Dd is traumatized ... (sensitive info - don't open if you don't want to get bummed)

[dirty ethel rackham]

UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM.

As am I and my two boys. We went to walk dogs at the shelter where dd and I volunteer. They are often short walkers on Thanksgiving so we said we would help out. All was going well for a while. Then, about 20 minutes before our shift ended, dd and my oldest son took one dog out - a small Yorkie, while I took out a dog that is known to be a handful - a powerful cattle dog mix. I had experience with him, so I was not concerned. As my other son and I were exiting the building with the cattle dog, the Yorkie was just outside that door and the cattle dog attacked the little dog. It took two staff members and myself over 5 harrowing minutes to get them apart. It was a bloody, violent scene. I grabbed the poor Yorkie and ran inside with him, barricading ourselves in the treatment room and let the staff people deal the cattle dog. The Yorkie seems like he will be ok - a couple puncture wounds, but he was walking and prancing normally so I doubt the injuries are life-threatening. All the while the one staff member was screaming "Who let these dogs get too close together?!" peppered with expletives, etc. I know she was extremely stressed, as this was a dangerous situation and horrifying situation.

 

But, dd is heartbroken. She was the one who let the Yorkie get too close to the door we were exiting, which was not the door this Yorkie was supposed to be using. They have rules about which door the dogs use to minimize contact. I feel terrible because she had asked me to go with her instead of my oldest son, who is not a regular volunteer, but I knew that there were dogs that had not been out yet, so I put her off. I figured that since the dog she was walking was very gentle and that she was an experienced volunteer, it would be OK. But, it was still against the rules. I am the adult sponsor and I should have been with her.

 

In her defense, there are other dogs that ARE supposed to use the door in question that could have been attacked as well. We are all just sick about what we have seen. Dd and I are heartbroken that cattle dog will probably be put down (the shelter does not put dogs down except for aggression or severe illness.) I know it will probably be for the best as we can never trust this dog again and better it happened there than after he had been adopted. But the whole situation just sucks. I am afraid dd will not want to volunteer there again. The thought of going back makes me a little queasy too. I don't want to renege on our commitment, but ... sigh.

 

UPDATE:

Yesterday, I had talked on the phone with the staff member who was freaking out while working with me to get the dogs separated. She apologized again for her reaction and for scaring my kids. I reiterated the we understood that it was a heat of the moment thing and we were not upset with her. She also made it clear that she did not think the incident was our fault, that it appears that this was a ticking time bomb waiting to happen.

 

Dd and I went back to the shelter to talk with one of the head animal care staff there. She again reiterated that it wasn't our fault, that some dogs do just snap. She explained that some dogs are driven mad by the shelter environment and start to develop aggression issues if they are there too long. This dog, being a blue heeler/cattle dog, seemed to be particularly stressed and frustrated by this environment. They had redone temperament testing on him and he seemed ok - he demonstrated behaviors that they interpreted to be herding behaviors since that was his breed, but could have been the beginnings signs of aggression. They regret not putting a "staff only" designation on this dog since they did have concerns. She also encouraged us to take our time and only do what we feel comfortable. If that means only socializing the dogs and not walking them for a while, they are happy with that. She also encouraged me to listen to my gut and not walk the bigger dogs if I am uncomfortable. I had been overriding my gut, trying to follow their directions to not discriminate against breeds. I was naive in discerning my ability to control some of the bigger dogs, having chronic ankle injury and a lingering finger injury.

 

We discussed that we need to make sure that the volunteers are especially careful when entering and exiting because there is no window. I do wonder if they could get some sort of warning light system to let people outside coming in know that another dog is coming out. Maybe one of my sons could design it.

 

Later, dd and I went back to say "hi" to the dogs. We did see the little Yorkie. He is back from the vet after having surgery. Since he was shaved, we could see how extensive his injuries were - worse than I thought. But, what a little fighter! He walked around like he hadn't a care in the world despite his "cone of shame" and the drains coming out of his body. Although dd really didn't want to go back today, she seems better about going back in 2 weeks when we are on the schedule again. I feel much better about the situation.

