Can y'all stand another question from me?

[Aubrey]

I know I seem like a fruitcake, coming here w/ big questions all the time, like life is nothing but a bus to be turned around at will. I've always been that way, making big decisions quickly & changing them just as fast. It took me 7 yrs to get my BA in Lit because I transferred to 5 different schools 8 different times and changed my major from Biblical studies to Math/Dance to Lit/Hist w/ Nursing thrown in there somewhere.

 

I did finally finish, w/out even getting a minor in anything, but my point is, that's the kind of person I am. I started & finished my MA in Ed in 2yrs, w/out changing majors, schools, concentrations, or anything. BUT I applied to the school of Architecture & only switched to Education at the last min.

 

I get bored easily, and I can do anything. It's a bad combination, and now I need to get a job. There are several problems.

 

1. I can't teach. I just can't go back to the ps sys. I knew that before I got the teaching cert, & I know it more now, & I was INSANE to get the degree. If I could sell it back at 1/2 price, I would.

 

2. I've never worked in an office building. I've been working since I was 14, but w/ the exception of a couple of retail jobs, everything has been in a school setting. I was tutoring College Algebra & Spanish for the jr college here when I was 16, working in the writing lab after I finished my BA, teaching highschool & Business Writing after that.

 

3. I have looked pg for the past 8 yrs. Not real promising for interviews.

 

So I've thought about going back for a PhD, but...I'm afraid I don't care enough about that to put that much time & effort in, & I know there aren't a vast array of jobs out there for Lit profs.

 

I know I want to use my writing, but I've been applying for technical writing type jobs for about a month now, & honestly, I'm afraid my res *looks* like I've been staying home for the last 4 yrs. I felt on top of the world when I left teaching--a couple more yrs experience, & I could have a higher job like curric coodinator, etc. I was smart, well-educated, etc.

 

Now...I feel big & slow & clumsy. Uneducated, lol. Like all I know how to do or talk about is use coupons & change diapers.

 

So I'm thinking a brief return to school might help rub off some of those stay-at-home mom edges. I love design, & I took advertising in hs. Between the art & the writing, I think I could do well in this, & so I'm thinking about going back for either a MA in Communications or an MBA, either one w/ a focus in Marketing.

 

I could finish either degree in about 1.5 yrs, & I'm applying for jobs now. My goal would just be to get into the field, whether or not I finish the degree. I figure school would help me make contacts & give me a few more software progs to put on my res.

 

Dh won't talk to me about it. He's too heartbroken for me not to stay home w/ the dc any more, but we can't feed them. I have to do something. My sis is my next person to talk to about life issues, &...I can tell she's thinking something she won't tell me. I finally told her yesterday that I need someone to listen to my plans & tell me they're a good idea. (Or not.) She said point-blank that she's not that person.

 

So I sense from her that something is wildly wrong w/ my plans. Sure, it would be better to go ahead & get a job now, but I'm trying, & no one's calling me back. I don't intend to stop trying, but I feel like I need to do something more as well. Retraining? I don't know.

 

She's worried. I can't talk to my mom--she's still going to school at night every other semester or so, changing her major, trying to decide what she wants to be as if the whole world is still open to her. She's about 10 yrs off from retiring w/ a bunch of student debt, no degree, & no idea what she wants to do. I see myself in her. Or is it the other way around? Anyway, I know she doesn't have advice for me.

 

I also know that I will never be a stay-at-home mom after this. I can feel it knocking the breath out of me, I'm so afraid to go forward, but I'm trying to be brave & do the right thing. And I figure some day, advertising is something I might could freelance, once I've est. myself in the field.

 

But I'm pretty good at convincing myself I can do things that aren't right for me, like teaching. So I wonder about this plan. Am I fooling myself? Or am I just afraid to do anything other than what I know?

 

Somebody's going to ask about hs'ing, so I'll go ahead & answer: I don't know. I hope I can do it all, but feeding them has to come first.

 

I'm not going to tutor or keep other people's kids. The kids & I need health ins & a real paycheck. This is not supplemental, this is rent & groceries.

 

Ok, I'm bracing myself--what do y'all think?

[Melinda in VT]

You're not going to like this, but . . .

 

get a teaching job.

 

Seriously, if the point is to feed your kids, focus on the area in which you have the best chance of getting a job. You'll put food on the table and get your confidence back.

 

Then figure out if it makes sense to pick up some more training or education to switch careers. (Maybe you can do that during the summer and make the switch in a couple of year?)

 

:grouphug:

 

Feel free to completely disregard, of course.

[Remudamom]

I'm sorry you're facing this. I don't know what to say. I'm all for moms staying home, but the kids do have to eat. Have you considered applying for help?

 

Tell your ding dang sister that you need some input from someone who know you, and lock yourself in a room with her till she tells you what's bugging her.

 

And I'm thinking too that you should bite the bullet and teach if you have to. A paycheck is a paycheck.

[Aubrey]

You're not going to like this, but . . .

 

get a teaching job.

 

Seriously, if the point is to feed your kids, focus on the area in which you have the best chance of getting a job. You'll put food on the table and get your confidence back.

