Aubrey Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 *where* you choose to register for wedding/baby showers? For ex, if you *only* register at Neiman's & Nordstrom's? Does it make a difference if you come from a wealthy family? What if you don't? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My best friend came from a well-off family. They registered at a variety of places. A place for her mom's friends, a place for their own friends. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 My best friend came from a well-off family. They registered at a variety of places. A place for her mom's friends, a place for their own friends. ;) Like...Target on the one end & maybe Neiman's on the other? My question is: is it rude to *not* have this spectrum? Does it send a message to guests that anything less than Neiman's isn't good enough? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Like...Target on the one end & maybe Neiman's on the other? My question is: is it rude to *not* have this spectrum? Does it send a message to guests that anything less than Neiman's isn't good enough? I don't think it's rude not to have a spectrum. People are not required to bring a gift off of the registry, they aren't required to bring a gift at all. I received plenty of gifts that were not on my registry. They were probably more useful than what *I thought* I needed as a bride. Things like...oh, a crockpot. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrogMom5 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 If it were my wedding and I was well-off, I'd register at different places. If someone else only registers at the expensive place, I don't know. I guess I'd look for something I could afford and if I couldn't find anything - well, do you look somewhere else? Give cash? I really don't know about these things. But, I don't think it's rude on their part. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I don't think it matters where you register. There is no requirement that guest must purchase the exact items you listed at that store. If the person who registered expected guests to purchase only those items from only those stores that would be rude. I only registered at one china store (a Lenox store). People who inquired if I was registered got the name of the store and found out the pattern. Then, I think the majority found items at discount shops. Some people bought one plate, some people bought more. Some people gave us something completely different and that was great too--it's gift after all, it's what the giver chooses to give not what the recipient demands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Like...Target on the one end & maybe Neiman's on the other? My question is: is it rude to *not* have this spectrum? Does it send a message to guests that anything less than Neiman's isn't good enough? I think it's fine. Register where you want... people will buy what they can afford, and if they happen to see a similar product to one you've registered for at Target and that's more comfortable for the guest, then that's fine as well. At least, that's how I see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I think it's important to know your audience, so to speak. Our church is very middle class, average income. A young woman is getting married this Saturday and the church gave her a shower a couple of weeks ago. She registered at Target, Kohl's and J. C. Penney. Sounds fine, right? Well there were some pretty unusual things on those registries. I couldn't afford anything that was listed at Penney's and Kohl's. Even the options at Target were kind of slim. Most items were $100 and up. I'd never seen anything like it. She got a lot of stuff that was not on the registry. Not one of the older members of the church showed up at her shower. I know they felt it was rude of her to have such high priced items. So, I think that maybe it's not the store that matters so much but the price range of items registered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Not being familiar with either store (Canadian here) I'd have to ask if there isn't a wide range of prices, even at the more 'upscale' store. At least, that was my impression, that you pick out things in a range of prices, etc. Picking out stuff that's all $100+ just smacks of greed to me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry in OH Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 No. If the honoree chooses to register for gifts, she should do so at stores in which she regularly shops. Registering for gifts gives otherwise clueless friends and relatives an idea of what the honoree would like. They are under no obligation to purchase items on the registry or even items from that store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 I think it's important to know your audience, so to speak. Our church is very middle class, average income. A young woman is getting married this Saturday and the church gave her a shower a couple of weeks ago. She registered at Target, Kohl's and J. C. Penney. Sounds fine, right? Well there were some pretty unusual things on those registries. I couldn't afford anything that was listed at Penney's and Kohl's. Even the options at Target were kind of slim. Most items were $100 and up. I'd never seen anything like it. She got a lot of