about that shoe thread......

[Denisemomof4]

some of you are taking it a bit too far.

 

I thought I was clear that I have mostly WOOD flooring, but have a WOOL area rug that I try to protect - it's ONE THING I LOVE. Ok, maybe I should just roll it up for the night. I offered to host this group because I have the largest home, am central to everyone, and my home is open concept and could hold shoes for 100 people. I truly want to bless everyone. Food and drink WILL be eaten in areas, all but the area with the wool rug, unless I roll it up, - but I only have a chaisse there which I throw all coats on so nobody will eat there anyway.

 

FWIW, I have SEVERE foot pain while walking without shoes on any surface but sand. I will ache for a day without foot rubs, hot soaks, pain relievers. I have only one brand of shoe that has relieved my pain. But for me PERSONALLY I would rather endure pain than cause work to someone or disrespect them.

 

AND - take this into consideration. I have a post and beam home. I have one support beam which is in the middle of nowhere and a granite hearth. I've had more heads cracked on those surfaces from walking with WET SHOES or from kids running - HENCE THE NO SHOE/NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE rule. My own kids have been harmed from lack of this rule.

 

I had NO idea this was such a hot topic and am truly surprised that some would take my "no shoes policy" as an "I'm not as concerned about you as I am about stuff" policy. Anyone who knows me personally would ream anyone who said that about me.

 

I'm sure I'll regret posting this.

[Denisemomof4]

OMG. I just realized I need to start on PAGE 11 and have a LONG way to go until I'm done reading!

 

I try to please everyone, but I have to say that I don't remember anything getting my goat like this thread has. Maybe I'm just so sensitive because I've spent the past week in the hospital helping mom, and have had to deal with two neurotic, mentally ill siblings all week. I love my sister, but she has a way of causing me to want to skewer my eyes, and throw in some brain matter, and grill them until they're burnt beyond recognition.

 

Did I really say that?

 

and about those cold feet - my issue too. I grin and bear it at other's house out of respect for them but at my house it won't be a problem. I grew up in CA and now happily live in NH with my cozy wood burning stove. My sister brings summer clothing when she's at my house.

 

Most people coming know me so it's not an issue, but there are a few families I've never met. I want to be nothing but welcoming and LOVE the basket of items for one to use, if I'm able to get out of the house.

 

Honestly, I don't think I've ever felt so vulnerable, tired, worried...... in all my life.

 

Know what usually happens in those circumstances? I cry at the drop of a hat OR laugh uncontrollably. Lately I hear this yelling that I'm not used to.

 

Seriously now, that laughing out of control has recently caused other "things" to escape that were simply never intended.............. and SO EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But funny nevertheless.....

 

 

:thumbup:

Edited February 10, 2009 by Denisemomof4

[Colleen]

You are dealing with some very difficult things, Denise, and if I were in your shoes (ahem...no pun intended;)), I'd be stressed, too. Asking a seemingly inocuous question and being inundated with replies and advice is of course going to increase your stress level. But discussions here have a tendency to take on a life of their own and rabbit trails abound. Many of the comments in that thread were general; I'm sure no one intended to make negative insinuations about you. Still, as I say, it can be difficult ~ especially when you're stressed and nervous ~ to see an innocent question dissected.

 

Having said that, I do want to remind you that you asked for opinions. You wanted to know if we consider it rude to ask people to remove their shoes upon entering your home. You specifically asked, "Am I being selfish or rude?". It stands to reason that some people will be honest with you and say, "Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do think it's selfish and/or rude". You also said you don't want to seem uninviting; you want to be hospitable. Again, people were honest and let you know if they would feel uncomfortable with such a request.

 

Your post here (the first in this thread) comes across very differently from your initial question. You're now providing multiple reasons why you think shoes in the house aren't a good idea. You've implied that you've really already decided to maintain a "no shoes policy". And that's fine! Truly! As the host, you need to be comfortable in order to be hospitable. So go ahead with what works for you; you will no doubt be blessing many people in doing so. But please don't be upset with people here for simply answering a point-blank question, or for offering their honest opinion when asked.:)

Edited February 10, 2009 by Colleen

[buddhabelly]

here in Alaska, it would be very rude to NOT remove your shoes upon entering a house. It creeps my son out that his grandmother in California (and actually his other grandmother in New Jersey too) keeps her shoes on in her own house. It just seems dirty to us.

 

I think it's the same in Hawaii, but perhaps those folks piped up in the other thread. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

 

Go see "Rachel Getting Married." It will make your own life seem so easy. :tongue_smilie:

 

Julie

[Lovedtodeath]

As long as my polio suffering family members can still feel comfortable wearing their shoes with braces on them, I am okay with you making everyone else, including me take their shoes off.

