NanceXToo Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I am so sorry. I have a relative that's been struggling with addiction for years. It's sad, scary, so hard on the family, and I can't even imagine how much worse that would be if it's your own child. I would look into a long term in-patient rehab program. I'm not talking 30 days, I'm talking like months. There are ones that go up to 18 months. She needs to be removed from this lifestyle completely while getting professional treatment and counseling to have the best shot at anything. That worked for my relative for over five years. And even then there was a series of relapses and constant struggles. It's crazy. Although I don't know what your daughter is addicted to. I am thinking of you and hoping she gets the help she needs and becomes one of those who can turn her life around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I would go down as tough on her as humanly possible. Send her to a camp for addicts, let the police do their thing. Her surviving five years from now is priority. My best to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Bee, I am praying right now for your daughter. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: I knew a family a few years ago whose dd was in the same situation. They had to pull her from school and send her away to a treatment program. It was 18 months long. It was in another state and I remember they worked with horses; that's all I recall. She said it was hard at first (tough rules, extremely limited visitation) but after awhile her dd realized she needed to be there and knew she wasn't ready to come home. Their story ended well; when the dd came home she refused to go back to the school where all her trouble began. She was ready to start a new life. Perhaps a program like that would help your dd? I'm so sorry your family is going through this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 Thank you very much, everyone. I started looking at residential programs yesterday and will add the two mentioned here to my list... I will see if any of them work with insurance and if our insurance covers any amount... Thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Look into teen challenge as well, not sure if it was mentioned. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I know you've prayed for my son in the past--will be in prayer for your dd. Pls consider the residential programs very, very carefully. I would say don't go to anything run by Keystone. Turnabout Ranch and the New Life ones are pretty good. First, tho, have her go thru your county and get assessed to see if she needs residential. If you can avoid it, then great. If not, remember YOU NEED TO HAVE COUNSELING, TOO. I simply cannot stress that enough. They will not fix her and send her home to you. I know this sounds harsh, but this is a family disease, and there is something you can do to change the patterns of interaction and so on, that occur at home. I am not saying it's your fault, NOT saying that. But you can help increase the odds that treatment of any kind will be helpful if you and your spouse go into treatment, too. Remember that she will be exposed to other kids with addiction issues at residential. She will make contacts. Even at the best place, the absolute top-of-the-line place, it is not possible to supervise the kids 24/7. Kids cheek their meds, they sneak things in, they talk/glorify using experiences, they develop a hidden hierarchy of peers in treatment. Even if the model is to tell on each other, there is enough of a street code in most if not all places that it doesn't work when kids moniter kids. I firmly believe it's also healthier for the place not to be co-ed, but that's debatable. It's all debatable, actually. OTOH, she probably needs time away from her current environment. That's why going to Turnabout may work for her. Find a place that has levels, that is non-punitive, and that has access to educated counselors. If they are going to medicate for concurrent disorders, make sure there's a psychiatrist who is very available. I'm so sorry for your situation. BTdoingT. I will be covering you in prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 I did look into teen challenge, but they do NOT accept girls until they are 18! I was very disappointed in that. She is being assessed locally this week and if she cooperates, will have 3 intake appointments to determine the best course of action... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KS_ Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I don't have time to read all of the responses but has she been evaluated for mental health issues? Often substance abuse can come about due to/or along with a mental health issue--depression, bipolar, anxiety, etc. They self medicate to help their issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I did look into teen challenge, but they do NOT accept girls until they are 18! I was very disappointed in that. She is being assessed locally this week and if she cooperates, will have 3 intake appointments to determine the best course of action... {{{{Many hugs}}}} I agree with the advice in this thread. For YOU, I suggest Al Anon. Do you (or your DH) have family members with substance abuse issues? I am available in PM for additional support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I am so sorry you're going through this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 Thanks, Joanne, Tonight I am going to my first Alanon meeting! I found a forum for addiction