Edited November 27, 2011 by dirty ethel rackham
UPDATE

[cindergretta]

:grouphug: So sorry for you guys. :( What a crappy day. :grouphug:

[LaxMom]

I'm so sorry. :(

[Bang!Zoom!]

E, my daughter is a vet tech. In the beginning of her training she encountered things like this and more...I can only tell you that with time comes the calming.

 

Do you feel that the manner it was handled could have been better..and I'm talking the aggressive speech, or do you feel that was just a natural behavior because of the situation?

 

In the case of my dd during her early years, there were a zillion traumatic events, one after the other, and there's a learning that occurs then, how to process and not internalize it so deeply.

 

For her, it's always been a case of getting back on the horse right away; I don't know if this event is going to be big enough to end your involvement or not, but do know I empathize with you deeply as a mom.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Poor kid. That would freak me out, too and make me feel bad. Maybe some time away from the situation will help?

[LauraGB]

:grouphug: How awful. Poor dd. What a horrible thing to experience. :grouphug:

[Twigs]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[dirty ethel rackham]

Thanks for your support. It means so much to me after this harrowing experience.

 

One* ... Thanks for your perspective. I really don't have an issue with the staff member. She did apologize for losing it. She had experienced a harrowing experience earlier in the week and was still a little raw. Could she have handled it differently? Absolutely. However, I think her reaction in that situation was totally understandable. That little dog could have died. We felt so helpless. It was dangerous for us as well.

 

We are not scheduled to be back at the shelter for 2 weeks, so I think that will be time for us to mend our own psyches and get back to our job. I think we will have a discussion with the volunteer coordinator about this and ask for her suggestions. We are just so raw right now.

 

I was just about to chastise our dog about something ( who we got from this shelter.) I started saying that he was not my favorite dog right now (he has been rather mischievous the last couple days) but I stopped myself, realizing that he really is my favorite dog.

[elegantlion]

E, my daughter is a vet tech. In the beginning of her training she encountered things like this and more...I can only tell you that with time comes the calming.

 

Do you feel that the manner it was handled could have been better..and I'm talking the aggressive speech, or do you feel that was just a natural behavior because of the situation?

 

In the case of my dd during her early years, there were a zillion traumatic events, one after the other, and there's a learning that occurs then, how to process and not internalize it so deeply.

 

For her, it's always been a case of getting back on the horse right away; I don't know if this event is going to be big enough to end your involvement or not, but do know I empathize with you deeply as a mom.

 

:iagree: I worked for a vet for 5 years. I saw some situations like that. I think the speech was a natural outburst from the stress of the situation, personally I would call it heat of the moment.

 

I would encourage her to go volunteer again, as soon as possible. I could share some stories of how I messed up and ended with some scars as I tried to make it right.

 

Aggressive dogs are hard. As much as I hate to say it some wouldn't make good pets for anyone. I'm glad the Yorkie will be all right, they are tenacious little creatures. I would even ask if she could volunteer and help care for the Yorkie, if she's up to it.

 

We all make mistakes. :grouphug: :grouphug: When someone (something) gets hurt because of it, it hurts even worse.

[Sahamamama]

Thanks for your support. It means so much to me after this harrowing experience.

 

One* ... Thanks for your perspective. I really don't have an issue with the staff member. She did apologize for losing it. She had experienced a harrowing experience earlier in the week and was still a little raw. Could she have handled it differently? Absolutely. However, I think her reaction in that situation was totally understandable. That little dog could have died. We felt so helpless. It was dangerous for us as well.

 

We are not scheduled to be back at the shelter for 2 weeks, so I think that will be time for us to mend our own psyches and get back to our job. I think we will have a discussion with the volunteer coordinator about this and ask for her suggestions. We are just so raw right now.

 

I was just about to chastise our dog about something ( who we got from this shelter.) I started saying that he was not my favorite dog right now (he has been rather mischievous the last couple days) but I stopped myself, realizing that he really is my favorite dog.

 

FWIW, I would go back sooner than two weeks. I would go back ASAP, even before you are scheduled to work -- tomorrow. If you could call the VC to set up a debriefing, that might help to take the sting out of it.

 

Eleven is a tender age for dealing with something like that, but depending on the person it isn't too early to begin seeing the non-rosy side of life -- expletives, explosions, emotions, and vicious dogs, and all.

 

I do think it would help your daughter for someone in authority at the shelter to tell your daughter that she is a WANTED and VALUABLE member of the team -- your daughter NEEDS to hear this right now. We all have so much to learn, at every stage of life, how much more at age eleven! Try to get someone at the shelter to acknowledge and express appreciation for the contribution your daughter has made -- IOW, to recognize that she was trying to do something good, but made a mistake. It happens, it's a part of life, we all do it, and sometimes there are awful consequences.

 

This is a learning experience, part of what you're doing this for, right? Jump back in and grow from it. HTH. :grouphug:

[ktgrok]

I'm a vet tech as well, and I hope your daughter realizes that this is NOT her fault. That this dog would have attacked a dog sooner or later. If it wasn't that one it would have been another one. And thank heavens it happend when both dogs were on leash and you were able to separate them. The yorkie will be fine it seems, and now they know the other dog is dog aggressive. It was awful, but better now than later.

[Chris in VA]

:grouphug:

 

I was walking two dogs on my route a couple of weeks ago, and I let a child get too close--one of the dogs bit the little boy. Felt terrible! It ruined my day. Little boy will be fine, but oh my, it was such a lapse in judgement on my part. I didn't even want to go to work the next day, but wisely, my trainer/boss put me right back on the horse, er, dog. :001_smile: Thankfully, the child has dogs at home and is not afraid of them. He's been bitten lightly by them, apparently, according to his mom.

 

Mistakes happen. It's good for her to know. And, I can't help agreeing that it is so good that people realize now about the cattle dog's aggression. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Joy at Home]

:grouphug: Ellen, what a rough experience. I'm sure dd was so upset:grouphug:

 

I agree the sooner you go back the better. You guys are doing a great thing helping there, and it's just a sucky thing that happened. Poor baby.

 

Lisa

[jenL]

What a frightening experience, but one that is more common than we'd like to recognize sometimes.

 

I'm sorry that you both had to witness it. :grouphug:

[Hedgehog]

:grouphug: I'm sorry. It's tough for a kid - she's 11, right? - to see something like that. But hopefully before too long you can see it as helpful experience in the long term.

[Swimtaxi234]

FWIW, I would go back sooner than two weeks. I would go back ASAP, even before you are scheduled to work -- tomorrow. If you could call the VC to set up a debriefing, that might help to take the sting out of it.

 

Eleven is a tender age for dealing with something like that, but depending on the person it isn't too early to begin seeing the non-rosy side of life -- expletives, explosions, emotions, and vicious dogs, and all.

 

I do think it would help your daughter for someone in authority at the shelter to tell your daughter that she is a WANTED and VALUABLE member of the team -- your daughter NEEDS to hear this right now. We all have so much to learn, at every stage of life, how much more at age eleven! Try to get someone at the shelter to acknowledge and express appreciation for the contribution your daughter has made -- IOW, to recognize that she was trying to do something good, but made a mistake. It happens, it's a part of life, we all do it, and sometimes there are awful consequences.

 

This is a learning experience, part of what you're doing this for, right? Jump back in and grow from it. HTH

 

:iagree:

[QuirkyKidAcademy]

(((hugs))) to DD and you

[MariannNOVA]

I am so sorry -- :grouphug::grouphug:

[Hoggirl]

FWIW, I would go back sooner than two weeks. I would go back ASAP, even before you are scheduled to work -- tomorrow. If you could call the VC to set up a debriefing, that might help to take the sting out of it.

 

Eleven is a tender age for dealing with something like that, but depending on the person it isn't too early to begin seeing the non-rosy side of life -- expletives, explosions, emotions, and vicious dogs, and all.

 

I do think it would help your daughter for someone in authority at the shelter to tell your daughter that she is a WANTED and VALUABLE member of the team -- your daughter NEEDS to hear this right now. We all have so much to learn, at every stage of life, how much more at age eleven! Try to get someone at the shelter to acknowledge and express appreciation for the contribution your daughter has made -- IOW, to recognize that she was trying to do something good, but made a mistake. It happens, it's a part of life, we all do it, and sometimes there are awful consequences.

 

This is a learning experience, part of what you're doing this for, right? Jump back in and grow from it. HTH. :grouphug:

 

 

:iagree: And :grouphug::grouphug: to you.

[Jennifer3141]

:grouphug::grouphug: to all of you!!! I'm so glad the Yorkie's injuries weren't worse. What will happen to the other dog now??

[justasque]

Sort of off-topic, but a nice book right now might be E. Nesbit's The Wouldbegoods. As one Amazon reviewer says, " in their attempts to perform good deeds the six Bastable children and their two friends wreck havoc across the British countryside. Yet in the end they do manage to do good, quite by accident."

There's a free .mp3 version at Librivox; you could listen together. It's light and fun and a good book for that age.

 

All we can do is our best, and we can only learn if we try things, even when they go badly despite our best efforts. As you said, the one dog may have been aggressive in a worse situation had it not been for this one; while the probable outcome here is sad, who knows what additional tragedy may have been avoided.

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[Margo out of lurking]

As am I and my two boys. We went to walk dogs at the shelter where dd and I volunteer. They are often short walkers on Thanksgiving so we said we would help out. All was going well for a while. Then, about 20 minutes before our shift ended, dd and my oldest son took one dog out - a small Yorkie, while I took out a dog that is known to be a handful - a powerful cattle dog mix. I had experience with him, so I was not concerned. As my other son and I were exiting the building with the cattle dog, the Yorkie was just outside that door and the cattle dog attacked the little dog. It took two staff members and myself over 5 harrowing minutes to get them apart. It was a bloody, violent scene. I grabbed the poor Yorkie and ran inside with him, barricading ourselves in the treatment room and let the staff people deal the cattle dog. The Yorkie seems like he will be ok - a couple puncture wounds, but he was walking and prancing normally so I doubt the injuries are life-threatening. All the while the one staff member was screaming "Who let these dogs get too close together?!" peppered with expletives, etc. I know she was extremely stressed, as this was a dangerous situation and horrifying situation.

 

But, dd is heartbroken. She was the one who let the Yorkie get too close to the door we were exiting, which was not the door this Yorkie was supposed to be using. They have rules about which door the dogs use to minimize contact. I feel terrible because she had asked me to go with her instead of my oldest son, who is not a regular volunteer, but I knew that there were dogs that had not been out yet, so I put her off. I figured that since the dog she was walking was very gentle and that she was an experienced volunteer, it would be OK. But, it was still against the rules. I am the adult sponsor and I should have been with her.

 

In her defense, there are other dogs that ARE supposed to use the door in question that could have been attacked as well. We are all just sick about what we have seen. Dd and I are heartbroken that cattle dog will probably be put down (the shelter does not put dogs down except for aggression or severe illness.) I know it will probably be for the best as we can never trust this dog again and better it happened there than after he had been adopted. But the whole situation just sucks. I am afraid dd will not want to volunteer there again. The thought of going back makes me a little queasy too. I don't want to renege on our commitment, but ... sigh.

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Do you think, perhaps, that it might help her if you acknowledge how scary, awful, and sad it was, but also tell her that God might have used this situation to either prevent that dog from hurting a small child, or killing another innocent dog down the road. As a mom, it would also cross my mind that He might use it to remind dd at some point later in her life that unknown animals can't be trusted, thereby protecting her or one of her kids in the future, but I'd not voice that as it might cause dd to fear dogs.

 

The dog's aggression could be something the previous owners knew about but, in a misguided interest to protect the dog, did not share when giving him up.

 

I'm so sorry for your dd that, on top of everything else, she had to hear the employee also yelling about whose fault it was.

 

-------------------

Rereading this, I feel like my imagination is on overactive. I guess I'm trying to find a reason for something that was so traumatizing to your poor dd.

[zaichiki]

:grouphug: What a tough experience!

 

In the end, encourage your dd to look for the silver lining. This was probably going to happen at some point in time. Finding out now may have prevented a future tragedy. I also agree with the pp who said to get back on the horse sooner rather than later... and talk to the volunteer coordinator (encourage them to let your dd know how much she is appreciated and needed).

[tex-mex]

:iagree: I worked for a vet for 5 years. I saw some situations like that. I think the speech was a natural outburst from the stress of the situation, personally I would call it heat of the moment.

 

I would encourage her to go volunteer again, as soon as possible. I could share some stories of how I messed up and ended with some scars as I tried to make it right.

 

Aggressive dogs are hard. As much as I hate to say it some wouldn't make good pets for anyone. I'm glad the Yorkie will be all right, they are tenacious little creatures. I would even ask if she could volunteer and help care for the Yorkie, if she's up to it.

 

We all make mistakes. :grouphug: :grouphug: When someone (something) gets hurt because of it, it hurts even worse.

:iagree:

 

The worst thing you can do is quit volunteering due to one incident. The OP's dd needs to talk to the supervisor, be at peace with what took place, chalk it up to learning experience, and get back on that horse. Sorry this happened to them. :grouphug:

[Willow Creek Academy]

I am so sorry you and DD had to experience this. I think a viewpoint that has been overlooked is that DD didn't follow the rules and that was the cause of the situation. Yes,that dog probably would have attacked another dog, a cat, or a child at some point. We will never know. BUT in this instance your DD, a volunteer, made a mistake that could cost the dog his life. That is a heavy burden for a young child to bear, but it DOES need to be addressed. She may just be too young to be given the responsibility of volunteering in this facility. Glossing over her shirking her duties would be remiss and not teach her a lesson that rules must be followed.

 

I am sorry to be the detractor, here. But I volunteer at a shelter myself and if something like that happened, we may not let the volunteer even come back - in the interest of all concerned.

[QueenCat]

:grouphug::grouphug:Ellen:grouphug::grouphug:,

Many hugs to you and your daughter.

[Natalieclare]

:grouphug::grouphug: Hugs to you and your daughter. I'm so sorry.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Yes, dd should not have had that dog near that door. But, there is lots of other dogs that ARE supposed to use that door including another Yorkie. She fully knows that she has culpability here. She was trying to get the dog away from that door and was about to pick up the dog to move it when we came out. Ultimately, it is MY fault because I am supposed to be with her when she is volunteering. I let my son, who is 18, supervise her, but he is not a trained volunteer. I would not have done that if they weren't so short handed that day. To tell you the truth, it could have happened to me because the little dog really wanted to go to that door. We are taught not to pull or yank on their leashes, but to gently guide them where we want them to go. She was probably extra gentle with this dog, because he was already nursing an injury and was wearing a collar to prevent him from licking his injury (not the cone of shame, but another collar.) This collar probably saved his life because it prevented the big dog from getting him at the neck.

 

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that this was an accident waiting to happen. I keep reviewing the procedures that we follow and I am sure that this would have happened sooner or later. We have no way of knowing if another person/dog is on the other side of the door when we go to use it. There is no window. We don't have a procedure to check. It has never come up.

 

I am feeling less confident in the shelter's determination about which dogs are aggressive and which are not. There are two other dogs at the shelter that I no longer feel confident at walking as they have similar requirements to use a different door than normal for their location because of their behavior as they walk past the other dogs. How much of that behavior is true aggression and how much is posturing? Now I am wary as I walk my own dog. Although he is a big dog, he is very friendly and wants to meet every dog we pass. We don't let him, obviously, but what if we encounter a mean dog who gets away from his owner?