I saw something today that broke my heart

[Hedgehog]

I don't normally share experiences like this - but this really hurt me today.

 

I went to my local grocery store this evening at around 9:30pm, to pick up milk and bread, and as I was walking from my car to the store entrance I saw a woman with a large, full shopping cart arrive at her car. As she opened the trunk, I could hear the sounds of a young child crying distraughtly, hoarse and choking. I looked across and it appeared that the child, who looked to be about 5 or thereabouts, was alone in the car. The woman made some comment about "so you won't be such a naughty boy next time will you?" although whether he heard it or not I really have no idea. She loaded her groceries into her car and then - without going to the child - shut the trunk down again! and took her cart to the corral, and this time I could hear the screaming through the closed car door. I felt physically sick in my stomach... and wished so much that I wasn't such a rabbit, always frightened of strangers and confrontation. On the odd occasion I witness something like this, I can never think of what to say.

 

I tried to think of why it could have happened justifiably, but I'm afraid I was only trying to make myself feel better about what I'd seen. Is there any excuse for a parent leaving a child alone in a car, at night, for what could have been a good half hour or more? My goodness, I am a strict parent, but that certainly isn't in my book as a reasonable punishment for any kind of bad behavior. :crying:

[LaxMom]

:(

 

No, there is no justifiable cause for that.

[Parrothead]

It is a wonder someone didn't call the cops if that kid had been screaming and alone all that time.

 

:grouphug:

[Grover]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know. I have done this with my own DS - we got to the checkout and he simply would not do as he was told (running off, taking things of shelves, screaming, arguing). He was warned and did not listen so I asked the checkout person to keep ringing things up and I'd be back shortly. I carried him out of the shop and locked him in the car (right in front of the shop) and went back in, paid and then went back out. My DS is an inveterate 'plot loser' and was screaming fit to wake the dead - I'm sure it sounded to all around like he was being murdered, but in reality, he was having a tantrum because he did not get his own way. He was in the car for no more than two minutes on his own (and I did exactly what you described too, opened the boot, put the groceries in then left him to it while I returned the trolley). He is well aware of the consequences of not doing as he's told, and there is no way I'm going to continue to give him attention for disobedience, but at the same time I didn't have the luxury of just leaving the groceries and going back later. He's better nowadays, but is still prone to extremely noisy melt downs when he doesn't get his own way - not helped by strangers trying to talk to him when I'm removing him from the situation.

[NotSoObvious]

Wow. One time I saw a child that young in a car alone (not buckled, walking around) at the grocery store and I went and told a clerk. I told her I was worried that the child would try to get out of the car and be hit. I told her I just wanted someone to know, and I pointed the van out to her, which she could see from the window.

A few minutes later, they were paging the owner of the van because the alarm was going off. Sure enough, the 5 year old had tried to get out.

 

It's so stupid. So many things could happen. It's illegal in CA now.

 

From now on, I'm going to write down license plates and call it in when it is a child that looks younger than school aged.

 

I can't imagine leaving my child screaming. We all do things out of frustration, but usually we sit outside the door, not go grocery shopping!

[NotSoObvious]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know. I have done this with my own DS - we got to the checkout and he simply would not do as he was told (running off, taking things of shelves, screaming, arguing). He was warned and did not listen so I asked the checkout person to keep ringing things up and I'd be back shortly. I carried him out of the shop and locked him in the car (right in front of the shop) and went back in, paid and then went back out. My DS is an inveterate 'plot loser' and was screaming fit to wake the dead - I'm sure it sounded to all around like he was being murdered, but in reality, he was having a tantrum because he did not get his own way. He was in the car for no more than two minutes on his own (and I did exactly what you described too, opened the boot, put the groceries in then left him to it while I returned the trolley). He is well aware of the consequences of not doing as he's told, and there is no way I'm going to continue to give him attention for disobedience, but at the same time I didn't have the luxury of just leaving the groceries and going back later. He's better nowadays, but is still prone to extremely noisy melt downs when he doesn't get his own way - not helped by strangers trying to talk to him when I'm removing him from the situation.

 

True, but still hard to watch.

[gingersmom]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know.

 

Even for one minute is too long for me. Inexcusable behavior on the parents part.

 

I would have called 911 and given them the cars license plate number.

