Do you ever get unexpectedly ID'd as a homeschooler?

[ElizabethB]

Interestingly, I've had this happen twice since we've lived here in the LA area, but no one ever asked us if we homeschooled in Arkansas. (And, in Arkansas, we were out often during the day, but my daughter is short and looks about 5.)

 

The first time was a hospital visit due to the 4 year old being a boy (5 or 6 stitches.) I was surprised to be asked if we homeschooled, I don't even own a denim jumper and the kids were wearing flip flops and tie-dye! But, then I remembered that we had been playing "Go to the dump" while waiting and I think we also mentioned that we don't have a TV.

 

Then, yesterday at the church library the librarian asked if I homeschooled! I had chosen most of the books for myself, but added in one read aloud that looked fun and a guide to things to do with kids in the area, just as light summer things to do--not even for homeschool purposes! After looking through my books choices, I can see that they were homeschooly selections, and I learned that the librarians at our church homeschool, but I was surprised at first. (It's a great library for how small it is.)

 

BTW, my Mother-in-Law owns several denim jumpers, maybe that's why she's so supportive of our homeschooling!

Edited August 24, 2009 by ElizabethB

[Jill- OK]

...someone blinking in shock, and saying, "You homeschool?!" in an incredulous voice, when they found out I did.

 

I never asked her to clarify, lol, because I'm not sure I would want to know why it's so surprising. :001_smile:

[Hillary in KS]

This happened to us last summer.

 

We lived very close to the public library. As we were walking home, a woman stopped her car in the middle of the street and called out her window, "Excuse me? Are you homeschoolers?"

 

I think we'd lived here about 2 days when that happened. Here's the blog entry:

 

I Think It's A Compliment, But....

[5KidzRUs]

If I had a dollar for every time someone commented on us homeschooling ... I absolutely can not stand when they tell me they do not have the patience to be with their children all day - argh! Maybe it is true - if it is, then how sad and maybe their kids might be better off in the 'village'. :lol:

Really, I think it takes more patience dealing with the attitudes they learn in the PS system. One of my twins went to private school last year and I am still detoxing him - he became so self-centered and a bit snobby.

[Ellyndria]

Actually, yeah. It was last summer, when DS was 3, and while I had been doing a few things here and there with him and reading up on homeschooling, I didn't consider us homeschoolers yet, since he was only three years old.

 

It was at the county fair, in the expo building, and we had sat down in the nice air conditioning (it was terribly hot outside) to watch a demonstration for some cookware. We were the first to sit down, and a couple minutes later, the lady looks at me and asks, "Do you homeschool?" I was shocked and baffled. I should have asked why she thought that, but I didn't. I think I replied something like, "Not yet, thinking about it though..." I was wearing jeans, sandals, and probably some kind of t-shirt top, nothing terribly different from any other person walking around there. I still wonder why she asked that though!

[Aggie]

...someone blinking in shock, and saying, "You homeschool?!" in an incredulous voice, when they found out I did.

 

 

 

:lol::lol:

 

When we were at 6 Flags this summer, there was a mom and her 2 dds sitting across from us. I *knew* she was a hser, but dh didn't believe me. She was shocked that I knew, and yet I can't put a finger on what gave it away. Her dds were well-behaved and they were dressed very normal.

[Nicole M]

...someone blinking in shock, and saying, "You homeschool?!" in an incredulous voice, when they found out I did.

 

I have had people blink and look a little scared when I told them we homeschool.

 

The oddest comment I had was from another mom, who said, "I would never have guessed that you homeschool! You're a puzzle. You're a total hippie, though you don't look it. I mean, you dress your boys like little Mormons." I took that as a compliment, the Mormon part, because on the whole, those kids look sharp! ;)

[shiloh]

I'm cringing at the impending questions because I plan to take my 4th grade daughter to my Yoga class during the morning this fall. :ohmy:

 

We live in a "such a good" school district with sky high taxes that it's incomprehensible to the kool-aid drinkers why anyone would want to home school.

[Dirtroad]

Isn't it wonderful that they recognize your work by the behavior of your children, you working with them, and the books that you select. Not the old denim jumper or being out in the daytime!

 

I just love it! I think when they recognize you by these characteristics... it is an A on the Mom report card!

[momto2Cs]

Our librarian guessed within a few weeks of us using this branch... I guess we gave it away by always checking out the maximum number of books (30). Since she asked, she's been totally supportive - she'll ask what we're studying and recommend books.

[ElizabethB]

...someone blinking in shock, and saying, "You homeschool?!" in an incredulous voice, when they found out I did.

 

I never asked her to clarify, lol, because I'm not sure I would want to know why it's so surprising. :001_smile:

 

LOL! I'm not sure I would want to know either, but then it might bug me trying to figure out why.

 

No one seems surprised when I tell them, but they've usually been given a reading grade level test and/or heard about all my remedial students by then, so they are kind of expecting it, I suppose.

[ElizabethB]

This happened to us last summer.

 

We lived very close to the public library. As we were walking home, a woman stopped her car in the middle of the street and called out her window, "Excuse me? Are you homeschoolers?"

 

I think we'd lived here about 2 days when that happened. Here's the blog entry:

 

I Think It's A Compliment, But....

 

Very funny! And strange.

[ElizabethB]

It's HR - HomeschoolRadar:lol:

 

OK, that explains it! I feel better now.

[ElizabethB]

Isn't it wonderful that they recognize your work by the behavior of your children, you working with them, and the books that you select. Not the old denim jumper or being out in the daytime!

 

I just love it! I think when they recognize you by these characteristics... it is an A on the Mom report card!

 

I'll take an A! My house certainly is not getting one right now, we're still fighting those last few boxes.

[phathui5]

I've gotten it in church at least three times when we've had new people or visitors.

 

"So, you homeschool?"

[Dirtroad]

Here are my observations.....

Homeschool families typically "get along well" and work together. The children are well mannered and polite. They are considerate and attentive. They walk around with books... not electronics which withdraw them completely from society. (to the point that others must open doors for them to keep the game going).

 

Another issue, they can have a good conversation with a grown up or can attend and care for the small child. They are not used to be segregated by age all of their life. They are probably not obsessed with fashion & brands.... enjoy them, but not obsessed.

 

I would say the Moms don't look exhausted and communicate clearly with their children. Perhaps I should say... the Moms actually communicate at all with their kids. It is sad to see so many families that do not talk to each other. (haha... like the family in RV with Robin Williams).

 

I think you are "recognized" b/c your family is providing a great big CLUE! Again, congratulations! Big A +!!!

[Chelle in MO]

I was asked that while waiting for my turn for a mammogram last week! I had all 4 boys w/me because we had errands to do before and after the appt. I didn't ask the woman why she asked me, but we did have a really nice chat!

 

Chelle

[ElizabethB]

Our librarian guessed within a few weeks of us using this branch... I guess we gave it away by always checking out the maximum number of books (30). Since she asked, she's been totally supportive - she'll ask what we're studying and recommend books.

 

Our local librarians always know us well. After my husband got back from a deployment from Iraq, I was at the library without my children. The librarian asked, "Where are your kids?"

[sassenach]

I had requested a boat load of books on the gold rush. The librarian said something like, "You can always spot the homeschoolers." She said it in a super friendly way.

[Pretty in Pink]

I was asked that while waiting for my turn for a mammogram last week! I had all 4 boys w/me because we had errands to do before and after the appt. I didn't ask the woman why she asked me, but we did have a really nice chat!

 

Our local librarians always know us well. After my husband got back from a deployment from Iraq, I was at the library without my children. The librarian asked, "Where are your kids?"

 

Yes to both of these. People who see us frequently enough soon come to realize that I always have all of my children with me and that's when they ask if we HS.

[Lawana]

It happened to us once in the dairy aisle of the grocery store, not even during school hours. Dc and I were discussing whether or not to buy yogurt when a 50something woman walked up to us and asked whether we were homeschoolers. That's all. Just asked. We were not being particularly nice or anything. I even remember being a little irritated at the requests for sweetened yogurt. Dc and I talk about this incident all the time.

 

Lawana

[Mom-ninja.]

My librarian knows I homeschool, and told me that she did as well until her dd started 6th grade. She told me to not worry about anything because homeschooling works. :001_smile:

 

At karate when one dad found out I homeschool he was completely shocked. He pointed to my boys, and asked if they were the ones I homeschool. I told him yes, and he (again in shock) stated, "But they are so normal! They can't be homeschooled."

 

Um, thanks?:confused:

[Moni]

Really, I think it takes more patience dealing with the attitudes they learn in the PS system.

 

It does.

And that's my line in response

And I say, "Wow, I don't have the patience to have my kids in PS and all that entails...you are a better mom than I am, I tell ya....."

 

The line works both ways :lol:

 

So does, "Yeah, PS is there for my kids too, but what about Socialization?

 

And of course everyone's favorite,

"Sure, PS is an option for us too, but what about the prom?"

 

All the typical one-liners, right back atchya

 

:seeya:

[swellmomma]

This summer the young girl running the summer reading program booth asked me if we homeschooled. When I told her we did, she said "I knew it, only homeschoolers would be on their 3rd time through the program in the summer"

 

One of the other librarians asked if we homeschooled, because we were going to the library 3 days or more per week since April(when we stopped formal work last year) and my kids would be happy finding non-fiction books in not only science and social but math too in addition to their normal novels and comics. We always keep 2 cards full of books at a time (40 items per card, so 80 items out at any given time) so that could have been a give away too.

[Sue G in PA]

We have a large family. 7 children. The line of questions usually goes something like this and in this order: "Are they all yours?", "Are you a Christian (we are but like you have to be to have a large family?), "Oh, do you homeschool, too?" It's the standard order of questioning. I should print out little cards with the answers on them and pass them out. :)

[Staci in MO]

Someone posted about a lady walking up to her in the health food store and saying, "You homeschool, don't you." She was a little surprised that she had been made, since she didn't even have her dc with her. She just said that yes, she did, and the woman who had approached her just kind of walked away without saying anything else.

 

Well, a little further down the thread, the woman who had approached her commented - she was on the boards, too. :lol: She said she didn't know how she knew the lady homeschooled, and she was so embarrassed that she had asked that she just walked away.

 

It was a really fun thread.

[Sophia]

It does.

And that's my line in response

And I say, "Wow, I don't have the patience to have my kids in PS and all that entails...you are a better mom than I am, I tell ya....."

 

The line works both ways :lol:

 

So does, "Yeah, PS is there for my kids too, but what about Socialization?

 

And of course everyone's favorite,

"Sure, PS is an option for us too, but what about the prom?"

 

All the typical one-liners, right back atchya

 

:seeya:

 

Hey, why didn't I ever think of that?

Love these responses and I can't wait to use them!:D

[Jeanne in MN]

Here are my observations.....

Homeschool families typically "get along well" and work together. The children are well mannered and polite. They are considerate and attentive. They walk around with books... not electronics which withdraw them completely from society. (to the point that others must open doors for them to keep the game going).

 

Another issue, they can have a good conversation with a grown up or can attend and care for the small child. They are not used to be segregated by age all of their life. They are probably not obsessed with fashion & brands.... enjoy them, but not obsessed.

 

I would say the Moms don't look exhausted and communicate clearly with their children. Perhaps I should say... the Moms actually communicate at all with their kids. It is sad to see so many families that do not talk to each other. (haha... like the family in RV with Robin Williams).

 

I think you are "recognized" b/c your family is providing a great big CLUE! Again, congratulations! Big A +!!!

 

 

ITA!! Honestly, I have spotted hsers by the same things you mention.

 

I noticed a family once at a restaurant where the kids were all calm as could be while eating and the mom was talking with all the kids. They were out in the middle of a school day, so that probably clued me too, but their behavior really stood out. When I got to talking to the mom, she admitted she'd been wondering if we were hsers too.

 

At a recent county fair, a woman was spinning wool with a couple of her kids nearby. When we approached she started sharing with us what she was doing and some interesting tidbits about sheep wool, carding, spinning, etc. I thought, how many demonstrations have we seen over the years of this type of the thing and no one explains all that this mom did. She spoke directly to my kids. Her two kids were very friendly and smiling. I was not the least bit surprised to find out they were hsers.

 

Once while buying placemats with maps on them at Wal-Mart the check-out guy asked if we were hsers. I asked him how he could tell and he said he'd been homeschooled and only a hser would buy such a thing. :)

 

One night at a star program at a state park, there was a man who was sharing about the constellations and telling his kids about them. He was a hsing dad. When someone takes the time to speak with and teach things to their kids-it really stands out from your average parent.

[Reya]

Lots of times. :-) I think it's because we're nerds, though. (Don't LOOK like nerds, but lots of nerdy interests.)

[ElizabethB]

We have a large family. 7 children. The line of questions usually goes something like this and in this order: "Are they all yours?", "Are you a Christian (we are but like you have to be to have a large family?), "Oh, do you homeschool, too?" It's the standard order of questioning. I should print out little cards with the answers on them and pass them out. :)

 

You need little matching t-shirts:

 

"Yes, all theirs."

"Yes, we are."

"Yes, we do."

 

Little cards are probably cheaper.

[ElizabethB]

Someone posted about a lady walking up to her in the health food store and saying, "You homeschool, don't you." She was a little surprised that she had been made, since she didn't even have her dc with her. She just said that yes, she did, and the woman who had approached her just kind of walked away without saying anything else.

 

Well, a little further down the thread, the woman who had approached her commented - she was on the boards, too. :lol: She said she didn't know how she knew the lady homeschooled, and she was so embarrassed that she had asked that she just walked away.

 

It was a really fun thread.

 

Must be the homeschool radar!

[ElizabethB]

Lots of times. :-) I think it's because we're nerds, though. (Don't LOOK like nerds, but lots of nerdy interests.)

 

Probably the real reason here! Oh, well. It's much cooler to be a geek now than when I was growing up.

[Dooley]

I was walking my dogs WITHOUT children, and a lady drove up, stopped and asked if I homeschooled. I was very confused - She said someone told her the homeschooled lady does daycare and watches pets. As though that should make things clearer....how did she apply that info to me??

 

I can tell others that homeschool - one giveaway is kids that are a bit older wearing nice polo shirts and look neat, as opposed to t-shirts and baggy jeans. They speak nicely to each other. This is not always a truism, I have certainly known some homeschoolers that made me cringe too.

[Mom-ninja.]

I was walking my dogs WITHOUT children, and a lady drove up, stopped and asked if I homeschooled. I was very confused - She said someone told her the homeschooled lady does daycare and watches pets. As though that should make things clearer....how did she apply that info to me??

 

Proably because your were walking dogs.

 

 

I can tell others that homeschool - one giveaway is kids that are a bit older wearing nice polo shirts and look neat, as opposed to t-shirts and baggy jeans. They speak nicely to each other. This is not always a truism, I have certainly known some homeschoolers that made me cringe too.

 

Sadly, my older ds has lately told me he doesn't like polos anymore. :( I love my boys in polos. He says the collar bothers him. If I let him my 5 yr old would go everywhere in his pjs. :tongue_smilie:

[mazakaal]

We live in England, but we get a team of Californians to come for a couple of weeks every summer to help with the festival that dh organizes. Most of the people who come know nothing about us personally. Often one will ask me if I homeschool after they have a conversation with my kids. It's usually older teenagers and people in their 20's who were homeschooled themselves. They say that they can spot a homeschooled kid because they can converse so well with older people. It always gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. ;)

[Dirtroad]

ITA!! Honestly, I have spotted hsers by the same things you mention.

 

It is sad to say but many of my friends don't talk to their kids much. Even as they drive them around to activities, they have DVDs going or they have Ipods in everyones ears.

 

The kids are often hostile to each other b/c they have their own world of friends & things at school. Families are just to be tolerated or suffered through.

 

None of my friends (who are PS families) ever have a book. Most don't even have a bookshelf in their house.

 

Now this isn't a perfect model of every PS family... there are many differences, just like some homeschoolers are there b/c kid has been kicked out of every school in the area.... BUT... it is more common than I wish to notice.

 

With the contrast between Homeschoolers & (especially) PS kids... it is nice to stand out as a calm positive model!

[chiguirre]

I've done this to someone else. When we first decided to hs, I was trying to join the local group but they weren't answering their telephone messages. I stopped a woman with 2 older kids at the library on a school day and asked if she hsed. Of course she did! And she explained when the meetings were and not to worry about the lack of response but just show up. Problem solved!

[swimmermom3]

Nope. Never been ID as a home schooler. However, when I run into an acquaintance I haven't seen in a few years (usually from private school days) and they find out I now home school, I'm rather puzzled by the similar responses. "YOU home school"...sputter...sputter...cough...choke..."how in the world?"..."too funny"...oh Lisa, now really, where are they going to school?":001_huh:

 

The only person that seemed at ease was the first grade teacher that taught all 3 of my children. She looked right at Dude then gave me a huge smile and hug and said, "That is a brilliant solution." I've never known quite what to make of her comment.

[SquirrellyMama]

Our local librarians always know us well. After my husband got back from a deployment from Iraq, I was at the library without my children. The librarian asked, "Where are your kids?"

 

They ask me this at the bank and post office also when I've actually gone without my kids. :001_smile:

[kalanamak]

Yes, and I finally asked someone why they thought so. He said "because your son was not shy about asking questions of a grown up". Ahhh, just what I wanted.

[mammaruss]

...someone blinking in shock, and saying, "You homeschool?!" in an incredulous voice, when they found out I did.

 

I never asked her to clarify, lol, because I'm not sure I would want to know why it's so surprising. :001_smile:

 

:lol:I am sooooooooo glad I am not alone!!!

[mammaruss]

Our ds was in karate class at the local school through comm ed and a mother approached me and asked me if I homeschooled my ds?? I was shocked, bewildered--because we did not homeschool at that time--(I had often dreamed about having the courage to try someday);). ..anyways, she said that she homeschooled and that she often can "spot" other homeschooled children because they are so well behaved and the parents are so involved with their children! I thanked her profusely for the compliment--I started asking her questions about homeschooling and told her of my dream. She told me that she knew I could do it!! A few months later we pulled ds from ps and now we are proudly homeschooling!

[Krista in LA]

I once asked a woman that at Home Depot one time while working on the kids' workshop project. I guess I thought she might because of the way she was discussing the project with her dd, not because of how she was dressed or looked. It turns out that she was considering homeschooling at the time. I ran into her a year later and she not only was homeschooling, but also was setting up a homeschool science fair and working on starting her own curriculum business.