My 5 year old is going to drive me to the nuthouse with bedtime issues.

[ChristusG]

I. Am. Going. Crazy. My DD is 5 years old. We didn't have an official "bedtime" for her until she was a late 4 year old. I began trying to establish a routine for her because I needed some Mommy Time in the evenings and I knew she would need to get up in the mornings at a decent time to do kindergarten. But mostly because I wanted Mommy Time in the evenings LOL. So we've been doing this bedtime routine for about 5 months now.

 

I hate, abhor, detest bedtime around here.

 

At 8 o'clock we start getting ready for bed. Jammies on, chores done, bathroom, water, etc. As soon as I say the word "bedtime" around 8 o'clock, the horror begins. First it is the excuses....

 

I'm hungry!

I don't want to go to bed!

I'm playing with Sailor (her younger sister)!

We just started playing!

I never get to play with Sailor! (Ugh, you are with her ALLLL day long!)

I'm not tired!

I'm thirsty!

I dooooon't waaaaant tooooo goooo toooo beeeeed!

Groooooaaaaan, cry, grooooaaaaan some more.

Why do I have to go to bed?

When I grow up, I'm never going to make my kids go to bed!

 

Yes, I have heard it ALL.

 

I've tried letting her know ahead of time that bedtime is coming. Such as "You have 10 minutes before it is time to clean up and get ready for bed." Doesn't work. She still groans, complains, whines, and cries.

 

Then, we actually get to the routine part after chores, bathroom, jammies, and water. Usually, the routine is a disaster. We've tried doing this several different ways.

 

I've tried reading her a Bible story, praying with her, and leaving.

Then, I was tired of dealing with the main part of it, so DH began getting her into bed, reading her a Bible story, and praying with her. Then I would come in for 5 minutes of snuggle time. I set the timer for 5 minutes or else she would try and keep me in there for much longer. Well, when the timer goes off after 5 minutes, the crying and whining and complaining begins again.

 

So we end up leaving the room with a child who is crying and whining. Every. Single. Night. And then, it is not over yet. Sometimes she screams at the top of her lungs. Sometimes we'll hear her back there just mumbling to herself and complaining. Sometimes we'll hear her crying. She will call my name no less than 10 times. This REALLY ticks me off because she's cutting into my precious Mommy Time. And our house is not huge, so there's really no way to "escape" her cries and calls. Sometimes she gets out of bed and comes into the living room. Every time she gets up or calls to us, it is something unimportant. She tells me something she saw on a TV show that day, or she tells me something that she wants to do tomorrow. She's always thinking up something.

 

We've tried several reward systems for staying in bed and not making any noise. They worked for a week and then she told us she didn't want to do them anymore, she just wanted to call us and cry for us. We've tried just shutting the door to the bedroom. Then she shrieks like a banshee and I swear the neighbors are going to call the cops because they are going to think we are torturing her or something. We already let her sleep with the light on so she is not afraid.

 

I am at the freaking end of my rope. I dread bedtime every single night. Is there anything that anyone does that works? I will pretty much try anything!!! And the thing is.....she will NOT go to sleep. She will just lie there and lie there and lie there. Finally, after an hour she usually does grow quiet....but she is just lying there. She will lie in bed for over two hours. However, if I came to bed in there, she would fall immediately asleep.

 

UGGGHHH! Bedtime troubles have got to be the single most frustrating thing ever.

[ChristusG]

We did go through a phase where we let her listen to music to fall asleep. Maybe I should try that again. Or books on tape, like you mentioned. I just wonder whether listening to a story would actually help her fall asleep, or just give her more incentive to stay awake so she could hear all of the story LOL.

[Jen500]

My ds4 hates to go to bed. (Sorry, but your dd's list of excuses made me laugh...boy did they sound familiar)

I've noticed that my son falls asleep much faster if I take him outside to run around after dinner. At bedtime he also likes to listen to a relaxation tape for kids sometimes. I found one at Amazon, and some on iTunes.

