Do I need some kind of therapist?

[Julie in CA]

What is *WRONG* with me!?

I can eat in a reasonably healthy way for 3 months only.

I can lose 20 pounds only. After that I always fall apart and can't get back.

In so many areas of my life I am self-disciplined and do so much of the right stuff. Why do I have so little self-control when it comes to food?? :confused:

Why can't I just STOP already? :glare:

[Joyofsixreboot]

:grouphug:Be kind to yourself

[AvasMom]

What is *WRONG* with me!?

I can eat in a reasonably healthy way for 3 months only.

I can lose 20 pounds only. After that I always fall apart and can't get back.

In so many areas of my life I am self-disciplined and do so much of the right stuff. Why do I have so little self-control when it comes to food?? :confused:

Why can't I just STOP already? :glare:

 

I can't even last a week. :confused: Frustrating, isn't it?

[Just Robyn]

What is *WRONG* with me!?

I can eat in a reasonably healthy way for 3 months only.

I can lose 20 pounds only. After that I always fall apart and can't get back.

In so many areas of my life I am self-disciplined and do so much of the right stuff. Why do I have so little self-control when it comes to food?? :confused:

Why can't I just STOP already? :glare:

 

:grouphug: and I am with you. I wish addiction to food would be seen the same way addiction to anything else is. If you're addicted to alcohol you're a good person with a problem and we're all here to help you. If you're addicted to food you're disgusting. That's how it feels anyway.

 

ETA: In case this gets read wrong, of course I don't mean those statements. I am considering myself addicted to food and that is how it feels like the world views me and others like me.

Edited April 3, 2011 by crstarlette

[AvasMom]

There's a new series on, I think, Discovery Health (??) that's specifically about food addiction. I wish I could remember the name of it!! It starts this month though. I'll post if I find it.

[StephanieZ]

((hugs)) Getting control over food is *really* hard. Obviously, as most Americans are overweight or obese!! And most of *them* either are trying or were recently trying to change that. . . unsuccessfully.

 

For me, the key to gaining control over food was running. I don't know if it's the massive calorie burns that allow me to eat more while still losing weight, or if it's the HEAD cure that running gives me.

 

Running changes everything about how I feel. I am calmer, happier, stronger, and have more control over *everything* in my life, including what I choose to eat.

 

My only advice would be to find some rigorous exercise that you can handle and give it a 3 month try.

 

Just see if it works for you. I hated running and never thought I'd like it, let alone love it, let alone be so insanely committed to it as I now am. It took me about 12 weeks of running before I really began to enjoy it. By 4 months, I loved it. Now I can't imagine being happy without it. Who knows, maybe biking or something like that would have done it for me, too. . . But, I do think there is something magic about being OUTSIDE touching the earth, and working your tail off. Running does that for me.

 

That said, I doubt it's therapy you need. Maybe a yoga class, or a good walk a few times a week. . . but I'd spend my money and time doing something active with your body before therapy. (You know exercise has huge mental health benefits, too.)

[AvasMom]

Found it. It's called Addicted to Food and it's on OWN. Tomorrow is the first episode. 2pm here.

[kalanamak]

Why can't I just STOP already? :glare:

 

 

You are not alone. I have been hungry my entire life. I was okay when I could burn it off, but as my joints age, the result is not nice.

[justamouse]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Because other addictions can be fought and won with eventual abstinence. You really can't abstain from food.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If you do, so do I. There are so many complicating factors - it could be high fructose corn syrup in foods, sugar, starches, health problems ranging from your metabolism to yeast to parasites. . .

[OrganicAnn]

Face it, it is just difficult.

[OLG]

I know there is still a psychological component to over eating but I just don't want to dig that deep......It's never as simple as just cutting calories or just exercising or just 'one' thing. I kinda 'know' why I eat to reward/comfort/enjoy but just don't have the courage to go there - yet. I do know that one thing that is necessary is to find alternative ways to replace that 'emotional need' for food though. The old "do something you like to do'"! You are NOT alone!

[Garga]

It is really HARD to stop eating poorly. The junky food is EVERYWHERE. Every single aisle in the grocery store is filled to the brim with bad choices. I made a point to look really hard at all the food in the grocery store on Friday and probably 2/3 of it was bad for us.

 

Next time you're at a store, take a good hard look at the food that's presented to you. There are NON STOP temptations. And that's not even talking about the restaurants and the horrid choices in those.

 

It is just very, very, very hard to constantly walk past all those bad choices and not eventually give in. Other countries like to pick on "fat Americans", but if they had all the crazy bad choices in their stores, they'd be in the exact same predicament.

[Mergath]

It's biology. The human body has evolved to crave fat and sugar because in a society where there isn't enough food, those things will keep you alive. When you're surrounded by foods loaded up with that stuff, you can only fight biology and instinct for so long before you give in. The trick is to give in only often enough to shut up your instincts, then go back to eating healthy stuff.

 

I make sure we have very little or none of that in the house, and try to shop at places where I'm not surrounded by junk food, like health food stores and the farmer's market. Beyond that, just eat as healthy as you can and when you have a bad day food-wise, just pick yourself up and keep going the next day. I can't remember who said it, but I read somewhere that even if you eat healthy for six days out of the week and eat junk all day long on the seventh, you're still doing pretty good.

[Guest momk2000]

:grouphug:

 

I am a yo-yo! For years I have been up and down with my weight, it is so very difficult. I have found that when I give up the junk food completely, the first couple of weeks are very difficult, and then my body will stop craving those foods. It's smooth sailing from there, but somehow, I always gradually fall back into my old habits. :confused:

[LibraryLover]

Maybe it's a 'set point'/ body type issue more than it is a moral one?

[Nestof3]

It's hard because we really move very little. We don't have to garden and hunt all of our own food. We don't wash clothes (or even dishes) by hand. If we had to work hard for everything we ate, and I mean no prepackaged, premade things, we would eat less because it just wouldn't be worth it.