 

I am amazed that the shoe thread got that many responses.

 

You are stressed out over many things and starting this under those circumstances.

[Denisemomof4]

You are dealing with some very difficult things, Denise, and if I were in your shoes (ahem...no pun intended;)), I'd be stressed, too. Asking a seemingly inocuous question and being inundated with replies and advice is of course going to increase your stress level. But discussions here have a tendency to take on a life of their own and rabbit trails abound. Many of the comments in that thread were general; I'm sure no one intended to make negative insinuations about you. Still, as I say, it can be difficult ~ especially when you're stressed and nervous ~ to see an innocent question dissected.

 

Having said that, I do want to remind you that you asked for opinions. You wanted to know if we consider it rude to ask people to remove their shoes upon entering your home. You specifically asked, "Am I being selfish or rude?". It stands to reason that some people will be honest with you and say, "Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do think it's selfish and/or rude". You also said you don't want to seem uninviting; you want to be hospitable. Again, people were honest and let you know if they would feel uncomfortable with such a request.

 

Your post here (the first in this thread) comes across very differently from your initial question. You're now providing multiple reasons why you think shoes in the house aren't a good idea. You've implied that you've really already decided to maintain a "no shoes policy". And that's fine! Truly! As the host, you need to be comfortable in order to be hospitable. So go ahead with what works for you; you will no doubt be blessing many people in doing so. But please don't be upset with people here for simply answering a point-blank question, or for offering their honest opinion when asked.:)

 

Colleen,

 

Can I be like you when I grow up?

 

I guess the "no shoes policy" started when my kids were younger and they, and their friends, were cracking their heads open on the beams/granite. Also, the large open space has a way of making kids, especially, run. And running on wood floors in socks or WET shoes inevitably = injuries.

 

I've decided on a large mat for wet shoes, a baset of socks/slippers for those who want them, and a gate at the stairs because I don't want teens escaping upstairs alone. BUT, during mudseason there's NO SHOES allowed in my house.

 

:001_smile:

[Denisemomof4]

here in Alaska, it would be very rude to NOT remove your shoes upon entering a house. It creeps my son out that his grandmother in California (and actually his other grandmother in New Jersey too) keeps her shoes on in her own house. It just seems dirty to us.

 

I think it's the same in Hawaii, but perhaps those folks piped up in the other thread. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

 

Go see "Rachel Getting Married." It will make your own life seem so easy. :tongue_smilie:

 

Julie

 

ok, now in CA and AZ we did not remove shoes. In HI we didn't but on Homes and Gardens they suggested NOT to do so was rude. :tongue_smilie: In NH it seems that the pristine of the home is what deciphers this decision, which makes me mad. I take my shoes off to show respect in ANY home, and in my home when they automatically do it I sometimes feel sad but do appreciate it.

 

But I am truly overwhelmed and unsure of how I'll handle all that I've got to deal with at the moment and didn't realize that asking someone to remove their shoes may somehow be perceived as something other than what MY truth is.

 

Oh, I'm so tired after spending so many hours at the ER. Can anyone relate?

[Colleen]

Can I be like you when I grow up?

 

Well, some would say growing up first isn't required.:tongue_smilie:

 

I've decided on a large mat for wet shoes, a baset of socks/slippers for those who want them, and a gate at the stairs because I don't want teens escaping upstairs alone. BUT, during mudseason there's NO SHOES allowed in my house.

 

There ya go! Problem solved. Now don't give it another thought. That's an order! You're phenomenal for hosting and your hospitality will be much appreciated.

[Danestress]

I've definitely done the same thing - asked something that I thought I would get a little encouragement or positive feedback from, and then found that the answers were really hard to read and somewhat distressing. I'm sorry that you had that experience! I'm sure no one meant to make you personally feel badly about the question.

 

I'm also sorry that you have so much on your plate. It was really nice of you to offer to host such a big event when you are already under a lot of pressure, and if having people take their shoes off makes you feel more comfortable, then do it! It's okay. Yes, some people will think it's odd or won't like it, but that's life. I was one who said I would have to go home, and I would. But you know what? I am just one person with bad feet, and there have been many great parties in the world, without me:) I would not in any way think less of you for having that policy. In fact, I think shoes in the house is kind of gross, but for me, they are necessary.

 

. But for me PERSONALLY I would rather endure pain than cause work to someone or disrespect them.

 

 

I do think you need to reflect a bit on this particular statement. First, no one means you any disrespect wearing shoes inside. If you ask and they still do it, then yes, that would be not respecting your rules, but I am sure no one in your church would do that. But in general, in the absense of a rule, wearing shoes is in no way meant to be disrespectful to a hostess.