[Joanne]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know. I have done this with my own DS - we got to the checkout and he simply would not do as he was told (running off, taking things of shelves, screaming, arguing). He was warned and did not listen so I asked the checkout person to keep ringing things up and I'd be back shortly. I carried him out of the shop and locked him in the car (right in front of the shop) and went back in, paid and then went back out. My DS is an inveterate 'plot loser' and was screaming fit to wake the dead - I'm sure it sounded to all around like he was being murdered, but in reality, he was having a tantrum because he did not get his own way. He was in the car for no more than two minutes on his own (and I did exactly what you described too, opened the boot, put the groceries in then left him to it while I returned the trolley). He is well aware of the consequences of not doing as he's told, and there is no way I'm going to continue to give him attention for disobedience, but at the same time I didn't have the luxury of just leaving the groceries and going back later. He's better nowadays, but is still prone to extremely noisy melt downs when he doesn't get his own way - not helped by strangers trying to talk to him when I'm removing him from the situation.

 

Locking a child in a car, at night, as punishment is dangerous and not acceptable. Even for "2 minutes".

 

OP, I'm sorry that you witnessed that and deeply worried for that child. Once or twice, I've witnessed similarly disturbing scenes. They are hard to "shake".

 

:grouphug:

[Hedgehog]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know. I have done this with my own DS - we got to the checkout and he simply would not do as he was told (running off, taking things of shelves, screaming, arguing). He was warned and did not listen so I asked the checkout person to keep ringing things up and I'd be back shortly. I carried him out of the shop and locked him in the car (right in front of the shop) and went back in, paid and then went back out. My DS is an inveterate 'plot loser' and was screaming fit to wake the dead - I'm sure it sounded to all around like he was being murdered, but in reality, he was having a tantrum because he did not get his own way. He was in the car for no more than two minutes on his own (and I did exactly what you described too, opened the boot, put the groceries in then left him to it while I returned the trolley). He is well aware of the consequences of not doing as he's told, and there is no way I'm going to continue to give him attention for disobedience, but at the same time I didn't have the luxury of just leaving the groceries and going back later. He's better nowadays, but is still prone to extremely noisy melt downs when he doesn't get his own way - not helped by strangers trying to talk to him when I'm removing him from the situation.

 

This was the kind of scenario I tried to think up in order to help myself deal with what I'd seen, and I sincerely hope it was the case (or something very similar). It is just very hard to watch, and not know for sure that everything is okay.

[springmama]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know. I have done this with my own DS - we got to the checkout and he simply would not do as he was told (running off, taking things of shelves, screaming, arguing). He was warned and did not listen so I asked the checkout person to keep ringing things up and I'd be back shortly. I carried him out of the shop and locked him in the car (right in front of the shop) and went back in, paid and then went back out. My DS is an inveterate 'plot loser' and was screaming fit to wake the dead - I'm sure it sounded to all around like he was being murdered, but in reality, he was having a tantrum because he did not get his own way. He was in the car for no more than two minutes on his own (and I did exactly what you described too, opened the boot, put the groceries in then left him to it while I returned the trolley). He is well aware of the consequences of not doing as he's told, and there is no way I'm going to continue to give him attention for disobedience, but at the same time I didn't have the luxury of just leaving the groceries and going back later. He's better nowadays, but is still prone to extremely noisy melt downs when he doesn't get his own way - not helped by strangers trying to talk to him when I'm removing him from the situation.

 

Even for 2 minutes, that is incredibly dangerous. You and he are both lucky nothing unfortunate happened. Have you ever seen the website http://www.kidsandcars.org? You may want to check it out to find out what can and does happen when little ones are left alone in and around cars. Much more than you think. I have to stop now before I get ugly.

[Hedgehog]

Locking a child in a car, at night, as punishment is dangerous and not acceptable. Even for "2 minutes".

 

OP, I'm sorry that you witnessed that and deeply worried for that child. Once or twice, I've witnessed similarly disturbing scenes. They are hard to "shake".

 

:grouphug:

 

Thank you.. they are hard to remove from your mind, aren't they. This is why I couldn't carry on counselling - I just couldn't leave my work "at work".

 

 

 

Thanks for letting me talk it out, anyway.

[gardening momma]

Even for one minute is too long for me. Inexcusable behavior on the parents part.

