S/O of the plus size models thread regarding husbands.

[KidsHappen]

I was wonder if you gals could ask your husband's opinions of these women without telling them why. If they are anything like my hubby, you will have to give them some idea of what it is you want to know. Is she wel built, average size, bigger or smaller than most women they know IRL? What size do they think she wears, etc.? I am curious to see what men's opinions on the matter are as I have a feeling this is where a lot of the disconnect comes from.

 

Most men do not see a lot of naked women. They see models, actresses, singers. They think this is normal, that this is what women look like. And most men seem to have blinders when it comes to their loves. They see the love of their life as perfection and don't see anything that is less than. This is why so many men can not tell you what color eyes their wives have. That's why they don't notice when we change our hair, or lose weight. They have an idealized version of us in their head and that is all they see. They don't compare other women to us. They compare other women to the models and I bet that most men if not prompted to say otherwise would say that woman is plus-sized and may go on to comment about her pooch, her rear, her thighs.

 

Anyhow, I am kind of curious to see if this plays out as I would expect so if you don't mind ask your hubby: Wwhat size he thinks she wears? What size she looks in comparison to average women. Is she build about the same as other women? Things along these lines? Be sure to tell him that you don't want him to compare her to you but to other women, the general population, what he thinks a woman should look like.

[Jenny in GA]

Haven't shown him the picture, but in many conversations my husband has said that it is almost impossible to find a woman attractive if she is overweight -- even if she is otherwise pretty.

 

He said recently that even a plain-looking woman who is not overweight (or underweight) is more attractive than a woman who is overweight but prettier in other areas.

 

For example, we watch The Big Bang Theory, and in the episodes where Sarah Rue was on, I said to him, "Which girl do you like better? Her or Kaley Cuoco?"

 

He looked a little surprised I was even asking, and said something like, "Well, one of them is overweight, so of course the other one is prettier!"

 

He says that he's pretty sure the vast majority of guys feel that way.

 

But getting a little closer to what you're asking ... he says that it's fairly rare to see a woman who is "the correct weight for their height," and that's partly what makes them so attractive.

 

A little off-topic, but thought it would make for interesting conversation ...

[Corraleno]

I dare not show those photos to DH ~ he would drool on my keyboard, LOL. He loves what he calls "Rubenesque" women. He thinks skinny women ~ especially stick-thin actresses & models are really unsexy. He even admitted (after we were married) that when he first met me, he was attracted to me for being "smart & pretty," but thought I was waaay too skinny (I weighed 108). He's half German and grew up in England, where there is much less emphasis on "perfect" bodies/hair/teeth/etc, so he wasn't subjected to the propaganda that a size 0 body with silicone lips & BooKs is supposed to be the epitome of female beauty. He likes his women "juicy." :D

 

Jackie

[Daisy]

I showed my husband that set of pictures from the magazine spread. Can't remember which magazine it was but they were all considered "plus size models." Hubby thought they looked good, but was embarrassed I was showing them to him since he avoids all of that. :D He said most women in ads look like half-starved teenagers no older than his daughter, which freaks him out.

 

He says most men he knows prefer a real-sized woman to a toothpick.

Edited February 22, 2010 by Daisy

[Retired]

Not seeing the pictures or a link to the pictures but my dh thinks they should be proportioned to their size

 

Like the hips shouldn't be wider than their shoulders

 

he has made statements that so and so has a beautiful face and would be attractive if she looses weight

[Cricket]

My dh feels the same way as Jenny in GA's. (My dh would think Sara Rue is definitely overweight too.) He thinks waif-looking models are not attractive because they look like little girls and plus-size models are not attractive because they are overweight. I have been anywhere between a size 4 and a size 12 during our marriage. He never did think I was overweight at size 12. I'm about a 4 now and he says it wouldn't hurt me to gain at least 10 lbs. (I've had so many digestive problems over the last year that's it's been difficult to eat anything.) His ideal size is probably an 8 or 10. That would be considered overweight by most model/actress standards but thin in the real world.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Well, hubby is out of town, so it is a moot point. I so don't want to show him any photos of other women. I so do not want to get into comparisons. I don't want to hear it if he finds thin women more attractive than women whose bodies show the wear and tear of pregnancy, nursing and just plain living. I have a hard enough time feeling sexy with this worn out body without inviting comparisons. Maybe if I had always been this weight vs. 50 lbs heavier than when we got married, I wouldn't feel this way. Since dh is so not into compliments (I think I have heard 5 in 18 years of marriage), any comparisons would be death to my libido.

[Hockey Mom]

I guess I don't get the purpose of this experiment?

 

My Dh would absolutely refuse to play along with this if I asked him. He would label this as 'extreme vanity', and he believes that extreme vanity is sinful.

 

In 10+ years that we've been together, I have never once seen him look twice at another woman. In the beginning of our relationship, when we were still learning about each other, I asked him what type of woman attracted him. He would only say "you". Mushy? Yes. But he has never once (in action or word) said otherwise. I've even tried to "catch" him off guard, and he never waivers. Even his friends have teased him because he just doesn't get into "babe watching".

 

When I tell him that I 'feel fat' or when I go on a diet, he gets annoyed. He thinks that women spend too much time comparing themselves to unrealistic images. He feels it's a disease in our society. He feels that God makes each one of us unique, and that beauty is what God says it is - not Cosmopolitan. Those are his words. He's used this phrase many times whenever a discussion like this comes up.

 

I actually feel a little sad that some of your Dh's would tell you that being overweight is not attractive. :( What if something tragic happened that left you overweight - such as a car accident, and you could no longer exercise? Would he feel justified in his feelings? I just don't get it. :confused:

[Daisy]

In the beginning of our relationship, when we were still learning about each other, I asked him what type of woman attracted him. He would only say "you". Mushy? Yes. But he has never once (in action or word) said otherwise....

 

When I tell him that I 'feel fat' or when I go on a diet, he gets annoyed. He thinks that women spend too much time comparing themselves to unrealistic images. He feels it's a disease in our society. He feels that God makes each one of us unique, and that beauty is what God says it is - not Cosmopolitan. Those are his words. He's used this phrase many times whenever a discussion like this comes up.

 

:iagree: This is my hubby! I'd be heartbroken if my husband made negative comments about how I looked. I can't even imagine.

[Nakia]

My husband would NEVER make a comment about a woman's butt being big or her thighs being chubby, even if prompted by me. He just feels that is very disrespectful of the woman's body. I do know he likes curvy women because he is awfully fond of me. :D

[Renee in NC]

Haven't shown him the picture, but in many conversations my husband has said that it is almost impossible to find a woman attractive if she is overweight -- even if she is otherwise pretty.

 

He said recently that even a plain-looking woman who is not overweight (or underweight) is more attractive than a woman who is overweight but prettier in other areas.

 

For example, we watch The Big Bang Theory, and in the episodes where Sarah Rue was on, I said to him, "Which girl do you like better? Her or Kaley Cuoco?"

 

He looked a little surprised I was even asking, and said something like, "Well, one of them is overweight, so of course the other one is prettier!"

 

He says that he's pretty sure the vast majority of guys feel that way.

 

But getting a little closer to what you're asking ... he says that it's fairly rare to see a woman who is "the correct weight for their height," and that's partly what makes them so attractive.

 

A little off-topic, but thought it would make for interesting conversation ...

 

Wow. Really? My dad is this way and thinks anything less than skinny perfection is bad. I didn't realize that other men felt that way, too. I thought he was just nuts!:lol: My SIL was slightly (and I mean slightly) larger than skinny and he made some comment about her being overweight (and he is absolutely nuts.)

 

I know my dh doesn't think this way because I was, ahem, well-rounded when we met. I am even more well-rounded now.;) He doesn't seem to have a problem with it and it is obvious that he isn't just trying to be nice IYKWIM.:D

[KidsHappen]

I guess I don't get the purpose of this experiment? :confused:

 

The purpose was that in the other threads many women said that there was no way those women were large or plus sized but were in fact normal sized. Most women think that these women look like average women. My point was that I think men would view these women differently than women do. I think that men would in fact think that these women are large, plus sized women. I think that the reason for that is that in most men's minds women fall into just a few categories: the wives, their family (dds, moms, sisters, etc.) celebreties (models, actresses, singers, etc.) and other women. They see their wives as beautiful (regardless of what they actually look like) because they love them, the don't look at family in that way, nor do they notice other real life women (the ones that we are talking about) so in their minds it is the celebreties that look normal or average. So they would consider anyone in the public eye that did not look that way as large or plus sized. Now, many men do like larger, plus size women especially if they are well proportioned but they still see them as large. My point was that men and women view these things differently and it seems that perhaps many women do not realize this.

 

That is one of the reasons that I think it is so critically important for us to have more normal and plus size women in the public eye. Not only does it do wonders for women'r self esteem (especially young women) but it re-adjusts mens ideas of what real women really look like.

[Mrs Mungo]

That is one of the reasons that I think it is so critically important for us to have more normal and plus size women in the public eye. Not only does it do wonders for women'r self esteem (especially young women) but it re-adjusts mens ideas of what real women really look like.

 

I think this is an excellent point. Most of the women people (men and women) do see naked (or even nearly naked) are actresses who are underweight or even body doubles for underweight actresses and women who have been heavily photoshopped. It creates an unrealistic picture in the minds of men and women of what women's bodies should look like. For example, Jennifer Aniston is 5'5" and weighs 110 lbs (according to an interview she did with Rolling Stone). That is underweight as far as BMI goes.

[Elisheva]

I'm not interested in asking my husband to rate women but I can tell you from past conversations, his (ahem!) "taste" is cosmopolitan. He also knows nothing about the women's sizing system, and is constantly surprised/incredulous that although we are about the same size, he can buy clothes at most stores and I can't.

 

Outside of the high school/college/young hipster single professional set, I doubt guys are as obsessed with skinniness as the media tells us they are. They may have a superficial preference for it because that's what the media has conditioned them to, they may give lip service to it, but the fact is that if men were really only attracted to skinny women, the human race would die out because there aren't enough of them to go around. I think most people of a certain maturity level understand that you can't expect perfection in everyday life. If anything I think women are harder on our own and each others' bodies because the diet industry has us convinced that it is our fault and under control if we are not thin, which is largely untrue.

[Jenny in GA]

Wow. Really? My dad is this way and thinks anything less than skinny perfection is bad. I didn't realize that other men felt that way, too. I thought he was just nuts!:lol:

 

Oh no, I wouldn't say that he only likes "skinny perfection." He thought Calista Flockhart looked awful in her skinniness, and thinks Courtney Cox looked way too bony in some episodes of Friends.

 

But true, he does think overweight=not pretty, regardless of other factors.

[Lovedtodeath]

Kidshappen, :grouphug: I see nothing wrong with your request. I will ask my husband and report back.

 

The fact is that the ideal beauty in society is always what is hardest to attain. Back when most women had little food and had to work hard, it was the ideal to be voluptuous, soft, pale... all of the qualities of the rich. Now with our modern lifestyle it is difficult to attain a tight, muscled body. We are too busy caring for our children, working jobs that involve a lot of sitting or standing in one place, and eating the foods that are convenient and less expensive. For the celebrities and models that are ideal their job is to look good. Their life is centered around it and they have "servants" that help them eat and exercise in order to attain that look. So the ideal beauty is once again what is most difficult to attain.

[Jenny in GA]

 

I actually feel a little sad that some of your Dh's would tell you that being overweight is not attractive. :( What if something tragic happened that left you overweight - such as a car accident, and you could no longer exercise? Would he feel justified in his feelings? I just don't get it. :confused:

 

Well, to be fair, it's not that he's said to me, "Oh, you've gained weight, and I don't think you're pretty anymore" or something like that. He's said it commented on other people, or people in general, or what guys in general think.

 

If something left me overweight that was out of our control, he wouldn't divorce me or anything, but he would definitely be disappointed.

 

If I was overweight and it was in my control, he would definitely want me to do something about it.

[chaik76]

My dh has a very realistic view of what "real" women look like. It doesn't take a woman being the "right weight" for him to find them attractive....although he does have things he particularly likes. He does not like too skinny...he likes women to look "womanly"...with curves and a chest. So most models aren't attractive to him. For reference, he always thought the red-haired girl in That 70s show to be very pretty.

[KidsHappen]

Kidshappen, :grouphug: I see nothing wrong with your request. I will ask my husband and report back.

 

The fact is that the ideal beauty in society is always what is hardest to attain. Back when most women had little food and had to work hard, it was the ideal to be voluptuous, soft, pale... all of the qualities of the rich. Now with our modern lifestyle it is difficult to attain a tight, muscled body. We are too busy caring for our children, working jobs that involve a lot of sitting or standing in one place, and eating the foods that are convenient and less expensive. For the celebrities and models that are ideal their job is to look good. Their life is centered around it and they have "servants" that help them eat and exercise in order to attain that look. So the ideal beauty is once again what is most difficult to attain.

 

 

You make an excellent point. We covered this in my women's studies class in college. If only age worked that way as well. :tongue_smilie: After all, it is hard work to make it to a ripe old age.

[Lovedtodeath]

You make an excellent point. We covered this in my women's studies class in college. If only age worked that way as well. :tongue_smilie: After all, it is hard work to make it to a ripe old age.

Alas, it is also hard work to stay young. :tongue_smilie:I think that the young being attractive is just that it reminds the viewer of their youth and perhaps their first love.

[Mrs Mungo]

My dh has a very realistic view of what "real" women look like. It doesn't take a woman being the "right weight" for him to find them attractive....although he does have things he particularly likes. He does not like too skinny...he likes women to look "womanly"...with curves and a chest. So most models aren't attractive to him. For reference, he always thought the red-haired girl in That 70s show to be very pretty.

 

But even she is 5'10" and weighs 130 which is *barely* in the normal range for BMI. Many, many female celebrities are underweight or barely in the normal range. Underweight *is* starting to equal what is "normal" or "acceptable" and I agree that it's a problem.

[Parrothead]

I can not ask dh since he is out of town. I really have no idea what he would say though. I do know that he did not make rude comments when I was 192 lbs. I also know he has not said anything either way with me being 145 lbs.

 

I do know he has commented on what I would call obese women.

 

And, I have to say that IMHO the models I saw in some of the photos were not plus sized. I do not consider my size 10/12/14 self to be plus sized. I listed all three sizes I wear depending on cut.

 

Their life is centered around it and they have "servants" that help them eat and exercise in order to attain that look. So the ideal beauty is once again what is most difficult to attain.

I've heard many many stories about models or actresses that starve themselves so they can stay thin. I read at one time that some women will take up smoking just to stay thin.

[Cricket]

But even she is 5'10" and weighs 130 which is *barely* in the normal range for BMI. Many, many female celebrities are underweight or barely in the normal range. Underweight *is* starting to equal what is "normal" or "acceptable" and I agree that it's a problem.

 

It's amazing to find out an actress that looks normal to me is a size 0. I remember reading about some girl (can't remember her name) who I always thought looked rounder than others was actually a size 0. Yikes! I realized later it was just because she had a round face that made her look bigger. It's amazing how distorted your view can become!

[chaik76]

But even she is 5'10" and weighs 130 which is *barely* in the normal range for BMI. Many, many female celebrities are underweight or barely in the normal range. Underweight *is* starting to equal what is "normal" or "acceptable" and I agree that it's a problem.

If you look at her in the early years of the show, she is wearing loose-ish shirts which most likely hide how skinny she really is. IRL the women my husband finds most beautiful are the ones who are definitely curvy....(I"m not going to put a size, because I can be almost emaciated and I will still wear a size 12 because of my hips). She was just the example I could think of that looked like she was a normal weight.

[mirth]

He thinks that women spend too much time comparing themselves to unrealistic images. He feels it's a disease in our society.

 

Absolutely agree. It is only women buying magazines like Glamour and Cosmo and getting depressed, riled, or excited(*) by any of these images. My husband would be dumbstruck if any of his guy friends asked him to show me a pic of a buff 20yo and another of a buff 20yo who is 20# heavier and to ask me who is hotter! If he actually did it, you could knock me over with a feather.

 

(*)says Glamour's editor-in-chief, Cindi Leive. One reader called the shot "the most amazing photograph I've ever seen in any women's magazine." Another says, "I wanted to shout from the rooftops!"

Edited February 22, 2010 by mirth

[Retired]

Well, to be fair, it's not that he's said to me, "Oh, you've gained weight, and I don't think you're pretty anymore" or something like that. He's said it commented on other people, or people in general, or what guys in general think.

 

If something left me overweight that was out of our control, he wouldn't divorce me or anything, but he would definitely be disappointed.

 

If I was overweight and it was in my control, he would definitely want me to do something about it.

 

This is my dh we have been a couple for 23 years, he and I expect each other to stay in good physical shape, now not like the magazine but to the best we can do but I spent a few years out a shape caring an extra 20 lbs and he still said I was beautiful and sexy but he does prefer me to be in good physical shape and to be quite honest I love that my 47 year husband still works out and looks so much younger than most of the men his age who carry the beer belly or look like they are expecting.

 

My kids have been raised to take good physical care of their bodies but not out of vanity. Those that are Christan's make the statement their men shouldn't judge them by body type. I can agree to an extent but lets be honest the sin of gluttony is very obvious in most churches.

 

I in all honestly try to teach "your body is a temple" that means eating properly

 

So I guess I am just as shallow as some may consider a man that wants his women to look in shape

[Mrs Mungo]

If you look at her in the early years of the show, she is wearing loose-ish shirts which most likely hide how skinny she really is. IRL the women my husband finds most beautiful are the ones who are definitely curvy....(I"m not going to put a size, because I can be almost emaciated and I will still wear a size 12 because of my hips). She was just the example I could think of that looked like she was a normal weight.

 

But that's the thing. She *does* look like a curvy woman compared to many of the actresses out there but even she is super-thin and is barely in the normal bmi range. There are not enough "normal" actresses/celebrities out there to even compare.

 

Absolutely agree. It is only women buying magazines like Glamour and Cosmo and getting depressed, riled, or excited(*) by any of these images.

 

I disagree. I don't buy Glamour or Cosmo, I'm not that kind of girl. However, those types of images are so prevalent that super-thin and under-weight is becoming "normal" and anything else is considered "fat." It *does* affect how men see women and how women see themselves. A young teenage girl's body shape isn't the one grown women should be shooting for but they *are*. eta: In other words, it's great to see magazines photograph women with normal, healthy bodies. It's a shame that they are considered plus size in an underweight industry.

Edited February 22, 2010 by Mrs Mungo

[Crimson Wife]

It depends. My DH likes women who have hourglass figures. He was just saying the other day that he doesn't get why Christina Hendricks (the redhead on Mad Men) gets so much flack as he thinks she's a million times sexier than the typical waify actress.

 

He does take a pretty dim view of women with "apple" shaped figures though. Even if they're not particularly heavy, he thinks it's unattractive.

[wulfbourne]

The woman who plays Dr. Torres on Grey's anatomy is a 'normal' sized woman, but my husband has commented that he thinks she's fat. She's a size 12. For awhile after my second I was size 12, now I'm back down to a 10. I commented on that to him because I told him that we were both size 12's and he refuses to see it. He talks about how even if my dress size is the same as her my weight is distributed different and I have thinner wrists and some other stuff. Personally, I think it's just because she's on a show where the other women are all REALLY tiny. If you put me next to Sandra Oh (Yang) I'm sure I'd look huge as well. But the way they frame the shots and who they stand next to, it makes Yang and Meradith look "normal" while Torres looks "big".

 

Here's an article with Sara Ramerez (dr. torres) about being a size 12 in a size 0 town.

http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2006/12/sara-ramirez

[lionfamily1999]

My dh doesn't have much of an opinion. He said they look like they're healthy and could with stand some strong winds, but would still get blown away by a gust :lol: He has, imo, a wide range for "normal" or "healthy." If you can count their ribs, then they're too thin, if their shoulder bones stand out, too thin. And I think that around size 24 and up he thinks they're a little chunky. I'm harder on other women than he is :p

[KidsHappen]

It is only women buying magazines like Glamour and Cosmo and getting depressed, riled, or excited(*) by any of these images.

 

 

Unfortunately, men do buy other kinds of magazines and most of those feature women that are even more unrealistic looking. Additionally many young men's only exposure to the opposite sex is young thin women: magazines, actresses, models, singers and girls their own age that are also usually still pretty thin with more of a girlish than womanly figure. This is when men are most impressionable and when they form idea of what women look like. Of course, you fall in love with who you fall in love with and I really don't think it makes any difference at all what that person looks like. But in their minds they still have an ideal image of what the average woman looks like and I don't think that it aligns very closely with reality. Of course, this is just MHO.

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm moving your post around, sorry! :)

Additionally many young men's only exposure to the opposite sex is young thin women: magazines, actresses, models, singers and girls their own age that are also usually still pretty thin with more of a girlish than womanly figure. This is when men are most impressionable and when they form idea of what women look like. Of course, you fall in love with who you fall in love with and I really don't think it makes any difference at all what that person looks like. But in their minds they still have an ideal image of what the average woman looks like and I don't think that it aligns very closely with reality. Of course, this is just MHO.

 

:iagree:

 

Unfortunately, men do buy other kinds of magazines and most of those feature women that are even more unrealistic looking.

 

This is something else that is a real problem, imo. *Most* of those women are surgically enhanced in a way that doesn't often happen in nature. Most women who are thin have no booty or boobs. You had men who liked thin women, men who liked boobs or booties, there was a good variety of preferences. Now women get unhealthily thin and add on boobs and booty via surgery. It's completely and totally unrealistic and unattainable without surgery for the vast majority of women. Honestly? I think this is why so women are heavy and/or don't bother to try to look good. They've given up because the "ideal" is *so* incredibly far out of reach.

[Ibbygirl]

To the OP, my husband saw the picture of the blonde plus sized model a few months back when it first appeared and they reported on it on Yahoo. He said back then that he didn't understand why she was considered "plus size" and that she looked "normal". My husband is not American though so his view of women is more normal I guess. He always thinks that American models/actresses/etc are too skinny and have no butts. He thinks a woman should look "healthy" and have her natural curves, but that she should "be fit" and not flabby.

 

As far as women's sizes go.. He would be absolutely clueless. He has no idea about women's sizes in anything and the numbers mean nothing to him.

 

Hope that helps your experiment. :)

[KidsHappen]

The woman who plays Dr. Torres on Grey's anatomy is a 'normal' sized woman, but my husband has commented that he thinks she's fat. She's a size 12. For awhile after my second I was size 12, now I'm back down to a 10. I commented on that to him because I told him that we were both size 12's and he refuses to see it. He talks about how even if my dress size is the same as her my weight is distributed different and I have thinner wrists and some other stuff. Personally, I think it's just because she's on a show where the other women are all REALLY tiny. If you put me next to Sandra Oh (Yang) I'm sure I'd look huge as well. But the way they frame the shots and who they stand next to, it makes Yang and Meradith look "normal" while Torres looks "big".

 

Here's an article with Sara Ramerez (dr. torres) about being a size 12 in a size 0 town.

http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2006/12/sara-ramirez

 

Yes, my hubby commented on the lady's flabby belly and said that was unattractive and that he is glad I never looked like that. I pointed out that he obviously has selective memory or was loveblind in the first place as I have given birth to six children and had the belly for quite a while after each one. :001_smile:

[KidsHappen]

I'm moving your post around, sorry! :)

 

 

:iagree:

 

 

 

This is something else that is a real problem, imo. *Most* of those women are surgically enhanced in a way that doesn't often happen in nature. Most women who are thin have no booty or boobs. You had men who liked thin women, men who liked boobs or booties, there was a good variety of preferences. Now women get unhealthily thin and add on boobs and booty via surgery. It's completely and totally unrealistic and unattainable without surgery for the vast majority of women. Honestly? I think this is why so women are heavy and/or don't bother to try to look good. They've given up because the "ideal" is *so* incredibly far out of reach.

 

 

 

I don't think our fashions these days help much either. Oh for the days of prarie dresses, togas, or even the full length gowns of Renaissance England or France.

[justamouse]

Well, considering the fact that my husband dated a girl upward of 220 before we met, I'd say he thinks beauty is in between the ears. And he dated her when he was a competitive dead lifter (dude was buff lemme tell ya).

 

When he and I met, I was at my thinnest, 117 (5'5") and I looked emaciated. I have bird bones so it wasn't attractive at all. He actually made me go to the gym and eat to get healthier.

[Rosie_0801]

My hubby would prefer a bit of chubbiness over stick insect any day, he thinks a woman should look cuddly :) The unhealthy extremes are both unattractive but he rekons women should relax because the bonus points that come from being allowed to touch will trump. Not because he's a sleazy guy who wants to grope other women, but "Ha! You can keep your perfect 10! Miss Size 12-14 here is MINE and I'M the only one allowed to touch! Ha ha ha!"

 

:)

Rosie

[stripe]

I am also not really interested in giving my husband nude shots to rate, but I don't think my husband is under the impression that normal women look very skinny, and I am under the impression that he finds model-type skinny women to be somewhat ... frightening and sick-looking and somewhat masculine or something. He isn't particularly surprised at a woman, especially who has kid(s), to be curvier. My husband also did not grow up in the US, and I think that is a major factor.

[WishboneDawn]

I don't think weight is the thing with my husband. He seems to generally like a pretty face paired with generous cleavage and it not horribly fussy beyond that. I do know he's always disappointed when I watch a Top Model show (America's or Canada's) because he finds they're always odd looking and A cups. :D

[Danestress]

I feel like it makes him look bad to all of you to admit this, but he really likes thin. Not anorexic thin, but thin.

 

I am thin, so it doesn't bother me on a personal level - I know he loves the way I look and is attracted to me, and I know he would still love me if I gained weight. But I know he would think the model needs to lose some weight. No question.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Ok, I don't get all up-at-arms over math curriculums or breast vs bottle or unschooling vs school at home but this type conversation almost always results in people saying things that could really be an insult to me. I'm 5'4" and about 103lbs. I'm very healthy and extremely rarely sick. Size 0 pants only fit me in select brands. Old Navy, Gap, J Crew carry a 0 that isn't meant to truly be worn by a 0. It's so annoying!

 

I understand you might be happy with your weight but I'm happy with mine too. I've never started a thread about how disgusting overweight people are and calling them hurtful, insulting words. Here are just a few I've picked out of this thread so far: half-starved teenagers, comparing real-sized woman to a toothpick, look like little girls, stick insect, and several examples of emaciated. To be emaciated is to make or become extremely thin by starvation or disease.

 

Please...nobody would stand in the checkout line at the grocery store ranting about how disgustingly fat the women around them are but everyone nods in frantic approval when they rant over how skinny and disgusting the models and actresses are. Think about it. I'm not the way I am because I starve myself. This is the way my body is. I don't insult "them" and I'd really appreciate no longer being insulted by "them".

 

We are a typically thoughtful bunch on here. Please think before you speak/type. You wouldn't call someone that and wouldn't want it in return.

 

Please

 

Thank you :)

[wulfbourne]

Ok, I don't get all up-at-arms over math curriculums or breast vs bottle or unschooling vs school at home but this type conversation almost always results in people saying things that could really be an insult to me. I'm 5'4" and about 103lbs. I'm very healthy and extremely rarely sick. Size 0 pants only fit me in select brands. Old Navy, Gap, J Crew carry a 0 that isn't meant to truly be worn by a 0. It's so annoying!

 

I understand you might be happy with your weight but I'm happy with mine too. I've never started a thread about how disgusting overweight people are and calling them hurtful, insulting words. Here are just a few I've picked out of this thread so far: half-starved teenagers, comparing real-sized woman to a toothpick, look like little girls, stick insect, and several examples of emaciated. To be emaciated is to make or become extremely thin by starvation or disease.

 

Please...nobody would stand in the checkout line at the grocery store ranting about how disgustingly fat the women around them are but everyone nods in frantic approval when they rant over how skinny and disgusting the models and actresses are. Think about it. I'm not the way I am because I starve myself. This is the way my body is. I don't insult "them" and I'd really appreciate no longer being insulted by "them".

 

We are a typically thoughtful bunch on here. Please think before you speak/type. You wouldn't call someone that and wouldn't want it in return.

 

Please

 

Thank you :)

 

I definitely agree that one should make fun of people on either side of the spectrum (or in between), but for someone who is 5'4 to be a size 0 is very different than someone who is 5'8+ (which many actresses and models are). I'm 5'7 and when I look back at my high school pics I think I looked really skinny and I was a size 6. I can't imagine at my height what a size 0 would be. 5'4 and a 0 seems healthy enough to me.

[Danestress]

in the sense that a much thinner woman is some how not normal. She look neither normal nor abnormal to me but just like one body type. I think it's is historically more normal for a woman to be a bit thinner at age 20 than this woman. Styles come and go, but I think this discussion is reflective of our time and place. If you travel in Japan and China, this woman's size would look relatively larger than it does in Amerca. Chinese and Japanese women aren't "abnormal." And the difference isn't just genes. It's diet and cultural. They also, I'm told, are getting bigger as their diet is richer and more Westernized.

 

I have read that Americans are progressively heavier than they were in the past - that in the 18th century, people were simply thinner than they are now. What looks "normal" to us may just change over time. But I think a certain amount of what sparks s@xual attraction is subconscious. Just because this woman looks more like what many women look like in the US today does not mean than men's subconscious preferences are going to change. Some men may still be attracted to thin, and perhaps that's because on a biological level youth is associated with fertility and thinness is associated with youth. Other men might like more meat on their bones and maybe that's because heavier bodies are associated with nutritional "plenty," good health, and fertility. Maybe it cuts both ways. I am not sure I agree with you that we can manipulate men's s@xual desires through advertising. But maybe so. It would be really interesting to do a study on that.

 

But it's probably women's preferences that drive the advertising market resulting in really super thin models. After all, ads aren't selling women to men. They are selling clothes, perfume, shoes, make-up etc to other women.

 

Okay, actually, I am editing because it struck me that I do think advertising can manipulate men's s@xual desires. Exposure to p@rn probably changes how men perceive things. But I am not sure that just showing more thin or more heavy models necessarily changes the way a man responds s@xually to a woman he meets. Chemistry is just so much more complicated than that.

Edited February 22, 2010 by Danestress

[Renee in NC]

OK, I asked dh. He said the first one was not plus-sized by his definition. The other ones (in various stages of undress) were "huskier" but not plus sized. He said they looked a heck of a lot better than those skin and bones toothpick women.:tongue_smilie:

 

And I would say he was being honest - I said before that when we met I was not thin (probably a size 16 - whatever size that was 13 years ago.)

 

ETA: In reference to the above post, he wouldn't consider someone 5'4" and 103 pounds a skin and bones toothpick woman, so this was not an insult. It is in reference to celebrities who go out of their way to be that "ideal" that doesn't exist. Think about Brittany Spears when she had that belly that the media talked about for weeks. Of course she did - she was the mother of two young children!

Edited February 22, 2010 by Renee in FL

[KidsHappen]

Ok, I don't get all up-at-arms over math curriculums or breast vs bottle or unschooling vs school at home but this type conversation almost always results in people saying things that could really be an insult to me. I'm 5'4" and about 103lbs. I'm very healthy and extremely rarely sick. Size 0 pants only fit me in select brands. Old Navy, Gap, J Crew carry a 0 that isn't meant to truly be worn by a 0. It's so annoying!

 

I understand you might be happy with your weight but I'm happy with mine too. I've never started a thread about how disgusting overweight people are and calling them hurtful, insulting words. Here are just a few I've picked out of this thread so far: half-starved teenagers, comparing real-sized woman to a toothpick, look like little girls, stick insect, and several examples of emaciated. To be emaciated is to make or become extremely thin by starvation or disease.

 

Please...nobody would stand in the checkout line at the grocery store ranting about how disgustingly fat the women around them are but everyone nods in frantic approval when they rant over how skinny and disgusting the models and actresses are. Think about it. I'm not the way I am because I starve myself. This is the way my body is. I don't insult "them" and I'd really appreciate no longer being insulted by "them".

 

We are a typically thoughtful bunch on here. Please think before you speak/type. You wouldn't call someone that and wouldn't want it in return.

 

Please

 

Thank you :)

 

I had to go back and quickly read through all my post to make sure I hadn't said anything offensive. I didn't think I had as I am pretty thin myself and have commented many times on the hard time I got from family, friends and doctors when I got down to a size six. I was extremely thin as a teen and young adult, 5'7" and 100 lbs. and I frequently heard unflattering remarks regarding my size. I tried to gain weight and I prayed for the curves that other girls had but the only ones that ever showed up are the ones from middle age and they are in all the wrong places. :001_smile:

[Elisheva]

Ok, I don't get all up-at-arms over math curriculums or breast vs bottle or unschooling vs school at home but this type conversation almost always results in people saying things that could really be an insult to me. I'm 5'4" and about 103lbs. I'm very healthy and extremely rarely sick. Size 0 pants only fit me in select brands. Old Navy, Gap, J Crew carry a 0 that isn't meant to truly be worn by a 0. It's so annoying!

 

I understand you might be happy with your weight but I'm happy with mine too. I've never started a thread about how disgusting overweight people are and calling them hurtful, insulting words. Here are just a few I've picked out of this thread so far: half-starved teenagers, comparing real-sized woman to a toothpick, look like little girls, stick insect, and several examples of emaciated. To be emaciated is to make or become extremely thin by starvation or disease.

 

Please...nobody would stand in the checkout line at the grocery store ranting about how disgustingly fat the women around them are but everyone nods in frantic approval when they rant over how skinny and disgusting the models and actresses are. Think about it. I'm not the way I am because I starve myself. This is the way my body is. I don't insult "them" and I'd really appreciate no longer being insulted by "them".

 

We are a typically thoughtful bunch on here. Please think before you speak/type. You wouldn't call someone that and wouldn't want it in return.

 

Please

 

Thank you :)

 

As a woman at the opposite end of the spectrum (size 24/26) I agree with you 100%. The problem isn't fat or thin, the problem is the unspoken assumption that women's bodies are public property for other people to assess and grade. In defense of people who say hurtful things like that, in this society it is hard to be fat (or even just not-skinny) and we are constantly bombarded with messages that we are not good enough. It is more than you may be aware of, since you are not the target of it. So a lot of it is misplaced anger, blaming other women. A lot of it is envy. Also, some of us may have a history of having it lorded over us by thinner or more attractive girls/women in our lives. Not saying you have done this yourself, but the reality is that if society tells one group of people they are more worthy than another, some of them are happy to take advantage of it. None of this makes the hurt you felt about this right, but I hope it makes it understandable.

 

Then you hear things like "it's OK to be a size 0 if you're short but not if you're tall" or "14/16 is one thing, but 24/26 is over the top"... the one possibility that never occurs to anyone is that our bodies are OK because they're our bodies, they exist to help us live our lives, and they don't require anybody else's approval. I learned at a young age to stay away from men AND women who think like that. It would make me crazy to have friends who are always judging and comparing, or Heaven forbid a guy whose love would be conditioned on staying within a certain range. I am happily married and my best friend is a naturally petite, size 2 fitness instructor.

[KidsHappen]

Oh my, what a hornet's nest. :001_huh: I am sorry if some people found my suggestion offensive. It was not intended to be nor did I realize that some people would find it so. I did specifically state not to ask your hubby to compare these ladies to you. I did not suggest that you should ask their opinion regarding the women's sexual attractiveness. I do realize that two of the women were nude but I personally viewed them as more artistic than sexual nudes. It did not occur to me that others would view them differently. I was obviously so blinded by my own POV that I failed to consider other possibilities and for that I apologize. Perhaps, I should have simply stated that IMHO, men and women have different opinions regarding women's sizes and that I feel it does impact women in our society.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I think it is fine to be naturally skinny:) It does concern me though that there are many models who starve themselves to be unnaturally thin though. It sets an impossible standard for most women. I know that these fashion magazines are catering to women, but frankly I cannot imagine that the average women thinks that these models look good with the anorexic look. I think the average women would rather see great looking, average size women like Marilyn Monroe:) I think these fashion magazines are in a sense thumbing their noses at the averages women's tastes IMHO.

[stripe]

I have absolutely no problem showing the picture to my husband. His comments? He has no idea what size she is, since he doesn't shop in the ladies dept, he said she has a tummy pooch like mine,

You are a stronger woman than I to not be bothered by that statement.

[Mrs Mungo]

I think it is fine to be naturally skinny:) It does concern me though that there are many models who starve themselves to be unnaturally thin though. It sets an impossible standard for most women.

 

I agree and plastic surgery plays quite a role as well in setting an impossible standard. I'm 5'2" and I weighed 95 lbs when I got married. I'm not that thin anymore but for *me*, I *was* underweight and sickly at that size. I was also a late bloomer.