Bullying at school.....this time at elementary school...

[BatmansWife]

A 10-year old girl committed suicide because of being bullied at school. Ten years old??? Her mom was interviewed this morning on the Today Show and she said the bullying started 2 years ago. I have an 8-year old...I can't imagine her being bullied. Just the thought of it breaks my heart. The girl would tell teachers, to try to get help....but they would tell her to sit down, be quiet, and stop being a tattletale. :confused: :glare: The girl asked her mom if she could homeschool, the mom said no, the next day she took her own life.

 

:crying:

[Snickerdoodle]

Here's another girl:

 

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/10390079/

[Mothersweets]

This is horrible. I have a 10yo dd.

 

I can't imagine what the girls must have gone through and how the parents could be so clueless. :confused:

[Murphy101]

I think the young suicide is partly to blame on the constant bully environment mixed with purposely making kids feel helpless.

 

In our day, you were able to leave school at school. You went home and if you didn't want to see another kid from school, then you didn't have to until you went back to class. Now they are pushed to be there in before and after school programs, and then there is FB crap.

 

And in our day, kids were not told they had to passively take that crap. No, the underdog often decided he wasn't going to take it any threw a punch or two himself or maybe did something else. Now, ANY defense is considered intolerable. Tell an adult is the only thing and I think we all knew even when we were kids that sometimes that just doesn't get the job done. Is it right? Nope. Neither is making a kid feel they can't defend themselves.

 

It's just horrible. I don't think the mother was that clueless about it. I just think most moms never imagine their child will kill themselves. It just doesn't bare thinking about. :(

[BatmansWife]

Here's another girl:

 

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/10390079/

 

I hadn't heard about Jasmine. Awww.....precious girl. :crying: It's so sad that these kids feel so helpless they think taking their own life is the only option. It makes you wonder how they even know about suicide at that age...much less how to do it.

[momchiroto2]

I also wonder how they know about suicide at this age. This is so sad :(

[Tammyla]

:crying: Heartbreaking.

 

Bullied children just aren't protected at school; they can tell an adult, but they are pretty much on their own to just deal with it.

[pdalley]

A lot of times if the bullied child reacts they are the one punished - not the bully.

 

We saw with the case of the special needs student whose parents wired her backpack that the administrators accused them of embarrassment and lying and refused to do anything until the recording surfaced. They sure don't do squat when it's kid on kid bullying for all their 'no tolerance' polices and such.

 

I think this is the third case in two weeks of a 10 yr old hanging themselves due to bullying. Very sad and completely preventable. My brother tried to hang himself in the school bathroom in 6th grade years ago due to bullying. Shame nothing has changed in 20 years except to get worse.

[bbkaren]

I also wonder how they know about suicide at this age. This is so sad :(

 

...and how they knew "how to do it". I doubt I could produce a strong enough apparatus even as an adult to do myself much damage. Just seems strange and sad that they're even aware of the methods at that age, and that suicide is an "option".

 

I also think that not being permitted to fight back (even verbally) is part of the problem, as Martha mentioned.

 

In my day, many a bully was put in his/her place by a victim who was permitted to stand his/her ground against the bully. Nowadays that's not an option.

[Murphy101]

I think most 10 year olds know what suicide means? Most of them knew when I was 10. :confused:

 

It's in many books, even at a 10 year old reading level. People dying is on the news. It's in music. It's mentioned in war games. There are plenty of kids in school who have lost a parent or a sibling or some other relative to many things. cancer, drugs, car accident.

 

Most 10 year olds know what murder, abortion, suicide, drunk driving, drug abuse, sexual abuse and so forth is.

 

I'm actually rather shocked people think 10 year olds don't know this stuff.

 

Same goes for how. This is a 10 year old, not a 2 year old. My 10 year old knows the medical shelf is kept safe from little people because it is dangerous and if they got into it, it could kill them to have some of that stuff. Same goes for cleaners. Or wrapping things around their neck/face. They have heard me say not to let the little ones play with the plastic grocery bags or wrap shoe laces around their neck or or ...

 

We give our children warnings every day of their lives. Look both ways before crossing the street so they don't die from being run over. Don't climb that high because the fall could kill you.

 

We do this to keep them safe and the vast majority of the time it does because they want to live! Sadly, when they don't want to live, they aren't going to care much about following safety precautions. :(

[Denisemomof4]

I told the coaches AND their supervisor at swim that I went to get help for my dd numerous times and they never once helped her. I told them kids commit SUICIDE over bullying. They didn't listen.

 

Well, I emailed the entire team about our situation. NOW it's being taken VERY seriously, especially since more mom's are coming forward. I never should have been forced to take such drastic measures to get them to LISTEN to me. They just wanted us to quietly go away so they could sweep everything under the rug. NO WAY. Some teammate's parents were shocked to see what had happened to my dd, others weren't surprised because this isn't the first time this has happened.

 

I think there should be procedures in place for EVERY bullying incident. I think reports should be filed, and there should be a course of action to take NATION WIDE. This is a very, very serious situation. I'm tired of hearing of innocent kids taking their lives and NOBODY steps in and makes changes.

 

What that poor mom has to carry with her the rest of her life has ruined her. She likely is blaming herself for not taking her child out of the school. Her child and her mother, and ALL bullied children, should NEVER have to be the ones to change. Ever.

 

We were told that unless someone comes up and specifically speaks about what they saw with dd, it would be our word against theirs. I understand that, but there's an ongoing pattern of my going to them for help and them doing nothing. SOMETHING must be done!!! My dd is gone, there will be another victim next. That's why I really wish that one mom would speak up but she doesn't want to for fear of retaliation. Something has GOT to change. It's already too late.... too many lives have been destroyed or ended due to bullying.

[Canadianmumof5]

:crying: Heartbreaking.

 

Bullied children just aren't protected at school; they can tell an adult, but they are pretty much on their own to just deal with it.

 

:iagree:

Our DS was in grade 2 when another boy in his class started to bully him. This bully was quite a bit taller and had a good 30-40lb advantage in weight as well. The bully would verbally and physically go after our son and bully any other kids who tried to play with him. The school did nothing. Even after several meetings. The principal didn't want to get involved and had his VP handle it. She told me that "boys will be boys"and that they needed to learn how to become friends :confused: She was mortified that we didn't want our son to try and be friends with him. Umm....yea. It was just one of the many reasons we didn't have a lot of faith in the school.

 

Our house actually backs onto the school yard and I see all kinds of this behaviour every day. Wonderful socialization for the kids. I've called the school several times about some really bad scenes (when my children were still there & one incident actually involved MY CHILD!) and they were very condescending and actually had the nerve to say to me "Really Mrs W, you actually saw this from your window? You just happened to be watching at that exact moment??"

 

Argghhh - just thinking about it makes my blood boil. There is supposed to be zero tolerance at schools but I think that is zero tolerance for the children/parents complaining.

[BatmansWife]

I think most 10 year olds know what suicide means? Most of them knew when I was 10. :confused:

 

It's in many books, even at a 10 year old reading level. People dying is on the news. It's in music. It's mentioned in war games. There are plenty of kids in school who have lost a parent or a sibling or some other relative to many things. cancer, drugs, car accident.

 

Most 10 year olds know what murder, abortion, suicide, drunk driving, drug abuse, sexual abuse and so forth is.

 

I'm actually rather shocked people think 10 year olds don't know this stuff.

 

Same goes for how. This is a 10 year old, not a 2 year old. My 10 year old knows the medical shelf is kept safe from little people because it is dangerous and if they got into it, it could kill them to have some of that stuff. Same goes for cleaners. Or wrapping things around their neck/face. They have heard me say not to let the little ones play with the plastic grocery bags or wrap shoe laces around their neck or or ...

 

We give our children warnings every day of their lives. Look both ways before crossing the street so they don't die from being run over. Don't climb that high because the fall could kill you.

 

We do this to keep them safe and the vast majority of the time it does because they want to live! Sadly, when they don't want to live, they aren't going to care much about following safety precautions. :(

 

I can agree with most of what you are saying. Yes....my 8 year old knows about death, sickness, dangers, accidents, etc. I was specifically just talking about suicide. I suppose a lot of young kids do know about that....but not all. I'm not sure my dd knows about people killing themselves deliberately and the ways to do it.

 

I told the coaches AND their supervisor at swim that I went to get help for my dd numerous times and they never once helped her. I told them kids commit SUICIDE over bullying. They didn't listen.

 

Well, I emailed the entire team about our situation. NOW it's being taken VERY seriously, especially since more mom's are coming forward. I never should have been forced to take such drastic measures to get them to LISTEN to me. They just wanted us to quietly go away so they could sweep everything under the rug. NO WAY. Some teammate's parents were shocked to see what had happened to my dd, others weren't surprised because this isn't the first time this has happened.

