Should I have said something?

[gardenmom5]

Absolutely not. That would have been rude rude rude beyond belief and would not have changed her behavior. She smokes because she's addicted, and shaming her and publicly humiliating her would not end her addiction or do anything for her baby.

 

(And I am someone who thinks cigarettes are completely vile, so I am not defending her smoking.)

 

Tara

:iagree:

[Mommy22alyns]

I am completely against smoking and am appalled that a pg woman would smoke, but I would never have said anything.

 

At our Thanksgiving there was a child maybe 4 years of age with terrible eating habits. He got Diet Pepsi in a sippy cup, ate a few pieces of popcorn, and then proceeded to eat mini marshmallows even though his mother had told him no. I just bit. my. tongue. (And yes, he always eats that poorly. Our hosts were his grandparents and they're quite involved in his care.)

[Laura Corin]

New research strongly suggests that not even a single glass of beer or wine is okay during pregnancy. Even if you have just one drink your child could be born with severe FAS. I guess researchers found that some heavy drinkers could have children without FAS but also some mothers that only had one drink could have a baby with FAS. The amount of alcohol was not directly relevant.

 

Came to different conclusions. http://www.nhs.uk/news/2010/10October/Pages/light-drinking-in-pregnancy.aspx

 

FWIW I didn't drink during pregnancy, but I also didn't eat chocolate or drink coke. I was absolutely, 100% healthy intake. It was my way of controlling a situation which was, to me, out of control. I don't much like being pregnant.

 

Laura

Edited November 26, 2011 by Laura Corin

[kalanamak]

I understand what march of dimes says but, frankly, I've been told during two different pregnancies (two different doctors) that a glass of wine every once in a while wasn't a problem. Both are highly respected OBs.

 

The MOD article sites studies, but unless you track them down you don't know if the 14 year olds with smaller heads was a group of 8 with a cohort heavy in Albanians (bigger heads) as controls.

[zaichiki]

Absolutely not. That would have been rude rude rude beyond belief and would not have changed her behavior. She smokes because she's addicted, and shaming her and publicly humiliating her would not end her addiction or do anything for her baby.

 

 

:iagree:

If this was a close family member, I'd keep after them to put in the work of quitting for the child's sake... but it's different when it's family. They know you LOVE them. (And of course, it's all in how you say it.)

[danybug]

I would not have said anything, unless a conversation regarding it came up. If someone else brought it up then I would definitely speak up and agree with them. Outside of that I would not feel like it was my place being it was not my family member.

[Melissa in Australia]

So - Thanksgiving yesterday... two people I do not know well who are very close friends with the hosts... The woman is 6 months pregnant - and went outside to smoke 4 times while I was there. Host is a doctor. Pregnant mom speaks 5 languages and is a high paid corporate threat assessment analyst. Everyone there has (at a minimum) a graduate degree...

I'm not saying educated people don't make bad choices - but I assume they all know smoking is bad, and horrible for the baby.

I didn't comment a) out of respect for the host, and b) because I figured everyone there already knew it was wrong....

So - what would you have done?? I feel like there is some sort of moral responsibility to that baby, and that maybe I made the wrong choice....

 

I really hope we can be civil. Actually, quick "yes" or "no" poll answers would be great :) I am sure there are many who think that 3 or 4 cigarettes are less harmful to a baby than walking around LA - and I get that... So - no pointing fingers and being nasty :)

 

Poll to follow

I might have asked her if she was trying for a small baby, if she replied with a huh?? I might have replied that it is known that smoking stunts in utero babies growth.

[Lizzie in Ma]

As bad is smoking is, it is addictive, and head knowledge will have little effect on changing behavior. There is also a possibility she uses it as stress reliever / coping behavior, so there could be an emotional element as well.

 

For many years it was my ONLY coping skill. I started at 13 and it was my comfort, my crutch and I mourned when I quit 5 years ago. Seriously, it was like loosing my best friend.

I wouldn't come down on anyone about it, ever.

[Guest chrischem]

My mother was a chain smoker during her entire life. She later died from metastatic lung cancer:(

While she was pregnant with my sister, now 47, me, now 41, and my brother, now 35 she never quit or even cut down. We were all born with normal healthy weights and have been relatively healthy all of our lives. I'm not condoning smoking but I think people put too much emphasis on the risk factors to the baby. I've done a lot of reading in scientific journals and have found that smoking has little to no effect on the fetus yet drinking and taking in illegal or most prescription drugs is more adversive.