 

I think we are just as hungry as people have always been, but food is always within our reach. For some of us, the most we ever move in a day is from room to room.

 

I also think there are just so many unhealthy options tempting us. I mean, in Kroger, a whole aisle is devoted to soda, chips and candy.

[Peela]

What is *WRONG* with me!?

I can eat in a reasonably healthy way for 3 months only.

I can lose 20 pounds only. After that I always fall apart and can't get back.

In so many areas of my life I am self-disciplined and do so much of the right stuff. Why do I have so little self-control when it comes to food?? :confused:

Why can't I just STOP already? :glare:

 

I just read the 3 season diet and it helped me understand why its hard to stick to a diet that tells you what to eat, for longer than a few months- it makes sense to me, although it may not be the whole answer. At different times of the year, it is natural to eat different types of foods- more carbs at certain times, less fat at certain times, more or less protein at certain times- according to the seasons and what is naturally available. If the diet you are on doesn't take that into account- if for example it restricts a major food group like carbs, fats or protein ALL the time- it cant succeed because eventually you will crave that major food group beyond your capacity to "willpower" your way through the cravings. But that is natural- and a diet is not.

[Quiver0f10]

What is *WRONG* with me!?

I can eat in a reasonably healthy way for 3 months only.

I can lose 20 pounds only. After that I always fall apart and can't get back.

In so many areas of my life I am self-disciplined and do so much of the right stuff. Why do I have so little self-control when it comes to food?? :confused:

Why can't I just STOP already? :glare:

 

:grouphug: I feel for you. I am the same way. Three times in my adult life I have lost a fair amount of weight, only to gain it all back. I seems as soon as I hit a certain # on the scale it starts going back up.

Edited April 3, 2011 by Quiver0f10

[Julie in CA]

Much of what I posted was just venting, but the thread title is a sincere question.

Would some sort of counseling/therapy help? Surely there's some psychological reason I do this? Knowing something is completely wrong and then consistently doing it anyway is just so completely not who I am. Way more disturbing to me than being obese, is knowing that I've fought the fight and *failed*, over and over.

 

My mom is so overweight now that she looks like she can hardly move. I'm scared to death that that will be me in another 10 years. Still, I don't stop. You've gotta have something wrong in your head to see all the evidence and continue so determinedly on the path of destruction. :sad:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I have been battling the same things for over 20 years. I've done many diets, even went to Overeaters Anonymous. And I'm still fat. However, I have made permanent, positive changes in my diet, and attempt to exercise regularly. So, while still being overweight, I have normal/low blood pressure, normal cholesterol, normal blood sugar, etc. If you look at my extended family, we're all fat. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that most of my family members, me included, are addicted to sugar. I have done the same as you, where I do very well for a few months, and then something triggers an emotional response, and I'm back to shoving sugar in my face as fast as I can.

 

I've read lots of nutrition and health books, and I think I'm finally coming to some conclusions about things.

 

1. I think some people are genetically pre-disposed to being susceptible to addictions. I think I am one of those people.

 

2. Scientists know that chemicals and other things are stored in fat, so that when you are dieting and burning off that fat, the things that were stored in the fat are released into your body. I think that this is happening at that point (2-3) months into the fat burning process, and that the release of these things causes a disruption in the body and stimulates those receptor sites that want those bad ingredients.

 

3. I think counseling may help to get through that challenging time when your body's cravings seem insurmountable. I'm about to attempt another round of "Get Healthy Now!" I think I will try counseling when those cravings come back, and I will let you know if it helps.

[grace'smom]

Someone on this forum recommended a book called Why We Get Fat and What to do About It, and it was very interesting. The author talks about overweight as a SYMPTOM of poor health, rather than a cause. He gives examples of different societies that experienced rapid weight gain after having to rely on a western starchy diet. It's interesting, and helped explain to me why I have a carb issue. I'm OK as long as I don't eat unhealthy carbs, but if I have one piece of cake I will have to fight cravings for days. It's those festive functions that throw me off. I really can't have ONE piece of cake without falling off the wagon. I don't crave the cake, I don't want the cake, but it is a baby shower/birthday/Christmas/etc. so I feel that I MUST eat the cake. Then I go home thinking about white bread rolls and potato chips, LOL. That's how I fall off the wagon. Christmas gets me every year. I'm usually back on the right bandwagon by April- yes, that's how long it takes to get my act back together. So don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure we all have the same issue in one area of our life. Maybe for some it's not food but something else- wasn't there an anger thread on here recently?

 

I agree with the PP about running too. I get depressed if I can't run. The sunshine and fresh air does wonders- and I hated it at the beginning too. It took about 3 months to like it but now I can't do without it. It seems like the cheapest exercise too. Good shoes and a sports bra get you into the game.

[Nestof3]

I honestly don't think a therapist could help. I mean, do you have some sort of unhealthy eating issue? Are you downing a box of cookies every day?

 

My answer is extreme in that I think the ideal situation for everyone regardless of weigh would be for all convenience foods like chips, desserts, juices, sodas, lemonades, crackers -- just about anything that someone else made -- to leave the house and never return.

 

No frozen pizzas, no premade meals, etc. No cereal with little fiber, high-fructose corn syrup, etc. It might even be best to only have hot cereals.

 

Only keep whole grains, lentils, beans, nut butters, wheat berries, fresh or frozen veggies, fruits and a few condiments (no mayo), good oils (olive and coconut -- no butter), fat-free or low-fat dairy products, good meats, organic chicken broth, etc.

 

Now, find ways to move more throughout the day. Deliberate exercise is fine. Take walks, ride bikes, scrub something clean -- very often. Work outside on your garden, or washing the garage walls. Sweep the walkways every day whether they really need it or not. Make food from scratch. Don't sit still for longer than 15 minutes without getting up, walking around, etc.