 

I think there should be procedures in place for EVERY bullying incident. I think reports should be filed, and there should be a course of action to take NATION WIDE. This is a very, very serious situation. I'm tired of hearing of innocent kids taking their lives and NOBODY steps in and makes changes.

 

What that poor mom has to carry with her the rest of her life has ruined her. She likely is blaming herself for not taking her child out of the school. Her child and her mother, and ALL bullied children, should NEVER have to be the ones to change. Ever.

 

We were told that unless someone comes up and specifically speaks about what they saw with dd, it would be our word against theirs. I understand that, but there's an ongoing pattern of my going to them for help and them doing nothing. SOMETHING must be done!!! My dd is gone, there will be another victim next. That's why I really wish that one mom would speak up but she doesn't want to for fear of retaliation. Something has GOT to change. It's already too late.... too many lives have been destroyed or ended due to bullying.

 

Denise, I've been wondering what's going on with your situation. Have you gotten a reponse from the lady you e-mailed?? Did you end up meeting with them....or did you decline? Perhaps you posted an update and I missed it.

[Trish]

Did the mom on the TV show explain why homeschooling was not an option? I can't imagine putting my kid through that for two YEARS.

[BatmansWife]

:iagree:

Our DS was in grade 2 when another boy in his class started to bully him. This bully was quite a bit taller and had a good 30-40lb advantage in weight as well. The bully would verbally and physically go after our son and bully any other kids who tried to play with him. The school did nothing. Even after several meetings. The principal didn't want to get involved and had his VP handle it. She told me that "boys will be boys"and that they needed to learn how to become friends :confused: She was mortified that we didn't want our son to try and be friends with him. Umm....yea. It was just one of the many reasons we didn't have a lot of faith in the school.

 

Our house actually backs onto the school yard and I see all kinds of this behaviour every day. Wonderful socialization for the kids. I've called the school several times about some really bad scenes (when my children were still there & one incident actually involved MY CHILD!) and they were very condescending and actually had the nerve to say to me "Really Mrs W, you actually saw this from your window? You just happened to be watching at that exact moment??"

 

Argghhh - just thinking about it makes my blood boil. There is supposed to be zero tolerance at schools but I think that is zero tolerance for the children/parents complaining.

 

Wow....I can't believe the school acted that way....well, I can believe it. "Wonderful socialization for the kids". Exactly!

[Murphy101]

I can agree with most of what you are saying. Yes....my 8 year old knows about death, sickness, dangers, accidents, etc. I was specifically just talking about suicide. I suppose a lot of young kids do know about that....but not all. I'm not sure my dd knows about people killing themselves deliberately and the ways to do it.

 

I'd bet she does, but it simply isn't something she give much thought to.

 

I'm sure there exist kids who don't know, but I stand y my opinion that most do.:)

[dirty ethel rackham]

How terribly sad! My heart breaks for this girl and for her mother. 10 years old is pretty much when things start, if not sooner. Her story is all too common. The only reason this made the news is the ending - her suicide. I was bullied from 3rd grade until 8th grade. Any time I told adults, including my parents, I was told that it wasn't that bad or I had to get a thicker skin or I had to stop being such a target. I did feel helpless and powerless.

 

I've seen mean girl behavior as young as kindergarten when some girls told my daughter that she wan't allowed to play with them because she was homeschooled. Only kids going to xyz kindergarten were allowed to play with these toys. This was at a scouting event for their older siblings - a pack that drew from many schools.

[Denisemomof4]

 

 

Denise, I've been wondering what's going on with your situation. Have you gotten a reponse from the lady you e-mailed?? Did you end up meeting with them....or did you decline? Perhaps you posted an update and I missed it.

 

the updates are in here http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=325481

 

We will be meeting with the VP of 5 local YMCA's next week, along with the head coach and her supervisor's supervisor.

 

I just wish the one mom had come forward with what she herself saw, and told what her daughter witnessed many times - all involve the bullying by the COACH. Coach's dd is much more sneakier and has gone under the radar. The VP understands this and says it's often how it happens.

[BatmansWife]

Did the mom on the TV show explain why homeschooling was not an option? I can't imagine putting my kid through that for two YEARS.

 

Nope. She didn't say why. She said in the interview the girl asked if she could homeschool and they told her no, it wasn't possible. The mom said later that day she heard her daughter answer the phone and she was talking to a friend. She heard her dd tell the other girl that she asked her mom if she could homeschool and her mom said no. The mom said she sounded like she was "fine with it" and that's all of the phone conversation that she heard.

[Murphy101]

Nope. She didn't say why. She said in the interview the girl asked if she could homeschool and they told her no, it wasn't possible. The mom said later that day she heard her daughter answer the phone and she was talking to a friend. She heard her dd tell the other girl that she asked her mom if she could homeschool and her mom said no. The mom said she sounded like she was "fine with it" and that's all of the phone conversation that she heard.

 

And the girl might have seemed "fine with it" because she had already decided her course of action and had accepted the outcome as okay. :(

[BatmansWife]

the updates are in here http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=325481

 

We will be meeting with the VP of 5 local YMCA's next week, along with the head coach and her supervisor's supervisor.

 

I just wish the one mom had come forward with what she herself saw, and told what her daughter witnessed many times - all involve the bullying by the COACH. Coach's dd is much more sneakier and has gone under the radar. The VP understands this and says it's often how it happens.

 

Thank you for the link....I'll check it out to update myself. I sure hope all goes well with the meeting. What a shame that other mom and dd won't step up. :glare:

 

How terribly sad! My heart breaks for this girl and for her mother. 10 years old is pretty much when things start, if not sooner. Her story is all too common. The only reason this made the news is the ending - her suicide. I was bullied from 3rd grade until 8th grade. Any time I told adults, including my parents, I was told that it wasn't that bad or I had to get a thicker skin or I had to stop being such a target. I did feel helpless and powerless.

 

I've seen mean girl behavior as young as kindergarten when some girls told my daughter that she wan't allowed to play with them because she was homeschooled. Only kids going to xyz kindergarten were allowed to play with these toys. This was at a scouting event for their older siblings - a pack that drew from many schools.

 

What a shame you were bullied for so many years. :grouphug: It's sad that kids become so mean and unkind at such a young age.

[BatmansWife]

And the girl might have seemed "fine with it" because she had already decided her course of action and had accepted the outcome as okay. :(

 

I thought the same thing. She probably thought homeschooling was her last hope and it wasn't going to happen, so.....

[Impish]

Its heartbreaking.

 

I pulled Diva mid gr 3. She was being bullied not only by other students, but by her teacher as well. She'd go to the teacher and tell about being bullied, only to hear, "He's a nice boy! He wouldn't do that!" The teacher told Wolf, during a parent/student/teacher conference (so yes, right in front of Diva) that "Diva doesn't think rules apply to her. I have a niece that was exactly the same way at her age, and now she's a high school drop out and addicted to meth!"

 

Seriously.

[Oops, duplicate account :/]

:crying: I was bullied at school and it wasn't so bad that I felt like taking my life. I can't imagine. Heartbreaking.

[BatmansWife]

Its heartbreaking.

 

I pulled Diva mid gr 3. She was being bullied not only by other students, but by her teacher as well. She'd go to the teacher and tell about being bullied, only to hear, "He's a nice boy! He wouldn't do that!" The teacher told Wolf, during a parent/student/teacher conference (so yes, right in front of Diva) that "Diva doesn't think rules apply to her. I have a niece that was exactly the same way at her age, and now she's a high school drop out and addicted to meth!"

 

Seriously.

Whoa! So glad she's outta there!

[QuirkyKapers]

This is so sad. :angelsad2:

[mama2cntrykids]

I have a 10 yr old ds. I can't even imagine the pain.

[Plagefille]

Did you guys read the linked article. The problem is the adults! Here is what the sheriff said.

 

"We haven't uncovered anything so severe that it would result in someone taking their own life."

 

 

 

 

[Leav97]

I'd bet she does, but it simply isn't something she give much thought to.

 

I'm sure there exist kids who don't know, but I stand y my opinion that most do.:)

 

I don't know the DD of the poster but...

 

She maybe aware of death and the causes but, hasn't really put together the ways she could kill her self. Unless she has directly experience suicide in her life or has a reason to want to end her life she may not have thought out the details. If she had a reason, I agree that she could figure it out.

[Murphy101]

Did you guys read the linked article. The problem is the adults! Here is what the sheriff said.

 

"We haven't uncovered anything so severe that it would result in someone taking their own life."

 

 

 

:001_huh:I see nothing wrong with his statement. It could very well be true. The girl could have had other issues that contributed to this. The bullying might have not been all that horrid. She could have just felt no one there liked her.

 

We don't know the details. Her own mother didn't think it was that bad off.

 

Truth is kids go through rough patches and phases and some years are just harder than others, but MOST get through it without killing themselves.

 

Idk what the sheriff has uncovered, but it is possible that it wasn't anything unusually terrible or cruel to the point of driving the typical child to suicide.

[Murphy101]

I don't know the DD of the poster but...

 

She maybe aware of death and the causes but, hasn't really put together the ways she could kill her self. Unless she has directly experience suicide in her life or has a reason to want to end her life she may not have thought out the details. If she had a reason, I agree that she could figure it out.

 

 

Yes. That's what I meant. Most kids know about suicide and what it is. They just don't have much cause to ever think about it because most kids want to live. Remove that last factor and it's not hard at all to understand how a 10 year old could connect the dots somewhat easily.

[BatmansWife]

I don't know the DD of the poster but...

 

She maybe aware of death and the causes but, hasn't really put together the ways she could kill her self. Unless she has directly experience suicide in her life or has a reason to want to end her life she may not have thought out the details. If she had a reason, I agree that she could figure it out.

 

Okaaayyyy.....this was just kind of weird to read. :confused:

[crazyforlatin]

DD's ballet teacher is against homeschooling because she claims that kids need to be bullied in order to survive in the real world. So there are people who genuinely believe this and will allow these socialization issues to play out thinking that it will make kids tougher. I'm afraid to hear what their response would be to these tragic stories.

[Create Your Ritual]

I saw the Today show segment and it really upset me. I pulled my dd out at the end of 3rd grade when she was about 8 or 9 years old. There had been relentless bullying, both emotionally and physically for a good part of her 3rd grade year. The teacher's told her to ignore it. The counselor would tell her to just ignore them. We are talking being knocked down, kneed in the back until someone pulled them off of her, newly sharpened pencil being poked into her arm, told by certain girls that they could beat her up.

 

Now.. my dd is a very cute kid and communicates easily with people .. this is a small communit,y and she had known all of these kids since she was in preschool. They get empowered by the fact that no one is watching them closely in classrooms, and on the playground, and it creates a sort of gang mentality. I just eventually felt like it was going to change who I thought she could become, and I couldn't stand it anymore.

 

She is a content child now.. smart, gifted, articulate and capable of doing whatever she sets her mind to. They weren't teaching that there. The teachers would not differentiate instructions and if she read a TON more minutes in a reading contest than all the other students they would back her down to a max. of so many minutes because they didn't want her to outshine the rest. Now.. if you are a sports star at this school you can get as many goals or whatever as you want and no one tells you to stop. They weren't allowing academics to shine though, and I just felt like they were also ignoring behavior problems and eventually everyone conceded that it was just 'normal' for the kids to act like that and virtually ignored it.

[Create Your Ritual]

crazyforlatin.. yes I hear the 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' type of stuff also. In this case though it can absolutely kill. Children don't understand cause and effect and they can't possibly perceive a world that could be any better than what they are currently stuck in. They don't have all the coping mechanisms in place, and if you have a child who is more of a sponge and soaks up all the drama and issues around her then it can be a big problem. Some kids are just oblivious and sort of float through school.. my dd had 5 different things going on in her head at once.

[In the Rain]

It's so sad that these kids feel so helpless they think taking their own life is the only option. It makes you wonder how they even know about suicide at that age...much less how to do it.

 

I agree.

[Create Your Ritual]

I agree as well .. it's not something that we read about, watch, or talk about. My guess is that other kids would have been able to tell her all about it at public school, or possibly she watched something on tv. I ended up having to have 'The Talk' with my then 2nd grade dd because of what kids her age and older were talking about at the school.

 

*** more than likely the actual bullies may have told her exactly how she could go about killing herself *** I am not saying this is what happened, but it would seem likely that while they are teasing her they are also telling her what she should go do.

Edited November 18, 2011 by SaDonna

[FrogMom5]

This is so tragic. It breaks my heart that no one listened to this young girl. Two years is far too long to endure bullying.

 

My oldest son was bullied in pre-K and again in 1st grade. In pre-K, the kids were taught to ask an adult for help if another child was being mean to them. Yet, when anyone did ask a teacher for help, they were told to stop being a tattle-tale. The whole class was being bullied by 2 boys.