Her smoking is disagreeable but it isn't as horrible as people make it out to be. Her smoking is worst for her and to those around her.

By the way, I do not smoke nor have I ever been a smoker.

[SailorMom]

Thank you for all of your replies :)

I feel a bit better that most people would have refrained from saying something as well.....

It is hard, though.... I don't say anything to other adults who smoke - as long as they don't do it nearby (but that is just because I can't stand the smell!), but when a baby is involved.... ya know - where does that line fall?

I also think we (as a society) hear that something is bad for your health - and it becomes not only bad but downright evil. I think the only reason the March of Dimes hasn't come out and told pregnant women to move away from the pollution in cities is that it is entirely impractical.

Lastly, many, many people slightly older than me were born in a time when smoking and drinking during pregnancy were acceptable... most of us are ok, I suppose....

[1GirlTwinBoys]

Feel good that you didn't say anything. It's not like if you did say something she is suddenly going to agree and realize you're right and stop smoking. :) Her business, her body, her baby. Others have to respect that.

[black_midori]

I might have considered mentioning how well the smoking stick thing worked out for people I know (as a stop-smoking tool!).

[cin]

It's the FOUR TIMES... IN FRONT OF OTHERS that's really getting me... was it a cry for help? I mean, what the heck?

 

I was thinking that it might have been a stressful situation for her so she was smoking; she may not be smoking quite as much at home. And while it may not have appeared to be stressful, well, when your pregnant everything appears different. So I've heard ;)

[kiana]

Nope.

 

She knows.

[kandty]

I answered yes, but I want to say that I know she already know what she is doing is wrong. I would offer support and encourgement to stop smoking. I couldn't just not say anything because that would be a sin, the same as she is doing (harming a child). The bible says we are to let others know when they are sinning, otherwise we are sinning to. (Don't ask me where at in the bible, but this was a reading at church not too long ago.) Of course I wouldn't be judgemental as this is why I would offer support and encourgement to stop. I would have had the conversation in private too.

If you disagree, don't bother to post as I don't have time to come back and read any responses.

[KarenC]

But, there's no way that I would say anything unless specifically asked.

 

Karen

[ThatCyndiGirl]

If you disagree, don't bother to post as I don't have time to come back and read any responses.

 

:lol: A drive-by reply!

 

(But, if someone doesn't tell you that you are wrong then THEY would be sinning, too!)

Edited November 26, 2011 by ThatCyndiGirl

[SKL]

I agree that while smoking is far from ideal, it is not the worst thing that can happen to a baby. I know a woman with four ridiculously healthy kids, and she's never stopped smoking, whether she's pregnant, blowing in their faces, whatever.

 

But mostly it would be beyond rude to bring that up to anyone you weren't on very close terms with (and certainly not in front of others). That would ruin the evening for everyone involved. And it would be more likely to cause the mom to smoke more, not less, in my opinion. There are other ways to positively promote healthy pregnancies.

[Bluegoat]

I'm sorry, I don't. My friend, who is a nurse in the maternity ward was telling me about these new studies. This was a number of years ago though and I thought there were public education campaigns about this issue. March of dimes says no amount of alcohol is safe during pregnancy:

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/alcohol_indepth.html

 

This is the line North American drs and "experts" give their patients. Interestingly enough, the rest of the world doesn't interpret those studies the same way.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

But four times! You would think she would at least feel embarrassed or something and try to hide it/cut back.

She could be cutting back by smoking small amounts (not the whole thing) often.

[Lovedtodeath]

:lol: A drive-by reply!

 

(But, if someone doesn't tell you that you are wrong then THEY would be sinning, too!)

;)

[Lovedtodeath]

The Bible also says that there is a time to be silent and a time to speak. We are also to follow Jesus' example I don't recall Jesus telling people of their every sin, especially if they already knew it.

 

As for telling people that they are sinning... someone would have to convince me. 1 John 2:27

[Bluegoat]

My mother was a chain smoker during her entire life. She later died from metastatic lung cancer:(

While she was pregnant with my sister, now 47, me, now 41, and my brother, now 35 she never quit or even cut down. We were all born with normal healthy weights and have been relatively healthy all of our lives. I'm not condoning smoking but I think people put too much emphasis on the risk factors to the baby. I've done a lot of reading in scientific journals and have found that smoking has little to no effect on the fetus yet drinking and taking in illegal or most prescription drugs is more adversive.

