Anne in CA Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Last night at my nephew's Eagle Court of Honor my sister-in-law shared an awful situation she just found out she was in. As a mom with seven kids who works full time and her husband works full time she was behind on some school fees that she was disputing for years. Because of this the high school her three middle daughters attend did not send my SIL report cards. To combat this my SIL went to EVERY SINGLE parent teacher conference to check on the grades of her three girls. All teachers told her that her girls were doing well, but needed to turn in homework to bring up grades. SIL would telll girls to turn in homework, girls would swear they would/ had. Since the next parent/ teacher conference never turned up a teacher who talked about failing grades SIL was unconcearned. This has gone on 2 1/2 years. Now SIL finds out that the oldest of the three has been failing for all 2 1/2 years and is still considered a freshman. SIL found this out when her dd was not allowed to play varsity tennis because she was a freshman. All three girls have been allowed to play sports this whole time. Oh, and SIL had to pay the tennis coach $30 to get access to this information. SIL went to talk to the vice-principal over this issue and the VP was totally unconcearned, said it was ALL SIL's fault for not paying $150 fees, although SIL has paid all other fees she owed. But VP says that the school will send a tutor to help her catch up, for $75 per half credit. The school also wants a $200 fee to get that started. SIL pulled dd out and put her in a charter school. The younger two girls have not been doing well either, but it is not too late for them to catch up to graduate on time. The older dd will have to work her butt on in charter school. Which is fair, because she didn't do the work, but this was sooo avoidable. But this is an example that your kids are not on auto pilot at ps, it takes a lot of attention to get them through Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Is this school in Oregon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 You said that your SIL was checking on their grades, but she is stating that she did not know they were failing. I mean, either she was told their grades or she wasn't; is she saying that the grades were never expressly communicated, and that she was just told every grading period that they were not turning in their homework? IDK...obviously we have just one side of the story, but I am thinking that, were they my children, there is no way that I would go for 2 1/2 years without receiving an official report card from the school. Yes, the school has certain obligations towards it's students, but so do the parents. What else did she do to make sure the girls were progressing academically, other than tell them to turn in homeowork and then wait until the end of the grading period to find out whether they had or not? What does the parents working full-time have to do with the situation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YarnAddict Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 That's terrible. :( We had a lot of issues going on w/ my side of the family so we put our DD in PS this year for 2nd grade. Her teacher has been wonderful, but there are 29 (!!) in her class and apparently my DD "works slow, and has trouble keeping up her pace" yet she makes excellent grades. I've gotten this 4-5 times this year, I talk to my DD, it gets better for a bit then it's a "problem" again. I think there are just too many in the class. So, all day long she's working hard at school when she comes home and has to do homework. I kept thinking all year, I could do this all myself, and she could be done by 12-1 every day and get to just be a kid. She's so tired all the time despite taking vitamins and getting enough sleep. It's just not the solution we had hoped it would be, and now that things have settled with my side of the family we're bringing our girl back home where she belongs. :) Both HSing and PS have good points and bad, but now that we've done both, I feel like since we can HS, it's definitely the better option for our whole family. Seems like a better option than my daughter struggling to listen and learn in a class of 29 kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 My questions to your SIL would be (not blaming but to understand how the information was missed)....when she was registering the kids each year, what classes were they taking? Wouldn't she notice that they continued to get place in English 9, or the same 9th grade classes over and over. For math, did the child just keep repeating Algebra 1? Electives may have been overlooked, but there are core classes for each year....that require you to pass the previous class before you can move on...how did this not get noticed? Even if she didn't notice the class repeats, did she notice the text books coming home were the same year after year? When you go to the counselor to plan the next years schedule, they tell you what credits a child has and what they need. Was she not involved at all with the planning each year? I wouldn't expect a high school parent teacher conference to tell me anything about the students performance in anything other than that particular class, in that term. If it is mid term and they say 'they need to turn in homework' and the child has repeatedly told you they have been, that should be a clue that the child was having an honesty issue, and some flags would go up. I am guessing there is A LOT more to this story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 None of this makes sense. She had to pay the tennis coach $30 for the info? Like bribing a maitre d' for a good table? There's got to be more to this story. And don't most schools have the kid's grades and assignments online nowadays? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 :grouphug: to your SIL but the situation does sound weird. Why would she have to pay the tennis coach for information? What kind of fees are they in a public school? I did forget to pay our activities fee (paid instead of doing endless fund raisers) one year and they just sent me a reminder. It didn't affect anything about her education. My dd's school has interim progress reports and report cards available online (just started that, before they were mailed home), we have annual guidance meetings to discuss the next years schedules and access to teacher's by email. It would be hard to go 2 1/2 years without knowing something was wrong unless the school took steps to deliberately hide it (which I would think is illegal?). I also periodically see test papers (some teachers have the whole class get them signed by a parent), reports/research papers etc. so it's not too hard to have a pretty good idea what's happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 None of this makes sense. She had to pay the tennis coach $30 for the info? Like bribing a maitre d' for a good table? There's got to be more to this story. And don't most schools have the kid's grades and assignments online nowadays? :iagree: I don't want to blame the mom either, but surely in almost 3 years she should have figured most of this out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 You said that your SIL was checking on their grades, but she is stating that she did not know they were failing. I mean, either she was told their grades or she wasn't; is she saying that the grades were never expressly communicated, and that she was just told every grading period that they were not turning in their homework? IDK...obviously we have just one side of the story, but I am thinking that, were they my children, there is no way that I would go for 2 1/2 years without receiving an official report card from the school. Yes, the school has certain obligations towards it's students, but so do the parents. What else did she do to make sure the girls were progressing academically, other than tell them to turn in homeowork and then wait until the end of the grading period to find out whether they had or not? What does the parents working full-time have to do with the situation? :iagree: This is weird and doesn't make sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I assume that because she had not paid her fees in full, the school imposed some restrictions, including not releasing the report card? (They really have few options when it comes to recovering unpaid fees; withholding the report card is one of them.) Why did she allow the dispute to go on for years? How did she expect it to play out? She would have to pay it, or straighten it out, eventually or her daughters might not get transcripts upon graduation. Frankly, there aren't usually that many teacher conferences in high school, and they are often mid-quarter or at the start of the quarter rather than end-of-quarter. If the girls had homework that was overdue, why did she not follow up with the teachers to see that it had been received? Conferences are not set up to act as report cards; you usually get 5 minutes max, not enough time to get into serious problems - for that you need to book a separate conference. The teachers probably didn't talk about failing grades, because each quarter is a fresh start. They may also have assumed the mom would have seen the report card, and understood the situation. What I don't understand is why the girls have been allowed to continue to play sports. Most jv and varsity sports require that the student keep their grades above a C. Perhaps the girls were playing intermural sports, where such rules didn't apply? I don't understand why the girls did not know their own grades. Or did they? The money dispute put them in a difficult position too, one they had no control over. This family needs to have some heart-to-heart talks about the situation. Why did the SIL need to pay the tennis coach? Were there tennis fees owing? I can understand why the VP put the responsibility back on the mom. The mom knew the school expected payment of the fees, and she chose to ignore the problem and take the consequences. (How does one rack up $150 in fees at a public school? Library fines, perhaps? Lunches given to a child without one? Lost textbooks?) Even if the fees were inappropriately levied, she could still have followed up instead of letting it linger. The older dd has some responsibility here too. She must have known she was considered a freshman. She must have known she was repeating classes, even if her mom didn't. Even the most absent-minded kid could not go 2.5 years not realizing this. It's a lesson learned for everyone involved. I don't blame the school for wanting tutoring fees up-front; the mom has already given the impression that she may not pay her debts. Again, the initial debt may have been a mistake, but she didn't follow up to resolve it. But this is an example that your kids are not on auto pilot at ps, it takes a lot of attention to get them through Anne, you're right. Parents need to be involved in their kids' education, whether public, private, or home. It's different in each scenario, but the parent has the ultimate responsibility no matter the setting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I keep coming back for an update, because this whole situation just seems so odd to me. Anne, do you know what the disputed fees were for? Why were the girls permitted by the school to participate in extra-curruculars if they were failing? Why did the financial dispute persist for 2 1/2 years unresolved? Did mom or dad realize that the girls were repeating core courses year after year? Did mom schedule conferences with each individual teacher, each grading period, for each girl (not regular parent/teacher conferences, but more in-depth meetings to discuss the girls' progress)? I am not surprised that the parents are being asked to pay for tutoring services up front. That is how it worked when I was in school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 at my local high school nothing is withheld until graduation or transfer (transcripts will not be sent and diploma will not be awarded). Students get report cards the whole time. Teachers post assignments online, so a parent can see the assignments for the current grading period and check with the student and teacher about completion of each assignment. I can request progress reports multiple times between grading period which will shows grades and exact titles of missing work. No student who has less than a C average or more than one failing class is permitted to play a sport, whether jv or varsity. At the online program where I work I will verbally tell a parent the grade, but no report or transcript will be sent. I will tell the parent the exact grade, so the parent will know. I don't beat around the bush and say "doing well". We don't send report cards because some people are able to use them to transfer and don't need official transcripts. It is our only leverage. But I do verbally inform parents. At the high school there are typically no parent teacher conferences unless a parent requests them. In September there is back to school night, but teachers will not speak to individual parents at that time. I could see a teacher at back to school night brushing off a parent with "she doing ok, but is missing work". Is that when the SIL visited the school--once a year at back to school night? I would have paid the fee and kept the receipt while I disputed it, if report cards were an issue. I know there are 2 sides, but the SIL sounds a bit irresponsible. Did she not know what classes her girls were taking? At what point did she learn her daughter was taking English 9 and Algebra I for the third time. Is the SIL going to monitor her daughter now that she's enrolled in the charter program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 This story is missing so much information, I honestly don't even think it should be shared. What is the point? It doesn't sound like a situation that very many people could possibly find themselves in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 This story is missing so much information, I honestly don't even think it should be shared. What is the point? It doesn't sound like a situation that very many people could possibly find themselves in. Yep. There are too many holes in this story... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 I just got back from an all day Eagle Scout project, so it took me awhile to get back. I posted before I left because I wanted to post while I had it fresh in my mind. To clarify a little bit: SIL was never able to get a clear grade from the parnet teacher conferences because the teachers don't have grades ready yet when conferences are held. All she was able to get was the information she got. She did not pay attention to the fact that her kids were doing Algebra 1 over and over again because, she was not getting report cards and she will tell you herself that being a sports mom and working full time kept her from realizing this. Block scheduling also makes it much trickier to know what it going on. After all, when you have three children stair stepping in age, besides four others, it is tricky to keep track of who is doing what when there is a complete shake up every three months. Her oldest graduated last year with out this sort of upkeep. She admitted herself that she bears some responsability for this. The $30 fee was to get a print out of her dd's grades that was not a report card. That was a school fee, not a bribe. She had paid thousands of dollars of school fees. The $150 was disputed, from when her kids were signed up for classes she didn't want them to take. She intended to resolve it at some point, but her life is crazy busy. Again, I am not so much trying to get sympathy for her, as make people aware that ps administrators are not in the business of looking out for your kids. They are in the business of collecting fees and tax money, and it is good to be careful when your kids are there. I'm thankful to have caught the attention of so many people. I am not trying to scare people, but I get worried about so many pro ps posts with no different view point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Again, I am not so much trying to get sympathy for her, as make people aware that ps administrators are not in the business of looking out for your kids. They are in the business of collecting fees and tax money, and it is good to be careful when your kids are there. I'm thankful to have caught the attention of so many people. I am not trying to scare people, but I get worried about so many pro ps posts with no different view point. Actually, there have been public school bashing conversations and posts on this board before. You don't see many, though, because we discussed long ago around here that it isn't really a useful thing to post on a homeschooling board. :001_smile: My dh is a public school admnistrator. He certainly doesn't work long hours for less pay than comparable private sector jobs, dealing with sometimes out of control students (and parents,) for any other reason than that he deeply cares for the students in his districts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Again, I am not so much trying to get sympathy for her, as make people aware that ps administrators are not in the business of looking out for your kids. They are in the business of collecting fees and tax money, and it is good to be careful when your kids are there. I'm thankful to have caught the attention of so many people. I am not trying to scare people, but I get worried about so many pro ps posts with no different view point. Honestly, from what you've described the issue is not the school. I really don't know how you could not notice your child repeating a class. It doesn't matter that there was block scheduling or a large family or a lot of sports, the parent should be responsible for knowing what each child is doing in school. This is true public, private or homeschool. I've known since child was in early elementary what the requirements are for public school graduation and the requirements for courses to be taken in high school as expected by universities in my state. It is my responsibility to make sure my child is prepared. Public school could be a means for that preparation, but I have