Would you tell a friend about her grammatical error? It's in the TITLE of her blog

[msjones]

I would want someone to tell me, but...what do you think? Would YOU tell her? She's not a close friend, but someone I'm getting to know better, spending more time with.

 

The error is like this : The Smith's Daily Doodads

 

It should say: The Smiths' Daily Doodads -- shouldn't it? She's not a blacksmith. ;)

 

She actively sends this blog out to many folks. I would want very much to be told, but I doubt everyone feels that way. What do you think?

[rookie]

link her blog here and one of us will do her/you the favor....;)

[Oops, duplicate account :/]

link her blog here and one of us will do her/you the favor....;)

 

 

:lol:

[Aubrey]

Only my sis can get away w/ telling me things like that. I'd never, never, never tell someone about a grammatical error anywhere, esp not such a minor one. If I make such a mistake, unless I'm asking someone specifically to edit, I really don't want to know. I'll find it myself, or I won't.

[MamaT]

I have a friend who makes grammatical errors all the time on her blog. It drives me absolutely nuts. I would never tell her. I don't think she would take it well. I have to just let it go.

[TKDmom]

I wouldn't say anything. Maybe she is "The Smith". You know, the only important one in the family. ;)

[elise1mds]

I have a friend who has a spelling error in the name of her blog. I haven't said a word, nor will I. Most likely she'll shrug and not worry about it at this point anyway.

[grace'smom]

I did that once for a friend who was trying to start a professional website and has dyslexia, and she did not appreciate it. I think she would have rather had the errors. You need to know the person very well to know how they'd react.

Edited September 8, 2010 by grace'smom

[regentrude]

Depends. if it is her personal blog, she is "the Smith" - so it is correct.

if she wants it to be about all the Smith family members, it's wrong and you are correct.

[mjpeter]

I guess I would correct it. Same as having a piece of spinach in your teeth, right? You'll experience some initial embarrassment, but be thankful in the end. At least, I would be. :)

[Parrothead]

Tell her.

 

Seriously, if she acts badly toward you, are you really friends?

[angela in ohio]

I wondered the same thing about a spelling error in a friend's blog title.

 

I was too chicken to say anything. :glare:

[Remudamom]

Zip it.

[Danestress]

To me it's like walking around with my pants unzipped. If you see me doing that, please tell me. And if you see an error on my blog, please tell me that, too. If I were prideful about grammar, all would be lost.

[msjones]

Only my sis can get away w/ telling me things like that. I'd never, never, never tell someone about a grammatical error anywhere, esp not such a minor one. If I make such a mistake, unless I'm asking someone specifically to edit, I really don't want to know. I'll find it myself, or I won't.

 

You see that as a minor error? Maybe lots of people do and it's not worth mentioning. But it just screams at me from the top of her blog every time I read it.

 

I know it's a very common error -- I see it all the time.

 

Every year at Christmas I get lots of cards addressed to The Smith's. I would never, ever mention something like that. But seeing her blog sent out into the world topped off with such a glaring error...I feel tempted to help her out. But, I'm waiting to see if any other WTM folks will pipe in here with their opinions.

[Unicorn.]

Depends. if it is her personal blog, she is "the Smith" - so it is correct.

if she wants it to be about all the Smith family members, it's wrong and you are correct.

 

:iagree: w/ regentrude

 

She's not a close friend, but someone I'm getting to know better, spending more time with.

 

?

 

As you said, she is not a close friend. So, no, I wouldn't point it out. I might if she were my best friend in the world, but not to a new acquaintance.

[ChristusG]

Honestly, I don't think most people care about a misplaced apostrophe. She'd probably shrug it off (and possibly think you are crazy for even mentioning it LOL). I probably wouldn't say anything.

[Tap]

Why would you correct her? It is her blog. Her personal collection of thoughts. It is not a professional piece of work, nor is it intended to be. If it bugs you, don't read it.

 

It would be like her allowing you to read her diary, and you red lining it. Unless she asks you to be her proof reader, don't assume that role.

[Aubrey]

You see that as a minor error? Maybe lots of people do and it's not worth mentioning. But it just screams at me from the top of her blog every time I read it.

 

Sure, it's minor--the meaning is still clear. If it were a professional site, that would be one thing, but I don't expect professional editing from personal blogs. Even in the title.

 

I know it's a very common error -- I see it all the time.

 

Every year at Christmas I get lots of cards addressed to The Smith's. I would never, ever mention something like that. But seeing her blog sent out into the world topped off with such a glaring error...I feel tempted to help her out. But, I'm waiting to see if any other WTM folks will pipe in here with their opinions.

 

I wouldn't overestimate the readership of someone's blog. I see blogs much like Christmas cards. I think that people who can't stand small grammatical errors should keep their friendships primarily in person or over the telephone; correcting people's grammar is petty & unfriendly. I wouldn't be rude if someone corrected mine, but I would not pursue further friendship w/ the person because it would seem shallow. My "polished" self is for interviews, not friends.

[Tabula Rasa]

I would ignore it. And if you can't ignore it, avoid her blog. I find it very rude to correct or criticize the grammar of someone else. Unsolicited comments about spelling and grammar should be reserved for your children :p

[Aggie]

To me it's like walking around with my pants unzipped. If you see me doing that, please tell me. And if you see an error on my blog, please tell me that, too. If I were prideful about grammar, all would be lost.

 

:iagree:

 

Since when have we become so prideful that we can't be corrected politely? I'm sure OP will be discreet and humble if/when she mentions it.

 

After Friend knows it's incorrect, she can leave it as it is or remedy it. Her choice.

 

I suspect she'll be more embarrassed that she didn't know the correct spelling than having someone show her how to correct it.

[Miss Sherry]

If it were a blog for a business I would tell her. Most people are probably not all that concerned about a casual, personal blog. She may think you are being a perfectionist if you tell her. But either way, it shouldn't be a very big issue. Even if she does think you are nit picking that will likely be a fleeting thought she has.

[msjones]

Why would you correct her? It is her blog. Her personal collection of thoughts. It is not a professional piece of work, nor is it intended to be. If it bugs you, don't read it.

 

It would be like her allowing you to read her diary, and you red lining it. Unless she asks you to be her proof reader, don't assume that role.

 

Well...

 

I was considering correcting her with the thought that it would be helpful to her -- it is the type of help I would probably appreciate if I were in her shoes. I don't think I said it "bugs" me -- just that it is a prominent error that causes me to wonder if I should help her out. And it is closer to something professional than something purely personal; it is a communicate-with-our-funders-type blog for her family's mission. So, that seems different from a diary.

 

That being said, I do think you're probably right that if she hasn't asked for help I shouldn't offer it.

[Audrey]

I would gently correct her. I have no problem doing that, but then the team of people that works under me alternately call me "the grammar queen" or "the grammar nazi." So, take that for what it's worth. :D

[msjones]

 

 

I wouldn't overestimate the readership of someone's blog. I see blogs much like Christmas cards. I think that people who can't stand small grammatical errors should keep their friendships primarily in person or over the telephone; correcting people's grammar is petty & unfriendly. I wouldn't be rude if someone corrected mine, but I would not pursue further friendship w/ the person because it would seem shallow. My "polished" self is for interviews, not friends.

 

Whoa...

 

I am quite sure she wouldn't terminate the friendship if I pointed out the misplaced apostrophe. She's definitely a laugh-at-herself kind of gal.

 

And I'd like to point out that I didn't say I "couldn't stand" the error. I was just wondering if most people would appreciate help in her situation. I see that many people absolutely would not. And that does answer my question.

 

Also, the blog is sent out weekly to all of the funders for her family's missionary work. It's not much like a Christmas card, it's much more like a newsletter from an organization, which she may or may not want "polished."

[msjones]

:iagree:

 

Since when have we become so prideful that we can't be corrected politely? I'm sure OP will be discreet and humble if/when she mentions it.

 

After Friend knows it's incorrect, she can leave it as it is or remedy it. Her choice.

 

I suspect she'll be more embarrassed that she didn't know the correct spelling than having someone show her how to correct it.

 

Thank you. Yes, I would be discreet and humble about it -- no red pens or failing grades involved. ;)

 

And I just don't get embarrassed about things like grammar or punctuation mistakes. If I've botched it I'd rather be told so I can fix it and carry on.

