Poll: Do you buy/receive gifts from extended family?

[Sun]

I must admit I was surprised when I read in the other thread how many people's parents don't buy them birthday presents! It's something that's always done in my family, and I didn't realize it wasn't the norm for many. I'm now curious how the extended-family gift giving looks for people here.

[kewb]

For birthdays, my parents and in-laws give me a gift. For the kids, grandparents and parents give a gift. That is just how we roll.

[QuirkyKapers]

Parents and I give each other gifts at Christmas. Cards for b-days.

My brother and I have kids and we get each other kids gifts.

[DawnM]

Christmas has me a bit miffed with DH's family.

 

For years it was hit or miss.....one year they would send a box, the next they wouldn't.

 

I felt bad if we didn't reciprocate but then I never knew if we were getting a box or not.

 

I then ended up buying for them each year and they stopped sending to us completely.

 

Now I really don't know what to do. His mom sends a box but none of it is stuff we will use. She sent my 13 year old a preschool matching game this year! :lol: I have to laugh or I get very upset.

 

Meanwhile, my parents always send nice gifts. They ask us what we want and actually buy it, or give us gift cards.

 

So, I really don't know.....it is hit or miss with Dh's family and I don't really know if I should just stop with them altogether or just send something small or what. He has 4 siblings and they each have families.

 

Dawn

[gingersmom]

We only give gifts to the children.

 

My mother stopped giving me gifts about 10 years ago. My siblings stopped about 25 years ago.

[Daisy]

I didn't vote because I didn't see one that said NO gifts are exchanged for birthdays.

 

We call or text on the birthday and we send each other a card (no money).

 

The grandparents send the kids a birthday card with $10 in it.

 

We don't exchange gifts with siblings for birthdays or Christmas (by mutual decision). I typically buy my parents a gift card to a restaurant for Christmas and they send the kids a gift card to Target or $15.

[Acorn]

There is always a gift exchange for many occasions with everyone. Anyone else do hostess gifts or anniversary gifts with parents and inlaws? It isn't my choice, and our house is too FULL of STUFF so I wish it was different. I understand it more after hearing the summary of The Five Love Languages. I try hard to be patient and appreciate the gestures even if I prefer shared activities like a nature walk or trip to the zoo.

[Jenny in Florida]

I haven't seen or spoken to my extended family in years, which is fine with me.

 

When my in-laws were still with us, we would occasionally give or receive birthday gifts, but it was not a regular thing.

[twoxcell]

My parents haven't given me a birthday gift since I was probablly 19 nor do they always even acknowledge it. They have 14 grandkids so they just do kids gifts. My brothers do not give me gifts, but my sister does occcasionaly. My in-laws on the other hand are big on birthdays and do birthdays for their kids and their spouses.

[Stratford]

We exchange gifts with parents/parents-in-law and my sibling and his wife. We give gifts to nieces/nephews and my husbands siblings and their spouses but they do not reciprocate. And that is okay with me. I like to buy presents. DH isn't quite so thrilled with all the gifting but he certainly never complains when he receives a gift so I don't take his protestations very seriously. :tongue_smilie:

[The Girls' Mom]

Been trying like mad to get my dad and step-mom to stop the gift giving all together. They are not in a good position financially and have a child of their own to raise. After much begging and pleading, I stopped giving gifts in hopes that they would also stop (assuming it was a reciprical thing) They haven't :glare: But it has diminished somewhat.

 

My inlaws...we stopped birthday gifts just a couple of years ago. Before that it went both ways. Now we just stick to Christmas.

 

My siblings...we don't exchange.

[Pam Wilhelm]

No.

 

My family hasn't exchanged gifts at expected times in years..... over 25 years probably.

 

....and we finally got husband's family to stop/slow down on the present giving.

[KristinaBreece]

My mom gets gifts for the kids when she can afford it. This year, she had a lot of stuff hit her and wasn't able to buy Christmas gifts for them, or us. We told her not to worry about us (her older kids) or our kids, and to make sure she took care of her youngest. I know some people don't consider 17 a child, but in my family it's considered the last childhood year in terms of gift giving, so it was important to my brothers & I that he get something this year.

 

My dad/stepmom buy a LOT for the kids for Christmas and get them a couple of gifts for birthdays. They usually get one outfit & one toy for birthdays, and four or five outfits with a few toys for Christmas. For DH & I, they usually give us a gift card or a check for birthdays and Christmas.

 

ILs.... We could skip Christmas altogether as an immediate family & still no one would feel undergifted at Christmas time with my MIL around. I'm serious. For DH & I, they generally give us a gift card for birthdays and our anniversary. For kids birthdays, they usually give a couple of outfits, shoes, and a toy. Plus an outfit for Every. Single. Holiday. throughout the year. All of them.

[Murphy101]

Other

None of our extended family gives gifts and neither do we to them.

 

At Christmas we buy for others as we are able or inspired without expectation of reciprocation.

 

My in laws also buy birthday presents for the kids when they remember.

[jujsky]

I answered the poll as far as birthdays go. Christmas is different. I do exchange gifts with my brother, but I have only one brother. He's married to an only child and so am I, so it's not as though we have lots of siblings to buy for. We exchange gifts with my mom, ILs, my grandmother, Dh's grandmother, my brother & SIL, and one aunt & uncle I'm close to. Oh, and a great aunt. That's really about it. Other than that, it's all about the kids. Besides my own, there are a couple of my close friends' kids I buy for.

[TheReader]

I need an Other -- none of your choices accommodate "we don't give each other gifts in either direction" sorts of answers.

 

For birthdays ---

 

We do not give gifts to our parents, except my mom who has birthday gift issues.

Our parents do not give us birthday gifts, except my mom who sends a card (no gift), and my mom-in-law who sends a card (usually with money or gift card enclosed).

 

We do not give birthday gifts to our siblings; our siblings do not give birthday gifts to us.

 

Our parents are a mix of giving birthday gifts to our children, and our siblings/us to our siblings is a mix of giving/not giving birthday gifts to each other's children (ie, we do give to my SIL's son; not to my sister's kids; the same is true in reverse).

 

The exception would be for special/significant birthdays -- 30, 40, 50, 60, 65, etc. or for the kids 10, 13, 16, 18, etc. We would make sure and note those in our parents/siblings even though we otherwise we don't.

[DesertDweller]

I usually give a gift to my mom and grandmother for their birthday and at Christmas. Some years I do. Some years I don't. Depends on finances.

 

My mom gives a gift to me on my birthday most years and sometimes at Christmas.

 

In dh's family, we usually give a gift at Christmas to his dad and stepmom. They always give a gift. We don't do anything for them for birthdays.

 

I also try to at least send a card on Mother's Day.

 

I'm just not a gift giver or card person. I end up feeling pressured to get something and get it in the mail, so I typically do nothing.

 

Dh's family is huge. It would be alot to send cards and/or gifts. We're not that close with some of them anyway. My family isn't close. Other than my mom, they've never been much for gift giving. We're all spread out in different states making it that much harder. If we were living in the same town, we would probably do something as far as celebrating or gift giving.

[cottonmama]

For birthdays, we do gifts for parents, siblings, and siblings-in-law, but it's from our whole family -- i.e. my husband always chooses the gift for my in-laws, and signs my name, and I choose for my side but say it's from all of us. Except I choose for his brother's wife and he chooses for my sister's husband.

 

For Christmas, we add grandparents and our very closest friends to that.

[Tarreymere]

I need an other also.

 

My parents while alive did not give or get gifts.

 

My parents-in-law send cash at Christmas time to us especially and only to buy gifts for the kids. I make sure the kids know who paid for the gifts and that the kids phone the grandparents to thank them.

My parents-in-law send the kids small token amounts of cash in birthday cards.

 

No other extended family gift giving occurs.

 

I do not give gifts to my adult children, their spouses, or my grandchildren.

 

We don't give gifts for birthdays and we don't believe in gifts for the holidays. I don't mind getting the younger kids gifts from the in-laws cash, the in-laws love the kids and want to give them something they would really like but they don't get to spend much time with the kids so they leave it up to us. And I can't get mad at them for wanting to give the kids a present, even if we don't believe in it.

[Aquinas Academy]

I didn't see a "no gifts at all" option. My extended family had discussion about gift giving several years ago and everyone agreed not to give gifts at birthdays (except perhaps for some of the more significant years) and Christmas. I usually make charitable donations in my parents', MIL's, and siblings' names at Christmas.

[Ginevra]

I could not vote about siblings, because we don't usually exchange gifts between siblings. For Christmas, we play a gift-exchange game. The family is too big to buy everyone individual gifts. We also split up the nieces and nephews; each family only gets Christmas and birthday gifts for those two children for that year. I'm a very big fan of doing it this way.

[Splinter]

My parents, siblings and I are very close, so we exchange gifts for birthdays and Christmas every year.

 

My ex-parents-in-law (what a mouthful) send gifts from Norway for each of the kids' birthdays. Their birthdays are both in July, so the kids make cards and I send pictures along with them. The same goes for Christmas.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

hmmmmm I give birthday/holiday gifts (usually small "happies"-personal things) to a few sisters that I"m close to--I did used to buy for everyone but that kinda got out of hand/crazy so now it's just between a few people--even at christmas....I have a few people I buy for and everyone else gets a card with holiday pics....

[TechWife]

I give gifts to my parents for Christmas, birthdays, mother's day, father's day and their anniversary. Usually a restaurant gift certificate or a WalMart gift certificate. They do not send us presents for financial reasons.

 

In my extended family, we give everyone under the age of 18 or who is in college gets a Christmas gift. Right now that is 7 great-nieces and 4 (soon to be 5) great-nephews. All of our nieces and nephews are adults with their own children. Siblings in my family do not give gifts. Instead, there is a white elephant exchange on Christmas Eve for everyone that is in town (my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews). We do usually send an arrangement of some sort to my sister-in-law - either a centerpiece or an edible arrangement.

 

We send cards for all birthdays (ok, I try to send cards for all birthdays), but only send gifts for the big ones - 1, 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 (and they are small gifts). We also send graduation checks and wedding checks to nieces & nephews, so I imagine we will be doing that for the greats in a few years as well.

[mom2scouts]

We don't buy or receive birthday gifts from our parents or anyone in our extended family. Birthdays are celebrated with immediate family here. We invite the grandparents to the children's birthdays but they don't bring gifts.

[mommymilkies]

My mom very rarely buys me a present. My dad never has, but has sent me gift certificates or candy for Christmas on occasion. My in-laws send me a card and $30. I try to remember theirs and we call. Rarely we go in for a present for them with my other SILs. I buy stuff for my brothers. They once went in on a present for me...7 years ago? And one of my brothers bought me a movie and a couple toys for my kids (he was in high school) one year for Christmas. My side of the family is not big on gifts. My grandmother has never given me any even though I was a "favorite". But they are all pretty poor. Dh's family lives for gift giving. I find it freaky and unnatural and still have not gotten in the hang of it. :lol: