K&Rs Mom Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I got the invitation today for my SIL's shower. It's very nicely done, but included a gift tag for me to attach to my gift, with lines for who it's from and what the gift is (I guess to prevent someone having to keep track during the shower), and on the back is a spot to slide in the gift receipt (labeled - otherwise I wouldn't have known why it was there). This seems really tacky to me. It was all put together out of fancy scrapbook papers & ribbon - would have actually been less work to get one of the grandmas to write down the gifts, like every other shower I've ever been to. Has anyone else seen/done something like this? Am I just behind the times? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 My SIL just did this for my neice. From the tags they are making beautiful scrapbook pages with pictures of the gifts. Plus, it is a great way to keep up with receipts for the items in a not so obvious or easy to lose way. Not every one included a receipt. And for those duplicates (she doesn't need 3 crib comforters) this makes returns easier for her. But really, if you don't like the tag, don't use it. If you find it offensive, so be it. I think it is an ok thing to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzybluecheese Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I would have winced at this. It seems like so many showers (both baby and bridal) have things that just skirt proper etiquette. I printed out a baby shower registry the other day where the recipient actually listed specific stuffed animals she wanted for the baby. I'm probably behind the times, too. cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommee & Baba Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Personally I think it's a great way to save the tags in a scrapbook. Keeping everything themed and pretty. I had family write what they got and sign and I wish I would've done something prettier. I would just look at it as a keepsake for the baby. And call me crazy but I prefer to have a detailed list of what someone wants, rather than guessing. I had SO many people bring our family diapers when ds was born. I thanked them all so sweetly and later donated all the diaper to our local womens pregnancy clinic because we cloth diaper. I even listed this in my registry notes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Sometimes I just don't understand the etiquette stuff. I'm not known for my dainty cucumber sandwiches though. If something is actually RUDE, ok. But a new way of organizing gift receipts? How is it offensive to the sensibilities? I mean, we all know there will be gifts exchanged at a baby shower. It seems like we have to pretend that this will not happen. It doesn't come across as gift grubbing, or anything rude, to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I'm unsure why this would be considered a breach of etiquette. Is it because givers don't get to put on their own gift tags, or is it the receipt pocket? I'm not being snarky. I just don't get it. If I got something like that, I'd likely think that it was a nice way to keep things organized. I think it's not a bad idea. The point is to make things a little simpler for the mom-to-be, right? I don't think it's to find out how much people spent; it's to make it easier to deal with duplicate gifts. (Or gifts that aren't a good fit, like a bottle-warmer for a mom who intends to bf exclusively.) Having Grandma (or someone else) write things down is a lovely idea, but it doesn't always work well. I'd just chalk it up to the shower hostess thinking ahead and trying to be organized for the mom-to-be. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Personally I think it's a great way to save the tags in a scrapbook. Keeping everything themed and pretty. I had family write what they got and sign and I wish I would've done something prettier. I would just look at it as a keepsake for the baby. And call me crazy but I prefer to have a detailed list of what someone wants, rather than guessing. I had SO many people bring our family diapers when ds was born. I thanked them all so sweetly and later donated all the diaper to our local womens pregnancy clinic because we cloth diaper. I even listed this in my registry notes. Ditto. Things are changing. To the poster about stuffed animals: Is it possible that the mother to be is worried about allergens or safety? Some are better made than others. Some have no "fur" that can be problematic. Some have eyes or such that can pop off. Etc. Then add that many people are co-ordinating their nursery and it may go with their theme. Or it could simply be a naive young lady that was handed a scan gun and went a little happy-head with it. Try to think the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 It's a breach of etiquette because it demands a gift. That's not SO bad for a SHOWER, as it's generally a shower of gifts. It would be over the top terrible for any other occasion, but it's merely tacky for a shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Demand (perceived or outright) for a gift is a breach of etiquette. On the other hand, gifts are the whole purpose for a shower, hence showers being thrown by someone other than the guest of honor. If it was enclosed in a wedding invitation, THAT would be tacky. In a shower invite, I think that's clever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I actually think it's a great idea! I would not be offended at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 It's a breach of etiquette because it demands a gift. That's not SO bad for a SHOWER, as it's generally a shower of gifts. It would be over the top terrible for any other occasion, but it's merely tacky for a shower. :iagree: However, if there were a spot at the gift table to add the special tag it would be clever with zero tackiness attached. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djsmom Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I actually think it's a great idea! I would not be offended at it. :iagree: I think it's a great idea and would not be offended in the least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) Thanks, I appreciate your opinions - clearly this is a new trend that I hadn't encountered yet. I'm not trying to bash my SIL, just had never seen this before. Since it's almost unanimously seen as fine here, I'm learning something. It's a shower, so of course gifts are expected, and having the registry info in the invitation seemed totally normal to me. I'd normally just tape the gift receipt in the box lid so it doesn't get torn off with the paper, but I know how easy it is to lose them. Edited July 18, 2011 by K&Rs Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 :iagree: However, if there were a spot at the gift table to add the special tag it would be clever with zero tackiness attached. True. Also, at one shower I attended, one of the older women present announced very kindly after being verbally thanked for her present that she did not want a thank you note, that the expectant mother of twins would have plenty to do without that additional responsibility, and that verbal thanks were lovely and sufficient; and we all chimed in in assent. I thought that was nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzybluecheese Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Oh wow, I always say that I'm not going to get involved in threads like these. I am not the type to eat tiny sandwiches and walk around with my nose in the air. I was just trying to say that I understand the OP. I've always felt awkward when it came to asking people for gifts, I guess I always wanted to make it easier for them than for me. sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Wow, just wow. I think an invite just stating you need to give cash would have been more in my comfort zone. I got the invitation today for my SIL's shower. It's very nicely done, but included a gift tag for me to attach to my gift, with lines for who it's from and what the gift is (I guess to prevent someone having to keep track during the shower), and on the back is a spot to slide in the gift receipt (labeled - otherwise I wouldn't have known why it was there). This seems really tacky to me. It was all put together out of fancy scrapbook papers & ribbon - would have actually been less work to get one of the grandmas to write down the gifts, like every other shower I've ever been to. Has anyone else seen/done something like this? Am I just behind the times? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 True. Also, at one shower I attended, one of the older women present announced very kindly after being verbally thanked for her present that she did not want a thank you note, that the expectant mother of twins would have plenty to do without that additional responsibility, and that verbal thanks were lovely and sufficient; and we all chimed in in assent. I thought that was nice. I like this :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoforjoy Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 It was all put together out of fancy scrapbook papers & ribbon - would have actually been less work to get one of the grandmas to write down the gifts, like every other shower I've ever been to. Maybe the idea is to not have to assign anybody that job, so that everybody can enjoy the shower. Honestly, my first response was that it's tacky, but I think that's more my personal comfort level about things like this than with the tag itself. Thinking more about it, I actually think it makes a lot of sense, and could help make the process of opening gifts and writing thank-you notes a lot smoother and easier for the mom-to-be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I would have winced at this. It seems like so many showers (both baby and bridal) have things that just skirt proper etiquette. I printed out a baby shower registry the other day where the recipient actually listed specific stuffed animals she wanted for the baby. I'm probably behind the times, too. cat The way registries work -- you don't have a choice in the matter. You can't "teddy bear" you have to choose a specific one. Etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msk Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I think it's odd, but absolutely not something I'd care about one way or the other. It's not as though I'd attend a shower without bringing a gift, and gift receipts don't have prices marked on them. What is it about weddings and showers that makes them so fraught with ways for people to feel unwelcome, unappreciated, or slighted? And why does it seem to be the women who have these issues 99% of the time? I've come up with a new rule for these occasions: What Would a Man Do? If they wouldn't notice or care, perhaps I should reconsider why I do and decide whether it's something I should continue to care about or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I think it's odd, but absolutely not something I'd care about one way or the other. It's not as though I'd attend a shower without bringing a gift, and gift receipts don't have prices marked on them. What is it about weddings and showers that makes them so fraught with ways for people to feel unwelcome, unappreciated, or slighted? And why does it seem to be the women who have these issues 99% of the time? I've come up with a new rule for these occasions: What Would a Man Do? If they wouldn't notice or care, perhaps I should reconsider why I do and decide whether it's something I should continue to care about or not. My husband would say, "oh, wow, that just makes it easier" (in the situation of the teddy bear). No decision making, no wandering store aisles. Grab, pay, and go. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I wouldn't have thought anything about it. I would probably have thought it was clever before thinking it was tacky. At a baby shower, the mom is the one who should get things made easier. Baby showers are not about me, they are about the mom. And I totally understand asking about it on the board...It helps to hear others opinions, and I wouldn't assume the OP just wanted others to bash with her, but that she really wanted OTHER OPINIONS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Thanks, I appreciate your opinions - clearly this is a new trend that I hadn't encountered yet. I'm not trying to bash my SIL, just had never seen this before. Since it's almost unanimously seen as fine here, I'm learning something. I haven't seen it before, either, and yes, I think it's tacky. No, I don't think you're bashing your SIL; you're just surprised at the tackiness and trying to figure things out. That it is a "trend" doesn't make it less tacky. It just means that more people are making up their own etiquette rules. It's a shower, so of course gifts are expected, and having the registry info in the invitation seemed totally normal to me. I'd normally just tape the gift receipt in the box lid so it doesn't get torn off with the paper, but I know how easy it is to lose them. I would not include registry information, not for a baby shower. People who care enough might call the hostess, but most people need similar things for babies so I can't get worked up over a baby-gift registry. For that matter, I wouldn't include the gift receipt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 However, if there were a spot at the gift table to add the special tag it would be clever with zero tackiness attached. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I don't think it's tacky to have a specific registry. I think it's tacky to include registry information in an invitation, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I've come up with a new rule for these occasions: What Would a Man Do? If they wouldn't notice or care, perhaps I should reconsider why I do and decide whether it's something I should continue to care about or not. Brilliant. I will totally be doing this from now on :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I think the gift tag w/ built in receipt holder is a clever idea, and I don't find it tacky to include registry information in the invitation. Many people find it incredibly helpful. One still has the option to shop independent of the registry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I think the gift tag w/ built in receipt holder is a clever idea, and I don't find it tacky to include registry information in the invitation. Many people find it incredibly helpful. One still has the option to shop independent of the registry. Exactly. The world is busier than ever, regardless how much we wish it were different. I think people are trying to come up with ways to make things nice, but simpler all around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I've come up with a new rule for these occasions: What Would a Man Do? If they wouldn't notice or care, perhaps I should reconsider why I do and decide whether it's something I should continue to care about or not. Dh would forget to buy a gift, and then say, oh well, we'll get one for them sometime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Personally, I agree it is tacky. Where's the gratitude and appreciation for a thoughtful gift? If I got something like this, I wouldn't feel comfortable giving a hand knit hat or sweater which I often do for much beloved people. If someone wants to give you a shower great. Don't invite people you haven't seen for years and don't corner your guests into feeling like they need to follow a certain path to make you happy. Also, if someone told me I didn't need to write them a thank you, I definitely would anyway. Sorry - I think it's a lost art and good manners to personally thank someone for a SPECIFIC gift in writing and it really only takes minutes to do so. If you don't have time, maybe you should have had a smaller event. We were just at a b-day party for a 5 year old that had like 12 families and close to 40 people involved. The mom sent thank you notes that said "Dear Friend - thank you for the gift and for coming to my party". The 5 year old didn't even scribble on them in crayon. I'm surrounded by tacky lately. I just got invited to a shower for a young girl I barely know. Her dad is a former co-worker of my husband's. Want to take the decline, but my husband thinks I should go (not likely). My husbands niece is having a wedding out of state. We are literally driving 20-some odd hours to get there and taking a 2 week vacation so it doesn't feel rushed. We are not invited to the rehearsal dinner. Did I mention, this is a niece - not some 3rd cousin once removed. Also, I just got informed that I'm helping to throw a shower for this niece on a holiday weekend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Dh would forget to buy a gift, and then say, oh well, we'll get one for them sometime. And then never do so... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Dh would forget to buy a gift, and then say, oh well, we'll get one for them sometime. :iagree: There are a number of scenarios my DH might follow, but none of them would result in the gift recipient being happy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) I'm a real stickler for etiquette. (Even though I can't spell it properly.) I enjoy a bit of formality and the social rules of polite society. This is not to say that I'm uppity or trying to social climb. Normally any mention of a gift in an invitation is simply not the thing to do. But I think the idea described by the OP is brilliant. My dd's baby book has pages for the baby shower - who came and what they gave. It looks 1.)pitiful and 2.) tacky. I'd much rather have pretty gift tags that can be used in a scrapbookish type manner. Maybe, just maybe, for baby showers something like this should be acceptable. That said, I'd much rather be handed a pretty little tag by the hostess upon handing over my gift at the venue instead of it being enclosed in the invitation. And for those things that are hand made, no receipt is necessary. Giving an original handiwork is a lovely gift. Edited July 18, 2011 by Parrothead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Personally, I agree it is tacky. Where's the gratitude and appreciation for a thoughtful gift? If I got something like this, I wouldn't feel comfortable giving a hand knit hat or sweater which I often do for much beloved people. May I ask why? Is it because of the receipt receptacle built into the gift tag? When you do give a store bought gift do you include a gift receipt? I didn't take the inclusion of the receipt receptacle on the tag to indicate that only purchased gifts would be appreciated; rather, it just seems like a practical way to keep things organized. It wouldn't stop me from giving a handmade gift though. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I don't think it's tacky at all, I think it's a great idea. I also don't have issues with people including gift registry information in an invitation because that way I have it and can just go shopping. I don't live near my family, and I don't have time to play phone tag with the hostesses for all the showers I'm invited to in order to find out where someone is registered. I hate when there is no registry because darn it, I want to know what you want,I do not want to have to guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) I don't get posts like this. Clearly, you think it's tacky and you would like others to join you in beating up on your SIL. Isn't it enough for you to have your opinion? I was thinking this, though I'm sure I've participated in the virtual beatings in the past. Etiquette is not popular. Let's just get used to it and focus on doing the best we can. ETA: I'm in a great mood and make fantastic tea sandwiches! Edited July 18, 2011 by arghmatey To brag about tea sandwich skills Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Sorry if you hated my previous comment. But I will say that message boards are not as anonymous as you'd all like to think and that you are discussing real people, people who are in your families. And they may come across this post sometime. I came across something a SIL wrote about me online once and it hurt my feelings because that's how I found out how she really felt about me. So if you feel comfortable with the idea that your SIL could read this thread and know that you are talking about her, then good for you. This is the kind of question I would ask if I were the one throwing the party, before I sent out the invites. It's not the kind of thing I would go out online once I received an invitation to see if I should be insulted by the invitation. You either are insulted or you aren't, I really don't see why you need to check with other people. Are you planning to confront her on it, to prevent her from making such a fool of herself in the future? I just don't see what good could come of this. But I guess that's just me. Good luck with your family relations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 My SIL just did this for my neice. From the tags they are making beautiful scrapbook pages with pictures of the gifts. Plus, it is a great way to keep up with receipts for the items in a not so obvious or easy to lose way. Not every one included a receipt. And for those duplicates (she doesn't need 3 crib comforters) this makes returns easier for her. That sounds really nice. I generally tape the gift receipt into the card and I write what the gift was in the front of the card. Also, at one shower I attended, one of the older women present announced very kindly after being verbally thanked for her present that she did not want a thank you note, that the expectant mother of twins would have plenty to do without that additional responsibility, and that verbal thanks were lovely and sufficient; and we all chimed in in assent. I thought that was nice. I LOVE that, it's very generous. I've come up with a new rule for these occasions: What Would a Man Do? If they wouldn't notice or care, perhaps I should reconsider why I do and decide whether it's something I should continue to care