s/o house hunting: how did you know when you found THE house?

[Little Nyssa]

Did you know you had found the house you would buy when you found one that met your criteria: X number bedrooms + X sq footage + neighborhood etc?

Or did you find one that you just liked, that felt like you could see your family living there, and did you choose it even though it had one or two things that you would have thought were dealbreakers if you saw them in another house?

How important to you were the intangible factors that add up to likeability?

Or, do you get attached to a house by living in it, not by seeing it empty (or furnished with the original owner's stuff, LOL)?

Should you try to stay emotionally detached, or is emotional attachment or instinct an important part of this process?

Thanks!!! Can you tell I am doing this for the first time?:001_smile:

[sbgrace]

We're still living in the only home we've owned while married. I needed to live in this town for a teaching position and there were very few homes available. We were also living about 4.5 hours away at the time. My parents found this house as a for sale by owner and raved about how wonderful it was. When we finally came to see it I hated it. But it did have the necessary space and the right location and it was in the right price range. We did a lot of work and made improvements. I really like our home so I guess it grew on me.

 

If I were looking now with kids and an awareness of what works for us I'd have a specific set of criteria in terms of layout of rooms/area. If I found something at my price which had the right space and layout I'd jump on it no matter the other stuff--even if it needed work assuming I could do the work and still be within our price point.

[Perogi]

In the past 10 years we have moved a lot - most recently this past summer. We are on our 5th home and every time I just "know"...I can picture my life in the house, where I'll put my things, how and where we will spend our time, etc. Usually the properties we look at have been narrowed down by number of bedrooms, yard, whatever, but in the end when it comes to choosing I just know. So far that has served us well!

[Ellie]

Each time we bought a house, it was the one that made our hearts go ZING when we walked in. :)

 

Although I do have to say that this house was a bit of work. We had narrowed it down to this and one other, and we literally went back and forth and back and forth, walking through each one and visualizing ourselves living in it. This house was the first one we looked at, followed by 20 or so others over the course of two or three days. We just wanted to be sure, because we figured it would be our last. :)

[ma23peas]

Honestly, God leads me to them...I will share two of the ten times...

 

Dh and I had discussed finding a home that had an extra bedroom for us to freely offer a room for my aging grandmother. So, we started to look for a home with a fourth bedroom...just to add one bedroom in our area at the time would bump us to a major $ increase, we then decided if we are going to spend that kind of money, might as well get some land...long story short, I had given up finding 'it'...builders wanted too much for land, etc...I told one developer, all I wanted was 5 acres, a house and a barn...how hard was that? The very next day, a man was walking along my sidewalk, he picked up a neighborhood newspaper and held it out to me, I told him I never read them that he could keep it ( granted, I had been praying diligently). But he said, "Maybe there is something in there for you this week." honestly, I had been wanting a new school room table...the vintage formica types, so, I figured I would look in the classifieds ...there smack dab in the middle was an ad "5 acres, house, and a barn". THAT was the exact title and words I had spoken! I called immediately, the owners said that ad was not supposed to be in there..they had cancelled it two weeks prior, but would still let me see it...we have been here five years!

 

Another time, I kept having a vision/dream of a certain tree, had never seen one like it in the South...Could not figure out the significance. Through a strange turn of events I was promoted to a position clear across the country in WA state..34 weeks pregnant, we had to find a home quickly...the very first house we went to, when I went in the backyard, there it was! THE tree in my dreams! The house set against a wetlands and loads of hemlocks! Beautiful! I knew it was our home and it was perfect!

 

I have just learned that God knows our needs, the home in WA was 1000 sq ft LESS than our home in GA, but never even thought about it, that tree made the decision.

[Veritaserum]

We got in the door because it had enough of our wants. We bought when we had that warm, fuzzy feeling of home. :)

[Miss Peregrine]

We only looked at one house. Did it fit in our budget? Check. Does it have enough room? Check.

 

Ok done. None of this back and forth fretting over minor details. We did it the same way with both of the houses we have bought and don't regret it one bit.

[Unicorn.]

My best advice, as told to me by my sister, is listen to your gut. If the idea of buying a certain house makes you sick at your stomach, it's not the right one.