 

Then figure out if it makes sense to pick up some more training or education to switch careers. (Maybe you can do that during the summer and make the switch in a couple of year?)

 

:grouphug:

 

Feel free to completely disregard, of course.

 

Well, it's not quite that easy. My teaching cert expires in July, & I'm about 100 hrs short of what I need to renew it.

 

AND the districts in my area are having major budget shortfalls, so they're laying off scads of teachers. I mean, like 1000s. So, having only 1 yr of "official" experience followed by a 4 yr absence & an expired license...I'm afraid wouldn't put me at the top of the pile, kwim?

[Loupelou]

Aubrey, I can't give you any advice as I haven't been in your shoes. I'm sending hugs though. :grouphug:

 

Now that you have written all of that down, you could cut and paste, print it out and read it to yourself repeatedly. Take notes, write in the margins, brainstorm, maybe you can work something out from that. Maybe that sounds lame but it's all I've got.:tongue_smilie:

 

Sending prayers that your family can thrive with whatever decisions you and dh have to make.:)

[readwithem]

How close is your dh to finishing school? (Sorry if I have missed this somewhere). What are his long term plans career-wise?

 

One other thought to throw into the mix - your children are very young now, your thoughts might change as they get older re: homeschooling. I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of our journey and I'm sad for the limited time I have left :(

 

Have you considered teaching online classes? I don't know whether it's too late for next year - most places probably already have their schedules set for next year.

[Stacie]

This might be outside of what you are looking for, but I honestly could never make a decision like this without long discussions about family/life goals with my husband. We are partners in our family so we make big decisions like this together. I know if this situation came into our lives, he would not run from it. And believe me when I say running is not an option I'd give him! :D He'd still feel bad about my not having the option to be a SAHM, but he would work through the big and small decisions with me.

 

Is it not possible to sit down with your dh and tell him "Look, I know this is not what we originally planned, but it's where we are. We need to make sure decisions from here on our reflect our goals for our family given our current status." Your situation is never static and will change throughout the life of your marriage. The earlier you begin to work on the future as a team the easier it will be to make changes on the fly.

 

Hugs to you and prayers for your future!

Edited May 18, 2009 by Stacie

[Garga]

School and job at the same time is juggling too many balls at this point.

 

If you need food on the table and insurance, concentrate on getting a job, and forget about school until you've got the job.

 

Once you have the job, wait a month or two, and then worry about education and what direction to go in. The job you take now will be a temporary measure to get your feet under you, so don't worry if it's not a dream job at this point.

 

After you have the job and money is coming in, THEN worry about education.

 

However, if you CAN'T get a job because you need education, then go to Plan B, which is to go to school before getting the job. But if you need the money now, that will be tough.

 

Give it time to get the job. It can take months (like half a year or more) to get a job nowadays.

 

P.S. I agree with the PP that you might have to consider teaching temporarily, to earn a decent salary. (nevermind--just read your response. You prob wouldn't be hired.)

[amy g.]

I agree about getting a teaching job. If the public schools are not hiring, look at private schools.

 

Since I have a 2 year old, if I was in your position, I would get a preschool job where I could keep her with me, or at least next door.

 

I always hear how hard it is to get health insurance, but the YMCA offered me full health care for the family just for teaching a few hours a week.

[Dana]

So I've thought about going back for a PhD, but...I'm afraid I don't care enough about that to put that much time & effort in, & I know there aren't a vast array of jobs out there for Lit profs.

 

It's not just that there aren't a lot of jobs; there are hardly any jobs for PhDs in liberal arts. Lurk some on the job hunting boards for the Chronicle of Higher Education. There are something like 800 applicants for a single tenure track job - and you'd need to be willing to move literally anywhere in the country.

This is not a way to make ends meet.

 

If you have 18-21 graduate hours in a subject, you may be able to get adjunct work teaching at a community college. No benefits, but it gives some experience for later full-time jobs. I work part-time in the evenings teaching a class or two and that helps us with income while letting me still be home during the day.

 

Talk with the career center at the college and actually look at the job boards and who's hiring. It really doesn't sound like getting another degree will likely open doors.

 

If you don't want to teach (and the market is rough right now), you could look at some of the tutoring centers (Sylvan) and see if they're looking for anyone. You may need to work part-time for a while to build up your resume again.

 

Don't go back to school. You're going to be spending money for the possibility of getting a job in about 2 years. You've got a BA and a MA. Another degree won't open more doors. Instead, use these two years to work part-time or to work an entry-level job. You may not have health insurance, but you'd have money coming in - and then you're making more contacts with actual employers.

 

Have you checked temp agencies? My husband got his job when we moved by working for a temp agency to start.

 

Good luck.

[Remudamom]

Amy has a brilliant idea. Why not try the Y? Some friends of mine worked part time there and loved it.

[SonshineLearner]

Are there extensions for the hours? Courses you can do by mail? Teaching would maybe be a good job, as your summers are a bit freer. Of course, the first few years are extra hard, but you could do it!

Does your husband pastor? I seem to remember ministry?? Could you get someone you trust to watch the children? Can your husband watch them for part of the time? Food is good to have! Rent has to be paid. Sometimes things aren't perfect, right? And, between staying home with littles and teens...it may be that teen years are more important.... And so...maybe it's not forever:-)

Carrie:-)

[Emmy]

If you need money and insurance now, I don't see going back to school as a solution to that problem. If anything it will put you in debt and delay bringing in a paycheck.

 

From this - and your previous post about career etc - It seems that going back to school appeals to you the most and you are looking for affirmation of that choice. I wonder if going back to school feels safe to you compared to working and therein lies the appeal? I live in a college town and I see a lot of people that continue to go back to school for this degree or that because they are changing directions or want to freshen up their skills and start over. A lot of people use "going back to school" as the parking lot of life kwim? You get to pull over. You get to feel like you're moving forward because you're "on your way" to something new. I don't know - perhaps I'm really misreading this and please don't be offended, I don't mean this as a criticism at all - but I see this a bit in your posts. School will feel like you are working towards your goals - but it won't help you in the short term.

 

Now - all that being said - I don't really know the situation like you do, I'm not there. But I think what needs to happen most is more money coming in - so getting a job (although it sounds like that's been a tough go) is probably the best bet.

[JudoMom]

Before I answer, what are your dh's plans right now? Is he set on staying in seminary? What are his job prospects looking like right now?

[jacqui in mo]

Are there any openings in a private school (teaching or administrative) where you could at least have the 2 school age kids with you? Maybe there is a needy private school where you could point out a need for something with your skills and create a job for yourself?

 

(When I say "needy", I don't mean a private school like you described above.) I'm talking about a school still developing its programs and hasn't yet seen all the possibilities open to it.

 

There's a wonderful private classical school like that in our area.

Edited May 18, 2009 by jacqui in mo

[Aubrey]

If you don't want to teach (and the market is rough right now), you could look at some of the tutoring centers (Sylvan) and see if they're looking for anyone.

 

Sylvan pays about $10/hr. I can't justify that.

 

Don't go back to school. You're going to be spending money for the possibility of getting a job in about 2 years. You've got a BA and a MA. Another degree won't open more doors. Instead, use these two years to work part-time or to work an entry-level job. You may not have health insurance, but you'd have money coming in - and then you're making more contacts with actual employers.

 

I do have 2 degrees, but they're liberal arts, not practical skills or business. An entry-level job would require more hrs than school, & so unless it paid well enough to cover childcare expenses, I couldn't do it.

 

I don't mean to sound argumentative, but I'm trying to see my res from an employer's eyes--don't you think I'd come across as overqualified for entry-level? Missing the cert for teaching?

 

And anything practical...it seems like it starts w/ an internship that you get thr school. But I don't actually know, & that's why I feel so...lost.

 

I was the first person in my family to finish college, & sometimes I *feel* it, kwim? Like I'm still some backwoods kid in a trailer who thinks they need a degree to work at WM & so actually manages to make life harder by going to school forever & never working. (It's that kind of frustration that drives my sis crazy, lol. She's much less emotional, & I'm hard to deal w/ when it comes to career stuff. I have too many silly hangups.)

[Aubrey]

If you need money and insurance now, I don't see going back to school as a solution to that problem. If anything it will put you in debt and delay bringing in a paycheck.

 

From this - and your previous post about career etc - It seems that going back to school appeals to you the most and you are looking for affirmation of that choice. I wonder if going back to school feels safe to you compared to working and therein lies the appeal? I live in a college town and I see a lot of people that continue to go back to school for this degree or that because they are changing directions or want to freshen up their skills and start over. A lot of people use "going back to school" as the parking lot of life kwim? You get to pull over. You get to feel like you're moving forward because you're "on your way" to something new. I don't know - perhaps I'm really misreading this and please don't be offended, I don't mean this as a criticism at all - but I see this a bit in your posts. School will feel like you are working towards your goals - but it won't help you in the short term.

 

Now - all that being said - I don't really know the situation like you do, I'm not there. But I think what needs to happen most is more money coming in - so getting a job (although it sounds like that's been a tough go) is probably the best bet.

 

That's EXACTLY the kind of person I'm afraid of being. That's probably exactly what I'm doing. BUT...if I'm looking for a job & can't find one...w/out giving up on that, what else should I do?

[amy g.]

In Texas, many private schools do not require a teaching certificate.

[Renee in NC]

What about childcare? You aren't going to make enough after childcare and taxes to make it worth being gone from your children all day every day.

 

Can you literally not feed your children? Did your husband lose his multiple jobs?

[*********]

What about childcare? You aren't going to make enough after childcare and taxes to make it worth being gone from your children all day every day.

 

Can you literally not feed your children? Did your husband lose his multiple jobs?

 

I've been wondering the same thing, Aubrey. I'd hate to think all of us here on the boards have a family that is literally going hungry...

[Aubrey]

Before I answer, what are your dh's plans right now? Is he set on staying in seminary? What are his job prospects looking like right now?

