fj62 Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 This is very rough; I will polish it up a bit, but the general idea would be: Given the economy and just a general weariness in the lack of meaning year after year, we have decided in lieu of Christmas gifts, our family will be donating our Christmas funds to XYZ charity or family or whatever. We would humbly ask that you refrain from giving us gifts this Christmas also. This would go to our family and few close friends that we buy for. We really want to do this and work at making this a more meaningful Christmas. Anyone care to share service ideas that your family does to keep the proper perspective for Christmas? Again, I will expound a bit more and make it sound a bit better, but this is the idea. Please give me your honest feelings if you received this from your sister/sis-n-law, friend, daughter, etc... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 We got a "don't give us gifts, just do a service and tell us about it instead" from FIL's side. I thought it was cool. I have to figure out what we're doing for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in NH Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 I love that idea! But, phrase it gently and still don't be surprised if it catches those used to your gifts offguard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in Austin Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 I would definitely leave out the "lack of meaning" part, since some people will assume that you are saying that their gifts to you in the past haven't had any meaning. I would not announce that I was planning on making donations in lieu of gifts for other people; I would just do it. I do think it OK to send a note to people who buy gifts for you saying something like this: We are so blessed to have everything we need and many things that we want that we'd like to request this year that, instead of sending presents to our family, you make a donation to a charity of your choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 (edited) and try to say something more positive. For some people, that giving, benevolent generosity to family and friends is an important part of the season and has great meaning for them. I love what you are proposing and would be fully on board. I would just phrase it in a way that focuses on your desire to help those in need and to bless other people rather than say it has anything to do with gifts lacking meaning or being weary of that part of Christmas. Edited November 2, 2009 by Danestress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Definitely polish it up! My sister did this a few years back and I thought "Ah, typical. She's always been tight with her money." Of course she didn't actually specify that we shouldn't buy her anything. You might get gifts anyway. For some of us, Christmas gifts do have meaning, and we've been tucking things away since March. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abreakfromlife Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I think it's cool, but if I could throw another option your way, it would be to buy Fair Trade products. That way you can still give christmas gifts, but you would also be doing just as much good as giving to a charity. When people buy Fair Trade they are directly helping people stay out of poverty, stay out of sexual slavery, give them an education, and give them a valuable sense of self-worth. Fair Trade is so so so important and valuable to people. And there are a lot of really cool FT items out there now. Here are a couple of links for you to look at. http://www.tenthousandvillages.com http://www.serrv.org http://store.madebysurvivors.com/ http://www.originalgood.com/ http://www.aworldaway.net http://www.globalexchangestore.org/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I think it's cool, but if I could throw another option your way, it would be to buy Fair Trade products. That way you can still give christmas gifts, but you would also be doing just as much good as giving to a charity. When people buy Fair Trade they are directly helping people stay out of poverty, stay out of sexual slavery, give them an education, and give them a valuable sense of self-worth. Fair Trade is so so so important and valuable to people. And there are a lot of really cool FT items out there now. Here are a couple of links for you to look at.http://www.tenthousandvillages.com http://www.serrv.org http://store.madebysurvivors.com/ http://www.originalgood.com/ http://www.aworldaway.net http://www.globalexchangestore.org/ :iagree::iagree: This is an EXCELLENT suggestion; meaningful for all participants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 This is very rough; I will polish it up a bit, but the general idea would be: Given the economy and just a general weariness in the lack of meaning year after year, we have decided in lieu of Christmas gifts, our family will be donating our Christmas funds to XYZ charity or family or whatever. We would humbly ask that you refrain from giving us gifts this Christmas also. This would go to our family and few close friends that we buy for. We really want to do this and work at making this a more meaningful Christmas. Anyone care to share service ideas that your family does to keep the proper perspective for Christmas? Again, I will expound a bit more and make it sound a bit better, but this is the idea. Please give me your honest feelings if you received this from your sister/sis-n-law, friend, daughter, etc... Honestly, I'd probably be insulted--and I'm someone who really hates to shop and is all for simplifying holiday gift-giving. It sounds to me like you are saying that celebrating the holiday with family and friends has been meaningless for years? And I'm not entirely sure how the economy ties into it, since you mention you will be giving your holiday budget to charity. Do you mean you have fewer funds than usual this Christmas and can't afford to give gifts? (But then what are you giving to charity?) Or do you mean that other people need your money more than your family and friends? (Probably true, but tough to word politely. And difficult for people whose love language is gifts.) The other thing to keep in mind is that many people may have already purchased your gift for this year. I think conversations like this are best held in January or February, when people still remember the stress (and bills!) of the previous holiday season.;) My siblings and I approached this issue years ago, and I'm trying to remember how we did it. I think the conversation started by talking about how stressful we found it to find "the perfect gift" because of course there is no gift that can adequately convey the love I have for my siblings. I think money was also tight at the time for some of us, and others had space considerations. The suggestion was that we exchange Christmas ornaments every year. There's lots of room for various price points, depending on how much money we have that year. People can buy or make, whichever is easiest. And I think about my siblings each year when I decorate my tree. (We live far away and can't be together during the holidays.) Holiday gift-giving is supposed to be a way of sharing love and joy with the people in your life. If your current system isn't doing that for you, then by all means change it. But you need to change it in a way that emphasizes the relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Honestly, I'd probably be insulted--and I'm someone who really hates to shop and is all for simplifying holiday gift-giving. It sounds to me like you are saying that celebrating the holiday with family and friends has been meaningless for years? And I'm not entirely sure how the economy ties into it, since you mention you will be giving your holiday budget to charity. Do you mean you have fewer funds than usual this Christmas and can't afford to give gifts? (But then what are you giving to charity?) Or do you mean that other people need your money more than your family and friends? (Probably true, but tough to word politely. And difficult for people whose love language is gifts.) The other thing to keep in mind is that many people may have already purchased your gift for this year. I think conversations like this are best held in January or February, when people still remember the stress (and bills!) of the previous holiday season.;) My siblings and I approached this issue years ago, and I'm trying to remember how we did it. I think the conversation started by talking about how stressful we found it to find "the perfect gift" because of course there is no gift that can adequately convey the love I have for my siblings. I think money was also tight at the time for some of us, and others had space considerations. The suggestion was that we exchange Christmas ornaments every year. There's lots of room for various price points, depending on how much money we have that year. People can buy or make, whichever is easiest. And I think about my siblings each year when I decorate my tree. (We live far away and can't be together during the holidays.) Holiday gift-giving is supposed to be a way of sharing love and joy with the people in your life. If your current system isn't doing that for you, then by all means change it. But you need to change it in a way that emphasizes the relationship. This is what I thought as well. You'd be walking a tight rope with this idea. We've tried and failed to have this discussion with my ILs. We tried, with moderate success, to draw names one year and buy for only that person which cut down on cost. Then my MIL bought something for everyone and I felt bad not having anything for her. So, tread carefully and good luck. I hope it works out well for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougarmom4 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Perhaps you could talk to family members and ask if they'd like to help you 'sponsor' another family for Christmas instead of swapping gifts this year. "Hey, there is this family in our neighborhood who is really struggling--the dad is out of work and the mom is in the hospital. We thought we'd like to surprise them with the 12 Days of Christmas--and on Christmas Eve leave Santa gifts for each of the kids. Would you like to help us instead of buying for each other?" We did this at my dh's law office--it was getting ridiculous the amount of gifts we were buying for each other...all people whom we care for, but it had gotten out of hand! One year I spent almost $100...much more meaningful to put it toward helping a family who is struggling. Best wishes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Perhaps you could talk to family members and ask if they'd like to help you 'sponsor' another family for Christmas instead of swapping gifts this year. "Hey, there is this family in our neighborhood who is really struggling--the dad is out of work and the mom is in the hospital. We thought we'd like to surprise them with the 12 Days of Christmas--and on Christmas Eve leave Santa gifts for each of the kids. Would you like to help us instead of buying for each other?" We did this at my dh's law office--it was getting ridiculous the amount of gifts we were buying for each other...all people whom we care for, but it had gotten out of hand! One year I spent almost $100...much more meaningful to put it toward helping a family who is struggling. Best wishes... :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Perhaps you could talk to family members and ask if they'd like to help you 'sponsor' another family for Christmas instead of swapping gifts this year. "Hey, there is this family in our neighborhood who is really struggling--the dad is out of work and the mom is in the hospital. We thought we'd like to surprise them with the 12 Days of Christmas--and on Christmas Eve leave Santa gifts for each of the kids. Would you like to help us instead of buying for each other?" We did this at my dh's law office--it was getting ridiculous the amount of gifts we were buying for each other...all people whom we care for, but it had gotten out of hand! One year I spent almost $100...much more meaningful to put it toward helping a family who is struggling. Best wishes... I love this idea! One year, our family did a family vacation instead of gifts. We had (still have) extended family living all over the country so it was a treat to spend a whole week in a few big cabins for what could very well be the last time we are ever all together in the same room. (the kids under 18yo still got gifts) Another thought is to trade names so everyone buys 1 present instead of 30. Or, do white elephant gifts for each other (adults) and only give to the kids and set a $ limit.....then give whatever else you would have spent towards a group-giving-type thing (sponsor a family, foster kids, shelter for women, etc...). If you can all put your $ in a pot on Thanksgiving, then you can make plans that day for how you will bless others with that $. I do think it might be too late this year - have this conversation as everyone has filled their bellies full of carbs and are sending the kids to go play with their new presents. I know too many people who start Christmas Shopping Dec 26. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 The sentiment wouldn't offend me, but the current wording would. "weariness in the lack of meaning"?!? Ew. And the reference to the "proper perspective" within the context of the email as a whole makes it sound as if anyone who *does* choose to give or receive gifts at the holidays does not have the proper perspective. It *sounds* very judgmental. I'm sure that's not how you mean it, but if I received something like that, it would make me bristle. I think the wording needs a *lot* of work. But I'm also not sure that I get the sentiment. If you want your gifts to show more time and thought on your part (and that of your family), why not focus on simple, homemade items? Baked goods, home-prepared soup mixes, knitted or crocheted items (pot-holders, hats, scarves, slippers), homemade versions of classic board games (perhaps with a family twist), homemade Christmas ornaments... You can come up with all sorts of simple, inexpensive things that show you were thinking about the recipients and spending time on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 A lot depends on your extended family and your relationship. We have a single aunt and if we didn't do Christmas gifts, she wouldn't get anything. Also some people shop all year. If you have people who you don't like their presents, they may suspect that and assume it is your way out. Or if you have people that you can never please, people might suspect this is an easy out. Just throwing out all the possible negatives. I think it is a nice idea to donate money to charity at Christmas. I also think it is not to cut back on presents. Just don't donate to the Human Fund. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I am not sure if you mean that you would make a donation in the other person(s) name(s), but I would also tread carefully with that. I have some ethical issues that I hold dear and I (personally) would be very insulted if someone donated to a charity or 'cause' that I am opposed to a) because money would be given to something I object to and, b) it shows the giver doesn't really know me. If you are looking for meaning during the holidays, maybe you and the family can all donate your time - Meals on Wheels looks for people to deliver meals during the holidays, also many soup kitchens need extra help during this time. Once our kids are old enough, we plan to donate our time in this way as a means of helping out those less fortunate and also to counter balance the material excess of the season. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 The other thing to keep in mind is that many people may have already purchased your gift for this year. I think conversations like this are best held in January or February, when people still remember the stress (and bills!) of the previous holiday season.;) This is what happened with our family last year. Around July, I asked about doing a family name draw instead of buying for everyone. We were having a birthday party where all the family was there. My bil really didn't like the idea and put the brakes on it. So... my mom, my sister and I started Christmas shopping. We always shop all year around to spread out the cost and find sales. We get to beginning of November and are having yet another family birthday party where my bil states that he his business hasn't been that great and now he would like to draw names. Ummm... at this point, my Christmas shopping except for my kids is done. Same for several other family members who have started their shopping early. I politely, but firmly told him that when he told us he didn't want to change things back in July - many of us started shopping. We gave gifts as usual last Christmas, but planned and executed a name draw on Christmas Day where each adult over 18 drew a name. Hopefully it will all go well come Christmas time! All that to say, that I really don't think it is bad to stop buying tons of gifts... I just think it is something that needs to be discussed a lot earlier than now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I think that your sentiment would be best communicated in a handwritten note/card to each family member rather than a mass email. I agree about polishing it up and removing the questionable wording. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I think it's cool, but if I could throw another option your way, it would be to buy Fair Trade products. That way you can still give christmas gifts, but you would also be doing just as much good as giving to a charity. When people buy Fair Trade they are directly helping people stay out of poverty, stay out of sexual slavery, give them an education, and give them a valuable sense of self-worth. Fair Trade is so so so important and valuable to people. And there are a lot of really cool FT items out there now. Here are a couple of links for you to look at.http://www.tenthousandvillages.com http://www.serrv.org http://store.madebysurvivors.com/ http://www.originalgood.com/ http://www.aworldaway.net http://www.globalexchangestore.org/ As someone who lives in an area that gets to directly see the benefits of Fair Trade, I want to enthusiastically support this choice! It really is great and does help the families and communities involved. I would definitely do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 What about using something like Heiffer International? We have done this for years. http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.204586/ You can gift the donation of a sheep, some chickens, a cow, etc. Great way to give a gift that helps someone else!! - Cammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Perhaps a phone call to a few 'key' family members to get a feeling for whether not giving gifts would even go over well or not would be better than an email. We have friends that donate money to help build wells in Africa as a large family group, and one family that donates to a zoo in the family's name to help repair exhibits and such. Maybe something like that would work. Obviously it would have to be a cause that everyone agrees on. Our extended family still insists on buying cheap cr*p for our kids and smelly candles for the adults. *sigh* We could do some good in the world instead of adding to the landfills (the toys don't last more than a couple of weeks and 2 of my kids can't breath when smelly candles are around), but nope may family is stubborn. We are trying to instill giving in our kids by donating to a cause every Christmas, and hopefully as they get older we will be able to skip gifts and help others instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I would suggest that if it's not too many people, you try talking to them instead. If there are too many to contact, I'd at least talk to the closest ones before sending the email. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 This is very rough; I will polish it up a bit, but the general idea would be: Given the economy and just a general weariness in the lack of meaning year after year, we have decided in lieu of Christmas gifts, our family will be donating our Christmas funds to XYZ charity or family or whatever. We would humbly ask that you refrain from giving us gifts this Christmas also. This would go to our family and few close friends that we buy for. We really want to do this and work at making this a more meaningful Christmas. Anyone care to share service ideas that your family does to keep the proper perspective for Christmas? Again, I will expound a bit more and make it sound a bit better, but this is the idea. Please give me your honest feelings if you received this from your sister/sis-n-law, friend, daughter, etc... I wouldn't like it at all. If you want to give to a charity that is wonderful, but that cannot take the place of giving a loved one a gift. If you would like to request that *your* gift be a donation to XYZ instead of something you receive, that would be fine with me. But for you to make a donation to a charity and tell me that is *my* Christmas gift.... no, I can't say I'd like that much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) Our family has been doing this for years. An aunt called everyone months before Christmas and told us that in lieu of gifts, she was making a donation to Deborah Children's Hospital as her grand-son had undergone heart surgery there as an infant (he's 22 years old now :001_smile:). She asked each individual with whom she spoke on the phone to kindly use what they would have spent on gifts for her and my uncle and contrbute to a favorite organization. I think it is a lovely thing to do -- and there are so many options now.:) Edited November 2, 2009 by MariannNOVA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redheadeddaughter Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I don't think the wording is harsh, or that the message implies past gifts have been lacking in meaning. But I am the less sensitive woman in my family (only in this regard apparently!), and all the others claim gift giving, and receiving, as their love language. I find it odd, and difficult to accommodate frankly. The men don't seem to care either way until after the fact (money reality hits). I wish I had a way out of the cycle I'm in with them and have gently hinted around at name drawing and fewer gifts or gifts just for the children (one sweet sil has a quiver full of children and expects gifts for all birthdays and Christmas - to her specifications and requests), etc., to no avail. I never seem to get it right. They start calling me wanting to "trade" ideas in July. Basically a wish list. They also love to give, so I don't think it's a selfish thing. But after 10 years of this, I'm ready to throw in the towel and just focus on my immediate local family, reign it in a bunch, make Christmas cookies and maybe send out Christmas cards if I can find the time. Really. I want to do advent with my kids and make gingerbread houses and read lots of stories and attend church events. I do not want to be in stores shopping. If anyone is in town over Christmas, by all means, I want them to come by for cider and cookies. I want to write that e-mail. I wish my husband would do the dirty work honestly, because I know there will be anger and I'm a wimp! But sometimes the people that seem to "do up" Christmas big are the ones that don't get little hints. They need a big neon sign! Christmas is my favorite holiday and I want it to stay that way. It's just way too political and WAY too focused on the post office and shopping right now for MY own little family to get a happy focuses mama. I don't see that so much selfish as practical. My children and my husband are my primary ministry, and I am blessed to have them all together with me at Christmas and I want to savor it, not stress about it! :) Just my very long winded 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 The main thing that sticks out to me is that I don't think that you have given enough notice. Many people have probably already bought gifts for you and your family. I think you should find a way to still give them a gift (even if everyone gets the same thing and it is homemade) and include the note with the gift explaining that next year you are planning to give to charity instead of exchanging gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Last year my mother gave us all small, inexpensive presents (home made- she is a weaver) and then a card saying she had donated a goat in our honour to an African tribe. Its from one of those charity websites. I felt fine about it. I dont know about in the U.S. but in my circles there is a general disillusionment with the commercialisation of Christmas, and no one would be offended by it. That being said, gift giving can be wonderful and beautiful. The stress of the obligaitons of it all at Christmas is not healthy though and anyone's attempt to make it all more meaningful to them and their family is fine by me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 This is very rough; I will polish it up a bit, but the general idea would be: Given the economy and just a general weariness in the lack of meaning year after year, we have decided in lieu of Christmas gifts, our family will be donating our Christmas funds to XYZ charity or family or whatever. We would humbly ask that you refrain from giving us gifts this Christmas also. This would go to our family and few close friends that we buy for. We really want to do this and work at making this a more meaningful Christmas. Anyone care to share service ideas that your family does to keep the proper perspective for Christmas? Again, I will expound a bit more and make it sound a bit better, but this is the idea. Please give me your honest feelings if you received this from your sister/sis-n-law, friend, daughter, etc... IMHO, it is totally fine to ask for not receiving any gifts and even to suggest a charity of your choice as an option if someone wishes to donate to it in your honor. However, I think asking for ANY particular gift is tacky unless someone ASKS you. . . so I would not send out an email about the charity unless someone inquires. Saying you don't need anything and would prefer not to get gifts is OK, IMO. Remember, there are some people who very much enjoy buying others gifts, so I think you should be gentle in suggesting they not do so, as you may be taking away some of their holiday joy. . . I *hate* the trend of giving to a charity of the giver's choice and then calling it a gift to someone else. That's nuts, IMO. That's not a gift for the recipient, *unless they have asked for it*. Gifts should be given from the heart. My mom asked me yesterday to donate to a particular charity for her this year and I was irritated. She knows I hate the whole charity gift thing and that I try for a tight budget. Last year I thought I managed to find her a number of useful, enjoyable, gifts and got great deals so didn't spend too much. My $50 shopping carefully can create a lot of festive presents under the tree, but a $50 donation not so festive. . . Frankly, I now feel that I must BOTH donate AND buy gifts, so it makes it more expensive for me. But, it's my mom, and she's generally a saint, so I will do it. If it were anyone else, I'd just be irritated and I just don't know what I'd do. One alternative is to suggest a budget this year. . . something very small, say suggesting that "in order to try to recapture the meaning of the holidays while also trying to be responsible about our spending, this year the kids and us (parents) will be endeavoring to make or choose meaningful gifts to our family members without spending a lot of $$ as $$ is so tight. We have challenged ourselves to stay under a $5 budget for each family member (or $100 for the whole family. . . or whatever) and to see what we can discover about our craftiness within this budget. . . We just wanted to let you know that we decided to do this so you wouldn't feel hurt if our gifts are less elaborate than past years. Of course, what you do with your gift giving this year is entirely up to you, but please know that we don't expect gifts . . . If you have a free afternoon in December and feel like sharing a day of cookie baking or ornament crafting, please give us a holler as we'll be busy testing our craftiness the next couple months!! or something like that. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Love it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) I wouldn't want to tell others that I was deciding not to give them a gift and was planning on giving the money to a charity instead. But you may want to find out if the group -( if you have family/friends that will meet together )- would like to take up a collection for a specific charity.If they decide to participate in the charity giving also, then they can enjoy giving to the charity too. Also, you could ask the group if they would like to draw names instead of everyone buying gifts for each individual.If the group decides it is too late to make these changes for this year you could ask them if they would like to do it next year. Some may have already done some of their shopping. But I wouldn't send the note you mentioned to everyone. Edited November 2, 2009 by Miss Sherry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 My mom has been donating to a mission in North Dakota for years in lieu of x-mass presents. We always get a card that says a mass has been said in our name. I think it is dear. ******** I'm sick of the commercialization of x-mas. I'd much rather give my spoiled niece and nephew a card saying that a flock of geese had been donated in their names via Heifer Int'l then deal with their "and this is what we want THIS year" list that arrives every November. It makes me gag. a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abreakfromlife Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 As someone who lives in an area that gets to directly see the benefits of Fair Trade, I want to enthusiastically support this choice! It really is great and does help the families and communities involved. I would definitely do this. Oh how cool! I bought my sister a purse last year made in Guatemala...it was so pretty, I was wishing I had bought 2, lol. We did all FT gifts last year for extended family and the kids helped me wrap them...they thought the Guatemala one was really cool b/c we had just learned about the Mayans and so they were all excited about having something Mayan in their house, lol. That's so neat to hear that it really works......reading it on a website is one thing, but hearing from someone who is actually there is really cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Honestly? I think it's awesome and I'm envious that they have the nerve to step out and do that even knowing that others won't like it. Operation Christmas Child is one charity we are doing this year. There is another one my mil gave me and I've heard of here also where you can buy chickens or goats or other farm animals for a family in another country. I've always been intrigued by that one. I've not read the posts, so someone else may have recommended something. Angel Tree is another one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I agree---many people are DONE Christmas shopping already. For NEXT year though, polished up, this is a great idea. Maybe you could get with family and do an experience gift type thing--bowling and pizza, etc. with everyone chipping in and then give the rest to charity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usetoschool Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 We did this a few years ago. But we were very careful to say, just for us, we have enough things, there really isn't any "thing" we want or need this year and want to do something different. My family hears me harping about having too much stuff all the time, though, so it wasn't really that much of a problem. I talked to all of my family individually and explained, didn't try to change their holiday, just whatever they were planning to send us, if they would just make a donation to this charity (it was a woman who is teaching music to children of war in Kosovo) instead of sending us a gift. It was also something we had a kind of family connection to so they could all feel good about donating to it, I hoped. I wouldn't pick my pet charity and tell people to donate to it if it wasn't meaningful for them. And we still did some small gifts and remembrances anyway just to be sociable and friendly. Just make sure it is about your family and this is what you are going to do and if your extended family wants to participate, great, if not, no judgments, just do what you would normally do with them and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I don't know if I'd do that. I might suggest that we're open to donation in lieu of gifts but never go so far as to ask people not to give presents. Some people love expressing themselves through gifts and if you send any signals that you don't want/appreciate them, that could be really hurtful. Trust me, I grew up with a dad who, out of the misplaced goodness of his heart, was horribly hard to give a gift too. It wasn't pleasant for those of us trying to give him something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in IL Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 My mom is in "clean out the house, because I'll die and I don't want you to have to get rid of clutter" mode. Perhaps that is why they are asking for donations rather than presents. I have a dear sister who is constantly buying for her. She will take my other sister and myself aside and say - "I just don't want any more STUFF." She has all she wants and doesn't want anything to sit around and clean around. Just an idea for those who are frustrated by people who don't want gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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