[MamaT]

When my dc were little and we were hearing some of the same excuses you mentioned, we told them they were allowed to get out of bed ONE time - to ask for water, etc. Every other time they got out of bed, their bedtime was moved back 5 minutes the next night. It usually worked.

 

We did let them listen to music or stories on tape in bed though.

[BMW]

Instead of, or an alternative, rather, to the books on tape (and having her want to stay up to hear the end of the story) may be to have shorter story selections, followed by classical music (soothing selections).

 

I hope that you work through this. I have a 12 yob who will stay away for hours at bed time. I asked for help here. He now takes a melatonin, I pust on classical music and he will usually lay quietly. Thing is, he has adhd and will make noise and wiggle and stay up a very loooong time some nights! So, I get him up early. Any night that he is up after 10pm, I get him up extra early and I get him moving a lot in the afternoon.... since he is 12 and likes to sleep in the mornings, he is now motivated to rest at night... usually...

 

Best wishes!! It can be tough!

[melissel]

Would it help to start bedtime earlier? Many kids have a very specific sleep window, and if you miss it, there's no way to get them to sleep until the next window appears.

 

My DD4 falls asleep at 8:30, almost on the nose. All bedtime things need to be done, including reading, by 8:15 in order for that to work. If we miss the window, she's up for at least another hour. I will agree to lay in bed with her, but I'll only lay there and read my own book. She'll try to engage me, and I'll tell her that it's sleep time, and that I'm no longer talking, I love her, goodnight. Then she'll lay there, roll, talk to herself, fix her blankets, try to talk to me, kick her wall, walk her feet up the side of the daybed, play with her pillow...and at 8:30, she'll roll over and conk out. Then I get up and leave the room. I know that cuts into Mommy Time for you a little anyway, but maybe the slight compromise will save you all some trouble? Or is she the "give an inch, take a mile" kind of kid?

 

I feel your pain, though. My DD4 is that kind of determined kiddo. Reward systems mean nothing at all to her. It's all about the power! :001_huh:

 

Oh, and I forgot to say that I agree about the books and/or CDs. Music and audiobooks keep my DD7 up, but for a long time now, we've let her read herself to sleep when we were struggling with getting her to stay in bed. For us, they work better. But both options can be helpful! I also forgot to ask, how bright is her light? That could definitely make it hard for her brain to shut down. Maybe put a 7-watt bulb in her lamp?

Edited September 17, 2009 by melissel

[Emmy]

8pm to *start* the routine is late around here for a 5yo. My 5yo is IN bed at 7:30 and for the same reason as you - mama needs some sanity time. :)

 

It sounds as if you've tried everything....I guess what I'd do is just be hard core and say here it is - start your routine now and if you fuss you lose the story, and if you fuss more you lose the XYZ, etc. Once our kids are in bed they lose privileges for fussing or getting out of bed unnecessarily. Privileges being buddies (stuffed animals), their pillow, and yes I'll say - one time we took their pajamas away.....(don't call DCFS - please!). We only had to go that far the once though....it apparently made an impression. :p

 

I think it might be harder with one child vs. what we have going where we're putting a whole slew of them to bed at the same time. But anyway - that's how we do it.

[Kate in Arabia]

My two youngers share a bedroom. We have the typical bedtime routine, including me reading to them. At the end of that, if my 4 yr old is still awake, I'll get my own book and sit and read in there. She will usually go to sleep pretty quickly. If I leave them both awake in the room they won't sleep, dd starts pestering her brother. But if I keep the lights dim and just sit there and read my own things, they are quiet and she drops off pretty quickly.

[CalicoKat]

I. Am. Going. Crazy. My DD is 5 years old. We didn't have an official "bedtime" for her until she was a late 4 year old. I began trying to establish a routine for her because I needed some Mommy Time in the evenings and I knew she would need to get up in the mornings at a decent time to do kindergarten. But mostly because I wanted Mommy Time in the evenings LOL. So we've been doing this bedtime routine for about 5 months now.

 

I hate, abhor, detest bedtime around here.

