Sister Wives

[Parrothead]

TXMary2, I noticed the same thing (those who hate the Duggar family seem to like the Brown family). Odd.

I can honestly say I'm not overly fond of either of them. Or that other family with the 8 kids.

 

The "pimping out" of the families is what I find disturbing. So I don't watch any of their shows. But I find this thread oddly fascinating.

[TXMary2]

I haven't seen the whole show, only the first five or six episodes, so I don't know what happened later on. In the episodes I saw, though, they seemed pretty normal. I'd imagine that having to flee to another state over the whole polygamy thing caused a lot of issues.

 

"whole polygamy thing" = normal

 

extra large christian family = not normal

 

Interesting.

 

The Duggars are in a monagomous marraige and raising children to be polite, helpful and believers in God. That is so horrible.

[Merry]

in Utah...Mormons, of course....but Grandpa left home as soon as he could and moved far away and totally rejected the Mormon lifestyle. He didn't talk much about it but he said that there was so much hurt and harm done in his family when growing up.

 

I can honestly say I'm not overly fond of either of them. Or that other family with the 8 kids.

 

The "pimping out" of the families is what I find disturbing. So I don't watch any of their shows. But I find this thread oddly fascinating.

 

LOL, I agree with Parrothead:)

[Plucky]

I can honestly say I'm not overly fond of either of them. Or that other family with the 8 kids.

 

The "pimping out" of the families is what I find disturbing. So I don't watch any of their shows. But I find this thread oddly fascinating.

 

I agree. I know my kids would start behaving like monsters if I subjected them to such scrutiny, and I think that is normal for anyone whose privacy is violated. I wonder if the Duggar kids see the show as their "job."

[astrid]

"whole polygamy thing" = normal

 

extra large christian family = not normal

 

Interesting.

 

Oh come on. Isn't "Interesting" just a more palatable way for you to say, "Gee Mergath, you're crazy to think the way you do?" Let's just call a spade a spade, okay?

You don't agree with her, fine.

 

If she thinks polygamy is normal, fine. If she thinks an extra large Christian family isn't, fine.

 

BTW, they're both "extra large Christian families." Just different.

And as people have stated REPEATEDLY here and in other threads, it's not the size of the family that many object to. It's the whole Gothards/Pearls connection.

 

astrid

[astrid]

I think a big part of the Duggar children's seemingly perpetually sunny attitudes is that they are instructed that they must always have a "joyful countenance" and "happy" is the ONLY image you project. I think that is a BIG difference between the children of each family.

 

astrid

[Plucky]

I think a big part of the Duggar children's seemingly perpetually sunny attitudes is that they are instructed that they must always have a "joyful countenance" and "happy" is the ONLY image you project. I think that is a BIG difference between the children of each family.

 

astrid

 

True. I am a little concerned though about Kody's take on one of his oldest boys & saying he's a hormonal monster on national tv doesn't sit well with me. He may very well be an HM, but he also has other feelings, and even if he is hormonal don't announce it on tv. Ugh.

[astrid]

True. I am a little concerned though about Kody's take on one of his oldest boys & saying he's a hormonal monster on national tv doesn't sit well with me. He may very well be an HM, but he also has other feelings, and even if he is hormonal don't announce it on tv. Ugh.

 

Yeah, that bothered me too. I felt really badly for the kid. Seems like he's having a hard time fitting in the new school, community, etc. and it's a rough time for a boy anyway, even without four moms. I think he might be mothered to death, and seeing his father as strutting around cock of the walk. I'd say rebellion is natural. I think they all need some counseling because it seems like the other kids are also exhibiting signs of unrest. Christine just shipped her 8 year old girl off to live with Meri because "they butt heads." But then, perhaps the obstinancy is a bit of Kody shining through! Chip off the old block, eh? :D

 

astrid

[SailorMom]

Way back in the old days, when polygamy was normal and acceptable (and expected), women were not necesarrily marrying for love. They were married by their fathers with little say. When the man took a second, thrid, fourth wife - there was possibly little jealousy, and a lot of relief because the work of women was so much harder then, and raising kids did take a village, so to speak. I'm sure many were affectionate

and some were in love, but the whole idea of marriage for love is relatively modern (at least for those not of the upper classes).

Now, at least in the west - if not elsewhere, we marry for love. I can't imagine sharing my DH. It makes me ill thinking about it. So - the dynamic of something like the family on Sister Wives makes no sense to me - unless there is simple affection rather than deep love. Otherwise, I do think there would need to be some sort of psychological break for those women to be able to handle the whole thing.

Of course, as has been mentioned, if they were raised in a family like that it would be easier to stomach, I suppose.

[Myeightkiddies]

perpetually sunny attitudes

 

I have five girls. They are all on different cycles. Every week of every month, someone has PMS. I'm amazed how they can have perpetually sunny attitudes all the time - with that many girls.

[Plucky]

" But then, perhaps the obstinancy is a bit of Kody shining through! Chip off the old block, eh? :D

 

astrid

 

Exactly! LOL

 

I do want to say that I think a lot of very normal families can benefit from counseling at times. Raising kids and trying to have a happy functional family is hard enough, but throwing in so many adults & kids can make it even more challenging.

[SeekingSimplicity]

:lol: That made me laugh. I have real life stories I could tell, but I shall refrain.

 

But! --Solomon of the bible --had over 1000 women at his disposal. He managed.

 

On the TV show, I think they said he rotates nights with the wives so they each get an equal share of his time. He sleeps in a different bedroom each night. So I'm guess that means that each wife could only have tea about 1-2 times a week. Unless they have some other system for handle that. IDK... I like my tea on demand. LOL And I don't want anyone sticking their finger in my cup.

 

Wait... that may not have come out the way I meant it. lol

[astrid]

It's the "training." I'm convinced of it. The whole "cheerful countenence" thing is one of the major tenets of the Pearls and Gothards. Beat them for being unhappy, and then beat them until they're happy. Not saying the Duggars are switching kids, but we only see what TLC airs.

 

 

astrid

[astrid]

:lol::lol::smilielol5::lol::lol:

 

astrid

[Virg]

I think they (the wives) think that...and I agree that he seems majorly attracted to her over the others. However, I see a much deeper connection with Meri than any other the other wives. I kind of tend to compartmentalize things in my mind and I see him and Meri as the husband and wife "team" - while the others are brought on as helpers and have their designed place. But I still think Meri is "the one" with him. I see Janelle as the "other man" - she helps bring home the bacon. I see Christine as the one who takes on the "housewife" role - she cooks, cleans, and is just the built-in "mommy extrodinaire." And Robyn...well, she more reminds me of some kind of affair that a middle-aged man would have just for the s*x. LOL

:iagree::iagree: LOL I watch them all! We get the channel and if I miss one I can watch it OnDemand. We get all the cable channels for free lol don't judge me :) I am caught up! I have some weird attraction to this show and am fascinated by it. However I am so needy there is no way I could do it!

[LidiyaDawn]

On the TV show, I think they said he rotates nights with the wives so they each get an equal share of his time. He sleeps in a different bedroom each night. So I'm guess that means that each wife could only have tea about 1-2 times a week. Unless they have some other system for handle that. IDK... I like my tea on demand. LOL And I don't want anyone sticking their finger in my cup.

 

Wait... that may not have come out the way I meant it. lol

 

I'd see that as an upside to a polygamous marriage ~ dh loves tea…and I don't.

 

We could have lots of cookies & cake - they could have the tea. :D

[MamaSheep]

What religion are they? I saw the show a few times and it didn't say.. I was assuming they were of an LDS branch (specifying BRANCH because I know that mainstream LDS don't practice polygamy anymore) but it looks like some of you are saying they're not?

 

As for the actual practice of having more than one wife..I think I could be happy enough that way.. it would be kinda fun to have a "sister wife" to share in all the life-stuff. (as long as it was someone with whom I could be friends)

 

It'll never happen though. :laugh:

 

Just FYI for the future, the groups that split off from the LDS church are generally referred to as "splinter groups" rather than "branches" because "branch" could too easily be confused with another way the term "branch" is used, which is to indicate a congregation of the LDS church that is too small to qualify as a "ward" (yet). I grew up in an LDS branch of about 30 people, give or take, very much part of the LDS church and not at all broken away from it. No biggie here, but I thought you might like to know for future reference that using "branch" might confuse some people as to which kind of group you are talking about.

 

I haven't watched the show, so I have no particular opinion on this specific family. I do have some fairly strong religious disagreements with some of the teachings of all of the splinter groups, and it irks me to no end when people get them mixed up with us, or assume that they have kept the faith in its original form and "we" LDS used to be just like them. It's true that the LDS church has made some changes in practice and policy since the early days (though I find the doctrine remarkably intact), but the other groups have diverged from the original as well. So I figured watching that show would just get me riled...lol.

[CAMom]

It's the "training." I'm convinced of it. The whole "cheerful countenence" thing is one of the major tenets of the Pearls and Gothards. Beat them for being unhappy, and then beat them until they're happy. Not saying the Duggars are switching kids, but we only see what TLC airs.

 

 

astrid

 

Ya know, I think that's unfair. There are lots of families who teach their kids to do things without grumbling and complaining that don't "beat them for being unhappy and then beat them until they are happy."

 

When my big kids were little I used to remind them to obey with a happy heart. I never once "beat" them for not being happy. We talked a lot about respecting authority, being grateful for what they had, preferring others over themselves, etc. but they didn't get beaten for not being happy.

 

Of course, they were never perfectly happy all of the time but they've always had a foundation of serving others without griping about it.

 

I know the Duggars have been a part of ATI but from some of what I've read, don't they say they are spank free?

[KristinaBreece]

I really don't care whether people want to live as polygamists or not. As long as nobody is being abused, it's their choice. I could never do it, though. Sharing the guy wouldn't bother me so much- I think true Disney-style love is overrated, to be honest- but I could never give up that much of my autonomy as a parent. I don't want some other woman disciplining my child, or saying that she's my dd's mom, too. That would drive me up a wall.

 

 

That's my take on it as well. It wouldn't be hard for me to share a man. But I could NOT allow someone else equal "control" over how my children are raised. Let's be honest-- I am the one who makes the majority of the parenting decisions in our family, and I like it that way. ;)

[Scarlett]

That's my take on it as well. It wouldn't be hard for me to share a man. But I could NOT allow someone else equal "control" over how my children are raised. Let's be honest-- I am the one who makes the majority of the parenting decisions in our family, and I like it that way. ;)

 

Ugh. I don't share parenting well either but I certainly will not share my husband. I find it a repulsive thought. And not just the sexual part...dh and I are very close....we talk a lot. I can't imagine having to share that with anyone else.

[TXMary2]

Oh come on. Isn't "Interesting" just a more palatable way for you to say, "Gee Mergath, you're crazy to think the way you do?" Let's just call a spade a spade, okay?

You don't agree with her, fine.

 

If she thinks polygamy is normal, fine. If she thinks an extra large Christian family isn't, fine.

 

BTW, they're both "extra large Christian families." Just different.

And as people have stated REPEATEDLY here and in other threads, it's not the size of the family that many object to. It's the whole Gothards/Pearls connection.

 

astrid

 

No, Astrid, sometimes "interesting" just means interesting. I find her view (and seeming double standard) interesting. I find it interesting that so many people just can't stand that the Duggars might actually be a happy family. The Duggar bashing gets old.

 

As for the "happy countenance" - there are worse things! I expect my kids to be cheerful and not complain and grumble. Negativity breeds negatvity. I am completely befuddled that anyone would complain that they look too happy.

 

I think the truth of the matter is that people who are generally miserable, just can't accept that others are happy.

[Myeightkiddies]

On the TV show, I think they said he rotates nights with the wives so they each get an equal share of his time. He sleeps in a different bedroom each night. So I'm guess that means that each wife could only have tea about 1-2 times a week. Unless they have some other system for handle that. IDK... I like my tea on demand. LOL And I don't want anyone sticking their finger in my cup.

 

Wait... that may not have come out the way I meant it. lol

 

:lol:

[Scarlett]

No, Astrid, sometimes "interesting" just means interesting. I find her view (and seeming double standard) interesting. I find it interesting that so many people just can't stand that the Duggars might actually be a happy family. The Duggar bashing gets old.

 

As for the "happy countenance" - there are worse things! I expect my kids to be cheerful and not complain and grumble. Negativity breeds negatvity. I am completely befuddled that anyone would complain that they look too happy.

 

I think the truth of the matter is that people who are generally miserable, just can't accept that others are happy.

 

:iagree:

 

I also can't for the life of me figure out WHY people are so AGAINST parents teaching their children a certain set of standards. If they want their kids to keep the negativity in check.....so what! That doesn't mean they aren't allowed to express disagreement or to complain. They have just been taught to be happy and pleasant.