 

Locking a child in a car, at night, as punishment is dangerous and not acceptable. Even for "2 minutes".

:iagree:

 

ETA: forget the smiley face with that "I agree."

[Hedgehog]

I don't think this was the case, because of what the mother said to the child when she opened the trunk, but - supposing you took your child to the store in the evening - maybe because you were a single mom or something, you had no choice - and your child fell asleep on the way - would you leave them in the car sleeping? See I wouldn't, I would wake them up and carry them, but then like I said I am scared of many things and leaving young children alone anywhere is a no-no for me.

[5kidsforME]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know. I have done this with my own DS - we got to the checkout and he simply would not do as he was told (running off, taking things of shelves, screaming, arguing). He was warned and did not listen so I asked the checkout person to keep ringing things up and I'd be back shortly. I carried him out of the shop and locked him in the car (right in front of the shop) and went back in, paid and then went back out. My DS is an inveterate 'plot loser' and was screaming fit to wake the dead - I'm sure it sounded to all around like he was being murdered, but in reality, he was having a tantrum because he did not get his own way. He was in the car for no more than two minutes on his own (and I did exactly what you described too, opened the boot, put the groceries in then left him to it while I returned the trolley). He is well aware of the consequences of not doing as he's told, and there is no way I'm going to continue to give him attention for disobedience, but at the same time I didn't have the luxury of just leaving the groceries and going back later. He's better nowadays, but is still prone to extremely noisy melt downs when he doesn't get his own way - not helped by strangers trying to talk to him when I'm removing him from the situation.

 

I understand this is a frustrating situation. BUT why take the time to take him to the car and leave him in a potential dangerous situation? The only reason I can think of is so no one in the store has to listen to him and so you don't have to deal with it right then. Although I get that, I don't agree with it.

 

It's obviously an unfortunate situation if a child acts like that but it does happen and if it were to happen at the store, oh well. If you were checking out, how long would the public be subject to his tanrtrum 5-10 minutes maybe? My child's safety is worth it to me to subject the patrons of the store to the few minutes of torture. I would just get over my embarrassment and try to get out of there as quick as possible.

 

That is not giving in to his disobedience either. You can deal with that when you get home.

[NanceXToo]

Even for one minute is too long for me. Inexcusable behavior on the parents part.

 

I would have called 911 and given them the cars license plate number.

 

:iagree:

[5kidsforME]

I don't think this was the case, because of what the mother said to the child when she opened the trunk, but - supposing you took your child to the store in the evening - maybe because you were a single mom or something, you had no choice - and your child fell asleep on the way - would you leave them in the car sleeping? See I wouldn't, I would wake them up and carry them, but then like I said I am scared of many things and leaving young children alone anywhere is a no-no for me.

 

Yes, I would wake them up. It is absolutely a no no. I feel for women in that situation, it stinks. But think about how much it would stink if something were to happen to the child.

[Grover]

Even for 2 minutes, that is incredibly dangerous. You and he are both lucky nothing unfortunate happened. Have you ever seen the website http://www.kidsandcars.org? You may want to check it out to find out what can and does happen when little ones are left alone in and around cars. Much more than you think. I have to stop now before I get ugly.

The car and child were in plain sight the whole time. The child was strapped into his car seat and too busy screaming his head off at the injustice of the world to do anything else. Yes, a lot of things *could* happen. But they usually don't.

[DaffodilDreams]

If it's not illegal, it most certainly should be. Our police dept recently sent out a warning advising parents not to leave their kids unattended in the car for any length of time -even to run in quickly to pay for gas. We're having a lot of gang activity in our area lately. Besides, temps are horrendous here, at least. This mom's behavior constitutes neglect IMO, and it makes me sick just to hear about it. As far as I'm concerned, there is absolutely no justifiable reason for this type of "punishment" - none, zero, zilch, nada. Rather than teaching a child to behave, this choice tells the child the parent cannot be trusted to keep him or her safe and puts the fear of abandonment in the child's mind.

Edited August 3, 2011 by kimmie38017

[Jennifer in MI]

I read something here once that has stuck with me. She said that she always says something because she wants that child to know that the parents' behavior is unacceptable. Even if it means that that child get an extra swat that night. Maybe, just maybe, that child will remember that someone stuck up for them and then they'll realize that that type of behavior is unacceptable.