Her smoking is disagreeable but it isn't as horrible as people make it out to be. Her smoking is worst for her and to those around her.

By the way, I do not smoke nor have I ever been a smoker.

 

:iagree:

I don't think smoking is great, but I also think people tend to imagine the risks are a lot greater than they really are.

 

I mean, my mom smoked, and I turned out ok. Right?:tongue_smilie:

 

Smoking is a serious addiction - I know several addicts who say it is among the worst, even more so than heroin and similar drugs. People do their best. It would be one thing to say something to a friend, but someone you don't know is totally inappropriate.

[kalanamak]

This is the line North American drs and "experts" give their patients. Interestingly enough, the rest of the world doesn't interpret those studies the same way.

 

 

Baby comes out with both eyes on one side of head. Lawyer looks over file. "But no study has proven alcohol safe! Law suit, here we come!" I find it tedious rather than interesting.

[Bluegoat]

Baby comes out with both eyes on one side of head. Lawyer looks over file. "But no study has proven alcohol safe! Law suit, here we come!" I find it tedious rather than interesting.

 

I read this and thought - aren't we supposed to have our eyes on the same side?!:D

[CAMom]

:lol: A drive-by reply!

 

(But, if someone doesn't tell you that you are wrong then THEY would be sinning, too!)

 

:lol:

 

Frankly, I want to know which "proof text" she's referring to. PP, I think it would be more responsible to actually quote the verse if you're using it as a way to accuse someone of sin.:) I know you're not coming back but I had to say it anyway. I'm sure you understand.;)

[kalanamak]

I answered yes, but I want to say that I know she already know what she is doing is wrong. I would offer support and encourgement to stop smoking. I couldn't just not say anything because that would be a sin, the same as she is doing (harming a child). The bible says we are to let others know when they are sinning, otherwise we are sinning to. (Don't ask me where at in the bible, but this was a reading at church not too long ago.) Of course I wouldn't be judgemental as this is why I would offer support and encourgement to stop. I would have had the conversation in private too.

If you disagree, don't bother to post as I don't have time to come back and read any responses.

 

I think "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" is more famous than your "somewhere in the bible" quote. I win! :sneaky2:

[bettyandbob]

I would not have said anything...but I would have been the Dirty Look Quuen! :glare:

 

YUCK!!! and STUPID. I am good at dirty looks....she would know just what I was thinking.

 

Faithe

 

 

Both you and the pregnant woman are guests in someone else's house. I don't know of any host who invites her friends over to be either admonished or glared at by her other friends.

 

The woman knows. She probably gets a lecture at each prenatal visit (I had a coworker who smoked through pregnancy and she said all the lectures made her stressed and want to smoke more). She went outside, so she did not subject other guests or the host's home to the smoke.

 

The only thing glaring would serve to do is another form of rudeness.

 

She probably went out 4 times because she was stressed thinking about whether others were judging her. She's addicted. Like a pp said she probably uses it to control anxiety.

[Cassy]

I'm a little mystified about the idea that confronting this woman would be rude. I have been to many, many parties and dinner parties over the years with very well-to-do middle and upper-middle class folk who pride themselves on their manners, but who will engage in very heated debates about all sorts of 'sensitive', 'controversial' matters. It's all part of the fun :tongue_smilie:. I've been taken to task about all sorts of things at otherwise highly civilised social functions, eg anti-fox-hunting sympathies, child-discipline, etc. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

[bettyandbob]

[QUOTE=Cassy;3357611]I'm a little mystified about the idea that confronting this woman would be rude. I have been to many, many parties and dinner parties over the years with very well-to-do middle and upper-middle class folk who pride themselves on their manners, but who will engage in very heated debates about all sorts of 'sensitive', 'controversial' matters. It's all part of the fun :tongue_smilie:. I've been taken to task about all sorts of things at otherwise highly civilised social functions, eg anti-fox-hunting sympathies, child-discipline, etc. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

 

I don't think taking a position on fox hunting and telling someone her behavior is hurting her child (when she already knows it) are the same kind of "fun" party discussions.

