S/O appearances: Do you compliment people?

[Onceuponatime]

When a friend or someone you know looks "sharp" or well dressed, however you want to define that, do you tell them? When you notice someone has taken pains with their appearance, do you compliment them?

 

In the reverse, do you like to be complimented on your appearance?

 

Is there any kind of ettiquette involved in compliments?

 

I tried an experiment recently and began sincerely complimenting some of the older ladies at church who obviously make an effort to look "put together." If they are past 60, they seem to appreciate the attention, but younger than that sometimes seem uncomfortable and unsure how to take it.

 

I'm trying to find more ways to validate others by making positive statements to them, but I'm not sure if this is one of the best ways. Any ideas on the subject?

[Mrs Mungo]

Yes, I compliment people all the time.

 

I just love your hair, I'm looking for a hairdresser, where do you get your hair cut?

 

I love that color on you!

 

Your necklace is lovely, what an interesting piece!

[UnsinkableKristen]

Yep! In fact, I try to compliment everyone I talk to over something (not necessarily appearance, but probably mostly that).

 

I want the people I talk with to know that I've actually paid attention to them and noticed what is pleasant about them.

[Belacqua]

Yes, I compliment people all the time.

 

I just love your hair, I'm looking for a hairdresser, where do you get your hair cut?

 

I love that color on you!

 

Your necklace is lovely, what an interesting piece!

 

I'll compliment people as Mrs. Mungo does, by mentioning something specific. But if I think somebody looks just overall put-together, I can't figure out how to say that without seeming like I'm either hitting on her or suggesting that she normally looks like something the cat played with and left under the table.

[JulieH]

yes I always compliment people and I also appreciate compliments and try to be gracious in receiving them.

[Rosie_0801]

Yes, I'll compliment people, even random people who walk past me wearing something fabulously interesting. If someone feels uncomfortable about being complimented, they'll probably benefit from practice.

 

 

 

Rosie

[regentrude]

I compliment - but carefully. You do not want to make it sound as if you are surprised that they happen to look good for once, as opposed to their normal unattractive appearance

I learned this lesson when my mother's MIL complimented mom on her clean house... that did NOT go over well with my mom because she heard an undertone as if she was not expected to have a clean house.

Some things are hard to compliment on - I mean, how DO you compliment somebody on losing weight without at the same time admitting that you had noticed that they were fat before?

[LibraryLover]

Yes, I compliment people all the time.

 

I just love your hair, I'm looking for a hairdresser, where do you get your hair cut?

 

I love that color on you!

 

Your necklace is lovely, what an interesting piece!

 

 

Yes. :)

[Denisemomof4]

I compliment people all the time.

[The Girls' Mom]

Yes, I love to compliment people. It often brightens their mood.

 

I did a little experiment just the other day. The lady at our dry cleaner is a very stereotypical middle aged Russian woman. Large, very stern and a little intimidating. She's never been rude, but never friendly or chatty either. The last time I was in, I noticed a gorgeous bead bracelet she was wearing. I told her I thought it was beautiful. Her whole demeanor changed.She smiled, talked about the weather ("it is so hot, I feel like roast chicken in car" :lol:) and was just so friendly. It was SO worth it to step out a little and compliment her.

[Jen in PA]

yes I always compliment people and I also appreciate compliments and try to be gracious in receiving them.

 

:iagree:

[Kathleen in VA]

Yes, I compliment people all the time.

 

I just love your hair, I'm looking for a hairdresser, where do you get your hair cut?

 

I love that color on you!

 

Your necklace is lovely, what an interesting piece!

 

This is me, too. I'm not sure why, but I do notice when a color makes a person's countenance "pop" or when they are wearing a piece of jewelry that particularly sparkles. I do tend to mention it and I usually get a simple "Thank you" in reply.

 

I used to find it awkward when someone complimented me - left me kind of tongue-tied (pretty common experience for me). Anyway, after watching Casablanca I decided that I would use Ilsa's response when she was complimented on her dress, "You are very kind." At least now I have something to say and I don't feel so awkward any more.

[Heather in Neverland]

I compliment people all the time but I admit that I am not good at taking compliments. I get embarrassed.

[Rosie_0801]

I compliment people all the time but I admit that I am not good at taking compliments. I get embarrassed.

 

You just need practice.

 

What a happy, casual avatar you have there. I've always liked it. :)

 

;)

Rosie

[PiCO]

I mean, how DO you compliment somebody on losing weight without at the same time admitting that you had noticed that they were fat before?

 

Try saying, "You're looking really healthy lately. Are you doing something different in your life?"

 

My weight has gone up and down a lot over the past few years. I don't like to here, "you've lost weight!" because Im not sure it will stay off.

 

But I still think it's important to take a compliment without making the giver feel bad. I like the "You're so kind" response- I'm going to use it.

[twoforjoy]

I like to compliment people, but I generally don't compliment people on their appearance.

