JudoMom Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me... DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra... #R&^*^(!.... Reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 ROFLMBO!!!!! That is truly a classic:lol::lol::lol: Tracey in TX: Time to roast that chicken 350°F to prove who's really in charge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie in Oh Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 :rofl::rofl::rofl: That was hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockermom Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I finished reading and am wishing for more!! :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ticklbee Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Very, very funny! Thanks for sharing it. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AussieInWyoming Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 You made me cry.......with laughter!!:lol::lol::lol: thanks for sharing, Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 :lol::lol::lol::rofl::hurray:Super funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Now all we need is a response from SWB... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazycoffeechic Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 :lol::lol::lol:That was good!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phred Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 PEOPLE MAGAZINE: We have a picture of the chicken crossing the road to see his friend Gregory Peck. (ducking) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 This chicken was homeschooled using TWTM. It used it's superior mathematical and logical skills to determine the best path to take when crossing the road. It read the signposts (which were written in Latin) to be sure it had found the precise spot from which to commence crossing. The chicken's purpose was to reach a well-known and revered institute of higher learning because it was fortunate enough to receive a full academic scholarship. The chicken was quoted as saying, "Bawk! Thank you SWB. I couldn't have crossed the road without you. Bawk!" Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Oh jUdo, you just handed me a Depends moment... Excuse me while I hit the potty. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jami Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Very funny! I'm trying to think of a Steve Jobs one since there's a Gates one. Dh says: STEVE JOBS: "It's the best chicken we've ever sent across the road. We're really proud of this." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancypants Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 PEOPLE MAGAZINE: We have a picture of the chicken crossing the road to see his friend Gregory Peck. (ducking) Ducking? Don't you mean CHICKENING (out)? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 :lol::auto::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CookieMonster Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Now all we need is a response from SWB... I bet it will involve a map of the road and suggested reading. Possibly a recipe and a narration activity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battlemaiden Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 This made my day....and my older boys are now repeating their favorites! I think the Bill Gates, Al Gore, and Dick Cheney are their favorites. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Oh my goodness. That is awesome!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I bet it will involve a map of the road and suggested reading. Possibly a recipe and a narration activity. Or possibly a bit of copy work.. penmanship! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncmomo3 Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 BRAVO!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandpsmommy Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 That was too, too funny! I loved it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.S. Burrow Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 :lol: This was my favorite, too: ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. :smilielol5: JOHN STEINBECK: Now, there are many millions in their sects and coops who feel the order, ‘Cross thou,’ and throw their weight into obedience. And there are millions more who feel predestination in ‘Thou shalt cross.’ Nothing they may do can interfere with what will be. But ‘Thou mayest cross’! Why, that makes a chicken great, that gives him stature with the gods, for in his weakness and his filth and his pecking of his brother he has still the great choice. He can choose his course and walk it through and win.†Timshel, little chicken! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Thanks, I needed that! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 ROBERT FROST: Two sides on a road once lay, And being one chicken, long I stood Sorry I could not on both of them stay I looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then crossed to the other, as just as fair And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that, the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two sides on a road once stood, and I I crossed to the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Eh, that's pushing it, isn't it?:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 :lol: :rofl: :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I bet it will involve a map of the road and suggested reading. Possibly a recipe and a narration activity. There had to be some logic involved, right? Was the chicken to the logic stage, though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 STEVE JOBS: "It's the best chicken we've ever sent across the road. We're really proud of this." "Not only will iChicken cross the road, she'll hold 500,000 iTunes, access the internet from any side of the road (should she decide to cross back), and create Keynotes from scratch." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. Yes, indeedy! :lol: Thanks, JudoMom. So funny!!! How about these? CHURCHILL: Smart bird. After all, if you are going through hell, keep going until you get to the other side." NIXON: Well, he screwed it up real good, didn't he? CHICKEN: I only did it to prove to the possum that it could be done! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missplacedalaskan Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 FUNNY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for chicken; one giant leap for chickenkind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Rene Descartes: The chicken crosses, therefore he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancypants Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Napolean Dynamite: Whatever. The real question is does she have talons? Mr. Darcy: Because she knows that her figure appears to best advantage when walking across the street. Frodo Baggins: To try to steer me away from Mount Doom. To try to steal the ring! But it's MY burden to carry! Mine!! Get away from me fowl chicken! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donovans4 Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 now, that was just hilarious!!! I can't wait to send it to DH! LauraD in MN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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