[runmiarun]

I agree with a pp about listening to your gut. We just finished house hunting and found a wonderful house that we will close on in a couple of weeks. We had found a different house that we didn't agree on. I only liked the price and could tolerate the rest. My gut was screaming "NO". It needed too much work. DH absolutely loved it and was willing to overlook the laundry list of stuff that needed working on. Long story short, the inspection came up with a basement and crawl space full of black mold. Not the house for us. We looked some more and one dark night drove up to a house that wasn't quite big enough but the yard knocked my socks off. Literally took my breath away. Even in the dark. Once we got inside, the house slowly won me over. We could work with it. The layout was enough that we could easily make additions in the future when we had more money. In the dark, the yard looked huge. When we went back 2 days later, the yard was even bigger in the daytime. And fenced. I was sold. With 4 kids, I would rather have more yard than more house. The kitchen is smallish but has room for adding more cabinets when we can afford it. It'll work for now.

 

You'll find something that will work for you. It may take your breath away the first time you look at it, it may slid up next to you and woo you slowly, or it may be perfect for now and grow into a long-term love affair. You'll know. I can't explain it, but you'll know.

[PrincessMommy]

I think it's very hard to find *the* house but perhaps some people are lucky.

 

I spent most of 2011 house hunting. It was hard. I never found *the* house. In fact, we found the house we really liked and as soon as we put a bid on it and it was accepted I starting finding all the thing WRONG with the house! I became a basket case, 2nd guessing myself, realizing that some things I didn't think were important were suddenly VERY important, and regretting our decision, yada yada yada.

 

Just to say - it was an emotional experience I had not expected. I was so excited to LOOK for a house, but when I found one that had nearly 90% of the things on our list that 10% just ate me up. I could go on, but you don't want to hear my selfish and depressing story.

 

It's been a hard few months, but we had our house blessing last night. I'm hoping it will turn a corner for me and I won't be sad so much of the time now.

[Tess in the Burbs]

it was different every time.

 

First house was livable, affordable. Did not have all our wants. But it had the wood moulding and lots of woods. The outside was awful but inside was what dh wanted. So we bought it. We could afford it and it was in the area we wanted to be. In hindsight that house was a good find. We had all kinds of improvement ideas. Only lived there 9 months before moving cross country...

 

Second house was amazing. It was HUGE, had a great lot, well landscaped and was on a cul de sac. It backed up to a power line easement but we didn't care about that. People used those open areas for hiking, biking, atv's. We wanted access to it :tongue_smilie: We ended up having amazing neighbors too. But dh got laid off 3 months after buying that house and we stayed 6 months total before having to sell it. The newspaper guy bought it. :001_huh:

 

Our last house was not one I would have picked. However, it was perfect for our family. I didn't want to be in that neighborhood. I didn't like the layout of the house. I didn't like the empty yard. I didn't like anything. But in the housing peak it was all we could afford. It truly was a good house for us. None of the bedrooms touched. The kids rooms were the same size. The kids bathroom was huge. Our bedroom was ginormous! We had tons of friends on the street. We could walk to the library and park. Ahhhh, in hindsight it was a perfect location and house. However, dh's job was going away so we moved north. Our short sale kept getting delayed thanks to a greedy bank and went to foreclosure a few months later. :glare:

 

We are renting now and I knew the moment I walked in it was what I wanted :lol: So yes, I think sometimes you just know.

[KidsHappen]

We looked at ten houses in this neighborhood, most of them with the same floor plan so we already had it narrowed to those two factors and were just looking for the right one. My dd pointed this one out and I kind of dismissed it because I didn't love the outside (all of the outsides are different) but we decided to look at it anyhow. I loved it the minute we walked in the door. If felt different than all the others just like it. It felt like home. Plus as an extra bonus the woman was an immaculant house keeper. The home was in like new condition, actually even better because any little kinks or bugs had already been taken care of. Here we are five years later and it still feels like home. I love the house, everything about it including the neighborhood, the neighbors, the location. I don't see us moving until the kids are grown and it is time to down size to a one story house. Hopefully, that will entail a move to GA where a few of the kids and one of the grandkids currently live. I have no idea where dd#3 wants to live but #4 wants to University of Florida and youngest plans on staying home through college so she can go to the same one her older sister is going to now. I would be thrilled to find a house in my dd's neighborhood.

