JAWM People from Other Nations

[Anne]

We were in Thailand when my dc were small, and I once lost contact with one of them in a temple. I looked all over the place and was starting to get a little worried when I found her standing amidst a crowd of Asian (tourists? Locals? No idea). A second later, I realized that they were lining up to have their pictures taken - with her!

 

So interesting!!

 

Anne

[SKL]

Just curious why it enrages you to have someone take a photo of your child.

[SKL]

I went to my kids' preschool on their first day to take "first day of school" photos.  A bunch of other kids begged me to take their photos also, so I did.  I hope none of the other parents were enraged.

[TravelingChris]

And "personal space" is a cultural idea that varies greatly from culture to culture.  As in having people squish up against you on the bus is perfectly normal.

 

In the US, a foreign lady (total stranger) asked to touch my babies' hair.  At least she asked.  :p

 

When we were newly married, or maybe still engaged, we were travelling from NJ to NYC on a bus,.  An older white woman suddenly grabbed a piece of my dh's hair and exclaimed how she wish she had  a pair of scissors.  She followed up with that you can't get his hair color in a bottle. And we have others comment that his hair was wasted on him because he isn't a woman, ( He had gorgeous strawberry blond hair which is fading now but not graying).

 

The reminders of the fascination of Asians with blond and red hair just makes me thankful that we were stationed in Europe, not Asia.  Not that we wouldn't have found it interesting but my anxious kids would not have appreciated all the attention on them.  What was funny like heck was that the Bavaria tourist magazine/brochure had as it's cover picture a doppleganger of my middle kid.  And no, we aren't German at all but the kids are mixed central/eastern European.

[TravelingChris]

Also, we don't have privacy in many ways and certainly not in Public.  There are cameras everywhere nowadays including on drones, and ones you don't know are there.  You can either become a hermit or realize that and go on with your life.  

[Aura]

This really isn't about cameras and privacy. It's about an idiot who continued to harass a child when the mother said NO. The camera was the tool that they used, but it could have just as easily been something different.

 

I know a lot of people from different cultures, and I can't imagine anyone who actually stopped to think would think that it would ever be acceptable to try to go around a mother standing between them and a child and explicitly saying "no." Not for any reason. Not in any culture. Anyone who uses their brain would know THEY CROSSED A LINE and they needed to stop. 

 

People get a camera in their hands and do stupid, offensive things. I think that goes across cultures. People kill themselves trying to get selfies. People kill themselves by staring at their phones instead of where they walk. An idiot really wanted a picture and let go of all common sense and basic courtesy. Again, this goes across cultures.

 

I agree w/ the OP that the tourist was way out of line. I'm really surprised to see so many people trying to defend this person who tried to go around mama to get to child.

 

Could the situation have been handled differently or diffused earlier? Maybe. But that does NOT mean what that tourist did was okay. Not by any stretch. Nope. The tourist was way out of line and should not be excused because she is from a different culture than the OP's.

[fralala]

I also have strong personal reactions against people photographing my kids. I'm private to the point where my friends know to reassure me, when they take pictures of our kids together, that they will not post them on their blogs or Facebook.

 

With that said, our family is half Asian. My kids happened to have inherited the half that looks completely northern European. They look very exotic to our less worldly Asian relatives, who both grew up in a culture where it's not considered rude to gaze fixedly at another person (or, one might say, stare) or even to comment on the physical appearance of another person directly and frankly. One other thing? As a culture, they adore children. They just love having kids around. This is a mass stereotype, but kids tend to be very welcome-- and welcomed lovingly-- in public and at all occasions in a way they aren't generally in the U.S.

 

I think it's good to be able to step up and say directly, "NO PHOTOGRAPHS." But I think it's also good to have that place in your heart that moves past the "My kids are not an exhibit in a zoo!" reaction to, "These people think my kids are adorable, their cherubic faces make their hearts happy, and when they look back on their trip in America, one of the things they remember about it is the sweet kids they saw." I know if my relatives were taking the pictures of kids, that's what they'd be thinking and they really just aren't all that worldly-- they do not come from a particularly diverse part of the world, and part of the advantage our our position (if we choose to use it) is that it sometimes makes perspective-taking easier.

 

In any case, I'm sorry it put a damper on your vacation because as logical as I am about this, it does make me feel a little protective of my kids when an adult strikes up a conversation with them asking if we are really their parents, and if anyone else in their family has blue eyes, etc...photographing can also feel like an incursion.

[MommyLiberty5013]

This really isn't about cameras and privacy. It's about an idiot who continued to harass a child when the mother said NO. The camera was the tool that they used, but it could have just as easily been something different.

 

I know a lot of people from different cultures, and I can't imagine anyone who actually stopped to think would think that it would ever be acceptable to try to go around a mother standing between them and a child and explicitly saying "no." Not for any reason. Not in any culture. Anyone who uses their brain would know THEY CROSSED A LINE and they needed to stop.

 

People get a camera in their hands and do stupid, offensive things. I think that goes across cultures. People kill themselves trying to get selfies. People kill themselves by staring at their phones instead of where they walk. An idiot really wanted a picture and let go of all common sense and basic courtesy. Again, this goes across cultures.

 

I agree w/ the OP that the tourist was way out of line. I'm really surprised to see so many people trying to defend this person who tried to go around mama to get to child.

 

Could the situation have been handled differently or diffused earlier? Maybe. But that does NOT mean what that tourist did was okay. Not by any stretch. Nope. The tourist was way out of line and should not be excused because she is from a different culture than the OP's.

Thanks. This is what I'm getting at yet I've become the anti-world anti-traveler, which couldn't be further from the truth. People haven't read my posts because I get that photos are part of culture now, security or otherwise and have stated so several times. All I'm left with is that people must find it self gratifying to rudely gouge at a woman online whose only effort was to take assertive measures to protect her child from out of control tourists. And they were out of control. The irrational leaps folks have made here are outstanding! To go from a JAWM post right on to how I must need to hide in my house. Lol. Shakes head.

 

Parents have to become advocates for their kids. All I'd be doing for my child and others by writing to embassies would be to be an advocate. If people roll their eyes, who cares. It's amazing posters here have basically damned me for wanting to make a bit of an effort to help educate others on what is acceptable and what isn't. Chasing a child under NO circumstances is acceptable or normal. If you think otherwise then you must be the odd one.

[creekland]

I'm really surprised to see so many people trying to defend this person who tried to go around mama to get to child.

 

It's not really defending the person as much as saying it's nothing to have gotten so concerned about.

 

We don't even know that it was a neurotypical person TBH.  'Tis probable and she/they just got carried away wanting a photo of something (on someone) they don't regularly see (like hair), but it's still hardly worth more than a chuckle and future story telling.

 

The OP probably made her youngster more afraid with how she reacted and that does the lad (or lass - can't remember and too lazy to go look at the first page) no favors.  It instills fear where there really shouldn't be any.  Some tourist(s) was trying to take a picture.  Tourists "happen" at tourist places and we don't all have the same cultural upbringing even if some things are more common than others.  We've had weird (to us) things happen.  That's part of life TBH.  That's what happened to the OP.

 

I don't recommend other people start doing what the tourist did.  That would be defending the action.  I just don't recommend getting as worked up about it as the OP did either.  There's no need.

[creekland]

Parents have to become advocates for their kids. All I'd be doing for my child and others by writing to embassies would be to be an advocate.

 

So I assume you have the name of these folks so the people at the embassy can help them learn what is culturally acceptable?

 

Or are you going to paint their whole ethnicity "bad" for the action of a few?

[2squared]

It's definitely not just tourists.

 

We lived in San Antonio for four years. Hispanic members of our Catholic church often asked to touch my white haired, blue eyed little toddler. They loved to rub his head. I thought it was sweet.

[creekland]

Ok... just realized it's a JAWM thread.  I can't.  I honestly can't.  It goes against every fiber of my being to do so.  Therefore, I'll bow out and let the OP hear only from those who agree with her actions.  That way she can stay comfortably in her bubble thinking everyone agrees with her.

[SKL]

Do you know how to say "no" in Chinese?

 

If not, then it is possible the tourist did not know what "no" meant.

 

Also, "yelling" is something that happens regularly in China when nobody is upset. 

 

So, you have a person from a culture where it is normal to photograph other people's children, where "personal space" has a very different meaning, where "no" has no meaning, where yelling isn't a sign of serious angst, who decides to do something non-invasive to your child (from her perspective).  Yes, I am defending that person.

 

You're right, I wasn't there, but what you described did not sound extremely upsetting to me.  Maybe I would have felt differently had I seen it myself.

[Scarlett]

I have not read all of the replies. Am I the only one who would not be bothered at all by someone taking a picture of my child?

 

I just don't get why it is so upsetting.

 

Oh sorry i did not notice that it was a JAWM.

Edited September 14, 2017 by Scarlett

[MommyLiberty5013]

nm 

 

Edited September 14, 2017 by Susan Wise Bauer
Personal attack. Quit.

[MotherGoose]

When I took my three blond haired, blue eyed children to Italy, we were something of a spectacle, both because of the size of our family, and because of their coloring. I never felt threatened or anything, because everyone we encountered behaved appropriately, but I could see a line being crossed for sure in the OP post. But people love blond hair and blue eyes, especially people from cultures where it does not exist (Asia). Op I don't blame you for being upset.

[Guest]

Dang, the Hive is rough today. We need more Stitch Fix!!

[Valley Girl]

 

 

We don't even know that it was a neurotypical person TBH.  'Tis probable and she/they just got carried away wanting a photo of something (on someone) they don't regularly see (like hair), but it's still hardly worth more than a chuckle and future story telling.

 

 

I don't see how what happened to the OP is worth chuckling over. I wouldn't. The tourist's behavior was out of line. If a stranger is chasing down my child, I don't care WHAT the person's issue is. If someone is trying to do an end-run around me when I say "no" and physically put myself between him or her and my small child, I am going to view that person as a threat. How is a parent to know a photo is the only thing the person wants? Again, the mother clearly said "no."

[Valley Girl]

Do you know how to say "no" in Chinese?

 

If not, then it is possible the tourist did not know what "no" meant.

 

 

Maybe she didn't know what "no" meant. But surely having the mother step in front of her to block the child should have given her a clue that what she was doing wasn't OK.

[Guest]

I'm gobsmacked by the responses in this thread. OP, yes, I would have been VERY upset over this incident. I don't think you're crazy at all.

[Guest]

Apparently NO means NO only in certain contexts but not in others???

Edited September 14, 2017 by Kinsa

[MercyA]

nm

Edited September 14, 2017 by MercyA

[MercyA]

And my mind keeps contrasting this with the Amish thing.  I live near Amish country, and I have always been taught that you can't photograph Amish adults because they think that does something to their souls.  But photographing the kids is OK.  Mainstream US folks seem to be taking the opposite view.  Personally I don't think being photographed in public (from near or far at any age) does anything to a person, unless you're such a famous person that it's an intellectual property infringement.

 

That's not quite right. Some Amish think taking photographs of people violates one of the 10 Commandments: "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image." Others consider it vain or prideful to pose for photos, but are okay with unposed ones. You are right that photographing children is usually seen as more acceptable, because children aren't yet members of the church. Some stricter Amish groups don't allow it, though.

Edited September 14, 2017 by MercyA

[SKL]

Maybe she didn't know what "no" meant. But surely having the mother step in front of her to block the child should have given her a clue that what she was doing wasn't OK.

 

In a tourist location, how would they know she was the kids' mother and how would they know why she went where she went?

 

If it was completely out of their experience that people don't like kids to be photographed, some lady getting in their way and hollering something they don't understand would not send the intended message.

 

I mean picture yourself walking along doing something that is normal for you to do, in a crowded place, and some random person starts hollering in a foreign tongue.  First you are not going to think they are hollering at you, because as far as you know, you aren't doing anything wrong and you have no business with that person.  Even if you do think they are hollering at you, how are you supposed to know what they are hollering about?

 

(Actually similar did happen to us once in Ukraine.  We were in the ladies' room and some lady started yelling and yelling at my kids in Ukrainian.  I have NO idea what they were doing wrong - perhaps a breach of Ukrainian bathroom etiquette that I was unaware of?  She yelled for a good minute and then left.  Needless to say, my kids did not change whatever they were doing, because they did not know what the problem was.)

Edited September 14, 2017 by SKL

[solascriptura]

I understand your frustration. Can I say though, that in a sea of tourists there will always be a few bad seeds. Most people are decent though.

 

You should see what other countries think about America right now.

[Valley Girl]

In a tourist location, how would they know she was the kids' mother and how would they know why she went where she went?

 

 

Seriously? OK. Woman says "no" (probably with some degree of firmness and/or emotion) and blocks child from stranger. Assuming she's the kid's mother isn't the first assumption a reasonable person makes?

 

Jerk behavior isn't relegated to American tourists in foreign countries only.

 

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. (Have a good evening, though!)

[SKL]

Seriously? OK. Woman says "no" (probably with some degree of firmness and/or emotion) and blocks child from stranger. Assuming she's the kid's mother isn't the first assumption a reasonable person makes?

 

Jerk behavior isn't relegated to American tourists in foreign countries only.

 

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. (Have a good evening, though!)

 

It's likely that the words provided in the OP are providing a different picture in my mind vs. your mind.  I guess we'd both have had to be there to be sure of our reaction.

[EKS]

(And this isn't even the weirdest thing that can happen. I have a friend who swears a stranger once got down and started praying at his child's feet.)

 

I had a stranger come up to me and my very young baby in the produce section at the grocery store, ask if he had been baptized yet, and when I said no (we're Jewish/areligious, but apparently I failed to mention that in my post-childbirth state) she informed me she was an Episcopal priest and announced that she would baptize him.  So she did.  At least I think she did--I really have no idea about such things.

Edited September 14, 2017 by EKS

[SKL]

I had a stranger come up to me and my very young baby in the produce section at the grocery store, ask if he had been baptized yet, and when I said no (we're Jewish/areligious, but apparently I failed to mention that in my post-childbirth state) she informed me she was an Episcopal priest and announced that she would baptize him.  So she did.  At least I think she did--I really have no idea about such things.

 

In India a guy claiming to be a priest prayed over me and gave me something and told me to eat it.  I was like ummm....  My Indian friend told me I have to eat it since it is "God food" and the priest would be extremely offended if I didn't.  So I pretended.  :P

[bettyandbob]

I had a stranger come up to me and my very young baby in the produce section at the grocery store, ask if he had been baptized yet, and when I said no (we're Jewish/areligious, but apparently I failed to mention that in my post-childbirth state) she informed me she was an Episcopal priest and announced that she would baptize him. So she did. At least I think she did--I really have no idea about such things.

Ok that's bizarre. FTR you do not need an ordained priest to baptise in the Episcopal Church. I have never known ordained ministers of any type to snatch up babies to baptise. Really weird. Creepy.

[creekland]

 Quote deleted by moderator.

 

 

Can't say I consider myself an internet bully, but you're welcome to your opinion of course.

 

I can say I don't think you need to bow out of this site merely because "someone on the internet" has a different way they'd have approached things than you did.  Chances are, the next thread we'll be in agreement on.  That's often the way it works on The Hive (and IRL).

 

I generally don't "do" JAWM threads because I'm not fond of just hopping on a bandwagon.  (There probably have been a few exceptions, of course.)  In my own JCWM (Just Commiserate With Me) thread, I'm glad folks spoke up with alternatives to what I was thinking.  It was very helpful.  Nonetheless, I apologize for missing the JAWM as I was going through.  That was my fault caused by a quick skimming of topics on my phone to begin with, then not paying attention when on my computer until someone else brought it up.

 

I hope you still enjoyed Yellowstone.  It's a great park.

[MotherGoose]

I had a stranger come up to me and my very young baby in the produce section at the grocery store, ask if he had been baptized yet, and when I said no (we're Jewish/areligious, but apparently I failed to mention that in my post-childbirth state) she informed me she was an Episcopal priest and announced that she would baptize him. So she did. At least I think she did--I really have no idea about such things.

I think the "episcopal priest" was delusional. No legitimate priest would do this.

[regentrude]

In India a guy claiming to be a priest prayed over me and gave me something and told me to eat it.  I was like ummm....  My Indian friend told me I have to eat it since it is "God food" and the priest would be extremely offended if I didn't.  So I pretended.  :p

 

I had a stranger approach us at a tourist destination here in the US, wanting to pray over my niece who was visiting from Germany. But at least she asked. My niece was flabbergasted and stammered permission (things like this do not happen back home). So she was prayed over by this random woman. But no God food.

[EKS]

I think the "episcopal priest" was delusional. No legitimate priest would do this.

 

We live in a smallish town, and through the magic of Facebook, I have since discovered her name--she actually is (or was, she's retired now).

Edited September 15, 2017 by EKS

[StephanieZ]

I think it's a bit nuts to freak out about tourists taking your kid's picture . . .  

 

But, if you really don't want your kids' pictures taken, I suggest getting your kid a large floppy hat and sunglasses. Cover up their cuteness, and nobody will try to take their pictures. 

[HS Mom in NC]

It just goes to show that conscientious travelers look into these things before heading out. IT wouldn't be a big deal to me.

People really should be aware of cultural norms regarding photography.  Here in AZ, photography is not allowed in the Hopi nation. It's a religious issue for them, not a small matter.  In other tribes it varies, so you are expected to ask permission before photographing a Native American.  Don't be surprised if one charges you money for the privilege-some will.

Here in the US it's generally accepted as polite to get someone's permission before photographing them-especially if they're strangers but other places it could be different.  Keep in mind it goes both ways.   Don't go visiting other places snapping pics of people  without permission and expecting everyone to be OK with it.

My youngest, a Korean adoptee, was with us at a local park for a Korean cultural event with other Korean adoptees.  Traditional dancers were flown in from South Korea to perform.  A few of them gathered near us, looking at us and talking and pointing.  Finally someone translated and said, "Your [Korean] daughter is very beautiful.  Can we take a picture of her?" I appreciated the fact that they asked, so it's clear someone somewhere had prepped them for American cultural norms.  Note to self, make sure we do that before we travel abroad.

My brother and I were blond as children (early 1970s)  and it wasn't unusual for older Mexicans to want to rub the top of our heads for good luck.  My mother told us we could say firmly, "Don't touch my head." if we didn't want them to if she wasn't there to say it for us. 

Yes, other cultures and sub-cultures are different, but no one is obligated to sit passively while someone does something uncomfortable to them. You can legally photograph someone without their permission, but they don't have to like it and they can tell you to knock it off or that you're an obnoxious jerk and there's nothing you can do about it either.

[MotherGoose]

It's definitely not just tourists.

 

We lived in San Antonio for four years. Hispanic members of our Catholic church often asked to touch my white haired, blue eyed little toddler. They loved to rub his head. I thought it was sweet.

But they asked, and presumably you said yes, not screamed no. :)

[MotherGoose]

We live in a smallish town, and through the magic of Facebook, I have since discovered her name--she actually is (or was, she's retired now).

That is bizarre behavior for a priest then. Clearly she doesn't take the sacrament seriously! I mean did she have water and oil and stuff in her purse and you hung around while she used them?

[EKS]

That is bizarre behavior for a priest then. Clearly she doesn't take the sacrament seriously! I mean did she have water and oil and stuff in her purse and you hung around while she used them?

 

This was 15 years ago, and I was totally sleep deprived, so my memory may be faulty, but I do remember her saying something and doing something to his head.  I don't remember any substances like oil or water, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.  It didn't take very long.

[SKL]

That is bizarre behavior for a priest then. Clearly she doesn't take the sacrament seriously! I mean did she have water and oil and stuff in her purse and you hung around while she used them?

 

This reminds me of a time we took an elderly Indian couple on a cruise to the Bahamas.  On the boat, they met a guy of mixed heritage and some unusual religious stripe who lived in FL.  The elder Indian guy and the FL guy hit it off so well, we were all invited to the FL couple's house.  There they showed us around and the FL guy told us he was some sort of religious leader, I don't remember all the details.  Before we left he insisted on blessing our rental car.  He asked his wife if they had any holy water, and she went into the bathroom and emerged with a small bottle of water.  (Do people keep holy water in the bathroom?)  The guy sprinkled the "holy water" on our car and we were on our way. 

 

The whole time I was wondering what the FL guy was trying to get from us or do to us, but no harm was done.  It just felt really strange.

 

[Debbi in Texas]

I'm gobsmacked by the responses in this thread. OP, yes, I would have been VERY upset over this incident. I don't think you're crazy at all.

 

I agree! I would have been very upset also, OP.

 

[HS Mom in NC]

Let's not portray general photography as what happened in the OP.  Too many people are doing that in their responses.

It's one thing to have a foreign visitor take a pic when the parent said no because they don't speak the language and don't understand.  That's not what the OP is talking about and we all know it if we read the OP.  

It's a completely different issue when the child is being physically chased by a stranger and the mother has physically put herself between the visitor and the child to block the shot and the visitor is trying to get the shot from an angle around her.  There's no legitimate excuse for that.  Foreign visitors aren't backwater rubes completely clueless.  That's a clear indication, regardless of your culture, that the people involved are not happy about it so go take a pic of some other kid who's OK with it and his/her parents aren't trying to physically stop it from happening. 

Sheesh!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Here are my points:

 

The OP added to a dangerous situation by not just scooping the child up.  Her stance and yells most likely made the child more scared and did nothing to deter the tourist.  Personally I wouldn't get all freaked out by a photograph but with my anxious children, showing anxiety like that of my own would have made a bad situation so much worse.  There are ways to advocate for your child without adding to the drama.  

 

My dd was terrified of people in animal suits.  At Disneyland, Chip and Dale and other characters were kind enough to veer off with a general wave off from me done nicely from a distance.  But our local mall's Easter Bunny did not get the hint.  He kept coming and coming despite me even calling out that she was afraid and could he please not come any closer.  Poor dd's anxious response to a giant rabbit stalking her was to "ribbit" loudly as he approached.  (We still tease her about this. ;)  )  I could have done what the OP did, made a big scene by yelling and getting between her and the Easter Bunny.  Or I could have quietly waved at the EB while picking dd up and disappearing into a store where he did not follow us.  He was trying to be nice and meant no harm.  This tourist meant no harm even if she was selfishly focused on her photo.  It generally works out better in life to give people some benefit of the doubt while still maintaining your boundaries.  And it works out better for anxious children to keep the drama to a minimum while also working over time to give them the skills to handle these situations on their own.

 

A country's embassy has no control over individual tourist's behavior.  Writing them might feel like advocating but it actually does nothing.  It teaches the child nothing.  But other than thinking that it is a waste of time, I have no problem with the OP doing it if she thinks that she must.  BTW - calling out "people from other nations" for what one person did is a  "tarring everyone with the same brush" kind of an approach. 

[Valley Girl]

 It generally works out better in life to give people some benefit of the doubt while still maintaining your boundaries.  And it works out better for anxious children to keep the drama to a minimum while also working over time to give them the skills to handle these situations on their own.

 

 

 

I may be in the minority, but in my opinion, the person who deserves the benefit of the doubt in this situation is the OP.

 

While your suggestion on how to handle things is certainly a good one, we don't know all the nitty gritty details of what happened. I'm trying to put myself in the OP's shoes. How would I respond in the seconds during which I saw what was happening?

 

Were her hands free so that she could immediately pick the child up? Was she tending to other children when this happened? Was she just a couple of feet away, or was shouting and trying to put herself in front of the child all she could do? Was there an immediate safety hazard that the tourist's reckless behavior--and CHASING that child was reckless--made even more dangerous? Was the parent sure a photo was the only thing this person wanted? (I think we've all probably seen the video awhile back of the creep who tried to drag a kid from the store in full view of the mother.) Had the tourist been harassing them or other people earlier? "No" means "no." Period. Full stop. Isn't that what is always touted on this board? If the tourist didn't have the foresight to master a couple of basic phrases (which I think anybody traveling where a different language is the norm should do), that's not the OP's responsibility. 

 

We all know what to do in hindsight. Being perfectly correct and diplomatic when you see a group of women chasing your child and then have one trying to do an end run around you is a heck of a lot harder.

 

Anyway, it's been an interesting and educational thread. I don't mean that in a snarky way. I've learned a lot about other cultures and the different boundaries and expectations they have. Knowledge is a good thing.

[Guest]

I have to wonder if the direction of this thread would have been different if it was a man chasing the child for a picture instead of a woman. For some reason, it feels like because it was a woman people are giving her a pass.

[Xahm]

I think part of the reason for the direction of the thread is the title. The situation of one extremely aggressive picture taker does not go well with the title of "people from other nations." The impression I got was that the op really doesn't like people taking her kids' picture, as certain nationalities frequently do, and then this one aggressive woman pushed her past her tolerance limit. Because the thread's title focuses on the first part, that's where the responses have focused.

Edited September 16, 2017 by xahm

[catz]

I think part of the reason for the direction of the thread is the title. The situation of one extremely aggressive picture taker does not go well with the title of "people from other nations." The impression I got was that the op really doesn't like people taking her kids' picture, as certain nationalities frequently do, and then this one aggressive woman pushed her past her tolerance limit. Because the thread's title focuses on the first part, that's where the responses have focused.

This.

[tiddles]

I was on a plane (not in the US) full of Korean tourists. They all went absolutely gaga over my 2 small kids - neither are blond or blue-eyed. It wasn't unnerving, just weird, like they'd never seen kids before. 

 

Or maybe I just have the cutest kids in the world :smilielol5:

Edited September 17, 2017 by tiddles

[HS Mom in NC]

The OP was very clear about the chasing and going around her body in the original post, so no one was misled by the title.  It was clarified in the first post.  Everyone here has the necessary reading comprehension skills to understand how extreme it was. 

Now let's all discuss being an American tourist in an Asian country, trying to photograph an Asian child who runs away, chasing the Asian child, the Asian mother puts herself between the American tourist and the Asian child.  What exactly would posters here call that?  A cultural difference that the Asian mother should just tolerate? No, of course not.  We'd call that embarrassing ugly American behavior that reflects badly on Americans as a whole. Remember, it's the chasing and going around the mother at issue here far more than initially trying to take a picture from a distance.   Yeah, the photo thing is annoying and cultural, but the chasing and going around mom is just jerk behavior no matter who does it or where they're from. We've all been to touristy areas and we don't see Asian tourists chasing people.   No one here would say there are cultural issues that cause chasing a stranger's child and trying to get around a mother blocking the behavior.  If you want to go there then please specify in which country it's normalized to chase a stranger's child for a photo.

 

[SKL]

Again, I don't see how the tourist was supposed to know who the child's mother was.  Stepping sideways to get a photo of something that another person is blocking is not unusual or aggressive behavior.

 

As for "chasing," maybe it's just me but I see the word used for a range of behavior, including targeted following.  Not sure exactly how to picture the "chasing" in the OP, but I didn't assume actual running by the adult.  I would agree that actual running after someone else's kid is strange.

 

The OP later said she would still be "enraged" if the person tried to take her child's picture from a distance.  Therefore I think her issue is the fact of people taking a photo, and I don't understand that, but maybe I am dense.  I do know that it is getting common in the US to be afraid of kids' photos being taken, so perhaps we are more aware of this concern than people in other countries.

 

My kids are not blonde, nor am I, so I can't say whether this behavior targeted at blondes is common or not in the various countries we've traveled to.

 

And no, I don't think my reaction would be different if the tourist were male.