Where should we live -- military relocation -- have to decide by noon!

[EKS]

Not in Twenty-nine Palms. :)

 

There's a reason for that.

[Elinor Everywhere]

Oh, did you move to Colo? :D

 

Bill

 

:lol::lol:

[Teachin'Mine]

:toetap05: So where ya goin'? Cali or Penn? :D

[Pretty in Pink]

We haven't decided. Apparently the decision can wait until tomorrow. :tongue_smilie:

 

He is trying to talk me into Twentynine Palms but it really is in the middle of the desert. It sounds incredibly depressing to me, and I normally enjoy moving and seeing different parts of the world. He said there's no grass there! Gah.

 

I would rather go to PA, despite the fact that it's bitterly cold in the winter.

 

He says that we can't enjoy NYC with five kids in tow.

 

I say that I won't enjoy being stuck in base housing five days per week with five children with nothing to go and do.

 

He says we'll take the kids to Disney/Lego Land/etc. on the weekends.

 

I know that all of those things are 2+ hours drive and that, for several reasons, we won't be doing those things as often as he says we will.

 

He would enjoy the job in CA more.

[JaniceO]

He would enjoy the job in CA more.

 

After begging my husband to take the job where we are now (not that we had many choices, lol), and seeing how absolutely miserable he has become, this would be very important to me.

 

Also, I understand where you are coming from about saying you'll get to Disney, etc., but in reality not really being able to. We have a whole list of things we said we'd do once we were here. We've been here for over a year now and haven't done much of anything (for various reasons).

 

You can have fun in NYC with 5 kids. We had 3 small (like 4 and under) boys when we went there years ago and we still had a blast. Our children have been raised travelling and sightseeing (read that as being dragged all over the place, lol).

 

Ultimately, you have to decide what is going to be best for ALL of you. Both of you need to be happy.

[Spy Car]

I hate to say it, but unless you have a "desert-rat" type personality, I do think you would find 29 Palms to be a very depressing place to live. Especially as a woman with young children.

 

It is a barren place, both physically and culturally. There is an odd-beauty to surrounding areas (especially Joshua Tree) but I would go stir-crazy were I trapped in 29 Palms for any length of time.

 

Bill

[TravelingChris]

If you haven't been stationed in the West Coast, I would really go for that. Yes, the desert in Twenty Nine Palms can be bleak. BUt the trips you take are fabulou=particularly for homeschoolers. Death Valley, Yosemite, Sequoia and KIngs Canyon NAtional Parks, La Brea Tar Pits, Whale watching trips, seeing Elephant Seals, visiting the San Andreas Fault. etc, etc. You would get to visit actual ghost towns. There are so many ecoystems in California. While we were there, (not 29 Palms since we are AF but different bases in CA), we also visited the coastal communities like Santa Barbara and Solvang, drove up to Lava National Park, visited Or and Crater Lake, visited WA and Mt. St. Helens, Olympic National Park (with rainforests), Mt. Rainier. Seattle and Portland, took a ferry to Victoria Canada and then to Vancouver. We went to Anza Borrego State Park - very impressive-in CA. Visited San Diego-beautiful city, San Francisco- also very beautiful, missions all over CA, gold rush towns, and I can just go on and on and on. Of Course you would be right next to Joshua Tree National Park. You would be an hour away from Palm Springs which is a well populated area with lots of stores, restaurants, and tourist attractions. In Barstow, which is in the other direction, there is a large outlet mall and closeby the Calico Ghost Town.

 

It really is not all the way out in nowhere land. But just writing this post has made me think how I need to plan a vacation to California.

[Harriet Vane]

 

He would enjoy the job in CA more.

 

This is the most compelling factor I see here.

[Spy Car]

This is the most compelling factor I see here.

 

Have you ever been to 29 Palms?

 

Bill

[sheryl]

I know it's past noon, but PA is my choice!

[Momtoamayalilal2]

Everything is within driving distance in CA. My hubs drives from where we are to Twentynine Palms all the time for work. Everything really is close...nothing is that far away.