[Ottakee]

We had some very specific criteria and a VERY limited area we wanted to live---our same rural township--so that made our housing options very limited. Honestly, we looked at about 10 houses but only a few of them really had enough land---we had to have at least 5 acres for our horses/hobby farm.

 

We actually found "our" house and made an offer on it but the lady RAISED the price and wanted quite a bit more than it was worth. We were ready to sign anyway as we NEEDED a place to live (MDOT was tearing down our current home) and it had land and a barn. Our realtor suggested we sleep on it (house wasn't even listed). Well, that next morning I got on the internet at 6am and started looking yet again and there was a NEW listing.......it had just been listed overnight.

 

It had 5 acres but only 3 bedrooms (we had a 5 bedroom plus office home) and no barn but room where we could build one. I decided to call the realtor on it as it was priced less than the other home. Well, we got a showing that morning and the house ended up with 3 bedrooms but had a 4th one in the basement and room to add on 1-2 more in the daylight basement. It also had a huge pole barn/garage that would work for my husband's automotive repair stuff, etc.

 

We went through the house and in about 15 minutes told the realtor to write up a full price offer. By 1pm our offer was accepted.

 

The house was in good shape but needed a new roof and the paint colors/carpeting were NOT my style (think bright pink family room, purple living room, teal elsewhere) but those things could be changed.

 

We just knew when we walked in the door that this was OUR house. It has been better than expected as we have portable ramps so my mother in her power wheelchair can get in and out of the main floor and it has a bath she can get into. The girls have rooms upstairs (along with a bonus room for toys/media, etc) and we finished off a bedroom and family room in the basement for our son. Dh and I get the main floor master suite.

[LisaKinVA]

I tend to be picky about layout, and things that are difficult to change. Location is becoming an issue. Ruling out houses is always easier for me (kitchen too cramped, flying staircases, master bedroooms that open to the family room below...things like that). There was one house my dh wanted to put an offer on, but made me feel sick to move there. It was 1500sq. ft. The lot was GORGEOUS. But, we don't spend our days inside (especially during the winter). We ended up passing on it (and I'm so glad we did). It would have been a step up from the basement, but it made me feel sick to buy it.

 

We've now purchased 3 homes. First one, we built (was based on a design I really liked...we just modified the bathrooms and kitchen/laundry/pantry areas a little. Second one had the right (or liveable) layout, and had lots of potential, but we were only there 6 mos. before dh job moved... This one has a liveable layout, we modified the kitchen & baths, and added a nice large morning room (school/eating table). We also have a breakfast bar that seats 6, so we don't have to clear school to eat :D

 

This is *not* my ideal layout, but it's very liveable. I'm working on house plans now for our 4th house. The house will not have a basement, so I'm trying to ensure we have certain key areas (walk-in pantry, good closets, nice laundry room, good bathroom space). When I'm done designing it will probably have about 3000 sq. ft. on 2 floors, with the master down, but the rooms will be "right sized" for us...fewer, larger rooms. I can't wait to have people visit my "dream" house :lol:

[jplain]

Should you try to stay emotionally detached, or is emotional attachment or instinct an important part of this process?

Thanks!!! Can you tell I am doing this for the first time?:001_smile:

DO NOT GET ATTACHED. You will anyway. But I warned you.

 

Buying a house is an enormous financial transaction. Probably the largest transaction you will ever be a part of. It should be scary. You should be nervous. You should not allow emotion to cloud your judgment.

 

In this market, if it isn't exactly what you want, keep looking. If you haven't found the perfect house within a year, only then should you consider relaxing your standards.

 

If your family income isn't rock solid for the foreseeable future, consider waiting. Are jobs plentiful? How would a period of unemployment or slow business affect your family?

 

Do not let anyone use ratios or percentages to tell you what you can afford as a monthly payment. If they have a vested interest in this transaction, they don't have your best interests at heart. Figure out what you're comfortable paying, and from there figure out how much house you can buy.