 

I thought of that and said something the last time I saw someone hurting her child. This woman was walking VERY fast and expecting her 18 mo or 2 yo to keep up. His pants were FALLING down!!! Babe was crying mom was YELLING at him to keep up. When he didn't, she spanked him.

 

I said something. I know the child was young, but I sure hope he remembers.

 

:grouphug: I hate it when I see stuff like that.

[roxanne23]

.

Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23

[cloversandlions]

It's obviously an unfortunate situation if a child acts like that but it does happen and if it were to happen at the store, oh well. If you were checking out, how long would the public be subject to his tanrtrum 5-10 minutes maybe? My child's safety is worth it to me to subject the patrons of the store to the few minutes of torture. I would just get over my embarrassment and try to get out of there as quick as possible.

 

That is not giving in to his disobedience either. You can deal with that when you get home.

 

:iagree: When my ds was 3, he was in a preschool (which was attached to the local high school) and one day just before school was out for the holidays, the class teacher asked the pre-k kids' parents to bring in a dollar store toy to use as a gift exchange with the other preschoolers in the class. That evening, I took my son with me to pick out a toy. It all went well until he realized that he wasn't going to get a toy, too. He screamed and threw a most embarrassing (for me!) tantrum, but I had no choice, really - if I left, I wouldn't be able to return (dh was a grad student, and I also had a newborn at home), and I didn't want to show up empty-handed at the preschool the next day. So, without giving in, I stood in line for a very, very long ~5 minutes to pay for this toy. I do remember getting lots of advice about that - the older parents behind me in line told me not to give in, but the younger teen/20-somethings there were all more than a little annoyed. Too bad.

 

We paid and left. That was the only time he ever threw a tantrum for a toy in a store.

 

Now...dd? I've walked away from a cart (at Target - not the grocery store) and taken her home. There is just no way I'd leave my children in a car like that. Not even in a "safe" neighborhood.

 

I'm so sad for the little one whose world was probably so dark and scary last night. :crying: In a situation like the OP described, I'm not sure what I'd do, either; calling the police might not matter if the car leaves before they arrive.

[springmama]

The car and child were in plain sight the whole time. The child was strapped into his car seat and too busy screaming his head off at the injustice of the world to do anything else. Yes, a lot of things *could* happen. But they usually don't.

 

Have you never seen the video of a carjacker stealing a car in front of a mom while she paid at a gas station? Seriously. There is nothing that would make it safe to leave a child in a car alone. Especially in a public place.

[bbkaren]

I don't normally share experiences like this - but this really hurt me today.

 

I went to my local grocery store this evening at around 9:30pm, to pick up milk and bread, and as I was walking from my car to the store entrance I saw a woman with a large, full shopping cart arrive at her car. As she opened the trunk, I could hear the sounds of a young child crying distraughtly, hoarse and choking. I looked across and it appeared that the child, who looked to be about 5 or thereabouts, was alone in the car. The woman made some comment about "so you won't be such a naughty boy next time will you?" although whether he heard it or not I really have no idea. She loaded her groceries into her car and then - without going to the child - shut the trunk down again! and took her cart to the corral, and this time I could hear the screaming through the closed car door. I felt physically sick in my stomach... and wished so much that I wasn't such a rabbit, always frightened of strangers and confrontation. On the odd occasion I witness something like this, I can never think of what to say.

 

I tried to think of why it could have happened justifiably, but I'm afraid I was only trying to make myself feel better about what I'd seen. Is there any excuse for a parent leaving a child alone in a car, at night, for what could have been a good half hour or more? My goodness, I am a strict parent, but that certainly isn't in my book as a reasonable punishment for any kind of bad behavior. :crying:

 

I'm not afraid of confrontation myself but more of what the consequences would be on the child after I chewed out the mom. She'd be that much more angry. That's the kind of thing that kills me; if this is public behavior, what's it like at that house? :(

[5kidsforME]

The car and child were in plain sight the whole time. The child was strapped into his car seat and too busy screaming his head off at the injustice of the world to do anything else. Yes, a lot of things *could* happen. But they usually don't.

 

So I guess at least if something were to happen you would at least be able to see it in plain sight..right? You realize you may be able to SEE it, but being that far away you would not be able to STOP it, right?