[Cassy]

[QUOTE=Cassy;3357611]I'm a little mystified about the idea that confronting this woman would be rude. I have been to many, many parties and dinner parties over the years with very well-to-do middle and upper-middle class folk who pride themselves on their manners, but who will engage in very heated debates about all sorts of 'sensitive', 'controversial' matters. It's all part of the fun :tongue_smilie:. I've been taken to task about all sorts of things at otherwise highly civilised social functions, eg anti-fox-hunting sympathies, child-discipline, etc. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

 

I don't think taking a position on fox hunting and telling someone her behavior is hurting her child (when she already knows it) are the same kind of "fun" party discussions.

 

I didn't mean 'fun' in the sense of "let's all have a happy time". Discussing difficult subjects, and finding out people's position on them, can be intellectually stimulating and help you get to know someone better, done in a relatively intelligent, sensitive manner.

[bettyandbob]

 

 

I didn't mean 'fun' in the sense of "let's all have a happy time". Discussing difficult subjects, and finding out people's position on them, can be intellectually stimulating and help you get to know someone better, done in a relatively intelligent, sensitive manner.

 

[/color]

 

I know what you meant. But telling someone what's wrong with the behavior she's doing right now has a different emotional charge and than fox hunting. You may not be saying "YOU ARE KILLING YOUR BABY", but that's likely what she and anyone else at the dinner party will hear. Other possible controversial topics do not have the emotional jab. Perhaps some people want to make an emotional jab at this woman, but I think that would drive her to smoke another cigarette and I don't the hostess invited her to spark lively controversial conversation.

[Cassy]

 

 

I know what you meant. But telling someone what's wrong with the behavior she's doing right now has a different emotional charge and than fox hunting. You may not be saying "YOU ARE KILLING YOUR BABY", but that's likely what she and anyone else at the dinner party will hear. Other possible controversial topics do not have the emotional jab. Perhaps some people want to make an emotional jab at this woman, but I think that would drive her to smoke another cigarette and I don't the hostess invited her to spark lively controversial conversation.

 

But people wouldn't be necessarily making "an emotional jab" at her. They would be truly interested. If she was uncomfortable, upset by the discussion, then it would be dropped and turned around to something she was comfortable with. But it wouldn't be completely ignored, it wouldn't be the elephant in the sitting room.

 

I do think it is cultural. Here there is enough of a 'socialist' culture for us to feel that your business truly is my business. What you do to yourself, your unborn child, affects us all. My taxes pay the NHS to deal with any health issues caused by smoking, and smoking in pregnancy, just one example of many.

 

No-one would want to cause a scene, but no-one would pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was going on either, that just seems dishonest.

[Bluegoat]

But people wouldn't be necessarily making "an emotional jab" at her. They would be truly interested. If she was uncomfortable, upset by the discussion, then it would be dropped and turned around to something she was comfortable with. But it wouldn't be completely ignored, it wouldn't be the elephant in the sitting room.

 

I do think it is cultural. Here there is enough of a 'socialist' culture for us to feel that your business truly is my business. What you do to yourself, your unborn child, affects us all. My taxes pay the NHS to deal with any health issues caused by smoking, and smoking in pregnancy, just one example of many.

 

No-one would want to cause a scene, but no-one would pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was going on either, that just seems dishonest.

 

Think of it this way. She probably isn't going to "defend" her position, because she probably agrees that it is bad. What is going to happen is she is going to feel like an evil mother and want to cry, or she might actually cry.

 

This is not like asking someone what they think of prohibition. It is asking them why they are so pathetic/selfish they aren't off the bottle yet themselves.

[Cassy]

Think of it this way. She probably isn't going to "defend" her position, because she probably agrees that it is bad. What is going to happen is she is going to feel like an evil mother and want to cry, or she might actually cry.

 

This is not like asking someone what they think of prohibition. It is asking them why they are so pathetic/selfish they aren't off the bottle yet themselves.

 

Is it really? You're obviously not as tactful as I am.

[kandty]

I know I said I wasn't coming back, but hey, I can some unexpected free time. ;) I wanted to quote my own first reply because there were a few who read it and didn't understand. The OP asked for opinions and I gave it.

