Gun etiquette questions

[cindergretta]

If you have a gun on you, should you tell the host/hostess? (This pertains to visiting someone else's home.)

 

If you own a gun, should the information automatically be volunteered, even if no one asked? (This pertains to people visiting your home.)

 

Is that a little more clear?

Edited November 24, 2010 by cindergretta

[Renthead Mommy]

If you're coming into my house with one, I'd want to know.

[Laura Corin]

I think you should tell your hostess if you are carrying a gun into her house. If I visit your house I don't need to know about the gun you own unless I have children with me.

 

Laura

[gardening momma]

I couldn't answer both questions with the poll, so I said "other." If you were wearing the gun, I'd want to know, whether you came to my house or I came to yours. If you own a gun and it's put away in a safe place (locked up) when I come to your house, then you don't need to tell me.

[redsquirrel]

What they said.

[smrtmama]

You don't bring a weapon into my house without notifying me. That's rude and unacceptable. Do whatever you want in YOUR house, but I have a right to know what you're carrying into mine.

[Whereneverever]

I don't know, but I voted no and no. I'd like to know if someone had a gun, but I don't know that I'd ask. I think I voted wrong. :tongue_smilie:

[Murphy101]

Wait. I'm confused.

 

Are we talking what you have in your own home? No. None of their business.

 

Or

 

Are we talking about carrying a concealed into another person's home?

Maybe. It best literally never leave your side holster tho. I would be more than upset if my baby discovered your purse had a weird new toy in it.

[misidawnrn]

We own both handguns and rifles. Anyone that comes into our home can see the rifles since they are in a locked gun cabinet in the corner of the livingroom. I am not sure why someone would need to bring a gun into someones house, concealed or not, unless you live in and are visiting an area where you might need protection. I voted other.

[smrtmama]

My husband is a police officer and carries concealed when off duty (the department encourages officers to do so). He asks before he wears his gun into someone's house. If they object, he leaves it in the locking compartment in the car.

[pqr]

In someone else's home:- absolutely you inform them. When in the States, were I carrying, I would ask permission to bring the firearm into someone's home. I have never had anyone say no, but it is a common courtesy to ask.

 

In my home:- none of your d#%n business what I have there.

Edited November 25, 2010 by pqr

[Parrothead]

Dh is law enforcement. Pretty much everyone we know is either law enforcement or hunts. If you come to my house just go ahead and assume there are guns present somewhere. If you come carrying, please do me the courtesy of letting me know. More than likely while I have guns in the house they are not loaded. (Depends on if dh is home.) By definition carrying concealed means one is going 'round with a loaded weapon.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

If you have a gun on you, should you tell the host/hostess?

 

If you own a gun, should the information automatically be volunteered, even if no one asked?

 

(Disclaimer: The last several years we've been posted overseas or in states that have meant long term storage for our firearms. So my responses are more theoretical than reflecting actual incidents.)

 

I am an advocate for concealed carry and have had a permit in the past (though I can't remember every actually using it to carry).

 

When we had weapons in our home, I didn't announce that to people. So there wasn't any conversation like, "Let's have bookclub at my house as long as no one minds that there is a locked gunsafe in the closet." However, we were living in a state where it wasn't far fetched to think that many homes had a weapon.

 

I'm of a mixed mind on carrying at someone elses home. I'm sure that I've had friends who were in law enforcement who were carrying at my house (or at dinner with me at restaurants) that I wasn't aware of. And we encouraged my mil to get a permit and carry when she held elected office, because there were people who would make very threatening comments to her at town meetings. If she had decided to carry, an protection it might have given her would have been limited if she'd had to leave it in her car frequently. (And thank God most of the threats seemed to be from emotional blowhards and that a discussion with the town police calmed down the more ferverent threat makers.)

 

On the other hand, there would seem to be a presumptiveness and arrogance in carrying a weapon into someone else's private home. My right to a home under my control seems to be as basic as the second amendment right to bear arms. I have a hard time imagining someone who would believe that one person's second amendment right somehow overrides another person's right to control their own home. And I can think of several instances when I might send someone away who had a weapon at my house. Or someone that I might offer to lock up a weapon for (assuming they don't expect to need to whip it out while we're eating pie).

 

Is this a theoretical or is this a wrinkle in family holiday celebrations?

[cindergretta]

Oh dear. Did I make the poll wrong?? ::blush::

 

I am wanting to know two different things:

 

Should a host/hostess be informed of a gun with you (on your person or in your purse, etc.)?

 

Should you (the host/hostess) inform anyone who comes into your home that you have a gun upstairs/in the garage/locked up in the backyard?

 

I am so confused. I have been informed that it is rude to expect guests to let me know if they are packing. (Especially if they are law enforcement.)

 

I have also been informed that it is rude NOT to tell anyone who comes into my home that we own a gun.

 

I am confused. ::sigh::

 

I want to know if you are coming to dinner with a gun under your jacket. I don't announce to everyone that there is a gun locked up upstairs, but I will certainly tell you if you ask. (That is my opinion on the subject. I just wanted to know how "off" I was in my thinking.)

[6packofun]

A. If someone has children that could come across my firearm, in my house or theirs, YEAH I'd better be sharing that info.

 

B. If it's in my home and absolutely locked away with no chance of anyone getting in--as it should be if I'm having guests (negating the possibility of A above.)--then no, I don't see a need to share.

 

Sorry, I wasn't sure about the wording in the poll and what scenarios you were trying to cover.

[Parrothead]

Should a host/hostess be informed of a gun with you (on your person or in your purse, etc.)?

If one brings a firearm into another's home, the host(ess) should be informed.

Should you (the host/hostess) inform anyone who comes into your home that you have a gun upstairs/in the garage/locked up in the backyard?

No.

I am so confused. I have been informed that it is rude to expect guests to let me know if they are packing. (Especially if they are law enforcement.)

I don't find it rude at all. I would fully expect to be informed unless the guest is law enforcement. In that case I'd just assume he/she is carrying.

I have also been informed that it is rude NOT to tell anyone who comes into my home that we own a gun.

As pqr said, It is none of their d@mn business.

I am confused. ::sigh::

 

 

:D

[abbeyej]

Unless someone is in law enforcement AND CURRENTLY IN UNIFORM, they should NOT bring a weapon into my personal home without informing me.

 

I don't need to be informed of locked weapons kept in someone else's home (unless I'm leaving minor children with them).

[Caitilin]

A. If someone has children that could come across my firearm, in my house or theirs, YEAH I'd better be sharing that info.

 

B. If it's in my home and absolutely locked away with no chance of anyone getting in--as it should be if I'm having guests (negating the possibility of A above.)--then no, I don't see a need to share.

 

 

:iagree:Yes, this. This would be my major concern, whether the guns were at all accessible to kids, in your home. If someone were coming to my home, I would surely expect them to ask me if it's OK! We have good friends with a gun safe in their living room; I have no problem with kids being there, as it's always locked, and they have young children themselves, so are conscientious about it. :)

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I answered other because I think you should inform someone if you are bringing a loaded weapon into their home.

 

I also think you should inform me if there are loaded weapons in your home if my children will be playing there without me.

 

If my kids are not involved, I don't think it's any of my business if you have a gun in your home.

[LizzyBee]

I want to know if you are coming to dinner with a gun under your jacket. I don't announce to everyone that there is a gun locked up upstairs, but I will certainly tell you if you ask. (That is my opinion on the subject. I just wanted to know how "off" I was in my thinking.)

 

I voted that it is polite to inform the host if you take a gun into someone else's home. However, if someone is in law enforcement, I'd probably assume they're packing even if they don't tell me. I don't think I'd want anyone else to bring a concealed weapon into my home - I don't see any reason for it.

[cindergretta]

Phew. Thank you. :grouphug:

 

I really thought I was losing my mind or my sanity was questionable. :lol:

 

(It is interesting that the intense negative feedback I received was from a LEO's wife. She felt that her dh having to inform hosts of his weapon was tatamount to "pleading his case" before being allowed in. I never ever meant that! My dad is a former LEO and retired military.)

 

I should add that it seems very common for parents to inquire about guns before playdates. I do. And I have been asked. Our gun is locked up and the ammo is separate. In addition to that, during company, our bedroom is locked. So the gun is doubly locked up. ITA there is a difference between just adults or situations where dc are involved.

Edited November 24, 2010 by cindergretta

[Margo out of lurking]

No one knows about the guns in our home unless they ask. They are not aware my dh carries if we are at their house.

 

However--most people with whom we are friendly know guns may be in our home, or know enough to assume my husband carries. Everywhere. (No, we do not often go to homes of people who are not close enough to already know this.)

 

ETA: In complete honesty, if someone really had some kind of problem with my dh carrying in their home, it's a safe bet we wouldn't be there to begin with. That may sound terribly rude, or as if I don't respect your right to control your house. I do. It's that we would have enough of a difference of an opinion of firearms that we would likely have little else in common and would not be there as a family at your home. It is typical for us to become friendly with another family and then find that they are gun enthusiasts.

Edited November 24, 2010 by Kristine out of lurking

[pqr]

I don't think I'd want anyone else to bring a concealed weapon into my home - I don't see any reason for it.

 

 

I understand your point, but the reason for it is that it may not be safe/legal to leave it in the car.

 

Someone with a CCP (concealed carry permit) may have a very good reason to carry and if they arrive at your house may have a firearm. Informing you is polite and in my view the right thing to do, if you object then they are in a quandry as to where to put the firearm while they are in your house.

[Parrothead]

 

I should add that it seems very common for parents to inquire about guns before playdates. I do. And I have been asked. Our gun is locked up and the ammo is separate. In addition to that, during company, our bedroom is locked. So the gun is doubly locked up. ITA there is a difference between just adults or situations where dc are involved.

I have never been asked. It doesn't ever cross my mind to tell anyone.

Maybe people just automatically assume there is at least one firearm in the house.

[Parrothead]

I understand your point, but the reason for it is that it may not be safe/legal to leave it in the car.

 

Someone with a CCP (concealed carry permit) may have a very good reason to carry and if they arrive at your house may have a firearm. Informing you is polite and in my view the right thing to do, if you object then they are in a quandry as to where to put the firearm while they are in your house.

At that point if the host(ess) is uncomfortable the best thing to do would be to politely leave and offer to come again another day without the weapon.

[pqr]

At that point if the host(ess) is uncomfortable the best thing to do would be to politely leave and offer to come again another day without the weapon.

 

 

I agree.

[cindergretta]

I have never been asked. It doesn't ever cross my mind to tell anyone.

Maybe people just automatically assume there is at least one firearm in the house.

 

Personally, I would take that to mean that:

 

a) they assume you have one

 

or

 

b) it isn't a primary concern for them

 

But I don't see it as *your* responsibility to announce to all and sundry that you own a gun.

[Murphy101]

I might change my mind about telling the hostess you are visiting.

 

For the most part, I think it unwise to advertise or inform you have a weapon, either concealed or in your home.

 

Word gets out and it can open the door to being a target.

 

"hey, I know where we can get a gun. I heard the neighbor down the street has some in their house and they tend to not be home on ...."

 

Also, if properly concealed, there's no reason for anyone to know. I certainly would not want them to leave it in their car! Too easily stolen there.

 

I would think anyone with sense wouldn't just leave a gun in their purse on the floor either. Personally, I think it should be literally on their person or left at home. I'm sure someone will disagree, but I can't think of any safer place for it.

[abbeyej]

...if you object then they are in a quandry as to where to put the firearm while they are in your house.

 

A quandry?!? A QUANDRY?!?!?!?!

 

Really? You want me to let any idiot with a concealed weapon permit bring a gun into my home because otherwise they might face a "quandry"?!?!?

 

Roflol. ... No.

[Murphy101]

A quandry?!? A QUANDRY?!?!?!?!

 

Really? You want me to let any idiot with a concealed weapon permit bring a gun into my home because otherwise they might face a "quandry"?!?!?

 

Roflol. ... No.

 

Um, why are you inviting idiots?

 

They are not any idiot. They are your invited guests. They might well still be idiots, but it's not like they are random people off the street.

[Parrothead]

Personally, I would take that to mean that:

 

a) they assume you have one

 

or

 

b) it isn't a primary concern for them

 

But I don't see it as *your* responsibility to announce to all and sundry that you own a gun.

I agree.

[Margo out of lurking]

Really? You want me to let any idiot with a concealed weapon permit bring a gun into my home because otherwise they might face a "quandry"?!?!?

 

 

In my state, your guest would have no alternative but to leave. I believe leaving the gun in the car would be illegal.

[smrtmama]

A quandry?!? A QUANDRY?!?!?!?!

 

Really? You want me to let any idiot with a concealed weapon permit bring a gun into my home because otherwise they might face a "quandry"?!?!?

 

Roflol. ... No.

 

:iagree:

 

I don't really give a rat's patootie if they're in a quandry or not. It's my house and they WILL do the courtesy of informing me if they're carrying. The "quandry" is their problem.

[SonshineLearner]

I'm ok with packing, if it's left on the person; in their purse is not the same. Of course, this is if they are mentally stable :) My dad packs often; kinda funny to know that the reason a person won't take off their jacket is because their gun is visible. Kinda nice if you're someplace you get held up. Course, that's if the person has good aim. I would want to know if someone had their gun where my child could get it, if it's possibly loaded! :)

[Audrey]

Disclosure: I absolutely detest guns.

 

I would want to know if you were packing before you came in my house. I would ask you to leave your gun at home. If I ever found out you were packing in my house and didn't tell me, I'd never speak to you again and you'd certainly never cross my threshold again in your life. Period.

 

If you keep your guns locked up securely in your house, it's not my business. If my child will be in your house and any guns will be unsecured for any amount of time, I want to know. If I ever found out that my child ever had access in any way to your guns (loaded or unloaded), I would verbally rip you a new one and that would be the end of our relationship. Period.

[TravelingChris]

No one has ever asked if we have a gun. For the last 7 or so years, we have owned a gun but not had ammunition (we had to leave it behind when we moved overseas and have never bought anymore to replace it). Furthermore the weapon has a gun lock. Why should anyone know? THere is no way anyone could be hurt unless they know how to pick locks and happen to have a properly sized bullet to fit into the gun. Of course I don't announce the weapon. (We do like to target shoot but haven't had time to do it these last few years ((and couldn't without much hassle overseas))).

[pqr]

A quandry?!? A QUANDRY?!?!?!?!

 

Really? You want me to let any idiot with a concealed weapon permit bring a gun into my home because otherwise they might face a "quandry"?!?!?

 

Roflol. ... No.

 

 

I generally do not invite idiots into my home.

 

I stated that the individual has an obligation to tell you.

 

If you refuse to allow him to carry, which is your right, he is in a quandry. What is funny about that? If it were me I would obviously leave but would still have been in a quandry.

 

Seems you are finding cause for argument where none exists.

[joannqn]

I'd probably want to know if a gun was coming into my house. I have a police officer friend; I would assume he may have his gun with him whether he told me or not. It wouldn't bother me if a police officer brought his weapon to my home without my knowledge because of that assumption. I would want to know for those not in law enforcement.

 

If someone has guns in their home, I'd want to know if my kids were coming with me. Again, if the person is law enforcement, I assume they have guns and it doesn't bother me.

[lionfamily1999]

Disclosure: I absolutely detest guns.

 

I would want to know if you were packing before you came in my house. I would ask you to leave your gun at home. If I ever found out you were packing in my house and didn't tell me, I'd never speak to you again and you'd certainly never cross my threshold again in your life. Period.

 

If you keep your guns locked up securely in your house, it's not my business. If my child will be in your house and any guns will be unsecured for any amount of time, I want to know. If I ever found out that my child ever had access in any way to your guns (loaded or unloaded), I would verbally rip you a new one and that would be the end of our relationship. Period.

I don't detest guns, but I agree about never speaking to someone again. I would consider that an INCREDIBLE breach of trust. I'm allowing you in my home, you sure as hades better tell me you have a weapon BEFORE you step one little toe over my threshold (at which point I'd offer to visit on the porch, or you could stash it in your car).

 

As for telling me you have guns... I wouldn't expect to be informed. Even if my kids were playing there, my thought would be either the weapon would be obvious (lots of gun racks in living rooms around here) or else it would be in a place far from my children. I know accidents happen, but if I were keeping a gun in a safe I would not broadcast that information, so I wouldn't expect anyone else to. However, if I found out my children had access to your weapons, I'm with Audrey. You'd have some new and exciting orifices and one less family to socialize with.

[pqr]

:iagree:

 

I don't really give a rat's patootie if they're in a quandry or not. It's my house and they WILL do the courtesy of informing me if they're carrying. The "quandry" is their problem.

 

Who has disagreed with you? Certainly not I.

[Parrothead]

However, if I found out my children had access to your weapons, I'm with Audrey. You'd have some new and exciting orifices and one less family to socialize with.

What do you consider access? Would you consider it accessable if an unloaded rifle is in the back of a closet which your child would have no logical reason to be in?

[cindergretta]

I am curious:

 

13 people have said it is acceptable to wear/bring a weapon into someone else's home without telling the homeowner. But there aren't many (at all) replies in the thread explaining that POV. I am not looking to argue. :001_smile: I just really want to understand why that would be Ok.

[lionfamily1999]

What do you consider access? Would you consider it accessable if an unloaded rifle is in the back of a closet which your child would have no logical reason to be in?

If they come home and talk about handling someone's gun. I'm alright floating along in ignorance, just as long as my kids are riding that same wave ;) Once they start discussing someone's guns, though (excluding the hunting rifles hanging over the couch, unless they are talking about shooting them or hanging out with someone shooting them) we have problems.

 

ETA, we have btdt with dd and a particular stoopid father of a friend.

[Nakia]

I expect to know if anyone brings a gun in my home.

 

If we visit someone's home, I like to know if they have a gun and if it is securely locked up. If I don't know, I ask. I still have a pretty young child who is very curious. I like to make sure she is going to be safe. No one has ever seemed offended when I have asked. Of course, most of the people we visit have young children as well, and they have met Cora (lol), so they understand my concern. Of course, I'm not worried about making someone uncomfortable; I'm more concerned with keeping my children safe.

[Murphy101]

What do you consider access? Would you consider it accessable if an unloaded rifle is in the back of a closet which your child would have no logical reason to be in?

 

 

Yes, inquiring minds want to know what defines "access"?

 

If someone does not want guns brought into their home, fine by me. Their home and all that.

 

My house however is my house. Tho we have no guns, if we were to have them, I would take reasonable measures for proper use and location.

[Murphy101]

I am curious:

 

13 people have said it is acceptable to wear/bring a weapon into someone else's home without telling the homeowner. But there aren't many (at all) replies in the thread explaining that POV. I am not looking to argue. :001_smile: I just really want to understand why that would be Ok.

 

I said I might change my mind to that and I stated why.

 

1. It just seems to make some people unnecessarily uncomfortable.

 

2. It could invite trouble/theft. (When a cop carries a gun, it sends two messages. One, that he is capable and willing to defend. Sadly the other is that someone can either try to take his gun or let's them know they should have a gun too. There's no element of surprise for a cop. This can be true for carrying citizens as well.)

[jujsky]

If someone is coming into your home, then no -- I don't think it's any of their business. If someone with a gun is coming into MY home then I'd want to know so I could then ask them to remove it from my home.

[cindergretta]

I said I might change my mind to that and I stated why.

 

1. It just seems to make some people unnecessarily uncomfortable.

 

2. It could invite trouble/theft. (When a cop carries a gun, it sends two messages. One, that he is capable and willing to defend. Sadly the other is that someone can either try to take his gun or let's them know they should have a gun too. There's no element of surprise for a cop. This can be true for carrying citizens as well.)

 

Ok. So are you LE? If not and you were concerned it might make someone uncomfortable, what are your reasons for bringing your weapon? :)

 

I totally don't understand the "element of surprise" thing in #2. Help?

[tex-mex]

In Texas, there is a concealed weapon law. I think that those who go to the trouble of registering the weapon, are former/current law enforcement, former soldiers, NRA, and take gun safety classes -- I have no issue with them.

 

It is the perp who carries the gun into my home (no registering here in TX if you buy it at a gun show, for example) who has a criminal history or emotional/mental instability I have more of an issue with. But then I do not invite people like that into my home nor visit their home. HTH

[Audrey]

Yes, inquiring minds want to know what defines "access"?

 

If someone does not want guns brought into their home, fine by me. Their home and all that.

 

My house however is my house. Tho we have no guns, if we were to have them, I would take reasonable measures for proper use and location.

 

 

I had said if the guns were secured safely, I was okay with that. If my kid comes home talking about your guns being around the house unsecured then I would consider that access. And here, I'm not just worried about my own son having access to your unsecured guns, but also any of your children having access to your unsecured guns while my child is there. Just as I'm sure you would not relish having to wash your child's guts off your floor, I'd rather not burden you with the task of having to scrape my child's brains off of your wall.