Pamela H in Texas Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Okay, I'm seriously going to lose my mind. I need to change my signature. I picked Little Bit as her nickname cuz she's cute and tiny. But we call her Monkey Monster because she clings like a baby monkey and makes these adorable baby monster sounds. Anyway, regardless... MM has been with us for a week and a half. We all adore her. She is the cutest little baby ever. She's developmentally delayed (gets on knees only if head is on ground, can't crawl, gets up to sit incorrectly, etc). She screams....a lot...like more than a lot really. She is in her swing right now (something we pulled out of storage yesterday hoping it might help...it did and now it doesn't). She is screaming. No tears. No pain. Not hungry or dirty. Not hot. Just screaming. She does this ALL day. It has gotten A LOT better, but it is *still* all day. We may get a couple 20 minute segments without it. We can distract her sometimes and have gotten some beautiful pictures. But mostly, she screams. SHe isn't happy on the floor, in our arms, and now not in the swing. She wakes several times per night hollering out. Many times, she'll go right back to sleep. But otherwise she carries on something awful even though we give her formula. She is on soy sensitive formula. She eats finger foods and baby foods. The doctor acted like we were first time parents about this (which royally made me mad). Her ears were clear though. And there really doesn't seem to be anything wrong OTHER than the screaming. I just hate that she is so miserable all the time. Anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Ah, Pamela I'm so sorry you and the baby are going through this. My first thoughts- why is she on a soy formula? Because she's sensitive to dairy? Soy is a big allergen. Food allergies can present themselves in the form of non-pain screaming. This is often the case with dairy, soy, gluten, and food dyes/preservatives. Is that a possibility? Have you tried her in a carrier, maybe on your back? I wonder if she would also respond well to a tight carrier in front like a Moby Wrap. We use it a lot of babies with sensory issues. I hope you find an answer!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Too loud? Too quiet? Too many clothes? Not enough clothes? Over stimulated? Under stimulated? Too much light? Not enough light? Does she want a bath? Can you tell of her history? Why is she in foster care? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 My first thoughts are allergy to the soy, sensory issues or reflux causing pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 :grouphug: My heart breaks for this poor baby. I must've missed it, but how old is she? Does her crying sound like she's in pain? I just can't let go of the thought that something must be medically wrong, whether it's her digestive system or her head (headache or migraine) or she's coming down with some illness. I'm sorry I'm not much help. I think you are amazing brim there for this little baby. I'll think about it and let you know. Oh-I remember that my little crier (DD13) used to be soothed by the running water of the bathtub. It must've been the white noise. I recorded the sound on a tape recorder (I hadn't heard of white noise cd's then) and played it back for her. It worked most more often than not to calm her down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I second the carrier idea and allergies sound like they are playing a role. For you earplugs. Does a bath soothe her? Gripe water or teething tablets might help. Is she teething? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I am so sorry...that must be so difficult! I wonder what her background is. How is she when you hold her? I had a couple screamers that for some reason were only content when I held them. I had a carrier that I carried them in the majority of their waking hours. (I got very strong!) Eventually I had to put them on my back. They were so, so peaceful when I carried them. Now as older teens and young adults, they are alike in so many ways. They are both extremely creative, and you always know what they are feeling! They are also the ones who have the most sensitive stomachs. Their stomachs get unsettled so easily. Sometimes I wonder if that was part of their problem as babes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Some babies do just want to be held a lot, but you said that she cries even then. Is it possible that she is tentative/upset because you are unfamiliar to her? What is her background? I would continue holding her a lot unless she is clearly struggling to get away. Perhaps she would enjoy a baby carrier. Why is she on soy formula? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I am guessing you have tried the colic hold. http://www.thefussybabysite.com/coping/colic-relief/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunD Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Teething? Over- or under-stimulation? Allergies (PP is right, soy is a big one)? Reflux? I have heard of babies having mild reflux without seeming to be in pain, just uncomfortable or unhappy. So, I would try teething tablets, cold teethers, frozen damp washcloths (my second DD preferred towels over teethers), and maybe Baby Orajel. Over-stimulation might be cured by facing you in a carrier, swaddling, dark, or soothing white noise to block out household sounds. I might suspect that she's been deprived of normal visual/verbal/other interactions and experiences. She might be used to a lot more quiet and darkness. If those make her more upset, she might be under-stimulated, and need lots of toy options, noisemakers, fast movement, tickling games, singing, etc. If none of those work, talk to the dr (maybe find a different one, if you can) specifically about reflux and allergies. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thanks y'all. When I talked to my agency director, she suggested it was due to drug exposure (something we aren't positive about but is definitely positive). Someone else suggested our home may just be too quiet if she is used to a bit of chaos. She came from Grandma's and caseworker said she was a bit spoiled, but this just doesn't seem like spoiled to me (if I even believed in such a thing). I have no clue about the formula. She came with that. I thought about trying another one. ECI doesn't come out til April 11th. But I was hoping maybe WIC could see why she changed and what she's tried in the past. They aren't open today though (and I just didn't have an opportunity to call before today). We do use white noise for sleep (fan). ANd I put the white noise on the swing (it has that setting). She hates baths or having her upper body touched when she's like this. My mom (an OT) suggested a few exercises. SHe said that they may help her regulate more in time. IT was just general stuff rather than real therapy or whatever since she hasn't even seen MM yet and wouldn't be her therapist anyway. I just keep trying to change things up. She just doesn't seem to respond for the most part. I'll keep trying though. She really is the sweetest little thing. I know she isn't trying to drive me up a wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 If you suspect tummy issues/reflux, try Alimentum or Nutramigen. We used Alimentum with all of ours due to allergies/sensitivities. There is a step beyond that for really bad allergies but it is $$. So see if the Alimentum helps first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I am so sorry. I would 5th (or whatever #) that you look into a baby carrier. One which keeps her close to whoever is wearing her and keeps her tight. Perhaps a wrap or Mei Tie. I think the combined closeness to somebody and the snuggling effect might relieve her. I would also think about taking her back to the doctor. My DD had a horrible cough once, that of course disappeared the minute we walked into the Dr office. They told me to bring a video in the next time she was coughing at home. So, video tape your Foster Daughter and bring that in, along with a list of the times and lengths of her cries. Maybe, that would give the Dr something more concrete to look into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 What is the reason for the developmental delays? I also wondered about drug exposure. It doesn't sound normal for a nine month old to be crying that much from typical baby discomforts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I think drug exposure is my #1 thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) Just to make sure I have this right- 9 months old, you've had her from grandma for about 10 days-ish. No real records yet. Possible drug issues. It is possible that she was born addicted and has never received the detox care she needed. I'm not sure how this would be handled without concrete knowledge of drugs, but maybe there is a standard protocol to follow? She sounds as if she is a "sensory" baby. For most, very little light if any, no noise (not even white noise), swaddled VERY tightly (even at 9 months), and rocked and patted on the back almost so vigorously it looks dangerous (but isn't). My son was a premie, and the only way to sooth him was to be in a dark room, with no noise, swaddled/wrapped, rocking him in a rocking chair, and thumping him on the back much harder than I had ever thought was ok. :grouphug: I would also try something other than soy, and have her evaluated for allergies. Here are some of the triggers my son had that you may not have thought of: wind or a breeze, flickering lights (florescent bulbs are bad), lights from a tv or computer screen, and anything that omits high frequency sound (ever heard the computer kinda, well, whine in the background, or the hum from a tv?). Edited March 23, 2012 by SailorMom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 My little guy is a few weeks younger than she is, and he's going through major separation anxiety right now. He pretty much wants me to hold him all the time, and if I walk out of the room, even if he's with his older siblings (whom he adores), he cries until I come back. So I expect that there is a bit of that going on with your little sweetheart, in addition to whatever else re: drugs, etc. I would suggest a carrier if possible; I like a wrap for front carries (baby is snuggling in his wrap on my chest right now, next to me, but happily looking around and watching everything else), but if you think you'd prefer her on your back (I'm short, and my babies are pretty big, so I can't do a lot with an older baby on my front and use a lot of back carries), I'd recommend an Ergo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Reflux. Drug withdrawal (very likely, from the description) Sensory problems--she may need very soft cotton knit clothing, all over, with no labels anywhere Internal injury affecting her digestive system and causing chronic pain Fear, intense separation issues or prior trauma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Rose Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 My thoughts are reflux and high sensitivity and high stress. She has no control over what has happened to her the last 9 months. I agree with this. "She sounds as if she is a "sensory" baby. For most, very little light if any, no noise (not even white noise), swaddled VERY tightly (even at 9 months), and rocked and patted on the back almost so vigorously it looks dangerous (but isn't). My son was a premie, and the only way to sooth him was to be in a dark room, with no noise, swaddled/wrapped, rocking him in a rocking chair, and thumping him on the back much harder than I had ever thought was ok." I recommend a rhythmic pat on the butt. She may resist at first but give it time. You may want to check out some techniques from Happiest Baby on the Block. Also, if you don't get answers from one doctor, see another one. Especially one with experience with drug babies and a gastroenterologist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I'd switch peds ASAP if they thought this was you being inexperienced. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Did she scream at Grandma's house? If not, I would think she was just upset at being with strangers. Nine months is definitely old enough to notice the change. If she has always been a screamer, I would think drug exposure or food intolerances. Poor baby. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 No advice that hasn't already been offered but :grouphug: and I hope this is sorted out soon and you gus can enjoy your little baby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 She may be grieving. Do you have resources to help the baby through grieving? My dd screamed a lot when she came home as well. I did not understand her cues and that did not help matters. This is a very hard time and I'm sending you good thoughts.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Is the baby old enough for a backpack. Backpacks seem to be out of fashion these days, but I recommend them for babies who want to be carried and see the world, but are not taking to the snuggling of a sling etc. Plus, your arms are free. If you get one, try to find one with a hip belt you can pull tight. This will make it more confortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 If you suspect tummy issues/reflux, try Alimentum or Nutramigen. We used Alimentum with all of ours due to allergies/sensitivities. There is a step beyond that for really bad allergies but it is $$. So see if the Alimentum helps first. :iagree: I'd also try a reflux med. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I have no advice that the other ladies hadn't offered, but :grouphug::grouphug: Definitely seek out the advice of another pediatrician or a specialist if you feel that this one isn't helping your foster daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpecialClassical Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 She may be grieving and have sensory issues. It seems that each issue would increase the intensity of the other. I'm an adoptive mom and I think you would do well to consult an attachment therapist. An OT, like your mom, would be awesome as well. Fire the pediatrician and find one that understands kids who have gone through trauma. Just my thoughts, for whatever they are worth. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I see in your signature that she's nine months old. That is prime age for separation anxiety. Being in a new home with new people would seem to only add to that. I would be trying to wear her as much as possible during the day, so she knows that *someone* is always there. My other thought is about the Soy formula. Presumably she had trouble with dairy. But lots of babies with dairy issues also have soy issues, particularly if it is a protein issue. It's called Milk Soy Protein Intolerance and three of my four had it. It causes severe gastrointestinal distress and gas, and with my kids lots of really ugly diaper rashes. Unfortunately, the non-dairy, non-soy formula options are pretty spendy, so I'm not sure how that would work in a foster care situation. Poor baby and poor mama! Thank you for all you do. You are an angel. :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) Unfortunately drug exposure was my first thought too. I think I remember reading about how babies who were exposed to cocaine might be soothed by rocking - but not the usual back and forth, but up and down. You might also try semi swaddling and see if that brings her any comfort - even if you do it just for short times. I think trying a carrier is a good idea too, but I'd put her in front so she's facing you and will have more interaction than if she was on your back. I'm wondering if there's anything homeopathic that could help. Poor baby. I think ear plugs might help you as well as taking breaks with someone else when you can. I highly doubt she was spoiled. She's lucky to have you. :grouphug: Just googled, and this article looks good! http://www.livestrong.com/article/191584-how-to-care-for-drug-exposed-infants/ Edited March 23, 2012 by Teachin'Mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 My niece left the hospital screaming and didn't stop for days. My sister-in-law had made a chiropractor appointment for herself and brought the baby with her because no one could babysit. Dr. had her lay the baby on the table and quickly realized that her arm was out of joint! Apparently, when they were trying to guide her out of the birth canal, they pulled her arm out of socket. One adjustment and baby was calm. Three weeks later, she started to fuss one day and start crying later that night and they took her back, yep her arm was out again. This time they figured the older cousin (age 6) wasn't as careful as they thought when she picked up the baby and lifter her up under her arms. I realize that she is older, but if she suffered any trauma she might need some help. You might consider getting her checked out by a chiropractor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 My niece left the hospital screaming and didn't stop for days. My sister-in-law had made a chiropractor appointment for herself and brought the baby with her because no one could babysit. Dr. had her lay the baby on the table and quickly realized that her arm was out of joint! Apparently, when they were trying to guide her out of the birth canal, they pulled her arm out of socket. One adjustment and baby was calm. Three weeks later, she started to fuss one day and start crying later that night and they took her back, yep her arm was out again. This time they figured the older cousin (age 6) wasn't as careful as they thought when she picked up the baby and lifter her up under her arms. I realize that she is older, but if she suffered any trauma she might need some help. You might consider getting her checked out by a chiropractor. Good idea. My Friends child had colic and it helped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 Thanks y'all :) I'm so on edge from all the screaming today. It seems the more I try, the worse I make it. Then she has times that she makes a total liar out of us. I took her with me when I got my 3yo's glasses and she was an angel. Same with swim lessons. Since my first post, she's cried non-stop otherwise. Her "nap" was an hour in my daughter's arms. ANd hubby has been patting her for over an hour now....she'll start screaming every few minutes. I really think there has to be something like the reflux. Her bottle nipples came cut so maybe grandma was putting cereal in them. Also, she does spit up a bit much (though not nearly as much as my last baby). I have some of the other one's formula and thought about trying it; but if she is allergic, then that may be a bad idea. I have her a doc appointment on Monday (someone different than last time). Hopefully they can help. That colic website suggested several things we either do, have tried, but it also included some things my mom suggested for a more uptight baby. So we'll keep trying. The caseworker said that grandma spoiled MM, mentioning her "temper." I'm just not so sure. It sounds like Gma was dealing with the issues this baby has, likely at least partially due to the mother's choices while pregnant and those first few months (well, and even once gma had her). However, I don't know what all gma was doing, but I do believe her developmental delays are due to her not having enough exploration and practice. Gma supposedly was getting her therapy through our therapy program but they show no record of her. Then supposedly MM quit getting therapy due to some health issues of gma. So...was she getting ANY therapy ever? How long did she? But I could see how a 9month old could be quite frustrated with being so delayed. She falls over from a sit regularly. And she is just now, with us working with her, getting to both knees (not quite evenly without our help yet) and rocking. ECI can't come out til the 11th. I tried to get my mom sooner but she can't come up or have us down there either. Anyway, thanks a lot...I'll read back through your posts and see what I can do... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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