 

If you can't afford 20% down, my advice is don't buy, because you'll probably be underwater on your loan for quite some time.

 

And for goodness sake, don't let anyone talk you into an adjustable-rate mortgage.

 

There. Have fun kids! :D

Edited February 14, 2012 by jplain

[Denisemomof4]

I had gone house hu ting with a friend. I had no intentions of searching for one myself. I truly enjoyed the tours of homes. At the end of the day the realtor said she should take dh and I around to see what we like. She knew we werent in the market because we had two properties, one which the value dropped tremendously since we bought it (stock market crash of 89 or 90 or whatever) the other dh had had for years. wewent to look just for fun. Again, i walked through houses enjoying the tours. When we came to our house, i remember liking the large yard but felt the house was somewhat plain on the outside. When we walked inside the house, my heart sank. I absolutely fell in LOVE with the house, and i knew we were in no position to buy. We put our depressed property on the market and signed an agreement for this house. It was a shot in the dark and i never thought we would get it! The house was out of our price range, but it was going into foreclosure. So we tried.

 

I knew what i wanted in a home, but seeing this place erased everything. We live on a long dirt road (I grew up in CA and detailed my cars inside and out regularly. Driving a dirty car is something I had to get used to.) have to plow it ourselves, drive to the mailboxes, no cable tv, no high speed internet, one batheoom short.

 

Our house was only 8 years old when we bought it, but I knew I would want to make changes one day. We just had the kitchen remodeled and i want to remodel the upstairs bathroom. It is now perfect for us.

 

I was always told you would Just Know when it was the right house for you. That was absolutely true for us. Dh and I absolutely knew we wanted this home the second we walked inside.

 

I LOVE it here and hope to stay here until I die.:001_smile:

 

Eta: We have been here almost 16 years.

Edited February 14, 2012 by Denisemomof4

[Annie G]

I guess we're just not that picky. We found a house large enough and affordable, and bought it. We love it, but it still (after 18 years!) needs a lot of work. For us, a house is just a house. Our family is what makes it a home. And we don't need a perfect fit for that.

 

We'll probably never be able to sell our house- we've done things to it that WE like, not necessarily what other people like. After reading the recent house selling threads, I'm pretty sure we'd never find a buyer.

[gingersmom]

I looked at 100 houses before buying. Different states, different layout.

 

Price was the #1 factor. After that everything else was pretty negotiable.

 

I knew when I opened the front door to my house that it was the one. I walked into 1-2 rooms and declared I was buying it. I had my mom and brother with me and they thought I was crazy.

 

Its been 10 years and I still love it.

[-M-]

My daughters and I spent the first half of 2010 in search of the “forever home.†(We let Mr. M-mv out of the process after the first two stops, since his rejoinder is nearly always, “Hey! This is nice.†No matter what we’re looking at.) Housing prices were still falling (are still), and the realtor was not meeting our expectations, so we shut down the search in mid-summer.

 

In late 2010, I saw the listing for this house. The price had come down, of course.

 

We met the new realtor, who took us to the house a day later. I knew I would buy it the minute we stepped in. It was not an emotional connection; it was more than that. *CLICK* Like a key in its lock. I was home. I was in the house I’d be in when my daughters became adults, my hair went gray, my husband retired, and so on.

 

This was it.

 

My daughters agreed. Interestingly, Mr. M-mv did not. He thought it might be too small. (We had been looking at four-bedroom homes and/or homes with full, finished basements earlier in the year. The “forever home†is a three-bedroom ranch.) He liked it and could envision all of the renovations I proposed, but he worried.

 

His only concern was that we would be happy in it.

 

I assured him we would.

 

We did see one other home with that realtor, in a blizzard, as a matter of fact. “This isn’t it,†Miss M-mv(ii) declared when we entered. She was uncharacteristically petulant: She had no idea why we needed to see another house when our house was waiting for us “back home.†Mr. M-mv’s hearty “Hey! This is—“ was arrested by warning looks from the three women in his life.

 

We met the realtor at the “forever home†again the next day, went to her office to prepare the offer, and closed less than six weeks later – on the eve of yet another blizzard, as a matter of fact. Contractors streamed in and out of the house for the following month, but when we finally slept in our own bed in our “forever home,†Mr. M-mv turned to me and said, “I don’t know how you do it. It’s perfect.â€

 

Ayup.