about or not. That's brilliant, men just don't get so caught-up in these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) Sorry if you hated my previous comment. But I will say that message boards are not as anonymous as you'd all like to think and that you are discussing real people, people who are in your families. And they may come across this post sometime. I came across something a SIL wrote about me online once and it hurt my feelings because that's how I found out how she really felt about me. So if you feel comfortable with the idea that your SIL could read this thread and know that you are talking about her, then good for you. This is the kind of question I would ask if I were the one throwing the party, before I sent out the invites. It's not the kind of thing I would go out online once I received an invitation to see if I should be insulted by the invitation. You either are insulted or you aren't, I really don't see why you need to check with other people. Are you planning to confront her on it, to prevent her from making such a fool of herself in the future? I just don't see what good could come of this. But I guess that's just me. Good luck with your family relations! *sigh* Then you might want to start a thread just so you can personally chew out most of the board. Because many of us come here asking questions, advice, and giving our take on something to see if our thinking is correct or if there is something we are unaware of that has changed. Sometimes wording doesn't come out right in the first post, but clarity comes with listening. Eventually, you get to the heart of the person and some grace is required. For both sides: rules of etiquette can vary based on culture, area, social class, etc. Many young people are not taught some of these older rules, particularly if the previous generation had already tossed them aside in their family. Some people here have realised that some are more keen on the rules than others and would be good to ask about this or that. Edited July 18, 2011 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 May I ask why? Is it because of the receipt receptacle built into the gift tag? When you do give a store bought gift do you include a gift receipt? I didn't take the inclusion of the receipt receptacle on the tag to indicate that only purchased gifts would be appreciated; rather, it just seems like a practical way to keep things organized. It wouldn't stop me from giving a handmade gift though. :confused: I think between the enclosing registry info and the place to put the gift receipt, it would be saying to me "This mom only really wants stuff on the registry". If I buy something, of course, I absolutely include a gift receipt. And if their were tags on the gift table at the shower, I think it would be cute. I'm ok w/enclosing registry info tastefully with a shower invitation as long as it doesn't get super specific (i.e. cash or gift cards only, gifts from Nordstroms registry only please, etc). Anyway - I attend showers like this biting my tongue so sorry for the vent. I always think what Emily Post might say! :D She wouldn't even enclose registry info unless asked. I just find it sad how money grubbing and greedy some showers seem these days. A shower should be an optional gesture of love on a bride or couple. Not an entitlement of particular goods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) I'm a real stickler for etiquette. (Even though I can't spell it properly.) I enjoy a bit of formality and the social rules of polite society. This is not to say that I'm uppity or trying to social climb. Normally any mention of a gift in an invitation is simply not the thing to do. But I think the idea described by the OP is brilliant. My dd's baby book has pages for the baby shower - who came and what they gave. It looks 1.)pitiful and 2.) tacky. I'd much rather have pretty gift tags that can be used in a scrapbookish type manner. Maybe, just maybe, for baby showers something like this should be acceptable. That said, I'd much rather be handed a pretty little tag by the hostess upon handing over my gift at the venue instead of it being enclosed in the invitation. And for those things that are hand made, no receipt is necessary. Giving an original handiwork is a lovely gift. :iagree: I'm a stickler for the most part, too. I'm learning, the older I get though, that some things are not considered "proper" in different places, or less importance is placed on them. And I don't get the attitude from some that if we prefer etiquette to be followed, with reasonable flexibility, we're uppity snobs. But I like the tag idea. I didn't take from it that you couldn't do something homemade either. Edited July 18, 2011 by CathieC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Personally, I agree it is tacky. Where's the gratitude and appreciation for a thoughtful gift? I don't understand. How do you know they aren't grateful and thankful? Acknowledging that most people buy off of a registry is not the same thing as being ungrateful for a thoughtful and unique gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I don't think it's tacky at all, I think it's a great idea. I also don't have issues with people including gift registry information in an invitation because that way I have it and can just go shopping. I don't live near my family, and I don't have time to play phone tag with the hostesses for all the showers I'm invited to in order to find out where someone is registered. I hate when there is no registry because darn it, I