 

Dh is leaving seminary. He's looking for a job. Any job. He's only been called back by people trying to sell him something. He has a degree in history & experience in sales, customer service, & purchasing. IF he finds something good enough before I do, maybe this will all be moot. That's what he's hoping for, but he's been hoping that for 2 yrs.

 

He's got a huge heart, & he's the most idealistic person I've ever met. But that's become a problem in this situation. I really don't want to change that part of him. If I can find something I *want* to do & still hs, he'll be thrilled for me. If I find something I *want* to do but can't hs, he'll be really, really sad but will try to be supportive.

 

I have to convince him I *want* to, though, or he'll keep trying to make too-good-to-be-true jobs work.

 

I don't know if that makes sense, but for this, I need to handle it by myself. We don't do things that way, but this has gotten beyond working together. I mean, I'm not going behind his back or anything, & we're not mad at ea other, but I don't want to sit at home & take food stamps or move in w/ his parents. He thinks both of those would be better than me getting a job.

 

Please don't think badly of him. He just thinks hs'ing is best for the kids & desperately wants it to be poss. I'm hoping to juggle it all or at least make enough $ to send them to private sch. I just hope it's not too late, & I don't want to give up.

 

As far as teaching in a private school, I went to one of those for a couple of yrs growing up. The education was pathetic, the teachers were so poor we took up canned food collections for them, & I don't want that for my kids. Now, that's the dinky kind of private school that's just for parents who want to keep their dc OUT of ps but not nec IN anything else. The more rigorous schools...I have a hard time believing they would hire me. But you know, that's really MY problem, & I guess I should get over it.

 

But I've wanted to hs my whole life, & I envision going to an interview where I need to tell them my phil of education & just breaking down in tears. Whereas I hope I could interview outside of the educational sphere w/ a little more...enthusiasm. I don't want my dc w/ me at a school. That may not make any sense, either, but that's why I haven't applied to private schools.

[Aubrey]

What about childcare? You aren't going to make enough after childcare and taxes to make it worth being gone from your children all day every day.

 

Can you literally not feed your children? Did your husband lose his multiple jobs?

 

Well, if I put the littles in day care & the bigs in ps, that would be around $1000/mo, less if I left them w/ a friend. Teaching, I brought home nearly $4000/mo. Financially speaking, I'd come out ahead.

 

School would be different. I'd take classes online (I did my MA this way w/ 2 toddlers underfoot), or I'd juggle the dc w/ school & dh. We did this while finishing our BA degrees. Both were hard, but we've done it before.

 

If I know I'm doing the right thing--or at least convinced that I'm doing something worth trying--I can do almost anything for a while.

[Avila]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I think everybody is wondering about your husband in all this. And if he isn't talking you through it, maybe it is out of his own sense of guilt and remorse. Is there nothing else he can do or something he can change to share this burden? Sometimes people make the choice to follow a dream at the expense of the people around them. When you have a family to support, you can't always have your dream job and live the life you want to. I don't know how you go back to school and feed a family of six, but I am not thinking having you both in school will make that any easier, or that you will get the insurance you want and pay the childcare and rent either.

 

Are there any big companies that have customer service jobs, like banks or credit card companies or hospitals and such? Those jobs are generally close to entry-level, but you get full benefits, and you can often have a 2nd or 3rd shift, which might make it possible to share childcare with your husband instead of having to pay for it. You may have to take a job you don't want or like in the short-term. You may be surprised at what the opportunities are like once you get a foot in the door somewhere.

 

If what your husband is doing has hopes of providing for the family relatively soon, taking any job that pays enough is what it sounds like you need to do. But I am not sure what advice to give if that isn't the case.

 

Again, :grouphug:. I am truly sorry you are struggling with this. I am praying for you.

 

ETA: I think you answered most of this while I was trying to post. I really hope for a good outcome and God's will for both of you here. If you pray for that, you can't go wrong.

Edited May 18, 2009 by Asenik

[Heather in Neverland]

As far as teaching in a private school, I went to one of those for a couple of yrs growing up. The education was pathetic, the teachers were so poor we took up canned food collections for them, & I don't want that for my kids. Now, that's the dinky kind of private school that's just for parents who want to keep their dc OUT of ps but not nec IN anything else. The more rigorous schools...I have a hard time believing they would hire me. But you know, that's really MY problem, & I guess I should get over it.

 

.

 

But have you actually tried? A small Christian school that your children could attend might be a good place to start. Also, and this seems normal to me but maybe a long shot to you...have you and/or your husband considered teaching abroad? You know we are going to Malaysia, right? You and your dh could both get teaching jobs at the same school, your kids could go there too and you would get housing and a fabulous cultural experience! There are international schools in just about every country in the world. What country have you always wanted to see? It also makes for a great missionary experience.

 

With your husband's sales experience, he should apply for a manager position at Wal-Mart. It pays decently (at least around here) and you get insurance and it is about the only business that is NOT posting aloss every quarter. In fact, they are EXPANDING. The one my dh works at right now is going super center and will be hiring several new managers and this is happening all over the U.S.

 

If you can't feed your family, going back to college right now is not the answer.

[Renee in NC]

I will pray for your family Aubrey.