 

I also think that the nature of hospitality is that you do a lot of work so that others will enjoy it. You don't let anyone endure any pain at all if you can help it. You get them drinks, you make snacks if dinner will be late, you clean before they come and after the leave, iron sheets for overnighters - it's ALL work. I honestly think that if you attitude is "they should suffer rather than let me do any extra work" then maybe you aren't in a really great hostessing frame of mind, and I say that gently and with a conviction that choosing not to hostess something isn't wrong. Sometimes we are just over burderened already. I've hostessed a few big church-wide events, and it's a lot of work and sacrifice and not to sound like a martyr, but I would be very very upset if someone suffered something in silence in order to save me some work. I hostess as a gift, and I want it to be a real blessing to my guests. But having said that, I am NOT saying that you shouldn't have the shoe rule. It's your house and it's a good rule in many ways and you have good reasons to have it.

[happyWImom]

Don't take it so personally. Remember, no one here knows you personally, and maybe some are reacting to negative experiences they've had with the whole shoe thing, I don't know.

 

Anyway, it is your house, your rules! And, remember "You can never please all of the people all of the time"! Right?

 

So-:grouphug::grouphug: I hope you are able to de-stress and forget about your troubles for a while.

[OnTheBrink]

:grouphug:

[kaylk in tx]

(and i think it is if i'm remembering your original post from the other thread correctly), i would approach the group and ask for 2-3 volunteers each time to come a little early to help set up and to stay a little late to help clean up. AND to have other people bringing snacks and drinks. if you're providing a place for a church function, i don't think you should have to be responsible for everything. if it was a one time deal, yes... but not if it's going to be every couple weeks! then you'd feel much more relaxed about everything knowing it isn't going to completely drain you when you already have so much going on!

[newbie]

Colleen,

 

Can I be like you when I grow up?

 

I guess the "no shoes policy" started when my kids were younger and they, and their friends, were cracking their heads open on the beams/granite. Also, the large open space has a way of making kids, especially, run. And running on wood floors in socks or WET shoes inevitably = injuries.

 

I've decided on a large mat for wet shoes, a baset of socks/slippers for those who want them, and a gate at the stairs because I don't want teens escaping upstairs alone. BUT, during mudseason there's NO SHOES allowed in my house.

 

:001_smile:

 

I didnt post on the loooong thread, because I am a NO SHOE gal, I have no qualms about making my point made. Sometimes I feel bad, but its my house, and I have to live here.

 

You have sooooo much on your plate, your ideas are perfect, and if someone doesnt like it, tough.

 

I pray your mom does better and is out of hospital soon. And, yes siblings su*, its amazing you can have more in common w/a stranger than blood.

I hope everything goes better.

[Colleen]

(and i think it is if i'm remembering your original post from the other thread correctly), i would approach the group and ask for 2-3 volunteers each time to come a little early to help set up and to stay a little late to help clean up. AND to have other people bringing snacks and drinks. if you're providing a place for a church function, i don't think you should have to be responsible for everything. if it was a one time deal, yes... but not if it's going to be every couple weeks!

 

I am wondering, too, if others will be lending a hand ~ which is certainly as it should be. In fact, I'd feel rather uncomfortable if I participated in this and knew one person (or family) was exclusively shouldering the burden. Denise, don't try to do it all yourself. Share the wealth.;)

[SapphireStitch]

:grouphug: I didn't read the original thread, and I will tell you why I didn't. This subject has come up on several boards I participate on, and each time it has been one of the worst topics for hurt feelings.

 

I swear that I would rather see: Mac vs. PC, Arminianism vs. Calvinism, Republican vs. Democrat, or vegan vs. hunter come up as an issue on a board than the shoes vs. no shoes debate. People get downright nasty about it...for some reason it just must hit at a primal area of our emotions.

 

If I'm understand the messages in this thread correctly, you are opening your home to a group of people on a regular basis and this is part of a church ministry? My advice would be to just focus on that as much as possible, ask the Lord to give you clarity of thought in how to manage the material things He's given you while still being a blessing to others. Focus on showing His love to others while at the same time showing His love to your family in the maintenance of your home. He will give you the wisdom to decide what is best, and it will work out to His glory ultimately.

 

As for this board, I would PM a moderator and ask them to remove the original thread. Pray for peace in your own heart, and try to forgive those who offended you. :grouphug:

[Sarah CB]

OMG. I just realized I need to start on PAGE 11 and have a LONG way to go until I'm done reading!

 

I try to please everyone, but I have to say that I don't remember anything getting my goat like this thread has. Maybe I'm just so sensitive because I've spent the past week in the hospital helping mom, and have had to deal with two neurotic, mentally ill siblings all week. I love my sister, but she has a way of causing me to want to skewer my eyes, and throw in some brain matter, and grill them until they're burnt beyond recognition.

 

Did I really say that?

 

and about those cold feet - my issue too. I grin and bear it at other's house out of respect for them but at my house it won't be a problem. I grew up in CA and now happily live in NH with my cozy wood burning stove. My sister brings summer clothing when she's at my house.

 

Most people coming know me so it's not an issue, but there are a few families I've never met. I want to be nothing but welcoming and LOVE the basket of items for one to use, if I'm able to get out of the house.

 

Honestly, I don't think I've ever felt so vulnerable, tired, worried...... in all my life.

 

Know what usually happens in those circumstances? I cry at the drop of a hat OR laugh uncontrollably. Lately I hear this yelling that I'm not used to.

 

Seriously now, that laughing out of control has recently caused other "things" to escape that were simply never intended.............. and SO EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But funny nevertheless.....

 

 

:thumbup:

 

:grouphug:

 

My goodness, Denise, I'm sorry about that thread. Please know that there are many people who would consider it incredibly rude to walk into someone's home with outdoor shoes on, tracking in whatever they recently walked in.

 

I keep my floors clean enough so that people can sit on them, play on them, or drop a piece of food and still eat it (for the most part :)). I would be horrified if someone sat down on my carpet or flooring and got dirt on their clothing from someone else's shoe - I would consider that very inhospitable of me.

 

When I go to people's houses I always take off my shoes and in the summertime I often carry a pair of thick socks in my purse because I really don't like having bare feet in other people's homes.

 

I understand that this can be a cultural thing - I lived in England for two years and people didn't take off their shoes - even if it was muddy and raining outside. They'd wipe them on the mat but wiping never got everything off and then I'd have to wash everything down again before I could let my baby crawl on the floor. I'm glad we're back in Canada where people do take off their shoes.

[newbie]

I love your point Sapphire, but I think deleting a thread is not the way, we all open ourselves up to different viewpoints..when we post. If you get tomatoes,, make spaghetti sauce.

 

This is a discussion board, and everyone is different.

[newbie]

:grouphug:

 

My goodness, Denise, I'm sorry about that thread. Please know that there are many people who would consider it incredibly rude to walk into someone's home with outdoor shoes on, tracking in whatever they recently walked in.

 

I keep my floors clean enough so that people can sit on them, play on them, or drop a piece of food and still eat it (for the most part :)). I would be horrified if someone sat down on my carpet or flooring and got dirt on their clothing from someone else's shoe - I would consider that very inhospitable of me.

 

When I go to people's houses I always take off my shoes and in the summertime I often carry a pair of thick socks in my purse because I really don't like having bare feet in other people's homes.

 

I understand that this can be a cultural thing - I lived in England for two years and people didn't take off their shoes - even if it was muddy and raining outside. They'd wipe them on the mat but wiping never got everything off and then I'd have to wash everything down again before I could let my baby crawl on the floor. I'm glad we're back in Canada where people do take off their shoes.

 

This reminds me of a funny, we had a gas leak, a couple mos. back and the firemen came, and I told them to take off their boots before entering.

 

They were mortified, I could care less. Plus, they were not too smart, they took shoes off outside, than stepped outside w/socks and than into house. Crazy.

 

I know I am going to get thrown tomatoes. But, its a sunny day in Ca today.

[hornblower]

I'm glad we're back in Canada where people do take off their shoes.

 

Now that's a bit of a generalization! :D

We don't. Maybe it's because of the British influence here......

[Kelli in TN]

Denise, don't take it personally. This topic has been coming up from time to time for YEARS on this board. It is one of the topics you can depend on to get long and sometimes heated. Don't get your feelings hurt, do what you want with your own house and those who, like me, would find that uncomfortable, can stay home if they want to!!

 

If you hang out on these boards long enough you will see some surprising conversations and responses here. We are diverse and there is a diversity of opinion!!

[MomOfOneFunOne]

some of you are taking it a bit too far.

 

I thought I was clear that I have mostly WOOD flooring, but have a WOOL area rug that I try to protect - it's ONE THING I LOVE. Ok, maybe I should just roll it up for the night. I offered to host this group because I have the largest home, am central to everyone, and my home is open concept and could hold shoes for 100 people. I truly want to bless everyone. Food and drink WILL be eaten in areas, all but the area with the wool rug, unless I roll it up, - but I only have a chaisse there which I throw all coats on so nobody will eat there anyway.

 

FWIW, I have SEVERE foot pain while walking without shoes on any surface but sand. I will ache for a day without foot rubs, hot soaks, pain relievers. I have only one brand of shoe that has relieved my pain. But for me PERSONALLY I would rather endure pain than cause work to someone or disrespect them.

