... like finish the problem he's on. By five I was doing more starting myself (rather than waiting for him to request something), and he needed to finish more - a whole section, or a page - before he could be done. The things I asked him to do were mainly things I thought he'd enjoy, and our time commitment for sitdown work was still small, but that was when I think I'd have called it "required".

[....]

I know this is probably an unpopular answer... but around 7. If they want to do something with me, then we do it. If they're tired or need to play, I'm OK with that, too. FWIW, I was really strict with my son (who's now in 4th grade) and it didn't make a difference - he was a very late reader, behind in math, he cried when it was time for schoolwork, etc. If I had to do over again, I would've waited until he was a little older for formal schoolwork. I've been pretty laid back with my youngest two daughters and the little one was reading at 4 (and she loves reading).

 

I think it depends on the kid.

[spaceman]

I'd say not before 5. I usually just remind my child that working through a book is in line with his goals for himself (my son wants to be a scientist). I really have lucked out and haven't had to say anything else. My son has friends in b & m schools and currently is just happy he gets to "be in mommy's class". I may have just lucked out so far though...

 

However, I would recommend laying some motivational framework. Talk about mistakes being an important part of the learning process. Talk yourself through your own mistakes out loud. Be interested in learning things yourself and bring your son in to the wonder as appropriate (e.g. If you are teaching letters, notice all the different fonts of A's when you are out, or have questions about nature where you both want to go peek). Praise your son for behaviors that help him learn more instead of only when he accomplishes something.

[HootyTooty]

When my kids would have been in grade 1 is when school became an everyday occurrence. Our days were still short but we stopped skipping days.

[Holly]

We do a transition year at 5. I encourage them to do some of our family studies, but let them play quietly through some of it. I do require a few minutes a day with phonics and 3 weekly math lessons. It takes no more than 10-20 minutes to get through phonics and math.

 

For 1st, I expect them to join in with our family lessons, but less is expected of them as far as writing and narration. They continue with phonics and math and add a bit of copywork.

 

This is easier now that I have some older DC. When I just had one school aged child, we did basic 3Rs and FIAR at that age. It worked very well!

[Farrar]

Six here. At five we had a set school time, but it was very short, I'd drop if they were playing and not ready for it, and I'd let them not do things they weren't into a lot of the time. It was a gradual transition.

 

I don't think there's any one right answer to this.

[MeaganS]

For us it will be when she would have been in school if we weren't homeschooling her. Unfortunately, I'm still trying to decide when that would be. Her birthday misses our state's rather early cutoff by less than a week, so technically she wouldn't start Kindergarten until she's 6 (2 years from now). I may treat next year (when she turns 5) as her Kindergarten year, though, as she'll probably be starting 1st grade math then and reading fairly well. Currently we do 3-5 days per week for about an hour and she really enjoys it, but if she's just really off that day, I don't bother. This will probably be our habit for a while as we plan on homeschooling year round, because she'll get enough days in even if it is optional.

[Soror]

It was gradual here as well. At 5 we started very low key, we did lots of read-alouds, played games for Math and did writing w/ chalk and such. I tried doing some alphabet work as well but that didn't work. At. 5.5 he started HWoT and he loved that. At 6 is when we started RSB and I See Sam, we got more formal as we went through the year. Dd I just started requiring sit down work for phonics and writing at 5.5, it doesn't take long though(45 ish min) and she loves it. We've started some RSA but I don't require that yet, so we do it as we want.

[StartingOver]

At 5 school is mandatory in my house, and they are told to look forward to this starting at about 4. LOL Now mandatory to me means the sit down work, language arts, handwriting, writing and math. The reading by them, reading aloud by me for history, science, and literature are things they love and I would never call them mandatory, but they are done every day even now. I include reading done by the children, because they requested to read. Phonics lessons before age 5 are kept to about 5 minutes max, and reading aloud to me is kept very short too. Crafts are always done whenever they ask for them.

 

I try to keep sit down work to 30 minutes per year, with breaks if needed. So K would be about 30 minutes.

[...................]