 

The exception is interesting knitwear. As a knitter, I notice knitwear that's unusual or interesting or looks handmade, and I'll sometimes comment on that.

[~Tara~]

Yes, I compliment people all the time.

 

I just love your hair, I'm looking for a hairdresser, where do you get your hair cut?

 

I love that color on you!

 

Your necklace is lovely, what an interesting piece!

 

Yep, I do this too. :)

I try to do so more frequently...I get lazy sometimes. (thanks for the reminder :))

I appreciate when I am complimented in like manner.

 

As mentioned already, I feel someone is *noticing* me. I don't desire lots of attention (oh goodness no) but it is nice to be noticed or acknowledged from time to time. :)

 

So I try to return that favor.

 

And especially to the pregnant mamas. I know I often felt blah and ugly when that big ole belly was sticking out there. So I want to be sure to lift them up when I can.

[mytwomonkeys]

i try to think of nice things to say to people. it doesn't have to be appearance related though. i do compliment people though. you can always find something nice to say. do i like compliments? only from my husband. he does a good job too:)

[Parrothead]

When a friend or someone you know looks "sharp" or well dressed, however you want to define that, do you tell them? When you notice someone has taken pains with their appearance, do you compliment them?

Yes.

 

In the reverse, do you like to be complimented on your appearance?

Sure, why not?

 

Is there any kind of ettiquette involved in compliments?

It might be best to be sincere and smile. As opposed to grouchy and rude about it.

 

I tried an experiment recently and began sincerely complimenting some of the older ladies at church who obviously make an effort to look "put together." If they are past 60, they seem to appreciate the attention, but younger than that sometimes seem uncomfortable and unsure how to take it.

Interesting.

 

I'm trying to find more ways to validate others by making positive statements to them, but I'm not sure if this is one of the best ways. Any ideas on the subject?

Other than positive personal statements I'm not sure.

[JeneralMom]

I compliment people all the time but I admit that I am not good at taking compliments. I get embarrassed.

 

Same here. I need to learn to be more gracious about accepting compliments. Usually I just mumble "thank you" and, apparently, turn either pink or red.

[Laurie4b]

Yes, I'll compliment people, even random people who walk past me wearing something fabulously interesting. If someone feels uncomfortable about being complimented, they'll probably benefit from practice.

 

 

 

Rosie

 

I also will compliment strangers if a particular color looks great on them. Same with people I know--something specific that really stands out. Most people seem happy with compliments like that.

 

I do not tend to give global compliments like, "You look great."

[Happy]

I compliment - but carefully. You do not want to make it sound as if you are surprised that they happen to look good for once, as opposed to their normal unattractive appearance

I learned this lesson when my mother's MIL complimented mom on her clean house... that did NOT go over well with my mom because she heard an undertone as if she was not expected to have a clean house.

Some things are hard to compliment on - I mean, how DO you compliment somebody on losing weight without at the same time admitting that you had noticed that they were fat before?

 

I say 'you are looking great today. What have you been doing to yourself?' or some variation of that. That way if its the hair or the weight or they've been working out, they get to brag.

 

Yesterday I complimented an older woman at church just that way. Her reply? "They finally got my medicine right!' I loved it. :lol:

 

My husband did a variation to a guy recently. The man had lost 17lbs. and very few people were noticing. It made the guy's day.

 

I routinely compliment people on things they wear or accessorize. Random strangers. I've been known to walk by someone in the grocery store and say 'great shoes' or 'nice purse' as I charge by with my cart. Drive by compliments...spread some today!:tongue_smilie:

[Britomart]

Yep! And "oh your shirt is so pretty" or "I love those earrings" or whatever I happen to notice.

[MrsMe]

Yes!

[JessReplanted]

Yes, I try to compliment other women who I am friends with, but I keep it simple.

"I like your shirt."

"That's a pretty color on you."

"What a pretty necklace."

"You look so nice today."

 

But I don't fake compliment. If I don't mean it, then I don't say it. ;)

[*~Tina~*]

Absolutely! I find most people appreciate it and it's an easy way to brighten someone's day! :D

[Peela]

I compliment people readily if I notice something...a new hair colour or style, a colour they are wearing- some sort of change that catches my eye. I don't make much effort though...it just happens fairly naturally.

Some people dont handle complements well...I agree, they will benefit from practice.

It is tricky complementing people on losing weight. I haven't found a way to feel really comfortable about that except that if they wanted to lose weight, and they have, its actually quite an accomplishment that I feel does deserve some sort of recognition.

I also compliment random strangers sometimes- except I dont even know if you call it a complement- such as the woman I saw wearing an amazing patchwork coat she had made out of colourful woollen blankets. I realised it was handmade and unique and its the sort of thing I would love myself- so I told her I thought it was amazing. Is that a compliment? To me it was genuine appreciation of the work and creativity that had gone into her coat.