[tex-mex]

Have you considered applying for food stamps and medicaid for 6 months? That way you can look for a job and get some help in the meantime. I don't know what to say... this current economic market is lousy to look for a job. My local Wachovia had a new teller who was a former Electrical Engineer with over 30 years of experience and he couldn't find a job in the DFW area for 2 years. He is thrilled to be making base pay with benefits. You will have a tough time finding a salary job.

 

I'd consider a part-time or lower your standards and get a job via Walmart, supermarket (good benefits), or waitressing (tips). Go over budget with hubby and see what you can go without before looking at work -- sometimes it costs more $$$ to go back to work (i.e. daycare costs, gas, lunches, clothing, toll fees, taxes...)?

 

Forgive me for being blunt -- but it kinda sounds a bit prideful that you are saying you've made your mind up...? Honestly, this could be a dealbreaker with hubby if you two are not together on this major decision. Your actions could be seen (for a long time) as you being in charge and hubby being a limp noodle when it comes to taking care of the family. Men take that type of hurt internally and it festers for years. (Big deal on their ego) Are you willing to act in the "flesh" to rescue your family that it could take a toll on your husband's core beliefs?

 

We've been married for 22 years... honey, we've been thru heck and back financially. There were times we thought we'd be homeless. And you know what? God always provided. I learned to not act on impulsive thoughts -- and "rescue" my hubby when times were tight -- that created a bad precedent. Don't get me wrong... I've worked full time, part time, etc. Now at home for the last 5 years. But I cannot step into my hubby's shoes to be the main provider as it burned me out and took a toll on my health. God does listen if you take the time to talk to him.

Edited May 18, 2009 by tex-mex

[Renee in NC]

Well, if I put the littles in day care & the bigs in ps, that would be around $1000/mo, less if I left them w/ a friend. Teaching, I brought home nearly $4000/mo. Financially speaking, I'd come out ahead.

 

School would be different. I'd take classes online (I did my MA this way w/ 2 toddlers underfoot), or I'd juggle the dc w/ school & dh. We did this while finishing our BA degrees. Both were hard, but we've done it before.

 

If I know I'm doing the right thing--or at least convinced that I'm doing something worth trying--I can do almost anything for a while.

 

WOW! Where you live childcare is cheap and teachers make a LOT more money than they do here!

[Leah]

I can see that you are really in a tough place right now. I have no doubt of that.

 

I have to be honest and say that I really don't see the value in returning to school right now. As has been mentioned, there aren't too many jobs for a Lit professor, but there are plenty of people who want those jobs. It would be a very tough job to get and I seriously doubt that you would see much of a financial return on it any time soon.

 

Are you thinking about working while your husband stays home with the kids? Is this something he is willing to do?

 

I heartily join the chorus of those suggesting a private school teaching job. There are many, many different school out there, and if you really need work right now, I think you should pursue that option.

 

I guess what I am thinking is that right now, food stamps or living with the parents for a short time might be good options. I will be praying for you!

[Aubrey]

I can see that you are really in a tough place right now. I have no doubt of that.

 

I have to be honest and say that I really don't see the value in returning to school right now. As has been mentioned, there aren't too many jobs for a Lit professor, but there are plenty of people who want those jobs. It would be a very tough job to get and I seriously doubt that you would see much of a financial return on it any time soon.

 

Are you thinking about working while your husband stays home with the kids? Is this something he is willing to do?

 

I heartily join the chorus of those suggesting a private school teaching job. There are many, many different school out there, and if you really need work right now, I think you should pursue that option.

 

I guess what I am thinking is that right now, food stamps or living with the parents for a short time might be good options. I will be praying for you!

 

But I'm not talking about lit prof. I'm talking about a few business classes, working toward an MBA.

[TraceyS/FL]

Ohhhhhh, there you go. Leave in Heather's suitcase!!!

 

:grouphug: it's not easy, but $10/hr at Sylvan is better than nothing, and I'm assuming that you can do it when your DH would be around.

 

Heck, i'd love to be able to know i could get $10 going back to work, but as far out of working as i am, in the current climate around here, that is a pipe dream.

 

But i'd seriously do the international thing in a heartbeat if i was qualified!

 

 

But have you actually tried? A small Christian school that your children could attend might be a good place to start. Also, and this seems normal to me but maybe a long shot to you...have you and/or your husband considered teaching abroad? You know we are going to Malaysia, right? You and your dh could both get teaching jobs at the same school, your kids could go there too and you would get housing and a fabulous cultural experience! There are international schools in just about every country in the world. What country have you always wanted to see? It also makes for a great missionary experience.

 

With your husband's sales experience, he should apply for a manager position at Wal-Mart. It pays decently (at least around here) and you get insurance and it is about the only business that is NOT posting aloss every quarter. In fact, they are EXPANDING. The one my dh works at right now is going super center and will be hiring several new managers and this is happening all over the U.S.

 

If you can't feed your family, going back to college right now is not the answer.

[TraceyS/FL]

But I'm not talking about lit prof. I'm talking about a few business classes, working toward an MBA.

 

The current amount of unemployed MBA's right now - with gobs of experience working in that field, probably don't make this a current high return on investment (in both time and money) degree choice.