[Happy]

I let the ten year old do it.

 

Well, that's the way it worked out. We lived on the farm in a mobile home for the first 15 years of our marriage. When a job finally freed us from there, we went house shopping. And looked and looked. One Sunday I took the three year old and my nearly ten year old to an open house. I liked immediately, but what sealed the deal was my oldest son saying things like "I could mow this lawn." Or "This is my bedroom." The fact that swallows had a nest on the back porch and I saw an jet like DH flew while looking out a cute eyebrow window didn't hurt. We loved that house for seven years until we moved overseas.

 

When time came to buy another home here in Texas, my youngest (now 10) went with me and the realtor to look for homes. About the fifth one we looked at was a builder spec home. Empty and on a horse friendly lot. I was wandering through when I heard my youngest say 'the dining table goes here; the TV goes here." I watched him as he 'arranged' all our furniture which was still storage. I called dh and said we've found our home. Turns out that his travel schedule was such that he didn't see the house before closing. We got a sweet end of year deal if we could close before Christmas. Eleven days from then. We did it and have lived here eleven years.

 

As a realtor now, I tell people that some homes will 'sing' to you. Some, even though they meet every requirement you have, will not. Listen to the songs...

 

I also tell them at the beginning of a search that if they can find 85% of their want list, that's good. More than that means you may be nit-picking too much and missing out on great homes.

[Little Nyssa]

Thank you everyone for these stories of how you found your house(s)! I really appreciate all them and the advice, it is very helpful!:001_smile:

[regentrude]

We had narrowed it down and only went to look at houses that already met our criteria for neighborhood and size.

When we walked into the house we ended up buying, it just felt right from the moment I walked into the door. The floor plan was good, the house felt comfortable and cozy and just "right".

It was not the largest house, did not have the fanciest kitchen, dated bathrooms, but a yard with mature trees, great curb appeal (I just liked the look) and a feel of "home" inside. Even though the walls were an odd off-white color and the house was cluttered with far more stuff that we would have.

[Rivka]

We just bought our first house this fall. It's the sixth house we looked at. I almost didn't look at it, because the pictures on the listing weren't that appealing and I thought it would be too small. (We have 1500 square feet on the main level, and although there's a lower level, I didn't like the idea of having a big part of the house underground.) Our realtor encouraged me to look anyway, and I decided to take her advice.

 

I loved it the moment I walked in. It felt so cozy and homelike and comfortable. The realtor and I spent a lot of time just sitting on the screened in porch enjoying our surroundings. I also kept wandering back into the kitchen and imagining us cooking and eating there.

 

It turned out that the house is on a sloping lot, and the lower level has walk-out sliding glass doors in its big main room. The listed square footage didn't include the downstairs. The bedrooms are very, very ordinary, but the public rooms and outdoor living spaces are amazing - light, spacious, and beautifully arranged.

 

My advice is to look at a lot of different places, even styles you aren't sure you'll like, to get an idea of the full range of possibilities. If you had asked me what kind of houses I like, I never in a million years would have said "a mid-century ranch!" But when we started looking at houses, I found myself really drawn to the clean lines and efficient layouts of mid-century houses. That's what we bought, and I love it.

[misidawnrn]

We just bought a new house in May. Our old house (that we now rent out) was just getting too small. We had a list of stuff that we wanted and HAD to have and a list of stuff that we wanted but could live without.

Had to haves:

1.A shop (bigger than a garage) for DH to work out of. He builds race car engines. OR a place big enough to build a shop.

2. A place for us to have a homeschool room that wasn't part of another room. We were using the dining room for HS room and then had to eat in the living room.

3. At least 4 bedrooms and 2 baths.

4. A little out of town but not too far away. I have a 30 minute response time when I am called in to work.

5. A place in the house for my sewing room, even if it was part of the master bedroom but not in a place like the livingroom, etc.

6. Laundry room that was not part of the rest of the living space-old one was in the kitchen so on laundry day the kitchen was full of dirty clothes. yuck!