[AuntieM]

Yes, when I have something genuine to share. I also appreciate a sincere compliment. But I do try to make compliments on things other than appearance, iykwim. "That was such a kind gesture" versus "I like your shirt." I got into that habit after reading the idea in some mothering book or article years ago. It's good for kids (mine anyway) to focus complimemts on something other than appearances.

 

I will compliment my teen daughter's appearance if she seems nervous about it, like when attending a special function or going somewhere that she doesn't know a lot of other attendees.

 

I would probably give more compliments on hair or clothing articles, but I really dislike lengthy conversations about handbags and shoes and manicures, and I'm always afraid a compliment will spiral Ou of control into one of *those* conversations.

 

But that's just me, and I am admittedly weird about this kind of thing.

[DianeW88]

Yes. Either on something specific like a haircut or shoes or an outfit I like, or just a general, "You look so cute today!" if it's an overall sunny attitude or a smile that I'm noticing.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Absolutely!!

 

About a decade ago it was my New Year's Resolution to pass along "good gossip". For example,"You husband said that he loves your cooking" or what have you. I do not tend to compliment people on physical appearance, but definitely on character!

 

There is so much negative in this world I think that whenever I can pass along 'good gossip' it can only increase happiness! :001_smile:

[QuirkyKapers]

Yep- I compliment :) I know that I have really had to work at being able to graciously accept them. It is much easier for me to give them!

[Hoggirl]

I am glad to read this thread, because I am realizing that I probably do compliment more on appearances than anything else. Probably because it is easy to articulate. I do try and compliment on other things as well, but I think I need to be more purposeful about it. I did compliment a friend just today on how well she writes (in response to an e-mail she had sent me). And, not too long ago I complimented a friend by telling her how much I admire her parenting style. But, I don't give those types as much as I should. I'm going to work on that.

 

I will also compliment strangers on clothing/accessory items.

[rwjx2khsmj]

I love to compliment people.

 

By the way, that was a great question!;)

[Soror]

All the time.

[Heather in Neverland]

You just need practice.

 

What a happy, casual avatar you have there. I've always liked it. :)

 

;)

Rosie

 

why THANK YOU Rosie. :D

 

That picture was taken a couple of years ago in the parking lot of the Motley Crüe concert. My brother got me tickets for my birthday because the first concert I ever went to when I was a teenager was Motley Crüe. Oh, there was also a keg in the back of that van I am standing in front of. :tongue_smilie: I'm just a teensy bit rebellious.

[Heather in Neverland]

Absolutely!!

 

About a decade ago it was my New Year's Resolution to pass along "good gossip". For example,"You husband said that he loves your cooking" or what have you. I do not tend to compliment people on physical appearance, but definitely on character!

 

There is so much negative in this world I think that whenever I can pass along 'good gossip' it can only increase happiness! :001_smile:

 

What a great idea!!!!!!

[Mrs Mungo]

This is me, too. I'm not sure why, but I do notice when a color makes a person's countenance "pop" or when they are wearing a piece of jewelry that particularly sparkles. I do tend to mention it and I usually get a simple "Thank you" in reply.

 

Do you have a bit of an ADD streak? People who are ADD tend to focus on details, they notice things like that more than other people. They are much more likely to notice when someone has lost weight, has had a haircut or has new shoes.

 

I used to find it awkward when someone complimented me - left me kind of tongue-tied (pretty common experience for me). Anyway, after watching Casablanca I decided that I would use Ilsa's response when she was complimented on her dress, "You are very kind." At least now I have something to say and I don't feel so awkward any more.

 

That is a good idea. I think HTWF&IP suggests returning a compliment in kind. Not in a fake way, something genuine. So, maybe you would say, "Aw, thank you, I love your (whatever)!" I am not always good at doing this, but it seems like a good idea.

[Kathleen in VA]

Do you have a bit of an ADD streak? People who are ADD tend to focus on details, they notice things like that more than other people. They are much more likely to notice when someone has lost weight, has had a haircut or has new shoes.

 

 

 

That is a good idea. I think HTWF&IP suggests returning a compliment in kind. Not in a fake way, something genuine. So, maybe you would say, "Aw, thank you, I love your (whatever)!" I am not always good at doing this, but it seems like a good idea.

 

About the ADD - well, I've often wondered that. When I was in school I was punished a lot for getting up out of my seat, talking unnecessarily, interrupting, etc. I was a problem child.:D They didn't have those labels back then - I was just annoying.

 

I did check that book out from the library and read it - it's sitting here next to me - but didn't make a mental note of that particular suggestion. Thanks for pointing it out - it sounds a lot nicer to add a return compliment. Guess I need to go back and take some notes this time through.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I take almost no pains with my own appearance most of the time, but I do notice when others do. I do compliment people on their hair styles, cute clothes or jewelry, pretty nail polish, etc. I can appreciate these things on others, just don't care to spend the energy on myself.