 

I wish I could figure out how to teach that to ds11 in a gentle manner. It beats the heck out of me saying, 'Wipe that look off your face RIGHT NOW!' :tongue_smilie:

[Myeightkiddies]

In all seriousness, it is just speculation. Unless one knows them personally and is a part of their lives, all we can do is make assumptions. Of course, this excludes information shared by the Duggars/Browns themselves. Following one program/philosophy/teaching/book does not necessarily mean all aspects of such are being followed.

 

I don't know. I don't know either of the families. I identify more with the Duggars being that I have a large family and only one husband. I do hope that they (and the Browns) are truly happy. It would be a good thing for any family to be truly. My family and children are a happy, cheerful group most of the time (minus the pms when one can start crying over an empty peanut butter jar or the fact we are having spaghetti or that there's just one packet of hot chocolate left). I'm sure these families have moments such as that, too, even if not displayed on television.

[Tenaj]

No, Astrid, sometimes "interesting" just means interesting. I find her view (and seeming double standard) interesting. I find it interesting that so many people just can't stand that the Duggars might actually be a happy family. The Duggar bashing gets old.

 

As for the "happy countenance" - there are worse things! I expect my kids to be cheerful and not complain and grumble. Negativity breeds negatvity. I am completely befuddled that anyone would complain that they look too happy.

 

I think the truth of the matter is that people who are generally miserable, just can't accept that others are happy.

 

:iagree:

 

Also, Christians are supposed to celebrate the "joy of the Lord". (Nehemiah 8:10). We use this passage often to encourage our children in having a "joyful heart" and one way they can demonstrate that is by being content, cheerful, and having a happy countenance as opposed to a frowning face, grumbling and complaining when asked to do something not on their agenda.

 

We often also use the example of an employment situation . . the person who can't meet an employment assignment with pleasantness is probably not going to stay employed long.

 

Editing to complete the thought: Having a joyful heart certainly doesn't preclude expressing an opinion that is contrary or discussing an issue that is causing a problem, but there are proper ways to convey those kinds of emotions that don't require grumbling or complaining about a request.

Edited November 10, 2011 by JanOH

[astrid]

No, Astrid, sometimes "interesting" just means interesting. I find her view (and seeming double standard) interesting. I find it interesting that so many people just can't stand that the Duggars might actually be a happy family. The Duggar bashing gets old.

 

As for the "happy countenance" - there are worse things! I expect my kids to be cheerful and not complain and grumble. Negativity breeds negatvity. I am completely befuddled that anyone would complain that they look too happy.

 

I think the truth of the matter is that people who are generally miserable, just can't accept that others are happy.

 

Yes, sometimes "interesting" just means "interesting. And sometimes there's an subtext and implication.

 

You're missing my point about the "happy countenance." If the outward appearance that is required is always one of happiness, it's difficult to know what is under the surface. It's just not realistic to believe that these kids are happy ALL. THE. TIME. No human is. To believe otherwise is ridiculous.

 

And really, we are only seeing what the Duggars, the Browns and TLC chooses to show us.

 

Oh, and please do not make the assumption that those who don't buy what the Duggars are selling, which includes myself and my family, are "generally miserable." You have no idea what the lives of others are like, and you have no idea that all is sunlight and roses in the Duggar home. We are quite happy, and GASP, do indeed have "standards," though not in the "Gothard" sense.

 

astrid

[Rosie_0801]

I think the truth of the matter is that people who are generally miserable, just can't accept that others are happy.

 

I think the truth of the matter is that some people were raised in happiness only families and know by experience the range of emotions that are hidden behind. It's quite possible those people aren't bashing so much as hoping these kids don't actually feel the way they did growing up. And if I'm generally miserable, it's because I don't enjoy sleep deprivation. Lucky for me I only have two so I don't expect to be sleep deprived for the rest of my life.

 

Rosie

[DawnM]

I watched the first few episodes and I couldn't take it. He is really arrogant and I too find the entire thing odd.

 

They didn't seem all that religious to me either. Do the kids attend regular school? I thought they said something about formerly homeschooling and then finding a school where their values were taught?

 

Dawn

[Parrothead]

Ya know, I think that's unfair. There are lots of families who teach their kids to do things without grumbling and complaining that don't "beat them for being unhappy and then beat them until they are happy."