Around 5.5

[mommymilkies]

I know this is probably an unpopular answer... but around 7. If they want to do something with me, then we do it. If they're tired or need to play, I'm OK with that, too. FWIW, I was really strict with my son (who's now in 4th grade) and it didn't make a difference - he was a very late reader, behind in math, he cried when it was time for schoolwork, etc. If I had to do over again, I would've waited until he was a little older for formal schoolwork. I've been pretty laid back with my youngest two daughters and the little one was reading at 4 (and she loves reading).

 

I think it depends on the kid.

 

:iagree:

[Embassy]

Age 5

 

I tend to start with long days with a few undesirable tasks mixed in a day filled with lots of desirable activities.

[RootAnn]

When my kids would have been in grade 1 is when school became an everyday occurrence. Our days were still short but we stopped skipping days.

 

:iagree: It depends on the kid, of course, but around 1st grade (6ish). Definitely keep lessons short, but one must spend X amount of time (or until one finishes the assigned work - whichever is SHORTER) for Language Arts & Math.

 

Kindergarten in my house is really laid back & I try to make it fun.

[Just Jane]

I know this is probably an unpopular answer... but around 7. If they want to do something with me, then we do it. If they're tired or need to play, I'm OK with that, too. FWIW, I was really strict with my son (who's now in 4th grade) and it didn't make a difference - he was a very late reader, behind in math, he cried when it was time for schoolwork, etc. If I had to do over again, I would've waited until he was a little older for formal schoolwork. I've been pretty laid back with my youngest two daughters and the little one was reading at 4 (and she loves reading).

 

I think it depends on the kid.

:iagree:

[SilverMoon]

For most of my kids I expected about twenty minutes spent learning to read and getting familiar with numbers during their kindergarten year, and in first grade they had WTM-style core subjects. That said, I never had to enforce it. Not once. My kids have been so excited to dig into learning that it was more like me trying to keep up with them. :001_smile:

 

I changed those expectations for my late bloomer. She didn't read or add/subtract at all until second grade; forget covering nouns and verbs. We kept a steady, subtle pressure there, and she let us know when she was ready for more. (She's a seventh grader now, and you'd never guess she started a couple/few years behind her siblings.)

 

My current 4yo does phonics and math daily, but I don't require it of her. When her siblings are preparing their books and supplies she gets her own books and pencil off the shelf and climbs up beside me. Every day. She can put it all away whenever she wants, no matter where she is in a lesson, but she is far more likely to tell me she needs more school.

[LittleIzumi]

1st grade. Well, I have a little required for K but it's flexible.

[justLisa]

I know this is probably an unpopular answer... but around 7. If they want to do something with me, then we do it. If they're tired or need to play, I'm OK with that, too. FWIW, I was really strict with my son (who's now in 4th grade) and it didn't make a difference - he was a very late reader, behind in math, he cried when it was time for schoolwork, etc. If I had to do over again, I would've waited until he was a little older for formal schoolwork. I've been pretty laid back with my youngest two daughters and the little one was reading at 4 (and she loves reading).

 

I think it depends on the kid.

 

I was going to say something very similar. My youngest is 7. Only recently have I told him school isn't optional. But I still try to be flexible with him. I also try to be quick because he does not like school.

 

That is about how it is here. At 6/7 we did math and read a lot every day. The other things rotated so we really did not spend a ton of time on each thing.

[acablue]

The year they're supposed to start kindergarten, math, reading and handwriting are mandatory. That's probably 40 minutes per day. My oldest is in 2nd, and those are still the only things that are really "mandatory", along with a little writing.

[Ellie]

Probably not until the dc were, oh, 9ish. Before then, Official School Stuff was just something we did together, and I didn't have to make it mandatory.