 

For me, as a native Californian, I would MUCH rather have a CA winter where my children can still play outside than be stuck in the house bitter cold weather or a blizzard O.o THAT would be depressing to me....but we arent used to snow or weather like that here.

[mommaduck]

Everything is within driving distance in CA. My hubs drives from where we are to Twentynine Palms all the time for work. Everything really is close...nothing is that far away.

 

For me, as a native Californian, I would MUCH rather have a CA winter where my children can still play outside than be stuck in the house bitter cold weather or a blizzard O.o THAT would be depressing to me....but we arent used to snow or weather like that here.

There is that.

[Mrs Mungo]

Like I said, Fort Irwin (an hour into the desert from Barstow) was our first duty station. There were lots of things happening in the community because it was isolated. There were lots of coffee groups, mom and tot type of things, etc. We had a great commissary and PX, which, again was due to the fact that we were isolated.

 

The main thing it did was get us accustomed to doing a lot of driving. Because we *did* get out of Dodge every weekend: Big Bear, San Bernadino, etc. In turn, that prepared us well for living in Europe.

Edited December 8, 2011 by Mrs Mungo
Phone

[Momtoamayalilal2]

Like I said, Fort Irwin (an hour into the desert from Barstow) was our first duty station. There were lots of things happening in the community because it was isolated. There were lots of coffee groups, mom and tot type of things, etc. We had a great commissary and PX, which, again was due to the fact that we were isolated.

 

The main thing it did was get us accustomed to doing a lot of driving. Because we *did* get out of Dodge every weekend: Big Bear, San Bernadino, In turn, that prepared us well for living in Europe.

 

This.

 

My hubs works out of Fort Irwin as well and is shocked at how many homeschoolers he has met as of late! Makes me wanna live on base for the activities.lol, but alas, we are not military *sigh*

[helena]

I hate to say it, but unless you have a "desert-rat" type personality, I do think you would find 29 Palms to be a very depressing place to live. Especially as a woman with young children.

 

It is a barren place, both physically and culturally. There is an odd-beauty to surrounding areas (especially Joshua Tree) but I would go stir-crazy were I trapped in 29 Palms for any length of time.

 

Bill

 

Bill, you're cracking me up!!

Last weekend we drove from "behind the Orange Curtain" to Tempe... My husband calls the 29 Palms area Arizona. Hee hee!

 

ETA: I vote Ca.

[speedmom4]

I vote for Allentown. I love the changing seasons. I think the winters would take some getting used to but my children LOVE snow. There is so much to do around that area.

 

The desert seems like a fun place to visit (or drive through) but not to live.

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

[Myeightkiddies]

I'd check out online sources to determine which place has the highest cost of living. After finding that out I'd choose the one with the lower, since you aren't attached to either in particular.

[Trish]

California is supposed to have a mega-earthquake any moment now. (according to geologists I guess) However I didn't read to the end of the thread to see which you picked. If is was Cali, I'm sure everything will stay quiet!

[KrissiK]

PA hands down. CA is about the most screwed up state you could live in every aspect but physical landform beauty.

 

I've never been to PA, but I'd agree with the statement about California. Besides, 29 Palms is in the middle of the desert.

[Trish]

I just saw pix of 29 Palms -- Allentown is definitely more family friendly. I went to school there, sort of, Lehigh University is in nearby Bethlehem. It's a short hop to NYC and Philly, and the area itself is nice, IMO.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Everything is within driving distance in CA. My hubs drives from where we are to Twentynine Palms all the time for work. Everything really is close...nothing is that far away.

 

For me, as a native Californian, I would MUCH rather have a CA winter where my children can still play outside than be stuck in the house bitter cold weather or a blizzard O.o THAT would be depressing to me....but we arent used to snow or weather like that here.

 

I'd go crazy somewhere like PA. If I weren't deciding my live-forever place, the snow and cold would be the deal breaker on deciding where to live for a few years. I'd be miserable and hate it. Desert over snow every day, all day.