 

When dh and I went to the principal, we were told that the offender was a nice boy and our son was just being too sensitive. So, he was being too sensitive about being knocked down and kicked in the chin? He still has a scar on his chin.

 

We were also told that we were the only ones w/a complaint. That turned out to be a complete lie. Finally, a more experienced mom threatened to call the school board (she had connections), then the bullying stopped.

 

When it happened again in 1st grade, we got more support but we pulled him out anyway. Schools don't want to confront the parents of the bullies and some, not all, teachers don't take children's complaints seriously. It can be difficult to sort through which children have a legitimate complaint. And, I can understand that teachers need to get through material, not spend all day referring disagreements. However, this situation has happened enough that all adults should take kids complaints very seriously and intervene. This girl should still be alive.

Denise

[BatmansWife]

I saw the Today show segment and it really upset me. I pulled my dd out at the end of 3rd grade when she was about 8 or 9 years old. There had been relentless bullying, both emotionally and physically for a good part of her 3rd grade year. The teacher's told her to ignore it. The counselor would tell her to just ignore them. We are talking being knocked down, kneed in the back until someone pulled them off of her, newly sharpened pencil being poked into her arm, told by certain girls that they could beat her up.

 

Now.. my dd is a very cute kid and communicates easily with people .. this is a small communit,y and she had known all of these kids since she was in preschool. They get empowered by the fact that no one is watching them closely in classrooms, and on the playground, and it creates a sort of gang mentality. I just eventually felt like it was going to change who I thought she could become, and I couldn't stand it anymore.

 

She is a content child now.. smart, gifted, articulate and capable of doing whatever she sets her mind to. They weren't teaching that there. The teachers would not differentiate instructions and if she read a TON more minutes in a reading contest than all the other students they would back her down to a max. of so many minutes because they didn't want her to outshine the rest. Now.. if you are a sports star at this school you can get as many goals or whatever as you want and no one tells you to stop. They weren't allowing academics to shine though, and I just felt like they were also ignoring behavior problems and eventually everyone conceded that it was just 'normal' for the kids to act like that and virtually ignored it.

 

Your sentence I bolded is so true.

 

I'm sorry your dd had to go through that. I'm glad she is in a safe environment now. :grouphug:

[Lilymax]

So sad for that girl's family, and so sad to hear that so many kids here have been bullied. We, too, began homeschooling when it got to be too much for my son in 3rd grade, and the school did nothing to stop it. Like so many others have said, they blamed him....in his case, it was largely complicated due to the fact that the bullies' (twin boys) parents were good friends of the administration at the school he attended. :glare:

 

When we went to pull him out, we were told that HS was a bad idea, that it wouldn't teach him how to "toughen up", that we were doing him a grave injustice by removing him from school.

 

Yeah, she just didn't want to lose our money. He's flourished with homeschooling and we never looked back. Stories like that make me shudder to think what could've happened if we hadn't been proactive with homeschooling him. :(

[BatmansWife]

This is so tragic. It breaks my heart that no one listened to this young girl. Two years is far too long to endure bullying.

 

My oldest son was bullied in pre-K and again in 1st grade. In pre-K, the kids were taught to ask an adult for help if another child was being mean to them. Yet, when anyone did ask a teacher for help, they were told to stop being a tattle-tale. The whole class was being bullied by 2 boys.

 

When dh and I went to the principal, we were told that the offender was a nice boy and our son was just being too sensitive. So, he was being too sensitive about being knocked down and kicked in the chin? He still has a scar on his chin.

 

We were also told that we were the only ones w/a complaint. That turned out to be a complete lie. Finally, a more experienced mom threatened to call the school board (she had connections), then the bullying stopped.

 

When it happened again in 1st grade, we got more support but we pulled him out anyway. Schools don't want to confront the parents of the bullies and some, not all, teachers don't take children's complaints seriously. It can be difficult to sort through which children have a legitimate complaint. And, I can understand that teachers need to get through material, not spend all day referring disagreements. However, this situation has happened enough that all adults should take kids complaints very seriously and intervene. This girl should still be alive.

Denise

 

Wow...being bullied in pre-K?? Where are these kids learning this....why aren't they taught to be nice to people?? That's rhetorical, by the way.

 

I'm also glad that your ds is out of that bad environment.

[BatmansWife]

So sad for that girl's family, and so sad to hear that so many kids here have been bullied. We, too, began homeschooling when it got to be too much for my son in 3rd grade, and the school did nothing to stop it. Like so many others have said, they blamed him....in his case, it was largely complicated due to the fact that the bullies' (twin boys) parents were good friends of the administration at the school he attended. :glare:

 

When we went to pull him out, we were told that HS was a bad idea, that it wouldn't teach him how to "toughen up", that we were doing him a grave injustice by removing him from school.

 

Yeah, she just didn't want to lose our money. He's flourished with homeschooling and we never looked back. Stories like that make me shudder to think what could've happened if we hadn't been proactive with homeschooling him. :(

 

:iagree: with the bolded.

 

It's heartbreaking to think of that 10-year old asking to homeschool and being told no. I don't mean to be blaming the mother (maybe there was a good reason she couldn't....I don't know). But, had she said....yes, or...maybe we can work something out.....she'd still be alive most likely.

 

Good for you that you took action to remove your son from that kind of environment.

[Create Your Ritual]

Thanks AprilMay, I am also happy that she is home and away from it as well.

 

Kari, I noticed it made a huge difference how your child was treated if their parents were on the school board, or happened to be BFFs with the teacher. My dd picked up on that type of thing and how different she was being treated compared to others early on. Oftentimes it took a more 'popular' kid with the teacher's and staff to say something in order to get any attention.

 

Unfortunately when some of the other popular kids ARE the bullies, it's virtually impossible to get the teachers to take note of it. One little girl that was just awful to dd before I brought her home apparently still is, as I have heard several parents recount stories of how their child came home with hurt feelings or torn clothes from this girl cutting them in class. And we are talking of maybe 20 kids in each class.

 

In 3rd grade my dds teacher spent most of his time on his Ipad. Dd said she rarely could get him to look up to answer questions, and much of what happened to her would occur when he was in the room and not paying attention. Sometimes it was when he would step out of the room.. and more often than not it was during recess. They just need more attendants, and teacher's that are actually paying attention during class.

[Denisemomof4]

:001_huh:I see nothing wrong with his statement. It could very well be true. The girl could have had other issues that contributed to this. The bullying might have not been all that horrid. She could have just felt no one there liked her.

 

 

in talking with the VP of the YMCA facility where dd was bullied, the VP said that bullying oftentimes is a slow, undercurrent of sayings and doings, not particularly damaging in and of themselves, but consistently subjecting someone to them over a long period of time, they chip away at a child's self esteem.

 

The fact that this child took her life to prevent having to go to school is beyond tragic. Something obviously affected her in a very powerful way. Poor kid.

[Denisemomof4]

Wow...being bullied in pre-K?? Where are these kids learning this....why aren't they taught to be nice to people?? That's rhetorical, by the way.

I'm also glad that your ds is out of that bad environment.

 

I've seen bullying in preschoolers. Yes, it was true bullying. When ds was in preschool, he and his friends never opened up their mouths about it because the kid told them that his dad would kill his parents if they ever told on him.:001_huh:

[Create Your Ritual]

I will say that it has been empowering to both my dc to be home with us the past few years. They have continued to play sports in our community and each year they join the local team of kids (their public school buddies) for soccer, basketball and spring sports.

 

This past fall both dc were on the same soccer team. I had moved ds up to the next level. Anyway, a girl was trying to intimidate ds8 about "hurrying up" and "what are you even doing here, etc." Dd went right up to her and told her, "That is my brother and you aren't going to talk to him like that!" The little girl ended up apologizing to ds. Mind you, I am not trying to create my own bullies here .. but I was grateful that dd felt empowered to stick up for her brother under those circumstances. Had she still been in school, she might have feared punishment from the same kid the following school day. Nowdays, she gets along with everyone there ... even those I would consider the bullies, because she knows she doesn't HAVE to put up with anything from them.

 

I have even had several friends who took their dc out of school for a year or so for the same reason. When they went back they also felt empowered, like they had options and didn't have to fear what might happen the following day.

[Audrey]

:001_huh:I see nothing wrong with his statement. It could very well be true. The girl could have had other issues that contributed to this. The bullying might have not been all that horrid. She could have just felt no one there liked her.

 

We don't know the details. Her own mother didn't think it was that bad off.

 

Truth is kids go through rough patches and phases and some years are just harder than others, but MOST get through it without killing themselves.

 

Idk what the sheriff has uncovered, but it is possible that it wasn't anything unusually terrible or cruel to the point of driving the typical child to suicide.