I answered yes, but I want to say that I know she already know what she is doing is wrong. I would offer support and encourgement to stop smoking. I couldn't just not say anything because that would be a sin, the same as she is doing (harming a child). The bible says we are to let others know when they are sinning, otherwise we are sinning to. (Don't ask me where at in the bible, but this was a reading at church not too long ago.) Of course I wouldn't be judgemental as this is why I would offer support and encourgement to stop. I would have had the conversation in private too.

If you disagree, don't bother to post as I don't have time to come back and read any responses.

 

:lol: A drive-by reply!

 

(But, if someone doesn't tell you that you are wrong then THEY would be sinning, too!)

 

When is offering someone help and support a sin?

 

I think "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" is more famous than your "somewhere in the bible" quote. I win! :sneaky2:

 

Nor did I say I would tell the person they were sinning. I said I would offer help. Nor did I say I was sinless in my original post.

 

I love a good discussion, but please read carefully before posting. You can't tell me I am wrong on something that was never said.

[kalanamak]

Nor did I say I would tell the person they were sinning. I said I would offer help. Nor did I say I was sinless in my original post.

 

You were going to cast a stone. Someone much more important to you than to me has made mention about not casting the first stone.

 

But really, I was just making light of your closing remark. Such comments are infra dig here, and I can't think of a better way to GET are reply than to say "don't reply if you disagree".

[kalanamak]

 

No-one would want to cause a scene, but no-one would pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was going on either, that just seems dishonest.

 

Smoking while pregnant is rather ordinary, actually. I have known VERY few smokers who give up for pregnancy. There are millions and millions of smokers in the world. What is out of the ordinary?

[SailorMom]

Smoking while pregnant is rather ordinary, actually. I have known VERY few smokers who give up for pregnancy. There are millions and millions of smokers in the world. What is out of the ordinary?

 

Maybe they just hide it better ;)

[kandty]

You were going to cast a stone. Someone much more important to you than to me has made mention about not casting the first stone.

 

But really, I was just making light of your closing remark. Such comments are infra dig here, and I can't think of a better way to GET are reply than to say "don't reply if you disagree".

 

When is offering someone support and help casting a stone??

 

To the bolded part. :iagree: I am still learning how this message board works. I will insert foot into mouth for my closing remark, but only that one. :D

[silliness7]

:lol: A drive-by reply!

 

(But, if someone doesn't tell you that you are wrong then THEY would be sinning, too!)

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[kalanamak]

When is offering someone support and help casting a stone??

 

 

Unless you know someone very well, having a little private chat with them about harming their unborn child will not be seen as support, but criticism. My mother would have called it "having a lot of gall".

[CAMom]

When is offering someone support and help casting a stone??

 

To the bolded part. :iagree: I am still learning how this message board works. I will insert foot into mouth for my closing remark, but only that one. :D

 

Well you said you wouldn't be "judgmental" and that you would offer "support" but you also said you thought it was your responsibility to tell someone else when they were sinning.:confused:

 

I would really, really be curious as to which passage you are referring to? I'm wondering what the context is.

[silliness7]

I answered yes, but I want to say that I know she already know what she is doing is wrong. I would offer support and encourgement to stop smoking. I couldn't just not say anything because that would be a sin, the same as she is doing (harming a child). The bible says we are to let others know when they are sinning, otherwise we are sinning to. (Don't ask me where at in the bible, but this was a reading at church not too long ago.) Of course I wouldn't be judgemental as this is why I would offer support and encourgement to stop. I would have had the conversation in private too.

If you disagree, don't bother to post as I don't have time to come back and read any responses.

 

 

 

I would venture to guess that you misunderstood the reading at your church. I have never heard of such a thing. It's unfortunate that you don't have a reference for us.

[Lovedtodeath]

I really don't understand why it seems so important to tell others that they are sinning. I don't have a glaring addiction or unusual sexual orientation and I managed to figure out that I am a sinner, but if someone does have these more obvious "sins" we need to point them out? Can't they figure that out on their own? Why is it my business? Some people think that +++ is a sin, others think that not +++ is a sin. I made my own decision based on my personal relationship with God and I don't appreciate others interjecting their opinions on the matter. I will assume that the addict and the homosexual can and will do the same. And, btw, I have fits of anger. I have asked for for forgiveness and healing, but I still struggle at times. Others struggle with addiction. I don't see the difference. I see no need to point out their sin. Let God do that.