 

We found all of the above with all of the below on a house and it was a short sale. We were 2nd bidders and the 1st bidders got it. Then we found the house we bought. It has all of the above and some of the below but we are happy with it. We found a 5 bedroom (one for us, one for DD-2, one for DD-8, one for stepdaughters, one for sewing room), 2300 sq ft, 2 bathrooms, 2 living rooms (the one in the basement is HUGE and we divided it in half and part is a TV room and part is the school room and it works perfectly) laundry room, 40X60 shop and a double car garage on an acre that is exactly 18 minutes from my work. It was a little more than what we wanted to pay but it is great.

 

Optionals:

1. allows chickens-got!

2. mud room-didn't get

3.if the house had 2 leves, a bathroom on each level- didn't get but we do have 2 bathrooms on main level

4. We were hoping for at least an acre and we got an acre but would have settled for smaller land if it had all 6 of the must haves.

 

So, I would start with your must haves and can settles and don't wants list and go from there.

[lllll]

..

[amyable]

We had narrowed it down and only went to look at houses that already met our criteria for neighborhood and size.

When we walked into the house we ended up buying, it just felt right from the moment I walked into the door. The floor plan was good, the house felt comfortable and cozy and just "right".

It was not the largest house, did not have the fanciest kitchen, dated bathrooms, but a yard with mature trees, great curb appeal (I just liked the look) and a feel of "home" inside. Even though the walls were an odd off-white color and the house was cluttered with far more stuff that we would have.

 

:iagree:

 

especially with the bolded.

 

When we walked in our current house (15 years ago! Ugh, I'm so ready to move, lol) it just felt right. It was a very strong feeling. It's the same feeling I got when I met my dh, and went to visit the state we are currently living in, years before we moved into it.

 

We are currently house hunting, and I'm looking for "that feeling" again. I've probably been in 100 houses (it's been 3 years) and I haven't felt it yet. :glare: We've even made several offers because dh has liked the houses, and they all fell through for one reason or another.

[Crimson Wife]

I spent a lot of time driving around the area where we were house-hunting checking out neighborhoods. Most of them seemed really boring California generic. Imagine someone kidnapping you, driving you around the state for a couple of days blindfolded, and then releasing you without telling you where you were. You could tell that you were somewhere in California by the landscaping and architecture, but you wouldn't have a clue exactly where because it looks like 90% of the upper-middle-class suburban CA neighborhoods you have visited. :lol:

 

We ended up narrowing down our search to certain neighborhoods that didn't have that boring generic look to them. We toured several houses, including the one we ended up making an offer on and the house directly across from it, which was also for sale. We liked both of those equally, but bid on the one we felt had a more motivated seller. We judged that one correctly because the house across the street STILL has not yet closed 2 1/2 years after it was first listed. It has gone pending several times but the deals keep falling through. We're not quite sure what the deal is with it.

[MariannNOVA]

DH and I have bought and sold 9 houses in our 17 years of marriage.

 

The first criteria is LOCATION. It is not a cliche -- even if you intend to stay in a house forever, I always look with an eye to resale (do not ask me what happened this time -- I did look with an eye to resale, but this must be a very tough market).

 

After Location, it is the LOCATION of the location -- even the BEST, most desirable areas have places that are less desirable sometimes -- I stay away from those.

 

After location OR at the same time, it is PRICE! I am not afraid to offer lowball offers.....worst the owner will do is say no......or say nothing at all.

 

And, at the same time as location as price, it is 'does the home work for our family.'

 

I looked at a home last week that the kids and I LOVED -- it was so 'unique' -- it was really one of a kind. It was TOO SMALL. REALLY! Not enough bedrooms, expansion would have been a *itch, garage was quirky. BUT -- the neighborhood was TOP NOTCH!!!!! Dh won't even go to see it.

 

And, except for the tiny bedrooms, because of everything else, it SO would have worked for us.

 

But, I am pretending it doesn't exist.

 

I also in love with another property that we saw that went under contract BUT the contract fell through so it is back on the market -- I am trying not even to think about the house b/c THAT is how much I love it -- it is the house I could stay in for the rest of my life -- enough rooms, ideal location, excellent price -- things that we want new are new.