stuff that was not on the registry. Not one of the older members of the church showed up at her shower. I know they felt it was rude of her to have such high priced items. So, I think that maybe it's not the store that matters so much but the price range of items registered. My mom would get really mad at registries like that. When I got married, she insisted that we needed some items $5 & below for poor college friends, so they could feel like there was an option there of something we really needed/wanted that they could afford. Even asking a person to go to the expensive stores first--often 30min to an hour away, unless you live in downtown--to *see* what they like so that people then have to search around for a discounted version...irks me. BUT I think buying off of a registry is in itself a gift. The gifts that I have received off-registry were often...well, they were re-gifted in some cases, which...I wouldn't mind *at all* except...well, I got 5 crockpots at one shower where 5 people showed up. None of them looked happy to be there. Then there was the baby shower, where we were SO poor, only registered for inexpensive things, but nobody used the registry, so we ended up w/ only the stuff that we'd already been given as hand-me-downs. Why off-registry? Because they saw these things *weren't* on my registry & knew that I "didn't know any better." :( Not to be ungrateful. Just...have been taught one kind of etiquette & am running into something else. For *me* the most generous thing I can do for someone is to buy. off. the. registry. :lol: I'd rather not be "shut out" of that, unless, you know, I happen to be friends w/ the Prince of Wales. I have a harder time if it's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My mom would get really mad at registries like that. When I got married, she insisted that we needed some items $5 & below for poor college friends, so they could feel like there was an option there of something we really needed/wanted that they could afford. Even asking a person to go to the expensive stores first--often 30min to an hour away, unless you live in downtown--to *see* what they like so that people then have to search around for a discounted version...irks me. BUT I think buying off of a registry is in itself a gift. The gifts that I have received off-registry were often...well, they were re-gifted in some cases, which...I wouldn't mind *at all* except...well, I got 5 crockpots at one shower where 5 people showed up. None of them looked happy to be there. Then there was the baby shower, where we were SO poor, only registered for inexpensive things, but nobody used the registry, so we ended up w/ only the stuff that we'd already been given as hand-me-downs. Why off-registry? Because they saw these things *weren't* on my registry & knew that I "didn't know any better." :( Not to be ungrateful. Just...have been taught one kind of etiquette & am running into something else. For *me* the most generous thing I can do for someone is to buy. off. the. registry. :lol: I'd rather not be "shut out" of that, unless, you know, I happen to be friends w/ the Prince of Wales. I have a harder time if it's family. Ah, I see. Well, my answer to your original question stands. I don't think it's rude to ask for what you want. It might be WISE to have a wide range of gifts, but it's not rude not to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Ah, I see. Well, my answer to your original question stands. I don't think it's rude to ask for what you want. It might be WISE to have a wide range of gifts, but it's not rude not to do that. :iagree: I think that if one only registers at one or two stores and they have similar price lines (as you mentioned N and NM) then it is perfectly appropriate to go to one or the other and get a gift card in an amount that is within one's budget -- or look at the colors the bride has in her selections and get dish towels or napkin rings and napkins at World Market or something. HTH;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 *where* you choose to register for wedding/baby showers? For ex, if you *only* register at Neiman's & Nordstrom's? Does it make a difference if you come from a wealthy family? What if you don't? I'm not sure if it's rude or not, but it certainly does make a statement to only register at places like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 When we got married, we registered at Hudson's, mostly for dh's family, and then at Target for the rest of the (more normal) world. It was fun registering at a nice store, and fun getting gifts from there, but we were not offended to get things from Target! I think, if someone chooses to register at someplace and you can't buy off the registry, a gift card is a wonderful idea. I like to buy actual gifts, but we were able to get a lot of things we did not received but needed, with returns and cash. (I don't think gift cards were all that widely used at that time. That, and the fact that I registered at Hudson's, tell you something about my age. Let's not discuss it, OK? :D) I understand where you're coming from. I do. I remember being a bride, though, and not thinking about much beyond my wedding and my fiancé. My mom did bring me back to reality occasionally, for which I was grateful, but left to my own devices, I would have been off in la-la land. I try to give brides a little grace in that area. At that time in life, things often seem so important, and I'm sure it feels very special to register at a fancy department store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) I wouldn't say it's rude...I mean it's your call (or whoever is registering LOL)----I think I registered at a few different places....our town is kinda limited.....I say register wherever you want to. :D and I mean you could always list gift cards welcome..... Edited March 31, 2011 by SweetMissMagnolia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I think one should always pick two different places, maybe one upscale and one...not-so-much. And, stick with places that are either everywhere (like Target) and/or on-line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry in OH Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Ah, I see. Well, my answer to your original question stands. I don't think it's rude to ask for what you want. It might be WISE to have a wide range of gifts, but it's not rude not to do that. :iagree: There is nothing wrong with several guests pooling their money to buy an item. There is also nothing wrong with giving a homemade gift, cash, or a gift card (available at most grocery stores). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) I understand where you're coming from. I do. I remember being a bride, though, and not thinking about much beyond my wedding and my fiancé. My mom did bring me back to reality occasionally, for which I was grateful, but left to my own devices, I would have been off in la-la land. I try to give brides a little grace in that area. At that time in life, things often seem so important, and I'm sure it feels very special to register at a fancy department store. Thanks for saying that, lol. I guess I'm a fuddy-duddy, & I should go hang out w/ the old people at pp's church. ;) Fwiw, I felt sorry for the brides Mom would get so annoyed with, but...well, I guess this is my first "adult" wedding. The rest of us got married when we were 20, give or take a year, so we were all poor & had...um...lower expectations. I will try to be friendlier. I will resist the urge to find brown macrame at the Good Will for a gift. I will be nice, I will be nice, I will be nice. And the rest of the time, I will hide. PS: Please don't hate me for being a fuddy-duddy. I'm nice in other ways. Wait. No I'm not. Well. I might be good for a laugh, at least, & really, these days, that's something. Edited March 31, 2011 by Aubrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I will try to be friendlier. I will resist the urge to find brown macrame at the Good Will for a gift. I will be nice, I will be nice, I will be nice. :lol: If you do find brown macrame at Good Will, will you PLEASE PROMISE to take a picture of you with a beatific smile and the bride trying to look grateful and not horrified? Pretty please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I don't think it's rude not to have a spectrum. People are not required to bring a gift off of the registry, they aren't required to bring a gift at all. I received plenty of gifts that were not on my registry. They were probably more useful than what *I thought* I needed as a bride. Things like...oh, a crockpot. ;) :iagree: I don't feel obligated to give a gift at all. I'm probably missing a social gene somewhere. :D I've not ever gone to a shower without a gift but I have gone to a couple of weddings without a gift back in my poor college student days or I've snagged something on a 75% off 75% rack or knit up some dishcloths. These are people that I love and want to celebrate with. I assume that they love me and want me to celebrate with them. If someone wants to make it all about a money grab...I don't play that game. Back in the day it seemed like registries were about making sure you had enough dishes and that they matched or that you didn't end up with 10 toasters. I wish hope chests and the idea of young girls filling them with their eye on their future with homemade items was in vogue. But I'm very unfashionable. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I don't think it is rude, necessarily, but I do think it is considerate when the honoree(s) are mindful of their loved ones' budgets. That might mean registering at both Neiman Marcus and Target, or it might mean registering for items at a variety of price points at just one store (I've never shopped at NM, but surely they have some items in the < $50.00 range -- hand towels, perhaps). If the honoree(s) registered only for items that were beyond my budget then I would go for a gift card from their store in an amount that I found affordable. No big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 :lol: If you do find brown macrame at Good Will, will you PLEASE PROMISE to take a picture of you with a beatific smile and the bride trying to look grateful and not horrified? Pretty please? Don't tempt me. I've done that before. Not to a bride, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 :lol: If you do find brown macrame at Good Will, will you PLEASE PROMISE to take a picture of you with a beatific smile and the bride trying to look grateful and not horrified? Pretty please? :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) I wish hope chests