[elfgivas]

If you haven't been stationed in the West Coast, I would really go for that. Yes, the desert in Twenty Nine Palms can be bleak. BUt the trips you take are fabulou=particularly for homeschoolers. Death Valley, Yosemite, Sequoia and KIngs Canyon NAtional Parks, La Brea Tar Pits, Whale watching trips, seeing Elephant Seals, visiting the San Andreas Fault. etc, etc. You would get to visit actual ghost towns. There are so many ecoystems in California. While we were there, (not 29 Palms since we are AF but different bases in CA), we also visited the coastal communities like Santa Barbara and Solvang, drove up to Lava National Park, visited Or and Crater Lake, visited WA and Mt. St. Helens, Olympic National Park (with rainforests), Mt. Rainier. Seattle and Portland, took a ferry to Victoria Canada and then to Vancouver. We went to Anza Borrego State Park - very impressive-in CA. Visited San Diego-beautiful city, San Francisco- also very beautiful, missions all over CA, gold rush towns, and I can just go on and on and on. Of Course you would be right next to Joshua Tree National Park. You would be an hour away from Palm Springs which is a well populated area with lots of stores, restaurants, and tourist attractions. In Barstow, which is in the other direction, there is a large outlet mall and closeby the Calico Ghost Town.

 

It really is not all the way out in nowhere land. But just writing this post has made me think how I need to plan a vacation to California.

 

come see us when you come!

 

in our experience, women either love the desert, or they hate it.....

 

i'd go where dh would enjoy the job more..... regardless of which place that was. we love snow; we love the desert. but being able to be outside alll winter, and to enjoy the desert summer sunsets..... for three years i'd say its worth a go....

 

the other thing that struck me about ops last post was talking about things being 2hours away as if that were a long time. here in SoCal, that is a daily commute time... folks don't think twice about going to all those places for the day.

 

but i love PA, too. but not the homeschool laws.

 

so

a) homeschooling - CA definitely

b) job - CA definitely

c) lack of remoteness - PA definitely....

 

does that help?

ann

[Ellie]

California is supposed to have a mega-earthquake any moment now. (according to geologists I guess) However I didn't read to the end of the thread to see which you picked. If is was Cali, I'm sure everything will stay quiet!

Yeah, they've been saying that for at least 40 years. :-)

[Ellie]

We don't call our state Cali.

 

Bill

:iagree:

 

And we don't say "Frisco," either.

 

I write "Cali" because it's faster, but I never, ever heard anyone say it out loud during the almost 30 years I lived there.

[sassenach]

I hate to say it, but unless you have a "desert-rat" type personality, I do think you would find 29 Palms to be a very depressing place to live. Especially as a woman with young children.

 

It is a barren place, both physically and culturally. There is an odd-beauty to surrounding areas (especially Joshua Tree) but I would go stir-crazy were I trapped in 29 Palms for any length of time.

 

Bill

 

I thought I would hate it there, but I actually enjoyed it. There are definitely some sharp pros and cons.

 

And I call MY state Cali all the time ;-)

[sassenach]

:iagree:

 

And we don't say "Frisco," either.

 

I write "Cali" because it's faster, but I never, ever heard anyone say it out loud during the almost 30 years I lived there.

 

Or San Fran. Although I do say Cali.

[caitlinsmom]

I vote for Allentown. You are close® to a lot of historically interesting stuff and with NYC close you could have a million things to do anytime you wanted. I lived in California as a kid. Nothing ever made me want to go back. My grandparents lived near 29 palms so we visited the area often. Eh.

 

I vote for 4 seasons and cultural availablity. :)

[tammyw]

My husband is home. He said ABSOLUTELY.DO.NOT.MOVE.TO.29PALMS. He said "put it this way, if I moved you there, you would divorce me". He went to school at Carnegie Mellon, so he's very familiar with Pittsburgh and that area and he really liked it.

 

I'm laughing a bit at your husband's Disneyland and Legoland comment. Going to an amusement park once a year or so would *not* make my life any more pleasant, lol!

 

I personally think living in that part of the east coast with all the history would be great for a few years.

[sassenach]

I lived there for a year and a half, from '97-'98. I expected to hate it, but I didn't. It is most definitely in the middle of nowhere. We used to joke that to get there, all you needed to do was drive out to the middle of nowhere and then go north for 2 hours.

