Boys and earrings

[Sebastian (a lady)]

My dh is the same way. He knew a guy that got his pierced because he had sailed around the Cape solo. Dh tells the boys that they would be allowed to get their ear pierced if they do the same thing. I guess if they did that, they'd be old enough to get an earring without our permission anyway if they wanted to. :D

 

Funny, I'm also in the more traditional camp, but I like the above exception.

 

A few years ago, the Navy caved and allowed earrings in civilian clothes. I thought at the time that they should have instead gone back to the sail era traditon of allowing them in uniform if you had survived a ship sinking.

 

Now I would make a further exception that an earring could denote time in a combat zone.

 

I do find it funny that people seem oblivious to the statement they are making under certain circumstances. I interviewed a student for the Naval Academy who came wearing two very large rhinestone earrings. He was completely unaware of the nature of what he was applying to. (The earrings were just the tip of the iceberg, btw.)

[PineFarmMom]

Wow. Does this seem like a personal attack or what?

 

Undoubtedly!!!

[PineFarmMom]

My dh, retired navy, told me the tradition is that men have their ear pierced if they survive a shipwreck, if my memory serves me (which it doesn't always these days!)

 

Obviously, ds will not be getting his ear(s) pierced while he lives at home. Our dds won't, either, though.

 

Dd does have her ears pierced. I have four boys, and none of them will be allowed to.

[Haiku]

Why would anyone want to blur that line?

 

 

My head is shaved. Why am I blurring that line? Because I like the simplicity of not dealing with hair, and I also think that I look good this way.

 

Why would anyone want to blur gender lines? Because each person is an individual and should be able to express their appearance in the way that pleases them.

 

Of course we have set standards and yes many of them are abritrary, but that is not the point. If we hold to those standards and do believe in them then we should not feel bad about them.

 

As few as eight years before I was born, my kids would not have been able to marry a person of a different race if they wanted to. It was an arbitrary standard, people held that standard and believed in it, and they should definitely have felt bad about it.

 

Tara

[Wheres Toto]

My head is shaved. Why am I blurring that line? Because I like the simplicity of not dealing with hair, and I also think that I look good this way.

 

Why would anyone want to blur gender lines? Because each person is an individual and should be able to express their appearance in the way that pleases them.

 

 

 

As few as eight years before I was born, my kids would not have been able to marry a person of a different race if they wanted to. It was an arbitrary standard, people held that standard and believed in it, and they should definitely have felt bad about it.

 

Tara

:iagree:Thank you. I was trying to think of how to express this but I'm not very good with words. I want my children to be comfortable with expressing their individuality in whatever way that means something to them (short of something illegal of course). Some things I may have them wait until they are legal adults and some things I may suggest a waiting time to think it through but I'd rather they think for themselves than always accept the standards set by others.

[fivetails]

I have more "traditional" views on this and would be horrified were my son to request this. Others may raise their children as they see fit but when I grew up boys did not wear ear rings and under my roof they will not.

 

This is not an issue that would be up for debate.

 

As a parent, you set the rules in your house and can certainly say no to anything - but you'd be "horrified" if he asked?

[Crimson Wife]

My head is shaved. Why am I blurring that line? Because I like the simplicity of not dealing with hair, and I also think that I look good this way.

 

Why would anyone want to blur gender lines? Because each person is an individual and should be able to express their appearance in the way that pleases them.

 

Tara

 

The difference is you're an adult. When my DS is an adult and self-supporting, he will have the prerogative to become a full-on drag queen if he so chooses. I would not like it, but at that point it's his life. While he's underage and supported by us, however, he will have to abide by our standards for appearance.

[mysticamethyst]

Yes, I would let my son pierce his ears if they asked but I would not allow the ear stretchers or guages whatever they are called. My boys have even blonded their tips when they were on a baseball team, I have a dd that wants blue streaks in her hair. I figure it like this, if earrings and odd hair color are the worst things I have to deal with then I am a lucky person. With drugs, gangs, running away, earrings and hair are small stuff and my grams always told me not to sweat the small stuff. :001_smile: Very interesting to read all the replies.

[Tidbits of Learning]

My ds 8 just asked me if he could get his ears pierced. The answer was an immediate, "No." If he were a she, at this age, the answer would be the same from me. However, the thought that went through my head was, "You can get your ears pierced when you're 18." For a girl, I would have thought 12. That is exactly the kind of gender bias I got from my mom growing up and hated. It is also probably similar to my mom not wanting certain images (clothing, hairstyles etc.) for me because *she* didn't like them, as if any of that were so important. Isn't it what's inside that counts?

 

So, the question is, would you let your ds get his ear(s) pierced at the same age at which you would allow it for your dd? Why or why not?

 

My girls had their ears pieced at 3 or 4 and I don't think I would do it then for my sons b/c it would be my decision not theirs. If my ds7 came to me today and asked, I would say wait a few more years. 12 sounds like a good age. I had to wait until 13 to get mine pierced as a child.

However, dh used to be in the military and is ultra conservative and would veto anything that I say.

[Mom-ninja.]

yes

[Crimson Wife]

I figure it like this, if earrings and odd hair color are the worst things I have to deal with then I am a lucky person. With drugs, gangs, running away, earrings and hair are small stuff and my grams always told me not to sweat the small stuff. :001_smile: Very interesting to read all the replies.

 

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such. Not saying that allowing your son to get a piercing or dye his hair will automatically lead to a drug problem, but it's often IMHO a sign of an overly permissive parenting style. Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

[Denisemomof4]

older dd got hers pierced when she turned 1. Younger dd got hers pierced twice now at ages 4 and 5, got infected both times, holes closed.

 

Younger ds got his pierced last year at almost 14.

[fivetails]

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such. Not saying that allowing your son to get a piercing or dye his hair will automatically lead to a drug problem, but it's often IMHO a sign of an overly permissive parenting style. Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

 

I don't think this is fair at all.

 

Just because someone allows their children to have more choices with regards to their personal sense of style/appearance/etc does NOT mean that they are "overly permissive" or that they don't have any authority in the home.

[HRAAB]

I don't think this is fair at all.

 

Just because someone allows their children to have more choices with regards to their personal sense of style/appearance/etc does NOT mean that they are "overly permissive" or that they don't have any authority in the home.

 

:iagree: Thank you.

[AngelaNYC]

My ds (9) has been asking to get his ear pierced since he was 4. I told him when he turned 10 he could get it. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just a whim or because his older friends had it done. Once he got a little older and understood more of what it all entails, I felt better about allowing it. Nine months left, lol.

[Pretty in Pink]

I don't think this is fair at all.

 

Just because someone allows their children to have more choices with regards to their personal sense of style/appearance/etc does NOT mean that they are "overly permissive" or that they don't have any authority in the home.

 

:iagree:We're not talking about a permanently disfiguring procedure (barring infection I suppose). We wouldn't allow gauges (for either gender) but would allow a regular ear piercing. It's not a hill I'm willing to die on, even if it's not my personal preference.

[jujsky]

My ds 8 just asked me if he could get his ears pierced. The answer was an immediate, "No." If he were a she, at this age, the answer would be the same from me. However, the thought that went through my head was, "You can get your ears pierced when you're 18." For a girl, I would have thought 12. That is exactly the kind of gender bias I got from my mom growing up and hated. It is also probably similar to my mom not wanting certain images (clothing, hairstyles etc.) for me because *she* didn't like them, as if any of that were so important. Isn't it what's inside that counts?

 

So, the question is, would you let your ds get his ear(s) pierced at the same age at which you would allow it for your dd? Why or why not?

 

I wouldn't, and here is why: it is more socially acceptable for a girl to get her ears pierced. MOST girls will get their ears pierced eventually and wear earrings off & on for the rest of their lives. I don't wear them often (usually just when I dress up) but I do wear them. DD (5) wants her ears pierced and I told her that she can have it done after her recital this year. DS is 6. If he asked me, there is no way I would allow it at this age. He is not old enough to decide whether or not to do something permanent to his body when it still isn't entirely appropriate in all circles for men to wear earrings. Depending on the level of understanding DS has at 16 for consequences and actions, I MIGHT consider it then, but that would be the earliest. If the kids (either in this case) want tattoos, those will have to wait until 18 for the same reason -- I want them to fully understand the consequences they may receive for having a permanent painting on their bodies. FWIW, I'm not adamantly opposed to piercings or tattoos, but I want them to really know and understand that they're doing something more-or-less permanent to their bodies and understand the full impact of that before they make that decision.

 

Now if they wanted to do something crazy like dye their hair some funky color (as teens) I would have no problem with it because hair grows out.

[MamaT]

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such. Not saying that allowing your son to get a piercing or dye his hair will automatically lead to a drug problem, but it's often IMHO a sign of an overly permissive parenting style. Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

 

Two of my son's have their ears pierced and we are certainly not overly permissive. We are also perfectly comfortable "embracing" our authority. We haven't had one problem with rebellion, drugs, or anything else with our sons, despite their ears being pierced.

[Tidbits of Learning]

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such. Not saying that allowing your son to get a piercing or dye his hair will automatically lead to a drug problem, but it's often IMHO a sign of an overly permissive parenting style. Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

 

Just food for thought, but everyone has different standards and expectations. Ear piercing is not a sign of permissive parenting. Everyone does not have the same beliefs and same standards. I do not try to only be a friend to my child. However, I want my children to be my friends. I don't want to be seen as only the enforcer of rules. However, I do enforce rules.

If my children have a legitimate reason for doing something or wanting something even if it is not the norm and they logically and responsibly request it, then I should take into account their reasoning instead of just a blunt no b/c I said so.

For what it is worth, my parents were strict and I couldn't get my ears pierced until 13. After 18, I had my tongue pierced, cartilage pierced, and 3 sets of earrings in each ear. I never did drugs and I never joined a gang. I did however rebel strongly from my parent's rules at 18.

You are more likely to try and get out of a straight jacket than to accept being put into one.

[nmoira]

 

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such. Not saying that allowing your son to get a piercing or dye his hair will automatically lead to a drug problem, but it's often IMHO a sign of an overly permissive parenting style. Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

I'm far more concerned about parents who don't expect their children to step up and take responsibility for their actions and choices than those who either don't have a problem with piercings in general, or those who wouldn't make their children's getting them or not a hill to die on.

[Haiku]

Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

 

I have plenty of parental authority. I just don't particularly care whether my kids have funky-colored hair and piercings (or tattoos, for that matter). Other parents have plenty of parental authority but don't particularly care about something that I might care a lot about. It has nothing to do with being permissive or lacking authority.

 

Tara

[OnTheBrink]

The difference is you're an adult. When my DS is an adult and self-supporting, he will have the prerogative to become a full-on drag queen if he so chooses. I would not like it, but at that point it's his life. While he's underage and supported by us, however, he will have to abide by our standards for appearance.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

My children will/have remain(ed) ink and piercing-free until they're on their own, supporting themselves.

[Wheres Toto]

Here's a couple links to articles that show that Authoritarian parents (my way or the highway even on relatively minor issues) are more likely to have children that rebel than Authoritative parents (children are given a set of important but not arbitrary rules to follow and allowed power to make decisions on not so important issues). It's not hard to find even more.

 

http://www.preteen-thru-teenage-parenting-action-guide.com/authoritarian-parenting.html

http://www.helium.com/items/1343815-authoritative-authoritarian-parent-parenting-style

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/infantparentingtips/a/04_pntg_styles.htm

[Mejane]

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such.

 

Clear standards and expectations are fine, but many parents are overly authoritarian, giving their kids no choices in any area of their lives. Ime, kids who were brow-beaten into their parents' way of thinking were more often the ones who rebelled, some in a big way (drugs, running away, suicide.)

[Haiku]

FTR, if parents don't feel comfortable letting their kid get pierced/tattooed/dyed a funky color, I have zero problem with that. Your kids, your rules, you know? I'm just not sure why it has to be that those who wouldn't allow it are somehow doing the right thing and those who would are somehow overly permissive, wimpy parents who won't step up and lead. :confused:

 

Tara

[mysticamethyst]

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such. Not saying that allowing your son to get a piercing or dye his hair will automatically lead to a drug problem, but it's often IMHO a sign of an overly permissive parenting style. Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

 

I find myself saying no to many things, and for us this is not a huge thing. I do not allow them to do many things that other teens do. I am the mean mom because they aren't allowed to play many of the video games their friends play or that they have to clean their rooms daily. I am the mean mom on the block too because I make sure studies come first. I would NEVER allow the ear stretchers or anything larger than a diamond stud. Nor would they be allowed eyebrow piercings, cheek, tongue, lip. I stand by my statement that earrings are small stuff. It is nothing more than a step towards their independence and sometimes its fun to be able to say yes.

[Denisemomof4]

I'm far more concerned about parents who don't expect their children to step up and take responsibility for their actions and choices than those who either don't have a problem with piercings in general, or those who wouldn't make their children's getting them or not a hill to die on.

 

good point. And I'm also far more concerned about parents who are legalistic and oppressive. I've seen this countless times. Then one of two scenarios typically play out. Either the kids go OVERBOARD with their feedom, partying to excess and sleeping around, just not making good choices, doing anything and everything they can to rebel against the oppressive life they were forced to live while under their parents domain. OR, they are so used to having their lives dictated to them that they can't make choices or stand on their own when out in the real world. They are very weak. And in both cases, kids learn not to share openly with their parents.

 

I have personally witnessed this many times.

[Denisemomof4]

FTR, if parents don't feel comfortable letting their kid get pierced/tattooed/dyed a funky color, I have zero problem with that. Your kids, your rules, you know? I'm just not sure why it has to be that those who wouldn't allow it are somehow doing the right thing and those who would are somehow overly permissive, wimpy parents who won't step up and lead. :confused:

 

Tara

 

Oh, that's simple: STEREOTYPE.

 

It's like the thread many months ago about long hair. People automatically assume my long haired teen (not the one with the pierced ear - his hair is SHORT) is a punk. It hurts his feelings when he's out in public and adults treat him disrespectfully. It's STUPID and makes the adults look DUMB. I know it's because he LOOKS like a punk because he has long hair, but if you just took two seconds of your time to get to know him - you'd be far impressed. It's funny, he's the most genuine, sincere, big hearted teen one could meet. He's a GREAT kid.

 

We went to get his hair cut once and some of the guys were trying to get him to cut his hair OFF. He wouldn't BUDGE. There was an assistant principal of a high school in the place and she leaned over to me and whispered into my ear, "It's the kids with the long hair that are great kids. I don't typically see problems with them. The shorter haired kids are the trouble makers. I wish people could understand."

[Crimson Wife]

FTR, if parents don't feel comfortable letting their kid get pierced/tattooed/dyed a funky color, I have zero problem with that. Your kids, your rules, you know? I'm just not sure why it has to be that those who wouldn't allow it are somehow doing the right thing and those who would are somehow overly permissive, wimpy parents who won't step up and lead. :confused:

 

Tara

 

You're misunderstanding what I said. The non-conforming appearance doesn't automatically mean the parent is overly permissive. It's just that when I see parents I have observed to be overly permissive, their kids are often non-conforming in appearance. The piercing/hair/etc. is a symptom of the more serious problem of the parents indulging their children's whims and not having clear expectations for behavior.

 

FWIW, I do consider us to be "authoritative" rather than "authoritarian" parents because we explain the reasoning behind our rules and we are open to modifying the rules if given a persuasive argument for doing so.

 

We expect our children to maintain their appearance in such a way that it does not detract from their making a good impression with mainstream society. They're going to be facing lots of competition for things, and ceteris paribus, the clean-cut looking kid is more likely to beat out the "alternative" looking one.

[Imprimis]

good point. And I'm also far more concerned about parents who are legalistic and oppressive. I've seen this countless times. Then one of two scenarios typically play out. Either the kids go OVERBOARD with their feedom, partying to excess and sleeping around, just not making good choices, doing anything and everything they can to rebel against the oppressive life they were forced to live while under their parents domain. OR, they are so used to having their lives dictated to them that they can't make choices or stand on their own when out in the real world. They are very weak. And in both cases, kids learn not to share openly with their parents.

 

I have personally witnessed this many times.

 

I completely agree with this.

 

I do not micro-manage my teen's life. I feel it's important she has the opportunity to exercise some freedom of choice (especially regarding her appearance) at this point in her life.

 

This does not mean we have no rules in our home, or that I am "overly permissive" because I allow my teen to have purple streaks in her hair or choose her own clothing.

 

To assume a parent has no authority just because his/her kid's appearance doesn't conform to your standards is way off-base, imo.

[Tidbits of Learning]

. They're going to be facing lots of competition for things, and ceteris paribus, the clean-cut looking kid is more likely to beat out the "alternative" looking one.

 

What is so funny is that the clean cut kid may have no choice in the matter. He may simply look clean cut b/c his/her parents decree it so or a judge. On the inside he could be evil incarnate. However, the alternative kid may be searching for ways to express themselves with a heart of gold.

I know of a teen recently that is so clean cut looking b/c he just spent a month in juvenile detention awaiting trial for some pretty bad stuff. Part of his probation was that he had to join Young Marines. He had to walk the walk and talk the talk. I'm sure once he graduates high school and young marines that his true colors will surface again.

[PiCO]

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such. Not saying that allowing your son to get a piercing or dye his hair will automatically lead to a drug problem, but it's often IMHO a sign of an overly permissive parenting style. Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

 

That's interesting. I've never noticed that children with dyed hair and earrings are doing drugs & such at a higher rate than unpierced children. In the town where I grew up, there was much more "& such" going on at the local Catholic schools than at the public schools. But I digress.

 

I have observed that parents who try to control every decision made by their children (especially teens), and do not allow their children to make any decisions for themselves, tend to have children who rebel against them most strongly. Sometimes to the point of leaving the value set they were raised with.

 

Maybe there's a balance somewhere in the middle.

[PiCO]

I don't believe it's discrimination to acknowledge that males and females are different. I would not forbid my DS from studying ballet or learning to sew or other stereotypically "feminine" activities. But when it comes to his appearance, DH and I have standards. No earrings, no makeup (except as part of a costume for Halloween or the stage), and no feminine clothing. I wouldn't care so much about long hair if he kept it pulled back but DH would say that's a no-go.

 

I don't want my son to grow up gender-confused. God created boys and girls to be different- equal in His eyes, but not identical.

 

Just curious- do you allow your daughter to wear any masculine clothing? I often purchase boys' clothing for my daughters, because they don't like pink or frills.

 

FWIW- I don't have boys, but I agree with you up to a point. Boys and girls are different. We live in a society with certain expectations, and I believe people should be properly socialized to know what society's expectaions are.

[Haiku]

I believe people should be properly socialized to know what society's expectaions are.

 

And then they can choose how far they wish to push the boundaries of the those expectations, if at all. The key, to me, is allowing them to choose (and, of course, allowing them to live with any consequences).

 

I can't tell you how many times women have said to me, "I wish I could shave my head!" My response is, "You can!" Sadly, most women feel incapable of doing so for no other reason than social expectations (the same is true of shaving legs and pits, I have noticed). I don't enjoy bucking tradition simply for the sake of doing so, but neither do I wish to subjugate myself to traditionalist ideas of "what women should do." I want more freedom than that for my kids (of either gender), too.

 

Tara

[Stacy in NJ]

Whether it's gender bias or not, I think using your body like an etch-a-sketch is pretty childish and not very feminine or manly. But that's just me. If I had a daughter, I'd be okay with pierced ears, but nothing else.

 

What my dss may choose to do to themselves once they reach 18 will, of course, be their own business. They do know both my opinion and my dh's opinion on the topic, though. :D

[Stacy in NJ]

:D

 

Wow. Does this seem like a personal attack or what?

[RoughCollie]

.

Edited November 17, 2010 by RoughCollie

[ealedger]

If you believe that there are gender differences because God created them male and female, then the answer would be a gender issue and a respect issue. Your answer might then be to your son," We live in a culture that does not recognize the authority of God as creator of all things or the wonder of living in His world. But we are fortunate to have Gods word to direct our lives..." and continue the conversation from there. The idea being that because we are God's creation He has just authority over our behavior and actions. If you do not believe in God as creator of all things, then it is a personal, individual decision and you as a parent will try to decide how these issues are played out in your home. He may see your opinion as coersive though, and come to the conclusion, why should you decide for me how I am to live? Where does your authority come from?

[Stacy in NJ]

Not everyone sees it as a gender or religious issue. I see it more as a class issue, frankly. While I'm bright enough (barely) to recognize that not everyone who has tats or piercings are "low class", for the most part, people of a certain socio-economic status don't mark their bodies or encourage or allow their children to. It's really a class sign-post.

[susankenny]

my son would need to be a teenager first. i'm fine with it though. his body.

[Imprimis]

Ummm....deja vu?

[Dawn in OH]

I had never really thought about this topic until you posted. My husband has a pierced ear. He only wears an earring to Medieval Faires though. He used to wear an earring more often, pre-kids, when we went out.

 

I suppose, if my son asked, and he understood he was responsible for taking care of it himself, the answer would be yes.

 

I recently gave in to letting him grow his hair long, and now he's starting to look a bit like Jim Morrison.

[justamouse]

I would let them, but I'm easy like that. :001_smile:

 

The Indios in Brazil wear gauges, men wearing earrings has been around a long time.

[Denisemomof4]

at 8, probably not. My ds15 has one pierced ear.

[justamouse]

It's been my observation that the parents who indulge their children's whims and don't have clear standards & expectations are precisely the ones who have the biggest problems with their kids getting into drugs & such. Not saying that allowing your son to get a piercing or dye his hair will automatically lead to a drug problem, but it's often IMHO a sign of an overly permissive parenting style. Parents need to embrace their authority a bit more rather than trying to be their kids' friends.

 

Yikes, that's a broad brush, no?

 

You would consider me very liberal, and very permissive-I am. Six of my children are darned near perfect, polite, hard working, wonderful peolpe to be around. The one whom I never allowed to do anything? is the thorn in my side.

 

Your assumption that permissiveness=trouble is not true.

[smrtmama]

I'd allow it at the same age, but that age isn't until they're able to completely do their own piercing care.

[zaichiki]

So, the question is, would you let your ds get his ear(s) pierced at the same age at which you would allow it for your dd? Why or why not?

 

I would want to discuss it with him. I would explain that, in American culture, a boy having his ears pierced sends a totally different message than a girl with pierced ears. It isn't equal. I would want to talk more with him about *why* he wants his ears pierced. Perhaps I could be convinced to allow him to do it if he really wanted to, but I doubt his father would ever allow it.

 

I have no problems with boys/men with pierced ears, but I would want ds to be completely aware of how he *could* be judged by those who do not know him. (Not a reason NOT to do something, but important to be aware of so one can weigh whether or not one WANTS to put themselves in that position.)

[Haiku]

While I'm bright enough (barely) to recognize that not everyone who has tats or piercings are "low class", for the most part, people of a certain socio-economic status don't mark their bodies or encourage or allow their children to. It's really a class sign-post.

 

Yowza!

 

Tara

[sparrow]

Ummm....deja vu?

 

Big time.

[IsabelC]

So, the question is, would you let your ds get his ear(s) pierced at the same age at which you would allow it for your dd? Why or why not?

 

In terms of allowing piercings, I would not / will not distinguish between my son and my daughters. The conditions are:

1. They pay for it themselves

2. They have a professional do it

3. They are aware of any possible risks

4. They are able and willing to keep the piercing site clean and cared for

 

If they can fulfil those conditions, they can have earrings (or nose, eyebrow, navel, or genital rings!)

 

But, when discussing it, I would make sure that my children understand that certain piercings are less well accepted than others, and that some people make make certain assumptions about people based on the piercings they have. It's their decision, but they need to know how it could affect their friends, their jobs, and so on, in the wider world.

Edited November 17, 2010 by Hotdrink