 

Of course, the year dds were 9 and 12, I had Official School Stuff every.single.day, beginning in September. By Thanksgiving we were all burned out, and when I put away the Official School Stuff, which I always did at Thanksgiving anyway, I left it away. Some time around February, dds began looking at me out the corners of their eyes, and finally, one of them asked if we were going to Do School. I said no. Younger dd, who hadn't yet shown me that she was reading at her age level, began taking books out of the library basket (we went weekly), and finally one day, she came out and said, "There's nothing to read! It's making me crazy!" :D

 

Some time around then, Mary Harrington started teaching Latin, using her own lesson plans and assorted resources; my older dd was part of that group. In the fall (1988) one of Mary's dds began taking classes at the community college; in January of 1989, my older dd took an art class at the same c.c. (I went with her; both of us earned A's, BTW), and celebrated her 14th bday in class. In the fall semester of 1989, dd took a Latin class, and something else...I forget what (that was a LONG time ago!). Her college-instead-of-high-school career was off to a great start. :D

 

And I have a similar story with younger dd, but it's longer, lol. Suffice to say that for us, not requiring Official School Stuff until dc were older worked out just fine, and I don't regret it one bit.

[MissKNG]

Age 5, which is K age in my state.

[Dinsfamily]

For us it is 5-5.5yo depending on the child. School was VERY short at that age and it seems to build each year. My only mandatory subjects at 5 were spelling (that's how we learn how to read), reading (to me), reading aloud (me to them), and math. Except for me reading aloud, it took about 30-45 minutes, 4 days per week. We could read for hours on any given day and they are always begging for more so it is hard to quantify that time as mandatory.

[SkateLeft]

Learning is a lifestyle for us, so I've NEVER approached our homeschooling with an "education is your job" mentality.

 

I start doing daily phonics and math in kindergarten, but keep it short and the lessons are fun with lots of cuddling on the couch or rolling around on the floor.

 

It's really been a natural progression for us over the years. Each year, they're ready for more, so that's what we do!

[Clear Creek]

The first day of first grade is a big deal...we do pictures, eat a yummy breakfast, and the child gets a stack of new schoolbooks (and new pencils, crayons, paints, etc.). That day marks the first day that school is not optional. Before that I try to do a reading lesson most days for Kindergarten, but that depends on the child's mood...and never lasts more than 20 minutes. So I guess that my answer is six years old; and letting a three or four year old play freely and not forcing work does not seem to have an effect on their ability to sit and work for an hour when they are six years old. In my house it does not appear to be a learned ability, it appears to be a result of maturity.

[ByGrace3]

My older 2 went to pre-K 4 so we started officially homeschooling in kindergarten. (Age 5). School for kindergarten is not optional here. Some kind of reading instruction, math, and handwriting is mandatory, anything else is extra. I do adjust how much and what to their needs. Ds's K year looks nothing like dd's, but he still does "school." I kind of feel that at the age school is mandatory for your state, school should be mandatory at home. (I know many would disagrre with this and that os fine). :001_smile: What that looks like can be very different for every home however. We are very play based in the beginning. I try to have realistic expectations and developmentally appropriate expectations, and keep it fun and engaging. I want them to enjoy learning and I would adjust plans to this end.

[Ellie]

Learning is a lifestyle for us, so I've NEVER approached our homeschooling with an "education is your job" mentality.

 

I start doing daily phonics and math in kindergarten, but keep it short and the lessons are fun with lots of cuddling on the couch or rolling around on the floor.

 

It's really been a natural progression for us over the years. Each year, they're ready for more, so that's what we do!

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[NASDAQ]

Nothing I give my children to do is optional, ever. I started giving my daughter schoolwork that she had to do at five. My son was more mature so he started at four.

[Maela]

I am still new at this.

 

My daughter kind of led me. I was wanting to wait until she was older (at least five) to work on reading and other academics, but she was asking lots of questions at two and reading by four. Because she's so advanced we're doing a somewhat advanced kindergarten this year, which means more sitting than I would have thought. Two to three hours broken up by lots of play/outings. But the only things I really plan on requiring are Singapore, FLL, and WWE. So far there hasn't been a need for "requiring." When the time comes though, it will be a this is your part of the agreement in order for us to homeschool type mini "lecture." She and I had to sign an 'official agreement' for our homeschool charter school, so it's already been explained to her what she agrees to do to be a part of this school.

 

My son is three and much less interested in academic subjects than DD was at this age. Although he has recently become interested in the letters and their sounds. So my goal is to have him know his letters - lowercase and uppercase - by four years old. Then at four requiring just a few minutes per day to work on OPGTR. Then at five, I'll reassess. His birthday is just a month after the cutoff for kindergarten in our state, so I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that.