 

I think we would all be changed people regardless of size or health conditions like thyroid.

 

I know weight gain is more complicated than this, but it only takes 100 calories extra a day for a year to gain 10 pounds. That's a cheese stick or a soda. If the junk isn't around, you're more likely to grab something healthier which will more likely have a better impact on your health.

 

Have a tray of fresh veggies out every day to snack on -- celery, grape tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, zucchini. Have hummus dip available. Look to whole foods as your answer to hunger. Pop some popcorn with coconut oil instead of grabbing chips.

 

Making healthy meals takes me a lot of time. It's so much easier just to eat something that doesn't need peeling, slicing, washing, etc. Make the time. Make it a priority to choose foods that have real life-giving potential in them.

 

Much of what I posted was just venting, but the thread title is a sincere question.

Would some sort of counseling/therapy help? Surely there's some psychological reason I do this? Knowing something is completely wrong and then consistently doing it anyway is just so completely not who I am. Way more disturbing to me than being obese, is knowing that I've fought the fight and *failed*, over and over.

 

My mom is so overweight now that she looks like she can hardly move. I'm scared to death that that will be me in another 10 years. Still, I don't stop. You've gotta have something wrong in your head to see all the evidence and continue so determinedly on the path of destruction. :sad:

[Julie in CA]

If you look at my extended family, we're all fat. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that most of my family members, me included, are addicted to sugar.

 

 

1. I think some people are genetically pre-disposed to being susceptible to addictions. I think I am one of those people.

You are probably right on about this. There are two types of people in my family, and only two. There are the ones that are *hugely* overweight, and there are alcoholics. I'm not entirely sure which addiction is more destructive, but I remember my mom telling us as teens that with such a strong family history of alcoholism, it just wasn't worth it for us to take even one drink.

[melissel]

It's interesting' date=' and helped explain to me why I have a carb issue. I'm OK as long as I don't eat unhealthy carbs, but if I have one piece of cake I will have to fight cravings for days. It's those festive functions that throw me off. I really can't have ONE piece of cake without falling off the wagon. I don't crave the cake, I don't want the cake, but it is a baby shower/birthday/Christmas/etc. so I feel that I MUST eat the cake.[/quote']

 

:iagree: Or I think, "I'm doing so well, I've beaten the monster back, I can go ahead and eat the cake just this one time." And that's all it takes *sigh*

 

Maybe it's a 'set point'/ body type issue more than it is a moral one?

 

I'm honestly starting to wonder if this isn't the case for me. I started taking a bunch of supplements for various reasons (originally for a persistent, low-level depression/anger that was really debilitating me). One of them is the supplement 5-htp. Well, it turns out that when I take it regularly, a whole host of issues that I don't even realize I'm having just fade off into the background--brain fog, forgetfulness, anger, memory loss, and a constant, driving need to search the house for food that will actually SATISFY me. When I'm taking it, I eat a normal meal and I'm satisfied. I once described it here as my gauges all being turned back on, and someone else who takes it agreed that that's how it feels. Suddenly, all my sensors are back online and reading levels accurately.

 

I don't like the idea of taking something for the rest of my life. I really don't. I held off on antidepressants for years, and right now I'm holding back on seeking out some kind of treatment for ADHD. But I think, in my case, this is how it will it have to be, and I feel lucky that I came across something relatively minor that will help correct whatever "off" brain chemistry I have without major pharmaceuticals and major $$$.

 

Maybe that's something you could try for a little while and see if it helps?

[melissel]

Making healthy meals takes me a lot of time. It's so much easier just to eat something that doesn't need peeling, slicing, washing, etc. Make the time. Make it a priority to choose foods that have real life-giving potential in them.

 

This doesn't work for me, unfortunately, because there's still a part of my brain that is saying, "Hmm, this is not exactly what I was looking for. Maybe if I eat this...or this...nope, that didn't do it...how about this...maybe some of these will satisfy me...no...one of those?" While my brain is in that mode, satisfying that need is all I can think about, and nothing seems to satisfy it. I do cook healthy meals, and then I eat way too much of them.

 

Julie, I forgot to ask, do you get enough sleep generally? Are you typically very stressed out? Lack of sleep and constant stress increase cortisol levels, and increased cortisol makes your body try to load up on carbs and fat. If I start sleeping poorly, I immediately notice a huge ramp-up in my cravings for carbs. I literally find myself wandering the house, rummaging through cabinets and drawers for "just the right thing" to shut down the craving--and never quite finding it.

[Denisemomof4]

I think it's hard when there are several people living in the house and you have to eat different from everyone else. I've just sort of become used to it now. While they have stuff I *want* I also buy myself expensive treats I *can* have and I won't share with them. I'm on a candida diet for now but once I'm done with this, I will allow certain treats/carbs only X number of times per week. I won't deprive myself completely, but I won't go back to eating carbs every day.

 

Maybe you could experiment with coconut flour and almond flour and try new recipes. What are your favorite foods?

 

Just this week I placed an order at Amazon for $180 so I can have a large variety in my diet and more treats. I won't feel guilty about it anymore. Eating healthy is just expensive. Period.

 

I also think a lot is your own genetic make-up. My RAIL THIN dd eats about double the amount I do. I was thin until I had her at 36 and now I struggle with my weight. I need to lose 25 pounds (I lost 20, gained back 5 and have been at this weight for over a month now) but the ONLY way it's going to work is for me to move more. When oldest ds moves out we're turning his large room into our workout room. It will be outdoor walking/hiking when weather allows, swimming in the summer, and the "gym" the rest of the time. It's either that or starve myself. I refuse to do that. For those of us who struggle with weight, getting exercise daily would really be beneficial - for more reasons than one!

[Nestof3]

Oh, and I lose 20 and gain 20 again as well.

 

But, I will be honest and say it's because I get out of the routine of exercising. I start making unhealthier choices when I reach for food. It really doesn't take much to start swinging things in the opposite direction.

 

Then, when I start gaining, I just feel like, "Oh well, who cares." I don't feel as good about myself because I know I'm undoing what I fixed.

 

This time around (I'm trying to lose again), I am trying to keep my focus on changing my view of food all together. I'm really thinking about how food is benefiting me. I am dwelling on how much better I feel after a nice walk/jog. I'm thinking about how everything about me is better right now even if I haven't lost much because I am giving it real nutrition. I am also supplementing with vitamins and minerals in the areas I am deficient.

 

My husband is in lawn maintenance. He takes soil samples and has them tested. He then works to give the soil what it needs to be healthier. Soils are much like the human body -- they need a proper balance, they get stressed, and they need supplements to bring it back to an ideal nature. Only a healthy soil will deliver healthy fescue grass. In order to thrive, we need to be fed properly. We need to treat ourselves well.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

I don't like the idea of taking something for the rest of my life. I really don't. I held off on antidepressants for years, and right now I'm holding back on seeking out some kind of treatment for ADHD. But I think, in my case, this is how it will it have to be, and I feel lucky that I came across something relatively minor that will help correct whatever "off" brain chemistry I have without major pharmaceuticals and major $$$.

 

Maybe that's something you could try for a little while and see if it helps?

 

5-HTP is something your body makes anyway. Some of us (I'm one of them) needs help making it. Thus, the supplement. Don't feel badly about taking it.

[Denisemomof4]

Much of what I posted was just venting, but the thread title is a sincere question.

Would some sort of counseling/therapy help? Surely there's some psychological reason I do this? Knowing something is completely wrong and then consistently doing it anyway is just so completely not who I am. Way more disturbing to me than being obese, is knowing that I've fought the fight and *failed*, over and over.

 

My mom is so overweight now that she looks like she can hardly move. I'm scared to death that that will be me in another 10 years. Still, I don't stop. You've gotta have something wrong in your head to see all the evidence and continue so determinedly on the path of destruction. :sad:

 

I have heard that overeating is a symptom of something else in your life, like you're trying to fill a void. I've never looked into that because it doesn't apply to myself. I really don't eat much for someone my size.

 

It certainly can't hurt to try to figure out why you're seeking comfort in food.

[Nestof3]

See, I can only eat so much steamed spinach, asparagus and salad. I only allow myself about a half cup of pasta or rice and no more than a fist size of meat.

 

You can overeat on non-starchy vegetables like crazy and not really consume many calories.

 

I don't overeat unless something is incredibly tasty, but that tends to be only things I wouldn't consider very healthy.

 

Oh, and I stopped making bread. I can definitely eat some buttered, fresh-out-of-the-oven bread. LOL

 

This doesn't work for me, unfortunately, because there's still a part of my brain that is saying, "Hmm, this is not exactly what I was looking for. Maybe if I eat this...or this...nope, that didn't do it...how about this...maybe some of these will satisfy me...no...one of those?" While my brain is in that mode, satisfying that need is all I can think about, and nothing seems to satisfy it. I do cook healthy meals, and then I eat way too much of them.

 

Julie, I forgot to ask, do you get enough sleep generally? Are you typically very stressed out? Lack of sleep and constant stress increase cortisol levels, and increased cortisol makes your body try to load up on carbs and fat. If I start sleeping poorly, I immediately notice a huge ramp-up in my cravings for carbs. I literally find myself wandering the house, rummaging through cabinets and drawers for "just the right thing" to shut down the craving--and never quite finding it.

Edited April 3, 2011 by nestof3

[Denisemomof4]

:iagree: Or I think, "I'm doing so well, I've beaten the monster back, I can go ahead and eat the cake just this one time." And that's all it takes *sigh*

 

 

 

I'm honestly starting to wonder if this isn't the case for me. I started taking a bunch of supplements for various reasons (originally for a persistent, low-level depression/anger that was really debilitating me). One of them is the supplement 5-htp. Well, it turns out that when I take it regularly, a whole host of issues that I don't even realize I'm having just fade off into the background--brain fog, forgetfulness, anger, memory loss, and a constant, driving need to search the house for food that will actually SATISFY me. When I'm taking it, I eat a normal meal and I'm satisfied. I once described it here as my gauges all being turned back on, and someone else who takes it agreed that that's how it feels. Suddenly, all my sensors are back online and reading levels accurately.

 

I don't like the idea of taking something for the rest of my life. I really don't. I held off on antidepressants for years, and right now I'm holding back on seeking out some kind of treatment for ADHD. But I think, in my case, this is how it will it have to be, and I feel lucky that I came across something relatively minor that will help correct whatever "off" brain chemistry I have without major pharmaceuticals and major $$$.

 

Maybe that's something you could try for a little while and see if it helps?

 

it's not that you'll have to take 5-HTP for the rest of your life. It's treating the depression right now, and the other symptoms you mention are due to the depression. The 5-HTP rebuilds the serotonin levels back up in your brain. Once they're at a good level you should be able to get off of the 5-HTP.

 

I was on 5-HTP for sleep issues for about 6 months. I've had insomnia for about 30 years. (generational!) I was taking 5-htp along with valerian and passionflower for about 6 months. Once my serotonin levels were replenished, I was able to sleep like a baby for about a year - with NO help!!! That was a HUGE accomplishment for me! When huge stressful events came back into my life, the serotonin was again depleted from my brain. I'm on the 5-HTP again right now and will go off it soon. It's not meant to take long term, if I remember right.

[Nestof3]

Oh, one more thing. This week, I am getting back to doing something creative at night half of the days. When the boys go to bed, my dh and I usually watch Murder She Wrote. I haven't papercrafted in months. When crafting, I have no desire to snack, but the opposite is true when I watch a movie.

 

So, I'll either scrapbook or make a card. I think this is just as good for my mental health as my physical.

[Julie in CA]

I honestly don't think a therapist could help. I mean, do you have some sort of unhealthy eating issue?

