Don't Be Ugly...Just a Southern Thing?

[KJsMom]

I was born in California and didn't grow up with this expression, but I've lived here in Texas most of my life and I picked it up. I have a friend who moved from Iowa and she just doesn't understand why we say this. So, is it just regional? I'm curious to know where this expression is used. For those of you who are not familiar with *don't be ugly*, I think it is a variation of *pretty is as pretty does*. It isn't about physical appearance, it's about attitude and behavior. You know, don't act ugly.

[stormy weather]

I grew up in Colorado and I use it. Only, I think I actually say "Don't "act" ugly.

[TXMomof4]

I grew up in TX and that is definately something I say all the time. I think it's pretty appropriate too. It doesn't matter how physically pretty you are, if you act ugly, you are ugly. People judge by actions as much or more than looks, IMO

 

Have you noticed when you type the word ugly over and over, it doesn't look right. :lol:

[Miss Marple]

I grew up in Texas and now live in OK. I use that phrase all the time. My dh had a very hard time getting used to it - he associated it with physical appearance. It's all about attitude and behavior. We also have a few others that I typically use: "I'm going to snatch you baldheaded!", gross things are "nasty" (dh associated this more with se*ual behavior).

 

If my mom had ever followed through on the "snatch you baldheaded", I would not have any hair left :lol:

[Parrothead]

There are variations of it used in SC and GA. Off the top of my head I can't remember the exact phrases.

[ChristusG]

I'm down here in Florida and I heard it when I was growing up all the time. My mom said it to us. I never say it....not sure why LOL.

[KJsMom]

I typically use: "I'm going to snatch you baldheaded!", gross things are "nasty" (dh associated this more with se*ual behavior).

 

If my mom had ever followed through on the "snatch you baldheaded", I would not have any hair left :lol:

:lol: I grew up with those. Gross things are nasty and I occasionally threaten my children's hair!

[Jyniffrec]

I think it is regional. A friend of mine who is a southern transplant to the Philadelphia, PA area told some children she was babysitting to not be ugly. They told her they weren't allowed to say that word. She was so embarrassed!:lol: We say it here all the time. It means to not behave badly.

[fairfarmhand]

Use "don't be ugly" all the time. Means don't be hateful or have a sorry attitude. Lived in the SE my whole life.

[mom2denj]

I am in FL and yes, I say it. I am always saying, don't be ugly.

[Just Robyn]

I'm in Iowa and have heard the phrase a couple of times - maybe on TV or the web, maybe IRL, not sure. It's not common here, but I think it's obvious what it means. I would never think you were referring to physical appearance.

[beccad777]

I am from Ohio and while I don't use that phrase all that often I would certainly take it to mean not to act in an ugly or spiteful/mean way. I also say nasty to refer to gross things.

[Ellie]

It's Southern. Definitely Southern. :D

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I often tell my children not to act or talk ugly. I have no idea where I got it from. It just seems natural somehow.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I grew up in Texas and now live in OK. I use that phrase all the time. My dh had a very hard time getting used to it - he associated it with physical appearance. It's all about attitude and behavior. We also have a few others that I typically use: "I'm going to snatch you baldheaded!", gross things are "nasty" (dh associated this more with se*ual behavior).

 

 

 

I just found this interesting because I say nasty too but haven't come across anyone (yet) that has associated it with something besides the intended "disgusting/gross" (at least, not anyone that has told me :tongue_smilie:lol ).

 

 

As for the "don't be ugly" or it's variants, I don't know that I use it a whole lot besides referring to "ugly behaviour" but I understand the idea and wouldn't think twice about it yet I have no idea where I picked that up from. I grew up in Australia and although I did spend a couple years in Texas I don't recall picking up the phrase there.

[MaMa2005]

Use "don't be ugly" all the time. Means don't be hateful or have a sorry attitude. Lived in the SE my whole life.

 

:iagree: Could have written this myself!

[Desert Rat]

We don't use that here. But I like it!

[mcconnellboys]

Right, don't act in an ugly manner. It was in common usage in South Louisiana when I lived there and I still say it.

[TheTwinsMom1]

I grew up for half my life in CA, and the other half in TN. I tell my kids all the time to "quit being ugly" to each other.

Edited July 13, 2010 by TheTwinsMom1
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[kewb]

I grew up in NY and do use that phrase on occasion. It is not a staple but it is in there.

[Perry]

My mother, born and raised in Iowa, used to say it to me. I don't use it and don't hear it often.

[FeFe]

I'm from Georgia (now living in Indiana) and it's a saying I've always heard and say myself.

 

 

I was born in California and didn't grow up with this expression, but I've lived here in Texas most of my life and I picked it up. I have a friend who moved from Iowa and she just doesn't understand why we say this. So, is it just regional? I'm curious to know where this expression is used. For those of you who are not familiar with *don't be ugly*, I think it is a variation of *pretty is as pretty does*. It isn't about physical appearance, it's about attitude and behavior. You know, don't act ugly.

[ereks mom]

There are variations of it used in SC and GA. Off the top of my head I can't remember the exact phrases.

 

I'm in GA--lived here all my life except a brief stint in MI when I was a toddler. People here say "don't be ugly" or "don't act ugly" all.the.time.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

I say it and I'm from Indiana...but we are Appalachian on my Daddy's side.

 

My other main one is, "Act like you're some body."

 

I don't go whole hog with these things. For example, the children are allowed to get above their raisin' (and encouraged to do so, if at all possible).

[~Jo]

Live in Mississippi...we use it all the time!

[zookeeperof3]

We say that a lot in NC. My inlaws, who are from CT & Long Island don't understand what " don't be ugly" means.

Kim

[Greta Lea]

I often say, "Quit being ugly." It's usually followed by, "Be sweet."

 

I have a friend (don't know where she's from) who laughed her head off at the park one day when I told my dusty child to "knock yourself off".

 

My Aspie used to get very stumped by a lot of the things I say. He's gotten used to me, I think!

[Greta Lea]

I confused her when I kept saying my then preschooler was "ill today". She thought he was *sick* for over week until she finally made mention of his "sickness". I explained that "ill" also means "fussy" down south (at least in TN and MS:)

[Renee in NC]

Use "don't be ugly" all the time. Means don't be hateful or have a sorry attitude. Lived in the SE my whole life.

 

Say it here - lived most of my life in the southeast (FL and NC.)

[Sugar Fly]

We use it all the time in spanish : "¡No seas feo!" Sometimes we add a diminutive to feo so it sounds less harsh "¡No seas feito!" :lol:

[Sophia]

I'm in GA--lived here all my life except a brief stint in MI when I was a toddler. People here say "don't be ugly" or "don't act ugly" all.the.time.

 

yep. I've been in Ga. for ten years and I'm just now getting used to the saying.

It drove me nuts at first! I like specific commands...don't be rude, don't whine, don't push your brother, etc.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out how the kids were supposed to know what being ugly meant, lol!

 

Turns out they're smarter than I am :rolleyes:

[fhjmom]

I think of nasty being gross and I have been threatened and have threatened my children of being snatched baldheaded.:lol:

 

"Don't be ugly!" is stuff of legends in our family! LOL!! My mom said this to us ALL.THE.TIME! I say it to my kids, too. But the story from when I was little (early 70's before carseats, mind you) is still told at family gatherings. I had never had a cherry-limeade from Sonic but my older brother loved them. Once, my mother finally talked me into tasting my brother's cherry-limeade and when I did I decided it was *really good*! Oldr brother (probably about 11-12 at the time) was sitting in the front seat of our station wagon, I was in the back seat. When he tried to get the drink back, I hopped over the back seat and went to the very back of the station wagon where he couldn't reach me. He was screaming at mom, who was busy driving, to make me give him hi drink back. I was screaming at him "Don't be ugly! Don't be ugly!" and slurping his cherry-lime as fast as I could! :lol::lol:

 

So now the phrase has a certain tone, pitch, and pace that mimics my 5-6 YO self that enhances the meaning even more!

[Delighted3]

I first heard from in a friend from Alabama, but I love it and say it to my kids all the time.

Joy

[Parrothead]

I say it and I'm from Indiana...but we are Appalachian on my Daddy's side.

 

My other main one is, "Act like you're some body."

 

I don't go whole hog with these things. For example, the children are allowed to get above their raisin' (and encouraged to do so, if at all possible).

Dh often says, "Act like you've had home training."

[Parrothead]

I often say, "Quit being ugly." It's usually followed by, "Be sweet."

 

 

That sounds more familiar than "Don't be ugly."

[Farrar]

I grew up with "the ugly chair." It was time out for "ugly" behavior. But when I called it that in front of another mom when my kids were younger... well, let's just say she was appalled, as if I had called my kids a really mean name. So I think it's definitely regional (I grew up in GA, but now I live in DC). It *is* ugly when you're violent or rude though. I actually think it's a good way to put it.

[Parrothead]

I just found this interesting because I say nasty too but haven't come across anyone (yet) that has associated it with something besides the intended "disgusting/gross" (at least, not anyone that has told me :tongue_smilie:lol ).

 

 

As for the "don't be ugly" or it's variants, I don't know that I use it a whole lot besides referring to "ugly behaviour" but I understand the idea and wouldn't think twice about it yet I have no idea where I picked that up from. I grew up in Australia and although I did spend a couple years in Texas I don't recall picking up the phrase there.

When I was little in NJ, NY nasty meant something sexual. Think nasty movies used for dirty movies or nasty jokes for dirty jokes.

 

When we moved to SC I had a hard time because nasty there meant gross.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

When I was little in NJ, NY nasty meant something sexual. Think nasty movies used for dirty movies or nasty jokes for dirty jokes.

 

When we moved to SC I had a hard time because nasty there meant gross.

 

 

You know, I've probably heard it used in that sense before but in my own mind interpreted it as referring to gross sexual content rather than purely (poor choice of word :tongue_smilie:) sexual content. ... Did that make sense at all? :lol:

[abbeyej]

Funny, that's one I've never thought about it. I do say it with my kids, and it always refers to "ugly" behavior (towards others) or an "ugly" attitude. I also might say, "That's an ugly thing to say."

[gerontologee]

I worked in a daycare right after my son was born. I was in the early 2's class. I was specifically told that I was not to say that the kids were bad to either the child or the parent. Ever since then, it's almost like the word "bad" is a four letter word to me when it comes to getting on to a child.

 

I've never told any of my children that they are "bad". I've always said, "Don't be ugly."

 

Then at a daycare my twins attended a few years ago I was volunteering in their room. Honestly, there were some really "bad" kids in there. However I said, "Don't be ugly to your friends." The teacher told me that the daycare directors didn't like that and that they had been told not to say that. I asked why the directors felt like that and she said that they thought it made the child feel physically ugly.

 

I thought it was ridiculous, but then again someone probably thought it was ridiculous that we shouldn't say the word "bad".

 

I still say it to my kids though. They know the difference. Plus I tell my girls all the time that they are:

 

1. Smart

2. A nice person

3. Pretty, attractive, and the like

 

I don't want my girls growing up thinking that they are just pretty and can get by with that. Pretty isn't forever.

 

But I digress.

 

My husband is from Virginia and he HATES it when I say, "Do you want me to make you a palette?" (pronounced pal-let) I'm not sure how to spell it. He says, "You're going to put the kids on a wooden framed structure to sleep? Isn't that for transporting groceries?"

[journeytolily]

Don't be ugly now.....

 

I grew up in Florida, in a family of Southerners, and that was a common phrase. I've also lived in SC, and people use it there, too. I think I say it sometimes.

 

Seems to me that it's pretty obvious what it means if heard in context (kids being rude or mean) - but maybe if you're not used to hearing it, it can seem harsh.

[southcarolinamom]

Yep, we say it all the time here in South Carolina!

[KJsMom]

We use it all the time in spanish : "¡No seas feo!" Sometimes we add a diminutive to feo so it sounds less harsh "¡No seas feito!" :lol:

I love this!:lol:

[katilac]

Oh, yes, "Don't be ugly" is a staple around here, along with its devout and slightly sterner variation, "Baby Jesus don't like ugly." (why the emphasis on baby Jesus? I have no idea)

 

Another yes to "Act like you've had some home training" - - any reference to home training means you are this close to living in "a world full of sorry."

 

"Pallet" in reference to a makeshift bed is absolutely correct; tell the man to look up homonyms in the dictionary :D.

[fairfarmhand]

 

My other main one is, "Act like you're some body."

 

 

 

I confused her when I kept saying my then preschooler was "ill today". She thought he was *sick* for over week until she finally made mention of his "sickness". I explained that "ill" also means "fussy" down south (at least in TN and MS:)

 

I Use "Act like Somebody" (definite emphasis on the "body" part of the last word.)

 

 

And if someone is irritable or crabby they are "getting ill." or "being ill." If one of my kids is getting hateful to me I've been known to say, " Don't get ill with me!!!"

[3littlekeets]

Yes, and we can insult anyone as long as we follow it with "bless her heart." :tongue_smilie:

[fairfarmhand]

Yes, and we can insult anyone as long as we follow it with "bless her heart." :tongue_smilie:

 

Absolutely!

 

"She's dumber than a bag of hammers, bless her heart...."

 

(and yes, my dh uses the phrase "dumber than a bag of hammers" every now and then!)

Edited July 13, 2010 by fairfarmhand

[grace'smom]

I'm in Virginia and say "don't be ugly" but it's because my grandmother from Arkansas used to say it. I also have heard people say someone was being "ill" but I don't say it myself.

 

A little spin off to the "nasty" connotation- we used to tell my daughter that we don't watch tv shows where people are naughty (some kid shows have rude kids, etc), and one day I heard her tell people that her daddy "likes to watch naughty shows" because she sometimes catches him watching action movies (fight scenes, etc.) when he thinks she's not around. SOOO embarrassing!

[secular_mom]

raised in Alabama- that expression is used there

[Old Dominion Heather]

Raised in Virginia and we say this all the time.