[coffeegal]

We start formal schooling at 4, between 5-15 minutes a day. The goal is to build the habit of doing school daily, not to learn a ton of material. I guess that's when school becomes manditory in my house. :001_huh: However I do everything I can to keep it pleasant and fun, including giving snacks afterwards.

 

When 9yo ds was 4, he started bringing me his Phonics Pathways book whenever he got snackish! :lol:

[Amy Jo]

Six for me. (The age where a child must attend school here is 7, so I guess that would be my legal answer.)

[MrsMe]

I know this is probably an unpopular answer... but around 7. If they want to do something with me, then we do it. If they're tired or need to play, I'm OK with that, too. FWIW, I was really strict with my son (who's now in 4th grade) and it didn't make a difference - he was a very late reader, behind in math, he cried when it was time for schoolwork, etc. If I had to do over again, I would've waited until he was a little older for formal schoolwork. I've been pretty laid back with my youngest two daughters and the little one was reading at 4 (and she loves reading).

 

I think it depends on the kid.

 

Us as well. 2nd grade is when we made sure we did our work. Up until then, hit or miss.

[sewingmama]

When they start K -which is about 5.5. I'm still pretty flexible and we have many days off if it isn't going well. It usually takes the whole year to transition them in.

 

First grade I make it more madatory. I don't usually have to explain it because they are used to it by then.

 

My little guy is 3.5. We only do "school" when he requests it which is most days but only because he is the youngest and sees the olders doing it and he wants to join in.

 

When my oldest DD was 3.5 she nevr requested "school" because there was no one to copy -we just did a lot of art activities and reading because that's all she wanted to do.

[SnMomof7]

6 - and not EVERY day like it is for her older sister (9). We do some at 5 that is interest led. My 4-yo is asking for 'school' - sigh. She gets printables :).

[briansmama]

I know this is probably an unpopular answer... but around 7. If they want to do something with me, then we do it. If they're tired or need to play, I'm OK with that, too. FWIW, I was really strict with my son (who's now in 4th grade) and it didn't make a difference - he was a very late reader, behind in math, he cried when it was time for schoolwork, etc. If I had to do over again, I would've waited until he was a little older for formal schoolwork. I've been pretty laid back with my youngest two daughters and the little one was reading at 4 (and she loves reading).

 

I think it depends on the kid.

 

This is us- we don't start formal academics with our children until age 7. Now my youngest, age 5 1/2, is asking a lot about letters, words, how to spell certain words...I'll answer him and support him but the only "lessons" I require from him are our morning nature songs and fairy tale/folk tale or nature story I tell him. He works all day long creating, building, painting, even writing...it's just on his own terms :)

[Tracy]

My 4yo has certain things that he has to do if he wants screen time. He has to practice his writing. He has to clean his room. Ultimately, it is not mandatory, because I don't care if he doesn't do it. But he doesn't get his screen time if he doesn't, and he definitely wants it. And since what I ask is only about 15 total minutes of his time per day, it is completely age-appropriate, and he has no problem. We started doing this at the beginning of the year, because he was trying to learn to read and write on his own, and he was developing bad habits. I just told him we were going to start doing it, and I put everything on his schedule for him. I was relatively simple. Each school year, I will increase the responsibilities a bit.

[Just Jane]

Learning is a lifestyle for us, so I've NEVER approached our homeschooling with an "education is your job" mentality.

 

I start doing daily phonics and math in kindergarten, but keep it short and the lessons are fun with lots of cuddling on the couch or rolling around on the floor.

 

It's really been a natural progression for us over the years. Each year, they're ready for more, so that's what we do!

:iagree::iagree: I think this describes us even better. :)

[MerryAtHope]

It really wasn't as tough of a transition as I imagined, or as you might imagine. My kids did optional work in preschool, in K some work was mandatory but some I dropped or adjusted if I could see it wasn't going well that day, and in 1st it was mandatory. They just gradually got used to doing more, and school time naturally expanded from reading together, reading and craft/activity, reading, activity, workbook with manipulatives, etc...