want to know what you want,I do not want to have to guess. Well, really all one has to do is ask the hostess if the guest of honor is registered anywhere when one calls to RSVP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 *sigh* Then you might want to start a thread just so you can personally chew out most of the board. Because many of us come here asking questions, advice, and giving our take on something to see if our thinking is correct or if there is something we are unaware of that has changed. Sometimes wording doesn't come out right in the first post, but clarity comes with listening. Eventually, you get to the heart of the person and some grace is required. Hmm, well there is also Google if you'd like to anonymously check out your feelings on a topic because as many have pointed out, this question has been asked many times in the past on these boards and elsewhere. The answer to this is already out there...search for it and you don't run the risk of personally insulting someone. I also think it wouldn't hurt to show a little grace toward a pregnant woman who most likely wants to be sure to thank everyone who gets her a gift and not forget someone. This method, to me, is better than not getting any kind of thank you or a generic emailed thank you to a group of people because the intention, to personally thank you for your gift, is evident. Asking for gift receipts is brilliant too! I've received gifts from people that were duplicates or too small for my kids and didn't have a gift receipt, so the gift was a complete waste because I didn't have a receipt and I felt bad asking the person for one. As a gift giver I'd feel terrible if the recipient couldn't use the gift I gave. Of course, as always, the giver is not required to produce a receipt but it doesn't hurt to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) Hmm, well there is also Google if you'd like to anonymously check out your feelings on a topic because as many have pointed out, this question has been asked many times in the past on these boards and elsewhere. The answer to this is already out there...search for it and you don't run the risk of personally insulting someone. I also think it wouldn't hurt to show a little grace toward a pregnant woman who most likely wants to be sure to thank everyone who gets her a gift and not forget someone. This method, to me, is better than not getting any kind of thank you or a generic emailed thank you to a group of people because the intention, to personally thank you for your gift, is evident. Asking for gift receipts is brilliant too! I've received gifts from people that were duplicates or too small for my kids and didn't have a gift receipt, so the gift was a complete waste because I didn't have a receipt and I felt bad asking the person for one. As a gift giver I'd feel terrible if the recipient couldn't use the gift I gave. Of course, as always, the giver is not required to produce a receipt but it doesn't hurt to ask. I agree with the bolded part. Several of us pointed this out, but managed to do so without chewing out the OP for her initial shock. I've found coming here and asking a question to be much more expedient to attempting to find the answer on the net or wait for an answer on yahoo. I know people are around on this board. I know this board is diverse. I know this board may not just give an answer, but also a calm explanation as to WHY. :) Edited July 18, 2011 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I got the invitation today for my SIL's shower. It's very nicely done, but included a gift tag for me to attach to my gift, with lines for who it's from and what the gift is (I guess to prevent someone having to keep track during the shower), and on the back is a spot to slide in the gift receipt (labeled - otherwise I wouldn't have known why it was there). This seems really tacky to me. It was all put together out of fancy scrapbook papers & ribbon - would have actually been less work to get one of the grandmas to write down the gifts, like every other shower I've ever been to. Has anyone else seen/done something like this? Am I just behind the times? I love this idea! I love registries, too, though. I see them as a convenience for my benefit, not money-grubbing or selfishness on the part of the guest of honor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I also think it wouldn't hurt to show a little grace toward a pregnant woman who most likely wants to be sure to thank everyone who gets her a gift and not forget someone. The pregnant mom isn't throwing her own shower and presumably didn't make or send her own invites, so this may be all on whoever is throwing it actually and not at all a reflection on the SIL. I think making cute gift tags would actually be a really fun activity at a shower. I just wish people would put a little more effort into etiquette. Both on a giving and receiving end. A good guest would of course include a gift receipt in a "good location". A good host would make their guest feel welcome to bring any heartfelt gift they want. Maybe I'm odd that I wouldn't feel like I should bring a handmade gift to this party unless I was very, very close to the recipient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) *sigh* Nevermind. Tara Edited July 18, 2011 by TaraTheLiberator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Wouldn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Duplicate post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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