 

On the plus side, I actually liked the weather much more than I expected. It was truly beautiful. It was dry, clean and crisp, and not nearly hot for as long as I anticipated. The community was super, super friendly. We just had 1 baby then, so no comment on homeschooling stuff other than this is a very easy state to hs in. Housing was a mixed bag (we were E-3 at that time, so...). We had great housing, but friends of ours had a really crappy cinderblock unit. I went to an NCO's house once and it was pretty nice.

 

Again, the thing that sticks out more than anything was the sense of community. Maybe it's like that on most bases, but it just seemed special there.

 

I pm'd you my #. Feel free to call me, or pm me any specific questions. I'll do my best to answer. Obviously, it's been awhile so some things have changed I'm sure.

 

Best,

[JaniceO]

Have you ever been to 29 Palms?

 

Bill

 

Not to start any arguments, but have you ever been married to a military member who was miserable with their current assignment/duty station? I would much rather make the best of where I'm living than have my husband hate what he does.

[Teachin'Mine]

There is no grass, but there is a different beauty in the desert. Joshua Tree is beautiful!!! You know those massive cacti that you associate with the southwest? You'll see them there. The sunsets are also stunning. :) I would think you'd be stuck inside on more days in Allentown with the rain and snow than you would in California. Plenty of interesting sites are easily reachable on a weekend away. You never know until you try it, and it sounds like your husband would love to go there. Did I mention there's almost no traffic??? :D

[Mrs Mungo]

In my experience? There are two types of military wives: those who are happy everywhere and those who aren't happy anywhere. Wherever you end up, I am sure you'll make the best of it. :grouphug:

[RoundAbout]

Not to start any arguments, but have you ever been married to a military member who was miserable with their current assignment/duty station? I would much rather make the best of where I'm living than have my husband hate what he does.

 

:iagree:

 

And I'm not the kind of wife who submissively follows my husband around with no input. PCSing is definitely a family decision when we get a choice, however, the military is definitely not a regular job - a bad billet can range from "eh" to downright hellish. My husband is in a good job right now and its still 12 hour days and some weekends. So while his job satisfaction isn't the only consideration, it definitely gets weighted pretty heavily in our requests.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Have you ever been to 29 Palms?

 

Bill

 

I was just about to say this...

 

Not to start any arguments, but have you ever been married to a military member who was miserable with their current assignment/duty station? I would much rather make the best of where I'm living than have my husband hate what he does.

 

:iagree:

 

In my experience? There are two types of military wives: those who are happy everywhere and those who aren't happy anywhere. Wherever you end up, I am sure you'll make the best of it. :grouphug:

 

AMEN!

[bookfiend]

You homeschool five children - do you want to do all of the paperwork PA requires times five?

 

The train ride from Allentown to NYC is 3 hours. Will you be anymore likely to do this than the west coast alternatives.

 

Being housebound for several months due to bad weather will littles is crazy-making. Bundling up five children for bad weather is very time consuming and makes for a lot of laundry.

 

One more vote for California.

[iamrachelle]

Just thought I'd throw my 2 cents worth in... another vote for 29 Palms here too.

[peachskittles]

As I stare at the snow piling up outside, my vote is firmly California. I only drove to California to drop someone off so my opinion is purely based on the fact that I would LOVE to send my children outside at this time of year and not worry about them becoming kid popsicles.

[Punchie]

PA

 

29 Palms is desolate.

[Spy Car]

Not to start any arguments, but have you ever been married to a military member who was miserable with their current assignment/duty station? I would much rather make the best of where I'm living than have my husband hate what he does.

 

I have not. And I certainly not want to have a miserable spouse, which is why I wouldn't want to move to 29 Palms.

 

Bill

[Mrs Mungo]

I have not. And I certainly not want to have a miserable spouse, which is why I wouldn't want to move to 29 Palms.

 

Bill

 

But this *really* depends upon the spouse, lol! We would pick Fort Irwin over the Pentagon in a *heartbeat*. We have spent a good part of dh's career actively avoiding DC.

[iona]

The real question is, do you prefer Billy Joel or U2?