 

I"m afraid that you are going to have to "suck it up" and take a crappy job - that isn't career path'd and THEN ponder what to do. It's not what you want to hear, but the fact is, right now its hard to get a job.

 

Heck, the newest hire at the gas station is an Electrical Engineer - and he is happy as a clam to have gotten that job.

[Avila]

But I'm not talking about lit prof. I'm talking about a few business classes, working toward an MBA.

 

I don't know what Texas is like, but in St. Louis, an MBA is nothing any more without the years of business experience to back it up. Actually, most degrees are just a ticket to get into an interview right now. The only degrees that actually mean something are the things like nursing or education, where the degree and the job are directly related.

[Rhonda in TX]

I would not see that as an option. It will only put you further into debt and won't solve the immediate problem.

 

You need to start looking for a job. Forget about school and start sending out your resume and calling places. If your husband is not currently working, he can watch the kids. Or, call some friends and see if they would be willing to watch the kids for minimal pay while you get started. I would do this for a friend in need.

 

In your situation, I would be looking anywhere and everywhere. You will never know how employable you are until you get out there and try to find a job. I know it's scary. I would be scared, too. But you have said you have to bring some money in. The only way to do that is to get a job.

[Aubrey]

:grouphug: it's not easy, but $10/hr at Sylvan is better than nothing, and I'm assuming that you can do it when your DH would be around.

 

Heck, i'd love to be able to know i could get $10 going back to work, but as far out of working as i am, in the current climate around here, that is a pipe dream.

 

 

How would you live on that? Even in seminary housing (which we obviously couldn't keep), $10/hr wouldn't pay the bills. Babysitters make that much, so I wouldn't even be able to pay for childcare.

[Stacie]

I guess what I (and others it seems) are trying to figure out is how going back to school now for a better job in the future will solve the food and insurance problem now. I think if you need to feed your children and provide health insurance for them, then school will not have an immediate or even short-term payoff. I do see the long-term benefits of such a plan, but immediate needs should be considered first.

 

Yes, some potential employers may consider you over-qualified but many others are applying for the same job you are. When I hired for jobs in the past, over-qualification meant that the person would bolt to another job when the opportunity came up. In the current economy my dh hires people based on how they will be able to move up within the organization. This means over-qualified individuals are actually preferred because when the economic situation improves, these are the people poised to help the company grow.

 

As far as your mom and her current situation, I believe our parents are put into our lives to teach us, guide us, and love us. Sometimes one of the lessons they teach us is using their experience to teach us how not to handle a situation. If seeing yourself in your mother's position years from now is one of these lessons, now is the time to change it! I love my mom with all my heart, but she's not necessarily my life mentor, iykwim.

Edited May 18, 2009 by Stacie

[Mrs Mungo]

Could you tutor or teach some sort of classes out of your home? I know several homeschooling moms who supplement their income this way. eta: Could your husband potentially do the same?

 

Have you or your dh checked into delivering papers? I knew a lady in NC who did this, she had 1 route, her husband had 2. He was going back to school and those were the only jobs they had.

 

Dana suggested Sylan or one of those types of centers. I know you said it wasn't worth it but if you could do it in the evening when hubby was home and you didn't require childcare, would it be worth it then?

 

Since your husband's degree is in history-has he considered teaching? Does he have a Master's or just a BA? Have you guys considered seeking a small school where maybe you could both teach?

 

Where do you guys live again? Are you settled there or willing to move?

Edited May 18, 2009 by Mrs Mungo

[Aubrey]

I would not see that as an option. It will only put you further into debt and won't solve the immediate problem.

 

You need to start looking for a job. Forget about school and start sending out your resume and calling places. If your husband is not currently working, he can watch the kids. Or, call some friends and see if they would be willing to watch the kids for minimal pay while you get started. I would do this for a friend in need.

 

In your situation, I would be looking anywhere and everywhere. You will never know how employable you are until you get out there and try to find a job. I know it's scary. I would be scared, too. But you have said you have to bring some money in. The only way to do that is to get a job.

 

I've only been looking for 2mos, but I *have* been looking. If I'd gotten a single call back, I wouldn't be worried. If my teaching cert were still valid, I'd figure I could at least try that.

 

But we're coming on the summer, so for at least 3 more mos, I can't get a teaching job. I haven't gotten any callbacks on the resumes I've sent out. That's not to say I *won't* get any, I just feel silly to keep doing the same thing & hope for different results. I don't plan to *stop* sending out resumes, I just want to expand my efforts.

 

Fwiw, every job I've ever had has come through school contacts. Now, that's probably because they were all jobs AT schools, lol, but I guess that's part of my thinking.

[Aubrey]

I guess what I (and others it seems) are trying to figure out is how going back to school now for a better job in the future will solve the food and insurance problem now. I think if you need to feed your children and provide health insurance for them, then school will not have an immediate or ever short-term payoff. I do see the long-term benefits of such a plan, but immediate needs should be considered first.