Edited November 27, 2011 by Lovedtodeath

[Caribbean Queen]

I really don't understand why it seems so important to tell others that they are sinning. I don't have a glaring addiction or unusual sexual orientation and I managed to figure out that I am a sinner, but if someone does have these more obvious "sins" we need to point them out? Can't they figure that out on their own? Why is it my business? Some people think that +++ is a sin, others think that not +++ is a sin. I made my own decision based on my personal relationship with God and I don't appreciate others interjecting their opinions on the matter. I will assume that the addict and the homosexual can and will do the same. And, btw, I have fits of anger. I have asked for for forgiveness and healing, but I still struggle at times. Others struggle with addiction. I don't see the difference. I see no need to point out their sin. Let God do that.

 

There are no Bible verses that mention smoking.

There are some verses about drunkeness and I think they relate to what the PP was saying. The way I see it, the Bible does not support this idea that Christians should mind their own business, and not judge each other, or even mention each other's sin to each other. The Bible says something very different. I interpret the Bible verses quoted below to mean.

 

1. Drunkeness is a sin.

 

2. Drunkards are not Christians

 

3. Drunkards won’t go to heaven.

 

4. Christians should not associate with drunkards. Drunkards should be “disfellowshipped†or “excommunicated†from the church.

 

5. Christians should judge other Christians to see if they should be kicked out of the church. (verse 12 of 1 Corinithians chapter 5)

 

6. That doesn’t mean Christians need to judge unbelievers.

 

7. Kicking sinners out of the church should make them feel ashamed. (II Thessalonians)

 

8. Christians should warn other Christians when they see them sinning.

 

Here are the supporting verses

Galatians 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

 

I Corinthians 5

1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. …

9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister[c] but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.â€[d]

 

II Thessalonians 3

6 In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching[a] you received from us. …

14 Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. 15 Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.

[Shelly in IL]

And I paraphrase...before you comment on the splinter in your neighbor's eye, first remove the plank in your own? Seems that that might be saying to only comment on their sinning, when you are sure that all your sins are removed.

[Alison in KY]

Is it possible that she was using some of those smokeless cigarettes? I saw a young lady I know smoking outside a local store and I felt so bad. I mentioned it to a mutual friend and she told me they were the cigs you use when you are trying to quit.

 

Honestly, I would've had a hard time containing my emotions around that. I would probably even ask if she's ever heard of the new smokeless cigs...to hint and try to start a conversation that way.

 

Alison

[Caribbean Queen]

And I paraphrase...before you comment on the splinter in your neighbor's eye, first remove the plank in your own? Seems that that might be saying to only comment on their sinning, when you are sure that all your sins are removed.

 

Christians can't have planks in their eyes. If a person wants to be a Christian he must repent, which is casting away the plank from his eye. Once a man is a Christian, his plank is gone, so he can see clearly to cast the mote out of his brother's eye.

 

Matthew 7:5

Thou hyocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

[Trish]

So - Thanksgiving yesterday... two people I do not know well who are very close friends with the hosts... The woman is 6 months pregnant - and went outside to smoke 4 times while I was there. Host is a doctor. Pregnant mom speaks 5 languages and is a high paid corporate threat assessment analyst. Everyone there has (at a minimum) a graduate degree...

I'm not saying educated people don't make bad choices - but I assume they all know smoking is bad, and horrible for the baby.

I didn't comment a) out of respect for the host, and b) because I figured everyone there already knew it was wrong....

So - what would you have done?? I feel like there is some sort of moral responsibility to that baby, and that maybe I made the wrong choice....

 

I really hope we can be civil. Actually, quick "yes" or "no" poll answers would be great :) I am sure there are many who think that 3 or 4 cigarettes are less harmful to a baby than walking around LA - and I get that... So - no pointing fingers and being nasty :)

 

Poll to follow

 

Highly educated people do have addictions. You could say, her Corporate Threat Assessment skills are more highly developed than her Personal Threat Assessment ones. Yeah, it's too bad, but my mom smoked. She didn't quit until the next baby (in the 70s). It's probably not as bad as pounding down the drinks while pregnant.

 

I'm glad you followed your instinct not to say anything.

 

There are probably pregnant people who talk on cell phones while driving, too.