recovery (support for the entire spectrum... the addicts, the families, etc.) and they have had a lot of great reading for me to check out... Neither me or my ex have substance or alcohol addictions. She has, however, struggled with depression since the divorce and has other issues going on... but, I tend to not give out too much info publicly. Thanks, everyone, it helps to not feel so alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Praying for you and your daughter, Bee. I'm sorry your family is going through this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Minors can be involuntarily put into a rehab program. Right. And you want to do this before she's close enough to 18 to check herself out without finishing the program. Book recommendation: Beautiful Boy. I learned more than I ever wanted to know about addiction from that book. Painfully sad. But full of ideas. I'm so sorry for your situation. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I know you've prayed for my son in the past--will be in prayer for your dd. Turnabout Ranch and the New Life ones are pretty good. First, tho, have her go thru your county and get assessed to see if she needs residential. If you can avoid it, then great. If not, remember YOU NEED TO HAVE COUNSELING, TOO. Chris, I am curious what you meant by this bolded section. What should be done if an evaluation says she does not need residential treatment. Where do you go from there? Outpatient psychiatric care? Perhaps I misunderstood something. I am not being rude - hope it does not sound this way. I know from your past posts how deeply entrenched you are in this fight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Chris, I am curious what you meant by this bolded section. What should be done if an evaluation says she does not need residential treatment. Where do you go from there? Outpatient psychiatric care? Perhaps I misunderstood something.I am not being rude - hope it does not sound this way. I know from your past posts how deeply entrenched you are in this fight. There are options if resi is not on the table. Basically, you hit it with everything you can--so that may be 12 step program meetings for everyone in the family several times a week (at least parents and addict); private therapy (family centered with private for addict); addiction education meetings; short-term or long-term day treatment (these are where the addict goes all day to theraputic treatment and may include education on addiction, nutrition, psych group or individual, exercise therapy, art therapy, music therapy, and may have a parents' group, too....) or any combo of the above! You are not rude at all. You wouldn't believe the number of things we have gone thru. I say avoid resi if you can because it is sort of like cancer drugs to me--you have to do a pretty thorough risk/benefit assessment because resi can cause its own problems, unfortunately. It's just something to be aware of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Praying for you and your dd, Bee! :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I think I am beginning to understand what you mean. The atmosphere in a contained environment such as residential treatment brings its own problems with it. I suppose full day treatments are the next best thing in terms of intensity of treatment. What a heart break. You and Bee are in my prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 There are options if resi is not on the table. Basically, you hit it with everything you can--so that may be 12 step program meetings for everyone in the family several times a week (at least parents and addict); private therapy (family centered with private for addict); addiction education meetings; short-term or long-term day treatment (these are where the addict goes all day to theraputic treatment and may include education on addiction, nutrition, psych group or individual, exercise therapy, art therapy, music therapy, and may have a parents' group, too....) or any combo of the above! You are not rude at all. You wouldn't believe the number of things we have gone thru. I say avoid resi if you can because it is sort of like cancer drugs to me--you have to do a pretty thorough risk/benefit assessment because resi can cause its own problems, unfortunately. It's just something to be aware of. I never went through residential as an addict. However, as a professional, I agree with extreme caution - balanced by needs. Many thousands have been helped by decent programs. Many have been in a combination of program and their current life space that they plunged deeper into dysfunction due to aspects of the recovery attempts. It is not an exact science - trying to meet addicts at their level of willingness and support positive change. Gathering a bunch of them together can create some chaos. Sometimes facilities emerge that have profit/ego in priority over science, professionalism, and evidence based practice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I'm just so sorry. I wish we were friends in real life, I would be there for you. I do want you to know that there is always great hope. One of my dearest, oldest friends and coworkers is 2 years sober and clean, we are so proud of him and he is so wonderful. Hope... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I don't know where you are with your dd, but I have a sister in the same boat. Recently lost kids, home, everything. Praying for her and you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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