 

When my big kids were little I used to remind them to obey with a happy heart. I never once "beat" them for not being happy. We talked a lot about respecting authority, being grateful for what they had, preferring others over themselves, etc. but they didn't get beaten for not being happy.

 

Of course, they were never perfectly happy all of the time but they've always had a foundation of serving others without griping about it.

 

I know the Duggars have been a part of ATI but from some of what I've read, don't they say they are spank free?

:iagree:

[Mergath]

"whole polygamy thing" = normal

 

extra large christian family = not normal

 

Interesting.

 

The Duggars are in a monagomous marraige and raising children to be polite, helpful and believers in God. That is so horrible.

 

Then it's a good thing I was speaking about these specific families, and not generalizing about large Christian families in general, isn't it?

 

But hey, good job trying to twist my opinion on one family into a blanket condemnation of all large Christian families.

 

I stand by my earlier statement that the Duggars creep me out. Not large Christian families. The Duggars. There's something about their facial expressions that makes me want to run screaming. It's not a happy expression- it's a BLANK happy expression. *shudder*

[Mergath]

No, Astrid, sometimes "interesting" just means interesting. I find her view (and seeming double standard) interesting. I find it interesting that so many people just can't stand that the Duggars might actually be a happy family. The Duggar bashing gets old.

 

As for the "happy countenance" - there are worse things! I expect my kids to be cheerful and not complain and grumble. Negativity breeds negatvity. I am completely befuddled that anyone would complain that they look too happy.

 

I think the truth of the matter is that people who are generally miserable, just can't accept that others are happy.

 

Lol... Yes, that's the problem. I'm overwhelmed by jealousy at their happiness because I'm drowning in misery over here. :001_rolleyes: I'll try to quit smiling now and rearrange my face into an appropriately scowly expression for you.

 

I expect my dd to be a kid. I would be a little disturbed if my dd was smiling and cheerful twenty-four hours a day. She's a kid. She's supposed to get grumpy. How in the world can you learn to deal with your own negative moods if you're never allowed to express them to your family?

[Audrey]

I can honestly say I'm not overly fond of either of them. Or that other family with the 8 kids.

 

The "pimping out" of the families is what I find disturbing. So I don't watch any of their shows. But I find this thread oddly fascinating.

 

:iagree: I dislike the Duggars and the Browns equally. My biggest beef with them is the bolded above.

[TXMary2]

Yes, sometimes "interesting" just means "interesting. And sometimes there's an subtext and implication.

 

You're missing my point about the "happy countenance." If the outward appearance that is required is always one of happiness, it's difficult to know what is under the surface. It's just not realistic to believe that these kids are happy ALL. THE. TIME. No human is. To believe otherwise is ridiculous.

 

And really, we are only seeing what the Duggars, the Browns and TLC chooses to show us.

 

Oh, and please do not make the assumption that those who don't buy what the Duggars are selling, which includes myself and my family, are "generally miserable." You have no idea what the lives of others are like, and you have no idea that all is sunlight and roses in the Duggar home. We are quite happy, and GASP, do indeed have "standards," though not in the "Gothard" sense.

 

astrid

 

I must have missed the episdoes where they claimed to always be happy and not have any problems. :confused:

 

Seems to me I have seen plenty of episodes with kids crying about something - not many - but it has happened. They weren't expressing joy over Josie's health. I do recall them shedding tears and not smiling. I think it is irrational to be creeped out by happy people. Whatever. You have your opinion and I have mine. This argument is pointless.

 

I want to add that I find it quite ironic that you are admonishing me about having "no idea what the lives of others are like." You have no idea (based on what we see on television) that there isn't anything other than sunlight and roses in the Duggar home. I think it is fair to say that they have been in the limelight long enough that if there were dirt to be found, it would have been found. I am not claiming to know more than what I see on TV, but apparently I don't own the same crystal ball some people do.

Edited November 10, 2011 by TXMary2

[astrid]

I must have missed the episdoes where they claimed to always be happy and not have any problems. :confused:

 

Seems to me I have seen plenty of episodes with kids crying about something - not many - but it has happened. They weren't expressing joy over Josie's health. I do recall them shedding tears and not smiling. I think it is irrational to be creeped out by happy people. Whatever. You have your opinion and I have mine. This argument is pointless.