 

At 8 o'clock we start getting ready for bed. Jammies on, chores done, bathroom, water, etc. As soon as I say the word "bedtime" around 8 o'clock, the horror begins. First it is the excuses....

 

I'm hungry!

I don't want to go to bed!

I'm playing with Sailor (her younger sister)!

We just started playing!

I never get to play with Sailor! (Ugh, you are with her ALLLL day long!)

I'm not tired!

I'm thirsty!

I dooooon't waaaaant tooooo goooo toooo beeeeed!

Groooooaaaaan, cry, grooooaaaaan some more.

Why do I have to go to bed?

When I grow up, I'm never going to make my kids go to bed!

 

Yes, I have heard it ALL.

 

I've tried letting her know ahead of time that bedtime is coming. Such as "You have 10 minutes before it is time to clean up and get ready for bed." Doesn't work. She still groans, complains, whines, and cries.

 

Then, we actually get to the routine part after chores, bathroom, jammies, and water. Usually, the routine is a disaster. We've tried doing this several different ways.

 

I've tried reading her a Bible story, praying with her, and leaving.

Then, I was tired of dealing with the main part of it, so DH began getting her into bed, reading her a Bible story, and praying with her. Then I would come in for 5 minutes of snuggle time. I set the timer for 5 minutes or else she would try and keep me in there for much longer. Well, when the timer goes off after 5 minutes, the crying and whining and complaining begins again.

 

So we end up leaving the room with a child who is crying and whining. Every. Single. Night. And then, it is not over yet. Sometimes she screams at the top of her lungs. Sometimes we'll hear her back there just mumbling to herself and complaining. Sometimes we'll hear her crying. She will call my name no less than 10 times. This REALLY ticks me off because she's cutting into my precious Mommy Time. And our house is not huge, so there's really no way to "escape" her cries and calls. Sometimes she gets out of bed and comes into the living room. Every time she gets up or calls to us, it is something unimportant. She tells me something she saw on a TV show that day, or she tells me something that she wants to do tomorrow. She's always thinking up something.

 

We've tried several reward systems for staying in bed and not making any noise. They worked for a week and then she told us she didn't want to do them anymore, she just wanted to call us and cry for us. We've tried just shutting the door to the bedroom. Then she shrieks like a banshee and I swear the neighbors are going to call the cops because they are going to think we are torturing her or something. We already let her sleep with the light on so she is not afraid.

 

I am at the freaking end of my rope. I dread bedtime every single night. Is there anything that anyone does that works? I will pretty much try anything!!! And the thing is.....she will NOT go to sleep. She will just lie there and lie there and lie there. Finally, after an hour she usually does grow quiet....but she is just lying there. She will lie in bed for over two hours. However, if I came to bed in there, she would fall immediately asleep.

 

UGGGHHH! Bedtime troubles have got to be the single most frustrating thing ever.

Consistency. sit her down and let her know that all services stop at bedtime. No if, ands, or buts. Fini.

 

Any more of that will be considered arguing and consequences will swiftly follow.

 

Here's the hard part -- you have to be utterly solid and not give in, no matter what. :D

 

I have a persuasive 3 and it's taken me a while to figure out that my wavering was my own worst enemy. But I finally sat down and calmly explained the rules just to be sure I hadn't communicated anything else.

 

It's better here. Calm. Consistency. Not perfect, but I can enjoy some time in the evening by myself now.

 

I too detest bedtimes. It is not the rosy bedtimes story, hug, and a kiss thing I'd envisioned when I signed on for this tour of parenthood. Sigh, reality.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Christy,

 

A couple thoughts....

 

* Start the bedtime routine EARLY. If you want her in bed at 8:30, then the bedtime routine is done at SEVEN. That way most of the things that need to be done is already done.

 

* A LOT of parents won't listen, but a LOT of little kids need to be in bed by 7 or 7:30. They get a second wind and it's all downhill from there. EVERY parent who has actually listened to this advice has been pleasantly surprised with how well it works.

 

* IGNORE all the carrying on. Simply say "bedtime" if they come out and take them back to bed. Otherwise, IGNORE anything else. If they get NO response, they'll quit eventually. Parents who go in and fuss or plead or even spank are prolonging the problem (except with fairly easy kids who will try to avoid spanking).

 

* Consequence: However long you fuss tonight is how much earlier you'll go to bed tomorrow because obviously your bedtime is too late.

 

* Built-in POSITIVE consequence: Start bedtime at a VERY early time and let her EARN a later bedtime. If she can go to bed without carrying on at 7pm for two weeks, her bedtime will move up to 7:10...and so on.

 

I just read a post on another board that gave a list of classical music to find online and record that has just the right waves/rhythm/speed. If you'd like, I can find the list and post it. Books on tape would be good so she's more actively listening especially if she's REALLY not tired. However, I had a non-sleeper who didn't do any of that. She had the greatest imagination because she'd lie there with her imaginary friends, tell stories, etc. She was expected to BEHAVE and to be in bed. That is NOT an unreasonable expectation. There is NOTHING wrong with a kiddo lying in bed.

[myfunnybunch]

I just wonder whether listening to a story would actually help her fall asleep, or just give her more incentive to stay awake so she could hear all of the story LOL.

 

For my guys, music and stories provide a distraction from "I'm hungry/thirsty/tired/bored/scared/not tired/my foot hurts/my toes are itchy/the closet door is open....." Especially if the music or story is a familiar favorite. And quite frankly, I don't care if they do stay awake as long as they are quiet. :)

 

Cat

[scubamama]

I have a strong willed and wily 7yob. As soonas we moved this lil dude out of his crib at 18 months to make room for the next one the circus began! He's still a crafty little bugger, but age does improve things.

My suggestions is kind of mean...don't yell at me too much ;)

When he would whine/cry/carryon/come out/fill in the blank I would show him on a big clock that I was moving his bedtime back 15 minutes for each incident. Now, this was after the potty, snack, story, prayer, cuddle that we did as a regular routine. It took about a week, but having to go to bed after dinner really fixed him! I started this when he was about 4 or 4 1/2. I know it sounds mean, but I was very emotionless about it - I would refuse his request, steer him in to bed and move the clock hands back while he watched. He screamed!!!! Good thing we lived in the country then :) No one could hear us! I never spanked him or that sort of thing, I just was really consistent - and that's so hard for me! Now it's all kids in bed by 8 and they stay put and that's that. At least one battle in my life is over...until we move the 3 yo out of the crib in a month or so :tongue_smilie:

 

I hope it helps, hang in there. I just wrote a post about needing quiet time today. I hear you loud and clear, sister!

 

Michele

[ncmomo3]

Christy,

 

A couple thoughts....

 

* Start the bedtime routine EARLY. If you want her in bed at 8:30, then the bedtime routine is done at SEVEN. That way most of the things that need to be done is already done.

 

* A LOT of parents won't listen, but a LOT of little kids need to be in bed by 7 or 7:30. They get a second wind and it's all downhill from there. EVERY parent who has actually listened to this advice has been pleasantly surprised with how well it works.

 

* IGNORE all the carrying on. Simply say "bedtime" if they come out and take them back to bed. Otherwise, IGNORE anything else. If they get NO response, they'll quit eventually. Parents who go in and fuss or plead or even spank are prolonging the problem (except with fairly easy kids who will try to avoid spanking).

 

* Consequence: However long you fuss tonight is how much earlier you'll go to bed tomorrow because obviously your bedtime is too late.

 

* Built-in POSITIVE consequence: Start bedtime at a VERY early time and let her EARN a later bedtime. If she can go to bed without carrying on at 7pm for two weeks, her bedtime will move up to 7:10...and so on.

 

I just read a post on another board that gave a list of classical music to find online and record that has just the right waves/rhythm/speed. If you'd like, I can find the list and post it. Books on tape would be good so she's more actively listening especially if she's REALLY not tired. However, I had a non-sleeper who didn't do any of that. She had the greatest imagination because she'd lie there with her imaginary friends, tell stories, etc. She was expected to BEHAVE and to be in bed. That is NOT an unreasonable expectation. There is NOTHING wrong with a kiddo lying in bed.

:iagree: with all of this, particularly the ignoring one. It is VERY hard to do, but speaking as one with a child that lives for arguement/debate, that is an invaluable tool.

[littlebug42]

Our bedtime routine is much the same as it has been since my babes were little. It is a little bit later now that the girls have gotten older but we once upon a time it all began at 7 PM with lights out at 8. Now we do pajamas, brush teeth, bed at 8 PM. They may read quietly in their rooms until 9 at which time we read a story, turn on music or stories (I have one that listens to each) and lights out. Occasionally with our 5 year old she still wants to get out of bed several times but we always send her right back with no wavering. The routine is the same and very rarely do we vary. On a rare occasion, they can stay up later and they get to stay up later at Nana's house. Good luck with your little one. Whatever you determine, I would get the little one on as much of the same schedule as you can now as well. It makes it all much easier here.

[Cera]

Consistency is the key. Decide on the rules and then don't waver at all. It may take a week or two during which things will get worse before geting better but eventually she will understand.

 

My oldest is about to turn 5 and we just cracked down on bedtime about 6 months ago. At 7pm we head upstairs to brush teeth and hair, wash faces and get the girls dressed for bed. They both pick books and we read until 8. At 8 on the dot we stop reading (so the more fussing about getting ready the less reading). Everybody gets a hug and kiss and the lights go off/night light on. We allow a fan for white noise so they can't hear us and wonder what they are missing but no music or stories since it keeps them up. After 8 I expect kids to be in bed unless there is blood or fire. The exception is if they have a ticket. Each gets two tickets each night to use as they see fit, bathroom trips, extra hugs, whatever. If they get up after the tickets are gone the door gets shut and then they start losing things (and no matter what they say they don't have to go to the bathroom a third time in 20 minutes though they did try to convince me for a while). Any tickets left over on Saturday morning can be traded in for prizes (stay up an extra hour, go on an excursion, etc).

 

The only exception is for sick kids and it has worked incredibly well. It took almost a month to get to the point where they want to save tickets and rarely get up but it was well worth it.

[mom2hunangirls]

Christy,

 

A couple thoughts....

 

* Start the bedtime routine EARLY. If you want her in bed at 8:30, then the bedtime routine is done at SEVEN. That way most of the things that need to be done is already done.

 

* A LOT of parents won't listen, but a LOT of little kids need to be in bed by 7 or 7:30. They get a second wind and it's all downhill from there. EVERY parent who has actually listened to this advice has been pleasantly surprised with how well it works.

 

* IGNORE all the carrying on. Simply say "bedtime" if they come out and take them back to bed. Otherwise, IGNORE anything else. If they get NO response, they'll quit eventually. Parents who go in and fuss or plead or even spank are prolonging the problem (except with fairly easy kids who will try to avoid spanking).

 

* Consequence: However long you fuss tonight is how much earlier you'll go to bed tomorrow because obviously your bedtime is too late.

 

* Built-in POSITIVE consequence: Start bedtime at a VERY early time and let her EARN a later bedtime. If she can go to bed without carrying on at 7pm for two weeks, her bedtime will move up to 7:10...and so on.

 

I just read a post on another board that gave a list of classical music to find online and record that has just the right waves/rhythm/speed. If you'd like, I can find the list and post it. Books on tape would be good so she's more actively listening especially if she's REALLY not tired. However, I had a non-sleeper who didn't do any of that. She had the greatest imagination because she'd lie there with her imaginary friends, tell stories, etc. She was expected to BEHAVE and to be in bed. That is NOT an unreasonable expectation. There is NOTHING wrong with a kiddo lying in bed.

 

:iagree: I'm in this camp too. Mine got my drift when she was sent to bed at 545pm one night. The night leading up to that was not pretty. But she buttoned up the next night!!!

She's pretty good now (although I have to admit I think she was pretty easy as I watch her younger sister get older)... only rarely do we have to resort back to sliding bedtime back.

She just turned 6; and is ready for bed by 730. If she napped that day she stays up until 8. If she decides not to nap she goes to bed at 730.

And she does listen to music and books on tape. Usually her choice. It does keep her up sometimes (especially if she picks that action packed VBS cd! grrrrr), but I'll go in at 9 and turn the music/book off whether she's asleep or not.

[Tangerine]

Christy,

 

A couple thoughts....

 

* Start the bedtime routine EARLY. If you want her in bed at 8:30, then the bedtime routine is done at SEVEN. That way most of the things that need to be done is already done.

 

 

 

:iagree: We have "upstairs time" starting at 6, an entire hour before bathtime. We spend time together (we try to make it relatively calm time), chat, read. Once upstairs time comes, it is an indicator to them that bedtime is approaching, but they still have lots of time to adjust. Plus they get some good solid attention. I think having that right before bed helps them with the feeling they are missing something by going to bed.

[Aggie]

Is she generally an obedient child? Does she do this every time you ask her to do anything? Or just at bedtime?

 

Along with the other great suggestions, why don't you have her practice bedtime early in the day? Like a pp said, tell her exactly what you expect, model it for her, then let her practice a couple of times in the middle of the afternoon. Make it a game.

 

When our dc were 3-4, we made a *huge* deal out of reading in bed before lights out. Then we used that privilege to encourage them to follow the bedtime routine. "If you don't stay in bed tonight, tomorrow night you won't be able to read before you go to sleep." Worked like a charm. :)

 

HTH!

[woolybear]

Sounds like a lot of good ideas here. One thing that has surprisingly made a difference at our house--both my boys have a bedtime song. With one I just started this a few months ago and the other just last week. The 9 yo literally yawns EVERY time I sing this song. It is so cute. It clearly is his cue to wind down. The 6 yo sings the song with me. Sometimes he wants to do this a few times. It's not always a perfect ending to the day, but it is generally way better, easier, calmer than it used to be with him. I hadn't planned this, so I was surprised myself when I saw how much this helped.

 

Woolybear

[eternalknot]

 

When I grow up, I'm never going to make my kids go to bed!

 

:lol: Write that one down in the baby book to reference back to when you become the grandmother to a child who refuses to go to bed.

 

Why do you think she wants someone to snuggle with her until she falls asleep? Is this just a new phase for her, or has she always fought bedtime?

 

This REALLY ticks me off because she's cutting into my precious Mommy Time. And our house is not huge, so there's really no way to "escape" her cries and calls.

 

THIS I understand well. I'm a single mom and am very protective of the time I carve out for myself. I need it. It's not a want, it's a need. I assume this to be true for all other moms, too. And when that time is cut into, resentment and frustration spiral inappropriately - especially when it's at the end of a long day and I'm all "gived" out. That said, my disclaimer is that I do sleep with my kids. In general I subscribe to the "what works for the family" philosophy moreso than the "parents set the rules, children obey them - no questions asked" school of thought. So YMMV, but -

 

I will pretty much try anything!!!

However, if I came to bed in there, she would fall immediately asleep.

 

Well, it sounds like the one thing you tried that WORKED (for her) doesn't work for YOU -- going to bed in there until she falls asleep. Is there a way you can turn it from an either/or situation into something that might work better for BOTH of you and at least partially addresses your differing needs?

 

I sleep with my kids, but I don't go to bed when they do. No way, nighttime is MY time. I go to school so I need that time for studies of my own. But I do lay with them - usually until they fall asleep, but not always. And even my 3 year old understands that some nights I can but some nights I just have too much to do (esp if she takes too long to fall asleep). Some nights I had so much to catch up on - housekeeping, schoolwork, kids' schoolwork, work work, volunteer stuff - that it felt like just onemorething I had to do (lay with her until she fell asleep) but I quickly learned that it was better for ALL of us if I just invested that 10-30 minutes to lay with her until she was asleep than it was to spend the next few hours listening to her scream for me.

 

Now, she still nurses to sleep but this is what we do for bed. We do the 10 minute nursing, and then I stay with her for 30 minutes. Almost always she's asleep before the 10 minutes of nursing are done, but sometimes she isn't. She still knows that at the end of 30 minutes (indicated by a classical music CD playing softly in the background) I need to get up to finish my responsibilities. The first few times she freaked out, so I promised to check back in on her every 10 minutes (and I re-set the CD). And I did. It wasn't the best "me time" but again - those first trial runs were an investment in the bigger picture. It didn't take long for her to adjust to the new routine.

 

Now we have a beautiful system that works for both of us. We both know what to expect, and we're both getting our needs respected (to some degree). And sometimes it's more to my degree, some nights it's more to her degree - it's not set in stone, we go with the flow. On the now rare night she hasn't fallen asleep before the 30 minutes are up, I'll come to bed 3-4 hours later to find her still awake. Just laying there quietly. Within two minutes of me getting next to her, she's out. I think she just needs that physical proximity to calm her to the point she can physically fall asleep.

 

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find SOMETHING that makes bedtime a better time for all of y'all.

[Dawn in OH]

We did go through a phase where we let her listen to music to fall asleep. Maybe I should try that again. Or books on tape, like you mentioned. I just wonder whether listening to a story would actually help her fall asleep, or just give her more incentive to stay awake so she could hear all of the story LOL.

 

This is my 8 year old son.

 

He's never been one for going to bed. EVER. As an infant, he would wake up at 10:00 PM and be ready to stay up for the night.

 

I got him audio books a few years ago when he couldn't yet read. I had hoped he would fall asleep each night listening to his story. Oh no! This kid works hard to stay up late and listen to the entire story.

 

I'm gradually putting him to be earlier and earlier now to make up for listening to stories.

 

I've learned my lesson. I established a good bedtime routine and consistent bedtime for my 2 year old about 6 months ago.

[mirth]

This is my answer to a lot of things. Assuming she likes pools, is there a way you can take her swimming for 4-5 nights in a row? If you make sure she eats a good dinner before going, and let her swim her little heart out, have a snack prepared in the car or walk back, she will be tired by the time you get home. This worked with my kids. We did the washing up at the gym. There was always such a sense of calm and post-exhilaration exhaustion for my kids by the time they got home. Shampooed hair. Fresh clothes and a full tummy. Time for bed! After about a week of this, it sort of killed off their death by a 1000 cuts approach to bedtime. And it has never returned.

 

It would really take some little girl muscle to go thru the same whining routine after a big evening at the pool.

[OrganicAnn]

I have read every Getting kids to Sleep book there is. This is what I learned. None of the books work for some kids - namely mine.

 

Kids have a natural time to sleep. No matter when you want them go to sleep, they will go to sleep in their own time. So I can do the prefect night time sleep technique, but if my DD is not ready to sleep it doesn't matter.

 

My DD is somewhat sensitive to light. We have blackout curtains to help keep the light out especially in the summer.

 

The best way to get them to bed earlier is to wake them up earlier.

 

You can't decide on when they go to sleep, but you can decide on how and what they do in the time before they go to sleep. We never have tv on after dinner. My DD has no toys in her room (that doesn't include stuffed animals). We have music that is soothing that she can pick or not pick.

 

We decided not to do books on tape because they get her revved up. We do read books.

 

ETA: I get tired of the idea - maybe you need to put them to bed even earlier or maybe they need more sleep. Some kids need less sleep and I have one of them. We tried it all and she doesn't need more sleep. She hasn't had a nap since she was 2. She goes to sleep about the same time no matter what I do (except wake her up earlier).

Edited September 18, 2009 by OrganicAnn

[coralloyd]

Maybe she is not getting enough sleep. http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-child-need_64915.bc

 

When they don't have enough, it can produce insomnia. Does she get a nap? I have heard many people say " If I give them a nap they won't sleep at night." I think if you give it a little time, you'll find the opposite.