[tammyw]

I don't think the OP ever said the PA duty station would be a miserable one - just that the CA job would be more enjoyable.

 

I think you just have to weigh the pros and cons and pick where you'd all be happiest. I think if the home/family life is good, then everything else comes together. There are places we've lived that I really enjoyed and others that I didn't at all. Did I make the best of it? Yes, of course. It's what we apparently signed up for when we married into the military. On the other hand, if you have a choice, definitely go for the one where you think your family would be happier. For our family, location is pretty important.

[MtnTeaching]

Oh, did you move to Colo? :D

 

Bill

 

:auto: Yeap! Darn tootin' I did.

 

A South GA gal does a whole ton better in CO than in Silicon (make that cement) Valley. At least when I change lanes here, people wave at me with all five fingers, instead of just one. It just makes me feel more welcome.:D

[MtnTeaching]

Did we ever find out what the final decision was? Inquiring minds want to know?

 

Sunshine and lots and lots of sand? Green and lots of paperwork?

[Spy Car]

:auto: Yeap! Darn tootin' I did.

 

A South GA gal does a whole ton better in CO than in Silicon (make that cement) Valley. At least when I change lanes here, people wave at me with all five fingers, instead of just one. It just makes me feel more welcome.:D

 

Those folks in Sili Val are so full of themselves :D

 

It must be hard living so far from your home in SoGeo.

 

:auto:

 

Bill

[scrappyhappymama]

The real question is, do you prefer Billy Joel or U2?

 

:lol:

 

As a California native, I'd choose PA in a heartbeat. 29 Palms would make me stir crazy X100. We recently drove across the desert there twice and it is truly a long haul to civilization. It's desolate and brown and I couldn't see myself being happy there at all.

 

It's all well and good to say there are homeschoolers there, but to me that's like saying there are public schoolers somewhere. What if you don't mesh with them? Then what? It's not like you can drive to another group the next suburb over.

 

Sure there are lots of great places to see in CA. But how often does a family of five get to make weekend trips? Besides the cost of the amusement, there's gas and the expense of staying over somewhere and food out- not something that's going to happen often. I wouldn't trade daily amenities and comfort for an occasional road trip.

[Guest submarines]

Not to start any arguments, but have you ever been married to a military member who was miserable with their current assignment/duty station? I would much rather make the best of where I'm living than have my husband hate what he does.

 

:iagree:

[Spy Car]

:lol:

 

As a California native, I'd choose PA in a heartbeat. 29 Palms would make me stir crazy X100. We recently drove across the desert there twice and it is truly a long haul to civilization. It's desolate and brown and I couldn't see myself being happy there at all.

 

It's all well and good to say there are homeschoolers there, but to me that's like saying there are public schoolers somewhere. What if you don't mesh with them? Then what? It's not like you can drive to another group the next suburb over.

 

Sure there are lots of great places to see in CA. But how often does a family of five get to make weekend trips? Besides the cost of the amusement, there's gas and the expense of staying over somewhere and food out- not something that's going to happen often. I wouldn't trade daily amenities and comfort for an occasional road trip.

 

I wonder if people really have a picture of how bleak 29 Palms is? It is a good base to have if we are going to fight wars in the Iraqi desert or Afghanistan (or on the moon) but it is an inhospitable landscape, in the middle of no where.

 

I wonder what Allentown is like?

 

Bill

[Guest submarines]

I just googled images of both, and I would love to live in Twenty Nine Palms for up to 1 year. It is a unique opportunity to live in a unique, harsh environment. I lived in a very isolated place for 1 year, and loved it. It was difficult, and there were days when I just wanted to be out of there, but it was worth it.

 

The images of Allentown--oh, so lovely! I'm drawn to that place, in a very different way than I'm drawn to Twenty Nine Palms.

 

If the kids are young, and DH is happier in CA, I'd go there.

[Pretty in Pink]

In my experience? There are two types of military wives: those who are happy everywhere and those who aren't happy anywhere. Wherever you end up, I am sure you'll make the best of it. :grouphug:

 

You are right, of course. Either location will be a new adventure. :001_smile: