Am I overreacting??(MRSA question)

[Pongo]

My MIL has MRSA, my dd has a birthday this Saturday and I don't think my MIL should come. I'm a nurse and maybe a bit more protective about this stuff because I have seen it, at it's worst. Her arms have sores on them and she is not even following the basic protocol for person with MRSA by keeping them covered.

If it were my own mother,I would ask her not to come, and she would gladly stay home if she ever thought she could hurt the kids. But my MIL is a passive aggressive, manipulative person and she will make my husband feel like a heel.

 

I went as far as saying she can come, don't hug the kids and leave in an hour , then I can have everyone else come later. My husband thinks she'll flip out. Am I overreacting???

Edited June 18, 2010 by Pongo

[Daisy]

Well, if she isn't going to cover up her sores and take the correct measures I'd ask her not to come.

[Pongo]

Daisy, that's what I think. But if we ask her to, she will be mad as a hornet and have a HORRIBLE attitude at the party. It's like dealing with an unreasonable toddler. I feel so bad for my dh:glare:

[Carol in Cal.]

Protect your kid.

She will respect you in the end. If she doesn't, it's not the end. Think of it that way.

[kalanamak]

Well, if she isn't going to cover up her sores and take the correct measures I'd ask her not to come.

 

:iagree: And I'm around it every day.

[KristenS]

At least have the kids wear long-sleeve shirts and long pants ... and then change and scrub right after the party? (This is what I have to do for hiking in case of poison ivy ... would it work for you?)

[Pongo]

Protect your kid.

She will respect you in the end. If she doesn't, it's not the end. Think of it that way.

 

Crazy, I know. We don't have a great relationship, she'll just dislike me more.:001_huh: It's supposed to be 90º tomorrow, she would just love me to tell her to wear a long sleeved shirt to a cookout....lol

[Pongo]

At least have the kids wear long-sleeve shirts and long pants ... and then change and scrub right after the party? (This is what I have to do for hiking in case of poison ivy ... would it work for you?)

 

Normally I would agree. It will be 90º here tomorrow. We have an in-ground pool, so it's a pool party/BBQ. They would be boiling, plus do I owe it to the other people coming, babies included to tell her not to come?

[Nakia]

Um...heck no you aren't overreacting. Active MRSA in open sores on her arms??? She wouldn't be welcome at my home. I can't even believe she would think about coming.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would invite her to a separate occasion for your dd's birthday party - a special family only meal. I don't know how old your kid(s) are but I would tell them to not hug Grandma because she is hurt. And I would have them wash their hands very well after she left.

[JudoMom]

Normally I would agree. It will be 90º here tomorrow. We have an in-ground pool, so it's a pool party/BBQ. They would be boiling, plus do I owe it to the other people coming, babies included to tell her not to come?

 

Yes. She shouldn't be coming. What a stinky situation--I'm sorry!

[Pongo]

I would invite her to a separate occasion for your dd's birthday party - a special family only meal. I don't know how old your kid(s) are but I would tell them to not hug Grandma because she is hurt. And I would have them wash their hands very well after she left.

 

I think this might be the best way to do it. I know she will still be angry she couldn't come when everyone else is here, but this will have to do. She is the first to come and the last to leave type.

[TravelingChris]

Please don't let her come especially if you are having other guests coming. Are you sure that none of your guests take any medications that put them at risk? Some of those could be prescribed to people with asthma, allergies, organ transplants, arthritis, and many other conditions. There is no way I would allow a person with such a dangerous condition that is contagious and is not controlled to be near my children or my guests.

[Pajama Mama]

Why does your MIL think that her happiness comes before the health of others? MRSA can be passed from skin-to-skin contact, right? It's going to be hot so there's no way she'll wear long sleeves. There are going to be little children and babies there. To me, this is really a no-brainer. If I was there with a baby, I would treat her like Typhoid Mary. Seriously.

 

Maybe you can assure her that she can have a special day after her sores have healed.

[athena1277]

If I were a parent bringing my kid to you dc's party, I would be really upset to find out someone came, knowing they could so easily pass on something like that to my kids. I would not let her come, especially since she is not even trying to prevent it from spreading to others. She can get mad all she wants. It's not worth putting yours or anyone else's kids at risk.

[Capt_Uhura]

If you allow her to come, you need to inform all your guests before hand. I would be very unhappy if I went to a party and later found out a guest had a contagious illness and I wasn't informed.

[Pongo]

Please don't let her come especially if you are having other guests coming. Are you sure that none of your guests take any medications that put them at risk? Some of those could be prescribed to people with asthma, allergies, organ transplants, arthritis, and many other conditions. There is no way I would allow a person with such a dangerous condition that is contagious and is not controlled to be near my children or my guests.

 

My own dd takes Asthma meds, my mom is on allergy and arthritic meds. She seems to think we are acting crazy, and told my husband that her health care provider said, it was not a big deal. Although after saying that, made an appointment for her to go see an Infectious Disease Dr. The other option is to say nothing, and deal with the aftermath.......bahwaahhh(insert evil laugh here) ...just kidding.

[Perry]

I'd send her this information from CDC:

 

If I have a staph, or MRSA skin infection, what can I do to prevent others from getting infected? You can prevent spreading staph or MRSA skin infections to others by following these steps:

 

 

1. Cover your wound. Keep wounds that are draining or have pus covered with clean, dry bandages until healed. Follow your healthcare provider's instructions on proper care of the wound. Pus from infected wounds can contain staph, including MRSA, so keeping the infection covered will help prevent the spread to others. Bandages and tape can be discarded with the regular trash.
   
2. Clean your hands. You, your family, and others in close contact should wash their hands frequently with soap and water or use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer, especially after changing the bandage or touching the infected wound.
   
3. Do not share personal items. Avoid sharing personal items, such as towels, washcloths, razors, clothing, or uniforms, that may have had contact with the infected wound or bandage. Wash sheets, towels, and clothes that become soiled with water and laundry detergent. Use a dryer to dry clothes completely.
   
4. Talk to your doctor. Tell any healthcare providers who treat you that you have or had a staph or MRSA skin infection.
   

 

How can I prevent staph or MRSA skin infections? Practice good hygiene:

 

 

1. Keep your hands clean by washing thoroughly with soap and water or using an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
   
2. Keep cuts and scrapes clean and covered with a bandage until healed.
   
3. Avoid contact with other people’s wounds or bandages.
   
4. Avoid sharing personal items such as towels or razors.
   

 

 

Most MRSA is spread through direct skin-to-skin contact, so if she isn't touching anyone, or if the sores are dry and not draining the risk is low. But if it were me, I'd tell her to cover up any draining sores or not to come.

[Pongo]

If I were a parent bringing my kid to you dc's party, I would be really upset to find out someone came, knowing they could so easily pass on something like that to my kids. I would not let her come, especially since she is not even trying to prevent it from spreading to others. She can get mad all she wants. It's not worth putting yours or anyone else's kids at risk.

 

I would be sooooo MAD. Okay that's it. I'm making the call.......I'll be back.

Edited June 18, 2010 by Pongo

[Pongo]

ITA!

[JFSinIL]

Well, if she isn't going to cover up her sores and take the correct measures I'd ask her not to come.

 

I agree. If she complains, ask her how horrible she'd feel if one of her grandkids became infected!

[Pongo]

I'd send her this information from CDC:

 

Most MRSA is spread through direct skin-to-skin contact, so if she isn't touching anyone, or if the sores are dry and not draining the risk is low. But if it were me, I'd tell her to cover up any draining sores or not to come.

 

My husband dropped off a CDC booklet on MRSA..her response, " That doesn't apply to me, my case is mild".:001_huh:

[2cents]

She should not be going! If she had strep or some other highly contagious disease there would be no question. What she has is IMO no different. She needs to stay away until she is safe to be around. If she goes, you will not have complete control of the situation and the worry you'll have on behalf of your children and the other attendees will ruin the occasion. Obviously she is not responsible enough to make the decision herself so you'll need to. She will be angry but that is not something you can help.

[JVA]

Your dh needs to step up and tell his mother that for the health of his family she needs to stay home for this party. He will only 'feel' like a heel if he lets her make him feel that way. Time to man up. Sorry you're having to face this.

[NanceXToo]

Heck no she would not be allowed to come to my house. Period. I don't care HOW mad she gets!

[elizabeth]

No brainer. She has a communicable disease and cannot be there. I am shocked and appalled that she would even consider it and that she is not following protocol for protecting others.

[elizabeth]

just a little incentive for your dh . Guess who is legally responsible if a person contacts that disease while at your home?? Not just your MIL. You are acting in loco parentis and are responsible for the safety of guests in your home especially when they are minors and invitees.

[Jyniffrec]

Oh, this is terrible. I am speaking as someone who never worried about this stuff until my kids became seriously ill with life threatening (inherited) diseases. If I knew she were there with MRSA I would be horrified - and would leave right away. And that would be so unfair to your daughter.

[BikeBookBread]

PDG contracted it on her little rear end 4 years ago. We had visited a friend's home, and they did NOT tell us that 3 of them had active MRSA lesions, and they were being treated. PDG must have used the potty and the potty hadn't been disinfected (I don't believe that the family used antibacterials -- even with MRSA floating around...) The lesion was caught very quickly, and the doctor put her on an effective antibiotic. She has never had a reoccurrence, and the doctor did not believe she ever would.

 

It is not to be taken lightly, but I don't believe people should overreact, either. All that said, MIL should not be there -- it's not just your own family that is at risk, but OTHER families who could try to hold you accountable.

Edited June 18, 2010 by BikeBookBread

[DianeW88]

Nurse here, too, and HOLY COW, an active MRSA infection? No way would she be coming to my house! Why would your MIL willingly expose her own granddaughter to something so serious? :001_huh: Not to mention the other party guests. Does she not understand the nature of this infection? Does she know people have become seriously ill and even died from it?

 

And, just as an FYI, if I were a party guest and found out about your MIL....I'd be very upset if I had my kids there.

 

I would just be very (VERY) firm in letting her know that she CANNOT attend the party and that your dd's health and well-being comes waaaaaay before her hurt feelings. In the nicest way, of course, but still...

 

I don't suppose there's any way you could reschedule it at this late date?

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[cjbeach]

Ugh..blech.. and in the heat and sweating around lots of people.Yucko. "Hi welcome to the party, would you like some prophylactic Clindamycin? "

 

I'm a chicken people pleaser so I'd probably lie and say "X person" is a germaphobe and in order to not skitz that person out would you mind covering up the areas. Also, just with the amount of people that will be there, it would be in her best interest to protect the areas from anything/anyone contaminating her.

[jonesloonybin]

NO WAY would she be allowed to come in my house! Even if there was no party.

 

You mentioned that babies were going to be there....how would you feel if one of those babies got it and you had to look their parents in the face and tell them that you KNOWINGLY allowed it to happen. That you allowed a contagious person into you home and exposed their baby!

 

I am not sure, but you could end up being sued by the parents.

[Retired]

There is no way in h"ll she would be let in my house.

 

Sorry that was so strong a statement but this nurse worked a MRSA unit in the early 90's. I know things have changed but the bacteria still can do the same damage. I am talking wounds that would not respond to any antibiotic and people starting with a toe wound infected and amputated then ankle down amputated, then knee down amputated then hip down amputated

 

I saw my patients rotting to death like some 3rd world country when in fact we where in a very good teaching medical center.

 

My patients remained in the hospital at a minimum 6 months to year and some never went home due to sepsis

 

I worked that unit for 2 years before Vancomycin was found to slow down the disease and if caught early enough stop the infection. I really think your MIL needs to stay in her home until all wounds are healed or she takes the proper care prescribed.

 

We know so much more than we did 20 years ago but it is still can be a killer.

Edited June 19, 2010 by Cafelattee

[Britomart]

I wouldn't let her come, especially if she'd not taking proper care of her wounds. I could see it being different if she was following the protocol, and it was a small, family-only gathering, where everyone knew how to take the necessary precautions.

 

But . . . when my twins were in the NICU, one of a set of triplets who were also there had MRSA (those babies had been born at a different hospital and transferred to our hospital's NICU for a higher-level of care; the doctors thought they must have contracted MRSA at the first hospital), and I remember the strict, strict precautions they took. I wasn't even allowed to touch my babies without gloves until they'd tested negative for it - and that was when none of the doctors thought my kids had it! They were just being that careful.

 

And I agree with other posters that you'd need to tell your other guests, and that those guests then probably wouldn't attend. I'm so sorry your MIL is putting you in such a hard situation - what a lot to deal with on what should be a happy occasion!

Edited June 19, 2010 by Britomart
unitalicizing. :) and spelling.

[Perry]

Okay, I really feel like I have to jump in here.

 

There is no question that MRSA can be a terrible disease. HOWEVER, there is a big difference between MRSA that people get in the hospital (HA-MRSA, for hospital acquired MRSA) and MRSA people get in the community (CA-MRSA, or community acquired MRSA). HA-MRSA is far worse, much harder to treat, and much more dangerous. The great majority of CA-MRSA infections are mild skin infections and and are fairly easy to treat.

 

Occasionally, CA-MRSA becomes invasive and can cause life threatening infections. That is rare, but it certainly can happen.

 

 

Transmission is usually from either direct skin-to-skin contact with a person who has draining sores, or from someone who is an asymptomatic carrier and is carrying MRSA in their nasal passages and doesn't know it. It is possible to become infected from environmental surfaces, or from sharing towels, razors, etc. but it isn't the most common route of infection.

Something like 20-30% of the population is carrying MRSA around in their nose and don't know it.

 

 

I am not trying to minimize the dangers of MRSA. But I really want people to understand that the risk of acquiring MRSA from someone with their sores covered is very low, as long as you don't have physical contact with them. It isn't necessary for people with MRSA to isolate themselves, because as long as they are following infection control procedures, they are no more of a risk as the 20-30% of people walking around who have MRSA in their nose and don't know it. In fact, you are more likely to get it from an asymptomatic carrier than someone with covered sores.

 

 

 

As I said before, I would tell mil to cover up or stay home. It's a very minor inconvenience for her, and if she isn't going to cooperate she needs to stay home. But if she covers up and doesn't hug anyone, she's really not a threat. Remember that 20-30% of your other guests probably are carrying it in their nose.

[Pongo]

Okay, it's done. She is not coming, steaming but, not coming. Thanks for reaffirming what I already felt. Now I can stop stressing and make potato salad. You gals are great!

Thanks!!

[StephanieZ]

I would insist that MIL stay away until the sores are healed and gone for at least a few days. No negotiations. If your dh insists on her coming, you must cancel the party as it would be utterly irresponsible to have that kind of party with kids, etc there. No way. If you don't, and someone's kid gets MRSA and ends up in hospital, with major scarring, or even *dies*. . . well, 'nuff said.

 

10 mos ago my ds had a probable (but not cultured) MRSA sore on his arm. (There'd been MRSA floating around our workplace and we recognized it. . .) It was a Friday when we guessed what it was an my BFF who happens to be a pediatrician (but lives 4 hrs away) advised us to wash/medicate/wait over the weekend as it wasn't getting *worse*. . . We followed the protocols and it got much better on it's own by Monday, so we never had to actually go to the DR. (But, we had access to the "good stuff" topical antibiotics b/c we happened to already have them on hand. . . And we were really, really diligent about washing and bandaging.)

 

Nonetheless, 2 weeks later my dd broke with what we were sure was MRSA on her skin somewhere -- I don't recall where. We treated it the same way and it resolved.

 

We were scheduled to visit my BFF and her toddler 7 days into my dd's MRSA episode (it was almost cleared). BFF didn't want us there no matter. . . and I agreed completely. Trip cancelled. BFF sees MRSA all the time in her job as medical director of the pediatricians at a major hospital. . . She knows the ins/outs and hows/etc. . . It is just *not worth the risk* for a social visit.

 

I've had friends who passed MRSA around their families and watched it happen here with my dc, even though we knew what it was and were as careful as we could be.

 

It is scary stuff.

[kalanamak]

Okay, I really feel like I have to jump in here.

 

There is no question that MRSA can be a terrible disease. HOWEVER, there is a big difference between MRSA that people get in the hospital (HA-MRSA, for hospital acquired MRSA) and MRSA people get in the community (CA-MRSA, or community acquired MRSA). HA-MRSA is far worse, much harder to treat, and much more dangerous. The great majority of CA-MRSA infections are mild skin infections and and are fairly easy to treat.

 

Occasionally, CA-MRSA becomes invasive and can cause life threatening infections. That is rare, but it certainly can happen.

 

 

We don't know the strain she has.

Carriers who get skin lesions, often furuncles, also have an increased rate of staph aureus pneumonia after flu-like illnesses than the general population. This can be fatal. I believe children have a higher fatality rate.

 

Even at our hysterical-over-patient-rights hospital, where patients sometimes walk around waving sanitary pads, eat their own feces, and dig their fingers in feces the better to "get" a foe when scratching at eyes, patients who refuse to cover and threat their open lesions are confined to their rooms.

 

Any word of this out among your guests will cause outrage and emotional reactions.

 

I'd keep this lady home. Send her a video and piece of cake.

[kalanamak]

Okay, it's done. She is not coming, steaming but, not coming. Thanks for reaffirming what I already felt. Now I can stop stressing and make potato salad. You gals are great!

Thanks!!

 

:cheers2:

 

Now be sure and wash your hands well before handling those potatoes. :D

[Perry]

We don't know the strain she has.

No, but if her HCP told her it wasn't a big deal it's a good bet that it's CA, not HA.

 

 

Even at our hysterical-over-patient-rights hospital, where patients sometimes walk around waving sanitary pads, eat their own feces, and dig their fingers in feces the better to "get" a foe when scratching at eyes, patients who refuse to cover and threat their open lesions are confined to their rooms.

Yes, but if they're covered they aren't isolated, right?

 

I would have no problem telling mil to stay home if she won't cover up. But if she's covered and not being touched, she's not a threat. Kids are different, as they don't keep their body parts and secretions to themselves. I wouldn't want an infected kid around others, even if they were appropriately covered .

 

But a responsible covered-up adult? No problem. (Though this particular lady doesn't seem to qualify as responsible.)

[Nakia]

No, but if her HCP told her it wasn't a big deal it's a good bet that it's CA, not HA.

 

 

 

 

 

I wouldn't bet the farm on that. I can't tell you how many times I have cared for patients, in the hospital, on contact isolation for MRSA, and seen the docs walk in the room with not even a pair of gloves on.

[Perry]

I wouldn't bet the farm on that. I can't tell you how many times I have cared for patients, in the hospital, on contact isolation for MRSA, and seen the docs walk in the room with not even a pair of gloves on.

Of course I don't know anything about this person so can't know for sure. But HA-MRSA is usually associated with sick, hospitalized, patients and invasive procedures (catheters, IVs, surgeries, etc.) The vast majority of people that are out in the community with a mild MRSA skin infection don't have HA-MRSA, they have CA.

 

It's certainly possible that she was recently in the hospital and had an IV and ended up with HA-MRSA on her arms. But generally they would be treating that much more aggressively and wouldn't have told her it was "mild" and "no big deal".

 

I am in full agreement that many health care providers are terrible at following infection control procedures. It is a huge problem.

[Nakia]

Of course I don't know anything about this person so can't know for sure. But HA-MRSA is usually associated with sick, hospitalized, patients and invasive procedures (catheters, IVs, surgeries, etc.) The vast majority of people that are out in the community with a mild MRSA skin infection don't have HA-MRSA, they have CA.

 

It's certainly possible that she was recently in the hospital and had an IV and ended up with HA-MRSA on her arms. But generally they would be treating that much more aggressively and wouldn't have told her it was "mild" and "no big deal".

 

I am in full agreement that many health care providers are terrible at following infection control procedures. It is a huge problem.

 

I absolutely agree. Your last paragraph is exactly the point I was trying to make.

[kalanamak]

(Though this particular lady doesn't seem to qualify as responsible.)

 

:iagree:Refuses to cover, downplays to be able to do what she wants. Who knows what her doc told her....

[kalanamak]

I absolutely agree. Your last paragraph is exactly the point I was trying to make.

 

:iagree:I work with such grubby people, I am raw-knuckled from washing. I mean, when patients stand in the hall scratching their herpes lesions (hands in pants) and then want to hug you....

 

There is a funny email that goes around work..."You know you work at X because" and my favorite answer is "you wash your hands before and after going to the bathroom".

[angela in ohio]

Okay, it's done. She is not coming, steaming but, not coming. Thanks for reaffirming what I already felt. Now I can stop stressing and make potato salad. You gals are great!

Thanks!!

 

Good for you. I am all about being polite AND all about honoring my parents, but there is NO way I would let her come.

[Pongo]

:cheers2:

 

Now be sure and wash your hands well before handling those potatoes. :D

 

:lol:

[RanchGirl]

Okay, it's done. She is not coming, steaming but, not coming. Thanks for reaffirming what I already felt. Now I can stop stressing and make potato salad. You gals are great!

Thanks!!

 

Glad you made the call! I wouldn't have her over until she is no longer contagious, especially since she won't even cover up... sheesh! Either she'll come to her senses and realize you were doing the responsible thing, or she's not a reasonable person and you can never make people like that happy anyway.

 

Reminds me of my dh's aunt and uncle. All the family had traveled to go to dh's grandma's funeral. The night before the funeral, we booked a private room at a restaurant for all the relatives. Aunt and uncle and one of their kids had come down with Norovirus (which is what had just killed the grandma). They still felt sick but thought they would come down to the restaurant anyway "to have some soup and be social". No one in the family, including my RN mil, was willing to be the one to tell them no! I guess they all would have gone and had dinner with them rather than tell grown-ups they can't infect the whole family and all the other restaurant patrons with norovirus?!? Dh and I had no problem letting them know they would have to sit this one out. For heaven's sake -- and it was a buffet dinner too!!

[Retired]

Okay, I really feel like I have to jump in here.

 

There is no question that MRSA can be a terrible disease. HOWEVER, there is a big difference between MRSA that people get in the hospital (HA-MRSA, for hospital acquired MRSA) and MRSA people get in the community (CA-MRSA, or community acquired MRSA). HA-MRSA is far worse, much harder to treat, and much more dangerous. The great majority of CA-MRSA infections are mild skin infections and and are fairly easy to treat.

 

Occasionally, CA-MRSA becomes invasive and can cause life threatening infections. That is rare, but it certainly can happen.

 

 

Transmission is usually from either direct skin-to-skin contact with a person who has draining sores, or from someone who is an asymptomatic carrier and is carrying MRSA in their nasal passages and doesn't know it. It is possible to become infected from environmental surfaces, or from sharing towels, razors, etc. but it isn't the most common route of infection.

Something like 20-30% of the population is carrying MRSA around in their nose and don't know it.

 

 

I am not trying to minimize the dangers of MRSA. But I really want people to understand that the risk of acquiring MRSA from someone with their sores covered is very low, as long as you don't have physical contact with them. It isn't necessary for people with MRSA to isolate themselves, because as long as they are following infection control procedures, they are no more of a risk as the 20-30% of people walking around who have MRSA in their nose and don't know it. In fact, you are more likely to get it from an asymptomatic carrier than someone with covered sores.

 

 

 

As I said before, I would tell mil to cover up or stay home. It's a very minor inconvenience for her, and if she isn't going to cooperate she needs to stay home. But if she covers up and doesn't hug anyone, she's really not a threat. Remember that 20-30% of your other guests probably are carrying it in their nose.

 

Great information! I was so adamant about her staying away because she seems to be non compliant regarding her wound care. She should cover them or stay home. I really didn't have the time earlier to explain the different types of MRSA but still a community acquired strain is still dangerous. We had a teen girl loose a good bit of tissue do to an aggressive strain she acquired prior to hospitalization.

 

The MIL sounds like she is not taking proper care or precautions regarding her wounds.