 

Yeah, but... she'd been bullied for 2 years. Even if it wasn't over the top, it was still 2 long years of bullying. That's 20% of her whole little life. That would be like me bullied for 9 straight years! I can't imagine it. It would be crushing and depressing.

 

I am currently VERY worried about a friend of ds's. He is tormented by bullies at school (actually one big jerk bully and his little posse). They even taunt him at his house, as well as online. The friend's parents are friends of ours as well and they're at wit's end. The school keeps saying they are addressing it and dealing with it, but it still keeps happening. The big jerk bully's parents think their son is just as peachy perfect as can be. :glare: They're idiots and liars, of course. They know what's going on and they just don't care.

 

My son's friend comes here and will often unload his troubles to ds. The boy cries. My ds doesn't know what to do to help him. It is a very, very sad sight to see your son trying to comfort a crying friend and seeing the puzzlement in his eyes, the pain in his friend's eyes.

 

It enrages me and breaks my heart at the same time that it makes me very afraid for this boy. Stories like the OP linked are too REAL, too close to home. I don't ever want that to happen here.

[BatmansWife]

I've seen bullying in preschoolers. Yes, it was true bullying. When ds was in preschool, he and his friends never opened up their mouths about it because the kid told them that his dad would kill his parents if they ever told on him.:001_huh:

 

Awww...that is sooo sad. Imagine what that kid is like now...or in a few more years.

 

Yeah, but... she'd been bullied for 2 years. Even if it wasn't over the top, it was still 2 long years of bullying. That's 20% of her whole little life. That would be like me bullied for 9 straight years! I can't imagine it. It would be crushing and depressing.

 

I am currently VERY worried about a friend of ds's. He is tormented by bullies at school (actually one big jerk bully and his little posse). They even taunt him at his house, as well as online. The friend's parents are friends of ours as well and they're at wit's end. The school keeps saying they are addressing it and dealing with it, but it still keeps happening. The big jerk bully's parents think their son is just as peachy perfect as can be. :glare: They're idiots and liars, of course. They know what's going on and they just don't care.

 

My son's friend comes here and will often unload his troubles to ds. The boy cries. My ds doesn't know what to do to help him. It is a very, very sad sight to see your son trying to comfort a crying friend and seeing the puzzlement in his eyes, the pain in his friend's eyes.

 

It enrages me and breaks my heart at the same time that it makes me very afraid for this boy. Stories like the OP linked are too REAL, too close to home. I don't ever want that to happen here.

 

I'm really sorry for your son and his friend. :grouphug: I really hope something is done to put a stop to this.

[QuirkyKapers]

Yeah, but... she'd been bullied for 2 years. Even if it wasn't over the top, it was still 2 long years of bullying. That's 20% of her whole little life. That would be like me bullied for 9 straight years! I can't imagine it. It would be crushing and depressing.

 

I am currently VERY worried about a friend of ds's. He is tormented by bullies at school (actually one big jerk bully and his little posse). They even taunt him at his house, as well as online. The friend's parents are friends of ours as well and they're at wit's end. The school keeps saying they are addressing it and dealing with it, but it still keeps happening. The big jerk bully's parents think their son is just as peachy perfect as can be. :glare: They're idiots and liars, of course. They know what's going on and they just don't care.

 

My son's friend comes here and will often unload his troubles to ds. The boy cries. My ds doesn't know what to do to help him. It is a very, very sad sight to see your son trying to comfort a crying friend and seeing the puzzlement in his eyes, the pain in his friend's eyes.

 

It enrages me and breaks my heart at the same time that it makes me very afraid for this boy. Stories like the OP linked are too REAL, too close to home. I don't ever want that to happen here.

 

Yikes when you put it that way that it was 20% of her life, sad.

 

Sorry about your son's friend. That would be a difficult situation.:grouphug:

[Plagefille]

:001_huh:I see nothing wrong with his statement. It could very well be true. The girl could have had other issues that contributed to this. The bullying might have not been all that horrid. She could have just felt no one there liked her.

 

We don't know the details. Her own mother didn't think it was that bad off.

 

Truth is kids go through rough patches and phases and some years are just harder than others, but MOST get through it without killing themselves.

 

Idk what the sheriff has uncovered, but it is possible that it wasn't anything unusually terrible or cruel to the point of driving the typical child to suicide.

 

 

And you are one the people who would just let it go and let her get bullied till she kills herself! NO ONE can EVER judge how something is affected someone else.