Yes, I think I have some sort of unhealthy eating issue.

No, I don't down a box of cookies. I don't eat chips. I don't drink soda. I keep very few processed foods in the house.

 

It is entirely possible to overeat on good, healthy food, and it's also not as easy as just not keeping food in the house. We've all gotta go out some time, and though I can be the one who brings salad or bean soup to the church potluck, I'm still going to have to pass by the row of lasagnas and fried chicken, kwim?

 

Then there's the "healthy" options for eating out...

 

Then I have to make myself stick to just one ounce of cheese on the huge salad I eat for lunch, etc, etc...

 

Trust me, it's easy to do the wrong thing. :glare:

 

I can do the right thing for 3 months, sailing along without much temptation at all, then it's as though my time has expired and I'm. Just. Done. It always happens at the 20 lb. mark.

[melissel]

5-HTP is something your body makes anyway. Some of us (I'm one of them) needs help making it. Thus, the supplement. Don't feel badly about taking it.

 

Thanks Jean, I do forget that. I think it somehow also relates to my ADHD symptoms as well--it really, really lifts the haze, and I see things I simply don't see when I'm not taking it. I'm able to stick to a schedule and don't get so overwhelmed, and other things, long-lost things (ahem!) return :D I really am grateful to have found it and figure that if it's my biggest "crutch" right now, I'll consider myself lucky.

[Nestof3]

Then if you think you need a therapist, by all means see one.

 

I know it's easy to overdo it on food, but I just look at it simply as I do so because I enjoy it. I never imagined a therapist could help me stop this because I figured it was all about will-power for me. If you think it goes deeper than that, definitely go.

 

Yes, I think I have some sort of unhealthy eating issue.

No, I don't down a box of cookies. I don't eat chips. I don't drink soda. I keep very few processed foods in the house.

 

It is entirely possible to overeat on good, healthy food, and it's also not as easy as just not keeping food in the house. We've all gotta go out some time, and though I can be the one who brings salad or bean soup to the church potluck, I'm still going to have to pass by the row of lasagnas and fried chicken, kwim?

 

Then there's the "healthy" options for eating out...

 

Then I have to make myself stick to just one ounce of cheese on the huge salad I eat for lunch, etc, etc...

 

Trust me, it's easy to do the wrong thing. :glare:

 

I can do the right thing for 3 months, sailing along without much temptation at all, then it's as though my time has expired and I'm. Just. Done. It always happens at the 20 lb. mark.

[melissel]

it's not that you'll have to take 5-HTP for the rest of your life. It's treating the depression right now, and the other symptoms you mention are due to the depression. The 5-HTP rebuilds the serotonin levels back up in your brain. Once they're at a good level you should be able to get off of the 5-HTP.

 

I was on 5-HTP for sleep issues for about 6 months. I've had insomnia for about 30 years. (generational!) I was taking 5-htp along with valerian and passionflower for about 6 months. Once my serotonin levels were replenished, I was able to sleep like a baby for about a year - with NO help!!! That was a HUGE accomplishment for me! When huge stressful events came back into my life, the serotonin was again depleted from my brain. I'm on the 5-HTP again right now and will go off it soon. It's not meant to take long term, if I remember right.

 

I've read this, but I don't know if it will apply to me. In my experience, the effects wear off in a few days when I stop taking it, and I start feeling crazed and stresses and foggy and hungry right away. To be honest, though, I don't think I've taken it steadily for as long as six months. I have a tendency to start feeling better and "normal" and then forgetting to take my supplements for an extended time. So I guess I regularly give myself breaks anyway!

 

As I mentioned in another post, the 5-HTP makes a big difference in my ADHD symptoms too, and I don't think that's something that can be solved long-term. IMO, it has to be treated daily, and the 5-HTP seems to do that somehow (though I can't remember how--serotonin and dopamine are related, aren't they?). I don't know--if I ever manage to continue taking it for a long enough time, I'll start thinking about giving myself a break from it :D

[Julie in CA]

I know it's easy to overdo it on food, but I just look at it simply as I do so because I enjoy it. I never imagined a therapist could help me stop this because I figured it was all about will-power for me. If you think it goes deeper than that, definitely go.

This is what the mostly-skinny folks in my life have told me.

I think it's probably not as simple as that for some people, including me. I'm very glad you're able to go on willpower alone, 'cause this other thing really stinks! ;)

[Nestof3]

This is what the mostly-skinny folks in my life have told me.

I think it's probably not as simple as that for some people, including me. I'm very glad you're able to go on willpower alone, 'cause this other thing really stinks! ;)

 

I think you missed the part about me gaining the weight back too. No, I lose will power as well. I really did take the time to type up a lot of information, but this seems to be the only point that receives a response.

 

I gave personal testimony about "falling off the wagon" and not feeling good about myself and losing sight of the goals to give my body what it really needs. I know my weaknesses, and NO -- I shouldn't spend my life depriving myself of them, but at the same time, I am trying to focus my thoughts on the real purpose of food.

 

I'm sorry that none of my other information spoke to you.

 

PS -- I can only come on here and speak from my experience. If I were to see a therapist, I wouldn't be told I eat to fulfill a void or because food is taking the place of some other thing I am lacking. I know for myself that I eat six of those vanilla cookies filled with that yummy cream because it tastes good. I pig out at the Mexican restaurant because the food just tastes so good.

 

I have yet to pig out on healthy food. Even rice -- plain brown rice wouldn't be a huge temptation, but Mexican fried rice is a different story.

 

I wasn't trying to persuade you from seeing a therapist -- I was just indicating what my attachment to food is and why a therapist wouldn't be able to help me.

Edited April 3, 2011 by nestof3

[Nestof3]

Were you ever overweight or very overweight? I don't recall all of the details of your story, but I vaguely recall you never being severely overweight, just unhappy you had gained some pounds.

 

Sorry if I have that all wrong.

 

I was 30 pounds overweight (to me) coming out of college. I ate dessert every day in college and all sorts of junk food as well. I improved my diet and began walking and doing some step aerobics, abs and squats. I actually roller-bladed for fun. I felt good about myself, so I enjoyed moving. I made changes, like I ate half of the veggie bean burger at a restaurant and ate salad instead of fries. I was young, and I think my metabolism played into things, but I was also deliberate. I lost 30 pounds in about 1.5 years.

 

I met John who had a son. I began taking less care of myself and began giving more to our relationship and to helping out with Aaron. By the time I got married, I had gained back nearly 10 pounds. I conceived Nathan two months into our marriage, and I gained 40 pounds. I was still overweight when I conceived Ben.

 

Now, remember, I am short and I have small frame. I realize there are BMI charts and such, but honestly, I think they are off. I can look at my frame and know I am overweight. My arms are large, my hips are puffing out with nothing but flab -- it's fat, people. My face is larger. My legs are thick. I know what my frame looks like because I lost weight and ended up thin as an adult. I remember how good I felt.

 

I honestly stopped by good habits. Life was stressful. I began homeschooling the same year I became a mom to an 8 year old and the same year I gave birth to Nathan. It was much easier to eat healthy just for myself. To cook things that John and Aaron liked brought in old habits. I no longer had time to exercise. -- or no longer made time.

 

I am nearly back to where I was fresh out of college. What I really want aside from losing the weight again is to feel better. I want to start roller-blading for fun. I want to eat food for nourishment sake with little treats here and there. I want to be deliberate. I just ate an amazingly filling lunch with great foods and only 277 calories. We're having a cookout tonight. My husband bought Bubba Burgers that have 340 calories for just the patty.

 

Being deliberate, I chose to have a spicy black bean burger (no bun) at 120 calories. Yes, I know they're not the best thing for you, but it's a compromise I am willing to make. I will eat asparagus, cucumbers, tomato, romaine, a little bit of baked beans and fruit. I will have a couple of bites of the cheesecake my mother is kind enough to be bringing.

 

But, I think it's best to change the way we view food and be more deliberate about moving regardless of weight.

 

PS -- many of my relatives are obese, and diabetes runs in the family. My dad is overweight and has high blood pressure -- the bp changed as the weight increased. Many of my changes are because I am concerned about my health.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dawn, I'm glad that weight loss has been fairly easy for you. I am 70 pounds overweight. I have been a part of Sparkspeople for over 3 years. I track my food and keep within the guidelines. I track my exercise. Last year I was exercising hard for 45 min. a day 6 days a week. I was still keeping within my calorie goals. It took me 3 months to lose 10 pounds. Then I got sick - go to the ER twice in one month sick. I've gained 5 of those pounds back. I can't go back to that exercise schedule since I keep getting sick again (I'm sick right now). I still track my food. I still keep within the adjusted guidelines (lower than before)- with non-processed, non HFCS food. I can't do the hard exercise but I walk 2 miles a day. I have lost 0 pounds in the last 3 months. Honestly, these threads make me want to cry. . .

[Nestof3]

Dawn, I'm glad that weight loss has been fairly easy for you. I am 70 pounds overweight. I have been a part of Sparkspeople for over 3 years. I track my food and keep within the guidelines. I track my exercise. Last year I was exercising hard for 45 min. a day 6 days a week. I was still keeping within my calorie goals. It took me 3 months to lose 10 pounds. Then I got sick - go to the ER twice in one month sick. I've gained 5 of those pounds back. I can't go back to that exercise schedule since I keep getting sick again (I'm sick right now). I still track my food. I still keep within the adjusted guidelines (lower than before)- with non-processed, non HFCS food. I can't do the hard exercise but I walk 2 miles a day. I have lost 0 pounds in the last 3 months. Honestly, these threads make me want to cry. . .

 

It's not easy. 3 months to lose 10 pounds is actually great. When did I say it was easy? 1.5 years to lose 30 pounds? That's less than two pounds a month. Your weight loss was better than that! They were long-term goals, though. I changed my entire way of life -- eating, moving, etc.

 

I think it's harder for me now because I've had many more years to lose muscle mass and metabolism. I'm good for a few months, then something happens and I get off my consistency with working out, and since I didn't work out, I feel like, "why bother with what I eat today? I'll just have several Dove chocolates, and while I'm at it, I'll __________________."

 

For me, they go hand in hand -- exercise and food choices -- because they each spur me on to be better with the other. When I slacken in one area, the other area falls as well.

 

I'm just plugging along because I'm doing what I think is best for my body. I'm not just walking/jogging because I want to lose weight. I'm doing it because I love the energy I get from it. I love the way I breathe afterward. I love the way my legs feel.

 

I don't just eat differently to lose weight, I am doing so because I literally feel better.

 

I have spent 11 years yo-yoing back and forth with these extra pounds.

 

*************************

 

One more comment about tracking food. Unless you spend time measuring, I've noticed I tend to underestimate serving sizes. I only have to measure the first two times. So, for my yogurt, I measure with a 1/2 cup, hummus with a tbsp, etc. It sounds nit-picky at first, but I need it to determine serving sizes. I had no idea how many cocktail peanuts I was consuming at one sitting. Now, I only have them every few nights. I weighed out an ounce of cheese to see what it actually looked like.

 

Oh, and about calories burned, I had no idea, for example, that a treadmill without the ability to enter one's weight assumes the weight of a man. The sad thing is, because I weigh so little in comparison, I am also burning far fewer calories.

Edited April 3, 2011 by nestof3

[Liz CA]

Check out "Lose it for Life." I have not done it myself but heard good things about it. Comes in book as well as audio - I think.

[eternalknot]

What is *WRONG* with me!?

I can eat in a reasonably healthy way for 3 months only.

I can lose 20 pounds only. After that I always fall apart and can't get back.

In so many areas of my life I am self-disciplined and do so much of the right stuff. Why do I have so little self-control when it comes to food?? :confused:

Why can't I just STOP already? :glare:

 

:grouphug:

 

Is the trigger always the same thing? (After the 20lbs/3mos.)

 

You mention therapy, so I'll suggest something my MIL is using to help her in her weight loss journey. Like you, she does well for a few months but then always gains the same 25lbs back. She's been yo-yo dieting for so many years that I think it's a deeper issue than just willpower or discipline -- I truly believe her biology has contributed to her inability to successfully keep off the weight, and also her preference for fake foods (diet products, non-fat products, etc.) I think she needs to heal her body before she can expect it to lose the weight; that means working on other underlying issues before seeing any true weight loss.

 

I sidetracked; I'm sorry. She recently started using a technique called E.F.T. which stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It sounds a bit hokey, and is definitely controversial, but it's worth looking into. Some say it's a placebo effect, but I say ... who cares, if it's working. Other people swear it has changed their lives. She heard about this from her nephew, a chiropractor. Google it, see if it might help. She's using it to free herself from food addiction and emotional (over)eating.

 

Whatever you decide to do, please go easy on yourself. And not just because stress causes weight gain or stalls ;), but because you deserve better treatment. From everyone, but most of all from yourself. ((hugs))

[StephanieZ]

Much of what I posted was just venting, but the thread title is a sincere question.

Would some sort of counseling/therapy help? Surely there's some psychological reason I do this? Knowing something is completely wrong and then consistently doing it anyway is just so completely not who I am. Way more disturbing to me than being obese, is knowing that I've fought the fight and *failed*, over and over.

 

My mom is so overweight now that she looks like she can hardly move. I'm scared to death that that will be me in another 10 years. Still, I don't stop. You've gotta have something wrong in your head to see all the evidence and continue so determinedly on the path of destruction. :sad:

 

I was brief earlier and didn't write at length about the running b/c I feel like a broken record, and b/c I don't want to apply pressure/guilt if it's not sth you want to hear.

 

But, really, I think the magical thing about running for me was/is what it does for my head. It is my therapy.

 

By doing something physically *very* hard (for me), I practice a kind of control over my body that I have never had before in my first 40 years of life. I started with the couch to 5 k program, and by following the 9 week plan religiously, I was working very hard every workout, and achieving things I'd never have believed I could do. Each run was a huge challenge. I grunted it out, swore, prayed, but just kept at it *truly* as hard as I could. Overcoming each challenge (each run, each rainy day, hot day, sore shin, unexpected company, sick kid, sick me, hectic schedule) by simply finding a way, any way, to do my run no matter the challenge. . . well, each *overcoming* made me stronger and gave me pride as well as confidence when the next wrench was thrown in the way. (A whole tool chest of wrenches was thrown my way, lol.)

 

I have continued step by step on to greater challenges, applying the same persistence and control. I have run a 10 mile long run. I am now nursing a knee injury and so learning to change my cadence to better protect my joints (a short stride, fast cadence is safer), and this work to change my candence is even harder than anything I'd done before. I don't care. I relish the challenge and the agony. It sounds bizarre, but it is true. I plan to do a half marathon in June b/c I had to cancel my plan for April due to the knee. I plan for a marathon in September. But, I know that if these plans are messed up, I'll find another way, make a new plan, and just keep going on. . . Just keeping on keeping on.

 

So, I tell you all this just b/c all this boils down to me learning to have control over my own body, will power over it, to a degree that is so dramatic and difficult that it makes making food choices seem so much easier. I will never be someone who eats only healthy stuff. I will always love carbs and desserts. I *can* still eat them b/c I burn so many calories running. But, I am not over-doing on a consistent basis. I am eating the right number of calories for my body. Not by counting, or by making rules, or eliminating most/all of what tastes delicious, but by simply eating *for* my body and tastes and not being consumed by guilt or temptation or rules.

 

I am sure there are other ways people learn this dominance over their taste buds, but for me, the key was running. Maybe there is another mental component in that running is *just for me*, so it is a novel, exciting thing that makes *me* a person on my own, not simply a mom/homeschooling mom/wife/boss/etc as I am the rest of my hours. Everything else I do is about relationship & responsibility to OTHERS, running is just about ME. I think there is probably some deep benefit there, and it is definitely making me a better person/mom/wife/boss than I was before I discovered it.

 

So, I mean to agree that, yes, food control is mental. Yes, there are deep things in your head that influence how you eat. I don't think running is the magic answer to weight for everyone, of course. But, it was for me.

 

It is interesting to me that I have not been able to run much for the last month due to a knee issue. (Getting better with the help of a PT right now, and back to running shorter distances while working on changing my body mechanics for safer running.) I was literally losing my mind while not being able to run for a few weeks. I was near hysteria. Most interesting is that even after 3 weeks of NO intense exercise, I regained NO weight. More interesting even (to me), is that the fact that I have apparently gained sufficient control over eating to not regain weight despite the lack of exercise and extreme stress (which would usually trigger stress eating), I still was/am desperate to run. Running has obviously become a love/need in and of itself, completely separate from its ability to burn off a pound a week or more and allow me to eat with relative abandon while losing weight.

 

I cannot overstate the mental benefits of running. For me.

 

FWIW, I also find inspiration in watching the Biggest Loser. I think there are some great stories in there about the emotional aspects of eating and weight. You can watch entire current seasons on hulu. I started watching it around the same time I started running. I think it took me watching at least an entire season or two before I started really getting the lessons that are there. It's not the kind of thing I think I'd get much out of just watching occasionally, but watching an entire season might be interesting to you.

 

And, no, I've never been obese. I have been in the overweight BMI category for most of the last 6-8 years, and on and off since college, but never into the obese category. I am now in the healthy BMI category (lost 25 lb since beginning running 7 months ago) and hope/plan to stay here forever.

 

Here is the most inspirational video clip I've seen. It's a 45 sec ad. It is totally awesome.

 

http://www.adventure-journal.com/2011/03/what-running-releases/

[Mynyel]

What is *WRONG* with me!?

I can eat in a reasonably healthy way for 3 months only.

I can lose 20 pounds only. After that I always fall apart and can't get back.

In so many areas of my life I am self-disciplined and do so much of the right stuff. Why do I have so little self-control when it comes to food?? :confused:

Why can't I just STOP already? :glare:

 

 

OMG Seriously? Are you sure you didn't pull that straight out of *MY* head? I have the same problem. Even on WW (which I am a member of) I struggle.

 

I studiously remember to put my toothbrush and toothpaste back in the same place every night but Lordhavemercy I can't stop at half a serving of anything. It has to be 2 at least.

 

I miss ephedra. I don't care what people say about it. I wasn't irresponsible with it. I took only half the recommended dose and lost weight like it was nothing. Course I got pregnant both times I was taking it and stopped too :tongue_smilie: Then after my middle one they took it off the market. Hang it.

 

Anyway, I feel the same way. I just don't know what to do. I don't have anyone to fix my meals for me and keep me out of the kitchen.

 

I know if I had things to do outside the house I wouldn't eat as much but I can't stay out of the house as much as I would need to!

 

My SIL has ultimate control when it comes to food. It almost is obsessive the way she is with it. She is about 70 (or more!) pounds lighter than me too!

 

*sigh* Julie I feel your pain and haven't come up with a suitable solution yet.

[Julie in CA]

:grouphug:

 

Is the trigger always the same thing? (After the 20lbs/3mos.)

 

You mention therapy, so I'll suggest something my MIL is using to help her in her weight loss journey. Like you, she does well for a few months but then always gains the same 25lbs back. She's been yo-yo dieting for so many years that I think it's a deeper issue than just willpower or discipline -- I truly believe her biology has contributed to her inability to successfully keep off the weight, and also her preference for fake foods (diet products, non-fat products, etc.) I think she needs to heal her body before she can expect it to lose the weight; that means working on other underlying issues before seeing any true weight loss.

 

I sidetracked; I'm sorry. She recently started using a technique called E.F.T. which stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It sounds a bit hokey, and is definitely controversial, but it's worth looking into. Some say it's a placebo effect, but I say ... who cares, if it's working. Other people swear it has changed their lives. She heard about this from her nephew, a chiropractor. Google it, see if it might help. She's using it to free herself from food addiction and emotional (over)eating.

 

Whatever you decide to do, please go easy on yourself. And not just because stress causes weight gain or stalls ;), but because you deserve better treatment. From everyone, but most of all from yourself. ((hugs))

The trigger is always the same thing. I'm able to maintain the effort for 3 months, and then one day I slip up and eat something too evil to fit into my Weight Watchers points {Fettucine alfredo, perhaps :glare:}. It makes me even hungrier (I know that carbs cause cravings for me). I maintain until the next day, when I'm still overly hungry for the wrong stuff, and then I look around at what I have to do, and none of it looks fun. More laundry than I can possibly get done, the never-ending pile of dishes, pushing high schoolers through their work, struggling to balance that with my part-time job, and eating just....sounds like more fun than doing all of that. Sort of like at least that one thing will be enjoyable, and it can carry me through all that I need to get done. It snowballs, and pretty soon I've completely given up on eating well, and am just focused on getting through the day getting at least a moderate amount of my obligations fulfilled and "treating" myself to just a little more...

 

Sorry, I slipped into a little introspection there. :001_huh:

 

I'll look carefully at your advice, thank you.

The temptation to bully myself is irresistible, when it seems so clear to me that I deserve it. Still, self-flagellation hasn't gotten me very far, so there has to be something else.

[8circles]

:grouphug: I hear you. I'm in the same boat - its a real struggle.

[Jen500]

 

The temptation to bully myself is irresistible, when it seems so clear to me that I deserve it. Still, self-flagellation hasn't gotten me very far, so there has to be something else.

 

Julie, IMO you are much too hard on yourself. Just through some of your posts over time on this board, I can tell that you are a very thoughtful, caring, hard-working, wonderful woman/mom/wife/inlaw/etc. Just wanted to say that. :grouphug:

[Julie in CA]

I think you missed the part about me gaining the weight back too. No, I lose will power as well. I really did take the time to type up a lot of information, but this seems to be the only point that receives a response.

 

I gave personal testimony about "falling off the wagon" and not feeling good about myself and losing sight of the goals to give my body what it really needs. I know my weaknesses, and NO -- I shouldn't spend my life depriving myself of them, but at the same time, I am trying to focus my thoughts on the real purpose of food.

 

I'm sorry that none of my other information spoke to you.

 

PS -- I can only come on here and speak from my experience. If I were to see a therapist, I wouldn't be told I eat to fulfill a void or because food is taking the place of some other thing I am lacking. I know for myself that I eat six of those vanilla cookies filled with that yummy cream because it tastes good. I pig out at the Mexican restaurant because the food just tastes so good.

 

I have yet to pig out on healthy food. Even rice -- plain brown rice wouldn't be a huge temptation, but Mexican fried rice is a different story.

 

I wasn't trying to persuade you from seeing a therapist -- I was just indicating what my attachment to food is and why a therapist wouldn't be able to help me.

Dawn,

I'm so sorry that I somehow came across as flip, or dismissive. It wasn't my intention, I think I just didn't come across very well in my wording. I certainly value all of the advice that you posted. I sincerely meant that I was glad that willpower was working for you, since I thought that was what you meant kept you able to do all the rest. I'm short on willpower, in spite of my best efforts, and I feel like a lowly slug because I know that other people can do it that way and I cannot seem to, no matter how hard I try (and I've tried harder on this than I've ever tried with anything :confused:).

Thank you so much,

Julie