 

AND - take this into consideration. I have a post and beam home. I have one support beam which is in the middle of nowhere and a granite hearth. I've had more heads cracked on those surfaces from walking with WET SHOES or from kids running - HENCE THE NO SHOE/NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE rule. My own kids have been harmed from lack of this rule.

 

I had NO idea this was such a hot topic and am truly surprised that some would take my "no shoes policy" as an "I'm not as concerned about you as I am about stuff" policy. Anyone who knows me personally would ream anyone who said that about me.

 

I'm sure I'll regret posting this.

 

Denise, you asked! I wonder if you didn't really want my opinion but in fact wanted someone to commiserate with. I can understand that. Maybe next time you could just ask the ppl who "require" guests to remove shoes before enter their houses to respond.

 

That doesn't really work, though. I remember someone posted *specifically* to people who don't let their kids have much in the way of technology. She specifically wanted fellow non-techies to pop in and be supportive. It pretty much went the way of your post but it shouldn't have b/c she specifically asked for ppl who were in the same boat as she.

 

Can't make everyone happy.

 

I just though that when you asked for my opinion you actually wanted it and that you were trying to decide if you wanted to go so far as to require your guests to remove their shoes or not. It just seems that you didn't get the answer you wanted and were offended that when some of us said that it is offensive to us and sends us the message that you care more for your carpet than your guests. I didn't mean to offend you. I wanted to help you. I'm sorry I didn't do that.

[Tree House Academy]

I didn't respond to the 20 page debate post in regards to shoes because I figure, at this point, any comment is lost there. I will say here that I, as a guest in someone's home, try to be respectful. If they are standing there in sock feet, I will take off my shoes and tell my kids to do the same. If they have their shoes on, I wipe my feet at the door and go on it - again, telling my kids to do the same.

 

In my home, we wear shoes. We have hardwood floors and I get low back pain if I walk about barefoot too much. But, one night in someone's home is not going to kill my back with my shoes off. I say just to make it clear when people enter. A guy I dated in highschool, his mom actually had a "mud room" and there were cubbies on the wall for shoes! There was a chair in the corner, a large open coat closet with empty hangers on one wall and the shoe cubbies on the other wall. It was more than obvious that one needed to remove their shoes there before going any further.

[Sarah CB]

Now that's a bit of a generalization! :D

We don't. Maybe it's because of the British influence here......

 

Perhaps. I've lived in three different provinces and have never, ever had someone walk into our house with their shoes on. I've never asked anyone to take shoes off and I've never had a sign up or a pile of shoes at the door. And I've never been told by anyone to leave my shoes on :) I suppose I did generalize, but in my experience I've never seen anyone with outdoor shoes on in a house.

 

Actually, last summer I often told people to leave their shoes on to walk from our front door to our back patio door (as they were just on their way to our backyard) and most people took their shoes off and carried them rather than walk on the floors (wood and tile) with ourdoor shoes on.

 

Maybe you've got a pocket of shoe wearing over where you are. :D

[Sarah CB]

Denise, don't take it personally. This topic has been coming up from time to time for YEARS on this board. It is one of the topics you can depend on to get long and sometimes heated. Don't get your feelings hurt, do what you want with your own house and those who, like me, would find that uncomfortable, can stay home if they want to!!

 

If you hang out on these boards long enough you will see some surprising conversations and responses here. We are diverse and there is a diversity of opinion!!

 

And isn't it the weirdest thing to have a hot topic about? Shoes on/shoes off is right up there with Harry Potter and participating in Halloween.

[5kidsforME]

some of you are taking it a bit too far.

 

I thought I was clear that I have mostly WOOD flooring, but have a WOOL area rug that I try to protect - it's ONE THING I LOVE. Ok, maybe I should just roll it up for the night. I offered to host this group because I have the largest home, am central to everyone, and my home is open concept and could hold shoes for 100 people. I truly want to bless everyone. Food and drink WILL be eaten in areas, all but the area with the wool rug, unless I roll it up, - but I only have a chaisse there which I throw all coats on so nobody will eat there anyway.

 

FWIW, I have SEVERE foot pain while walking without shoes on any surface but sand. I will ache for a day without foot rubs, hot soaks, pain relievers. I have only one brand of shoe that has relieved my pain. But for me PERSONALLY I would rather endure pain than cause work to someone or disrespect them.

 

AND - take this into consideration. I have a post and beam home. I have one support beam which is in the middle of nowhere and a granite hearth. I've had more heads cracked on those surfaces from walking with WET SHOES or from kids running - HENCE THE NO SHOE/NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE rule. My own kids have been harmed from lack of this rule.

 

I had NO idea this was such a hot topic and am truly surprised that some would take my "no shoes policy" as an "I'm not as concerned about you as I am about stuff" policy. Anyone who knows me personally would ream anyone who said that about me.

 

I'm sure I'll regret posting this.

 

So if someone else has SEVERE foot pain you would want them to suffer through because in your estimation YOU PERSONALLY would rather endure the pain so as not to cause more work or be a burden to someone else?

 

Sorry but that sounds like a load of crap.

 

I would not be able to stand it if I thought there might be 1 person in the 100 that are coming that would be in severe pain. All of my work and thoughtfulness for the 99 would go out the window if I caused 1 person SEVERE pain becuase I wanted my day to be a little easier.

 

My suggestion, don't have the gathering, its too much of a burden for you.

[newbie]

So if someone else has SEVERE foot pain you would want them to suffer through because in your estimation YOU PERSONALLY would rather endure the pain so as not to cause more work or be a burden to someone else?

 

Sorry but that sounds like a load of crap.

 

I would not be able to stand it if I thought there might be 1 person in the 100 that are coming that would be in severe pain. All of my work and thoughtfulness for the 99 would go out the window if I caused 1 person SEVERE pain becuase I wanted my day to be a little easier.

 

My suggestion, don't have the gathering, its too much of a burden for you.

 

Wow, if my feet would hurt severely I would not go. I am sure people will be fine for a couple of hrs.

[5kidsforME]

Wow, if my feet would hurt severely I would not go. I am sure people will be fine for a couple of hrs.

 

.

Edited February 10, 2009 by Momto4kids
double post

[5kidsforME]

Wow, if my feet would hurt severely I would not go. I am sure people will be fine for a couple of hrs.

 

Some people can not take off their orthodic shoes except at night when they go to bed.

[newbie]

Some people can not take off their orthodic shoes except at night when they go to bed.

 

Sorry, I did not know, thats pretty extreme. The chances are probably pretty slim that there is one in the bunch, unless I missed something in the thread.

 

I still think she should have a nice time, and it is a nonissue.

[5kidsforME]

Sorry, I did not know, thats pretty extreme. The chances are probably pretty slim that there is one in the bunch, unless I missed something in the thread.

 

I still think she should have a nice time, and it is a nonissue.

 

The OP HERSELF has SEVERE foot pain. I would think someone with SEVERE (her word not mine, her emphasis not mine) foot pain would stop and realize there may be other people besides her that have this issue.

 

If this is supposed to be a "church" setting, I would think you would do everything possible to make it comfortable for everyone coming.

[Sarah CB]

So if someone else has SEVERE foot pain you would want them to suffer through because in your estimation YOU PERSONALLY would rather endure the pain so as not to cause more work or be a burden to someone else?

 

Sorry but that sounds like a load of crap.

 

I would not be able to stand it if I thought there might be 1 person in the 100 that are coming that would be in severe pain. All of my work and thoughtfulness for the 99 would go out the window if I caused 1 person SEVERE pain becuase I wanted my day to be a little easier.

 

My suggestion, don't have the gathering, its too much of a burden for you.

 

I think that's a little harsh. If I had severe footpain that required me to wear orthopedic shoes and they were expensive enough that I could only afford one pair then I'd call ahead and explain to the hostess that I wouldn't be able to take my shoes off at her house because of my condition. I'm sure that the OP would either be able to come up with a solution (like offer to use baby wipes or something to wipe off the bottom of the guest's shoes or have those little booties that go over shoes) or decide that one guest wearing shoes in the house wouldn't be a huge big deal.

[newbie]

The OP HERSELF has SEVERE foot pain. I would think someone with SEVERE (her word not mine, her emphasis not mine) foot pain would stop and realize there may be other people besides her that have this issue.

 

If this is supposed to be a "church" setting, I would think you would do everything possible to make it comfortable for everyone coming.

 

Megan,

I can see your point, but I still think odds are low. And I am sure, church or not she wants to make everyone comfortable always.

[5kidsforME]

Megan,

I can see your point, but I still think odds are low. And I am sure, church or not she wants to make everyone comfortable always.

 

Obviously not. Seriously, if she wanted everyone to feel comfortable she would let people do what they feel comfortable with.

 

I don't think Jesus would have made everyone take off their shoes or made them put on booties before they came into his house. Just sayin.

 

To me if you have that much going on in your life that you are stressing about foot traffic, it is too much of a burden.

 

I also can see that the OP has A LOT going on, seriously, probably not the best time to be having a 100 people over to your house all the time.

