Prayer/good thoughts request/health update

[Needleroozer]

Some of you may remember this post, and this post, about the weird bruising I had in late August. Well, it came back- Thursday night I was hit by this wave of exhaustion, just plum wore out- I crashed hard, but then couldn't sleep all night. While I was up around midnight, I noticed a new bunch of petechiae/purpura on my right arm. First batch had been on left arm.

 

I called to Dr.'s office, they got me in right away (which always freaks me out a bit- no waiting in the outer room, always seems to mean it's serious), and she wants to send me to a hematologist right away. I have an appt. late afternoon Tuesday. My Dude will be able to go with me. They/we want to see what is up before I fly to AL in two weeks.

 

On first glance, all my bloodwork seems normal- platelets fine, etc, which means it most likely isn't luekemia.

 

Please pray- I am really starting to be freaked out, and keep going on line to do research which just scares me more. The dr's attitude adds to that. She has no idea what is going on, but did mention the C word- wants to rule out any kind of cancer...........

 

Also, could you please pray for me in regards to family dynamics and family related stress- I won't go into details, but things are dicey here, and I am so stressed out. Being allergic to wine, chocolate, corn syrup, and anything else that tastes good and is comforting is making it hard for me to come up with stress coping skills, too.

[Nicole M]

Oh, honey! I'm so sorry!

 

:grouphug:

 

I'll be thinking about you, especially Tuesday afternoon.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: My prayers are with you.

[Barb_]

You are living my worst nightmare. Speedy answers and only good news for you.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Tree House Academy]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I do remember your previous posts. I know this has to be scary for you right now - and the added stress/restrictions do not help. When you feel this fear coming on, go to the scriptures or go to God. I find that, when I am most afraid (and being a hypochondriac with OCD, that is OFTEN), just starting to talk to God eases my fears.

 

Also, if you need something to take the edge off, I wouldn't hesitate to ask your dr. She can prescribe small doses of ativan or xanax so you can have it on hand if your nerves really take over. I couldn't do without mine, though I only rarely have to take it. It helps just knowing it is there and I am in control of deciding when things have gotten bad enough for me to need it.

 

HUGS

[Unicorn.]

:grouphug: Praying for you to find some answers, that it will be something minor, and that family dynamics improve. I hope things get better soon! :grouphug:

[Starr]

:grouphug: Praying for your health and peace of mind. :grouphug:

[Needleroozer]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I do remember your previous posts. I know this has to be scary for you right now - and the added stress/restrictions do not help. When you feel this fear coming on, go to the scriptures or go to God. I find that, when I am most afraid (and being a hypochondriac with OCD, that is OFTEN), just starting to talk to God eases my fears.

 

Also, if you need something to take the edge off, I wouldn't hesitate to ask your dr. She can prescribe small doses of ativan or xanax so you can have it on hand if your nerves really take over. I couldn't do without mine, though I only rarely have to take it. It helps just knowing it is there and I am in control of deciding when things have gotten bad enough for me to need it.

 

HUGS

 

The idea of small prescriptions sounds like a good one. Thanks for the idea.

[Needleroozer]

Thanks, friends. That helps. Anyone have specific ideas for how to not worry/stress/panic when there is nothing you can do about something over the weekend?

I plan to throw myself into shopping, bill paying, and art making. Hoping that helps.

Edited October 10, 2009 by Needleroozer
spelling typo as usual

[Tutor]

:grouphug: Praying for peace, answers, and solutions for you. :grouphug:

[Jane in NC]

Oh my, big hugs and lots of good vibes coming your way! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

And, in the meantime, I think you should make Art! And eat chocolate!

 

:grouphug:

Jane

[Needleroozer]

Oh my, big hugs and lots of good vibes coming your way! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

And, in the meantime, I think you should make Art! And eat chocolate!

 

:grouphug:

Jane

 

You'll have to eat the chocolate for me- I am severely allergic. That's one reason I was asking about stress-reducing tricks- I am allergic to most coping foods.

Am headed to the studio in a few minutes. I am working on a large piece, and want to have it done before I head to AL.

[Mad Jenny Flint]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Distraction is great. Also, find a great movie- something uplifting- if you like movies, or bowling or walking outdoors... the art sounds like a great thing to be doing, too.

 

Breathe. When it all gets to be too much, I do yoga. It is easy to find my mat even when I can't seem to do anything else, and it is distracting enough that I can get away from the bad thoughts- and when it isn't, it helps me cry. That can be good, too, sometimes. In the end, you will come back to gratitude, no matter what happens.