to watch to make sure it's actually happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Parents are the ones who see their children daily, who only have their own children to keep up with. If Mom and Dad cannot even keep up with their own children then how can they possibly blame a school that has hundreds, if not thousands of students, to keep track of? This is not the school's fault. I am sorry that this has happened to those children, but the responsibility is that of their parents. The other things -- work schedules, sports schedules, block schedules -- are excuses that are just too little, too late. It's a hard lesson learned, especially for the students involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJCMom Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I guess I'm unclear as to how the mom in this scenario expected the school to handle it differently. It seems like the mom wasn't paying enough attention to even know what classes the kids were taking, yet it's the school's fault for "not looking after the children"? As though the school bears more responsibility for keeping track than the mom does? I guess I don't get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I don't see this as the school's fault, though. They are dealing with tons of kids. They set up systems to inform parents, but when a parent chooses not to use the system, and a student chooses to keep things from their parent, there's a point where the school has done their share and the responsibility lies with the parent (and to a lesser extent, the teen-aged student). Your SIL may not have gotten clear grades from the parent-teacher conferences, but surely she noticed that she went to English 1 or Alg 1 or whatever over and over again. And didn't she have to sign the course selection forms each year? Didn't she sit down with her dd and help her to figure out what electives she wanted to take the next year? Didn't she go over the forms to be sure dd was getting what she needed for graduation? Even with block scheduling, that should have eventually caused questions. And her daughter surely knew what was going on, and didn't share that info. Didn't they talk a bit about what each kid was doing in school at the dinner table now and again? Didn't the daughter ever ask for help on her homework in the various subjects? And where was Dad in all this? I understand a frazzled mom, really I do. I understand how this could happen when mom is just trying to make a paycheck and keep food on the table. Sometimes, you can't have your finger on everything you'd like to. What I don't understand is putting the blame on the school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 What I don't get is the fees with public education which is supposed to be free and appropriate:glare:. I think it is outrageous that they would withhold report cards and even transcripts IMHO since sometimes people run into financial difficulties:(. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 What I don't get is the fees with public education which is supposed to be free and appropriate:glare:. I think it is outrageous that they would withhold report cards and even transcripts IMHO since sometimes people run into financial difficulties:(. The fees are often for extras (drivers' ed) or lost materials (textbooks, library books) or lunches (given to a child who has forgotten theirs) and so on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 The fees are often for extras (drivers' ed) or lost materials (textbooks, library books) or lunches (given to a child who has forgotten theirs) and so on. And sports. Which in this case sounds like were too much of a focus. Some districts charge a lot for sports. The district next to mine charges $300 per sport. Mine just started charging this year --$100 per sport. Not everyone participates in sports so it seems fair to charge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Again, I am not so much trying to get sympathy for her, as make people aware that ps administrators are not in the business of looking out for your kids. They are in the business of collecting fees and tax money, and it is good to be careful when your kids are there. ? Unless the $150 was a bribe, I don't see how they are "in the business of collecting money," much less standing at the door collecting taxes. I also don't see how this is that helpful as a global warning. It seems to be a personal problem. Of course a parent should be more concerned about his/her child than a teacher, doctor, or police officer. So this could equally well be a random and inappropriate missive against parental financial delinquency, or in favor of birth control (in other words, I don't think ANY of these is the real problem). Did your sister-in-law give her permission for you to broadcast her story on the internet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 My SIL did not give me permission, but I bet there are hundreds of messages posted on this board every month that would annoy someone that their story was posted. It wouldn't annoy her, BTW. If you don't care for the warning, don't read the post. I worry when people here suggest ps as a solution for people who are already not on top of things. Ps is not there to fix your problems. The only example I have of one of the disputed fees was when her dd was signed up for welding without her permission. She got the class changed, but was charged for it. Arts classes are almost as expensive as sports in Oregon. My older dd was charged more than $150 a year for gym fees, locker fees, art supplies and choir robe laundering fees, choir traveling fees, no sports. Sports cost a little more. You could never charge a lunch at the hs my own dd attended. I do think that in SIL's case, sports were the problem, she paid more attenion to them than the grades and now she is paying. Yes, all three girls participated in sports with such poor grades. They participated at a freshman level, so maybe that was the difference? I am unsure. She was sure that they could not participate if their grades were not adaquate. She was wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elinnea Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Honestly, from what you've described the issue is not the school. I really don't know how you could not notice your child repeating a class. It doesn't matter that there was block scheduling or a large family or a lot of sports, the parent should be responsible for knowing what each child is doing in school. :iagree:To me this incident just sounds like mom sent the kids off to school and felt like her job was done. Certainly as a busy mom it would be nice to have someone else to step in and take care of things but the reality is that no one is. It is our responsibility as parents to be involved and advocate for our children. If the school isn't sending out grades or keeping parents informed then mom and dad need to get a little more involved in obtaining that information. Sounds also like there might be some communication issues between the parents and the kids. When I was in school my parents weren't the most involved and may have not known exactly what my siblings and I were doing every day but they knew what classes we were taking and took a general interest in what we were studying, asked about grades on tests, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elinnea Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I worry when people here suggest ps as a solution for people who are already not on top of things. Ps is not there to fix your problems. I agree with you that ps isn't there to fix your problems but perhaps if the parents is that lax then homeschooling isn't going to be the best idea either. It might actually be better for the child to take Alg1 three times over than mom never even getting to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I worry when people here suggest ps as a solution for people who are already not on top of things. Ps is not there to fix your problems. I think you're preaching to the choir here. The people who come to this board are actively involved in their kid's education by homeschooling or afterschooling them. They come to an education board because their kid's education is important to them. People suggest ps for many reasons but not as a way to fix all problems, though the right teachers can help with some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I agree with you that ps isn't there to fix your problems but perhaps if the parents is that lax then homeschooling isn't going to be the best idea either. It might actually be better for the child to take Alg1 three times over than mom never even getting to it. This was my thought too. If a parent can't even keep up with What Classes her children are taking in public school, how is she going to manage home schooling (even with the oversight of a virtual charter)?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 To me this incident just sounds like mom sent the kids off to school and felt like her job was done. Certainly as a busy mom it would be nice to have someone else to step in and take care of things but the reality is that no one is. It is our responsibility as parents to be involved and advocate for our children. If the school isn't sending out grades or keeping parents informed then mom and dad need to get a little more involved in obtaining that information. Sounds also like there might be some communication issues between the parents and the kids. When I was in school my parents weren't the most involved and may have not known exactly what my siblings and I were doing every day but they knew what classes we were taking and took a general interest in what we were studying, asked about grades on tests, etc. :iagree: This mom was definitely checked out. I understand being busy and working and struggling with money, really I do. But to be so out of touch that you don't know that your child is failing for 2 1/2 years? :confused: I don't get it. And there seems to be A LOT missing from this story. :glare: I know it may be tempting to show how evil public school is, but this isn't the best example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 (edited) And there seems to be A LOT missing from this story. :glare: I know it may be tempting to show how evil public school is, but this isn't the best example. :iagree: Why didn't the mom fight harder to get that fee dismissed? It sounds like this went on for a couple years? I would have been on the phone with them daily to get it fixed OR I would have given up and just paid it because knowing my children's progress is worth so much more than digging my feet in and being right! I do feel very bad for the children caught in the middle of this mess. I think the mom should consider paying for the extra tutoring. :( Edited March 22, 2011 by jannylynn typos.again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Mom was paying attention to schedules at some point if she made one of the girls drop a class that she did not approve of, thereby incurring at least a portion of the $150.00 in disputed fees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 What I don't get is the fees with public education which is supposed to be free and appropriate:glare:. I think it is outrageous that they would withhold report cards and even transcripts IMHO since sometimes people run into financial difficulties:(. There were fees like lost library books and lunches (if you forgot your lunch money, they gave you lunch, and you owed the $, as you should) when I was still in school. Report cards and transcripts were withheld if you owed any money to the school. How else is the school going to get $ owed, if they don't have a real consequence? Now, I agree, that some schools do have way too many fees but that's a different discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 None of this makes sense. :iagree:The story doesn't make sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Really? So they take English 9 every year and she doesn't notice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 She did not pay attention to the fact that her kids were doing Algebra 1 over and over again because, she was not getting report cards and she will tell you herself that being a sports mom and working full time kept her from realizing this. Block scheduling also makes it much trickier to know what it going on. After all, when you have three children stair stepping in age, besides four others, it is tricky to keep track of who is doing what when there is a complete shake up every three months. Her oldest graduated last year with out this sort of upkeep. She admitted herself that she bears some responsability for this. She bears most of the responsibility, her children bear the rest. It is not up to the school to make kids do their homework. If she can't work and help with homework, maybe she needs to re-evaluate her lifestyle. Again, I am not so much trying to get sympathy for her, as make people aware that ps administrators are not in the business of looking out for your kids. They are in the business of collecting fees and tax money, and it is good to be careful when your kids are there. This is true. Your kids, their homework, their grades, their ability to graduate is the responsibility of the parents and kids, not the school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elinnea Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I can't get this thread out of my mind because it seems so incredibly disturbing. I guess what bothers me most is that it seems to underline the trend these days of not wanting to take personal responsibility for anything. Everything is always somone else's fault, my hands are tied, etc etc etc:glare: She did not pay attention to the fact that her kids were doing Algebra 1 over and over again because, she was not getting report cards and she will tell you herself that being a sports mom and working full time kept her from realizing this. Having to work full time and having a lot of kids shouldn't be a crutch for not fulfilling your basic obligations towards those children. IMO this includes seeing that your child has a decent education. As for the sports mom thing that I bolded- where are the priorities? I've always found the emphasis on sports in the American educational system to be absurd. Certainly kids should be encouraged to be physically fit but playing sports on a team should not be more important that Math or Science or English. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 (How does one rack up $150 in fees at a public school? Library fines, perhaps? Lunches given to a child without one? Lost textbooks?) Very easy in our school district. There is a registration fee every year. For elementary it is around $125, for middle school it is around $175, for high school it is over $200.. and this is for one child. If I had all four of my kids in ps right now.. I would be paying at least $700 just to enroll them. Then add in sports fees, gym uniforms, locks for locker, band/choir fees, workbook fees, extracurricular fees, etc.. it could easily go over $1000. And drivers ed... I think it is now around $300 and it is automatically charged to your account for the school year your student is turning 16. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I don't understand--how can the child be eligible for sports if she are failing? It really sounds like there is more going on here... :iagree: I thought you had to have a C average to stay on the team? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saille Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I can't get this thread out of my mind because it seems so incredibly disturbing. I guess what bothers me most is that it seems to underline the trend these days of not wanting to take personal responsibility for anything. Everything is always somone else's fault, my hands are tied, etc etc etc:glare: I think that speaks to a concern many homeschoolers do have: public schools as intrusive, Big Brother organizations. In this case, that appears to be what the parent wanted/expected. But, if she makes a big flap about it in the community, it's easy to see how her story might lead to schools trying to "manage" families more in the future. I do think that there's a trend in this country toward seeing education as a service industry in the worst possible sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 I am really sorry to have upset people on this level. What I meant to do was provide balance to a number of threads that I have noticed where people who are having a hard time are encouraged to put their dc in ps. I get worried that people think that solves the problem. PS is not a solution to poor parenting. My intention was to illustrate this. My point was not to get sympathy for my SIL, whose main focus always has been sports. She doesn't have money for her dc to go to college and so her focus has been athletic scholarships, which worked for her oldest who was offered many full ride soccer scholarships. She was not completely checked out, that is the part she is angry about. That no teacher in any parent teacher conference helped her see the bigger picture. She is aware that she should not have been taking these girls to practice and games when their grades were so poor. She thought that they couldn't play unless they had a C average. All three of her girls in hs were failing, just the oldest is in hot water. All of the girls are not playing sports right now and are working on catching up school work. My personal issue, that I was trying not to vent about, is that as a taxpayer in Oregon, there are a lot of parents who do not see the big picture, and we spend almost $2,000 per year per student on administration alone, and this is what we get. If the purpose of ps is to educate those children who have no other options, why does this happen? Why did this situation not merit a parent conference after a year? Why did the school keep letting them play sports, even at a freshman level? There is a lot of information missing here, and a lot of it is missing from the school. SIL was most frustrated about trying to get answers and not understanding the ones she got. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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