Edited February 10, 2009 by Momto4kids

[bumbledeb]

I think that's a little harsh. If I had severe footpain that required me to wear orthopedic shoes and they were expensive enough that I could only afford one pair then I'd call ahead and explain to the hostess that I wouldn't be able to take my shoes off at her house because of my condition. I'm sure that the OP would either be able to come up with a solution (like offer to use baby wipes or something to wipe off the bottom of the guest's shoes or have those little booties that go over shoes) or decide that one guest wearing shoes in the house wouldn't be a huge big deal.

 

The thing is, if it is not usual in the OP's social circle to remove shoes upon entering the house, it seems unlikely that anyone would know or think to call ahead. It wouldn't occur to me to mention this sort of thing where we live.

[unsinkable]

This reminds me of a funny, we had a gas leak, a couple mos. back and the firemen came, and I told them to take off their boots before entering.

 

They were mortified, I could care less. Plus, they were not too smart, they took shoes off outside, than stepped outside w/socks and than into house. Crazy.

 

I know I am going to get thrown tomatoes. But, its a sunny day in Ca today.

 

Those men were there to possibly save your life and the lives of your family. My dear brother is a firefighter and I cringed when I read these words.

[Colleen]

Let's kick a gal while she's down! C'mon, bring it on! After turning an innocent question into a heated discussion; after hearing that Denise is under a huge amount of stress; after learning here that, well, maybe she didn't want opinions so much as affirmation; after reading that she's arrived at a decision...Let's tell her she's full of it! Let's rail on her! Why not? Isn't that what we're here for?

 

Or not.

 

Btw, Megsmachine, like you, I'd prefer to let guests make their own decision regarding the shoes. To that end, I agree with you. But at this point, Denise has made a decision.

[5kidsforME]

Let's kick a gal while she's down! C'mon, bring it on! After turning an innocent question into a heated discussion; after hearing that Denise is under a huge amount of stress; after learning here that, well, maybe she didn't want opinions so much as affirmation; after reading that she's arrived at a decision...Let's tell her she's full of it! Let's rail on her! Why not? Isn't that what we're here for?

 

Or not.

 

Btw, Megsmachine, like you, I'd prefer to let guests make their own decision regarding the shoes. To that end, I agree with you. But at this point, Denise has made a decision.

 

Colleen, Denise is the one that started a whole new thread on it, and then proceeded to admit she has SEVERE foot pain herself and yet she expects others to buck up and deal with it because she herself is a martyr about her own foot pain.

 

I feel for all that she is going through. I just think (again she started not 1 but 2 threads on it) that since she has so much on her plate opening her house is just to much for her at this time.

[newbie]

Those men were there to possibly save your life and the lives of your family. My dear brother is a firefighter and I cringed when I read these words.

 

Ya know, that would seem the case, but they did not break down the door and were snarky about checking for the leak. So I gave some snark back.

 

Believe me if it was life and death, by all means wear your shoes.

[amy g.]

I agree that the best solution is to just cancel the event.

 

You have every right to say, "Sorry, but I'm overwhelmed right now."

[Tree House Academy]

My goodness. LOL Will it ever end?

 

Post a sign on the front door..."If taking off your orthodic shoes before bedtime will cause you severe pain, please, do not remove your shoes. Everyone else, enjoy the clean floors with your clean socks."

 

Sorry, but I find this to be the most ridiculous thing in the world to fight about? Are there no better things in life to disagree upon? Surely we can think of something else to attack and argue about.

[5kidsforME]

My goodness. LOL Will it ever end?

 

Post a sign on the front door..."If taking off your orthodic shoes before bedtime will cause you severe pain, please, do not remove your shoes. Everyone else, enjoy the clean floors with your clean socks."

 

Sorry, but I find this to be the most ridiculous thing in the world to fight about? Are there no better things in life to disagree upon? Surely we can think of something else to attack and argue about.

 

:chillpill:

 

Fight? Attack? Really, I had no idea that was going on here. I can agree with the disagreeing though. ;)

[Lovedtodeath]

 

I think that's a little harsh. If I had severe footpain that required me to wear orthopedic shoes and they were expensive enough that I could only afford one pair then I'd call ahead and explain to the hostess that I wouldn't be able to take my shoes off at her house because of my condition. I'm sure that the OP would either be able to come up with a solution (like offer to use baby wipes or something to wipe off the bottom of the guest's shoes or have those little booties that go over shoes) or decide that one guest wearing shoes in the house wouldn't be a huge big deal.

:iagree:

[Peek a Boo]

Let's kick a gal while she's down! C'mon, bring it on! After turning an innocent question into a heated discussion; after hearing that Denise is under a huge amount of stress; after learning here that, well, maybe she didn't want opinions so much as affirmation; after reading that she's arrived at a decision...Let's tell her she's full of it! Let's rail on her! Why not? Isn't that what we're here for?

 

Or not.

 

Btw, Megsmachine, like you, I'd prefer to let guests make their own decision regarding the shoes. To that end, I agree with you. But at this point, Denise has made a decision.

 

 

I'm glad she's made a decision :) It sounds like a fine decision so far. i mentioned a sign-up clean-up sheet in the other thread. I agree w/ Megs that posting a second thread about the first is opening yourself up to unn3edded scrutiny and likely one that should merit a merged thread decision, but i'm not a mod.

 

 

But being under a huge amount of stress doesn't absolve one from simply being polite. her posts both here and in the OP tend to point to an underlying disrespect of another's possible decisions. It is that kind of reason that i would abstain from coming, period, and save everyone the battle ;)

 

As has been pointed out, The Shoe Issue has been discussed long before denise was even considering this particular issue: people are simply trying to express their reasons. It's basically boiling down to "who can be more respectful" lol. I've had 5 babies crawl outside and on dirty floors. Historically, babies have lived through all kinds of stuff for centuries. They've also died in super-clean hospitals AND filthy places. I provide chairs if guests want to sit on them. If they want to sit on a less-than-pristine floor then i expect they know the risks. People w/ medically-sensitive babies and other medical issues I HOPE would have the courtesy to alert those of us w/o them to the fact so we don't bring our dirty shoes/socks/ feet into their house, period.

 

I'm kinda wondering how socks/ slippers are better than wet shoes on smooth granite, but I'm guessing they all have rubber tread on them?? My guys like sliding around on the wood floors in the kitchen/ hall in socks. They've hit the floor sliding a few times. i plan on putting down a floor that isn't so slippery. Until then, mats will have to do.

 

we could go point-counterpoint for another hundred posts ;)

[tibbyl]

Ya know, that would seem the case, but they did not break down the door and were snarky about checking for the leak. So I gave some snark back.

 

Believe me if it was life and death, by all means wear your shoes.

 

 

Is it customary to call the fire department when you suspect a gas leak inside your home?

 

We've called a heating/cooling company when we have had natural gas leak. They cut off the gas because of the danger. We were without heat for three days during record breaking cold until the unit could be replaced. It was so cold that the huge local university closed for first time in over 20 years.

 

I could fathom calling the utility company but not the fire department.

 

Recently we had a gas leak in our cooking stove, so we called the appliance repair company.

[Garga]

 

I don't think Jesus would have made everyone take off their shoes or made them put on booties before they came into his house. Just sayin.

 

 

There you go! We have a solution! WWJD? Jesus would have washed their feet!

 

(ok-I'm being a little silly now. I find this thread very amusing. Maybe I need to go to bed before my sillies get out of hand.)

[Peek a Boo]

There you go! We have a solution! WWJD? Jesus would have washed their feet!

 

(ok-I'm being a little silly now. I find this thread very amusing. Maybe I need to go to bed before my sillies get out of hand.)

 

 

I probably would have abstained. :D

[tibbyl]

Now that I think more about it, the strong emotions about shoes are not all that surprising once I recall how often people were compelled to comment about my kids and me about going barefoot in certain public areas where there were no ordinances against bare feet.

[Tree House Academy]

:chillpill:

 

Fight? Attack? Really, I had no idea that was going on here. I can agree with the disagreeing though. ;)

 

Really, no idea at all. Hmmm. Perhaps I read differently from my screen. Seems there is always some sort of...yes, fight or verbal attack around here. Not saying this is YOU per sey...I wasn't directing it at anyone particular. It just seems that there is defintely not an "agree to disagree" attitude on this board. It is more..."LISTEN TO ME, I AM RIGHT" kind of stuff. Just interesting to observe from a distance... I would say it does look totally different to someone on this inside looking out. From my vantage point (the outside looking in), it looks utterly ridiculous... very Mountain/Mole Hill if you will. :glare:

Edited February 11, 2009 by Tree House Academy

[Lovedtodeath]

Seems there is always some sort of...yes, fight or verbal attack around here. Not saying this is YOU per sey...I wasn't directing it at anyone particular. It just seems that there is definitely not an "agree to disagree" attitude on this board. It is more..."LISTEN TO ME, I AM RIGHT" kind of stuff. Just interesting to observe from a distance... I would say it does look totally different to someone on this inside looking out. From my vantage point (the outside looking in), it looks utterly ridiculous... very Mountain/Mole Hill if you will. :glare:

I concur, of this thread in particular.

[Erica in PA]

And isn't it the weirdest thing to have a hot topic about? Shoes on/shoes off is right up there with Harry Potter and participating in Halloween.

 

It is weird, and what is even weirder to me is that this is one issue that actually does sort of make me mad!!!! :rant:

 

:lol: