s/o a question for those who think of homosexuality as a sin

[st_claire]

What would you do if your child is gay? Would it be different if they are your son or your daughter?

[Cheryl in NM]

What would you do if your child is gay? Would it be different if they are your son or your daughter?

 

Jesus taught compassion and grace. I could love my child even in the face of his sin. It is not my place to judge. My son knows what the bible says about homosexuality. That is between him and God. Of course, I would be sad because of all his choice was forcing him to miss out on and the turmoil it would cause in his life.

[eight_gregorys]

Jesus taught compassion and grace. I could love my child even in the face of his sin. It is not my place to judge. My son knows what the bible says about homosexuality. That is between him and God. Of course, I would be sad because of all his choice was forcing him to miss out on and the turmoil it would cause in his life.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with this. While Christians (myself included) tend to view homosexuality like it is worse than other sins, God doesn't view it that way. Sin is sin. It would hurt me, but ultimately I am their mother and I would love them anyway. God never called us to judge others and I would hope that I wouldn't do that. (I say hope, because I am human. I make mistakes like everyone else.)

[StephinAL]

I would love them, but would not accept their lifestyle. I wouldn't want them parading a "partner" just like I wouldn't allow them to parade drugs or alchohol around me. I would fall on my face before God and pray for them just like I would if they were entangled in any other lifestyle that would send them to hell and an early grave.

[Karenciavo]

No, it wouldn't change the truth. How can my circumstances change what is true?

 

YMMV

[JudoMom]

No, it wouldn't change the truth. How can my circumstances change what is true?

 

YMMV

 

:iagree:

[Jackie in AR]

No, it wouldn't change the truth. How can my circumstances change what is true?

 

YMMV

 

Right. Truth is truth, and it doesn't change depending on a situation.

[amy g.]

Well, my sister "came out" when I was still in Jr. High school. I thought it was exceedingly hypocritical that my mother who has trouble being monogamous for a week kicked my sister out of the house.

 

When Dh and I were engaged (during that time when we were not kissing, but talking about our future) I told him that I was not willing to lose a child because of homosexuality. If one of our children brings home a same-sex partner. I will get busy sewing a new Christmas stocking and welcoming a new member of the family.

 

My sister and her significant other have been in a loving stable relationship for the past 18 years. I don't even want to think about the love and good times we would have missed out on if we had treated them like their sin was worse than our own.

[lionfamily1999]

I would love them, but would not accept their lifestyle. I wouldn't want them parading a "partner" just like I wouldn't allow them to parade drugs or alchohol around me.

I sort of agree. ;)

 

Honestly, though, who knows? It would break my heart to see my dcs make such a destructive choice, especially one that is so hard to change later. At least with drugs, they can quit and most people would be happy for them.

 

All the same, they're my kids. What would I do if they became addicts? Goodness, I don't know. On one hand, maybe letting them hit rock bottom would percipitate change, on the other, maybe if I kept them home and got them help?

 

Those are things that I don't think you can have a clear answer on until you get there.

[Scarlett]

I'm not sure I understood the second question....Did you mean would I feel differently about a female child being gay vs. a male child being gay?

 

As to the first question....It would depend upon whether the child acted upon that sinful desire. And further whether that child continued to practice that sin.

 

I would continue to encourage my son to remember he doesn't get to decide what is right and wrong. God is in charge of that.

[justamouse]

No, it wouldn't change the truth. How can my circumstances change what is true?

 

YMMV

 

 

Amen. I would love them, and love their mates.

[Tony'sMom]

What would you do if your child is gay? Would it be different if they are your son or your daughter?

 

Perhaps I shouldn't be answering this question since it was posed to those who believe homosexuality is a sin.

 

I do not believe it is a choice. I believe our loving God created everyone just the way they are. My cousin John is gay. We grew up together, went to Catholic school together, entered adulthood together. As a child I didn't know the name for it, but I knew John was not like the other boys. Just like I knew Mr. G. the choir director was not like the other men. God created these good and loving people just as they are - they never made a "choice".

 

So, my answer to your question - I would love them just as Jesus taught us to do.

[OnTheBrink]

No, it wouldn't change the truth. How can my circumstances change what is true?

 

YMMV

 

Absolutely. :iagree:

[st_claire]

I'm not sure I understood the second question....Did you mean would I feel differently about a female child being gay vs. a male child being gay?

 

As to the first question....It would depend upon whether the child acted upon that sinful desire. And further whether that child continued to practice that sin.

 

I would continue to encourage my son to remember he doesn't get to decide what is right and wrong. God is in charge of that.

 

 

Yes I mean if you had a homosexual daughter would you feel differently about it than if you had a homosexual son.

[st_claire]

I wholeheartedly agree with this. While Christians (myself included) tend to view homosexuality like it is worse than other sins, God doesn't view it that way.

 

Why is it that so many harp on it as being so much worse than other sins? You never see such deep debates on here regarding eating shelfish for example.

[kmacnchs]

I think it would also depend on whether or not my dc was a Christian or not...

Two TOTALLY different situations.

 

Is it a lost child acting lost (sad but not surprising)...OR...

Is it a Christian living in sin? (MUCH more disheartening)

 

I would treat them differently in each situation

 

Sit. 1 - continue to pray for them like I have been for their salvation

Sit. 2 - speak to them about their living in sin; if change does not occur, bring another with me; if change does not occur, bring it to the church and treat them as a pagan or a tax collector (go to sit. 1)

 

This is all hypothetical of course so I guess I really don't know for sure...

[Pretty in Pink]

I know the question was posed to those who believe it is a sin. I'm not really sure where I stand on this topic at this point in time; I definetely believe there is a genetic component to it, that homosexuality is not a choice. I have been taught over the last 8 years (when I got saved) that homosexuality is a sin but...

 

regardless, I know my heart and if one of my sons were gay I would love them just the same. I would welcome their partner with open arms. I would want my child to be happy and to know that they will always have my love. Period.

[lionfamily1999]

Why is it that so many harp on it as being so much worse than other sins? You never see such deep debates on here regarding eating shelfish for example.

Is shelfish mentioned in the NT?

 

I ask, because homosexuality is, it's also mentioned that we should not "enjoy" that sin in others.

 

I'm reforming myself right now and having read first Jesus saying Moses' laws were for men (ie men's laws) and then Paul speaking of Moses' laws and words as a veil over our eyes, I'm moving towards taking the NT laws (which include the ten commandments, but very little of the more specific food or dress rules) over and above the laws in the OT.

 

Because homosexuality is mentioned and (as of yet, but I'm only in 1Corinth.) since shellfish aren't, I'll eat my shellfish and teach the dcs that homosexuality is wrong.

 

I sort of agree that some have moved homosexuality to a higher realm than any other sins (I don't agree with those people), but some folks building it up to be the worst does not make it right, it's still wrong, iykwIm.

[Mommyof4ks]

Jesus taught compassion and grace. I could love my child even in the face of his sin. It is not my place to judge. My son knows what the bible says about homosexuality. That is between him and God. Of course, I would be sad because of all his choice was forcing him to miss out on and the turmoil it would cause in his life.

 

:iagree: My kids are still young, but I do have a friend that I have known for years that is gay. It is not my place to judge her. God teaches us to love one another, and so I do (or at least try, some people make that very hard :D). I have sins of my own, and God sees them in the same light. There is not a scale of sins with one above or below another, sin is sin. Just my .02

[mom31257]

I believe acting on the desire is the sin, so if they believe they are homosexual, I would encourage them to be abstinent. Of course I want them to be abstinent before marriage if they are "straight", too. If this country legalizes marriage, I do not believe that will give them an out by waiting until they are married.

[HeatherLynn]

If one of our children brings home a same-sex partner. I will get busy sewing a new Christmas stocking and welcoming a new member of the family.

 

My sister and her significant other have been in a loving stable relationship for the past 18 years. I don't even want to think about the love and good times we would have missed out on if we had treated them like their sin was worse than our own.

 

I totally whole heartedly agree

 

Perhaps I shouldn't be answering this question since it was posed to those who believe homosexuality is a sin.

 

I do not believe it is a choice. I believe our loving God created everyone just the way they are. My cousin John is gay. We grew up together' date=' went to Catholic school together, entered adulthood together. As a child I didn't know the name for it, but I knew John was not like the other boys. Just like I knew Mr. G. the choir director was not like the other men. God created these good and loving people just as they are - they never made a "choice".

 

So, my answer to your question - I would love them just as Jesus taught us to do.[/quote']

 

I too am a Christian who believes that the majority of homosexuals were born the way they are. I believe that the brains and souls are a different gender than the body, that is all. So, if my child were gay, I would be surprised, but I would accept them as they are and let deal God deal with the rest.

[japhmi]

I don't believe that homosexuality is a sin, but homosexual acts are. I would still love any child who decided to live out a homosexual lifestyle, while making it clear that I do not approve - just like if I had a heterosexual child who decided to move in with a boy/girlfriend.

[Peek a Boo]

My response is similar to the "if your child had an abortion" Q--

 

I would NOT revel in the fact, and would warn against it, but would absolutely keep the lines of communication open, and they would always be allowed in my home and at family gatherings, even w/ a partner. It is difficult to minister to people who aren't allowed to be around you. They would have to prove to be destructive to our family dynamics by more than simply existing before i would ban them from my home and/or family.

 

and no, it wouldn't matter whether it was my son or dd, altho i think dh would take it much, MUCH harder if it was a son.

[Erica in PA]

Why is it that so many harp on it as being so much worse than other sins? You never see such deep debates on here regarding eating shelfish for example.

 

Shellfish aside :001_huh:, I don't know any Christians who think it's worse than other sins. However, it has become more than just a physical act in our society, it has become a lifestyle, and one that our society is currently telling us *must* be embraced and celebrated. Therefore, you will naturally hear more from Christians about this issue than you will about other sins that are not being pushed for public acceptance.

[Peek a Boo]

Why is it that so many harp on it as being so much worse than other sins? You never see such deep debates on here regarding eating shelfish for example.

 

you simply don't see as many scriptural references, stories, warnings, or examples of the horrors of eating shellfish.;)

 

Apparently humans struggle more [and endure more disastrous earthly consequences] with sexual sins like homosexuality than eating shellfish.

[Tami]

Well, Jesus commands us to make a right judgment, after first examining ourselves, and it is not reality to live in a world without making judgment calls.

 

Acting as if fornication, adultery, homosexual acts, lying, or addiction are OK by acting as if nothing is wrong would seem to send the wrong message. In my world, sin is something that needs to be let go of and repented of. It does not matter ultimately what *I* think, but what God thinks. All of us are born as slaves to sin, and yet it is possible to turn away from it and toward God. While all of us are sinners, God calls sinners everywhere to repentance.

 

I would want to be careful to not ENABLE sinful behavior unwittingly by being TOO accepting. Just like I would love my daughter if she was a heroin addict but not want to convey acceptance, I would be praying not to be overly tolerant of a sexually sinful behavior: homosexual or heterosexual.

 

The Bible declares that without holiness none will see the Lord, and that judgment waits for those who continue in sin. I believe that only the power of Christ can deliver a person from the power of the sin nature. We are all born slaves to sin, so the argument that homosexuals are born that way doesn't matter to me -- we are all born liars, thieves, and seekers of Self, programmed for all types of vile behavior and thoughts. Only God's mercy demonstrated through the sacrifice of Christ can deliver us from the power of sin. Humans sin, not because it is what they do, but because it is who we are. No real surprise there. God is merciful, but there is a line where His mercy ends and His judgment begins.

 

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 sums it up for me:

 

Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Edited August 8, 2009 by Tami

[Renee in NC]

I don't believe that homosexuality is a sin, but homosexual acts are. I would still love any child who decided to live out a homosexual lifestyle, while making it clear that I do not approve - just like if I had a heterosexual child who decided to move in with a boy/girlfriend.

 

:iagree:

[Laura Corin]

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 sums it up for me:

 

Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.

 

Homosexual acts and gluttony seem, to my ignorant eyes, to be made equivalent in this verse.

 

Laura

[Blessedfamily]

Why is it that so many harp on it as being so much worse than other sins? You never see such deep debates on here regarding eating shelfish for example.

 

Outside of legislatives issues that come up, I don't see anyone harping on it in my circle of Christian friends. We are more apt to discuss the gluttony that happens in the fellowship hall after church (I mean people discussing their own sin of gluttony).

 

Shellfish aside :001_huh:, I don't know any Christians who think it's worse than other sins. However, it has become more than just a physical act in our society, it has become a lifestyle, and one that our society is currently telling us *must* be embraced and celebrated. Therefore, you will naturally hear more from Christians about this issue than you will about other sins that are not being pushed for public acceptance.

 

This is when it gets discussed more.

[eight_gregorys]

Why is it that so many harp on it as being so much worse than other sins? You never see such deep debates on here regarding eating shelfish for example.

 

It's just my humanness (is that a word) that thinks it is worse. To me it ranks up there with adultery. I know that I shouldn't believe that and that sin is sin, but it's just one of those issues that is harder for me to accept I suppose.

[Peek a Boo]

Homosexual acts and gluttony seem, to my ignorant eyes, to be made equivalent in this verse.

 

Laura

 

sure -- you can find a whole list of sins listed side by side in several verses. this is where prooftexting comes in vs considering the whole counsel of scripture.

 

when you do a comprehensive read through of the entire Bible you'll encounter a larger slew of problems w/ sex than w/ gluttony. Thus the perceived emphasis on sexual issues.

 

eta: the fact that we tend to struggle more w/ some sins than others does not make one sin worse than another --it simply explains why we tend to DISCUSS one more than another.

[KingM]

When Dh and I were engaged (during that time when we were not kissing, but talking about our future) I told him that I was not willing to lose a child because of homosexuality. If one of our children brings home a same-sex partner. I will get busy sewing a new Christmas stocking and welcoming a new member of the family.

 

 

This is how I feel, and yet...

 

Well, as a person who believes in accepting people for who they are, I still hope that none of my children is homosexual. I think this would be a more difficult path to follow, for one, and second, I do want my children to get married and have children of their own, to continue the family line. I suppose that is a bit old fashioned.

 

But while there would be a twinge of disappointment, I would in no way disown my child.

[LibraryLover]

This is how I feel, and yet...

 

Well, as a person who believes in accepting people for who they are, I still hope that none of my children is homosexual. I think this would be a more difficult path to follow, for one, and second, I do want my children to get married and have children of their own, to continue the family line. I suppose that is a bit old fashioned.

 

But while there would be a twinge of disappointment, I would in no way disown my child.

 

I've grown my family partly through adotption, so I can't relate to this at all.

[KingM]

I've grown my family partly through adotption, so I can't relate to this at all.

 

Well, there are two things. First, I think it is more difficult to be homosexual than heterosexual, regardless of one's religious feelings or lack thereof. Society still doesn't approve, relationships are less stable, there is greater risk of disease. As a parent, I don't want to see my children struggle.

 

Second, with your adopted children, don't you still hope they bring grandchildren into the family some day? Of course, gays and lesbians may adopt, but they don't usually do so. Of the many homosexuals I know, only two have children, and these are the product of marriages before they came out.

[Peek a Boo]

I think this would be a more difficult path to follow

 

This is a very realistic way of looking at it.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Do? Love them, no doubt. Accept their partner and love him or her. My response would be no different if it were my sons or daughters.

 

I would remind them of the tenants of their faith (I hope they never lose our faith), just as I do now when we walk in any sinful nature, but at some point, their choices are not mine and I'd have to accept them in the same way I accept other people.

 

We're all sinners and while the result of sinful behaviors vary, sin is sin, so I couldn't judge. Heck, I'm a chief sinner in many areas...how could I condemn? {FWIW, I recognize a difference in judgment and condemnation}

 

I will admit a sorrow would emerge. I would be sad for what would be lost (admitting my expectations would be crushed), but those feelings would be kept to dh and closest friends. I would hope to convey the love of Christ, despite my sorrow, the way my Lord conveys His love, despite His sorrow when I sin against Him.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Well, there are two things. First, I think it is more difficult to be homosexual than heterosexual, regardless of one's religious feelings or lack thereof. Society still doesn't approve, relationships are less stable, there is greater risk of disease. As a parent, I don't want to see my children struggle.

 

 

:iagree:

[LibraryLover]

Well, there are two things. First, I think it is more difficult to be homosexual than heterosexual, regardless of one's religious feelings or lack thereof. Society still doesn't approve, relationships are less stable, there is greater risk of disease. As a parent, I don't want to see my children struggle.

 

Second, with your adopted children, don't you still hope they bring grandchildren into the family some day? Of course, gays and lesbians may adopt, but they don't usually do so. Of the many homosexuals I know, only two have children, and these are the product of marriages before they came out.

 

 

I know plenty of gay folks who have adopted, or who had bio babies.

 

I didn't answer the question, but if any of my children are gay, I'd not blink at it. I do not care. If they want to adopt, awesome. If they want to buy sperm, awesome. If they don't want children, that's fine as well. My brother is a 44 yr old hetero and he doesn't want kids, ever. My mother & father are fine & supportive with that, and he is even their only son. So what, yk?

 

I don't know any gay folk without full lives. And my brother, childless though he may be, has a full life, and is a loving uncle to my kids , and a wonderful brother to me.

Edited August 8, 2009 by LibraryLover

[KingM]

I don't know any gay folk without full lives.

 

I do know plenty of gay people and they run the gamut: kind, selfish, neurotic, fulfilled, stuck in dead-end jobs, spiritual, secular. I have a cousin and a good friend who have both struggled. They came from very conservative families and there is a big wound left by conflicts with parents over their coming out.

 

As for the children thing, I understand that having offspring isn't the only measure of the success of one's life. I'm very much a family man, however, as I have four children and am intimately involved in their lives and education. I tend to think in these terms.

[Pamela H in Texas]

People have their own sinful natures to deal with. In this case, it is simply how the person chooses to deal with it. If they trust God will work it out (and he promises to do so) and waits on him, then there isn't any issue at all. If they act on it, then how I would respond to that depends on what choices the person (my child or not) has made in regards to his/her relationship with God. The scriptures outline different responses for "anyone" vs members of the congregation. I would follow God's direction in this matter as that is the most loving course.

 

And I know people have an issue with this kind of thing, however, I actually had a very similar issue. I could have chosen to continue to follow my flesh but instead took the guidance from God. I don't mean to say it was easy as it wasn't. But God promises to give us help in order to follow his commands which obeys shows how much we love him (1 John 5:3).

 

And again, we have the promise that we won't always have these types of issues. I will deal with my "thorn in the flesh" just as Paul and many others have had to. Trust and a relationship with God through his Son can allow you peace as you do things God's way instead of man's.

[emeraldjoy]

I love, love, love this so much. Beautiful words and so true for so, so many things. Thanks so much.

e

No, it wouldn't change the truth. How can my circumstances change what is true?

 

YMMV

[lionfamily1999]

Well, there are two things. First, I think it is more difficult to be homosexual than heterosexual, regardless of one's religious feelings or lack thereof. Society still doesn't approve, relationships are less stable, there is greater risk of disease. As a parent, I don't want to see my children struggle.

 

Second, with your adopted children, don't you still hope they bring grandchildren into the family some day? Of course, gays and lesbians may adopt, but they don't usually do so. Of the many homosexuals I know, only two have children, and these are the product of marriages before they came out.

Brace yourself... I agree with you ;)

 

It's not an easy path to take and, imo, one that holds many more dangerous situations. Beyond the religious reasons, there are people that the sexual partner decision and turn it into a reason to kill. There are the diseases and, like you said, lack of stability.

 

I'm not a pure bred anything, I'm a big mutt, my family comes from nearly every continent. All the same, the idea of continuing the blood lines is important to me. I want to see my dad's eyes and my grandpa's nose on the face of my great-grandchildren. Dh is the last of his line, well he was, until the dss were born. I would hate to see the end of my family line.

[kokotg]

Of course, gays and lesbians may adopt, but they don't usually do so. Of the many homosexuals I know, only two have children, and these are the product of marriages before they came out.

 

Adoption is not the only (nor likely the most common) way for lesbians to have kids. I know far more lesbian couples with children than without. In areas with a large gay population, it's very, very common for there to be multiple children in an average elementary classroom with 2 moms (or 2 dads, although I imagine that's a good bit less frequent).

 

ETA: I don't have numbers, but I suspect perception of how many gays and lesbians have kids is largely dependent on where one lives. I would guess that same sex households with children are far more likely to live somewhere with a large gay population, precisely so that their kids will know other kids with similar families.

Edited August 8, 2009 by kokotg