 

I want to add that I find it quite ironic that you are admonishing me about having "no idea what the lives of others are like." You have no idea (based on what we see on television) that there isn't anything other than sunlight and roses in the Duggar home. I think it is fair to say that they have been in the limelight long enough that if there were dirt to be found, it would have been found. I am not claiming to know more than what I see on TV, but apparently I don't own the same crystal ball some people do.

 

Hm. Resorting to snark. Okay then.

 

Again, you are missing my point. It is a fact that the Duggars follow the Gothards/Pearl ATII doctrine. (See various other Duggar threads here.)

They are trained to smile and APPEAR happy, even when they might not be, and let's be honest, it's impossible for anyone, even a Duggar in their happy little Duggar world, to be happy ALL. THE. TIME. But the Duggars are under contract with TLC, and who knows what's in their contract? Maybe they have a clause that precludes portrayals of family strife/disharmony.

 

The Brown kids do not appear happy all the time. That is all I"m saying.

 

And again, I DO NOT CARE HOW EITHER OF THESE FAMILIES CHOOSE TO RAISE THEIR KIDS. I simply don't. I'm a TV consumer, just like you. Incidentally, recent events at Penn State illustrate that sometimes someone can be in the limelight for many years before light penetrates dark corners. PLEASE DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME-- I AM NOT INDICATING THAT THERE IS NEFARIOUS BEHAVIOR BEHIND CLOSED DUGGAR DOORS. But I'm saying that when it comes to reality/vs. tv-reality and today's media climate, is anyone ever "safe?"

 

astrid

[astrid]

Ya know, I think that's unfair. There are lots of families who teach their kids to do things without grumbling and complaining that don't "beat them for being unhappy and then beat them until they are happy."

 

When my big kids were little I used to remind them to obey with a happy heart. I never once "beat" them for not being happy. We talked a lot about respecting authority, being grateful for what they had, preferring others over themselves, etc. but they didn't get beaten for not being happy.

 

Of course, they were never perfectly happy all of the time but they've always had a foundation of serving others without griping about it.

 

I know the Duggars have been a part of ATI but from some of what I've read, don't they say they are spank free?

 

Our dd is expected to do obey and do things with a happy heart. And she does. We do not tolerate anything else. Perhaps I should have included a citation, and I"m on my iphone so I'm not going to take the time to type out the little rice krispie keys and find a link, but the whole "beat them for being unhappy then beat them until they're happy" is from the Pearls or Gothards, one of them. Remember? I learned about it here, on this board!

 

I did not say you do that, or anyone else who raises a child with expectations about their attitudes does. I'm saying it's a tenet of the program, and the Duggars, according to many accounts, subscribe to these methods, at least in part.

 

astrid

[WagsWife]

It's the "training." I'm convinced of it. The whole "cheerful countenence" thing is one of the major tenets of the Pearls and Gothards. Beat them for being unhappy, and then beat them until they're happy. Not saying the Duggars are switching kids, but we only see what TLC airs.

 

 

astrid

 

I did not have to beat my children to teach them to be cheerful, or respectful. All it took was teaching them that if they want me to hear them out, and take their feelings into account...they better express themselves in a calm, respectful manner. You want to be grumpy? Fine, be grumpy in your room. You don't get to make the entire house miserable, because you are out of sorts.

[5kidsforME]

"whole polygamy thing" = normal

 

extra large christian family = not normal

 

Interesting.

 

The Duggars are in a monagomous marraige and raising children to be polite, helpful and believers in God. That is so horrible.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

So true!!

[Mrs Mungo]

"whole polygamy thing" = normal

 

extra large christian family = not normal

 

Interesting.

 

I find this an extremely odd summary of the two threads since the vast majority of posters neither agreed with polygamy nor found it normal. The only difference I see between this thread and the other is that there is nobody rabidly defending any and all criticisms of the Brown family.

[butterflymommy]

I don't think the Duggars are faking their happiness. I can smell fake happiness a mile away and I don't see it there. However, the Duggar clan, as nice and sweet and happy as they are, have never struck me as the brightest bulbs in the chandelier. Maybe that helps keep things cheerful, IDK.

 

Now if you want to see fake happiness and fake smiles on a family reality show-- Jon and Kate Plus 8 (the early episodes before they were openly at each other's throats) is a prize specimen.