 

But, I'm glad I posted this because I see now how very differently other folks feel about this. There is lots of energy in some of the replies!

[Miss Sherry]

Well...

 

I was considering correcting her with the thought that it would be helpful to her -- it is the type of help I would probably appreciate if I were in her shoes. I don't think I said it "bugs" me -- just that it is a prominent error that causes me to wonder if I should help her out. And it is closer to something professional than something purely personal; it is a communicate-with-our-funders-type blog for her family's mission. So, that seems different from a diary.

 

That being said, I do think you're probably right that if she hasn't asked for help I shouldn't offer it.

Since this is not just a personal blog that she shares with a few friends, but is more formal because it is sent out as a newsletter , than yes, I think you should let her know about the error.

[katilac]

I wouldn't tell her if it was an error in an entry, but in her title? Absolutely. It's easily done in a polite, friendly way - - and you can even just drop her a "you might want to double-check this" email, so she can cringe and blush privately :D

 

I would be mortified if that type of error slipped by me and no one bothered to correct me. It's so easily fixed! Aubrey won't be your friend if you point it out, but I won't be your friend if you don't, *g*.

[Parrothead]

Whoa...

 

I am quite sure she wouldn't terminate the friendship if I pointed out the misplaced apostrophe. She's definitely a laugh-at-herself kind of gal.

 

And I'd like to point out that I didn't say I "couldn't stand" the error. I was just wondering if most people would appreciate help in her situation. I see that many people absolutely would not. And that does answer my question.

 

Also, the blog is sent out weekly to all of the funders for her family's missionary work. It's not much like a Christmas card, it's much more like a newsletter from an organization, which she may or may not want "polished."

With this bolded bit of information, I'd gently point out to her that there may be a mistake which needs correction.

[CLHCO]

Ok, now I'm going to be paranoid and go look over my blog. :001_unsure:

 

:lol:

 

Years ago I had a blog and in the description there was a minor grammatical error. Someone "instructed" me, one whom I'd never heard from before and never heard from again. I found it annoying, but I'm like that. I would be ok if it was from a good friend, just not some random stranger who happens to bounce around playing the grammar police.

 

If you know her well, I say point it out. If not, let it go.

 

P.S. If you see something on my blog, you have to first be my good friend for a time, then you can point it out, k? ;)

[laughing lioness]

I'm just saying, if it's me, tell away. I had someone from TWTM board correct a spelling mistake on my blog that was prominent and I am so grateful. I am a terrible speller and not so hot with grammar either. I'll take all of the help I can get.

[Jenn in Mo]

I would definitely want to know. I agree with the zipper down/spinach in the teeth comments. It wouldn't embarrass me to find out I had made an error. It would embarrass me if I found out people knew about it and never said anything. I don't get my feelings hurt, like...ever...but finding out someone could have saved me from a continuous error and didn't say anything would feel hurtful.

 

But yeah, easier still, send someone here the link to her blog and let them leave a casual comment. If you posted it in the thread, we'd all be visiting and her blog meter would have an unusual amount of hits from the Well-Trained Board....nothing suspicious about that! lol! :lol:

[NanceXToo]

Well, normally I wouldn't bother "correcting" someone over something like that (I, too, see that as pretty minor).

 

But if you think she'd rather know and that the correction wouldn't bother her, you could always email her with some sort of positive comment pertaining to the blog content, and then add a friendly P.S. at the end so it's more of an afterthought... so that it seems the main point of your email was a positive comment, not a correction kind of thing).

[Aubrey]

Whoa...

 

I am quite sure she wouldn't terminate the friendship if I pointed out the misplaced apostrophe. She's definitely a laugh-at-herself kind of gal.

 

It's not that I'd "terminate" the friendship; I just wouldn't pursue it REALLY hard. I'm not *prideful* about my grammar, either, I just don't like feeling nit-picked.

 

And irl? I'm absolutely a laugh at myself kind of person. The funniest grammar mistake I ever made was a typo on my self-made BEAUTIFUL grad invitations for my BA in English. I was trying *so* hard to outdo my art major sis, who was graduating at the same time & making her own cards, lol. I forget what I spelled wrong, but it was one of the more important words...if they can be classified.

 

Ok, so my point is--irl, nobody but my dh (& now all of you reading this) knows that I think this kind of thing is rude. I accept the information graciously, maybe w/ a laugh. You'd *never* know that I felt like you'd overlooked the very marrow of my being by seeing & commenting on a grammatical error rather than the wonderful *ideas* I'd written.

 

*sigh* My mom has finally started reading some of my writing. She calls & tells me all the errors she's found. At least 9 out of 10 times, she's wrong, & I have to either explain the rule to her or just thank her & let it go. She has finally said that she likes the things I write, but I've been writing for 20 yrs, & she's just now reading it, & most of her comments are typos or a misinterpretation of grammar. It can leave a person feeling hollow.

 

Also, the blog is sent out weekly to all of the funders for her family's missionary work. It's not much like a Christmas card, it's much more like a newsletter from an organization, which she may or may not want "polished."

 

This is a different situation than what you originally described. Honestly, I'd still be hesitant to say anything. I've been a writing teacher/tutor for a long time, & very few people appreciate being edited even when they specifically ask.

 

As far as "saying something gently," people do this kind of thing all. the. time. Everyone always thinks they're doing it gently, & in my experience, no one ever appreciates it, whether they're being given parenting advice or grammar tips. They always feel nit-picked. There may be times where it's warranted anyway--for, say, the safety of a child. Most times, the world is a better place when we let the little things go. Then you get to be the friend who can laugh later when she finds the error & say, "Oh, don't be embarrassed--I didn't even notice!"

 

Besides, these comments tend to cluster for some reason, & you get them all on the same day or week when things are already going wrong. I went to a meeting for a songwriters group that dh & I belong to one weekend. He loves to go--they're all musicians, & they talk music. I write the lyrics to our songs, but that's very invisible, so between the fact that I'm not performing & that I'm sitting off to the side w/ my 4 dc, nobody ever talks to me. I"m really shy, but I try. The women are all 20, & the guys...anyway, I usually leave feeling lonelier than if I'd just stayed home, & dh won't go w/out me.

 

So this particular day, an older woman came up to me & asked, "You're L's wife, right?" Yeah... "You wrote that song?" Yeah! "There was a line..." Yeah? And she quoted it to me, & I think I'm about to make a friend & have a great conversation, & instead, she corrects the grammar of one word in the song & hands me her business card for "professional Christian editing."

 

Besides the poetic license that applied in this case, well. I'm against pointing out grammatical errors. :001_smile:

[Aubrey]

Well, normally I wouldn't bother "correcting" someone over something like that (I, too, see that as pretty minor).

 

But if you think she'd rather know and that the correction wouldn't bother her, you could always email her with some sort of positive comment pertaining to the blog content, and then add a friendly P.S. at the end so it's more of an afterthought... so that it seems the main point of your email was a positive comment, not a correction kind of thing).

 

We're GIRLS. We all play these games. Everyone knows what the friendly PS means. When someone puts their hand on your shoulder as they're walking past & just "mentions" something, it's never a guy. It's always a girl, & girls are always up to something. And what they're up to is ALWAYS figuring out acceptable ways of correcting ea other.

 

If a person HAS to make a correction, I for one would prefer no games. Just a, "Dude. Unless you're like a solo Smith, your apostrophe's totally migrated." Ok, so that's really more confusing than helpful, lol, but my point is why not to play games not how to play them better. ;)

[CLHCO]

So this particular day, an older woman came up to me & asked, "You're L's wife, right?" Yeah... "You wrote that song?" Yeah! "There was a line..." Yeah? And she quoted it to me, & I think I'm about to make a friend & have a great conversation, & instead, she corrects the grammar of one word in the song & hands me her business card for "professional Christian editing."

 

 

:001_huh: :lol:

 

My 16yo smarty-pants daughters do that to my writings and songs all the time - except the business card part, but give them time. I expect them to pull one out any day now. I don't read out loud to them anymore either or I get corrected.

 

Makes me wonder who thought all that grammar homeschool stuff was a good idea. :toetap05:

 

Songs are supposed to have bad grammar. Especially the ones I write. It gives 'm that thar folksy parsonieee.

[Mrs Mungo]

If bad grammar bothers you, then you should never go to the round barn in Arcadia, OK. :tongue_smilie:

[Audrey]

Aubrey, I'm sorry you feel that people are playing games with you and nitpicking your writing. That is certainly not the way to encourage someone or even to provide constructive criticism.

 

FWIW, I don't play games with people when it comes to grammar. When dealing with people at work, I simply note the error and ask that it be corrected. If they ask, I will explain why it is wrong. Otherwise, I don't lecture people. It is true that I demand that everything be as perfect as possible. The writing in question, though, is not creative writing. It is largely reports and data to be submitted to government agencies. Poor grammar is not an option.

[Aubrey]

Aubrey, I'm sorry you feel that people are playing games with you and nitpicking your writing. That is certainly not the way to encourage someone or even to provide constructive criticism.

 

FWIW, I don't play games with people when it comes to grammar. When dealing with people at work, I simply note the error and ask that it be corrected. If they ask, I will explain why it is wrong. Otherwise, I don't lecture people. It is true that I demand that everything be as perfect as possible. The writing in question, though, is not creative writing. It is largely reports and data to be submitted to government agencies. Poor grammar is not an option.

 

In a work environment, I agree, it's totally different. I worked as a copy editor for the school newspaper in college, & it was pure bliss to be able to mark EVERYTHING w/out having to apologize or explain. And, yeah, they had nicknames for me, too, lol. It's not that I don't see that side of the argument or even that I'm hypersensitive--there are settings in which I expect & seek perfection--I just don't think that that standard should apply to every written document all the time. Especially between friends.

 

ETA: As far as "playing games" maybe that applies most esp to Southern women. You know. "Bless your heart." Not that I prefer a more abrasive version. I just prefer the guys' version: if it's worth punching somebody for, say something. Otherwise, let it go. LOL

[Jean in Newcastle]

Having been both a copy editor and a writer at different times, I'm pretty immune to constructive criticism. But in both of those jobs I asked for input from people whether it was formally from another editor or informally from my writer's group. But I don't offer that sort of constructive criticism to anyone who doesn't ask me to. Well - except my kids. And that's my job as their writing teacher.

[scrappyhappymama]

Wow. If it was my blog, I would definitely want to know! If I found the error myself later, and in such an obvious place as the title, I would feel hurt that none of my friends had cared enough to point it out to me.

 

Of course I am a bit persnickety about grammar and spelling myself. I do get annoyed when I see poor grammar in professional publications or signs or newsletters. Casual communication is a different situation entirely, but some writing should be proofread. I have corrected grammar and spelling for friends in the past and would hope they'd do the same for me. But I do limit my comments to something that can be fixed (if it's already been published, then it's only hurtful, not helpful, to point it out).

 

So, a grammatical mistake in a blog post? Probably not unless it is very material, since it's already been published and will soon be replaced. But in the title of the blog? Yes, I'd probably point it out, since it is an on-going error, and frequent readers of her blog will recognize it as such and not as a one-time typing error.

 

I do agree with the previous poster that couching the constructive feedback in appreciation for the positive aspects of her blog is a good idea. I don't see this as playing games at all. I think she'll be less likely to feel nit-picked if she knows that you appreciate her mission and purpose in writing the blog, and are genuinely concerned about the impression the mistake might make on her supporters. Spinach in my teeth, my fly is down, my blog title is misspelled- be a true friend and tell me!

[Jana]

You can tell her, but she may not receive it well, or she may.

 

You have to decide if it's worth it to you. Nobody here will live with the consequences.

[Miss Sherry]

I may have missed something, but if the OP is still feeling uneasy about telling her friend about the error she may want to first ask her friend if she is open to grammatical corrections. She could say something like, " I noticed something on your blog. Are you interested in hearing about a minor grammar error ?" Then it would be in her ball park whether or not to find out about the error from you.

[Miss Sherry]

No one on this board has told me about any of my grammatical errors. Maybe it is because I make so many. :lol: