so my friend wants to boycott American girl because .....

[pqr]

In my original post, I asked the intent.

 

I know those who think you have to have a boy first. It is the right way to do it. :001_huh:

 

Well yes I know a few of those too.

[stripe]

I think maybe I'll boycott Southern Comfort Egg Nog because it doesn't come in a gallon jug. :glare:

 

I think it's the word "boycott" -- I suppose one could say that I "boycott" Petite Boutique. But I think the more appropriate word is that I choose not to buy from them because I am over 5'3" and their clothes don't fit me. I suppose I also "boycott" companies that make clothes I find ugly, itchy, or inappropriate, but we have freedom to buy from companies who make things we want. I don't think anyone should feel compelled to buy an American Girl doll.

[5kidsforME]

I'm offended they call it boycott. Maybe we can switch it to girlcott.

[WagsWife]

Exactly. I've had people make some very insulting, unwarranted, and tacky comments EVEN IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER. And they were not joking. I was assuming the pp was joking, and said so very plainly. I was not looking for a debate, but I will admit to being thin-skinned on this. These kind of jokes aren't so amusing when you've encountered people who really do have the attitude that girls aren't worth it.

 

I really do not think it is meant to be insulting...I think it is more that you are more comfortable with what you know. We have three girls. I have no problem with boys, I like boys...I am married to a 40 year old boy :D BUT there have been quite a few times when, after hearing my friends talk about worms found in pockets, stinky socks, chasing coyotes with sticks, ect...I have voiced (out loud) that I am very glad to have girls!

 

If I was the mother of all boys...I know I would shudder at the thought of dealing with appropriate clothing battles, hormones, boys and crying (many times all at the same time!) However, being an expert in the field of girls...all those things seem like a cake walk, compared to the crazy things some of the boys we know have done.;)

[abbeyej]

I don't think anyone should feel compelled to buy an American Girl doll.

 

Oh, certainly not! I was just concerned that someone would want to "boycott" over an issue where she was clearly misinformed and spreading her misinformation. She's simply *wrong* if she thinks that AG doesn't carry dolls with Asian-looking features. They might not have a doll that looks exactly like any particular child, but they do have a Chinese-American historical doll and several Asian-looking dolls in the Just Like You, Bitty Baby, and Bitty Twin collections...

 

But if she simply doesn't want to buy an AG? Meh. I certainly don't have any feelings about that one way or another. :)

[Greta]

:grouphug:

 

I think it is more that you are more comfortable with what you know.

 

Thank you both for your kind thoughts and comments. This discussion has weighed heavily on my heart today. Your replies helped a great deal.

[Impish]

I found Diva a Cabbage Patch Doll for her 7th? 8th? birthday that looked EXACTLY like her...right down to one dimple in the same cheek. I thought she would be completely thrilled.

 

Uh huh.

 

She recently confessed that she only really 'liked' the doll the last year or so. She's always played with dolls, so that wasn't the issue...she just didn't like it, and the fact that it looked like her 'creeped me out' to quote her.

 

So, I'd advise your friend to listen to her dd, and get her what ever doll her dd finds desirable...be it blonde and blue eyed, dark skinned, or purple with fins. Just because a doll resembles the child in features is no guarantee that the child will like it or enjoy it.

[stripe]

So, I'd advise your friend to listen to her dd, and get her what ever doll her dd finds desirable...be it blonde and blue eyed, dark skinned, or purple with fins. Just because a doll resembles the child in features is no guarantee that the child will like it or enjoy it.

Or borrow a page from Paris posters (which get around the issue of what race to depict the average citizen and show things like a rabbit getting on the Metro) and get into stuffed animals instead.

[smrtmama]

My mother told me that there was some sort of trouble with the American Girl company not long ago when they issued a homeless doll who was made to look dirty and all disheveled etc. It offended a lot of people. I don't know if this is true or not but she had heard that.

 

That's not accurate. Gwen is homeless. Her homelessness is ever so vaguely mentioned in one of the Girl of the Year's books. The doll isn't dirty or disheveled. People made a huge deal out of this doll without bothering to even look at the doll or read the books. Absurd.

[elw_miller]

I remember enjoying Barbie when I was growing up and I didn't think anything of it nor did anyone point out that I looked different from Barbie. So I let my girl pick what she wanted to play with.

 

Your post resonated with me. Thanks for sharing the article, too-it was quite good.

 

I have brown hair and hazel eyes, yet my favorite dolls growing up had strawberry-red hair and green eyes. And my Barbies were all blondes.

 

A child's doll shouldn't have to look 'just like her' for her to enjoy playing with it.

[Pink Fairy]

My boys are simple. Books. Jeans without holes in the knees. Sweatshirts and tee shirts. Legos. Space to run. Food.

 

I like simple.

 

Jeans without holes in the knees? Do tell! Right now, my two boys are way more complicated than their older sisters, but it might be easier to deal with if they didn't blow the knees out of their pants on a regular basis. What's your secret?

[Crissy]

Jeans without holes in the knees? Do tell! Right now, my two boys are way more complicated than their older sisters, but it might be easier to deal with if they didn't blow the knees out of their pants on a regular basis. What's your secret?

 

 

Oh, that was just a list of the few things they seem to want.

Some of them--like food and jeans without holes in the knees--they want more often than the other things. ;)

[Pink Fairy]

Oh, that was just a list of the few things they seem to want.

Some of them--like food and jeans without holes in the knees--they want more often than the other things. ;)

 

Okay, I get it. It just takes me a little longer than most. :w00t:

 

I made my boys wear shorts all last winter. There didn't seem to be a reason to buy pants that only had 3-4 week lifespan. Lucky for them we live in California and winters are comparatively mild.

[chaik76]

It is a comment I've heard time & again from women with only boys....on the internet, it is hard to judge tone....but in IRL, it is not said with a joking tone.

Well, I've said it with a joking tone in real life. And I've heard the same (in a joking tone) from moms of all girls regarding boys.

[chaik76]

Concur.

 

There is nothing that I would not do for my daughter and there is no difference between the love I have for her and that I have for my boy, but there is a difference, boys are simpler. This is especially true as they get older.

 

People who find offense in the Janet's comment are looking for a means to be insulted.

 

 

 

This thread does not necessarily need to leave the OP too far but I would ask a question.

 

Your 16 year old daughter is out late at a party

Your 16 year old boy is out late at a party

 

Honestly.....who do you worry more about?

 

When they are at that age. My boy will be able to take care of himself against another boy or boys or the same age. Will my daughter against another boy or boys?

 

You know who I will worry about more.

 

 

Boys are easier.

 

-pqr

I've agreed with you on two posts today. Wow!!! :D Too cool!

[Senorita Tuna Fish]

I was going to add about how there is something to be said about having a doll who your child thinks is beautiful and sees a reflection of her self. My oldest had a problem with being the only brown girl where we lived in Illinois and thought that her natural hair wasn't as pretty as the girls who's hair goes down (her discription). It wasn't until i got her some dolls who "look like" her and got her books with characters that "look like" her and got her involved with other "brown" and started to emphasize her hair being beautiful that things started shift. Her focus went away from who was beautiful and went to all the other things kids focus on. I hope that made sense and was helpful...I guess the moral is help them defocus on all that what's beautiful is outward and help them to see their own beauty physical and inward.

 

PS why do innocent post always get hijacked?

[unsinkable]

I was going to add about how there is something to be said about having a doll who your child thinks is beautiful and sees a reflection of her self. My oldest had a problem with being the only brown girl where we lived in Illinois and thought that her natural hair wasn't as pretty as the girls who's hair goes down (her discription). It wasn't until i got her some dolls who "look like" her and got her books with characters that "look like" her and got her involved with other "brown" and started to emphasize her hair being beautiful that things started shift. Her focus went away from who was beautiful and went to all the other things kids focus on. I hope that made sense and was helpful...I guess the moral is help them defocus on all that what's beautiful is outward and help them to see their own beauty physical and inward.

 

PS why do innocent post always get hijacked?

 

Threads go where they go.

 

I won't apologize for asking why a mother of only boys would say she is glad she has only boys. If she felt it is relevant to this thread, so be it.

 

PS: The OP was talking about someone boycotting AG b/c there isn't an Asian doll. Someone might argue that teaching a dd she is beautiful is a hijack. I wouldn't b/c threads go where they go...

[pqr]

I've agreed with you on two posts today. Wow!!! :D Too cool!

 

 

The planets, including Pluto , must be in alignment. ":-)

[PineFarmMom]

It has nothing to do with my opinion on the value of the girl, rather my relief to not have to worry about all the 'stuff' that appears to go along with having a girl.

 

My boys are simple. Books. Jeans without holes in the knees. Sweatshirts and tee shirts. Legos. Space to run. Food.

 

I like simple.

 

I have a dd who is just an awesome person. I also have 3 boys and another on the way. Boys are definitely easier than girls. Our dd is a gem...a well-behaved, delightful to everyone, teenager. She, as a teen, is definitely easier than I had feared might be the case for a teen in general, but we do worry about her more than I think we will the boys. Your summary of boys is about the same as mine. It's just a fact, I think. My boys are way fun in a completely different way than dd is.

 

Dh was just lamenting yesterday that he so wished we could have one more girl, even if it was a little more work. ;)

[Greta]

Dh was just lamenting yesterday that he so wished we could have one more girl, even if it was a little more work. ;)

 

You know, I have really agonized over this thread and my part in it. So I have to tell you that this just made my day and lifted my spirits. Give your sweet dh a hug for me! :D

 

I certainly make no claim about which sex is easier to raise -- I only have the one daughter, so I can't begin to say. I just know that she is worth every effort I have put into her a thousand times over and more besides.

 

So I wanted to explain that I am not arguing with parents of both who say boys are easier. My only complaint is the many zingers I've received from moms of only boys about how glad they are not to have a girl. That's a whole different ballgame than parents of both saying boys are easier but they love their daughters just as much. Whatever the tone, sometimes joking and sometimes NOT, it still stings. I've always found these kinds of jokes uncomfortable (I'm so glad I don't have a kid like YOURS! Hahahaha! :confused: That's funny?) but I guess I lost my tolerance for it when someone made a very serious and insulting comment, when my sweet little daughter was standing right there holding my hand. But that is *my* issue and *my* pain, and I shouldn't let it color my other experiences too much. So I apologize for speaking up to begin with. I'm having more and more experiences recently of wishing I'd never gotten involved in a conversation in the first place. Maybe God is trying to tell me to shut my mouth and open my heart. :001_smile:

[PineFarmMom]

You know, I have really agonized over this thread and my part in it. So I have to tell you that this just made my day and lifted my spirits. Give your sweet dh a hug for me! :D

 

I certainly make no claim about which sex is easier to raise -- I only have the one daughter, so I can't begin to say. I just know that she is worth every effort I have put into her a thousand times over and more besides.

 

So I wanted to explain that I am not arguing with parents of both who say boys are easier. My only complaint is the many zingers I've received from moms of only boys about how glad they are not to have a girl. That's a whole different ballgame than parents of both saying boys are easier but they love their daughters just as much. Whatever the tone, sometimes joking and sometimes NOT, it still stings. I've always found these kinds of jokes uncomfortable (I'm so glad I don't have a kid like YOURS! Hahahaha! :confused: That's funny?) but I guess I lost my tolerance for it when someone made a very serious and insulting comment, when my sweet little daughter was standing right there holding my hand. But that is *my* issue and *my* pain, and I shouldn't let it color my other experiences too much. So I apologize for speaking up to begin with. I'm having more and more experiences recently of wishing I'd never gotten involved in a conversation in the first place. Maybe God is trying to tell me to shut my mouth and open my heart. :001_smile:

 

I get you. Having both sexes in our house makes it different, but if I had only one and other people even hinted that the opposite was better/easier/more fun, etc., I'd find it highly offensive!!

 

Several years ago at a pre-funeral dinner, my oldest ds, then 3, sat at the table in his nice and spotless funeral attire and proceeded to dump a big plate of chocolate pie directly into his lap. This was out of town and I had nothing for him to change into. A snarky fellow mom commented to me that that is exactly why she was so glad she only had girls...I mean, girls never dump stuff in their laps, right? ;) It momentarily sent me into orbit, but then I remembered her dh desperately wanted a son, so I knew the comment really came from a place inside that wanted to deny that she, too, wanted to have a little boy. Maybe that is what you are dealing with at times. I know moms with a house full of boys or a house full of girls or even one of either sex that are perfectly content, but I think they'd be the last ones to make negative comments...it's the ones who feel that void that will protest much!! ;)

[PiCO]

It always baffles me when people say this. Especially when a woman will say she's glad she has boys or a man will say he is glad he has girls.

 

It is truly baffling.

 

Hmmm... I never thought a comment like this would offend someone. I often say I'm glad I have girls. The truth is, I'm glad I have *my* girls- tough tomboys who never wanted dolls are are not into the latest fashions.

 

Before I had kids, I wanted only boys. I'm more of a tomboy, so I didn't know what I would do if I had girly-girls. One of my dds went through a dress-wearing phase, and the other went through a make-up wearing phase, and it wasn't so bad. I just love my girls because they're mine.

[PiCO]

My only complaint is the many zingers I've received from moms of only boys about how glad they are not to have a girl.

 

I think they're just jealous. I know a woman who says this on a regular basis, but I know she longs for a daughter.

[PiCO]

My comment is that I'm glad I had boys.

 

I have two girls, and I'm not insulted. ;)

[astrid]

That's not accurate. Gwen is homeless. Her homelessness is ever so vaguely mentioned in one of the Girl of the Year's books. The doll isn't dirty or disheveled. People made a huge deal out of this doll without bothering to even look at the doll or read the books. Absurd.

 

:iagree:

Here is Gwen:

http://store.americangirl.com/agshop/EndecaForwardServlet?dest=%2Fagshop%2Fhtml%2FProductPage.jsf%2FitemId%2F142095&event=topRecordsReport&sku=F9311

[unsinkable]

Hmmm... I never thought a comment like this would offend someone. I often say I'm glad I have girls. The truth is, I'm glad I have *my* girls- tough tomboys who never wanted dolls are are not into the latest fashions.

 

Before I had kids, I wanted only boys. I'm more of a tomboy, so I didn't know what I would do if I had girly-girls. One of my dds went through a dress-wearing phase, and the other went through a make-up wearing phase, and it wasn't so bad. I just love my girls because they're mine.

 

I wrote baffles, not offends.

 

:confused:

[LibraryLover]

It seems such a thought is best left unsaid, no matter how you mean it.

Edited December 6, 2009 by LibraryLover

[PinkInTheBlue]

Well I have all boys and I would estimate that at least 50% of the days we are out I get some sort of sympathetic comment on being stuck with all boys. I'm SO sick and tired of it!!!!! It is my sore spot or top pet peeve. The comments are ALWAYS directed to me as if I couldn't possibly be happy with only boys. I'm very happy with boys, thank you very much! I'm a girlie girl and I don't want to "try again" just because I must have a girl.

 

Ok, I'm finished for the moment. I really get annoyed at thus one. Especially since they blurt it out in front of my boys. "So sorry you're stuck with all these boys." Sheesh!!!

[Mabelen]

I only have girls, and I have been told the "I am glad I have boys" by moms of only boys. I have to say I haven't been offended nor baffled by this comment. I don't think boys nor girls are easier to raise. In my opinion, boys tend to be harder to raise when they are younger, but raising girls gets harder as they approach their teens!

[HRAAB]

You know, I have really agonized over this thread and my part in it. So I have to tell you that this just made my day and lifted my spirits. Give your sweet dh a hug for me! :D

 

I certainly make no claim about which sex is easier to raise -- I only have the one daughter, so I can't begin to say. I just know that she is worth every effort I have put into her a thousand times over and more besides.

 

So I wanted to explain that I am not arguing with parents of both who say boys are easier. My only complaint is the many zingers I've received from moms of only boys about how glad they are not to have a girl. That's a whole different ballgame than parents of both saying boys are easier but they love their daughters just as much. Whatever the tone, sometimes joking and sometimes NOT, it still stings. I've always found these kinds of jokes uncomfortable (I'm so glad I don't have a kid like YOURS! Hahahaha! :confused: That's funny?) but I guess I lost my tolerance for it when someone made a very serious and insulting comment, when my sweet little daughter was standing right there holding my hand. But that is *my* issue and *my* pain, and I shouldn't let it color my other experiences too much. So I apologize for speaking up to begin with. I'm having more and more experiences recently of wishing I'd never gotten involved in a conversation in the first place. Maybe God is trying to tell me to shut my mouth and open my heart. :001_smile:

 

You're not alone. We are the parents of five girls and have been on the receiving end of comments like this for years. "Boy, do I feel sorry for you with all those girls." "I'm so glad mine are boys, I can't imagine raising five girls." Or, the winner of all, after our third daughter was born, "Oh, how disappointed your husband must be." My dh was anything but disappointed; he was ecstatic over the birth of each dd.

 

I know a boy would have been loved every bit as much, and no doubt dh would have enjoyed a boy to throw a football with, but girls actually can throw and catch footballs quite well, bait hooks, clean fish, and get greasy working on cars right along with their dads. Then they will bake cookies and serve them with a big hug.

 

It is what it is. Some get all one or another sex, some get a mixture. I'm pleased as can be with my girls, and I would have been just as pleased with boys. We wanted children. My dh mentions many times he would have loved to have even more girls. Father/son relationships have some very special dynamics, but a father/daughter relationship is very special, too, in a different way. My dh doesn't cry very often, but there were tears on his face when he walked our dd down the aisle at her wedding.

 

All children are blessings.

[LibraryLover]

You're not alone. We are the parents of five girls and have been on the receiving end of comments like this for years. "Boy, do I feel sorry for you with all those girls." "I'm so glad mine are boys, I can't imagine raising five girls." Or, the winner of all, after our third daughter was born, "Oh, how disappointed your husband must be."

 

 

As I said, some things should remain unspoken. Because a thought pops into one's head does not mean it needs to pop out of one's mouth.

 

The brain has filtering capabilities, and some people would be wise to make use of that.

[JMDRAD]

It always baffles me when people say this. Especially when a woman will say she's glad she has boys or a man will say he is glad he has girls.

 

Are you just being flip? Or are girls' issues so horrible? Would having a girl be so bad? What about grandchildren? :confused: :001_huh:

 

I have 1 girl & 2 boys...and I have had women with all boys make comments like this to me...

 

It is truly baffling.

 

 

LOL I've gotta say, I'm glad I have all girls. I've had people with all boys say this to me frequently too. :lol:

[5kidsforME]

LOL I've gotta say, I'm glad I have all girls. I've had people with all boys say this to me frequently too. :lol:

 

 

You're so mean! :svengo:

 

 

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

Oh and I have 3 boys.

[zaichiki]

In my opinion, boys tend to be harder to raise when they are younger, but raising girls gets harder as they approach their teens!

 

I'll soon have two of each... I've been thinking the same way you have.

 

I've noticed my daughter is less active and less easily whipped into a frenzy than my boys are (so perhaps easier to raise now that she's young?), but I've been given glimpses of more complicated teen-girl issues to come as well. I think my boys are getting easier as they get older (and acquire more of an ability to moderate their behavior).

 

I *love* both boys and girls and I'm happy to have both! (Although I would never tell friends who only have one gender anything positive or negative about only having the one gender. It's none of my business -- and I wouldn't want to inadvertantly hurt their feelings.)

[Greta]

Thank you, you wonderful ladies, for your sympathies, understanding, and sharing your similar experiences. You are probably right about there being some jealousy/longing issues -- and I have jealousies of my own that may have colored my reactions. I am insanely jealous of all of you moms with more than one child -- I've wanted another child so much, and would not care one iota whether it was a boy or a girl.

 

To those moms of boys who have had similar experiences with nasty comments from moms of girls -- I AM SO SORRY! I would never dream of saying something like that, and so not ever being on the receiving end of it, I truly had no idea that this knife would cut both ways so often. It does seem like there is a general sentiment in our society that boys are easier and more fun, so I thought this was a mostly (not universally of course) one-way street. But I guess that was naive of me. Sadly, it seems to be human nature to make ourselves feel better by making others feel worse. :crying:

 

And Texas T, I'm afraid that's right: girls *never* dump food in their laps. ;) :lol: I could show you a pic of my dd where she's covered her entire face and head in pureed peaches, but she never dumped them in her lap! :lol:

[unsinkable]

Thank you, you wonderful ladies, for your sympathies, understanding, and sharing your similar experiences. You are probably right about there being some jealousy/longing issues -- and I have jealousies of my own that may have colored my reactions. I am insanely jealous of all of you moms with more than one child -- I've wanted another child so much, and would not care one iota whether it was a boy or a girl.

 

To those moms of boys who have had similar experiences with nasty comments from moms of girls -- I AM SO SORRY! I would never dream of saying something like that, and so not ever being on the receiving end of it, I truly had no idea that this knife would cut both ways so often. It does seem like there is a general sentiment in our society that boys are easier and more fun, so I thought this was a mostly (not universally of course) one-way street. But I guess that was naive of me. Sadly, it seems to be human nature to make ourselves feel better by making others feel worse. :crying:

 

And Texas T, I'm afraid that's right: girls *never* dump food in their laps. ;) :lol: I could show you a pic of my dd where she's covered her entire face and head in pureed peaches, but she never dumped them in her lap! :lol:

 

 

You are a sweetheart! :grouphug:

[zaichiki]

And Texas T, I'm afraid that's right: girls *never* dump food in their laps. ;) :lol: I could show you a pic of my dd where she's covered her entire face and head in pureed peaches, but she never dumped them in her lap! :lol:

 

Interestingly enough -- in our house -- the daughter is the messiest eater by FAR. The boys, for some reason, are less... ummm... enthusiastic about their food. :D

[FlockOfSillies]

Yeah, like there aren't a million dolls out there to choose from.