[Susann]

Prosecution for polygamy is a very real threat in Utah, as is being ostracized and fired (as we saw with Merri)..

I thought that Merri worked with at-risk troubled teens. If so, she wasn't fired for polygamy per se but for engaging in illegal behavior. Isn't job loss & ostracization part of the risk you choose to take by engaging in illegal behavior?

[Mrs Mungo]

I thought that Merri worked with at-risk troubled teens. If so, she wasn't fired for polygamy per se but for engaging in illegal behavior. Isn't job loss & ostracization part of the risk you choose to take by engaging in illegal behavior?

 

She is only married to one man, she hasn't done anything illegal. I realize you could argue his unofficial marries constitute common-law marriages and therefore *could* be argued as illegal, but there is nothing illegal about her marriage.

[Susann]

:iagree: Yeah, that! Just can't fathom it and that guy just gives me the creeps.

 

I have to wonder about the benefit to the "non-legal" wives. They don't have the legal protection of marriage so I would wonder what difficulties that creates for them.

 

Also, since they aren't married aren't they eligible for state assistance? I know from various readings the FLDS in Arizona/Utah/Texas and probably other states take in a great deal of state assistance for the multiple wives/children in health care etc. Several sources refer to it as "bleeding the beast". Don't know if that's happening here but I've wondered how Kody/Jannell (?) supported that large of a family.

[Susann]

She is only married to one man, she hasn't done anything illegal. I realize you could argue his unofficial marries constitute common-law marriages and therefore *could* be argued as illegal, but there is nothing illegal about her marriage.

 

Yes, you're right. Sorry, turning the wives around. I just think it's creepy for one guy to be living/having children with four different women at the same time. To me it doesn't matter if it is/isn't couched in religious terms.

[Veritaserum]

Yes, you're right. Sorry, turning the wives around. I just think it's creepy for one guy to be living/having children with four different women at the same time. To me it doesn't matter if it is/isn't couched in religious terms.

 

What I find odd is that it isn't illegal to do that so long as he doesn't call them wives....

[LND1218]

What I find odd is that it isn't illegal to do that so long as he doesn't call them wives....

 

If I understand it correctly, in states that recognize common law marriage it is illegal. The second two wives were common law wives in Utah. That's why they moved to Nevada.

[Susann]

What I find odd is that it isn't illegal to do that so long as he doesn't call them wives....

Good point-hadn't thought of that!

[DB in NJ]

This lifestyle has worked for eons.

I sometimes think it would be great to have another woman around (as long as we got along) to raise children together. Sometimes I think we women have so much on our plate, a helpmate would be great.

 

That being said, I think this guy is odd, and from some of the examples of this lifestyle in recent times, the men seem to use the multiple women as a way of working less and being a user.

 

I think polygamy or typical marriage can be distorted from good to bad by the individuals in the relationship.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I need an Alice (like Carol Brady's Alice). Alice did everything around the house, but when it came to teA, Mike only had eyes for Carol! :tongue_smilie:

[Susann]

If I understand it correctly, in states that recognize common law marriage it is illegal. The second two wives were common law wives in Utah. That's why they moved to Nevada.

OK, I'm just confused now:confused: They were both considered his common law wives which was illegal in Utah. So, they moved to Nevada where common law marriages don't exist so he's just married to the first wive and living with the others? Is that right :001_huh:

[DB in NJ]

Reading a post on the Dugger Disappointment thread made me think of this....

 

What do you think of these folks? I don't mean polygamy in general, but these women/man specifically? I've only recently watched a few episodes, but wow. It's oddly mesmerizing. The guy seems like a first-class, narcississtic ahole. The kids don't seem like things are peachy keen with their lives. And if they're so religiously convicted to do this, how come there's never any footage of anything remotely religious? At least I haven't seen any, though admittedly I'm late to the party.

 

 

And I think one of the wives is fixin' to bail.

 

Thoughts?

 

astrid

 

You might be late to the party, but that pretty much sums it up!

[Mrs Mungo]

I agree with this:

The guy seems like a first-class, narcississtic ahole

 

And I think the Duggars seem pretty happy versus brainwashed, but I disagree with some of their beliefs/methods and don't think they are being totally forthright about their beliefs/methods, which would be none of my business if they weren't on my tv. I watch Sister Wives regularly and the Duggars only rarely. I find the former more entertaining. Entertaining is what I require out of my tv shows.