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redheadeddaughter

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14 Good

About redheadeddaughter

  • Rank
    Hive Mind Level 2 Worker: Nurse Bee

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  • Biography
    Wife of 1, Mother of 2 precious little ones.
  • Location
    West Coast
  • Interests
    Sewing, Writing, Reading, Cookoing.
  • Occupation
    Mama
  1. Interesting thread. I believed that playing with neighborhood kids was a part of the "All-American" lifestyle and strongly desired it for my kids. After all, I homeschool and want/need that interaction for my children more than your average "school" mom who has the social stuff somewhat pre-programmed for them. So I was looking forward to it. I've always told my kids that there are fabulous kids everywhere who school in different ways (public, private, tutors, homeschool) and we should never judge by those labels. I thought it would be good to expose my kids to others who led different lifestyles. Until we relocated and I found myself in the same position as the OP. It was a nightmare. What turned into a once a day occurrence became a constant annoyance. It was nearly impossible to school. We had to have the blinds closed all the time because the kids would peek through the windows if we didn't come to the door. Screaming and banging was the norm (When did this behavior become so prevalent?!) The language that came out of these very young children's mouths was not repeatable. Disgusting jokes. And constant reference to extremely violent video games and pornography. Ages 5 & 7. The parents were just very very permissive. This was an upscale location that was famed for its great public schools. Not at all what I remember when I was a kid. I started to dread the moment they would come back from school (12 noon for the 5 year old) and then had to supervise every second they spent playing on my front patio and then do lots of fence mending with my own children after dinner. It was a nightmare. I remember telling my husband at the time that I could never continue to homeschool in that environment. We have slightly older children as well, so there is quite a bit we need to cover on a daily basis. It was so hostile to the gentle learning I wanted to implement. I planned nature studies and art projects and all sorts of fun things for our afternoons that we could never do because we couldn't go outside without being assaulted by these children. And it was a verbal assault. I cringed every time they spoke. They never listened to anything I said. I can only imagine what kind of home environment they must have had. The influence on my own children was terrible. The "salt and light" argument failed miserably in this case. They are children, and wanted to be like the other children I allowed into their lives. I learned a hard lesson that summer. I will never again be so careless. I would love to embrace needy, neglected children into our home, but the cost to my own children is not a price I am willing to pay. Maybe once they are older and their character more firmly formed I can reconsider this mentality? Maybe a better mama could have taken those neighbor kids and folded them into their own routine and effectively ministered to them within their homes and families? But it backfired big time for me. I should have listened to my own mother. ;) No doubt our experience was extreme. I started out as a free spirit homeschooling mama.... and have become alot more sheltering in my behavior since I began 6 years ago. I'm still saddened by it, but I do not regret the choice. We now screen all the families we interact with on a regular basis. Not based on religion or politics of course, but there is a basic "behavior" standard that I make a mental note of before I commit to regular social events. We moved after 3 months. I'm so very grateful we had that option. The one thing I would not do is call CPS. Unless I know with certainty that abuse is happening I truly believe those children would be much worse off with the CPS system. Even very poor parents are better than no parents at all imo. And there are some wonderful foster parents out there... but many who are not. So that is a phone call I would never make for a case like this. Just me though. I would, however, tell the mother (as kindly as I could) why I was limiting interaction in the hopes that she would become a more involved parent. No doubt she would not stay "a friend." But being a mother has always trumped friendship for me. And my closest friends feel the same way about their children and I respect them for it.
  2. You stole 238 cookies!

     

    Rules of the game: if you find this (anyone except the cookie thief themselves) then post here to say "I caught the cookie thief! BUT... someone else took 239 cookies from the cookie jar!" That way we know this player has been caught and we'll look on another profile. Next, copy this entire post and paste it onto someone else's profile (player must have more than 100 posts and must have been active in the last month.) Lastly, change the numbers so each increase by one. It will be easier to track that way. Please post your findings in the thread entitled SOMEONE STOLE A COOKIE! Forum Game. Have Fun!

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