[Grover]

I understand this is a frustrating situation. BUT why take the time to take him to the car and leave him in a potential dangerous situation? The only reason I can think of is so no one in the store has to listen to him and so you don't have to deal with it right then. Although I get that, I don't agree with it.

 

It's obviously an unfortunate situation if a child acts like that but it does happen and if it were to happen at the store, oh well. If you were checking out, how long would the public be subject to his tanrtrum 5-10 minutes maybe? My child's safety is worth it to me to subject the patrons of the store to the few minutes of torture. I would just get over my embarrassment and try to get out of there as quick as possible.

 

In this particular situation he was in more danger staying in the shop. I was not able to move both him and the trolley with is baby sister in it, and he was in danger of bringing the trolley over on himself. He was also attempting to run off alone into the car park, and I was not able to hold both him and the trolley safely. I believe at that time it was the best choice I could make... obviously I weighed up my options and knew that it would only be for a minute or two, the weather was not such that he would be in danger for that short time, he was restrained in the car and could be seen the whole time. Hysteria over what *could* happen but almost certainly won't seems to control some people. I'm quite happy with the decision I made that day, and I do not believe it endangered him in any way. If these fears are real for you, I'm sure glad I live in a part of the world where they are not reality for me.

[Paintedlady]

I would have been very sad and angry if I'd seen that as well. Hopefully it was only for a minute, but still...:confused:

 

I ended up having a very loud confrontation with a lady at Aldi's a few years ago. I was there shopping alone, probably for about 20 minutes, as was another lady with a little girl about 4 or 5 years old--she walked in right behind me and was behind me in the check out line.

 

When I got out to the parking lot I noticed a truck parked a couple spaces away with the engine running. It was a very expensive vehicle, an Escalade, and clearly no one was in it. It was puzzling b/c I just couldn't imagine someone leaving any car running while unattended in a parking lot, but especially not such an expensive one.

 

I'm not even done putting my groceries in my car when I noticed the little girl from the store come running out into the parking lot without her mom. She ran right over to the truck and opened the back door and lo and behold, there was a tiny baby in a car seat crying! :svengo:

 

I could hardly believe my eyes! I couldn't believe that woman in the store had left her infant in a running car unattended for 20 minutes and then sent her 4-5 yr. old out to check on him/her. Nothing about that woman indicated to me that she was in a hurry or worried. We were the only 2 people in the store at the time so it was hard not to notice her as we kept passing each other as we shopped.

 

I ran back into the store and immediately (and loudly) asked her if that was her INFANT left alone in her running vehicle? She basically brushed me off, saying that she left the car running so the baby would have air conditioning, until I got irate and started yelling at her. I was so upset I could hardly think straight. I told her I was going back outside to surpervise her baby and young child and that I was calling the police. She yelled back at me and went running outside, all the time telling me to mind my own business. I never did get to call the cops but in hindsight wished I'd done it right away. I think I was too shocked to react right away. It's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen! :cursing:

[5kidsforME]

In this particular situation he was in more danger staying in the shop. I was not able to move both him and the trolley with is baby sister in it, and he was in danger of bringing the trolley over on himself. He was also attempting to run off alone into the car park, and I was not able to hold both him and the trolley safely. I believe at that time it was the best choice I could make... obviously I weighed up my options and knew that it would only be for a minute or two, the weather was not such that he would be in danger for that short time, he was restrained in the car and could be seen the whole time. Hysteria over what *could* happen but almost certainly won't seems to control some people. I'm quite happy with the decision I made that day, and I do not believe it endangered him in any way. If these fears are real for you, I'm sure glad I live in a part of the world where they are not reality for me.

 

Well, that is perfectly fine, really. :D You made a decision and I totally disagree with you. Kinda cool that we can do that, eh? :001_smile:

 

As far as the bolded, I'd love to know where you live that nothing bad ever happens and children are always safe, in a car, strapped in, in a parking lot, not close to an adult who is responsible for him.

[NotSoObvious]

 

I ran back into the store and immediately (and loudly) asked her if that was her INFANT left alone in her running vehicle? She basically brushed me off, saying that she left the car running so the baby would have air conditioning, until I got irate and started yelling at her. I was so upset I could hardly think straight. I told her I was going back outside to surpervise her baby and young child and that I was calling the police. She yelled back at me and went running outside, all the time telling me to mind my own business. I never did get to call the cops but in hindsight wished I'd done it right away. I think I was too shocked to react right away. It's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen! :cursing:

:hurray::hurray::hurray:

That is unbelievable! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! If she has any sort of conscience, she will think about that interaction every time she thinks about leaving her kids in the car and the guilt will prevent her from doing so.