 

Schools offer health ins. The last one I attended had a campus clinic AND pharmacy. They have student housing at discounted rates, & while I don't want to live on student loans, they might offer a short-term solution IF the coursework itself is a long-term solution.

[brehon]

Well, if I put the littles in day care & the bigs in ps, that would be around $1000/mo, less if I left them w/ a friend. Teaching, I brought home nearly $4000/mo. Financially speaking, I'd come out ahead.

 

Aubrey, have you priced child care in your area (and I mean the whole D-FW area)? Are you sure of these numbers? Child care for my 2 youngest (then infant and 2yo) was expensive. And I live in Central Texas where things are generally cheaper than in DFW. Is the $1000/mo the cost of childcare? That certainly wasn't what I was paying (I would have loved to have paid that).

 

 

The current amount of unemployed MBA's right now - with gobs of experience working in that field, probably don't make this a current high return on investment (in both time and money) degree choice.

 

:iagree: Don't forget that you'll be competing with MBAs from Baylor and UT, to say nothing of those people with MBAs and years of experience. Please don't count on this. Asenik is right -- the piece of paper gets you in the door if you also have business experience.

I"m afraid that you are going to have to "suck it up" and take a crappy job - that isn't career path'd and THEN ponder what to do. It's not what you want to hear, but the fact is, right now its hard to get a job.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid you need to think about what job you can realistically get and apply for it, regardless of what your preferences might be. If that means you sit in an office somewhere, then do it knowing that it won't be forever. I truly don't think school is a good choice for you and your family right now. I know there are legitimate companies hiring out near DFW airport -- have you/your dh looked there? I know you said you didn't want to work for $10/hr; however, Sylvan or Kaplan or another test prep company might be the best place for you to look right now. $10/hr is better than $0/hr or worse, IMO, increased school debt right now.

I'm so very sorry you and yours are having such problems right now.

[Jami]

((Aubrey))

 

A preschool really might be a good option to look into. If you can find one that's part of a larger company, like a hospital, health insurance is more likely. But turnover is usually high and you'd get a discount for your two littles. That would at least cover some of your smaller bills. Then if your dh can get an evening job, maybe waiting tables (there's good money in tips), you guys could maybe stay afloat awhile longer.

 

Is there any chance you could go to your in-laws for awhile? To save on rent? Kick out the weird uncle?

 

:(

[Aubrey]

$10/hr is better than $0/hr or worse, IMO, increased school debt right now.

 

I'm so very sorry you and yours are having such problems right now.

 

No, $10/hr IS $0/hr, unless dh keeps the kids.

[Aubrey]

((Aubrey))

 

A preschool really might be a good option to look into. If you can find one that's part of a larger company, like a hospital, health insurance is more likely. But turnover is usually high and you'd get a discount for your two littles. That would at least cover some of your smaller bills. Then if your dh can get an evening job, maybe waiting tables (there's good money in tips), you guys could maybe stay afloat awhile longer.

 

Is there any chance you could go to your in-laws for awhile? To save on rent? Kick out the weird uncle?

 

:(

 

Sure, they've said there's always a place there for us w/ them. I love them like crazy, but I'd sooner drive off a bridge. Not because there's ANYTHING wrong w/ them, but because I'm going to be 30 this summer. I'm an adult. I'm going to take care of myself.

[Leah]

Sorry! I misread that!

 

But still, an MBA without experience is going to be a tough road as well.

[amy g.]

Is there a reason why your Dh can not keep the kids if you get a job?

[Carol in Cal.]

What I see here is a serious crisis that has gotten out of hand, and I am SO sorry that that is so.

 

I think that you can only control what you do, not what your husband does. But I would tend not to accept his not being able to do ANYTHING. I would think that he could either stay at the seminary and get subsidized housing and financial support or get a real job. I know times are tough, and that means that the idea of applying all over the place really is crucial. If he got that job at Walmart, it would not be the desire of his heart for his career, but the desire of his heart on behalf of his family would be met. Peet's Coffee and Starbucks offer health insurance even for half timers, I have heard. So those might be good options for him as a stop gap. And he would be well advised not to treat this as a stop gap situation, because that way he will enjoy the job more and also be more successful at it. "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might!" really applies here.

 

For you, I think it is CRUCIAL that you reinstate your teaching credential. That is your main salable asset, and whether you use it or not in the next year, it is folly to let it go. You will be a much more credible applicant to any of the other places that have been mentioned if you are a 'real' teacher with the paperwork to back you up. And employers in other fields are more likely to take you seriously if you keep it--it shows a certain focus on the workplace that it appealing. As a SAHM, your big issue with employment, from an employers' perspective, is, "Will she quit as soon as her husband finds work?" Whether or not you think you would quit under those circumstances, it is crucial not to burn your bridges by giving that impression, which might not even turn out to be accurate. I would prioritize renewing your license at the top of anything your family does for the next few months. Make it happen, it must!