and the idea of young girls filling them with their eye on their future with homemade items was in vogue. But I'm very unfashionable. :D I agree with you! Edited April 1, 2011 by Mrs Mungo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 :iagree: I don't feel obligated to give a gift at all. Maybe this is part of it. I love giving gifts. I hate feeling not good enough. Ok, I finally got the courage to look at the list. It's not as bad as I thought. Still, though, who wants to show up with a gift bag & a salad knife in it? I want to buy the laundry basket & fill it w/ all the other stuff. :lol: *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 It wouldn't really matter to me. We have set a standard of $20 for weddings/babies/house warming/graduations etc. So if you register at Target, the $20 I'm spending on you is going to go farther. If you register at Nieman Marcus, you're probably going to get a spatula and a card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I registered at only one place, a high-end (to me) department store. I registered because I was told my DH's grandmother expected me to register and to register there. I did try to include items from a variety of price ranges. I'm not sure anyone other than DH's grandmother and a few aunts even knew I had registered. I certainly didn't go around announcing it. I actually think it looks greedier to register at multiple places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Sometimes it's fun to mock bridal registries, you know. As if they really think people are going to purchase that ridiculously expensive widget. Not that *I* would ever do that, of course, but it might make you feel better. :D When we were looking at stuff, dh made me choose china. I didn't really want to, but neither did I want to be stuck with the china his ex-girlfriend had decided they wanted from his grandmother, so I chose some. When I went to choose silver, I fell in love with a beautiful sterling pattern. Then I nearly fainted from sticker shock. I still love it, but honestly, we needed more than a spoon when we got married, and that's probably what we'd have ended up with. My family either would have gone together to get us what they could afford, or laughed out loud and bought something else. My MIL assured me that she would continue to give me pieces throughout our marriage, but I have a big family and needed actual silverware for when they came to dinner. I just could not imagine registering for silver, when one FORK cost more than an entire place setting of my china! (I just Googled the pattern I love for fun. A four-piece place setting is $740. A dinner fork is $240. I'm giggling. A lot. You can get really cool coordinating accessories like magnifying glasses and cheese graters - because everyone should have a sterling silver cheese grater. :blink::smilielol5:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 It wouldn't really matter to me. We have set a standard of $20 for weddings/babies/house warming/graduations etc. So if you register at Target, the $20 I'm spending on you is going to go farther. If you register at Nieman Marcus, you're probably going to get a spatula and a card. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 My cousin and his wife had a hilarious wedding registry. They had a whole bunch of bedding and towels and bathroom sets (like 5 different shower curtain matchy sets) and no kitchen stuff! I asked my aunt about it and she said the bride didn't want any dishes because they don't have a dishwasher so she doesn't like to do dishes. My aunt bought them a dishwasher, everyone else bought gift cards to Bed, Bath and Beyond. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhgillil Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think only registering for certain stores is rude, but I do think it is inconsiderate to have mainly higher priced items when many weddings guests will not be able to find something in their price range on the registry. For example, some friends of mine are getting married and they are registered at typical stores, but they have very few items under $50 and many are over $100 (I think there were four or five lower priced items). The majority of their friends are still in college or have just graduated and are therefore flat broke. Needless to say, the lower priced items were crossed off the registries long before the wedding shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I think what kills me is when the couple has been living together for years, and then registers for insanely priced stuff, exclusively. I mean, I was taught that wedding gifts, baby showers, etc were to help folks get ready for the next stage in life...not to enable drastic upgrades in their stuff. I mean, huge tvs, home theatre systems...ack! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Why would it be "rude"???? :confused::confused::confused: Now, I know for a fact that if I registered at, say, Neiman Marcus, I wouldn't get a single gift from there, because not one of my friends can afford it. Would I be stupid to register there? Yes. Would it be rude? No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think the store itself matters so much as the price range of items you choose. I think there should be options for everyone. I know I use the inexpensive items from my bridal and baby registries just as often (and sometimes more often) than the bigger/more expensive ones. I don't think registering at multiple places is necessarily impolite either. When I got married, my MIL really wanted me to have multiple options, particularly since lots of people were starting to shop online, but the older women in the church, many of whom attended my shower, were more comfortable with a store they could visit. I personally prefer when people have registries. I'm not a very creative gift-giver, and I appreciate the hints as to their tastes and needs. Also, I figure if something is very obviously missing from the registry, then it's not needed. Maybe they found a great sale on a mixer, or someone handed down a high chair, or whatever. (I also appreciate if they mention wanting to use cloth diapers or breastfeeding preference or whatever too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think it's rude. But, I can tell you what is rude. We were once invited to a wedding in which there was a beautiful card included in the invite that stated the only "accepted" gifts would be those from their registry at Neiman Marcus. Oh yeah, we were ticked. But, we ran down to Neiman's to see what there was on the registry. Not one single item less than $200.00. Dh's income, at the time, was $17,000.00 per year and I was still finishing up my under-grad degree. We didn't go to the wedding; we didn't even send a card. We heard around the grape vine that very few people attended. Oh, my completely, socially inept cousin sent a note with her wedding invitations that since his family was well to do and had given them everything they needed, they would really like to not receive gifts, but a money tree for your donation would be provided!!!! That didn't go over real well either. My dad, bless his heart, made his point by purchasing fire alarms and a kitchen fire extinguisher for them and laid it under the empty money tree. LOL (I have so many hilarious stories from that wedding, this one was actually quite minor in comparison.) Faithb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think that is rude. It doesn't mean the gifts must be bought at the chosen stores, and it doesn't mean the only gifts which can be given are those which are registered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Yeah... I think it's sorta rude. Apparently I'm in the minority. It also irritates me when people register for only expensive stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Look at the Neimans list. Go to Target, and buy the same thing for $20. You're both happy! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think it's rude. But, I can tell you what is rude. We were once invited to a wedding in which there was a beautiful card included in the invite that stated the only "accepted" gifts would be those from their registry at Neiman Marcus. Oh yeah, we were ticked. But, we ran down to Neiman's to see what there was on the registry. Not one single item less than $200.00. Dh's income, at the time, was $17,000.00 per year and I was still finishing up my under-grad degree. We didn't go to the wedding; we didn't even send a card. We heard around the grape vine that very few people attended. Oh, my completely, socially inept cousin sent a note with her wedding invitations that since his family was well to do and had given them everything they needed, they would really like to not receive gifts, but a money tree for your donation would be provided!!!! That didn't go over real well either. My dad, bless his heart, made his point by purchasing fire alarms and a kitchen fire extinguisher for them and laid it under the empty money tree. LOL (I have so many hilarious stories from that wedding, this one was actually quite minor in comparison.) Faithb LOL! Faith, is your cousin my niece?? I had nearly that same experience a couple of years ago. I heard through the grapevine (and picture proof) that there was nothing on the "money tree" not. a. dime. Very few attended that wedding, either. Gee... wonder why? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I think registering anywhere is an impolite practice, but I don't view people who do it as impolite people. It's one act among many. I also completely understand people who think it is impolite NOT to register anywhere or give potential gift-givers any idea of what gifts to buy. Our close friends and family--people who would buy us gifts--know us well enough to know we don't need a thing and also well enough to pick something we love or something we can all laugh at together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think it's rude. But, I can tell you what is rude. We were once invited to a wedding in which there was a beautiful card included in the invite that stated the only "accepted" gifts would be those from their registry at Neiman Marcus. Oh yeah, we were ticked. But, we ran down to Neiman's to see what there was on the registry. Not one single item less than $200.00. Dh's income, at the time, was $17,000.00 per year and I was still finishing up my under-grad degree. We didn't go to the wedding; we didn't even send a card. We heard around the grape vine that very few people attended. :blink: Not surprised at the low attendance! Wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I wouldn't consider it rude--it's the parents' prerogative to register wherever they like. However, if you know it's out of the price range of those who will be buying gifts, it's terribly impractical. :) I've had friends register for expensive items because they had family or friends in other states who were ordering those things for them and having them shipped. So, those receiving invitations should remember that registering isn't necessarily just for those attending a baby shower, and that no one is obligated to purchase a gift exclusively from a registry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 *where* you choose to register for wedding/baby showers? For ex, if you *only* register at Neiman's & Nordstrom's? Does it make a difference if you come from a wealthy family? What if you don't? I would give them a gift card for target or some other reasonable place. I wouldn't even try to keep up with the Jones in this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 But, I can tell you what is rude. We were once invited to a wedding in which there was a beautiful card included in the invite that stated the only "accepted" gifts would be those from their registry at Neiman Marcus. :blink: We didn't go to the wedding; we didn't even send a card. We heard around the grape vine that very few people attended. Why am I not surprised? Oh, my completely, socially inept cousin sent a note with her wedding invitations that since his family was well to do and had given them everything they needed, they would really like to not receive gifts, but a money tree for your donation would be provided!!!! :blink: That didn't go over real well either. My dad, bless his heart, made his point by purchasing fire alarms and a kitchen fire extinguisher for them and laid it under the empty money tree. :thumbup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think it's rude not to have a spectrum. People are not required to bring a gift off of the registry, they aren't required to bring a gift at all. I received plenty of gifts that were not on my registry. They were probably more useful than what *I thought* I needed as a bride. Things like...oh, a crockpot. ;) Oh, ya just HAD to go there, didntcha?! Well, ya know what?! I registered for not wearing shoes in the house, leaving my shopping cart any place I d.a.m.n well please and slicing my meatloaf thick....! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Oh, ya just HAD to go there, didntcha?! Well, ya know what?! I registered for not wearing shoes in the house, leaving my shopping cart any place I d.a.m.n well please and slicing my meatloaf thick....! :tongue_smilie: :lol::smilielol5::smilielol5: Whew, thanks, I needed that giggle before bed. :cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I think it's important to know your audience, so to speak. Our church is very middle class, average income. A young woman is getting married this Saturday and the church gave her a shower a couple of weeks ago. She registered at Target, Kohl's and J. C. Penney. Sounds fine, right? Well there were some pretty unusual things on those registries. I couldn't afford anything that was listed at Penney's and Kohl's. Even the options at Target were kind of slim. Most items were $100 and up. I'd never seen anything like it. She got a lot of stuff that was not on the registry. Not one of the older members of the church showed up at her shower. I know they felt it was rude of her to have such high priced items. So, I think that maybe it's not the store that matters so much but the price range of items registered. Interesting... in my circle of friends, 3 or 4 of us would have gone in on the $100 plus item. Our friends know this, so that is why they would be comfortable putting these items on their registry list in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 My cousin and his wife had a hilarious wedding registry. They had a whole bunch of bedding and towels and bathroom sets (like 5 different shower curtain matchy sets) and no kitchen stuff! I asked my aunt about it and she said the bride didn't want any dishes because they don't have a dishwasher so she doesn't like to do dishes. My aunt bought them a dishwasher, everyone else bought gift cards to Bed, Bath and Beyond. :D LOVE IT! What a true gift of love :bigear:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthiopianFood Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 It wouldn't really matter to me. We have set a standard of $20 for weddings/babies/house warming/graduations etc. So if you register at Target, the $20 I'm spending on you is going to go farther. If you register at Nieman Marcus, you're probably going to get a spatula and a card. But see, that would be just fine with me! I put a LOT of thought into my registries (i.e. wedding and baby). I tried very hard to pick things I really, truly wanted and needed. I also made sure there was a wide range of prices. It is frustrating to me that there are many people who would rather buy something the giftee doesn't even necessarily want than buy something that they have expressly requested but seems like it's "too little." If I registered for a spatula, why would I be upset if I get a spatula?? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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