An infant. Of my gosh.

[Jennifer in MI]

I'm not afraid of confrontation myself but more of what the consequences would be on the child after I chewed out the mom. She'd be that much more angry. That's the kind of thing that kills me; if this is public behavior, what's it like at that house? :(

 

Read my previous post. Someone here once said that, when faced with this situation, she always considers the child. If she says something and the child might remember that someone stood up for him/her, she'll do it. I remember that when faced with this situation.

 

:grouphug: It's hard isn't it?

[gardenmom5]

:crying:

 

nothing justifies leaving a child in a car. In many states it's against the law. Did you catch the license plate number? you could have reported that to the police or CPS. they would be able to access the owner records. You do need to be careful about confrontation. some will attack you, and some will take their anger out on the child because they've been called out.

[jakesask]

As a child I spent many, many hours in cars waiting for my parents while they were at the accountant/lawyer/farm credit, etc. We lived on a farm, so anytime we went to a town where they had to do business, I went along, and had to wait in the car. Probably at least an hour during every trip. And sometimes I had to wait when they went into a plain old store, because it was quicker and easier without me. The doors of the car weren't always locked: an elderly woman actually got into the car once and sat down in the front seat, before she realized she had the wrong car.

 

I'm always surprised at it when I think back, because I wouldn't ever leave my daughter alone in a car, and I'm pretty sure people can get in serious trouble over these kinds of actions now. I suspect even my mother is surprised when she thinks back on it.

 

I too have seen a few problematic parenting practices in public places (often the grocery store) and I wish I were more courageous and spoke up about it more. Often I just make a loud remark about it to the person I'm with at the time; sometimes that's enough.

[justamouse]

THE KID WAS IN THE TRUNK??!?!??

 

:cursing::cursing::banghead::banghead::banghead:

[gardening momma]

THE KID WAS IN THE TRUNK??!?!??

 

:cursing::cursing::banghead::banghead::banghead:

No, I don't think so. Looking back at the OP, I'd say the "trunk" was the back door/hatchback door to the vehicle. So she could hear the child when that door was open, not that the child was in the trunk. She also said she could hear the child through the closed car door.

[Nakia]

There is absolutely no excuse for a 5 year old being left alone in a car even if for a few minutes. No excuse. I have a 5 year old, who is sometimes a true terror in the grocery store. I've never left her in the car as punishment or for any other reason. Good grief.

 

 

Wonder if that mom would have left a million dollars in the front seat? I doubt it. But she will leave her most precious child. Very sad.

[Jennifer in MI]

T

 

Wonder if that mom would have left a million dollars in the front seat? I doubt it. But she will leave her most precious child. Very sad.

 

GREAT point!!! I love it!!!!

[Daisy]

That's totally illegal in the state of California.

[unsinkable]

Just this wknd, I met my DH at a FF restaurant. DH was already inside when I got there and there was also a young father with a cute little baby strapped in a car seat.

 

DH said he and the dad had pulled into the parking lot about the same time and walked into the rest. within seconds of each other. The man got in line, waited a minute or so, then went back out to the car and got the baby!

 

DH said he couldn't tell if the dad had forgot him or thought better of his decision of leaving him in the car or what.

 

I think the dad forgot him. There was no one in line at the drive-thru and then the dad just sat at a booth with the baby in the car seat and ate his food. The baby was about 5 months old.

 

And before anyone asks, my DH had NO IDEA the dad had left a baby in the car. DH was parked no where near the dad.

[Slartibartfast]

I would have called the police. It is so hot here that leaving anyone in the car could be deadly.

[lionfamily1999]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know. I have done this with my own DS - we got to the checkout and he simply would not do as he was told (running off, taking things of shelves, screaming, arguing). He was warned and did not listen so I asked the checkout person to keep ringing things up and I'd be back shortly. I carried him out of the shop and locked him in the car (right in front of the shop) and went back in, paid and then went back out. My DS is an inveterate 'plot loser' and was screaming fit to wake the dead - I'm sure it sounded to all around like he was being murdered, but in reality, he was having a tantrum because he did not get his own way. He was in the car for no more than two minutes on his own (and I did exactly what you described too, opened the boot, put the groceries in then left him to it while I returned the trolley). He is well aware of the consequences of not doing as he's told, and there is no way I'm going to continue to give him attention for disobedience, but at the same time I didn't have the luxury of just leaving the groceries and going back later. He's better nowadays, but is still prone to extremely noisy melt downs when he doesn't get his own way - not helped by strangers trying to talk to him when I'm removing him from the situation.

You can't win.

 

If your son kept throwing his tantrum, screaming and doing goodness knows what else, people would have sniffed at your uncontrollable child and your inability to be a parent. If you would have ditched the groceries, people would have sniffed at your wasteful self-centeredness. If you'd taken him to the restroom and spanked him they would have called you abusive. People want to know where the parents have gone... they're in hiding, because they can't please everyone and the people they don't please want them arrested.

 

 

 

 

 

 

OP, I feel for you. I hate to see upset kids :( I do agree though, you don't know the whole story :grouphug:

[Annie Laurie]

I would have called the police. It is so hot here that leaving anyone in the car could be deadly.

 

That's what I was thinking. I don't know where the OP lives but here it was still 100 degrees at midnight last night.

[mom2denj]

Even for one minute is too long for me. Inexcusable behavior on the parents part.

 

I would have called 911 and given them the cars license plate number.

:iagree:

[Maria from IN]

Oh, no, no, no....

 

1. It's AUGUST!

2. He's 5 years old.

3. It's dark or getting dark.

4. Of course he's screaming his head off--it's 9:30 at night and he's exhausted...see #2.

 

Under no circumstances is that acceptable.

I agree with the previous poster that said get the license number and call the police.

[Pamela H in Texas]

It is inexcusable PERIOD.

It is also against the law most places.

Any parent doing so should be getting a good talking to by the police or CPS.

They need to learn some parenting skills at very least.

[Jryanbass]

I'm with Grover on this one. I see nothing wrong with leaving my children strapped in their carseats while I pay for gas, or run in the post office. I just don't live my life in fear of my kids being carjacked. Now, shopping in a grocery store? No. But running an errand that takes less than 5 minutes in the middle of the day in a busy place, I see no issue. Now a screaming child in the middle of the night like the OP said is a different story.

[StartingOver]

Even for one minute is too long for me. Inexcusable behavior on the parents part.

 

I would have called 911 and given them the cars license plate number.

This is me, I would have been on the phone while keeping an eye on the child.

[Elizabeth in MN]

Even for one minute is too long for me. Inexcusable behavior on the parents part.

 

I would have called 911 and given them the cars license plate number.

 

Where is the like button for this? I go a little crazy when I see parents abusing their children, and I intervene.

[SailorMom]

But you don't know the full story - you're guessing it may have been for an extended period, but you don't know. .

 

 

:iagree:

[SailorMom]

For all of those who would have dialed 911 without even asking the mom....

Might I ask that you keep in mind that HS'ers are accused of child abuse all the time by people who have no idea what is really going on???

 

For all anyone knows, this kid was in the car for 5 minutes. And it may be August, but it was dark out (9:30pm), and if the car had been a/c'd before, it wouldn't have heated up quickly at all.

 

Please - don't be so quick to judge and call the cops. Once the cops and CPS get involved, it can be a nightmare for perfectly good parents.

[Jryanbass]

For all of those who would have dialed 911 without even asking the mom....

Might I ask that you keep in mind that HS'ers are accused of child abuse all the time by people who have no idea what is really going on???

 

For all anyone knows, this kid was in the car for 5 minutes. And it may be August, but it was dark out (9:30pm), and if the car had been a/c'd before, it wouldn't have heated up quickly at all.

 

Please - don't be so quick to judge and call the cops. Once the cops and CPS get involved, it can be a nightmare for perfectly good parents.

 

:iagree:

 

Leaving my kids in the car while I run in to pay for gas IS NOT ABUSE.

[Catherine]

My thoughts exactly, lionfamily. Parents of young children are SO scrutinized. If anyone EVER spoke to my child in public, in order to reassure them what an ass their mother was, I'd be infuriated.