 

WRT Sylvan, the nice thing about that is the schedule--you would be working only during the after school hours, so you could supplement your family income but continue to homeschool. I think that privately tutoring would probably be more lucrative, but it is difficult to get those first few clients. And rates for that depend heavily on the local area--I have a cousin who tutored French for private school children in NYC and charged $90/hour, and this was about 10 years ago. Around here, typical rates are between $25and $80/hour, depending on expertise and reputation. It is impossible to get to the higher rates here until you have done it for quite a while and have a great deal of demand. I know a local math tutor who charges $50/hour/student for small group tutoring sessions! Imagine!

 

So, I would slow down the focus on your overall career path, and I would get that credential in place, pronto. I would accept food stamps and Medicaid. Please, this is exactly what this is for--to provide a stop gap for someone who is temporarily getting their collective act together. Resolve to pay it forward if you are so inclined, but for heaven's sake, take it for now.

 

That is as far as I think you can afford to plan ahead right now.

[LibraryLover]

I would send resumes and make follow-up calls to every private school and preschool close enough to make the communte worthwhile. Sure, some private schools bite, but so what? You're still the parent and you're still going to be a thoughtful and intelligent one, right? One who can enrich your family life? You can be a good teacher in a less-that-perfect school, girl.

 

Further, even if you work nights at a grocery store, or Sylvan, you're still ahead since your dh is home night, right? Can he work alternate days at Sylvan? Since he's a history major, maybe he could help prepare kids for the AP History exam. Test prep is a thriving biz in some areas.

[yvonne]

But I'm not talking about lit prof. I'm talking about a few business classes, working toward an MBA.

 

What would you do with an MBA? What _specific_ job would you look for if only you had an MBA? How likely is it that you'd be able to get _that_ job? (Ie, how competitive is that field?)

 

If you really, really want that job, do you _really_ need an MBA to get it? We women always seem to feel like we aren't qualified for anything without some external proof (a degree, certificate,etc.) Men seem to just go out and do the job. (I'm in Silicon Valley where a lot of people have been highly successful without an official degree, but maybe an MBA is req'd in other places.... )

 

And, if you do get that job, is it likely that you'll be any happier at it than at teaching?

 

Working toward an MBA would be fun & you could at least feel like you were going somewhere intellectually, but it guarantees nothing in real terms, iykwim? It only postpones the reality of getting a paying job with benefits. It assuages the immediate problem of your unhappiness, but it does not solve the immediate problem of food and rent.

 

I am so sorry you're in this spot. :grouphug: It sounds like you're trying to reconcile your dreams and your reality. I can definitely understand the desire to go back to what you enjoy most and something you're comfortable with and successful at (going to school) but, if it's a matter of groceries, you might not have the wriggle room to do that anymore. :(

 

yvonne

[Barb_]

Aubrey, how are you looking for a job? You really need to make contact with professional staffing companies to find something better than entry level. Try Googling "professional staffing" and send your resume to everyone you can find. Would you consider relocating? In a market like this, you'll do better if you can go where the jobs are.

 

http://www.mypsr.com/employers/positions.aspx

 

http://www.rhi.com/OurServices

 

http://www.tylerprofessionalstaff.com/'>http://www.tylerprofessionalstaff.com/'>http://www.tylerprofessionalstaff.com/'>http://www.tylerprofessionalstaff.com/

 

http://www.tylerprofessionalstaff.com/

[yvonne]

No, $10/hr IS $0/hr, unless dh keeps the kids.

 

Is that a possibility? Could you and your dh kind of switch roles? It does sound like you have the greater earning potential at this point. I know it's hard for some men to not be the financial provider, but he clearly values having a parent at home with the kids, so maybe he'd be willing to step up to that role without feeling badly about not bringing home the paycheck?

 

Sometimes I feel lucky to be in Silicon Valley.... I know a number of men who have opted to stay home with their kids while their wives work. It's not the norm across the US, but they and their families seem happy!

[Kathleen in VA]

Sure, they've said there's always a place there for us w/ them. I love them like crazy, but I'd sooner drive off a bridge. Not because there's ANYTHING wrong w/ them, but because I'm going to be 30 this summer. I'm an adult. I'm going to take care of myself.

 

If I were worried about feeding my children, the fact that I am an adult and I need to move in with my ils would absolutely not be an issue. Both my dh's siblings have moved back in with his parents at one time or another (both were waiting for their houses to finish being built after having moved out of their previous homes). Sil moved in with five children! It was not a financial issue, but just the same, they didn't feel it was beneath them just because they were older than 30. Families are there to help. That's what they're for. I would not hesitate for one second to move in with my ils if my children would go hungry otherwise.

 

Aubrey, you know I'm on your team, right? All of us care a lot about you. You need to put your pride in your pocket (so does your dh) and you need to be willing to do whatever is BEST FOR THE CHILDREN. Honestly, I see this as moving in with family so you do not have to work. Aubrey, those children need YOU - you are their mother - they really, really need YOU.

 

It is you dh's responsibility to provide for your family. He needs to figure it out and he never will if you jump in and rescue him.

 

Also, forget about school right now. Your job, your career is your kids. You don't have the option to be thinking about your own future career goals right now. Your obligation is towards your children - they should be yours and your dh's only consideration right now.

 

Sorry if I'm being blunt and in your face. If I were there with you I'd be hugging you in between all the blunt comments.:)