 

There is much good that comes out of these bad times. Meanwhile, I will be here hoping that it is nothing, and that you don't have to go through too much bad to get to the good things that come from it.

 

Take care.

[Needleroozer]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Distraction is great. Also, find a great movie- something uplifting- if you like movies, or bowling or walking outdoors... the art sounds like a great thing to be doing, too.

 

Breathe. When it all gets to be too much, I do yoga. It is easy to find my mat even when I can't seem to do anything else, and it is distracting enough that I can get away from the bad thoughts- and when it isn't, it helps me cry. That can be good, too, sometimes. In the end, you will come back to gratitude, no matter what happens.

 

There is much good that comes out of these bad times. Meanwhile, I will be here hoping that it is nothing, and that you don't have to go through too much bad to get to the good things that come from it.

 

Take care.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:Prayers:grouphug:

[Jennifer in MI]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Prayers ascending.

[CactusPair]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

please keep us posted. will hold you in thought.

[Chris in VA]

Lifting you up in prayer, LB!!!

 

Go make some AWESOME art--sling some paint around, squeeze the BeJesus out of some clay, make an "anxiety collage"--pictures from mags and words cut out that give you comfort or express your feelings.

 

And noodles and hot bread with butter are good comfy foods around here! Wish I could send you some!

[Needleroozer]

Think good thoughts for me around 4:15 today, if you would be so kind. I am headed to the hematologist then. My Dude doesn't think he will be able to join me, I am secretly hoping he will be done with work early enough to be able to get there.

 

I have done what all suggested here and done my best to focus on other stuff all weekend, but am still very concerned and feel like I just *know* something is wrong. Trying to ignore that 6th sense, but it is hard. I hope I am mistaken, I really do.

 

Please pray (good thoughts) for me to be able to successfully advocate for myself today, Dude or no Dude, and also for the Dude to be able to join me at the appt. after all. I am hoping for no panic attacks in the parking garage this time, but if I do, I will call someone- promise.

 

I will also write a list of my concerns/symptoms before I go.

 

I have to work from 2 to 3:15, and then will be headed to the appt at 4:15. Thanks for your support, and for not making me wrong for being freaked out. When did I become such a nervous nellie??

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:Prayers:grouphug:

 

Think good thoughts for me around 4:15 today, if you would be so kind. I am headed to the hematologist then. My Dude doesn't think he will be able to join me, I am secretly hoping he will be done with work early enough to be able to get there.

 

I have done what all suggested here and done my best to focus on other stuff all weekend, but am still very concerned and feel like I just *know* something is wrong. Trying to ignore that 6th sense, but it is hard. I hope I am mistaken, I really do.

 

Please pray (good thoughts) for me to be able to successfully advocate for myself today, Dude or no Dude, and also for the Dude to be able to join me at the appt. after all. I am hoping for no panic attacks in the parking garage this time, but if I do, I will call someone- promise.

 

I will also write a list of my concerns/symptoms before I go.

 

I have to work from 2 to 3:15, and then will be headed to the appt at 4:15. Thanks for your support, and for not making me wrong for being freaked out. When did I become such a nervous nellie??

[LizzyBee]

:grouphug: Praying for you. Please post an update when you can.

[Needleroozer]

Hey all,

Good news: We have ruled out lymphoma and luekemia- all my blood work is within normal range- platelets, white blood cells, etc. all good.

 

Bad news: He has no idea- called the bruising weird, but doesn't have any idea what it could be. Ended up just short of saying it was in my head. Sigh. Insisted that I bumped something and didn't know it. Then had the gall to suggest that I was getting old and my skin was going to get thin like paper, causing me to bruise easily. At the end, I swear he was just guessing.

 

A- I am 44. Not old.

B- this is not regular old bruising like you get on your legs from bumping something.

C. The purpura/petechiae (however you spell it) are on the inside/underneath my arm, where the only thing they could bump is a soft booKie.

 

He told me not to call him unless it happened again and was significantly worse/larger.

 

My regular doctor is not going to be satisfied with this (the Dude sure isn't), I don't think- she was quite concerned. I will work with her more, and will also be seeing a nutritionist and an ND. But for now, I will just watch it, and will work on building up strength in my core/trunk/arms.

 

That is all I know for now- my head is spinning, and I am plum tuckered out. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts- the Dude and I still feel like there is something going on with my immune system, but for now, this will have to do. Any other thoughts as to future things to look for or anything like that are still appreciated.

[Colleen]

Hey, friend. I'm not on the up and up here and just caught this. It's such a bummer to be dealing with health junk and hearing, for the most part, that you're imagining it and/or bringing it on yourself. Blah. Might you be able to go to a reputable naturopath? Hugs to you, (((LB))).

[Lovedtodeath]

You'll have to eat the chocolate for me- I am severely allergic. That's one reason I was asking about stress-reducing tricks- I am allergic to most coping foods.

Am headed to the studio in a few minutes. I am working on a large piece, and want to have it done before I head to AL.

Work on your post count. That's what I do.:tongue_smilie:

 

I am so sorry that you aren't feeling well and you don't know what is going on.:grouphug: Yes... see an ND. Electrodermal screening has been so good for me and my friends.

[KidsHappen]

Have they checked you iron levels? Anemia can cause easy bruising. I have always bruised way too easily. Like if you press on my skin too hard with you thumb it leaves a bruise. I have always been this way and all of my dr. have said that they can find nothing abnormal that would cause this. They have said it is just normal for me. Unfortunately, it leaves me looking like an abuse victim because I am also terribly clumsy and have a habit of bumping and running into things. I hope you get some answers soon and stress levels improve. :grouphug:

[Vida Winter]

LB, :grouphug: I will be praying for you. Please keep us updated.

 

Dana

[Barb_]

Hey all,

Good news: We have ruled out lymphoma and luekemia- all my blood work is within normal range- platelets, white blood cells, etc. all good.

 

Bad news: He has no idea- called the bruising weird, but doesn't have any idea what it could be. Ended up just short of saying it was in my head. Sigh. Insisted that I bumped something and didn't know it. Then had the gall to suggest that I was getting old and my skin was going to get thin like paper, causing me to bruise easily. At the end, I swear he was just guessing.

 

A- I am 44. Not old.

B- this is not regular old bruising like you get on your legs from bumping something.

C. The purpura/petechiae (however you spell it) are on the inside/underneath my arm, where the only thing they could bump is a soft booKie.

 

He told me not to call him unless it happened again and was significantly worse/larger.

 

My regular doctor is not going to be satisfied with this (the Dude sure isn't), I don't think- she was quite concerned. I will work with her more, and will also be seeing a nutritionist and an ND. But for now, I will just watch it, and will work on building up strength in my core/trunk/arms.

 

That is all I know for now- my head is spinning, and I am plum tuckered out. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts- the Dude and I still feel like there is something going on with my immune system, but for now, this will have to do. Any other thoughts as to future things to look for or anything like that are still appreciated.

 

You know? I'd actually forgotten all about this because it happened in my early 20's, but I had a similar experience. 2 different huge hematoma-style bruises 3-4 inches in diameter popping up out of nowhere. Although I blithely dismissed any possibility of illness (I was 20 and going to live forever, doncha know?), I was working for a home health care agency and my boss, who was also a nurse, wigged out when she saw one of them. She did a blood draw, tested all my levels, and came back with nothing. I never did figure out why it happened.

 

Weird.

 

Barb

[WiseOwlKnits]

Have you looked into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? It can cause unexplained bruising like you're describing. Here's the first thing I saw when I googled...

 

I hope they figure it out and it's easily curable.

[tricia]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[WTMCassandra]

((((((((LB))))))))

 

I've been out of town and unplugged for five days, so I'm just now hearing about all of this. Ugggghhh! I'm sooooo sorry the hematologist blew you off. I mean, it's not like I want something to be seriously wrong, and I'm tickled that your counts are good, but for you to be left with no answers and feeling slightly crazy is just lousy. Really lousy.

[Mama Bear]

Hugs, dear lady LB.

 

:grouphug:

[justamouse]

Hugs and prayers to you.

[kalanamak]

Bad news: He has no idea- called the bruising weird, but doesn't have any idea what it could be. Ended up just short of saying it was in my head. Sigh. Insisted that I bumped something and didn't know it. Then had the gall to suggest that I was getting old and my skin was going to get thin like paper, causing me to bruise easily. At the end, I swear he was just guessing.

 

 

Senile purpura. I love that phrase. I started at 50.

 

Cut to the chase and go to the UW. After a few years of dealing with vexing problems the consultants couldn't finger, I found my patients were best served there.

 

There is a psychogenic purpura. I believe it has a standard spelling (but forgive me if I'm wrong, it isn't something I'm up on) Gardner-Diamond purpura. Not "in your head" but thought to be "from your head". Stress does amazing things.

[Lovedtodeath]

There is a psychogenic purpura. I believe it has a standard spelling (but forgive me if I'm wrong, it isn't something I'm up on) Gardner-Diamond purpura. Not "in your head" but thought to be "from your head". Stress does amazing things.

http://www.tapping.com works well for psychogenic things.;)

[Needleroozer]

Y'all almost have me in tears with all your kindnesses- thanks so much for the prayers, good thoughts, and medical advice. I will follow up on the suggestions offered, but it feels good just to know all y'all are rooting for me.

Off to bed now, and loving you back,

LB

[Needleroozer]

Hey, friend. I'm not on the up and up here and just caught this. It's such a bummer to be dealing with health junk and hearing, for the most part, that you're imagining it and/or bringing it on yourself. Blah. Might you be able to go to a reputable naturopath? Hugs to you, (((LB))).

 

Have a recommendation for a ND from Jean in Newcastle, and for a nutritionist from Patty Johanna, and will pursue both of those once home from Dy's.

 

Thanks for the hugs, I am doing my best to hang in. Hope you are well, too.

[Needleroozer]

((((((((LB))))))))

 

I've been out of town and unplugged for five days, so I'm just now hearing about all of this. Ugggghhh! I'm sooooo sorry the hematologist blew you off. I mean, it's not like I want something to be seriously wrong, and I'm tickled that your counts are good, but for you to be left with no answers and feeling slightly crazy is just lousy. Really lousy.

 

I know- I sorta felt bad even griping a little bit about him, because after all, not having luekemia or lymphoma is such a HUGE relief! Really, I am feeling very grateful for that right now, but yeah, it still feels like something is wrong, and I am still worried and yes, feeling more than slightly crazy, sigh.

Thanks for the hugs, and I hope things are all right for you too.

[Tree House Academy]

So glad you have ruled out the very scary stuff. These ladies have given you wonderful paths to explore. I hope you get to the bottom of your issues very soon!

[Needleroozer]

Senile purpura. I love that phrase. I started at 50.

 

Cut to the chase and go to the UW. After a few years of dealing with vexing problems the consultants couldn't finger, I found my patients were best served there.

 

There is a psychogenic purpura. I believe it has a standard spelling (but forgive me if I'm wrong, it isn't something I'm up on) Gardner-Diamond purpura. Not "in your head" but thought to be "from your head". Stress does amazing things.

 

For real? That is almost funny. Thanks for the info- I will look at that, and I may ask my dr. for a referral to the UW- I have decided I am going to call her tomorrow and just check in with her as to how I think the appt. with the hematologist went, and what she might suggest next.

[Needleroozer]

Have they checked you iron levels? Anemia can cause easy bruising. I have always bruised way too easily. Like if you press on my skin too hard with you thumb it leaves a bruise. I have always been this way and all of my dr. have said that they can find nothing abnormal that would cause this. They have said it is just normal for me. Unfortunately, it leaves me looking like an abuse victim because I am also terribly clumsy and have a habit of bumping and running into things. I hope you get some answers soon and stress levels improve. :grouphug:

 

Iron levels fine- have never been anemic ever before. I do bruise very easily normally.

Thanks, and I, too, hope this stress level gets better soon- I am seriously worried about dropping dead from a heart attack, sigh.

[WTMCassandra]

Have a recommendation for a ND from Jean in Newcastle, and for a nutritionist from Patty Johanna, and will pursue both of those once home from Dy's.

 

When do you leave for Dy's? That sounds like the best possible tonic anyone could prescribe! Hooray for your trip.

[Stacia]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[WTMCassandra]

I know- I sorta felt bad even griping a little bit about him, because after all, not having luekemia or lymphoma is such a HUGE relief! Really, I am feeling very grateful for that right now, but yeah, it still feels like something is wrong, and I am still worried and yes, feeling more than slightly crazy, sigh.

Thanks for the hugs, and I hope things are all right for you too.

 

I think it's never OK for a doctor to blow you off. Especially when I know the courage it took for you to go at all. It can be severely destabilizing. So no, I don't think you should feel bad/weird/crazy about his treatment, even though you don't have one of the two big Ls. The problem with emotional damage is that it can't be quantified, so people feel guilty about acknowledging it, but it is REAL. I'm so sorry he was like that. It was wrong of him. ((((LB))))

 

Things are mostly OK here. You are kind to think of us.